Michael Joe Armijo's Blog, page 52

Little Does She Know

“A secret’s value is not in what you know, but in what you do.”--Dan Millman, Way of the Peaceful Warrior A Book That Changes Lives
I loved Paloma’s Christmas card that always arrives around New Year’s.  She had mentioned how surprised that I didn’t know about the French actress, Catherine Deneuve.   A few months ago I had sent her a card that I made using a portrait of Catherine and had written the following, acknowledging my slight fear of moving:
10-12-89Dear Paloma,I remember you said Catherine Deneuve was a famous actress in France.  She’s semi-famous here.  I’ve seen her in a few films I think.  I saw this ad of her.  She IS beautiful.
I’m here at work right now.I went to LA last weekend.  I cleaned up and brought a few pictures.  It’s kind of exciting but at the same time a little scary because I won’t be as close to my family.  I’m used to that—but it’s not that far away.  It’s not like I’m moving to New York or the French Riviera.Do you get soap operas in France?  There’s a new one that my mom is hooked-on called THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL.  I saw one of the actors on the soap in L.A. in a jeep in Beverly Hills.   I went to see that movie, OLD GRINGO, too.  It was good.  Go see SEA OF LOVE with Al Pacino and Ellen Barkin.  I liked that one a lot.What does Fraicheur de Vivre mean?  Something about Freedom of Life?   It was on the bike card you sent me.  I was just looking at it.   Thinking of you, Love, Michael Joe Armijo
I was in-the-mood to get more familiar with Catherine Deneuve, so I walked across the street to TOWER RECORDS and rented the movie from 1983 called THE HUNGER.   Catherine stars as a doctor who specializes in sleep and aging research.  It’s an erotic horror film and there’s a love triangle between her, David Bowie and Susan Sarandon.  It’s quite unusual; however, I love vampire films (it must stem from my love of DARK SHADOWS when I was growing-up).  The following night I was restless and I decided to go to Nicky Blair’s around the corner on Sunset Boulevard for a drink.  It was a Wednesday night, January 4th, so I thought I might meet another local like I did when I met Alan.   Well, this was a straight club and I sat and ordered my usual White Russian cocktail.   While it was a straight bar/restaurant there was still some eye-contact between myself and an attractive looking man at the bar.  He struck up a conversation with me.“Hi, this place isn’t really happening is it?”“No…not really…you can’t win ‘em all.”He laughed and asked, “Are you an actor?”“Not really,” I replied, “Why do you ask?”
“Oh…you just have THAT LOOK.”“Well, no, I just moved here from Northern California for work.  I live very close by.”“Oh,” he said with a very enticing smile and a gleam in his eye.“Do you live around here?” “Well, I live in the VALLEY but I come out here a lot.”When he said the VALLEY I thought of that TV show starring Barbara Stanwyck called THE BIG VALLEY.   I wasn’t really familiar with where he was talking about.  We continued our talk and I explained how I worked for the phone company and I was probably going to quit in the near future for some other industry.   I learned his name was ALEX BLYTHE and I also introduced myself, explaining that I was of Spanish descent. “I wouldn’t mind working in the Entertainment Industry in some sort of capacity,” I announced.His eyebrows rose a bit and then he said, “Well, I think you’d look great in front of the camera.”I smiled and knew this was a cue that he was in the ‘boys like boys’ category.   I felt comfortable talking with him but it was a work day tomorrow, so I announced my departure.   He said he was going to leave also.   He walked out with me and asked, “So how far do you live from here?”I was a bit nervous but I said, “It’s walking distance.  Do you want to come and see my pad?”“Sure.”Once we were in my place I took out my Polaroid and snapped a photo of ALEX BLYTHE.   Photo:  Alex Blythe I asked, “So how old are you?”“You wouldn’t believe it if I told you.”“Oh come on…just tell me.” He hummed and finally said, “I’m forty-three.”I was quite surprised.  “Well, you look really good for your age.”
“I know…everyone tells me I look much younger.”“You do.”Suddenly the alcohol in our bloodstreams kicked-in and we started to kiss.  It was nice but I knew I didn’t want it to go any further because I refuse to do a ONE NIGHT STAND.   That is easily how this could go.  So after another kiss or so, I said, “Well, I have to work tomorrow, so maybe we can see each other another time.”“Sure, you know…you look like someone.”“Who?”
“Well, has anyone ever told you that you have a sort of TOM CRUISE thing going on?”
I laughed, “No, not really…but a few people say I look like that model in the BUGLE BOY ads.”“Maybe that’s where I thought I saw you.”And so…we exchanged phone numbers.  Alex left and I wasn’t sure about his motives, so I was glad it ended there.  I really couldn’t believe he was forty-three though.The following day I received a ‘surprising’ card from Dorothy Rua. She wrote:
January 4, 1990Dear Michael,I was beginning to wonder why I haven’t received a response to my recent cards and gift when I got a card on Thursday evening, Dec. 20th. It’s taken me a week to write because I’ve been seething with anger.  I’m still boiling mad but I feel I should communicate with you.  I say I only have a clue as to why I haven’t heard from you because I don’t believe I’ve been told everything by Peter.   The little bit I’ve been able to put together is that Peter picked up the mail over Christmas weekend, ready your card (dated 12-19 with the guy getting dressed for work), kept it from me, convinced himself we have (or would like to have more than a friendship, then suggested you address your correspondence to MRS. DOROTHY RUA!   I feel you’re owed an apology but I’m not sure what needs to be said because I don’t believe I’ve been told ALL that’s transpired.I’ve always looked forward to your cards (creations) and hearing from you.  I don’t know if I can forgive Peter if he’s taken that away from me.  There is so much to be said for a friendship with a special person who shares your sense-of-humor and gets a kick out of similar things in life (not an easy thing to lose).As I said, I don’t know what’s been said or written to you, I hope it wasn’t harsh.   And I hope it has not caused irreparable damage to our friendship.  However, if you prefer to STOP communicating with me because of the hassle you’ve been caused I will truly understand.I look forward to the day I can get thru some of this anger and see the humor in this ‘soap opera’ type situation.  It’s so absurd!  Who needs it?  No one!Thinking of you and hoping the NEW YEAR is bringing you all you’ve hoped for.   Love, DorothyP.S.  I did enjoy the above mentioned card by the time it reached me.  I especially liked the contrast of business suits, bicycles and helmet! Helmet for flying objects too…I’m happy to hear you’ve found a fun person (VIOLET) to hang out with (or whatever).   Sounds like you’re finding the excitement you went down there for!  Enjoy!  I like the seashells…but not as much as my rainbow!
Friday, January 6, 1990The following evening I was in the mood to talk to Violet Levi after Dorothy’s letter.   The surprising part about Dorothy’s letter is that I never received a letter or not from her husband Peter (of who she is separated from).  Oh well…I needn’t dwell on it; however, I will continue to write to Dorothy as I still see her as a great friend.   I decided to give her a phone call to ease her anger.
Violet Levi and I spoke on the phone and she came over to my place after we’d been talking for two hours.  One thing led to another and we were in my bed ‘naked’ before long.    She was going down on me…and while I enjoyed it something didn’t seem right.  She was a lot older than me and I wasn’t all that ‘into’ her.   So…the episode cut itself short and I learned later that she thought I was not a very sexual person because she had mentioned that in a latter discussion by phone.   Little does she know…?
The following day, January 6th, I received a letter from Chad Mark Glen.  I found some of his words rather touching.  He wrote:
January 5, 1990Dear Michael, I hope this letter finds you healthy and happy.  You are one of the best letter writers I know.  It must be all that practice you get from journaling.  Can any of that great, rich material be used for a novel?  I’m sure you must have given it some thought.I did not receive your card and package for quite some time.  I had moved all of my stuff out and had my mail forwarded.  Your items were sent to my old address and help by my wonderful former house-mates.  I am glad to hear that you love where you live and your place, but am dismayed that you feel stuck in the same old job.  You simply must do something about this.  You would be a great asset to an ad agency and with your looks and that winning personality of yours, filed sales would be a breeze—and most assuredly a breath of fresh air.  I’m not much of a phone person myself, so I can readily relate to your reticence to using the phone; although I would love to receive a call from YOU.I am absolutely sick about not seeing you while you were here over the Christmas Holiday.  I would have loved to pick you up at the airport.  I hope you had a good visit.  I am totally disappointed that you didn’t call though.  I realize that your trip was brief and the holidays are a crazy time, but next time…call.I went to the CITY to pick up some stuff and played the personalized tape that you made on the ride home.  It brought back a flood of really special memories.  My brother and I share a study at my parents’.  I was playing the tape as my brother and I were working at our desks.  He was really curious about the music and I told him all that I could.   Quite a few of the songs brought instant memories to my mind and smiles to my lips.  I listened, remembered, and enjoyed.  The cover is perfect…ever thought of designing album covers?PHOTO:  Dad and I, 1987 Thank you for the Christmas card.  I was quite pleased to see that I had made the top of Santa’s list with a favorable comment.  I still have the Xmas card you sent me in 1987 with the photo of you and your father together.  It reminds me of the time we were over your parents around Christmas and your father was trying to get me to eat pine nuts.  I didn’t really know your father but what I did know of him I liked.  It must be tough losing a parent.  I know how difficult it was when my sister died.  But I can’t imagine what it would be like to lose a parent.I look forward to hearing from you.  I’m glad that I haven’t lost you as a friend.  The distance between visits and letters doesn’t mean indifference.  I do care.Always, Chad
It’s funny because I had made a cassette tape of songs for Alan, too.  I try not to select the same songs for every person.  Every person is different and there are certain tunes that make me specifically think of Alan (and/or Paloma, Chad, Dustin, etc.).
After reading Chad’s letter I drove to Santa Monica in one of Alan’s reserved parking spaces.  He drove to Newport Beach.  This time I was staying the night at his place.  I was looking forward to the weekend.  We’d drive back late on Sunday.   Newport Beach is a beautiful area.  I felt a special connection while being there with Alan.   I took a Polaroid photo of him in front of the cottage house.  He took one of me too but I was an itty bitty part of the scene.  I need to give him some tips on getting closer to the subject.   It was fun just the same. 

