Leon Scott Baxter's Blog, page 14
March 22, 2014
It’s Neither Physical Nor Romantic
The following is not my work. I saw it online. I can’t find the original source, but I found it so powerful and profound that I had to share it with you…
It was approximately 8.30 a.m. on a busy morning when an elderly gentleman in his eighties arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He stated that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9.00 a.m. I took his vital signs and had him take a seat. I knew it would take more than an hour before someone would to able to attend to him. I saw him check his watch anxiously for the time and decided to evaluate his wound since I was not busy with another patient.
On examination, the wound was well healed. Hence, I talked to one of the doctors to get the supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound. We began to engage in a conversation while I was taking care of his wound. I asked him if he had another doctor’s appointment later as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no and said that he needed to go to the nursing home to have breakfast with his wife. I inquired about her health. He told me that she had been in the nursing home for a while as she was a victim of Alzheimer’s disease.
I probed further and asked if she would be upset if he was slightly late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was and she had not been able to recognize him since five years ago. I asked him in surprise, “And you still go every morning, even though she doesn’t know who you are?” He smiled as he patted my hand and said, “She doesn’t know me, but I still know who she is.” I had to hold back my tears as he left. I had goose bumps on my arm, and I thought, “That is the kind of love I want in my life.” True love is neither physical nor romantic.
True love transcends all. When we fall in love, we don’t think that we’ll ever end up in this situation, but if we do, love keeps us coming back.
March 15, 2014
First Kisses
Do you remember your first kiss with your current partner? Was it awkward, uncomfortable, romantic, exhilirating? I remember mine with my wife. We celebrate it every year, Valentine’s Day, 1990. We’d been sharing a “Jungle Juice” at a dance club. It was filled with ice. As we finished the drink, we shared the ice, because the dancing had made us very hot. I had the cup and had the last piece of ice. I held it in my teeth and asked, “Did you want the last one?” She took th ehint and we melted the ice, PDQ.
What if you had a first kiss, though, with a complete stranger? Would it be awkward, uncomfortable, romantic, exhilirating? The twenty strangers in this video were put in that precise situation, asked to kiss on camera for the first time. Watch and see if any of this brings back those first kisses of yesteryear.
I found myself smiling, wanting to share this with my wife, and then wanting to “first kiss” her again. Maybe this
will bring a little of that to you, too.
March 9, 2014
Single Guy Exposes The Secrets to Strong Relationships
What does a single guy know about couples, relationships and love? Well, this one knows a lot. His name is Nate Bagley, and he spent a year interviewing couples, all sorts of couples: gay/straight, old/young, rich/poor, religious, athiest, the whole gamut and he recorded his unbiased results. I read about him here.
I’m not going to disclose his results in this post. you can read them yourself, but he does expose the keys to successful relationships, solving disagreements, as well as the best advice he learned.
If you are interested in keeping your relationship strong, healthy and loving, take a look at this piece. It’s well worth it.
February 28, 2014
Do Women Need Kissing Tips?
Yes, some do! I read a piece on DatingAdvice.com the worst things a guy can do when he kisses a woman for the first time.
I felt compelled to respond with a little insight as to why women might need some advice, too.
Check it out here
©iStockphoto.com:Yuri
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February 14, 2014
Does Love Drive Us Apart?
I just finished reading this interesting piece that poses the question: “What if love was meant to drive us apart?” You might want to read it before reading the rest of this post…
So, I am no biological anthropologist. I don’t do in-depth studies of human nature. I’m just a self-proclaimed relationship guru who is sitting at his desktop answering people’s questions about love.
The piece discusses how monogamy is not natural for human beings and that it’s obvious with out high divorce rates and increasing infidelity. I agree that we are a species that started out polygamous. And, that was a necesity to propogate the species. A male had to plant his seed in as many females as possibel to produce as much offspring, because so many would die. In order for the clan, tribe and speices to survive, as many children as possibel needed to be brone.
Yet, as we have made advancements in our survival, we as a society have decided that we want to be monogamous, although it goes against our natural instinct
s. Our reasoning often develops much faster than our instincts change. Yes, we do divorce at a high rate and yes we cheat an awful lot. There is that polygamous drive in many of us. So, why should we buy in to monogamy? because we want to. It’s that simple. We asked for it as a species.
Look, if couples or individuals don’t want to be monogamous, they don’t have to be. If we want to be driven by our instincts, so be it. Everyone has that choice. Instincts may tell us to sit around the house all day watching Ellen and sports while eacting cheese sticks. Some of us do it. We give in to what we feel, because it’s where we are driven if given no limits.
Yet, many of us fight these “instincts”. Why? Because we want more than what our ancestors had. Because we’ve developed intellectually. becase we know what’s best for us, for our loved ones, for our society as well as our futures.
Does love drive us apart? Only if we let it.
February 7, 2014
Easy Valentine’s Day Ideas
I like this. I like this a lot! Wanna know what why? Click on it!
In case you haven’t clicked on it yet, let me tell you why. Valentine’s Day is right around the corner and that causes stress for so many of us in relationships. You gotta get two dozen roses, a box of chocolates, reservations at a romantic bistro, the whole nine.
But, really, you don’t have to. Seriously, there are other ways to express your love without having to spend an arm and a leg, dealing with the masses, and doing what Hallmark tells us signifies Valentine’s Day.
This link gives you easy ways to share Valentine’s Day at home. And, if you think about it, romance is personal. Romance is private. And, romance is personal. So, use some of these ideas
or allow them to inspire you to create your own.
