Polly Campbell's Blog, page 24

How to Keep Sane this Summer

Ahhh, summer.

The season of barbecues on the back deck, long sunny days, afternoon swimming sessions.

And the season of kids bringing roly-poly bugs into the house, rifling through the cupboards for food, dripping popsicles on the floor, laundry loaded with grass stains,  Happy playing while the television is on, while the iPad is on, spontaneous sleepovers, and schedules changing so fast it feels like you’re spinning around on a fair ride.

Yeah. That summer.

But there are a few strategies I’m using this year to keep me from losing my mind – and I’m not talking hitting every happy hour in the neighborhood.

While, one key may be the occasional margarita with your girlfriends, enjoying a stress-free summer also involves shifting your mindset and making the most of the change in routine. There are many ways to do it – and believe me I use them all – but the easiest is a quick reframe.

How to Reframe Before You Freak

When I contemplated my summer schedule, which includes, juggling work with limited childcare and the needs of an active 8-year-old, I started to freak. So, I took a couple of deep breaths and then I reframed the situation.

Instead of the “how am I going to get it all done” panicked approach, I adopted the “I’m-fortunate-I-have-the-flexibility” view. Still the same situation, I’m just looking at it from another perspective – one that feels better.

Friends of mine, who are working full time through the summer, have decided to keep their focus on the upcoming August vacation instead of all the long hours they are putting in now to pay for it. Another woman I know, a business owner who regularly sees her revenues drop during the summer months when her clients tend to be out of the office, reframes what could be a stressful situation into one of opportunity by seeing the free time as a way to build her business. The open hours give her time to market, network, and get organized.

There are a variety of ways to look at any one situation. Find the view the looks the best, put on the rose-colored glasses (don’t worry this won’t make you delusional, you’ll still be able to see the weeds in the neighbor’s yard and the pile of work on your desk) and take the perspective that eases stress and amps up good feeling.

On Wednesday, I’ll offer up a few other approaches I use to ease summer stress.

What Freedom Means to Roosevelt, Mandela, Dyer

Freedom makes a huge requirement of every human being. With freedom comes responsibility. For the person who is unwilling to grow up, the person who does not want to carry is own weight, this is a frightening prospect.

Eleanor Roosevelt

Freedom means you are unobstructed in living your life as you choose. Anything less is a form of slavery.

Wayne Dyer

 

For to be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.

Nelson Mandela

 

Quotes from Brainy Quote

Finding Freedom in the Regular Routine

In 1776 the Second Continental Congress, led by celebrity colonists like Thomas Jefferson, Ben Franklin and John Adams, adopted the Declaration of Independence.

That declaration set the course for democracy and, after that little “conflict” called the Revolutionary War, led us to many of the freedoms we still fight about today.

So today, in light of the upcoming Independence Day celebration and my own burgeoning to-do list, I wonder how a group of men without smart phones,  light bulbs and drive-up windows can set the course of freedom for an entire nation when I can’t even find time for a shower?

Sometimes, it seems I am so tied to my routine and daily schedule that I no longer have the freedom to choose how to spend my time. This is of course untrue, but stifling just the same.

Happiness and Personal Freedom

Our happiness is dependent, in part, on how much personal freedom we have, says Richard Ryan, PhD at the University of Rochester. When we have the autonomy to decide what we’ll do and when we’ll do it, we feel more confident, capable and in-charge, and we also have a greater sense of well-being.  It isn’t bad for our relationships either, because often when we feel like we have more free time, we tend to spend it with the people we love.

Yet, most of us give away these good feelings of freedom by adhering to an unyielding, and often self-imposed schedule. We say “yes” to too much and get sucked in by the daily demands. We forget that we are the ones in charge of setting the schedule. Even with a 9 to 5 there are always pockets, like lunch breaks, evening hours, and weekends where we can decide how to spend our time.

So it’s time to declare your own independence from the draining routine. Decide to spend time doing the things you love, keeping the should-do’s and ought-to’s to a minimum,  and  not to filling in every-waking hour with some scheduled event.