On Saturday night I asked Alan, “So…have you brought anyone else here before?”I couldn’t help but wonder if I was a long string of guests that he might have brought here.   I came to learn that he had been here with one or two others but it was meaningless.  I liked that he was so excited about getting to know me better (as I was him).   I was honest and told him about meeting Alex Blythe the other night but made it clear that ‘nothing happened’.   
Alan also knew about my friend, Violet Levi, but I didn’t think I needed to explain any details at this time.  I’m sure he realizes she is no threat to ‘us’.   What a great weekend!  He loved my cassette of music and we listened to it on Sunday during the drive back to L.A.  I believe we’re on to something.  Our time flies by so quickly when we’re together and we don’t want it to end.
On Tuesday, Dorothy sent me another card:
January 9, 1990Dear Michael,What a wonderful surprise your phone call was!   It lightened my heart and lifted my spirits!   What a good friend you are, calling when you sensed I’d appreciate hearing from you.  Thanks for your understanding of a situation I find strange.Well, time to get on with the new decade!   As I mentioned on the phone, I’m back into the want ads!  I have a few leads.  I’ll let you know if anything develops.  I don’t know if anything worthwhile will develop from my friend’s PUBLIC RELATIONS and ADVERTISING Business; although, he has a background in the industry.  This is his first attempt at operating independently.  I have confidence in his work but I’m realistic enough to know what the success and failure statistics are for new businesses.  He wants me to work the sales end and I’ve agreed to give it a try on a part-time basis.  However, I need to devote the majority of my time to a ‘real’ job that includes a salary!So, what are your plans these days?  You mentioned contacting PAC TEL CELLULAR and Walt Disney’s subsidiary…still looking for new horizons?  Has your current job gotten any better—or possibilities for advancement improved any? And how is your social life coming along…sounds like you’re still keeping quite busy.  Hope everything is back to being okay between you and Violet.  We all have so little time which makes any unpleasantness in our lives such a waste!  So, whatever you’re doing down there in THE LAND OF THE PALMS make sure you’re enjoying it!  I had an interesting experience recently:  I took advantage of a coupon I was given for a free massage.  I had visions of lying covered by a tiny pink towel while a gorgeous hunk of a guy worked exotic oils into my muscles!  Well, I ended up fully clothed on an uncomfortable table/bed with ‘MICHELLE’ working me over and on an over-sized guy named ‘GEORGE’ lying on a table/bed 2-inches next to me, also getting worked over.  Needless to say, I didn’t stay long.   What female wants another female working them over while lying in business suit 2-inches from an over-sized guy named ‘GEORGE’?  Ha!Remembering how you enjoy reading horoscopes I’m enclosing a 1990 one I thought you’d enjoy.  I found most of the GEMINI descriptions to be so much like you.  Taurus, my sign, is also included.  It describes me well, but I find some of the predictions scary!  Now I remember why I rarely read my horoscope!
I bought this card because I got a kick out of it.  I mean PARTY TIME IS PARTY TIME everywhere in the world!  Can you imagine how wild this bunch gets on New Year’s Eve?  I had the TV on two days ago and would you believe they were showing the ASARO MUD MEN of New Guinea!  The same tribe in the same masks and everything!   First thing I said was, “I know those guys!”  Maybe they’ll invite us to their next party?  As long as we’re not ‘dinner’.   Love, Dorothy
I imagined being in his car asking myself, “Who knows, would I want to, would he want to, perhaps a nightcap at the bar would decide, knowing that, all through dinner that evening, he and I would be worrying about the same exact thing, hoping it might happen, praying it might not, perhaps a nightcap would decide…”--Andre Aciman, CALL ME BY YOUR NAME

A Can Of Sardines

I was like men who openly declare other men irresistibly handsome the better to conceal that they’re aching to embrace them.--Andre Aciman, CALL ME BY YOUR NAME
I’m so excited.  Alan got tickets for us to see JOAN RIVERS on January 9th.  I had mentioned that she made me laugh.  I saw her perform in San Francisco back in the 80s when she used to substitute for Johnny Carson on THE TONIGHT SHOW.  This will be fun because she’s doing a solo stand-up comic performance.  I’m just a little nervous that she might pick on me because Alan says, “I got the BEST seats!”
Alan and I were on a movie kick as we’d seen these films this month:  GLORY (a dramatic war film with Denzel Washington and Matthew Broderick); ALWAYS (a Steven Spielberg romantic-comedy drama); and MUSIC BOX (about a Hungarian-American immigrant accused of being a war criminal, starring Jessica Lange).
Paloma wrote another letter describing some of her Christmas events (and she included a brochure of the LES HAUTS DE BALARUC Residence Club that she and Alexandre work/manage):
…Jonathan got tons of toys.  I really don’t know what to do with all of the toys he has anymore.  Right now we almost can’t get into his room!  He is way too spoiled but my family is crazy about him (my brothers still don’t have children and I don’t think they will).
So anyway…coming back to you…the only thing I thought you might not have in the States is something to go bike riding with a French brand on, so I went to the PEUGEOT store and I was going to get you a bicycle shirt with PEUGEOT written on it.  They just had a few left.  I didn’t like the colors that much (something like gray, yellow and black), so instead I got you the ‘shorts’.  The problem was I didn’t know your size but Alexandre tried on a pair and we tried to find out.  Now I just hope they fit you and that you like them.   Too bad I didn’t know your shoe size.  They had really nice bike shoes (Eddy Merckx).   Do you have them there?   What about PEUGEOT stuff?   The guy in the store said you didn’t but I guess he also didn’t want to lose a sale.   They also had some Z shirts (it’s Greg LeMond’s team), right?  Just don’t forget to wash your shorts before you wear them otherwise I’m not sure someone will stay around you.  They smell like fish!   

I’m also sending you two tapes we recorded for you (Alexandre and I).  I do hope you like them.  My favorite songs are “Ainsi Soit Je” by MYLENE FARMER and “Losing My Mind” by Liza Minelli (and a few others but I don’t remember them all---Oh…“Call Me” by BLONDIE.
Well, I’ve got to send this right now because the post-office is going to close down and tomorrow we’re leaving for another week.  Once more…HAPPY NEW YEAR!  Write me!Love, Paloma
Paloma’s line about having bike shorts that smelled like fish made me laugh.  It also made me crave a can of sardines.  Eating a can of sardines with some crackers on the side always made me think of my father.   As a boy, he would share and feed them this way with me (and my brother) on the front porch of our house at 1447 16th Avenue in Oakland, California.
Dorothy Rua sent another Christmas card of a lonely boy feeding a bird in the snow.  She didn’t write anything of substance in the card, simply best wishes for the holidays and the New Year (1990). 
Gloria Romero sent a Christmas card also.  She signed it:  With Love, Your Friend, Gloria, George and RAISIN, too (the dog).  I laughed about the dog named RAISIN.  It’s my least favorite food, too (especially if included in a cinnamon roll; I can tolerate the chocolate covered raisins though).

