Michael Joe Armijo's Blog, page 56

Hopeful Adventure

"FEAR is a great motivator.”
-as heard while watching G.I. JOE: The Rise of Cobra (2009 film)

Earlier this month I sent a cool postcard to Paloma.   I wanted to update her on the latest.  I wrote the following on a CALIFORNIA DREAMIN' postcard:

3-1-89 

Paloma, Thanks for approving of the flight attendant idea…In fact, I have a preliminary interview tomorrow at 2:30PM, 3-2-89 at SFO with UNITED AIRLINES.  We’ll see.   I remember you always wanted to do that (be a flight attendant).  I hope I get the job.  
When I wrote HELP ME RHONDA I was referring to the old BEACH BOYS song.   Rhonda is history anyway.   She’s only 21 and is moving back to San Diego.  
I’ve gone out a couple of times with Maria (a gal 26 years who works at ELITE Models in SF).  I just met a gal last Sat. night named Judy from Los Gatos who is 28.   We may go out.  We’ll see.  

Steve Antol still writes.   I still have not received the DIVA perfume sample.   It figures that you would have it already.   Still looking…

I’ll take a photo of my mom’s dolls next time I’m at her house.   I miss you lots.  Love, Michael March 28, 1989

I am trying to become more serious about my bicycling time.   I simply don’t have the spare time to ride as much with work, graduate school and my other interests.   This must change.   For things to change, I have to change.

I did manage a good ride today and I stopped at mom’s house for a pit stop to drink some iced-lemonade.   I had left my camera there and I took a photo of her growing collection of dolls.   The dolls seem to be alive and chatting secrets.   I wonder what they’re saying. Mom was in seventh heaven when Ashley and Holly came by for babysitting time.   Ashley and Holly were in their best behavior.   I couldn’t help myself and had to shoot some random photographic shots of them as well.

March 29, 1989Today was my last day of teaching the Patricia Crowley 3rd and 4thgraders in San Francisco.  

All of the students signed a special card from me which had the cover imprint of ‘Know what’s special about this THANK YOU card?’
Inside the card it followed with ‘The very special person who’s holding it!’   It was signed by all of the students:  Samantha Du, Michael Luu, Heather Nguyen, Jenny Mac, Lisa Kuang, Alexander Fernandez, Stacey Zabala, Simon Kiyama, Terry Fu, Jason Shiu, Jennie Yee, Anna Lee, Joyce Hogan, Brian Ly, Maria Jhun, Jeffrey Ha, Bill Kast, Linda Taing, Steven Su, Gary Shiu, Kenneth Yip, Richard Ng, Selena Lai, David Lam, Deana Vi, Rose Felix, Juan Hernandez, Alex Lagne. 

A part of me wants to teach again…it is so rewarding.   Sometimes I am afraid as to what happens next.  I shouldn’t be.   I should move forward with ambition, excitement and hopeful adventure.


I am now at home on April Fool's Day 1989 and feel it is time for a self-portrait.  I’m wearing the French beret I bought in Paris, France in 1985.   Something tells me I should send this photo to Paloma.   She might laugh, so maybe not.   Speaking of Paloma, I wrote her last on St. Patrick's Day.  I'm sure she received it by now.   I wrote the following on a cool M and M's card that I found for her:

Daytime, March 17, 1989

Dear Paloma, Happy St. Patrick ’s Day.  I have a slight cold.   You’re going to LOVE this story.   At work we have a program called PERSONAL BEST in which other employees nominate fellow employees for outstanding performance, leading to company profits and/or good deeds, etc.   In the past at PAC BELL YELLOW PAGES the salespeople were always recognized and rewarded, so that’s why this PERSONAL BEST program came about.   In Jan 89 a group of employees evaluated all of the nominations in LA and selected the winners.   The prize is an all-expense paid trip to a new resort on the BIG ISLAND of Hawaii at the Hyatt Waikoloa.   You can swim with dolphins there and it’s a 62-acre new resort that just opened two months ago.   Anyway, on March 14th (this week) they announced the winners and can you guess who was announced as the first winner!   YES…ME!!!  

I’m going to Hawaii again from May 15-19 and all airfare, hotels, meals, etc. are paid for (and it’s not considered a vacation time for me)!   I get to bring a guest.   If YOU were here I’d take you—but I promised Mitch (a friend/coworker) if I won that I’d take him.   If he won he agreed to take me.   He didn’t get selected.   So, I’m sticking to the deal of taking him.  I’m very excited about this trip. On March 3rdI had that preliminary interview with UNITED AIRLINES but I haven’t heard anything since.   They’re supposed to send me tickets to CHICAGO for a secondary interview soon.   If I don’t get them then I was screened OUT of the running.  Oh well…I’ll keep you informed.

You did it again!  Your postcard of black and red lips reminded me of Ann-Margret lips.  HOT!  Thanx… And thanks for your letter.   It’s true we can tell each other just about anything.   It’s great!   Oh…I decided to move into my mom’s house effective April 1st.   Right now I pay her $500/month to live in the townhouse.   If I move-in with her I don’t pay a cent.   She can rent the townhouse for $1200.   She works nights M-F, so I’ll still have my freedom (somewhat).   I just can’t have people spend the night—but I don’t have that happen very often (Ha-ha…no snide remarks…I don’t!).
Oh, by the way, did you know the M’s on M and M’s stand for MICHAEL?  Ha-ha.   Regards to Jonathan and Alexandre.
Missing You,
Love, Michael

He shut his eyes for a moment, losing himself to the sun and the wind.
-Betrayal of Love and Freedom
by Paul Huljich, a novel
 
   

 

Capture Your Reader's Attention

In my diary of a single winter I have tried to preserve unity.   Everything described took place while I was watching it, but I do not believe that honest observation is enough.  The emotions and behavior of the watcher are also facts, and they must be truthfully recorded.
--The Peregrine by J.A. BAKER

The more I go to visit my 3rd and 4thgrade class in San Francisco I get the feeling that the idea of being a schoolteacher is really for ‘me’.   I enjoy it so much.   The children are so well-behaved and I bring something new to them that their regular teacher does not.   I brought postcards one day for each of them with ideas of what to write on their respective postcard.   I said, “Simply write something that happened in your day today or write about a TV program you watched or a place you wish to visit or about the image on your postcard and what it means to you.  You can write about anything.”   Another time I explained how I worked for Yellow Page Advertising and how the concept of an advertisement requires copy, layout and design.  
"The copy,” I explained, “is what we write in an advertisement.   It can be as simple as three words or two words like 'GOT MILK' but it has to capture your reader’s attention.   The copy portion of an advertisement is the important aspect of writing.   The layout is the positioning of everything and the design is the art or photos used.”
As I explained about copy, layout and design they were all so fascinated.   I know I’m going to miss my visits to them on Thursday mornings.

March 26, 1989I went to visit mom's house on EASTER SUNDAY and Holly and Ashley were already there.   I took pictures of Holly.   She’s so happy.   She recently discovered how to ride the choo choo train.

Soon the other two (Lauren and Leigh) arrived.  They were all dressed in their pretty EASTER outfits.  Mom had bought Easter baskets for Ashley and Lauren.   Leigh and Holly were too little to know what was going on, so they didn’t get Easter baskets (just candy).I helped to find a good hiding place for the baskets but it was easy enough for Ashley and Lauren to find them.   I gave them “you’re getting warmer” hints.   I’m sure that helped.

They all looked so cute together.  I managed to get them all positioned on mom’s love seat sofa for a group photo.   They were clearly in happy mode.   It made me happy to see them this way.   It’s nice when everyone is getting along, having a good time.

PHOTO:  Easter Sunday - Lauren, Ashley, Leigh, Holly ARMIJO The EASTER Sunday festivities ended almost as quickly as they'd started and soon Lauren and Leigh returned home to Castro Valley.  Helen awoke from her nap and a bit of television was observed and then it was time to go.
It was a busy time for me.   My Monday night class at the University of San Francisco was beginning to heat up.   I took excellent notes and I was learning a lot.   I liked sitting in the back of the class.   I was able to get a complete overview of everyone.  It was also a good place to hide and observe.   My two courses were HUMAN SEXUALITY and COUNSELING 101.
In my HUMAN SEXUALITY class, my professor, wrote a bar chart on the chalkboard.   He explained, "Everyone's sexuality is different.   If you mark one end of the bar chart as completely heterosexual and the other end of the bar chart completely homosexual you will find that we ALL fall somewhere in between the bar."  I tried to decipher where I would mark my status.   I wondered.There was nothing more exciting than to climb the rattan rope ladder into a high tree and hide yourself in the green foliage, for hours.
--THE TEN THOUSAND THINGS by Maria Dermout
 
 
 

The Living Years

How difficult it must be to be a person.   To constantly subvert your desires.   To worry about doing the right thing, rather than doing what is most expedient.
--The Art of Racing in the Rain
by Garth Stein, a novel

I am a little sad.   At the end of this month my participation as part-time teacher in the THINK/WRITE Program will be ending.  My Thursday thrill of inspiring 4th and 5th graders to write will be at an end.   They’re such a great group of kids.  I really like going.  Perhaps I will make teaching a part of my life again one day.   I mailed Steven Antol a few of the letters/postcards that my students had written.  He loved them.

March 18, 1989 Postcard from Steven Antol:  Surf’s Up, HAWAII Dear Michael, Ohayoo Gozamasu (Good Morning),

Just woke up, took a shower and I’m on my way to have a Japanese breakfast and mail this card.   Had another trip to Hawaii...  Of course I checked my P.O. Box and heard from you.   The letters from the kids were so cute.  I’m on a block of 5 days again.   I’ll get my work assignment in about an hour…San Francisco?   Maybe? 
Hey, I hope you’re doing well.   I’m doing fairly fine…pretty busy lately.   So, you had a lube job.   Aren’t you lucky! Jaa Mata (See You Later),  S.