Here’s how to do it:

1. Do what you must, then do what you love, then do nothing more. So many days we do the essentials — and everything else. You don’t really need make dinner, do the dishes, and create handcrafted wrapping paper for the 23 birthday parties your child is invited to this summer – unless it gives you great pleasure. If you love making wrapping paper, then do it. When we spend time on the things we enjoy, it fills us up and gives us a sense of freedom. Otherwise, buy the gift bag and eat on paper plates once in awhile so you have an hour to spend on a family hike, or playing the ukulele, or doing nothing at all. It’s a great practice to leave the empty space empty and see what emerges.

2. Leave one weekend a month unscheduled. This means saying “no” sometimes. It means declaring a day as sacred, open time. Don’t make plans. Don’t make any decisions until you wake up that morning and see what you feel like and what the day holds and then do what feels good to you Do, however, spend time talking about your unscheduled Saturday as it approaches. By anticipating the free day you will heighten the happy feelings. Be patient with yourself, it may be hard not to fill the day up with barbecues and cupboard cleaning. But, you’ll get in the habit of it. And it feels freeing.

3. Say “yes” to the things that align with your values, “no” to the others. It’s hard doing to-do list triage on the daily schedule. Often, though, we end up doing things that don’t even align with the things we care about most. This is when our happiness takes a hit. If family is one of your highest values, but you spend most of your days cleaning house or at work then you’ll feel drained, and possibly depressed, at the end of the day. If health is a high value, but you eat take-out and sit at a desk most days instead of working out, your life satisfaction is bound to drop. Take a close look at how you are spending your days and identify those activities that match your personal values and those that don’t. Then stay as close as you can to what matters.

If your job right now does not fit your values, then build in an activity and passion that does – go for that walk on your lunch break, or meditate for 10 minutes, to read that book you are captivated by. Deliberately choose to spend your time on the things that you value and you’ll feel more autonomous.

4. Create some unscheduled time every day. This is a biggie and so hard to do when you are working and parenting, but, if you make it happen, you’ll feel better and get more done in the long run. When I get my daughter to bed, I know I get an hour to myself. I rarely plan that time. Sometimes I’ll go to bed early, or finish a work project or watch a basketball game or read. But, knowing I have a bit of time that I don’t have to coordinate or schedule helps me feel better during the rest of the day. It also quells the feeling of overwhelm. If you can’t carve out time in your day, schedule it. Plan a date night – alone. Get it on the calendar so the kids are accounted for and all the must-dos are met, but then wait until the time arrives before deciding what to do. Then do what  the things that align with your values and desires.

You are free. You do get to decide how to spend your time and while there are many meaningful things that we must do — family responsibilities and career demands–  how we spend the moments in between will determine how much joy and well-being we experience.

 

Five Practices to Strengthen Your Mind, Body, Spirit

Living a healthy life isn’t only about a having a strong body. It’s also about emotional intelligence, spiritual connection, and awareness. It’s about your ability to heal even when hurt. To find peace in the middle of craziness and goodness in the midst of despair. It’s about finding your passion, living your purpose, and making a positive difference in the lives of others.

To feel healthy and live well no matter what’s going on around you, you need strengthen your physical body, as well as your spiritual connection and emotional resilience.

These days, I’m practicing ways to bring the three into alignment, to strengthen my body by bringing more activity into my day and to boost my mind and spirit by living consciously with awareness. Nothing is separate and when you cultivate the three together you step into your best and strongest self.

Here are some ways to do it.

1. 100 steps of gratitude. I am a writer with arthritis which means I sit. A lot. It’s easy to limit my activity on the days when I’m sore or stiff, but I never miss my gratitude practice. So, I’ve combined the two to get me physically and spiritually moving. In my home I have a 100-step route, through the kitchen, around the living room, down the hall. On warm days I also hit the deck. With each of the 100 steps I take, I give thanks for something. I do it aloud. The practice keeps my joints moving and appreciation flowing.

2. Mindful eating. This is a toughie for me, because I’m impatient. I eat fast. But, it’s so important. Not only will present-moment focus on the meal slow you down which is better for your digestion (you’ll also end up eating less) it also makes the food taste better and the meal more enjoyable. Before eating your next meal, slow down to give attention to what is on the plate. Then, take one bite. Put your fork back on your plate and just savor the flavor and the chew. Take it all in. When you eat mindfully, you make meals a time for physical and spiritual nourishment.