Birda Briggs (my former bike riding partner in Alameda) sent me a SANTA card and wrote a bit more.  I loved how she described the thought of parking her bike in front of the fridge:
MICHAEL,I received your postcard and I think it’s great.  I love the picture.  I put it on my drawing board, hoping it will give me ‘artistic incentive’.  I haven’t drawn too much lately.  A lot of starts…but no finish.
Bike riding is the same…a lot of starts…but no finishes.  I rode a couple of day, and then about two weeks later I tried again.  I used the excuse that I’m too sore or tired.  I guess old age is catching-up.  I park the bike in the front (right next to the TV) but it doesn’t help.  I should park it in front of the fridge!

So…you made the move.   L.A.  Fast times and traffic jams.  How do you like it?  Did you move because of the earthquake or did you move before?  Where do you work?  Or did you retire?

Can you believe it’s almost Christmas already?   The years go by so fast.  It’s scary!   It will be a year in February since I started hauling cars and it seems like yesterday.

Hopefully, I get to go to L.A. someday.   Work’s going through changes.  I’m not sure but it looks like I’ll be back to running local runs.   So the only way I’ll get to L.A. is on vacation.  I’ll know in a couple of weeks.Other than that it’s margaritas and Hershey Kisses.   So you take care.  

Keep in touch and someday we’ll ride again…even if it’s a bike with three wheels.  I heard your balance goes when you’re about ‘80’.Always, Birda…
Friday, December 29, 1989I was excited because I was expected Jim from the Gym and Cwissy to arrive from the Bay Area today.   I knew they’d be tired after the six hour drive, so we had plans to just relax at my pad.  I loved how cute they looked in their matching holiday pajamas.  I had to take a photo.  I could use it as ransom someday.  PHOTO:  JIM and CWISSY

We had a great Saturday at the beach.  We went to Santa Monica.  We were lucky with the sunshine, too. 
Once back in West Hollywood I checked my mailbox and found another card from Paloma.  The card had a bit of an Art Deco look and it was titled "Le Secret":
Dear Michael,I just came back from PARIS last night.  I didn’t write you from there because I just stayed seven days, and they were crazy days with the shopping for Christmas and stuff.  I also saw two movies:  BLACK RAIN and WHEN HARRY MET SALLY.  You’ve seen both, right?   

I thought about you many times while I was there.  I remembered when you said, “I could drive your car anytime” after seeing how I was able to drive in PARIS, remember?  Well, let me tell you that I feel way more comfortable with a shitty car than with a new car.  I didn’t drive this time but I was quite nervous with Alexandre driving!   We’ve been looking all over the place to try to find you something typical but we couldn’t find anything you wouldn’t have in the States (even the things written on the T-shirts are in English!).   I don’t know if it’s because it was sales time but I really didn’t find something I liked.   I was supposed to choose my presents but instead I got some money because I couldn’t find something I wanted.   Can you believe that?   Well, I also got a few presents:  a sweater, a belt, a pair of shoes…
Alan and I will go to Newport Beach for the weekend next week.  I’m excited for that escape.  He's great company.  The time flies when I am with him.  
LOVE ought to be even MORE.  It ought to mean, along the roads of life, the companionship of another mind, reflecting your own fortune and misfortunes, and proving to you that all is not a dream.   The idea of marriage has been to me the presence in my life of a person with whom I could talk, tomorrow, of the things that happened yesterday.--Isak Dinesen, 
Seven Gothic Tales: THE ROADS AROUND PISA

I Can't Shake The Feeling

He said, “I keep thinking about this river somewhere, with the water moving really fast.   And these two people in the water, trying to hold onto each other, holding on as hard as they can, but in the end it’s just too much.  The current’s too strong.  They’ve got to let go, drift apart.  That’s how I think it is with us.  It’s a shame…because we’ve loved each other all our lives.   But in the end, we can’t stay together forever.”--Kazuo Ishiguro, NEVER LET ME GO, a novel
Paloma sent me a photo of her and her son, Jonathan, in his new wheels with a nice Christmas card:
Dec. 14, 1989Dear Michael,Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!  Thank you for your long letter with the pictures of your nieces.  They are all very pretty, that must be fun to have all these little dolls running around.   Why haven’t you contacted the two agents interested in you yet?   You shouldn’t wait too long.  They’ll forget you.  I think the most important thing to become a model or an actor is LUCK—but if you don’t try anything then nothing will ever happen.  Anyway, better be a ‘will be’ than a ‘has been’. 
Next week we’re going to PARIS for Christmas, and then we’re going to Castres, France to spend New Year’s Eve with Alexandre’s family.  Then we will go to Laguiole in the South of France to visit his sister and family (she has two kids about Jonathan’s age—a boy and a girl).  I’m sure you’ve never heard about those places (Castres, Laguiole).   Don’t worry…I didn’t even know about them before I met Alexandre.   That’s one of the biggest faults of Parisians (to think that there is almost ONLY Paris in France).   Well, in Laguiole they make the most famous knives in France which, of course, are called the “LAGUIOLES”.    For the bags you have LANCEL, VUITTON and HERMES (among lots of others, of course); for the jewelry: CARTIER, VAN CLEEF & ARPELS, BOUCHERON, etc.  And for the knives:  LAGUIOLE!   I’m sorry; I don’t know what’s wrong with me today.  I just can’t write—but I swear I never drink anymore!  Only 1.5% of French people never take drugs (including tea, coffee, cigarettes, etc.).   Believe it or not I belong to them (the 1.5%).  Do you like knives?  
In January we are also going to the CLUB MED in Chamonix-Mont Blanc for a week to ski.  I don’t like that but Alexandre does.   I’ll do some ice skating.  Chamonix is right next to Switzerland, so we are planning to go to get me some perfume samples (they sell them there).Now that I’m sending Christmas Cards I noticed that my friend, Brad (remember I told you about him?), lives in West Hollywood, too (on West Knoll Drive).   Do you know where it is?
I’m sending you a few pictures of our new driver but they are not too good because when I took them it was almost night time.   Too bad your nieces aren’t around.  He would love to take them for a drive.I’m going to be ‘31’ pretty soon but you’d better not say anything mean about that because don’t forget it’s also going to be your turn pretty soon!   I’m going to see Corinne and Caroline in Paris.   Did I tell you they’re both pregnant?   They’re due in February and March I think.Well, I will tell you some more when I come back, so till the next time.MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR once more.Love You,PalomaPS- Yesterday I’ve been looking at an old box of mail.   I found tons of letters from you.  I bet we’ve been writing each other for millions by now!
I was also surprised to receive a Christmas card from Julie Waller.   She was a Vietnamese refugee at my high-school in Alameda.  She was a sophomore when I was a senior.  I loved to talk with her because she spoke so meekly.  French was her primary language but I loved to flirt with her (especially when she wore her sexy white satin pants).  Julie wrote:
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!How is your new place?  I intend to come down soon but don’t know exactly when.   I will let you know.   My new number is 415-454-7298.   Call me soon.  I hope this New Year will bring a bundle of joy and laughter.  Love You, JulieI knew from Julie’s note that she lived in the Marin County area as I recognized the prefix of her telephone number.  I was excited to write back.
I found an old postcard of a BIKE that Paloma had sent me.   I think she sent it to me around Christmastime after I visited her in Paris a few years ago.   It was fun to read it again:
Hello Michael,…seeing this card made me think about you.  I had to send it to you and also there is no way to find a nice Christmas card here.   I especially thought about you today.  I went through my papers and I read some cards you wrote me a while ago like in March—that was pretty interesting---What’s happening with you?   You’re not writing much!   I’m feeling pretty good.  I’m going to stop working at the store on December 31.   I’m really happy about that. I’m going to be able to work out so much.   You’re really going to be surprised next time you see me.   Well, I won’t have enough room to tell you much about what I’m planning to do, so I’ll just do it some other time in a longer letter.   This card was especially meant to wish you a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY NEW YEAR.   I hope to read you soon.  Love you, Paloma
Mom sent me another Christmas card but I called her and got on her case for not writing more.   She simply dated it DEC 1989 and wrote DEAR MIKE….LOVE MOM (the imprint of the card included “May Christmas and the New Year, too, Hold lots of happiness for you!”  I simply like a bit more of a handwritten personal note.   Mom laughed when I got on her case about it.  “I knew you’d say something,” mom replied.
My phone rang on this very evening and it was a woman responding to my LA WEEKLY ad about meeting-up for lunch.   We talked for hours.  I really liked her aura of independence and the fact that she had the guts to call me.   Her name is Violet Levi.    She is coming to visit me at my pad on December 21st.PHOTO:  Violet Levi I don’t know if I’d call Violet a ‘wicked city woman’.  It’s too early to say; however, she makes me laugh and I do enjoy her company.  Our first meeting was a success.  We went for a light bite on Sunset Plaza.  I plan on seeing her again tomorrow, Friday, December 22nd.   I am only working a half day, so I’m going to ride my bike to her law office and meet her for lunch.   She surprised me when she made her comment about our age difference. “I know I’m a lot older than you.”“How much older?” I asked.Violet wouldn’t say but I estimated that she was in her mid-thirties.   It didn’t matter to me.   I liked her company a lot.  She was a Jewish girl.   This made no difference to me either.  I recalled Alan making a point of mentioning this also.   People are people to me, so I evaluate them on personality versus race or religion.   I just don’t like it when they’re too ultra-religious.   I didn’t detect this from Violet or Alan.   More importantly, they weren’t plastic L.A. people.   They were “real” people that made me feel happy.
I received another call in response to my LA WEEKLY ad.  It was a girl with a foreign accent.   I didn’t return her call because I felt I had too much on my plate at the moment.  I was also going back to the Bay Area for Christmas.  
I was happy about my half day of work.  I suited up in my bike outfit and took a long ride via the Beverly Hills flats neighborhood.   Then I drove my car into Century City and walked into the law office where Violet was working.  I had my Polaroid with me and took a photo of her behind her desk.PHOTO:  Violet Levi, at work
I guess I saw the photo as proof that she really did work at a law office.  I almost felt like creating a file for all of the people I met—like the little lady in that movie THE YEAR OF LIVING DANGEROUSLY.  I want to create files for everyone.  I need to document their strengths and learn from them.
I was just happy that my little one-bedroom condo was finally getting in order.  My kitchen was small but it fit my needs.