March 1989, a cool GRACE JONES Postcard from PalomaDear Michael,

Just a few words to send you some papers about the place where I’m going to live and work.   This way you’ll also have my new address.   We’ll be moving there in May.   We have lived there in June.   Believe it or not the other day I head on the radio AGAINST ALL ODDS and RED RED WINE…one after the other.  Isn’t that incredible?   That made me sad.  Oh well…Friends are tight!  Right!   Hawaii, England and France…really tight, I bet!   Write me.  Love You, Paloma
March 20, 1989 Postcard of KIRIKO’s FACTORY designs from Steven Antol…I laughed at this card because Steven wrote two of my made-up acronyms on the card:  QBL (Questionably Gay) and NMT (Not My Type).
Hello Michael, Komichi Wa (Good Afternoon or Hello)

I saw this postcard in a bookstore in Japan.   I thought it was very different…yet very Japanese, so I wanted to send it to you.   My last trip was to Taipei…not SFO.  Oh well…maybe next time.   It’s a beautiful day today.   I may have the day off.   I’m off from some adventure.   See you soon.   Jaa Mata, STEVENThat EASTER-time feeling is coming soon.   I guess mom will likely be buying Easter baskets for the girls.  I’ll feel like coloring eggs soon.  It’s therapeutic and gets me in-touch with my creative side.

There is a song that is playing lately called THE LIVING YEARS by Mike and the Mechanics:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUdiQWxps5E There’s a line in the tune that makes me think of my Dad.   The beginning of the song includes the following lyrics:Every generation
Blames the one before
And all of their frustrations
Come beating on your door
I know that I'm a prisoner
To all my Father held so dear
I know that I'm a hostage
To all his hopes and fears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years...

Luckily, I did tell my dad a lot of good things during his living years.
PHOTO:  VIEW OF DELFT by Vermeer

Finally, he noticed tacked on the door an enormous reproduction of Vermeer’s VIEW OF DELFT. 
“The first time I saw that I cried.”
--The Pleasure Seeker
by Jose Luis De Vilallonga

 

...And I Feel Fine

Only when you recognize your mistakes will you be able to make the corrections necessary to put yourself on the right path.
-Jim Rogers
A GIFT TO MY CHILDREN

Steven mailed a postcard from Honolulu yesterday (March 7, 1989) and I received it today.   It depicted a young gal enjoying the breathtaking side by side leaps performed by Seal Life Park’s false killer whale (rather cute).Steven A Antol wrote:
March 7, 1989
Dear Michael,   Hi There.   I’m in Hawaii today, of course.   I was at the P.O. Box and received your cards.   Thanks.   I’m going to call you tonight to see how your interview went.   I had another trip to Seoul, KOREA.   I purchased a leather jacket.   I’ll show it to you when I come to SFO.
This card is a picture of the pilot whales of Sea Life Park.   This is where I used to play with my dolphins.   One of them is the father of the wolphin.   They’re called ‘false killer whales or “pilot” whales.
I called my family in Pittsburgh.   Everyone seems to be doing fine.   I’ll talk with you tonight.
Steven

March 12, 1989

My niece, Ashley came over for a visit and I had fun doing a photo shoot of her in the Islandia Townhomes Courtyard.   I lifted her and positioned her onto a tree (to make it look as though she climbed it).    That was the cutest photograph of the day.   I love it.   Ashley makes me feel good when she’s happy and in a good mood.   Sometimes she can be feisty and I attribute this to her zodiac sign, the bull-headed TAURUS.   Ugh…I hope she grows out of it.

I’m most excited about what will happen in the next couple of nights at the OAKLAND COLISEUM.   I am going to a concert with Jim from the Gym, his girlfriend Christine and Jim’s little brother.   We’re going to see R.E.M. (an American rock band from Athens, Georgia that formed in 1980).    One of the very first songs I loved by them sounds a bit county (from 1984) called DON’T GO BACK TO ROCKVILLE.

Now R.E.M. has some new, sensational songs that I really love that include POP SONG 89, ORANGE CRUSH, IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT (…AND I FEEL FINE),  THE ONE I LOVE and many others.   I know we will all have a great time.

I may have mentioned to Jim from the Gym about meeting a few new, fun people in Hawaii (especially Rhonda).   I’ve refrained from telling him about Steven.  I don’t know…I just don’t feel comfortable telling him about it for fear of his reaction.  He may not want to be friends with me anymore and I can’t have that happen.   I really like him.   Alas, he must suspect given the circumstances between Kelly and I.   Who knows what Christine says?   She has a bit of a mouth that can only be described ‘when it rains, it pours’.     I know Jim would like Steven though.  He is so polite and he likes music, too.Marc 13, 1989
Steven flew to Japan once again.  What a life!   He wrote another handwritten letter from his HOTEL LET’S NARITA hotel room.    I was thrilled that he ended this particular letter with LOVE, STEVEN.  Steven wrote:

March 11, 1989, JAPANHi Michael,
I’m sitting at home tonight.   In my room in Japan.  You’re January tape of songs is playing (I brought my tape player with me the last trip home.   I just finished eating dinner…Japanese noodles.   I just brewed some Japanese green tea.  Wow.   I think my eyes are going to slant pretty soon.  Ha-ha.

Today I returned from a one-night trip to Taipei, Taiwan.   I worked with a nice crew, so the trip was fun.   I returned from Honolulu with a real slight cold.   One of those 24-hour deals.   I gargled and took a few cold tablets.   I feel better today. When I got home from my Taipei trip today about 1PM I came home and took a nap.   I woke up to a HUGE earthquake!   I mean this job woke me right up,  it was WILD.   I’m on the 10th floor and the curtains and building were just going for it!   And it felt like it was so long…about 12-14 seconds.   I waited till it was through and then went back to sleep.   Talk about  wake up calls??!!!

I went to the gym this evening.   I did a light workout since my body strength was a little lacking.  I haven’t been there in one week.   Time sure does fly between these workouts.   I can’t let that happen too frequently…or I’ll be too skinny.

Two days ago I received your postcard dated Feb. 8th.  The man holding the baby.   I LOVED that one.   That’s definitely one of my favorites.  Thank you!   I wonder why it was lost in the mail for a while.  Oh well…I’m glad it found me.I’m good for two days beginning tomorrow.   That means I’ll probably have an inter-ASIA trip…probably SEOUL or MANILA.   My next block of 5 days doesn’t begin until the 16ht of March.

When I’m done writing this letter tonight I’m going to put together an exercise program for myself while I’m on the road, then study some Japanese language before I go to sleep. I’m enclosing a pad of matches from Taiwan.  I may have given you these already. 

I received your puppy card with the puppy having a tug-of-war with a sock.  How cute.   I love puppies. Goodnight Michael.  Looking forward to our next visit.
LOVE, Steven

March 14, 1989Jim from the Gym arrived with Christine and his brother.   I was a stone’s throw drive to the OAKLAND COLISEUM from my house.  I drove and it was a fabulous concert.  They have such thought provoking lyrics to their music.   The R.E.M. band knows how to give a fabulous concert.   I had forgotten how much I loved their song “STAND” also.   Clever lyrics as it reminds me to stop, stand and ponder where you are…in life: 

Stand in the place where you live
Now face north
Think about direction, wonder why you haven't
Now stand in the place where you work
Now face west
Think about the place where you live, wonder why you haven't before
If you are confused, check with the sun
Carry a compass to help you along
Your feet are going to be on the ground
Your head is there to move you around, so

Stand in the place where you liveNow face north
Think about direction, wonder why you haven't
Now stand in the place where you work
Now face west
Think about the place where you live, wonder why you haven't before

Your feet are going to be on the groundYour head is there to move you around

If wishes were trees, the trees would be fallingListen to reason, season is calling
Stand in the place where you live
Now face north
Think about direction, wonder why you haven't
Now stand in the place where you work
Now face west
Think about the place where you live, wonder why you haven't before
If wishes were trees, the trees would be falling
Listen to reason, reason is calling
Your feet are going to be on the ground
Your head is there to move you around

So stand, stand
Now face north
Think about direction, wonder why you haven't before
Now stand, stand
Now face west
Think about the place where you live, wonder why you haven't
Stand in the place where you live
Now face north
Think about direction, wonder why you haven't before
Now stand in the place where you work
Now face west
Think about the place where you live, wonder why you haven't before
Stand in the place where you are
Now face north
Stand in the place where you are
Now face west
Stand in the place where you are
Now face north
Stand in the place where you are
Now face west
So stand

It’s so hot and I’ve been wandering around here naked at times, luxuriating in my own sensuality and having all sorts of fantasies about you.
-Colin Channer
WAITING IN VAIN, a novel

Worthwhile Form of Writing

You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.
-Buddha

I love Thursday when I go to the school near Polk Street to inspire the 4thand 5th grades students to write via the THINK/WRITE Program in San Francisco.   I was one of the lucky selected business people via this program to visit a local public school one day a week.   I brought in a bunch of postcards and had each student spend time writing on the back of the postcard to ANYONE they choose.   Many of them chose to write to me.   I loved reading what they wrote.   I tried to encourage them to take the time to write postcards to friends and family, explaining that this is a unique and worthwhile form of writing.

Postcard from Steven Antol of THE GREAT BUDDHA of KAMAKURA in the time of Cherry BloomMichael,
I just laid down for a nap and four of your cards were slipped under the door.   I read them all and then took a rest.   The cards were great.  Thanks.

Today is my last day off of three.   I didn’t do much but workout, study and eat.   I’ve found a few little places I like to eat Japanese food.   Hey, that was a great short trip to SFO.   I’ll look forward to my next one.   Did I tell you the moment I arrived home to Japan from SFO I got a phone call that my cousin passed away?   I was sad, of course, but it’s ok now.   Any word on Peggy?  Ha-ha…That was a fun bar we went to.   We’ll have to do that again.  We’ll just skip the beer and pizza next time. Jaa Mata (See You Later),
STEVEN
PS-This is Buddha.  He’s the big man around this country.  They have beautiful shrines and statues honoring him.

March 5, 1989 I took a self-portrait of myself using my Polaroid camera.  I believe I was influenced by Don Johnson and his TV show, MIAMI VICE.   It seemed to look okay ‘at the time’.