3. Have fun and get moving. Play is essential to our emotional and physical health and, well, so is exercise. So, what if you framed exercise as fun? In yet another study that demonstrates the power of how we talk to ourselves, researchers led by Carolina Werle discovered that people who do physical activity that they call or think of as fun, tend to eat less, feel less fatigued and report greater happiness after the activity than those who view the movement as exercise. If you view the activity as a “scenic walk” you’re bound to make healthier choices than those who describe the walk as “exercise.” Lesson here? Find a physical activity that you like, one that really is fun, and talk about it as a recreational event rather than a required activity and you’ll reap greater reward.

4. Do something. It’s easy to excuse your way out of exercise, but there are plenty of things that do have to get done and you can use them to build activity into your day. Wash dishes, pull the weeds, make the beds, vacuum. When you pull the milk jug out of the fridge for the morning breakfast, do a bunch of bicep curls. My physical therapist suggests to get up and do jumping jacks or some other activity during television commercials. I do my stretches during the breaks. Do something to interrupt the amount of time you sit still, and when you do move act deliberately. If you give mindful attention to the chores, or the commercial-time activity, if you really become present to your actions in the moment, your powers of awareness and concentration grow right along with your muscles.

5. Practice self-acceptance. Finally, be accepting what is. Don’t judge your body for its shape or size or how well it moves or doesn’t move. Don’t harsh on yourself for sometimes having a bad attitude or not being mindful at times. Just notice how you are responding, physically and emotionally. Just pay attention. Acknowledge where you are in this moment without judgment and that shift will help you do better.

When we judge ourselves, we shut down any growth. Think about it – if somebody is constantly criticizing, telling you how rotten you are, or how you will never succeed, that feels downright defeating and we are more likely to quit.

You wouldn’t talk that way to your kid or friend (I hope) so don’t do this to yourself. Instead, offer yourself encouragement. Acknowledge this moment without judgment, knowing too that the next moment will be different. Accept who you are and be compassionate.

I did a wall sit a few weeks ago (I do this while brushing my teeth – just a little way to add in activity) and I barely made it 20 seconds. I didn’t judge or condemn myself for my weakness. I just made a mental note: “I did a 20-second wall sit.” Then, I continued on. I did a wall sit every night after for a couple of weeks. Last night, I did a 2-minute wall sit without breaking a sweat. We are more likely to continue on and make healthy progress when we feel safe and supported. Give that to yourself with acceptance.

By creating opportunities for physical, mental and spiritual growth you’ll have the fuel and inspiration you need to live a happier, healthier life.

Building Whole Health

Last spring, my body threw me under a bus. We’re okay now. We didn’t break up or anything.  I’m still with this version of aging bones and graying hair, and I’m good with that now, though we haven’t always had the best relationship.

When I was three, roughly a million years ago, I was diagnosed with juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. Not fun. Not the end of the world either. Just the way it is. It means a fair amount of pain, a lot of stiffness and some limitation. For me, it is also an awesome excuse for not running marathons, (hate running) climbing mountains (hate heights) and has even, every once-in-awhile, helped me get out of doing the dishes and folding the laundry.

Aside from helping with chore avoidance, this body has certainly taught me great compassion, determination, persistence. And, with a supportive family and great friends, I’ve always figured out a way to do the things I’ve wanted to do in this life.

But, last year, my body just kind of rose up and reminded me through throbbing pain and months of sleepless nights that it needed more attention. For awhile I ignored those messages, figured I could push through. Then, I became too tired and I hurt too much to keep going that way.

Paying Attention to the Whole Being

I had to make some changes. I needed to start paying attention and respond to my body’s call for help. So I found a new doc, a great physical therapist and a life-changing acupuncturist who helped me loosen up, ease the pain, sleep again and return to some semblance of sanity.

In between all of these appointments, I rested more. I stopped my workouts, at the urging of the medical folks – many days I couldn’t walk without assistance so probably didn’t need to be on a treadmill right then anyhow– and tried to recover. The rest helped ease the pain, but I also became more stagnant, ate differently (emotionally?) and gained weight.

Now, even though I feel better and the arthritis is under control again, everything else just feels a little off.