I returned home to do some painting.  I found a couple of postcards from my elder co-worker in San Francisco (Gloria Romero).  She sends some very unusual cards.   The other surprise in my mailbox was a Christmas card from Steven Antol, the good-looking United Airlines Flight Attendant.Gloria Romero wrote:  
Hi!   …had lunch one Saturday (San Francisco) at a very nice French Restaurant.  Unusual card…at a tax break price.  How about that?  I had a Grand Marnier Souffle for dessert.  Yum!Hope all is well with you.  Love, GloriaP.S.  Received the L.A. Times Food Section, Thanks!
STEVEN ANTOL’s Christmas card included the imprinted words: SHARING AND CARING…That’s what Christmas is all about.
Dear Michael,
Hello, my Friend…just want to wish you a Very Merry Christmas and a Very Happy New Year.I’ll be flying to New Zealand and Japan for December, so I won’t be on the mainland to say hello.  I hope that you’re enjoying your new residence.   LAX will be a fun place to live.  I look forward to visiting with you sometime in the near future.How’s the job?  Fill me in on the details.Happy Holidays Michael.  Love, Steven
On the morning of December 23rd I got in my wheels (loaded up the Christmas gifts) and drove up to Northern California.   Christmas Eve falls on Sunday and Christmas Day is on Monday.
On Sunday, two of my greatest friends, Jim from the Gym and Cwissy, came by to see me at my mom’s house in Alameda (from San Ramon).   I took a cozy photo of them in my mom’s living room.
They made me laugh.  I was ecstatic because they are driving down to Los Angeles and we’re going to ‘beach it’ together.   I expect them to arrive on Friday, December 29th and they’ll crash with me at my pad.  Mom really likes Jim and Christine, too.   She took a photo of the three of us in front of her tree.
Christmas Eve was a fun and easy night.  It was primarily just ‘mom and I’, watching 60 MINUTES, AMERICA’S MOST WANTED and the movie “TOOTSIE”.   Mom had made a Santa Fe-style red Chile enchilada dish that was wonderful.   I absolutely loved it.
Tomorrow the kids would come along with my brothers and their wives.   Mom would make her lunch spread (or as we’d call it ‘our early dinner’).  I had fun taking my Polaroid pictures.   Another year seems to have clipped by so quickly.   The Christmas Eve feeling continued as my brothers and their families arrived.  I took a series of photos to memorize the events of the day.
I was happy to be home but I still missed something in Los Angeles.  I missed my new friend, Alan.   I called him to check up on how he was doing.   We had some good conversation.  “I’m going to see that movie DRIVING MISS DAISY with my mom tonight.”Alan sounded a bit quiet.  I think he missed me.   I tried to cheer him up by asking, “Don’t see that MUSIC BOX movie that Jessica Lange is in because I want to see it with you, ok?” I think that made him feel good because he had something to look forward to once I returned. 
When I was at his house I took a photo of him and his daughters from his photo album.   I kept it and looked at it after our phone call.  It's one of those photos I can save for a future date for a good laugh. 
On Christmas Day morning it was more of the same.  Family fun and opening of presents.  I managed to flash a number of new photos, too.  It makes it more festive to see the camera flash going as the kids are opening presents, too.  I just love that.   The girls couldn't wait to open the gifts.  I almost like the 'waiting game' better than the opening of them all.
Mom thoroughly enjoyed DRIVING MISS DAISY.   That actress, Jessica Tandy, had the best dialogue.   She acted like she disliked her chauffer but she loved him.  He was her best-friend.   I loved the movie, too.
The following day I had to drive back to L.A.  The highway ‘5’ was as boring as ever but my music helped me get through it.  I brainwashed myself to that LAMBADA song by Kaoma.   I was also hung up on a song that made me think of Alan every time I heard it by a group called BIG FUN.  It’s called I CAN’T SHAKE THE FEELING:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AwprFF11SAE
I wonder if I should tell him.  How long will it last?  I can’t shake the feeling.  Maybe I can demonstrate the song in a subtle way and include the song on a tape of songs made especially for him.   All I know is that when this song played during my drive I tended to accelerate from 65 to 75mph.   I just wanted to be back at my pad.  As I continued my journey back another cool song appropriately started to play called VOYAGE VOYAGE by Desireless.   I Love it when these wild coincidences happen.
Upon my arrival to West Hollywood I was happy to find another card from Dorothy Rua.   It was a classic photo card of a ‘damsel in distress’.  Dorothy wrote:
12-19-89…seems my work is never done.  If it’s not one job to do, it’s another!   Wouldn’t mind if this was my car and not just a borrowed one!
I’m so behind in answering your cards.  I can’t seem to catch up this time of year!  I enjoyed your Christmas card, especially since Santa has me listed as “extra nice”!  I also noticed the SPECIAL number he assigned me!  You knew I’d notice, didn’t you?
Thank you SO much for the wonderful surprise I received in the mail…personal address labels!   How could you have known?  Nearly two months ago I saw similar ones and wanted to place an order but I didn’t.  The re-emerging me wanted them in my name only but after so many years of neglecting “me” as an individual I didn’t follow through.  Now you’ve done it for me!  And I’m so very glad you did!   The rainbow scene is absolutely perfect!  How do you always seem to know?You may have sent ALL your friends personal address labels and cucumber T-shirts (hope you got my Thank You card), but you’ve managed to make me feel special…and for that, I sincerely THANK YOU!
I recently received the card with the girl glancing back at the sketch of the man.  It is interesting and different.  I like it!  It offers a light, contemporary feeling.
I’m glad you like the EAGLE pin…wasn’t sure what you’d think about it.  It’s not that WILD but wild enough, huh?  Ha!
Your own new personal labels are definitely YOU.  You’re such a romantic, Michael!  One of the things I like about you!  Pink and Purple skies!  I can just see you by the warm fire, overlooking the wild sea with a glass of wine in hand.   The picture would be perfect if you could get rid of the “model” by your side!  Ha!
I hope you get the package I mailed yesterday.  I kept waiting to send it because I was expecting an item I ordered last month.   It still hasn’t arrived, so you’ll probably get it next month.  I hope my mail will reach you before Christmas!  You have been in my thoughts and I do hope you have a wonderful holiday season and New Year!
My business card with phone number is enclosed.  I’m rarely in my office but I try to be there MON, WED and FRI between 9:30AM –11:30AM.  Love, Dorothy
“There’s someone in the world for everyone.  I’ve just got to be a bit more patient, wait till he comes along.  I don’t usually go for looks that much.   I have to connect mentally.  Physical attraction only lasts as long as the first screw.  After that you want to be able to talk.”
--Alexander McQueen, British Fashion Designer b. 1969 d. 2010.