I went to visit mom later and she was babysitting Ashley and Lauren.   Ashley and Lauren were playing horseback riding with a broomstick.   I couldn’t help myself and had to photograph them in playmate mode.   I figured I could use it as ransom or bribery one day.
 I received another postcard from Steven of the Suizenji Park.   The formal name is Jyojuen.  It is a purely Japanese style garden comprising a lake where clear crystal water constantly wells up from the bottom.  I keep writing to Steven because I cannot help myself.   I want to him to know that I am thinking of him.  I do miss his goodness and ‘happy about life’ energy.   He had sent me a Hotel Narita Kimono that I simply love.   It meant so much to me to realize that he’d taken the time to send that gift to me.  I like how he is comfortable with confiding in me (as I am with him). Steven wrote:

Dear Michael,  When you receive this I hope that you’ve also heard from UNITED AIRLINES.   I’m rooting for you buddy.   Best Wishes.   Today, I arrived back in Japan.   It was snowing so hard when I landed.   I could hardly believe it.   It’s pretty cold too.   All evening I rearranged my room to make it more “homey”.   Thanks for your two cards.   The pools and the large tree photograph were WONDERFUL.   I’m glad you like your Kimono.   I took a shower a little earlier.   I am wrapped up in my Kimono right now, too.   Hope to see you THIS month.
ALOHA,
STEVEN

I’m wondering if I will be lucky enough to see Steven again this month.   If not, it’s okay.   I have a lot to keep me busy.   Lauren and Ashley were having a tea-party in mom’s indoor patio area.   I got mom to join-in so that I could interrupt their tea-party for a group photo.   I really liked the way the photo turned out.


I have always appreciated his confiding in me and I hope our confidential talks are not ended.--THE PURE AND THE IMPURE by Colette

So Very Sexy

It would be a pity to let the memory of all this be lost.
--THE PURE AND THE IMPURE
by Colette

Here is the February 14th typewritten letter I sent to Paloma last week.   She has probably read it by now and I'm anxious to hear back from her about it.   I wrote the following:

February 14, 1989
HAPPY VALENTINE’s DAY!
TUESDAY NIGHT
Dear Paloma,
Very, Very sorry I haven’t written a decent letter in some time but “things” have been happening.   At least a postcard every now and again keeps you posted but I know it’s nothing like an in-depth letter to give you all of the complete “gossip and dirt” going on.   Well, let’s see…where do I begin?

Since relationships are the core interest these days…why don’t I start with the Kelly M story?  Remember her?   I met her on the day after Thanksgiving in 1987.   It’s funny I always seem to meet a significant gal on that day…at least for the last three years:

The day after Thanksgiving 1986:  Eileen GrabinskyThe day after Thanksgiving 1987: Kelly M The day after Thanksgiving 1988: Christine Arthur
PHOTO: Eileen Grabinsky and 'me'

Eileen may come back into my life.   Who knows?   We never really completed our relationship (sort of like US).   In fact, Eileen was an au pair in Hillsborough, CA when I met her and we would date off and on.   Then she went back to her fat high-school sweetheart named Dave.  When they broke up again she had the nerve to call me up.   Did she really think I’d be there with open arms?   Oh well, last time I saw her was at a night club in San Mateo last summer in 1987. Kelly’s story…on the other hand…gets kind of involved.   I am sure I told you part of the story already.   We ended our relationship in early November 1988.   Our relationship was pretty special and I know she’ll never forget me and will always have feelings for me.   I guess she was too young (23) to handle it.   She confronted me with the fact that she knew some guy that knew me (she never mentioned any names) and knew that I was going out (dating) a male friend of his!   Needless to say, I was dumbfounded.   I wanted names, places, events and even pictures (if there were any).   She wouldn’t give me any information.  
PHOTO:  Kelly and 'me'

She point blank asked me, “Are you bisexual?”
I denied it because I didn’t believe she could handle it.   Anyway, I was in love with her “ONLY” at the time, so no one else would matter (male or female).   Do you get the picture?   Oh well, I later learned from my friend ‘Jim from the Gym’ (who found out from Kelly’s friend, Chris) that Kelly learned this information about me one morning while at my house.   She had spent the night and began snooping and read some ‘old’ journals/diaries of mine which said ‘God knows what’.   Whatever I wrote 4 to 5 years ago is a complete different person from who I am now.   Anyway, she still (to this day) has not told me she read excerpts from my journals because she knows it was invasion of my privacy.  So, that’s the truth to the closure of our relationship.
As for Christine Arthur…Well, she goes to University of California, DAVIS.   We are a bit of a distance from one another.   She recently contacted me.   We are to soon meet at THE VORTEX (a club in Palo Alto) this coming Saturday night.   She has a sort of a Euro-Asian look. PHOTO:  Christine Arthur
More recently though…as you know I went to Hawaii with my friend/coworker, Laverne.   She’s black, a dear friend, divorced and nothing more.   While I was in Honolulu I met two key people that I was very attracted to.   Are you ready for this one?   Their names are Rhonda Rezendes (age 21) and Steven Antol (age 28).  I was walking with Laverne one evening on the crowded, tourist-filled Kalakaua Blvd.  in Waikiki when I made eye contact with Rhonda.   She is a beautiful blond with blue eyes (of course) who was visiting from San Diego.   She was living in Honolulu through the next 4 months.  Rhonda went to Honolulu with a girlfriend on vacation in September 1988 and some cruise ship offered her (and her girlfriend) a job if they moved to Honolulu.   They did it.   Now they’re homesick and plan to move back to San Diego.   The only question is if I am willing to go to San Diego.

Rhonda made it clear, “Northern California is TOO COLD for me.”PHOTO: Rhonda and 'me' “What a baby!” Anyway, Rhonda and I had a nice fling in Hawaii.    And on January 31, 1989 she flew into the SFO Airport (but not for me).   Her grandfather in Stockton was very ill, so she flew to see him.   Her father lives in Livermore.   I drove her to her dad’s house after I picked her up at SFO Airport.  She didn’t stay long but she did stay over one night and the next morning she accompanied me to work.   From there…she took a shuttle to the SFO Airport to go back to San Diego.

As for Steven Antol…Well, he and I met at a club called THE WAVE in Waikiki.   It all started out very innocently.   One thing led to another and you don’t need to know the details because I’m embarrassed to tell you.   It’s not every day I meet a guy that I’m attracted to and end up in a situation like that…believe me.   He’s of a masculine nature (meaning not feminine).  He is a flight attendant for United Airlines.   You may recall that I mentioned that I applied to work at United in a recent postcard.   He did make me see flight attendant work in a new light.   He gets to travel all over the place.   I really thought it appealing at this time in my life.   I hope they’ll hire me.   If they don’t I have other options.  PHOTO:  Steven Antol
Steven is based in Honolulu and speaks some Japanese, so he is living in Japan from most of February and March 1989.   He writes.   During a 5-day break he actually flew to SFO from Tokyo to see me (it only cost him $20 to do that, do you believe it?).    He stayed with me for a few days and I showed him around Northern California.  I like him.   It’s very different to have a close relationship with a man.   He and I have a lot in common too because he likes girls, too.  He always has.   Jeez, this must be an eye opener for you.   I know I had mentioned this to you before but I hadn’t experienced this in a long time.   If I don’t continue on an intimate level with Steven I know I’ve found a very sincere friend here.   This means a lot to me.

Oh well, that sums up the latest in terms of who I’ve been screwing around with…and stuff. Ha-ha. I’m enclosing some little things that I thought you might get a kick out of looking at.   I am still waiting on my perfume sample that I requested for you.   Thinking of you.
LOVE, 
MICHAEL
February 22, 1989

I am busy with my ELITE/MODELING  and TV/VIDEO classes.   There are two girls that I like there.   They both have such unusual names.   I sometimes wonder if their parents were from the hippie era of the early 1960’s to have given them such names.   One girl is named DUSTY NIPPER.   It sounds like a new star that was discovered in an outer orbit.    She lives in Pleasanton with her mother.   Her parents are divorced.   DUSTY is in my modeling class.   She is a very tall and beautiful brunette with light eyes.  She is only eighteen but she looks twenty-seven because of her height.   DUSTY reminds me of actress Vivian Leigh and/or Morgan Brittany.  She's the type that walks into a room and people notice.The other girl is named BLAKE BELL.   Her name sounds like a new musical instrument.  BLAKE is in my TV commercial class.   She is blond and has an English accent.   She has big round blue eyes.   I like her voice because of that proper British way of speaking.   She lives in the Concord area.   Both DUSTY and BLAKE are so very sexy.PHOTO:  August 1989:  BLAKE BELL and 'I' I have an interview with Pac Bell Directory for Yellow Page Telephone Sales coming up; however, the openings are far and few between.   I still have the Graduate School Program at USF to fall back on though.  I really would like to complete that program.  It would be a nice escape into a new career.  There are so many options in life. I received another postcard from JAPAN from Steven Antol dated February 27, 1989.  
Steven wrote: Hello Michael, I had the day off today.   I walked to a huge temple near my Hotel.   It’s just over 1000 years old, a very interesting place.   The plum blossoms have just started to bloom.   So beautiful.  That’s something I’ve always wanted to see. 

I received your cards and pictures of the trees and CHILLY WILLY.   Thank you.   That sure was a nice quick visit to San Francisco.  Just a few more days to your interview.   Best of luck.   I know that you’ll do well.   Talk w/you soon. Love, S

He felt like interrupting her to say, “Having had a Catholic education, I happened to be obsessed by sexy myself.”-THE PLEASURE SEEKER by Jose Luis De Vilallonga

Cold Plunge

When one is active, close to the hawk, pursuing, the pulse races, time goes faster; 
When one is still, waiting the pulse quietens, time is slow.
-J.A. Baker, THE PEREGRINE

I feel shivers of excitement.  It’s not like the shock of a quick dip into a cold plunge.   I simply know I love it when Steven calls me from Honolulu.  I feel angry when I am out bike riding and I miss his phone call.   Fortunately, we do get our bonus time of talk and then it’s over.  We have so much to say to one another.   I am still wary as I know we are merely in the midst of our introductory stage.   Let’s see where we stand in twelve months.In the meantime I’m involved with work at Pac Bell Directory.   I will soon be participating in a Think/Write program in San Francisco to inspire 4th and 5thgraders to write.   This will begin in March or April.   I’m excited about this because I know I would enjoy the rewards of teaching children. 