It is not enough to be mentally strong and spiritually grounded, I’ve got to nurture that third aspect of self, my physical body, as well.

For a long time I figured that I could disregard my physical self and still be okay. There were times I also tried to deny it and fight against it and ignore it. It didn’t work, of course, my body follows me everywhere. And to be whole, we’ve got to nurture every aspect of ourselves. To move from the gray to the color of our lives we’ve got to be connected to our mind, bodies, spirits.

Treat Yourself Kindly

No matter the state of your physical being you can nurture your body, support it, treat it with kindness.

So, I’m doing that. Taking baby steps now. Exercising again, building more activity into my day. Resting when I need to. Eating the foods that nourish me. I’m grateful for the days when this body works easily. I respect it on the days when it reminds me to rest.

It’s all part of the growth process. And in the end, this same body that hurts sometimes and slows me down in some ways is also the vehicle that allows me to hug my child, see the ocean, laugh with friends, and savor a cold drink on a warm summer day.

Life is in these details. Wholeness is about paying attention to all of it and caring for each aspect of self so that we can experience life fully. Today, I’ll start with a few minutes on the elliptical. I’ll drink down my green smoothie – which is oddly, my new favorite thing – and I’ll be grateful for the physical things that are working well: The breath in my body. My heart. The brain that provides clarity. Somehow this body keeps going despite adversity. That alone makes me want to treat it a bit better.

What aspects of yourself need a little more care, compassion, nurturing? What steps can you take today to boost your spiritual growth, mental development, physical health?

On Wednesday, I’ll share some other ways we can strengthen that mind/body/spirit connection to foster well-being and whole health.

Three Ways to Tighten Your Focus

Focus is the key to getting anything done in this life. When we can place our attention on the present, we make fewer mistakes, few less stressed and have greater satisfaction in life. But with all the background noise of texting and television and e-mails and social media, focus can be hard to find — unless we practice and cultivate our concentration. Here are some ways to do it.

1. Play to your strengths. Are you a person that works well with music playing in the background? Are you most motivated at 2 p.m. or are you an early riser ready to work at 6 a.m. For three days keep a log of your energy flow, motivation, and the moments when you feel most focused and attentive. Then, build your schedule around those times. Plan to do the tasks that require the most concentration at the times you are generally most attentive and create the environment that supports that.

If my house is really dirty or I have a ton of unanswered correspondence sitting in my inbox, I find it hard to focus on my work. So, I take care of that stuff first, have a cup of coffee, and find my focus around 10 a.m. This is usually when I take on the more complex writing structural tasks and revisions. I break the responsibilities into chunks and go piece by piece, with breaks in between. I am distracted by music, so I keep it quiet and I always work from the same spot. I tend to find a flow of new ideas mid-afternoon, so that’s when I make time for more abstract tasks. That’s when I do research or idea development, or spend time roughing out new articles.

Experiment. Play around with your time and tasks. Notice when your focus is piqued and which conditions foster your focus, then set up your schedule and environment to support you.

2. Stop the multitasking madness. Two-percent of the population are what psychologists call super taskers – able to effectively and efficiently juggle a bunch of responsibilities at one time.  You, my friend, are probably not among them. Either am I. Sure, I like to think I am. And, I’ve been known to successfully put on a little make up while driving and talk on the phone while making spaghetti sauce, but too much multi-tasking ramps up stress, leads to a greater number of mistakes, and setbacks and an inability to focus later at the times when we really need to.

When we routinely take on a number of tasks at any one time, we are weakening our ability to concentrate on the important stuff. Focus on small chunks of the larger job. Take on one task and then the next, rather than multi-tasking. You’ll make fewer mistakes and you’ll be strengthening your ability to concentrate and focus.

3. Practice mindfulness. Alright I’m not expecting you to become a monk-like meditator although they’ve got the power of focus down, but it is worthwhile to stop throughout your day and strengthen your powers of concentration and perception. Stop what you are doing. Be still and simply become aware of the things around you. Then, pick a particular item, detail, or experience, and tune into that for a couple of minutes.

Keep your attention on that thing, and bring your mind back to it even when it wanders which it will roughly a zillion, billion times.