The Perfect Gentleman

My fatigue almost sickens me.  I could sleep under the trees until this evening, but I shall not do it.  It must be my nerves that make me feel this urge to write.   And the reason I am so nervous is that everything I do now is leading me to one of three possible futures:To the womanTo Solitude (or the living death in which I spent the past few years, an impossibility now that I have seen the woman), orTo a horrible sentence.Which one will it be?  Time alone will tell.   But still I know that writing this diary can perhaps provide the answer, it may even help produce the right future. –Adolfo Bioy Casares, THE INVENTION OF MOREL
I went to the Maple Drive Restaurant in Beverly Hills for a drink.  I met a woman at the bar named Rose Simkins.  She was rather tall, attractive and smart.  She worked in the building in a law office for an Entertainment Company.  She found it refreshing that I wasn’t the typical plastic L.A. person.  I suppose she meets a lot of them.  She is probably in her mid-30’s.   I liked conversing with her and I felt I made a new friend.  Maybe we’ll go out for lunch sometime.  She gave me her telephone number; however, I don’t see the two of ‘us’ as a couple.  Time will tell.
I am already trying to work out a couple of weekends for my mom to come down to visit me.  I miss her and she is excited about another three or four-day weekend visit.   She is still watching her soap-opera BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL and ‘sometimes’ watches THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS though she is losing interest as all of the old regular cast members seem to be leaving.   I wrote to the Producer of both shows, Lee Phillip Bell:  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lee_Phillip_Bell In the letter I explained how my mother has been watching THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS since “Day 1” in 1973 and that she is coming to visit me in February 1990.   I continued to ask if we could meet her and visit the CBS-TV Studio where they tape the soap opera.   I am hoping she will reply in an affirmative way.  I didn’t tell my mother about it because I want to surprise her.   It won’t be a surprise if I don’t get a reply, so I’m crossing my fingers.
I received one of my first Christmas Cards in my condo mailbox.   It was from mom, of course.  Ha-ha.  She wrote:
12-89Dear Mike,…see you in two weeks.   I sure miss you.   Sue Miller sent me a Christmas Card.   She asked for you to call her when you get into tow.   It’s 11 o’clock, Monday mornings.  It’s so windy outside and all of my leaves are falling from the front yard tree. Take Care.   See you for Xmas.Love You,MOM
A day or so later I received another letter from Paloma.   She reminded me about that cool belt that I loaned her and she never returned to me because of her au pair child in the Berkeley Hills (Lisa) who kept it.  I wonder if I will ever retrieve it.   Paloma wrote me as if she was trying to be a matchmaker.  Here is an excerpt of her latest masterpiece:
…Lisa speaks English very well…and maybe if you’re nice enough she could even give you your belt back!   Here is her phone number:  415-526-3301.   She still lives in Berkeley but not with her mom anymore.   This way it would be easier to show you around at the same time.   She speaks French.  You could travel with her and this way Alexandre would not be jealous.  
Alexandre likes you.  You’ve sent him bottles of wine.  He keeps them like jewels and shows them to everybody but I still know him (so forget about you and I going to a disco alone together).  I can relate to that though.  Thinking about it I don’t think I could stand him going out with a girlfriend without me (especially if they had been writing to each other for years and if I couldn’t understand a word of what they’re writing each other!).   We’re very old-fashioned I guess. 
…but you are planning to come with a friend, right?   Who is he?…talking about something else for now, I just say A FISH CALLED WANDA, the movie.   I like Jamie Lee Curtis.  She has a gorgeous body.  It was all right.  I thought it was going to be better.  
…even before you told me that story about Richard Gere I didn’t like him that much anymore.  Tastes change.  I loved him in AMERICAN GIGOLO and BREATHLESS but I wasn’t that crazy about him in his other movies.    The actor I like now is Kurt Russel.   In fact I’ve liked him for a long time (ever since I saw ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK).   I just saw a pretty funny movie with him and his wife (if she still is), Goldie Hawn.  Is there any gossip about him?  I also saw his last movie with Sylvester Stallone because of him.  I think I already told you it was awful (Tango and Cash).  What a disappointment!
What I found gross in your story is now what men do.   That’s their business.  It’s what they do to the gerbil.  That’s really cruel.  I know how cruel people can be.  That’s something I’ll never understand.   It’s like yesterday I watched T.V. about the Ceausescu’s Process.  Is that the right word?  Or maybe his trial is better (?).  I don’t know but they’re killing.  It’s pretty unbelievable that you can see things like that on T.V. nowadays.  Have you seen that?  I have to go now.  I’ll write again very soon.Love, Paloma
I did a bit of research and learned that Paloma was referring to NICOLAE CEAUSESCU, the Romanian Communist Politician.  In November 1989, the XIVth Congress of the Romanian Communist Party saw Ceaușescu, then aged 71, re-elected for another five years as the leader. During the Congress, Ceaușescu made a speech denouncing the anti-Communist revolutions happening throughout the rest of Eastern Europe.  But the following month, Ceaușescu's regime itself collapsed after a series of violent events in Timişoara and Bucharest in December 1989.
It’s TRUE about Alan and me.   We have talked about taking a trip together.  We may just do a weekend in Newport Beach in the very near future; however, we’ve talked briefly about going to Europe together next year at some point.  In the meantime, we’re having fun in our courtship phase.   I prefer to call it our INTRODUCTORY Phase (which ends on exactly the 12-months after we met, so that's November 20, 1990).   We recently went out to see the new movie starring Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner:  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_War_of_the_Roses_(film)
It was really good and revolved around the difficulty of a couple getting a divorce.   Alan made me laugh after the film when he said, “That’s EXACTLY what it’s like!”    He would know first-hand as he is still going through the steps of his own divorce from his wife.
The following day I received another delightful card from Dorothy Rua.  The image depicted a photo from 1986 by Joe Mineau of a Chinese man at his desk, in front of a desktop computer and a giant hand reaching down over him via the ceiling.   The title of the card was ‘GOD DOESN’T USE A COMPUTER’.   I think Dorothy was teasing me as she probably pictured me in front of my word processer, typing away.   She wrote:
12-13-89Michael,I’m late answering your last “creation” which I really enjoyed.   The embracing couple seems to be very much IN LOVE, yet a bit sad.  I like her classic beauty and he has an innocence ab out him.  Do I read too much into these “innovations” of yours?
I’m glad you enjoyed my mermaid card.   Funny you mentioned a “shining light about the waves”.  I never noticed the light.  Thanks for pointing it out.  I need to know it’s there.
So, the “stars” are already checking you out, huh?  I can just imagine your subtle approval behind those sunglasses!   Something incredible is sure to happen to you down there.  Let’s hope it is fun and exciting, too!  Ha!
Thanks for offering to show your home should I visit.  You’re a sweetheart!   As far as privacy goes there’s no doubt in my mind you’d be the perfect gentleman(perhaps to my dismay! Ha!).   Actually, I’d be more concerned about intruding on your privacy and cramping your style, place….remember, I snore!  I remember how your roommate drove you crazy during your last Hawaii trip.  I can just see pillows…shoes…lamps…etc. being thrown through your bedroom door onto my head on the living room sofa!   Well, if I ever make it down I’ll just bring my helmet!
You managing to get through your workday in spite of the sunshine, palm trees, and bikini clad bodies you imagine are romping on the beaches must be tough.  
Previously, you mentioned reviewing the Sunday want ads…anything interesting?  What?  Jane Fonda’s escort to Hollywood parties!  Just be sure Tom Hanks (The Tom Cat) hasn’t taken all of her money!
I’ve been SO busy lately that I haven’t even been into the City since the earthquake!  I’m going NUTS!   Poor, poor me!  However, I did manage to have a fun day recently.  I met with a group of friends I used to work with at Santa Barbara Savings (a Crazy Bunch).  In the process of everyone trying to catch up on what everyone else has been up to a couple of the single girls began telling us what great sexy they’ve been having with the guys they’re seeing.  They went ON and ON with RoseMarie finally saying, “Am I the ONLY one here not getting good sex on a regular basis?”   Simultaneously, the three married females replied, “You’re the only SINGLE one that’s not!”   You can imagine how interesting the conversation became after that outbreak!
Later that evening I was talking to my sister in Hawaii—who, by the way, is quite a character, and always makes me laugh.   During the course of our conversation she told me my restless ness is a curse each of us STOICOVY Sisters was born with!   She said recently she told her husband, “If things didn’t perk-up around the old home front she was going to adopt a child…a twenty-five year old male!”  Ha!
By the end of that day I felt sure that the old Christmas verse “TIS THE SEASON” must mean “TIS THE SEASON TO BE HORNY!”  Okay, okay, I’ll be good—besides don’t want anyone telling Santa!  Yes, I’ve GOT to head west, through the tunnel!
I saw and enjoyed THE FABULOUS BAKER BOYS.  Have you seen it?   What did you think?   Have a favorite scene?  I did.
Oh, I was in a small shop in the mall (as much as I hate to admit it) when who should I run into?  Your old girlfriend, the Big M.   She hugged me and went ON and ON about how she wished she’d taken the time to get to know me better when I was at the SRC (Smart Resource Center)!   My question is…WHY?  Anyway, she was shopping for a gift to put under the SRC Christmas Tree for Ron Cole!   What would you suggest?  Ha!  It’s SO hard to be good.  I’m running out of room her.  More later…Love, Dorothy
Her letters amuse me.   I quickly picked up the phone after reading it and called Alan Freiman.“Hello?”“Hi, it’s me.”“I just got a letter from my good friend, Dorothy, in the Bay Area.   She tells me that movie THE FABULOUS BAKER BOYS is really good.   I thought you might want to go see it with me.”“Yeah, sure,” Alan perked up, “When do you want to go?”