After Steven left from his visit to me I received a postcard that he mailed me from South Korea.  His travels made my life seem boring.   I also received two postcards from Soren Langelund in Denmark.  I feel like I shoud be an International Male.   It makes me want to order some new clothes from the International Male Catalog. Postcard from SHERATON WALKER HILL, Seoul, Korea

February 4, 1989 Hello Michael,
Today I flew into Honolulu for a one night stay.  I went to my mailbox and received your cards and tape.  Thanks again for the music.  I know I’m going to love hearing the songs.
Just yesterday morning I flew to Seoul, Korea.  It was freezing but I enjoyed the trip.
I’m going to get some sleep now.  I’m going to be up early for my trip back to Japan.  
Aloha, Steven
P.S.  This is the hotel I stayed at in Seoul.  I hope to see you in just two days.

Postcard from Soren Langelund of Denmark February 6, 1989 Dear Michael,

Thank you very much for the postcards.  It was lovely to hear from you so soon.   And yes, I knew that we will connect again.   And I would very much like to invite you out.   To be honest—I can hardly wait; however, I don’t think I’ll have a chance to get back to S.F. before the end of May.   While I was in the States last I received governmental approval for a program which will make it legal for a limited number of Danish Au-Pairs to enter the USA.   That is going to be “BIG BIZZ”…and it is occupying most of my time to get it together.   I really enjoyed your choice of cards. P.S.  This card from the early sixties depicts THE LITTLE MERMAID:  Guardian of Copenhagen.

Postcard from Soren LangelundFebruary 7, 1989
Dear Michael,
After writing to you last night, I felt a bit thirsty.   So I visited a few of Copenhagen’s “watering holes”.   …had a bad headache this morning and a bad cough.   I’d left my overcoat at some friends’ and I couldn’t get a taxi.   I walked home.   It wasn’t a pretty sight that greeted me in the mirror this morning. 
Anyway I feel find now and thought I would drop you a line along with the LITTLE MERMAID in her Winter costume.   During the Winter the sea normally freezes over ‘so we can all walk on water’.
Yours Always,
Soren

Steven wrote me again.   I love his handwritten letters.   LETTER from Steven A Anton dated February 14th and 15th on HOTEL LET’S NARITA, Japan stationery:
Feb. 15th—Japan 6:45AM
Feb. 14th–SFO 1:45PM
Hello Michael,
Good Morning.   It’s very early for me.   I never wake up this early but last night I was in bed at 8PM.  I had a long flight and my body was tired.

What a surprise.   I came home to 2 postcards, a letter and the package.   MAHALO for sending my shirt.   I really appreciate your help.   It’s a necessity.   You, my man, are so funny.   I loved the postcards.   But, as I read through your daily memories charts I found myself laughing out loud.   Some of the things were very funny.   And I found it very interesting.   Since we’re both attuned to our sensitive memories I found it fascinating to read your list of the thing that stuck with you.   I was surprised you remembered my stories of being an altar boy and my childhood friends.   A sex education expert at THE STUD just made me lose it.  I think that is hilarious.  Thanks for the entertainment. Well, thanks for the Valentine’s Day Card.   I received it yesterday on my Feb. 14th…perfect timing.   I had received no other cards for that day, so you are my official 1989 Valentine this year.   I will make a note of that so it lives in History!

I’m off today and then tomorrow I will go on a 2 day trip.   I’m sure it will be in ASIA somewhere. This morning I’m getting together with MASAKO, a girl I used to work with in the HNL at the airport.   She is now a flight attendant.   She’s on a layover here.   She’s going to take me to breakfast.

Today, I may call this other lady and begin Japanese lessons.  It depends on how I feel.   Oh, speaking of feeling.  Today I’m finally getting over a cold I had since the day I returned back from SFO.   I think those record low temps got a hold of me.   Lucky you were there to keep me warm—otherwise I would have gotten pneumonia.  Brrr…Is it still cold there? I’m going to work out today at the gym.   If I get dizzy or light-headed I’ll quit…otherwise I get to keep this body fit.

Take it easy.   Work hard and stay well.   Thanks for writing.   Hope to come to SFO on a trip soon. Love, Steven
P.S.  Sayonara Michael-SON, KI O TSUKETE NEI
Translation:  Bye Michael, Take Good Care.

February 14, 1989
Earlier this month I had mailed Paloma a postcard of the Forest Falls in the Sequoia National Park.  Today, Valentine’s Day, I mailed her a CALIFORNIA GIRLS postcard.   I decided to share my latest schedule.   Here’s what I wrote on the postcard:

2-14-89PALOMA,  On vacation I met a gal from Paris and learned AGDE was pronounced “OGD”.   I didn’t know that!   I thought it was called “OG-DEE”.  I knew if you didn’t like these CALIFORNIA GIRLS that Alexandre would—Ha-ha.  On Monday and Thursday nights I go to University of San Francisco from 7PM -9:30PM.   Than I have my TV-VIDEO class on Saturday from 9AM-12NOON (the last class will be on March 1, 1989).   And, of course, work at PAC BELL is still Monday-Friday from 8AM-4PM.  
On Thursdays I tutor 4th and 5thgraders from 10-11AM.    This is nice because I only work from 9AM-NOON on Thursday.   That’s fun. 

It’s great to get postcards from you.   I always put the most recent ones on my desk (at work) and everyone comes by to look at them.   A lot of people noticed the girl with the umbrella.  GREAT CARD!   Only 14 more days until February is over.   I just typed you a few words on my word processor a little while ago.   Have a HAPPY day.   Regards to Alexandre and Jonathan.
LOVE, Michael

The Feb. 14th word processor letter to Paloma was actually much longer.   I wrote more details about Steven, Rhonda and past relationships.   I will share that next week.   Meanwhile, here's another handwritten letter from Steven on HOTEL LET'S NARITA, Japanese stationery dated February 16, 1989:
Feb 16th, 7:02PM Narita, Japan; Feb 16th, 2:03AM SFO
Hello Michael,
This morning I received your postcard COIT TOWER in SFO.   What a beautiful sight.  I would love to see it only if you promise to keep me warm.

I went out for dinner and under my door they slipped a piece of mail to me.   Lo and Behold it was a card from you dated Feb. 10th.  It’s beautiful, the two lounge chairs and a large beach umbrella.   The sun looks warm and I know where we were.   That’s why we missed out on the picture.  Ha-ha.  Thanks for ALL of your mail.  It has really kept me company over here in JAPAN. Yesterday I started taking lessons (Japanese) with this woman.  She seems eager to teach me.  She used to be a teacher, so I’m sure she’ll be good.   Oops—forgot something.  MAHALO for the “jackets”.  I’ll be over to get one of those copied in Korea.   What a nice selection of jackets.  Thank you and I wish I could have them all.

OK, back to my story—Today I was supposed to work but they don’t have any trips for me.   I sat at the hotel and studied.   Then I spent 3 hours at the gym.   Did I tell you about the gym I go to in the Hotel?   It’s really nice.   Lots of new, high-tech machines.   In addition to the weights it has a massage machine and a wonderful sauna, whirlpool and cold plunge.  AAHH!   After my workout I sit in the whirlpool, then sauna and cold plunge.   I was the only one there today.  When I was in the hot tub I remember you telling me about the woman who said, “Let’s take a bath.”  (That was Judy.)
It was at that point when I thought “not a bad idea”.  


I couldn’t find YOU though.  Anyway, it was very relaxing and felt great.   Afterwards I went outside and again got some dinner.   I just finished eating and began writing this letter. Hey—you mentioned that you didn’t get your desired position in L.A.  Sorry –even if someone is more qualified.  Of course, as always Michael, I believe that there is a good reason that those things happen. Probably, there is something better in store for you.   Hang in there buddy.  You can have just about anything you want.   Recheck your interests and try again.  You’ll be FINE.

Hey—I just thought of something.  You surprised me a while back, saying that you were already checking out television advertising opportunities.   You didn’t tell me that Mr. Michael.  Sorry you got discouraged but I do hope that you continue to try.   I think that you would be great. 
And yes, my friends’ name is LEILANI PACHECKO.   I don’t have her home phone number but this is the work number she gave me.  Go ahead and call her.  Talk with her.   She’s been a good friend of mine even though I haven’t seen her for a while.  Tell her we’re good friends (Ha-ha) and that I told you to call.  I don’t know what she can do but if she can help…that would be great.   Hey, I forgot to write her tel# 415-394-9200.  Let me know if you talk with her. That’s about it over on this side of the world, Michael.   I’m enclosing a little Japanese gift.   Someone from the INFORMATION Center at the train station gave it to me.  I want to pass it on to you.  It’s called “ORIGAMI”.  It’s a Japanese craftwork with paper; This particular one is a crane which symbolizes good luck.  Take it out of the bag and hang it up somewhere.   That can also be me.   The little bird who will always want to fly and see you.
Keep exercising and bicycling.   It’s good for you.
Love, Steven
Postcard of a cyclist dated Feb. 17th from Steven A Antol:

Dear Michael, Hey—How did you like that wake-up call this morning?

I’ve just been walking around this little shopping center.   Of course I was in LONGS DRUGS.   I thought of you…went next door to a card shop and picked up this card.   You may have this already but now you have an autographed one.  I hope that you’re enjoying your day.  I swam in my pool today…did a lot of running around – bank, post office, etc.  I’m going to have dinner now with two of my great friends.  Of course I’ll think of you and include you in conversation.  Keep smiling Buddy…Hope to see you soon. 
Aloha, S

A Handwritten letter on Best Western MILFORD PLAZA Hotel, 270 W. 46thStreet, New York, NY letterhead dated Feb. 18, 1989:Feb, 18, 1989, 1:00AM
Hi Michael,
I’m just about ready to sleep.   I’ll write you a few notes before I retire.   I mailed you a postcard earlier this afternoon.   You were on my mind quite often today.   I wish I had a few more days so I could stop by and visit for a few.