This is tough to do in the beginning because we are out of practice. You’ll probably want to quit and whine and make a bunch of excuses like I don’t have time, or I’ll do it after lunch, or I did it for 22 seconds and it didn’t help at all. But do it anyhow. In time, you will have greater control over your attention and it will be easier to focus when you must.

 

Focus on 20-minute Tasks

My daughter charged back to her bedroom to get a pair of shoes for school. She came back with two Barbies, a stuffy, a hot-pink headband in her hair, a water bottle from under the bed, a scratch on her leg from playing with the cat. She did not come back with shoes. There were no shoes to be seen.

No focus = No shoes.

In this house we work a lot on finishing one task before starting another. You can tell how well this is working. Not. But, still I try.

Of all the things I want to teach my daughter, and there are many, (chew with your mouth closed, put your underpants in the hamper, be kind) the ability to focus on the present moment and finish the task at hand, is one of the biggies.

Being able to focus our attention is key to creating success in any area of life. It’s tough to keep friendships, for example, when you are the schmuck that keeps interrupting or looking around the room for something better. Bill paying takes an eternity, if you keep switching your attention to Facebook. Work is tough, if you can’t remember what you were supposed to be doing.

Place Your Attention the Present

Focus – the ability to concentrate and deliberately place your attention – is essential too, for things like gratitude and love and joy. You must be able to notice, to be attentive to the present, in order to appreciate the good emotion that comes with it.

There are a lot of distractions – texts, and apps, mp3s, e-mail pings, commericals, videos, kittens, kids, fresh coffee sitting two rooms away and even our inner voices — competing for our attention. That kind of incessant background noise eats away at our attitude.

When our attention wanders throughout the day we tend to make more mistakes and get less done. This leaves us stressed out, unsettled and unsatisfied. When we can learn to filter those distractions out and hone our focus, we feel better.

One Way to Stay Focused

So, are you still reading this or have you lost focus? Stick with me now, we are in the home stretch…

One way to focus long enough to finish this piece or a bigger task is to pare it down. Break it up in smaller chunks. Baby steps. Then, take on one chunk at a time and hit it hard for no more than 20 minutes.

Most of us can stay sharp for about 15 or 20 minutes before our focus wanders. But, when we chunk the task into 15-minute blocks, we feel like we’re making progress, then we’re more motivated and focused when we work on the next part.

As an added bonus, I list each of these little parts of the bigger whole on my to-do list so I get the joy of crossing them off. I lead an exciting life people.

So break down the tasks you plan to take on today and focus on those smaller, 15-minute pieces to complete the bigger job. Wednesday, I’ll fill you in on a few other tips you can use to sharpen your focus, but next – oh, wait, check out that photo on Facebook….oh is that fresh coffee I smell?

Grow Comfortable with Failure to Live a Creative Life

It can be scary to create something meaningful and put it out for the world, –or your mother — to see. The creative process is messy, and at times muddled, but it is also invigorating and important. If you let your fear of failure stop you from creating, you will feel stagnant. If you let the opinions of others, keep you from creating, you’re going to feel trapped, narrow, constrictive.

Creativity is about expression and innovation and expansion. It shapes how we relate to each other, how we solve problems, see beauty, engage in the world. Failure, rejection, criticism, aren’t easy to deal with – and like you, I’ve had a lot of practice. I still don’t like it. But, failure is an important part of the creative process — necessary even — so it helps if we can develop an ease around those things, a familiarity of sorts. Then we can keep living a creative life even when the setbacks show up.

These tips can help:

1. Make mistakes on purpose. We get so caught up in coloring within the lines that we forget real innovation occurs in the midst of our mistakes. Have one day (or more) a month, where you create imperfection on purpose. Make the mess, where the unmatched clothes. Put the cups in the bowl cupboard. Have fun with this. Get silly. Become familiar with the notion that not everything has to be just so for it to be just fine.

2. Practice courage. Courage is a skill that can be enhanced with practice. Start when the stakes are low. Write a silly poem, one that you aren’t too attached to, and share it with your partner. Or take the first run at a painting and show it to someone when it’s incomplete and imperfect. The more often we put ourselves out there on the little things, the more courage we develop to help us express the big ideas.

