Leon Scott Baxter's Blog, page 15
January 18, 2014
Non-Bedroom Tips for Increasing Sexual Intimacy
Keeping your sex life exciting in marriage takes work from both spouses and it often feels as if it’s a never-ending (but often thrilling) process. However, it’s perfectly normal for married couples to experience down periods with decreased sexual action, and this is when many will look for tips on how to keep things exciting.
Here’s the deal: by now you’ve probably heard just about every bedroom trick there is. From role-playing, to trying new positions, to finding new paths to orgasm, and even erotic massage, there are all kinds of popular things to try in bed. And the good news is that most of them will help quite a bit. But there’s also something to be said for the intimate activities and efforts outside of the bedroom that can lead to increased desire for sex. So, here are a few “non-sexual” tips for keeping your marriage sex life alive and thriving.
Keep Physical Touch Alive
It’s basic, but the truth is, ordinary physical touch is incredibly important in relationships. A 2010 New York Times article brilliantly detailed some of the psychology behind physical touch, and it’s all applicable to relationships. Basically, touch helps you to communicate feelings and desires toward your spouse, so it’s important not to ignore it. A light touch here and there throughout the day, a bit of kissing in the early afternoon, some hand-holding while walking the dog, etc. This touching can all work toward increasing intimacy.
Keep Sex Out In The Open
No, this doesn’t mean you should actually have sex out in the open. Rather, it means don’t turn sex into something so private you don’t even think about it until you’re both between the sheets. There are plenty of ways to make your sex into a more open, present part of your marriage. You may occasionally read some erotic literature together, or watch an adult film; one of you could surprise the other with some revealing and eye-opening lingerie like these that I found here. If you’re a particularly open couple, you can even simply discuss your sex life, perhaps what you’ve enjoyed lately in addition to what you would like to try. Generally speaking, this openness is very beneficial.
Spend Time Apart
This may seem counterintuitive, and no one is suggesting you spend weeks apart from one another by any means. But try to maintain “girl time” or “guy time” respectively, and don’t do everything as a couple. This is generally considered a healthy practice anyway, but it can also increase your longing for one another when you get home at the end of the night.
Be Active Together
There are clear links between excitement (or athletic exertion) and libido boost. And for that reason, it’s always a good idea to be active together as a couple. This could mean anything from playing tennis against one another, to heading out on a jog, or doing something more adventurous like rock climbing or river kayaking The point is, find a way to boost some adrenaline together—you may be surprised at the impact it has on your lives in bed!
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This article was written by Sandra Givens.
January 12, 2014
Baby, It’s Cold Outside
©iStockphoto.com:IS_ImageSource
Planes were grounded, pipes were bursting, schools were closed. Things were insanely cold, yet there may be a little good that came out of it.
Recently scientists have found that men are more amorous during winter months. Men seems to find women more attractive during the months of December, January and February. And, what with electricity and cable going out during the big cold, what better way to keep warm than with some snuggling under the sheets (and blankets, and comforters and sleeping bags)?
Cold is cold, but it often brings us together intimately, and intimacy is very important in relationships. We want to stay connnected emotionally and intellectually, but also connecting physically keeps us connected.
So, the next time the news warns of an upcoming polar vortex, get the snow shovel ready, stock up on mittens and earmuffs, and get ready for some loving!
January 8, 2014
Seven Days of Freedom
I just watched the Warner Brothers film, Hall Pass, with Owen Wilson and Jason Sudeikis. It came out in 2011. Was it the best film? No, but I was mildly entertained.
It’s about two wives who give their husbands a week off from marriage so they can attempt to sow their oats and learn to appreciate their spouses again. Of course, all ends happily with the couples closer than before their week off, although one of the four spouses actually does cheat.
The movie gives the impression that we, as spouses, think that the grass is greener in Single Land and that we have forgotten the realities of being solo. So, if we give our spouse a week off, they will remember that all wasn’t as peachy as their clouded recollection lets on. So, after the week, we will realize that we are so incredibly fortunate to have what we have.
Sounds good on paper, and works wonderfully in Hollywood, but, I for one, would NEVER recommend hall-passing your spouse. Sure, you may realize that you are one lucky duck once you have experienced seven “premarital” days, but what you (or your spouse) have done may be the dark cloud that stays with your marriage for the rest of your days. It’s just not worth it.
And, even if nothing happens, one or both of you may resent the other for even accepting (or offering) the hall pass in the first place.
If you are finding that your spouse doesn’t appreciate you the way you think you deserve, don’t let them go off and do their thing with no repercussions for a week. Instead, communicate, go on dates, and brings some excitement back to the marriage. You can find lots of ways on this website and if you want daily specifics, consider checking the Daily Tips. Feel free to start by watching this movie
for a couple of laughs.
Something to Go Nuts For
The holidays have come and gone. Are you looking back and thinking that your gift/s to your partner were run-of-the-mill? Do you wish you could have offered something creative for the person who has everything? In comes Steve Casino’s original peanut shell art.