I finished dinner w/my friends and stopped at the bar for one drink.   Then I drove home to Kailua.   I got home around 11:20PM (1:20AM your time).  I was tempted to call you but I didn’t want to wake you if you were sleeping.   I’ll call you tomorrow (Saturday).   I hope I catch you at home…or maybe you’ll catch me…one way or the other we’ll talk. I did a lot of my packing of the things I needed to take back to Japan with me.   Actually, I’ve had a productive evening.   Tomorrow I’ll finish taking care of things and then Sunday morning I’m off to Japan.  Have a nice day my friend.
Love, Steven

February 20, 1989, Monday Today I had a much needed holiday from work.    
I received a call from Sue Miller who said, “You know, Bonnie is here!”
“Really?”
“Yes, what are you doing?”
“I’m just home doing stuff around the house.   You two must come over.”
“Okay, we’ll come in about an hour.”

I was excited to see Sue and Bonni.   Our paths went back to our 9th grade days of Typewriting class, World History and just plain hanging out together at lunch time or in the hallways at Alameda High School.  They were always my best-friends.   I remember when I used to like Bonni.   We were an item.   Then she fell for someone else.  I then fell for Sue but she had a crush on another guy.   When Sue was ripe for me I had a crush on another girl.   Wonders never cease.   There is so much that did and almost ‘could have’ happened.   One never knows how the tables will turn.   It makes life an unexpected adventure.  


When Sue left my house today after a visit to Central Alameda (Park Street) Bonni remained with me.   She seemed shy and forlorn.   It was as if much had happened to her while she was in New York.   I asked about her daughter, Crystal Joy.“I’m trying to get her back,” Bonni said.
It seemed a troubling topic as Bonni had the child by a true Italian misfit guy.   His parents have taken Bonni’s daughter and she’s amidst trying to reckon with getting her daughter back.   It cannot be an easy scenario.    She looked at me today and I felt that she needed me.  She wanted to be with me.  

It’s hard to just toss the cards of what is currently going on with me (work, USF Graduate School, modeling classes, teaching—not to mention the yearnings I feel for Steven and Rhonda).

After the visit with Bonni and Sue I felt a need to visit mom, so I went over to her place to spend time with her before she left for work.  
An ALOHA FROM HAWAII Postcard from Steven Antol postmarked Feb, 21, 1989:Dear Michael,
This is how I felt at the beach today.   It was great.   I swam a lot, enjoyed the sunshine and drank cokes.   This evening I spoke with you.  That was just about an hour ago.  I enjoyed the conversation.  Tomorrow morning I leave on the 8:45AM flight to Narita, Japan.  I hope the next flight I have will take me to SFO.  Great news about the UNITED Interview.   I’m wishing you the best.  I’m sure all of the interviews will go well.  Your “SPONGE” story at Thrifty’s was too much.

Ha-ha….Love, S

When Steven mentioned the “SPONGE” story I had almost forgotten it.   I had told him about my rampant affair with Rachelle Davies and how we both went into a THRIFTY’s Drug Store and she made me go in to buy a sponge.   A foam sponge is inserted into Rachelle’s vagina to prevent pregnancy.   I didn’t even know about this form of birth control until Rachelle educated me.  It was like that scene from the movie SUMMER OF 42 when that young teen had to buy condoms.  I had to literally ask for a "SPONGE".   They were held behind the counter.  Steven simply thought it was so funny because I was so nervous to be buying such an item.   The elderly lady sales clerk simply looked me over thinking, “Aha, I get it.”   I’m sure that’s what she was thinking.  I still think Rachelle should have gone in to purchase that "SPONGE".   How embarrassing was that?   I guess at second thought it was the least I could do."I was only calling to find out if everything went all right."What a BITCH she was.   Generous, like all the rest.   Wiping the slate clean, like a lady.   Altruistic and prissy. -The Pleasure Seeker by Jose Luis De Vilallonga
 
 
 
 
 
 

I'm Not Lonely

Examining one’s mind consisted of asking three simple questions on a regular basis:
1.     Am I angry?
2.     Am I sad?
3.     On a scale of 1 to 10, how do I feel?
Investigating the answers was the beginning of changing one’s experience, and of eventually attaining peace-of-mind.
--Paul Huljich
BETRAYAL of Love and Freedom, a novel
(based on a little truth)

Diary Notes early February 1989…Steven was still visiting and he was feeling so cold while in the Bay Area.  
“It must be that Hawaiian heat that you’re so used to,” I decided to say.
I let him wear my violet fleece jacket to keep warm.  
“You look good in that color; it accentuates your eyes, too.”
Steven smiled.
PHOTO:  Steven Antol, wearing my violet fleece jacket

Steven A Antol is actually a year younger than I (his middle name is Andrew).  
I asked him, "Are you familiar with the Children's book, NOBODY LISTENS TO ANDREW?""No."
"You must read it.  It's one of my favorite children books."Steven was born on November 20, 1960.   He has three brothers (Bernard Jr., Kenneth and Ronald) and a sister (named Lee Ann).    He is very close to his family and always seems so happy.  I like that.I found a 1987 B&W postcard from a Christian Dior ‘Eau Sauvage’ men's cologne ad that is dated 1987.   The card depicts a male model that reminds me so much of Steven.   I plan to hold on to this card for a long while and send it to him when the time feels right.   When I saw it I thought, “That’s Steven!”  I had to purchase it.  It also seems to depict his emotions 'at times'. Steven left my house on the early morning of February 8, 1989.   He woke me to ask for a pen.   He left me a Valentine Card on my dining table.   I found this to be quite touching.   On the outside of the RED envelope he wrote:

P.S.  This is the pen I had to wake you up for!  I only had a red one sitting in the spare room—as I write this you are taking a nap…Sweet dreams.Inside the card, Steven wrote:
Dear Michael—

Hey Dude…I had a very nice time visiting you in San Francisco.   Thanks for picking me up at the Airport and for letting me stay at your place.   I had a good rest. Now it’s back to Japan, back to my work, my studies, my noodles and rice.   I’ll keep in touch through my travels and hoping you’ll do the same.  If you don’t—well, the next time it will be “No more Mr. Nice Guy _____,  _______,  ____,  ______, _______.”   (Fill in the blanks…Nah, just joking…
Thanks for all the FUN.   Enjoy your Valentine’s Day Buddy.
Aloha and Sayonara, 
Steven

I read the card a few times.   I was happy I took a photo of him while he was shaving last night, too.   I liked the reflections of him from the mirror.

PHOTO:  Steven Andrew Antol, shaving I had already felt a slight emptiness after Steven departed.   I felt a need to sit outside in my small backyard and write him another letter, so I did.A few days letter I had another ecstatic moment—after my work day-- when I found another letter from him in my mailbox.   He included his United Airlines Boarding Pass stub – ANTOL/S From San Francisco To Tokyo/Narita Flight 53, 8FEB 100P.   Steven wrote on HOWARD JOHNSON Hotel stationery this time:

 Feb 09 – in SFOFeb 10 –in JAPAN Dear Michael…
Hoping this note finds you well, in good spirits and rested.   I arrived yesterday evening about 6pm.   My flight was great.   There were a lot of seats open and I occupied a row of 4 seats in the middle.   I slept a lot of the way—stretched out, comfortably wrapped w/blankets and 4 pillows for my head.

During the flight I listened to my music, ate, wrote in my journal and wrote a letter to my brother and studied my Japanese, of course.   I guess I could say that I had a productive flight. I woke up this morning and had some breakfast and then it was off to the gym.   I had a nice workout.  I would have stayed longer but I was hungry.

Today I have the day off.   Tomorrow morning I should have an assignment.   It will be interesting to see where I’m off to next. Thanks again for the nice time at your place.   I really enjoyed the quick visit.   I kind of wish it was a bit longer…   I’ll wait till it gets WARMER until I stay longer.  Ha-Ha.   It was just as cold here in Japan today as it was in SFO…Brrr.

Thanks for the picture of old SFO.   I have it here with me at my desk with your picture.   And THANK YOU again for those journals.  You have inspired me to keep on writing.   I still can’t get over that you are the only person other than myself who had kept a journal.   I’ll be happy to see one day when you have your book completed.   That would really be a great accomplishment.   Keep at it.   Don’t give up, Michael.   I do want an autographed copy…you know?  Ha-ha. Well again—that’s all I have for now.   I hope you received the other card I mailed to you.   I was sneaky and mailed it at the box across the street from where we had that excellent breakfast.   Yummy.   I’d love to go there again.   I’d say we really worked up an appetite.  J

Take Care Buddy.   I’ll try and keep in touch each chance I get. ALOHA, Steven
P.S.   This is written in Japan. 
If I fly to the mainland I’ll mail it from there.   Bye.

I feel alone but I’m not lonely.   I feel Steven thinking of me as I am constantly thinking of him now.Being alone is NOT the same as being lonely. -Garth Stein, THE ART OF RACING IN THE RAIN, a novel
 
 

I Wasn't Sure

He went to a meditation room to order his thoughts.  His meditation started from memory that had assailed him with unusual force.  In his vision he saw a bare room and a piano.   Through the room fell the cool, blithe light of forenoon, and at the door of the room appeared a handsome, friendly man.
-HERMAN HESSE
The Glass Bead Game, a novel,
Chapter:  Magister Ludi

FEBRUARY 1, 1989 Diary Notes… I realized that January had swiftly passed and I chose to browse my HOUSE BOOK that Lottie gifted me.   There are so many empty pages.   I guess I simply don’t have many visitors.   I found a magazine clipping of a man dressed in white opening a door that led to the sky (the unknown).   I could relate to this sighting.   I immediately clipped it and pasted it to the last page of my HOUSE BOOK.