3. Release from outcomes. When we get caught up in writing a bestseller, or dreams of a gallery show, or a program on the Food Network, the more limited we become in our creative process. If you create with an end-goal in mind, then you wind up trying to fit your work to a market model. This limits the process and  your express and you’re likely to feel tight and disappointed if those aspirations don’t materialize. Creating is about process. About stepping out, letting go, problem solving, developing, expressing, trying, failing, trying again. That is what matters most. That is the most fun. Focus on the process and the outcomes – and what people have to say about it — won’t matter nearly as much. Seriously.

4.  Keep going. If you are engaged in life at all – if you have a job, or parent a child,or have relationships, or cook meals or handle the household budget – you are creating. You are finding ways to navigate through life challenges and that requires our innate creativity. When you reach outside of your comfort zone to express an idea or feeling through paint or clay or words or gardens, or whatever, you are putting yourself out there in a big way and that feels vulnerable. So, do it anyhow. Because that also feels alive and invigorating and satisfying. This is meaningful and we are happier people when we live meaningful lives.

Create any chance you get. Create what you are comfortable with then do what is intriguing but uncomfortable. Try something new and keep going. No matter what drama comes down, no matter what people say, no matter what you assume others think, no matter how hard and busy and fatiguing life gets, keep creating. It is a route to self-understanding, fulfillment, fun. Beyond that, it changes the world for the rest of us.

Be brave. Keep going. In the end the failures and the criticisms and the setbacks and disappointments will simply be stories you tell on others who weren’t brave enough to try.

Finding the Courage to Create

Every Christmas my family: an advertising exec, a teacher, an attorney, a lab technician and students  become sculptors and engineers. With aluminum foil and cardboard, spray paint, and felt we shape gifts of golf club covers into  giant razor clams, or a extending mirror into a periscope. There have been martini-shakers turned into rocket ships and a belt coiled into a striking cobra.

Often the wrap is more interesting than the present inside. The creations are funny and phenomenal – because no one is afraid. Everyone is willing to try because the audience is a safe one and everybody appreciates the effort more than the outcome.

This is an ideal environment to create, explore, and try new things. Amazing things happen because of it.

But outside of a few friends and family, you’re probably not going this kind of creative kindness. Invariably, when I talk to friends who would like to publish their work or others who want to start writing they talk about how scary it is. How they fear the rejection, not only of editors and publishers, but of the anonymous trolls on social media. They worry that not only will their work be criticized, but their character will be attacked by strangers.

Courage to Create

It takes courage to create.

We don’t always realize that. We say we don’t have time to create (been there done that) or we claim that we’ll write or paint or design or sew, when the house is clean or the kids are grown or the work isn’t so demanding or when humans colonize Mars.

If we’re really honest, fear is at the root of all these excuses. We are afraid.

Fear of Failure

We fear failure and rejection and meanies attacking our very core. We worry that we can’t do it. And, if we finally do that thing we don’t think we can do, we worry that it will suck. This is of course stifling. It’s hard to create when we know that creativity requires grand failure. Yet, failure is part of the deal. To create good stuff you’ve got to make a bunch of bad stuff first. Stuff that isn’t going to work, look good, make sense. That’s part of creativity.

To create requires trial-and-error and in this culture the error part of things is getting harder to deal with. Social media makes this even more daunting. Because while you will have a whole bunch of believers interested in your creations, you’ll also have the haters.  Instead of being praised for stepping out, trying something new, being brave enough to try, creative people are often lambasted for making a mistake, wearing something weird, creating something stupid, not being good enough.

We must remember that despite this cultural criticism, that creating isn’t about getting it right, it’s about expanding into life.

Live Big

So let the turkeys gobble, and be brave – anyhow. Create anyhow. Try something new, practice, fail, live big – anyhow. Get comfortable with failure and you will find joy in the process and pride in the outcome.

When you can develop a softer relationship with failure and rejection, then you are free to participate, show up, and create the life and the work you desire. This is when we come alive.

The creative process is animating just as it is downright freakin’ scary and exhilarating and curious and sometimes, many times, muddled. But, when you develop courage and make friends with failure – you don’t have to love it (I don’t) you only need to cope with it — when you are mindful of the process and less concerned about Facebook feedback, then you get busy. You innovate. You create. You thrive.

