Does Love Drive Us Apart?
I just finished reading this interesting piece that poses the question: “What if love was meant to drive us apart?” You might want to read it before reading the rest of this post…
So, I am no biological anthropologist. I don’t do in-depth studies of human nature. I’m just a self-proclaimed relationship guru who is sitting at his desktop answering people’s questions about love.
The piece discusses how monogamy is not natural for human beings and that it’s obvious with out high divorce rates and increasing infidelity. I agree that we are a species that started out polygamous. And, that was a necesity to propogate the species. A male had to plant his seed in as many females as possibel to produce as much offspring, because so many would die. In order for the clan, tribe and speices to survive, as many children as possibel needed to be brone.
Yet, as we have made advancements in our survival, we as a society have decided that we want to be monogamous, although it goes against our natural instinct
s. Our reasoning often develops much faster than our instincts change. Yes, we do divorce at a high rate and yes we cheat an awful lot. There is that polygamous drive in many of us. So, why should we buy in to monogamy? because we want to. It’s that simple. We asked for it as a species.
Look, if couples or individuals don’t want to be monogamous, they don’t have to be. If we want to be driven by our instincts, so be it. Everyone has that choice. Instincts may tell us to sit around the house all day watching Ellen and sports while eacting cheese sticks. Some of us do it. We give in to what we feel, because it’s where we are driven if given no limits.
Yet, many of us fight these “instincts”. Why? Because we want more than what our ancestors had. Because we’ve developed intellectually. becase we know what’s best for us, for our loved ones, for our society as well as our futures.
Does love drive us apart? Only if we let it.