On January 29th I went to visit mom and she was babysitting my niece, Holly.   I found a pair of eyeglasses and put them on Holly for fun.   She was agreeable for the unique photo opportunity.  Ha-ha

I also took a photo of Holly on a rocking chair that was handed down from my mom to John and Sherri.   This rocking chair was always a part of my life when I was a kid.   I wonder if it will be handed down to Holly or Ashley’s kids.   I remember trying to sit in it.   It’s not an easy fit anymore.  Ha-ha.

Paloma is still successful in sending the most unique, mind-blowing postcards.   I simply adore them. 

In this postcard of the ‘girl with the umbrella opening’, Paloma wrote:
AGDE, France, le 28/01/89 Dear Michael,

Thanks for your cards and letter.   So…Hawaii again, huh?  Tough life!   Who did you go there with?   The guy on the postcard looks OK, you look way better (this one will cost you 3 bucks).
…and I just LOVE that bathing suit!
I really can relate to your car problem.   Imagine that…my car broke down yesterday in the middle of the street on my way to school.   I just love that.   I was with a girlfriend and I pushed it for a few minutes.   Then a nice guy stopped and pushed and it started.   Now it works but I don’t know what happened.   The thing is now I’m worried when I drive it!
I found this other Paloma postcard from a couple of months ago with the minimalism look of black and a woman’s lips that looked a lot like Ann-Margret.   Paloma wrote: Dear Michael,

Thank you for your letters, your pictures and the ads (the perfumes didn’t get here alive!).   The envelope smelled really good though.   I love what you call “gossip and dirt”.   It’s just like if I was watching DISNEY.   I can’t wait for the next show!
I think Kelly is a bad, bad girl.   She shouldn’t invade your privacy!   By the way, what did you write about me in your journal?  Ah...Ah…Ah…better be careful with you.   I bet you never FORGET anything with your writings! 
…Talking about having a close relationship with a man.   I’m sure it’s different.   I had a lot of gay friends in SF, especially my very good friend Brad Rebullosa who just called me about a month ago.   He now lives in L.A. (I think).  Maybe at the beginning it might be fun to live with someone ‘like you’ (same-sex)….but after (?).
PHOTO:  Paloma with Brad Rebullosa
 When I re-read this card I felt a bit of a jolt because after Steven came to visit me it was great fun; however, when he left I felt emptiness and wondered if it was ‘the end’.   I wasn’t sure.

February 5, 1989I received a postcard and a letter from Steven dated February 3, 1989 today, February 5th.

The postcard was postmarked Honolulu and it was a postcard from the WESTIN PHILLIPPINE PLAZA Hotel in Manila.   Steven wrote:

Dear Michael, This postcard was in the HOTEL where I stayed in the Philippines.   Just outside my window, down ten floors was this beautiful pool.

I’m writing this in Japan.   I’ll mail it from Honolulu.   Let’s see who gets there first.   The postcard or myself (?).
…Looking forward to visiting with you.   Japan is pretty cold today.   I’ve been thinking about the beach back home.Sayonara, Steven


In the letter dated February 3, 1989, Steven wrote:Dear Michael,

How you doing there buddy?   I’ll probably get to California before this does—but that’s ok.   It’s always nice to receive mail.  My first 5 days in Japan were quite interesting.   I flew to Manila, Seoul, Korea and then to Honolulu where I sit at the moment.   It’s kind of funny.   I have a hotel room but I live here…
Tomorrow morning I’ll work the flight back to Japan, arrive around noon.   Then I’ll either take the 5:00PM or 7:00PM to San Fran.   I’ll probably call you at work.

I’ll take the new tape you made me on the plane so that I can listen to it on the trip. I hope that you’re enjoying your classes at school.   I’m happy that once again I am studying (my Japanese language).   It’s tough.

I’m glad that you enjoyed the photo and the matches.   That’s probably the nicest picture I’ve ever taken of myself.   I thought you may like it…Hey—I thought I was going to get another picture of you.  Ha-ha It’s getting late and I’ll need to rest for my Japan flight tomorrow.   Again, thanks for the mail and I hope we’re having a nice time together in SFO…
Love,
Steven

PHOTO:  Steven Antol, February 6, 1989, wearing my jacket at my pad in Alameda, CA Well, Steven arrived on February 6th and I was so happy to see him.   We did have a nice time together.   I really didn’t want it to end.   I took him to Berkeley and we saw a few sights in San Francisco but I toured him around Alameda a lot, too.   I wanted to show him where I went to high-school and the neighborhoods.   I introduced him to my mom and she was as cordial as could be.   I simply told mom that we met in Hawaii and that he’s a flight attendant.   I didn’t feel it necessary to go into any intimate detail about our feelings for one another.   After all, we were still in our introductory stage.  I have worries of revealing my man-to-man feelings to my mother; however, I am sure she knows.While Steven was visiting I received another beautiful Black and White Postcard from Paloma.   I had forgotten that I mentioned to Paloma that I was thinking of applying for a job as a flight attendant.   She mentioned it in her postcard.   It’s true.   I was in envy of Steven’s life of travel and I wished I could do the same.   Steven was also encouraging about it.  My Spanish is limited.   Paloma knows I speak fluent French, so I think I have a good chance.   Ha-ha  When I wrote I felt free to hint to Paloma about Steven and Rhonda but I never offered as much detail as I could have because I didn't know if these relationships would be short-lived...or not.


Paloma wrote:
Hello Michael,Thanks for your cards.   I think you’ve had a great idea to apply as a flight attendant.   I hope you’ll get the job.   I’d like to do that. 

Jonathan is OK now, thank you.   I’m always worried though.So, what’s the meaning of that HELP ME RHONDA?  

I’m sorry you can’t watch the video tape I sent you.   That’s too bad.   I won’t be able to send you French videos and stuff.  

I already have the DIVA perfume sample.  Thank you.   UNGARO is a French Designer but you can send it anyway if you don’t know what to do with it.   I’ll trade it.  Once more…thank you for looking around for samples for me.   I have to go now.   I’ll write again soon.  Write me.   Miss you.
Love, Paloma
Send me a picture of your mom’s dolls …or describe.

I told Steven about Paloma, explaining how much she meant to me.   He loved that I had such a relationship.   He shared more stories about the classmates he has known since kindergarten that are still very good friends to him.   I liked knowing this.   It clearly told me that he doesn’t sever relationships so easily.   What would this mean for ‘us’?   Well, I was happy he was still here and knew he wouldn’t be leaving until February 8th…so I’m enjoying his company very much.

I spent some time browsing on my word processor.  I re-read the letter I wrote to Paloma last month using my Pac Bell Directory THE SKY'S THE LIMIT stationery.  I also recalled the two postcards I sent her.   I refrained from details about Rhonda and Steven but I think I will give her some scoop on it as I feel things begin to actually happen (if the relationships tend to have substance):


January 9, 1989
7:02PM, Monday Night

Dear Paloma: Hi Dear, How are you?   I am in a bit of a downer mood right now because I should be at the GYM right now and my car isn’t starting.  I thought it was just because of the freezing cold weather we’ve been having because it had been giving me trouble in that it wouldn’t start-up right away.   I just plain got tired of trying.   Now it’s no major problem as far as work is concerned because I take an Express bus to San Francisco now.   I’m just not happy about it, especially since I have my third TV class on Wednesday night (they teach me how to be in front of a camera+).   I like to drive in to SF on Wednesday because we don’t get out of this class until 9PM.   Boo-hoo.  What do I do?   Oh well, LIFE GOES ON and I won’t dwell on it.   I just hate the hassle of cars sometimes.  You just can’t always live with ‘em and you can’t really live without ‘em (just like WOMEN).  Ha-ha.

Okay, here’s the scoop on how I acquired the perfume samples.   And you are right.   They aren’t that easy to come by.   Five of the ones I got you came in that silver container.   It was a promotional gift being sold at EMPORIUM over the holidays, so knowing that you collect them I just had to get it for you.   The small WHITE LINEN/Estee Lauder sample was included in a gift set that I got for my mom for Christmas.   She likes WHITE LINEN.   Anyway, my mom doesn’t collect them, so I asked her if I could have the little sample to send to you.She said, “Okay.” You know, the violin sample story.   I sent in the coupon with the buck and they sent it to me.   The little Oscar de la Renta sample was on display at Emporium in Pleasanton.   It was really busy that day and it accidentally slipped into my pocket.   The KNOWING sample (also by Estee Lauder) was given to me by I. MAGNIN Department Store.   You see, I got a mailing that invited me to go to the store for my free sample (while supplies last).   And so, the next day after work I went to I. MAGNIN to get the KNOWING sample.   I will check out my mail for future giveaways when it comes to perfumes now.   Let’s see…what else did I send you?   I guess that was it, huh?  

Oh well, here are two more that accidentally slipped into my pocked at the new NORDSTROM Department store in SF (Nina Ricci and Perry Ellis).   I saw the Catherine Deneuve sample.   It’s also at NORDSTROM but when I asked the clerk for one of them.
The clerk answered, “I’m sorry.   We were only giving them away when the store first opened.”

Okay, you can kill me now.   The Catherine Deneuve sample was available but I would have had to pay $95.00 to get it because it was packaged with spray, powder, etc.   I haven’t given up on it.   I am still working on that one for you.   I also saw CHER’s UNINHIBITED perfume at MACY’s but I didn’t ask for a sample.   I doubt if they’ll give the kind you want so easily.   One day I’ll have to go and sweet talk one or two of the perfume sales girls to see what I can get out of them.   So, for now I hope these will do.   I can’t believe you have so many already!  This is “FANTASTICO”. Thanks for the new postcards!  I did recognize that one of you on the beach.  And as a matter of fact I was just thinking about that the other day.  

Do you remember that time one summer you and I walked out of SAFEWAY over here and some guy said, “I bet you two are really SOMETHING on the beach!” Well, I was over at SAFEWAY last week and I had a flashback to that incident.   And now when I got that postcard from you it really brought back memories of you on the beach in Santa Cruz.  Be serious though, you didn’t look that good.  Ha-ha, only kidding.  Please translate:  On se laisse haler!