Easy? No way. But, creating is always better than not. In Wednesday’s post I’ll offer up some thoughts about how to make it a bit more comfortable so that you can create despite the fear.

Five Surprising Ways to Become More Present

The easiest stress reduction tip I know is to pull yourself back from rumination and worry by rooting yourself in the present moment.

Think about it: most of our stress is about what might happen in the future. How to pay the bills coming due in three weeks. What to wear to the party on Saturday. How your daughter will fare if the kids are mean to her in kindergarten, how to make the doctor’s appointment and still make it to the field in time for your son’s last soccer game.  We worry about what might happen to our money, kids, health, relationships in the future, when all we have is now.

Here’s the thing, when you are in the NOW, living the moment that is this one, you don’t have time to worry. You are too busy making the most of this moment. That feels better, but it also sets up less to stew about. When you are making the most of the moment you have right now, you are creating ripples of good energy that will improve all the moments to come.

Think of it this way: If you are really focused on the project you are working on at work, if you are present to the process in that moment, then you’ll make fewer mistakes, you’ll enjoy the process more and feel more satisfied during the development. You will be less (or not at all) concerned about outcomes because you don’t have time to obsess about that in the now. Instead you are busy working to create a fantastic experience while creating a fantastic project. In the end, that usually makes for a good outcome anyhow.  Worried about what might happen to the kids in later life? Well, focus on spending time with them NOW. Living well in the present is the best deterrent of future troubles.

When we multi-task and ruminate, we make more mistakes, we feel more anxious. When we are present, we don’t. That simple. But how do you get there? When you are stressing about the day, how can you pull yourself into the present and ease the stress.

Try these five things:

1. Close your eyes. Often, when we are living in our heads and disconnected from the present moment we are over-analyzing and over thinking every move. Then just physically stop moving your body and shut down one of your main senses — for most of us that’s sight. When your eyes are closed, take a deep breath and perceive your environment with your sense of touch and taste and hearing and smell. Don’t over think this, just let your senses take over. Our senses have the keen ability to pull us right back to the now. Use them when you are disconnected and moving too far ahead.

2. Savor. Savor is the act of seeing the good things in life, then identifying and absorbing the good feelings from that moment. We cannot savor things that haven’t happened yet. We cannot savor things that might happen. The only way to savor is to become present. So, stop, look around you and find one thing that is wonderful, or beautiful or inspiring — a delicate web growing between the leaves, a purr of a kitten, the warm fingers of your child as they absentmindedly reach out for your hand, the flavor of a garlic or sweet wine. Find the good stuff in this moment and relish it to reconnect to now.

3. Whistle, or sing a simple tune. When we are worried about what might happen in the future, we are stuck in rumination. to stop that cycle, bring your brain back to what is, NOW.  Do this by singing a simple tune or whistling. Pay attention to the notes and the breath moving in and out through your lungs. Your body only exists in the present and when you take on a task that requires your attention to complete, it brings you right back to the present.

4. Daydream in reverse. Right. Here I’ve been telling you to not think too far ahead and now I’m going to show you how to use those projections to come back to the present. Imagine your future self. Think about what your life will look like a few years out. Imagine the dreams you’ve accomplished, the people in your life, the house you live in. Paint the picture in your mind – what you want it to look like, then rewind back toward the present day. Put your attention on today. Right now in this moment, knowing that whatever you do right now, will lead you to the future you imagined but the only way to get there is to stay present right now.

5. Pause to see what is. This is one of my favorites probably because it’s the easiest one for me to do. Throughout your day — when you wake up, or at lunchtime, before you start the car, before bed or at any other transition in your day — stop to see what is. Give mindful attention to the things in your environment and call them out: I hear a fly buzzing against the window, I see cat fluff in the corner, I feel the heat from the floor vent on my ankles.  Do not judge them: I see the fly against the window that came in through the broken screen,  this house is falling apart, (sigh) I’ve got so much to do. Do not feel the heat on your ankles and then condemn the weather for being cold and raising your heat bill. Just notice. What is there. This is your life right now. By becoming present to all that, life becomes easier and more colorful because you are no longer worried about what might be, you are living with what is.