I found a fantastic Christmas card of a gal with very BIG hair at the local card shop around the corner from me called 'a-ha' here in West Hollywood.  I decided to send it to Paloma but kept my words brief: 

Paloma, 
Have a Really BIG Christmas!
Cheers to New Beginnings in 1990.
I hope you have the BEST Xmas with your family.
Keep me posted on the latest going-ons.
I'd write more but I'm doing multiple Xmas cards and I want to get it over with.  Ha.  Thinking of You, Love, Michael
“…things like pictures, poetry, all that kind of stuff, she said they revealed what you were like inside.  She said they revealed your soul.”--Kazuo Ishiguro, NEVER LET ME GO, a novel

Cut-To-The-Chase

“Within our reach lies every path we ever dream of taking.  Within our power lies every step we ever dream of making.”--Amanda Bradley
While sorting through some of my personal boxes I came across a New Address note card with four small Victorian homes depicted that Chad Mark Glen had sent me.  He wrote a short, personal line with his new address in San Francisco, dated August 28, 1989. 
Michael:  I live in a Victorian like the one on the cover.  I’d love to hear from you and get together!   Chad.
Another postcard was from Dorothy Rua that depicted about eighteen different people from around the world with varied ethnicities.   Her words proved to be correct.  The SMART RESOURCE CENTER and our jobs to sell telephone directories now seem like a distant memory. Dorothy wrote:
Dear Michael,Don’t these faces remind you of the voices at the other end of our ‘Que Manager’?   “Is it free?”“What three dollars shipping and handling?”“We don’t need anything that costs money.”Well, Michael…the bright side about all of this will be that it will just be a memory someday!   Dorothy
Dorothy had also sent me a card with a beautiful quote on the cover from a poet named Amanda Bradley.
Dear Michael,Your departure from the SMART RESOURCE CENTER also ends the FIRST chapter of our short, but sweet, friendship.  I look forward to the many chapters ahead that our friendship will create.   Good friends are NOT easy to find and I sometimes wonder how we found that common ground that’s necessary to build a good friendship.  It’s a puzzle I’ll continue to work on!Remember, your next stop will be a very temporary one…and if things do get a little rough, think about the “O.B. Method” and the “I.B. Method”!   Sure things could be worse, but not much!  And try not to miss the “TOY Box”!  And the beautiful full-figured models from MERCED!  We did have a few laughs at the SRC, didn’t we?  Not enough to make us go back though!Michael, wonderful things await you…just keep your dreams alive and you’ll make them come true!I’ll be rooting for you…whatever you do and wherever you decide to do it!   That’s one of the things good friends are for! Wishing you only the BEST,Love, Dorothy
The imprint inside the card included the following words:THERE’S A WONDERFUL DREAM WAITING JUST FOR YOU.  I KNOW YOU CAN MAKE IT COME TRUE.
Then, Dorothy added below that line:   “I believe this!  Just don’t let me hear you’ve purchased a Chevy Station wagon!”
In early December 1989 I mailed mom a cute illustration ‘joke’ of man wearing a T-shirt that had the words “SHOW ME YOUR TITS” imprinted on his shirt.   The illustration showed the man in front of an elderly lady.  When you open the card the woman showed them.  It was funny.  Dorothy Rua had sent it to me.  I don’t think she expected it me to send it to mom but that’s the kind of relationship we have.   She’ll find it funny, too. I wrote:
Hi Mom,Do you believe this?   Dorothy sent it to me and she wrote that this was one of those mature Beverly Hills women that I should watch out for.  It really made me laugh.   Surprisingly, a lot of people have been writing to me!   I received four picturesque San Francisco postcards (how boring, can’t they find different sots of pictures…you know me…I like neat, unusual stuff).   I got one of those SF cards from Bill Matson (I met him in Hawaii and he lives in Elk, CA).  He goes to Hawaii every winter.  He must come from old money.  I know he own an INN in the Mendocino County area.   Another card was from Eileen Grabinsky.   Do you remember her?  She met you and dad at one point.  She wrote, “I may visit Los Angeles in January.”Then the other two cards were from a couple of the little girls I taught in San Francisco via that Think/Write Program that Pac Bell was involved with (in which I volunteered).  Chad also wrote.Jim from the Gym and Chris sent a postcard from Minnesota.  Jim called me and they may come to Southern California for a visit sometime during New Year’s Eve weekend.Paloma, of course, wrote…and Dorothy Rua, too.So it’s nice coming home after work to get all of this personal mail instead of bills (ugh!).   I shouldn’t have written that because I will probably get a bill today.   The French Doors are going to look so COOL.   I’m going to do it, too!   Look and see behind this card.   It’s a deal.   He didn’t have a picture of what I wanted when I described it; however he said, “I can do it.”Oh well, I guess I’ll end now.   Do you know of the actor named Roddy McDowell?   He is going to be at BOOK SOUP on Sunday, December 10th signing his latest book, DOUBLE EXPOSURE, TAKE 2.   He was a close friend of Natalie Wood.  I’m going to go buy his book and maybe give him one of my Natalie postcards.   I could say, “We have something in common…Natalie!”  Later, Love Michael This is the door he will order…but it will be white and he’ll remove the four squares and insert with the clear glass.  I will have to paint the middle scroll design in black myself.  Cool, huh?   The estimate for installation, doors and everything is $2500.   It will look so much better than the ugly sliding doors that lead to the terrace/balcony.    It’ll look something like this…white doors, chrome fancy curved door handles and shoveled misty glass here with the design on the glass.  The scroll design will be here…on the middle of the door (I will paint it black).   And the four bottom squares of each door will be clear glass.
Letter from Paloma…
Dear Michael……most of the French people (and also lots of English, German and Dutch people) spend their holidays in the South of France.   If I take you to Cap d’Agde (and I probably will) you’ll see what the word CROWD means.   I guess you’re now used to that in L.A.   I’m used to the country-style life.  I hate crowds now but once in a while at summertime I take a crowd bath to make sure I hate it.  I usually go to Cap d’Agde before and after the season but it’s a good time for you to go if you want to have some fun.  You might not be interested by an empty place.   Around here (except for the big cities, of course) it’s like Santa Cruz.   It’s dead at winter time and full of life at summertime.   If I were you what I would do is travel around the coast…from here to Monaco.  You could go to Nice, Cannes, and Saint-Tropez.   
Have you heard about Saint-Tropez?   This town is famous because of Brigitte Bardot.  Do you know her?   She has a house there and all the stars, too (even American ones like Joan Collins).   It’s really pretty but really crowded.  You’ll see the ‘jet set’ there.   Too bad I can’t go with you.   We already have a lot of people and sometimes I really wonder how some people can survive in this world.   They are so stupid.  You just can’t imagine the things they sometimes ask us.   I used to find it funny.   Now they’re getting on my nerves.   Anyway, let me know when you’re coming.  I’ll have an apartment ready for you.