You never fail on the greatest looking postcards.   And NO, you never sent me that one of AGDE.  I envy you.   It looks so tranquil and warm there. I don’t know what the PAL/SECAM system is (?).   Can that be translated?   All I know is that my VCR uses VHS tapes.   That’s nice of you to tape a show for me.   I trust your taste.   I would like to see some good French TV commercials.   I bet those would be interesting to see.   If your VCR uses VHS tapes maybe I can tape a few good TV movies for you.   Would you like that?   I’m not sure what else plays there for me to ask you what I’d like to see…but I’m sure you’ll find something that I’d find entertaining.  You know me.   What else would I like from France?   I’d say anything fashionable, trendy that you know for a fact is hard to find in the USA.   That would be nice.   I could easily send you the cash.   Just name the price.  Do you know where to find neat looking French porcelain dolls?   No…not for me (unless they’re life size and have ALL the necessary body parts)…my mom collects porcelain dolls now.   I’d like to get one or two for her from France.   Let me know what you can find and how much.   Those dolls run about $5- to $150 here.   That’s how much I’d be willing to send unless you find a “must get” doll.   I will pay more as I do trust your judgment (believe it or not).

That’s one thing about you.   You sure are so noticeable just because you know how to be different in what you wear.   You are a definite FASHIONABLE BEAUTY  (Okay, don’t let it go to your head now). Oh yes…I did get the French bill you sent me.  Thank you.   It wasn’t necessary.   It brought me back to when I was there visiting you in 1985.  I sure would like to visit again.  It’d be neat to meet Jonathan and Alexandre.

 I haven’t seen BEETLEJUICE.   It’s not my favorite type of movies either.   Lately, I’ve seen CLEAN AND SOBER, starring Michael Keaton; EVERYBODY’S ALL AMERICAN, starring Jessica Lange and Dennis Quaid; TEQUILA SUNRISE, starring Mel Gibson, Kurt Russell and Michelle Pfeiffer, BURNING SECRET, starring Faye Dunaway; WORKING GIRL, starring Harrison Ford, Sigourney Weaver and Melanie Griffith.   I also saw FRANTIC on video, starring Harrison Ford (which was filmed in Paris and directed by Roman Polanski.   Did you see any of these?   I sort of saw THREE MEN AND A BABY but it was during Christmas Day and I couldn’t be attentive to the storyline with my nieces yelling and stuff (so I didn’t really see it).  I had heard it was a remake from some French film though.   I would imagine the French version to be better. So, “that girl” is a recovering alcoholic, huh?   Why aren’t I surprised?  How old is she now?   I wonder if she looks good.   You should tell her to give me a call.  Ha-ha.   I don’t mean it ‘in that way’ though.   I’d like to be her friend if she’s willing.   It’s always good to make friends that are NOT relying on alcohol or drugs for a good time.   I mean, a movie or a bite-to-eat or just plain good conversation is always good.

I’m supposed to register at USF on January 19th.   I’ve also recently applied for a new job (one opening in SF and two in LA).   If I get offered one in LA I may very well take it.   I’d hate to register for a class at USF and have to drop out to go to LA though.   I was going to take a course in Counseling.   I still haven’t ruled out my modeling/acting debut.  Ha-ha.  I shall keep you informed.   I have 7 more classes to complete at the ELITE MODELING/TV place in SF.   Right now I am being trained on how to be more comfortable in front of a video camera (auditioning for TV commercials for example).   It’s a little bit nerve-racking.   Again…time will tell. I just took a break to take a picture of myself for you with my POLAROID camera.   I am lounging around in my robe, depressed because my car didn’t start.   I’ve resorted to writing you this letter instead (Ha-ha).   I probably look kind of pale but I am flying to Hawaii on Thursday morning (January 12, 1989).  Hurrah.   I hope I get a little color.   I know you probably want me to shut up about Hawaii, right?

I went to Mom’s for Christmas.   My brothers appeared with their wives and their daughters.   Yes, that’d be neat for Jonathan to play with Ashley, Lauren, Holly and Leigh.   They are HOT items. HAPPY BIRTHDAY.   I know it is early January.   I just forget the day (2nd, 3rd or 5th…3rd I bet!).   Oh well, HAPPY NEW YEAR too.
Missing You, Michael J Armijo

January 9, 1989   HI Paloma,
Neat card, huh?   It caught my eye. 

I was just finishing a letter to you on my word processor.   Then I realized I forgot to include something after I already sealed it.   I got this mail insert about CHER’s new perfume.   I thought you’d like to see it.   You can even smell it because if you unleash the flap it’ll give you an idea of the fragrance.   I’ll work on getting a sample for you.   And from now on…when I receive mail inserts like this I’ll send them to you to get your opinion.   Who knows?   Something might come along that you JUST HAVE TO HAVE.   When that happens please let me know!  I have no problem in purchasing anything you really want.   Don’t worry about paying me back.   After all…you are going to let me boarder with you when I come to visit.   So if you really want a certain product let me know.   In the meantime, I’ll continue seeking bottled miniature perfume samples (hard as they are to come by).  CHER sort of resembles you here, so I thought you’d like the ad. Oh well…I’m going to turn on the TV and curl up (trying NOT to think about my car that won’t start-up).   Thinking of You.
Regards to Alexandre and Jonathan.
Love,
Michael Joe Armijo

Postcard mailed from Honolulu, January 13, ,1989 to Paloma:
Hi Paloma, …saw this postcard and then immediately envisioned YOU in the same stance, looking ever-so-much MORE eye-catching!

It rained here but it’s still warm and OK.  Hope I get some color. THINKING OF YOU.  Next stop…South of France…I wish.

Love, Michael
  January 29, 1989  POSTCARD of THE BAY, Berkeley Marriott

 Paloma, I received your tape yesterday but it did not show on my VCR at all.   The volume came out but it seemed to be at a very high speed.   I was so excited when I received it though.   Nice though…sweetie.

I should receive a perfume sample called DIVA by Emanuel Ungaro (ever hear of it?) any day now.   Expect it soon.   There was a special Neiman-Marcus giveaway and I requested one. Keep smiling and I’ll be in-touch.   Hawaii was GREAT!   I had the best time.  More Later.  Love, Michael J Armijo
“He pressed both hands against his heart that was at long last torn, and shut his lips.   For a man has the right to murmur audibly “Paloma”, “Kelly” or "Rhonda" and to kiss in public the portrait of a lady, but he must stifle the names of “Christopher”, “Chad” or “Steven”.
--THE PURE AND THE IMPURE by COLETTE
 
 
 
 
 
 

So Many Emotions

"I believe ONE thing.   I believe we should always say ‘I LOVE YOU’ to the people we love.”
-MR. NOBODY,
a 2009 film starring Jared Leto

Besides the recent letter from Steven Antol dated January 22, 1989, the postcards from Paloma dated the same day and the recent departure of Johnny, Aaron and Jeff it was still a day and night of Sunday fun.I took a nice, long bike ride in and around Harbor Bay Island and South Shore beach followed by a random visit to mom’s house.   Mom was busy paying bills and I took a photo of her at the edge of her dining table as she was in expert organized-mode of signing checks.

PHOTO:  Mom - Virginia Marie Lucero-Armijo “I’m so glad my guests are gone,” I announced to mom, “I felt like I had to be ON and play tour guide.   And now I have to meet Lottie today in The City.”“I don’t know why you get yourself into all of these things.”
“I know…at the time I plan them it’s fun; but when it’s time for the people to come I wish I could just ride my bike and hang-out with you over a movie.”
“I know!”  Mom agreed.

When I returned home I received a phone call from Steven Antol from Hawaii.  I was pleasantly surprised.   I had been taking a nap but it was a nice way to wake up.  We had a great talk by phone.   I could tell that we both couldn’t wait to see one another again.   I guess it remains to be seen.PHOTO:  Lottie McHenry on Folsom Street, SF On this Sunday, January 22, 1989, I drove in to San Francisco to meet Lottie who was visiting from Sacramento.   I took a cool pic of her amidst a postcard stand in San Francisco.
 
We meandered around the City and had a fun day.  It was early evening and we ended up on Folsom Street at Hamburger Mary’s.   It was such a trip.   We met such interesting people.   I had my Polaroid camera, so I was able to document the people we met through images (just like formulating a file like photojournalist Billy Kwan—played by actress Linda Hunt—in the 1982 film THE YEAR OF LIVING DANGEROUSLY). I got a solo shot of Lottie in happiness mode.

I got a photo of ‘Lottie and I’ after a cocktail or two.  Lottie was in accelerated happy mode.  We were both feeling ultimate happiness energy.   There was such an intensity of good time fun when I was with Lottie.

There was this one guy at the bar with long hair who had a reptile pet named ONYX.  Lottie couldn’t get over it.   We continued to joke about running into a reptile.    Lottie referred to him as The Reptile Man.  It was just too hilarious."Who brings a reptile to a bar?" I asked.  Lottie rolled her eyes and didn't have to say 'whatever goes' in order to make me laugh hysterically.  Lottie did say, "Whatever floats one's boat."
 PHOTO:  The Reptile Man and ONYX

Lottie spoke to 'The Reptile Man', "You know...if you don't meet someone at the bar you always have your reptile!" 
More laughter...There was also a mother and daughter team at Hamburger Mary’s.   I thought the mother resembled CHER.   The daughter looked outright gorgeous and I wanted her telephone number; however, how does one get a phone number of a girl while her mother is seated right next to her.   I actually got her number (793-8569).   It's amazing how brave I get after a cocktail. The daughters’ name was JOYCE and she wrote her telephone number on back of the Polaroid photo I had taken of them.   I know I tried calling JOYCE a few times but it seemed to go nowhere.   She wasn’t too attentive at returning my calls.  Besides, I had Steven and Rhonda 'on my plate'.  I needed to finish my current serving.

Lottie and I also met a man in the bar (much older than I) but interesting because he was from Denmark.   His name was Soren Langelund.   He was visiting San Francisco and spearheaded an organization that helped exchange students in Europe and America.   We exchanged addresses and he promised to write to me.   I believe he took a fancy to me but I didn’t really have an interest ‘in that way’.   I was simply intrigued by his intelligence and the business that he ran.    I managed to get a photo of Soren while hugging Lottie.   I may have been wrong about him but he kept giving me that hypnotic eye look.PHOTO:  Soren Langelund and Lottie
It was a great Sunday in the City.