This guy has done incredible miniature pieces that are the spitting images of Elton John, Clint Eastwood, Wonder Woman, Salvador Dali and Pee Wee Herman, to name a few.
How does this apply to you? Well, Steve will do personal pieces, but there’s a month’s waiting list. So get on it now if you want to give your sweetheart their face on a peanut. Check out this two-minute video that shows how Casino makes his peanuts come to life.
If you are planning on getting hitched soon, Casino is doing cake-toppers as well. A pair can run you about $500 (give or take).
December 7, 2013
November 29, 2013
Okay to Be a Bit Frigid, Khloe
So, it looks like Khloe Kardashian is taking back her basketball player hubby, Lamar Odom. A couple months back she kicked him out of their 8,000 square foot home because he was hooked on crack. She’
d been putting up a stoic front, giving the appearance of a happy marriage, but too much just became too much.
But, apparently, she’s taking the former Laker back. As you know, I am all about love. I want couples to prevail and love to survive. Far be it from me to sabotage a relationship, but I do question some of what Khloe is doing.
Lamar has begged his wife for another chance and has promised to quit cracking up (not at her jokes, either). He’d been clean for a few days and apologized to Kardahian’s mom, Kris Jenner. He started going back to the gym and added a few pounds. So, sure, looks like he’s moving in the right direction. But, from where I’m sitting, a few days isn’t enough to let him back in. But, I get it. Khloe wants so badly to get the man back that she married. So, when she sees he might be coming around, patience for proof may be tough.
But, what about the fact that he not only did drugs and lied, but that he cheated on Khloe? Yes, I know; relationships can survive cheating. But, I think that Khloe’s talking him back just a bit too quickly. Time is what will prove if he can stay clean and out of other women’s pants. But, here’s what gets me, and that I just don’t get. Khloe’s sleeping with Lamar again. Yes, it’s her husband. Yes, he’s promised to be faithful, but come on, he just slept with other women recently. Youi can’t give him any of that that for quite some time, or at least until you have him tested.
Yes, sex can be tough to hold out for, but when your partner is sleeping with other women and doing drugs, you need to hold off, not as a punishment for him, but as a show of power as well as an opportunity for him to show what he’s made of. Come on, Khloe, don’t cave too quickly!
November 22, 2013
Getting Fit Leads to Divorce?
A recent study this month shows that if one person in a relationship makes a significant healthy weight loss, and the other hasn’t, it could derail the relationship. Here’s the deal. The syudy claims that in some relationships that the one who’s lost the weight may nag the other to jump on the bandwagin. Or, in some cases, the one who hadn’t lost the weight may sabotage their partner with junk food in order to get them back to their ld size.
So, does this mean that couples who are overwight should avoid losing weight for fear of driving a wedge between them? Heck no! The study says that often the healthy lifestyle brings couples together, but in some instances, it drives couplpes apart.
My take is that if the lifestyle change creates a riff, there was something else already under the surface that was going to show it face at some point anyway. The sudy mentions different scenarios:
• Nagging a partner to get healthier
• Insecurity with partner’s weight loss
• Withholding of sex until partner gained the weight back
If you are nagging your partner to lose the weight, odds are you’re stuck on the physical. Yes, we all want our partners to be healthy, but did we marry them for their looks or for who they are? If it’s for looks, things were bound to go bad at some point. If you are insecrue about yoiur partner’s healthy change, that’s not their problem. It’s yours. If your relationship is based on a solid foundation, then there’s nothing to fear, and if you are unhappy with your health, then do something about it like your partner. And, if you are withhloding sex so you can have your “teddy bear” back, you are sabotaging your partner, again, because you feel bad about yourself, and misery loves company.
Don’t be afraid to get healthy. Doing
©iStockphoto.com/DebbiSmirnoff
it together really does bring you closer and it can also be an aphrodisiac. Check it out.
November 16, 2013
Not All Couple’s Pics Are Like This
I think it would be fair to say that this compilation of “couples photos” was put together to poke fun at a few of the pairs. Some will make you laugh. Some might make you wince. Still others might make you ask, “Why?” And, yes, I did all of those (all three in fact with photo number four). But, once I stripped down the layers (pun intended: see photos three, five and twenty), and was able to look past the silliness of many of them, I saw that these were mostly couples who were creating memories that meant something to them at the time. Maybe they were into cats, (#1), grocery stores (#6), or even salmonella (#11). But, these couples went out on a limb to create a memory that meant something to them.
So, feel free to laugh, as I did, but also don’t be afraid to learn something from these guys; make memories with your partner. Do some
thing off the beaten path that has significance to you. March to your own drummer even if that means your wedding picture is with your husband on TV (#19). Just be careful who gets a hold of your photos. You don’t want to end up blogged about in twenty years.