Alison and her father are coming at the end of June (to France).   I don’t know exactly when they’re planning to come here.  I know Lise is flying to Paris on July 14th (Bastille Day).  I don’t know what she is planning to do either.   That’s too bad you’re not coming at the same time because the first time she told me she was coming she said a friend of hers was going to meet her here and they wanted to go to SPAIN.   Now her friend can’t afford to come.   Lise asked if she could stay here for two weeks (unless she finds the courage to travel by herself).  I answered what I told you:  “There is no problem at all.   I’ll be very happy to see you but I’m not sure I’ll be able to entertain you that much.”Lise even wanted me to find her a muscular, good-looking young man and now you want ‘the right woman’.   Why don’t you guys just get together!   She is not French, right?  ….
I didn’t know what to make of that.   Isn’t Lise too young for me?  Well, I have exciting news anyway.   I received a phone call from a girl who saw my ad in LA WEEKLY.   Her name is Violet Levi.   We have spoken on the phone a few times and we really enjoy our talks.   She talks a good game and seems to know Los Angeles very well.   She says she is older than me but won’t tell me her age.   We will likely be meeting very soon.  I just hope she won’t turn out to be one of those ‘wicked city women’.   She lives in Beverly Hills and works as a receptionist for a law firm.
I wrote another homemade card for mom and wrote to her while at my work desk, during my break time. December 7, 1989Hi Mom,Look at the enclosed photo.  It’s a picture of the mirror in the living room that I had installed for the entire wall.   Doesn’t it look sharp?   I like the way it looks.   The next step is THE FRENCH DOORS…then that’s it!   I do my aerobics tape in front of my TV.  That’s why there’s all that space in front of the entertainment unit.Tomorrow is my TEN YEAR mark at Pac Bell.   I hate the place.   The job is gross.  I’m determined to get a field sales job elsewhere because this ‘in the office’ stuff is getting to me.I’m looking forward to Christmas weekend.  It will be fun.   Don’t forget our date at MEXICALI ROSE.   We can go on the night I fly-in (Friday) if you take that day off.   Saturday night is okay, also.It was neat calling the other day and hearing Ashley’s voice.  I can’t wait until you and Ash come over to L.A. to visit me.   We can go to Disneyland ‘and stuff’.  I miss our OLE’S WAFFLE SHOP breakfast.   We’ll make up for it next time I’m up or you’re down.   When you’re down we can go to the OLD WORLD RESTAURANT.Oh well, I have to pretend I’m working so I will close for now.Until the next phone call and/or letter.  Love, Michael

I found a cool bike parked on a field ‘card/ with a delicious blueberry pie in the foreground.  I had to mail it to Paloma since I hadn’t replied to her last correspondence yet.  I wrote the following in the card:
Dec. 7, 1989Hi Paloma,La Vielle Ville Reve de l’Argentine is a nice scene.  That’s funny that it took so long for you to receive my cards!  I better put 2 stamps form now on when I don’t have a foreign one.  Sorry.  Oh well, at least you got it.  WOW…Lisa is already 21.  Time flies.
Sherri doesn’t know if it’ll be a boy or a girl—but, of course, you know what we’re all hoping for (boy!).
I like L.A., so far.  Yes, I moved all of my furniture here from Alameda.  My place is smaller than the one in Alameda but it’s nice.  I’ll be flying home for Christmas weekend though.  That’ll be fun.I’m going to Newport Beach with a friend of mine named Alan who lives in Santa Monica.
I’ll keep you posted…I wish we could go bike riding and then pull over for a piece of pie.  Ha-ha.
Later, Love MICHAEL
Alan met me for lunch again near my office at that seafood place.   It’s so nice that he’s willing to come to see me midday because it breaks the monotony of my work day.  In fact, it’s the most exciting part of my day.  It’s just that the time flies so quickly.  I learned that Alan has two daughters.  One daughter is about nine or ten years old.  The other daughter is about six years old.   He’s separated from his wife and a divorce is under way.  He really likes me.  I can tell.   I like him, too.  We may go to Newport Beach for a weekend after the Christmas holiday.  We’ll see.
Dorothy remembered about my ‘ten year anniversary’ at PAC BELL and sent a special anniversary card with these words imprinted on it: BEYOND THE CLOUDS, BEHIND THE RAIN, THERE ARE A THOUSAND RAINBOWS.   ONE IS FINDING ITS WAY TO YOU. Happy Anniversary Michael!You won’t get this card by Dec. 8th but you can be sure I’ll be thinking of you and sending congratulations for hanging in there!   You didn’t think you could do it…but you have!Whatever you do now is all up to you.   The important thing to remember is you have CHOICES!   I’ll continue to cheer you one (as long as you don’t get yourself in the Chevy Station Wagon Syndrome. Ha!In any case, ten years is definitely a cause for celebration.  I hope you managed to do something wild and wonderful to mark the day!   Ember:  The eagle flies strong and free, with keenness of vision!  But then again, who said you wanted to make like a bird?  Ha!Happy Anniversary, Love Dorothy
Alan has also been very encouraging of me, explaining that many people come to L.A to make their dreams come true.   “There’s no reason why you can’t make your dreams come true.”   Alan and I had a HOT DATE to celebrate this Friday night, December 8th.  I was quite excited about it all week.   It was our first real ‘night out’ date other than the initial early evening meeting at MICKEYS.  The Newport Beach day and the couple of lunch meets near my workplace don’t really count.   This will determine ‘in my view’ if we will lead to anything more.   As my friend and former SF co-worker, Carla Guzman, would say, “Why waste your time?”
And so…my doorbell rang.  I answered my phone but didn’t press ‘9’ to let Alan come up to my pad.  Instead, I said, “I’ll be right down!”Alan was at the door and I walked with him to his parked car around the corner.   “I made a reservation at a place on La Brea called LOUIS XIV,” Alan said.“Okay, great.”“It’s a French restaurant.”
“I’m sure it will be good.”
There were wood floors there and it was dark, romantic and a little bit like a spooky scene from ‘Dark Shadows’.   I liked the chandeliers and the red velvet curtains and overall feeling of it.   We were seated at a table of two on the upper level.   The waiter asked if we’d like to see a wine list.Alan answered, “Yes.”
He seemed to know wines to a certain extent and chose a Chateauneuf-du-Pape.   It tasted delicious with the steak frites we ordered.   We had some very interesting conversation.   I chose to cut-to-the-chase.  I’ve been burned before in other relationships and I didn’t want to waste my time (or his), so I asked the most vital question in my book.  His answer would depend on how I would feel about him.I asked, “Is there really a future in a man-to-man relationship?”Alan hesitated a moment and said, “I don’t see why not?”I was quite surprised that he said this.  It meant he was open to ‘us’.  I was still finding myself.   Did I really know what I wanted myself?   He was so interesting to me.   This first evening was great.   The wine helped to loosen us up, too. I excused myself to go to the restroom and there was a hip guy in a black leather jacket and boots at the next urinal to mine.  It was that actor from that sexy Kim Basinger movie called “Nine ½ Weeks”.   After I told Alan about it I remembered his name as Mickey Rourke.   Alan didn’t seem too phased by it.   I had a mini-star struck feeling but he looked like a biker dude type in real life.  After dinner I ran upstairs to get my West Hollywood Parking Permit so that Alan could park freely across the street.   He came up to my place and I think he was a little surprised that I owned the condo.  I guess he thought I was just renting an apartment.   We kissed and it was nice.   He stayed the night and left in the morning.
We went for Sunday morning breakfast at a place nearby, and then he left for Santa Monica.   I wanted to spend more time with him.  I think he felt the same but it was probably good for us to have a little space to think things over.  I knew I would speak to him later that night over the telephone.
A couple of days later I received a cool card and package from my Alameda bicycle riding pal, Birda. 12-10-89  Michael,I was out shopping and saw this bike.  I had to get it for your new home.  The fake plant was an afterthought for some Christmas Cheer.  After the New Year you’ll have to get a green plant.  I would have sent one but I don’t think it would have made it alive by mail.  Hope everything is wonderful.  Hope your holiday happiness hits a new high!Always, Birda
I loved the bike and the plant.   It was so thoughtful of her.   I feel quite lucky.The next day I made another postcard for my mom with a basted turkey photo.   I wrote:
Mom:I can’t wait for your Xmas dinner.  Do you remember this card?   And how do you like my return address label stickers?   I shouldn’t write to you so often because I can’t be using up all of my stamps you know. Ha-ha.  I still haven’t bought Leigh or Holly anything.  I’m taking a pretend legal/doctor appointment on Thursday, so I may go to the Beverly Shopping Center to look around.   Yeah…Newport Beach was nice.   It reminded me a little bit of Carmel-by-the-Sea.   I’ll keep you posted on the latest ‘happenings’ as always.  I already got a tan from my Orange County Coastal visit.   I really feel like I’m on vacation and it doesn’t end.  Ha-ha.  I just hate this place (you know where that is:  WORK).  I hope Lee Bell from BOLD & THE BEAUTIFUL offers me a job.  I’m dreaming’.Love You, Michael
I didn’t mention Alan too much in the card.  Mom already knew I’d gone to Newport Beach with him as I had mentioned this when we talked on the telephone.   My time with Alan goes so swiftly that it really does always feel like I’m on vacation.  He’s a lot of fun.
The following day I received another Christmas card (the homemade kind) from my ex-roommate and pal from Alameda (Michael G Miller). 12-12-89Michael,MERRY CHRISTMAS 1989 (written in crayon with a PEACE symbol).Here’s a card for the season.  I hope West Hollywood suits you well.  I’m sure you’ll probably have had enough of the scenes on the card by now but I couldn’t resist.  Happiness to you during the holidays and always.  Maybe I’ll see you for New Year’s 1990 down in the L.A. area.P.S.  There’s significance in the tilted PEACE sign up above.  Significance to me at least in that there are too many PEACE signs around today making them meaningless.   So I made my own style for the real PEACE (I guess).  Or how about for the originality…so much for that subject.Take Care.  Michael M. from Alameda.
“First feelings are always the most natural.”--Louis XIV, 
King of France from 1643-1715.