January 24, 1989A couple of days later I kept getting phone calls from my coworker, Cedric Green.    He was so persistent that I finally couldn’t say no when he invited himself over to my place in Alameda. 

Cedric was at my pad and said, “You know, Mike, I really like you.”“I know.   I think you’re cool, too.”
“No, I really like you.”
“Oh.”
It didn’t go any further.   I just wasn’t into him in that manner.   It was a friendly visit and I was happy the way it ended.   We’re merely friends even though he still hopes for more.  
“Wait, let me get a photo of you next to my globe.”
Cedric laughed, “Sure, Mike!”
PHOTO:  Cedric Green
After Cedric Green left my house I was happy to be alone to read the latest letter I received from Honolulu.   It was a new letter on NARITA TOKYU Japan Hotel stationery from Steven Antol.   He wrote:

01/23/89, Honolulu, Hawaii Dear Michael,
I hope that you received my first letter w/matches and photo enclosed.  It was nice talking w/you last night.  Sorry that I woke you up.  I kind of thought you’d be sleeping but some wild force dragged me to the telephone dial before I could stop myself…Ha-ha.

I went to the post-office today.   Wow!   What a day for mail.   Thank you.   I received your postcards and I did receive your cassette tape of songs.   Thank you very much for all of your notes and your wonderful music.   I enjoyed the tape very much.   You’ve put quite a bit of my favorites on there.   I listened to it a few times today, mostly while I was driving back and forth from Kailua where I live to town.

On my way home this afternoon as I was driving over the Pali…I did a detour and went up to the Pali Lookout.  Have you been there?   I was feeling kind of great with the music playing.   The trades were blowing and I’d thought I’d take advantage of the beautiful day and sit down at the lookout.   I’ve been doing so many things lately, so many emotions.   I thought it would be nice to stop and rest.   Well, it was wonderful, the green valley, the blue ocean, the mountain winds all felt fine and looked awesome.   And yes I did think fondly of you, Michael.   I have a lot of work ahead of me but I do look very forward to when I can make a trip to SFO and visit with you.  Please be patient because I can’t promise anything soon, but when I can make it, I promise that you’ll be the first to know. Hey, THANKS for sharing your special biker card with me.   I enjoyed it very much and even more that you held on to it for so long…a very kind gesture.  Mahalo!

San Francisco must be in quite high spirits now that the SUPERBOWL is theirs.  Lots of celebration…yeah? I’m on-call tomorrow morning.   I have no idea where I’ll end up for the next three days.   It’s always a surprise.   That second night we met I was very shocked when I found out I was going to Manila, Japan and Taiwan, etc.   I wasn’t ready for that.   I just wanted to stay home that night.   I’m glad it all worked out well.   I was able to get a quick nap in on the flight to Japan.   Thank God…I only had about nearly 3-hours of sleep.   Yes, I was tired but the whole trip I thought of why I was tired and then I smiled.   I knew it would be OK.

I gave a call to my family.   They all live in Pittsburgh, PA.   They were all fine.   I enjoy talking with them.   They always treat me very well.   I told my parents to get passports, so one day I can take them on a short trip with me to the Orient or Down Under.   I think that they would love it. Hey, you sounded a little displaced from your work place.   Hang in there…just make the best of it.   When you’re ready for a change…DO IT.   It’s always for the best.   I believe strongly in growth and change.   How do the other departments look?   Anything interesting?   Check it out.

Well, it’s time for a shower and I’ll then get some sleep.   Take care of yourself.  Enjoy your biking and workouts.   It looks like it highly agrees with you.  Bye for now…will keep in touch.
Love, Steven PS-I hope you don’t mind my extra Christmas stamps.   They’re almost gone. 
Hey, what does the “J” stand for?  What’s your middle name, Michael?

I loved Steven’s letter and I could relate to his line about ‘so many emotions’.   This must be commonplace for  both men and women in their late twenties/early thirties.   I did shudder a bit when I read his line 'I can't promise anything soon'.   I hope I get to see him again soon.  It feels so dry and lonely when it ends abruptly.   I feel the same about Rhonda.  I dare not mention Rhonda to Steven.   I dare not mention Steven to Rhonda.  I've written to Rhonda but no replies (sadness).
January 27, 1989Another few days passed and Lottie was still in town.   She came to Alameda and she signed the House Book she gifted me.   She wrote:

PHOTO:  Lottie,
WOMEN ON THE VERGE OF A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN
January 27, 1989I am here and tomorrow I’m gone.   Michael has all of the evidence.

The evidence included a half-torn ticket from our movie in San Francisco on this day of Pedro Almodovar’s WOMEN ON THE VERGE OF A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN.   The paper coaster from a drink we had at the FAIRMONT HOTEL and business cards from LIGHTENING FOODS at One Market Plaza, MEL’S DRIVE-IN (where we both enjoyed banana split sundaes) and the HAKKA CUISINE TON KIANG RESTAURANT at 3148 Geary Blvd.

This was the last entry to this House Book.   She is so much fun and I cannot wait to see her again.   I love her energy and she makes me laugh.  Laughter is necessary in life.  I recalled how Rhonda made me feel so nervous (yet excited) in Hawaii; however, Lottie, always makes me feel so natural and she makes it so easy to simply have a good time and not feel all of these worrisome barriers.   While Lottie and I were at Mel's Diner I captured a still photo of her by the balloons.   She took a pic of me while I was smitten (cherry sundae-style).
 It was a big surprise in the mailbox today.  I received more correspondence today.  It was a triple whammy as I received a letter from “Help Me” Rhonda, Soren Langelund (the mysterious Danish gentleman that Lottie and I met at Hamburger Mary's) and another letter from Steven Antol.   I began to wonder if the OUIJA Board didn’t mean that I’d link up with a woman named RHONDA but perhaps a ‘beach boy’ (since the song is from THE BEACH BOYS).  Ha-ha.

Rhonda’s letter wasn’t as lengthy as Steven’s but at least she took the time to write and acknowledge my correspondence.   She wrote:January 25, 1989
Dear Michael,
ALOHA!   Thank you so much for the cards.   I loved it.   I just got back from KAUAI a couple of hours ago.   It was the most beautiful place I have ever seen.   I loved it.   Sorry I missed your call on Super Bowl Sunday.   I was rooting for San Francisco and I’m so glad they won. 

I went to HARD ROCK a couple of days ago and ordered a Hurricane cocktail and it reminded me of you!   Have you found out yet if you get to go to Maui?   Make sure you let me know, so I can fly over and meet you there because I haven’t seen Maui yet.   I know we would have a great time.   I think I am going to my Dad’s house in March (Livermore).   I will let you know, so you can meet me at the airport and then we can go play in San Francisco!   Sounds fun.   Well, I have to go work.   Sorry it took so long for the letter. 

XOXOLove, RHONDASoren sent me a postcard from Minneapolis, Minnesota.  I guess he’s on a cross-country trek in search of foreign exchange students.   His postcard was postmarked January 25, 1989 and he wrote:

Hi Michael,Just a brief note to show that I didn’t forget you…in fact I’ve been thinking quite a lot of you lately.   I hope to meet you again soon.   I’ll be continuing on to Denmark tomorrow.   Hope to hear from you.

Yours, Soren V. L. LangelundAnd the latest letter from Steven Antol, PO Box 30927, Honolulu, HI 96820.   He wrote at 2:11AM the following:

Good Morning Michael,It’s late and I’m ready to sleep, but again I wanted to say hello.   I just got back from POPO’s, a Mexican Restaurant and Bar.   My friend, Brent, who I used to work with as a Concierge at UNITED, is changing jobs.   A few of us got together to say goodbye.   I bought a flower lei and dropped it off not intending to stay long.  Well, my friend, Diane, dropped in and we got to talking.   I had a juice and a coke and 11PM turned into 1AM.  I didn’t drink since I am on call.   I was supposed to work today but they didn’t call me.   I guess all of the trips are covered.   Tomorrow maybe…

I went to the airport tonight to pick up a check.   I wasn’t going to my mailbox since I was running a little late.   I thought about you as I was again listening to your tape and thought ‘just maybe’ there would be some mail form you.   Well, I went and YES…there was a letter from you.   Thank you again.   The card was wonderful and yes, I found the kangaroos hiding out in the bushes…Ha-Ha.I liked the card and thanks for the note.   I was happy to hear from you and it helped me enjoy my late evening.   I told myself that I would write you before I went to sleep tonight.

I received my schedule for Japan.   I have off the 16th thru the 20th.   I’m going to work on getting a trip to leave Japan and fly to SFO to visit you for maybe two days.   I’m not sure how things will work out but let me know if you’ll be home those days.   I guess it would be more like the 17th and 18th.   Hey…I made a mistake.   It’s the 6ththru the 10th—so maybe the 7th, 8th and 9thof February (somewhere in that area).   If you’re going to be home, I’ll do my best to cross the Pacific for a visit.   Why not, right?   It’s probably about a 14 hour flight.   I think I can handle it.

I hope you’re excited with the news.   I’ll probably talk with you before I leave for Japan.I think I’ll take a short drive to the post-office and mail this letter.   I’m excited for you to receive it.   Sometimes I can hardly wait for things--.
Have a Happy Day,
ALOHA, Steven

Needless to say, I was overly excited about seeing Steven again within the next two weeks (hopefully).   I was nervously excited.  Was there really a future in us though?  So many emotions were sifting and I clearly wasn't sure which tunnel I would enter.   I simply knew that I enjoyed the latest in attention.  I was enjoying it all very much.If we’re frank about our feelings, we have a safety valve; and if we have a safety valve, we’re actually less likely to start persecuting.   I know that theory is unfashionable nowadays.   We all keep trying to believe that if we ignore something long enough it’ll just vanish…
--Christopher Isherwood
A SINGLE MAN