Enjoy and have a great Valentine’s Day.
February 2, 2014
January 31, 2014
Super Bowl Love
Valentine’s Day is two weeks away. Let’s face it; it’s a holiday where men are supposed to express some semblance of romance once a year. I know. Women reciprocate, too. But, when was the last time a guy bragged to his buddies about how romantic his woman was on February 14th? It’s because women live in a more romanticized world than men (don’t take offense; just realize I’m talking in generalizations here). So, for one day a year, men are supposed to give their women the day they dream about the other 364 days of the year.
©FreeDigitalPhotos.net: Idea_go
But, men need romance, too. We don’t admit it, because we don’t even realize it. When we hear “romance” we either think candies, roses and jewlery or we think sex (the latter of which we don’t mind too much, but which women don’t often equate to romance). Romance, though, is really nothing more than making your partner feel loved and cared for. For guys sex does that, at least for a few minutes. Flowers, candies and jewelry, not so much.
So for women to romance their men, they need to think like a man. What would make him feel loved? What would make him feel cared for? The Superbowl! That’s right. The Superbowl is just around the corner. Make Superbowl Sunday hisValentine’s Day. So, what does he want for The Big Game? You rooting on his team with him? You leaving him alone with his buddies to watch the game? You wearing a Broncos jersey and hosting a beer, chicken wings, and chips party? You know your man. You know what makes him feel loved.
Do that for him this Sunday. Guaranteed, he’ll appreciate it and will know what romance feels like for a guy.
And, if he’s not a football fan? NBA All-Start Weekend is coming up in two weeks. If that don’t float his boat either, invest in some roses and chocolates. Guys need romance, too.
Superbowl Love
Valentine’s Day is two weeks away. Let’s face it; it’s a holiday where men are supposed to express some semblance of romance once a year. I know. Women reciprocate, too. But, when was the last time a guy bragged to his buddies about how romantic his woman was on February 14th? It’s because women live in a more romanticized world than men (don’t take offense; just realize I’m talking in generalizations here). So, for one day a year, men are supposed to give their women the day they dream about the other 364 days of the year.
©FreeDigitalPhotos.net: Idea_go
But, men need romance, too. We don’t admit it, because we don’t even realize it. When we hear “romance” we either think candies, roses and jewlery or we think sex (the latter of which we don’t mind too much, but which women don’t often equate to romance). Romance, though, is really nothing more than making your partner feel loved and cared for. For guys sex does that, at least for a few minutes. Flowers, candies and jewelry, not so much.
So for women to romance their men, they need to think like a man. What would make him feel loved? What would make him feel cared for? The Superbowl! That’s right. The Superbowl is just around the corner. Make Superbowl Sunday hisValentine’s Day. So, what does he want for The Big Game? You rooting on his team with him? You leaving him alone with his buddies to watch the game? You wearing a Broncos jersey and hosting a beer, chicken wings, and chips party? You know your man. You know what makes him feel loved.
Do that for him this Sunday. Guaranteed, he’ll appreciate it and will know what romance feels like for a guy.
And, if he’s not a football fan? NBA All-Start Weekend is coming up in two weeks. If that don’t float his boat either, invest in some roses and chocolates. Guys need romance, too.
January 26, 2014
We’re Still Watching This?
If you know me, you know that not only am I America’s Relationship Guru, but I like me a little reality TV now and again (yes, I openly admit that it’s one of my vices). Love me a little Survivor, Biggest Loser and I even watched The Bachelor when it forst started for the first couple of seasons. The thing is, I got sick of it PDQ. It was the same thing: a bunch of beautiful women who threw themselves at a handsome man, then, behind closed doors, were like a bunch of cats thrown into a burlap sack, backstabbing and fighting with one another.
Then, as they got eliminated, these women expressed that they were trul heartbroken after six weeks of datiung a man who had been dating seven other women. Finally, he’d choose the woman of his dreams and she’s accept his proposal and they would go off into the sunset living happily together. Fade to black.
Nine out of ten times, though, if you followed up the story, the relatioinship would end. And, of course it would. This was no way to find the love of your life, speeding up the process on national TV with forced romance. It was so surreal, actually unreal, thus the failed relationships.
But, America is still watching this show. Tonight is the big Bachelor Wedding. Why are we still watching this program? I mean, isn’t it like reading fairytales? You’ve got the perfect “prince” looking for his “proncess” who has to overcome adversaries and obstacles. He finally chooses her and all is right in the world. But, there was a reason we stopped reading tese bi=ooks when we were six. They weren’t realistic! They didn’t reflect the real world! Do we want women to think that there world is not complete until a man chooses them from the crowd of other perfect women? DO we want men to believe that they have all the control and that women are just waiting for them to say the word? Do we want couples to think that romance is all about incredible dinners and dates and a rose every night? Shouldn’t we have abandoned this fairytale by now?
Obviously not. Maybe we cling to The Bachelor precisely because it is fantasy, because we have abandoned Cinderella and Snow White years before and yet we still long for the fictionalized love we grew up with in storybooks. Maybe we will be tuning in tonight because Sean is our modern day Prince Charming and Catherine is 2014′s Sleepin Beauty. If we are still tuning in to The Bachelor to enjoy a story, then let’s go for it. But, if it’s because we believe that this is the way love works, turn the channel and turn on The Grammy’s where you can see artists who sing songs about fantasy love… there’s really no winning this, is there?
photo courtesy of istockphoto: comanneleven