A BIG GAME

People everywhere are basically the same, no matter their ethnic group, language, religion, food, or dress.--A GIFT TO MY CHILDREN by Jim Rogers
I was distressed with the Pac Bell Directory ACO (Account Collections Office) here in Los Angeles.   I would bridge my old time on December 8th and soon be vested with ‘10’ years with the company.   On that date my mind is an open field.  If things don’t change for me there I’m going to look for new employment.   I sent mom a postcard with the latest update.
Nov. 29, 1989Hi Mom,I just had a talk with my new manager.  I suggested she promote me as a TEMP MANAGER and/or TRAINING MANAGER here because of all of the idiotic work being done here.   I also explained on 12-8-89 that I may be seeking new employment.  I needed to let her know where I stand.  I guess we’ll see.   I really want OUT OF HERE anyway.   Even if they promote me it’s not going to make it better.   What a game!  That’s what life is sometimes…A BIG GAME.   I miss you.   And ‘save’ this card.  It’s one of my favorite films (CAT PEOPLE).   Do you remember the movie?   We ought to rent it again.Later, Love You,Michael
I found a cute couple image (near palm trees) in a magazine and the male model was Brian Buzzini.  I only knew his name because John Tuzziano educated me with that fact.  I clipped it and made it into a card for Paloma.  I wrote ‘To Paloma from Palm Avenue, West Hollywood’:
Hi Paloma!I saw the AMERICAN GIGOLO last night.  And I do recall seeing the first fifteen minutes before…but this time I watched it all.   It was great!  Good sensual scenes…and I can relate to his taste for nice things and living comfortably.  It also makes you realize LIFE IS TOO SHORT and that we should value our freedom.  I mean…the guy who fell down that building and his close call to going to prison…Wow!   Great movie.  Here’s another homemade card…me and a date to the beach.  Ha-ha.Thinking of You, Lots of Love, Michael.
It was Friday night, December 1st and I chose to remain home in my pad, realizing I’d be “beaching it” with Alan tomorrow.   I spoke to Alan on the phone and I’m excited to see where he lives and go to Newport Beach.    I wrote mom another postcard:12-1-89
Almost 1990 Mom!Try not to worry about me.  I noticed you asking me if I ate and if I’m forgetting things, etc., etc.  You fear the worst, I know…a relapse of way back when…but it will NEVER happen.  I won’t let it.  I do miss you and all but we are only a thirty-five minute flight apart.  My friend, John Tuzziano, from CHINO (Orange County) is coming over tomorrow night and we’re going to a dance/bar place he knows in L.A.  And tomorrow is the big fridge delivery day…then the beach, scoping string bikinis with Alan.   Things are going well.  I love the palm trees here.  It gets dark early (yuck!) but that’ll change soon.  This is what we’ll be seeing again soon—in 1990—a new baby ARMIJO!!!Love You, Michael
December 2, 1989Saturday MorningI was happy that SEARS arrived early and my new refrigerator was installed and in working order.   I immediately called Alan to let him know that it was delivered and that I was ‘on my way’.
I arrived at SEA COLONY in Santa Monica in a timely manner and we departed in Alan’s black Mercedes convertible.   I liked his car but I’m not too impressed by the likes of what one drives.  In my opinion it’s always ‘who’s behind the wheel’ and not ‘what the wheels are’.   Still, it was enjoyable ride.  I especially liked how we went to Balboa Island.  Alan drove the car onto a ferry where we were transported to the other side, into Newport Beach.   That was impressive.  I couldn’t help think of Laura Munoz (John Wayne’s granddaughter) because I knew she had grown-up in this area.Alan and I drove his car to a small cottage house that faced the beach.  It was a quaint house and apparently he owned it…with his wife.  Yes, Alan is married but he’s recently separated.  We walked in and around Newport Beach.   I really liked the area.   As we walked we had an interesting conversation. I asked him, “So…what’s your nationality?”“I’m Jewish,” Alan answered.I always thought of Jewish-ness as a religion, so I still wasn’t quite clear.“Yes, but where are your parents and grandparents from?   For example, my heritage is from SPAIN.”“I’m Jewish,” he repeated.“Okay…but where was your mother born?”“Oh, New York.”“And your grandparents…her parents?”“They came from Russia.”“Okay, now we’re getting somewhere…where was your father born?”“New York.”“And his parents…where were they born?”“In Moscow…but we’re Jewish.”“Oh, okay.” I recalled an ex-boyfriend/medical student from the early 80s named Howard Edelstein that I'd met in North Oakland while he was attending UC Berkeley.  He made a point of speaking out as to how he was Jewish, too.   I always used to think that Jewish men were not circumcised but I realized I had that mixed-up.   They are circumcised.  And so…I guess I’m sort of Jewish, too.  I thought and laughed to myself. Alan suggested a place for lunch after he asked if I liked seafood.   We drove to a place and I said, “The Crab COCKER?”
Alan laughed.   It was actually called THE CRAB COOKER but the neon lights made it look like CRAB COCKER.   The white clam chowder was delicious.  This was one popular place.   Despite the wait we had a great time there and I really enjoyed Alan’s company.  He was interesting.  He was a bond trader with a company called KIDDER PEABODY before he branched out into commercial real estate.   I recalled working in Business Marketing and setting up installation telephone service orders for some commercial real estate companies, so I did know a tidbit about a his business.   I didn’t want to pry too much.  I figured he’d share if and when he wanted to do so. We did our lay out by the beach for sun rays in front of his house and then we headed back to Santa Monica at around 6 o’clock.   I knew John Tuzziano was coming at around 10PM to go to that CATCH ONE night club, so I had plenty of time.  Our first beach discovery outing was really fun.   We agreed to a meeting again.  Alan may be able to drive out to mid-Wilshire to have lunch with me next week.   I’m excited about that.   Upon my arrival back to West Hollywood I found a postcard from Paloma.  It was a BIKE postcard.  She was flashing back to her days in the Bay Area and teasing me ‘once again’ about be attracted to younger girls.
…In fact, you can already go out with Lise.  She just turned 21.   I remember when I arrived in Berkeley and she was still playing with dolls.   Alison was Jonathan’s age.   When is Sherri—forget this question—I just found a card saying she was due in April or May 1990.  Do you already know if it’s a boy or a girl?
How do you like your new life in L.A.?  Did you move all of your furniture from the place I knew in Alameda?  I’m going to be in Paris on the 22nd for Christmas.   We’ll go to other places in France, too…and maybe to Spain for a weekend (it’s only a 2/3 hour drive from here).  I’ll let you know.  Miss you.  Love, Paloma
December 5, 1989Alan met me at 3470 Wilshire (the building I was working in).  He parked in front and I hopped in and I guided him to a cool little seafood joint.  I only had an hour and our time went by so fast.  At least I was able to see him.   We confirmed a dinner outing for this Friday night, so I have that to look forward to.  Friday is December 8th and I explained to Alan that is my 10-year anniversary at Pac Bell, so it’s another reason to celebrate. When I returned home I found a sweet “Holy Shit! I liked your gift!” card in my mailbox from Dorothy Rua:
Michael!A gift for Christmas!   What a wonderful surprise!  I couldn’t wait…my curiosity got the best of me, so I opened it.   What…..?   A cucumber T-shirt?   How perfect!   What deep, dark alley do you travel to find this stuff?   I can just imagine you chuckling while trying to imagine me explaining this gift to “Mr. Rua” and why you and I think it’s wonderfully outrageous.  You’re great!  I love it—some of those statements are so true!  Thanks.
Where do I wear my T-shirt?  L.A.?  Hawaii?  Definitely not amongst the “POD PEOPLE” in suburbia!  Maybe I’ll wear it when I visit my friend, Kathy, in Alameda.  The X-Large size would also make it comfortable to wear to bed!

Needless to say, the office gang I work with would get a kick out of this gift.   They’d probably chip in and buy me a cucumber!   Speaking of the gang I work with…I walked into the office yesterday and found a large cluster of mistletoe hanging above my desk.   I wouldn’t mind if there was a half way decent guy in the group but that isn’t the case.   They’re fun to work with but I have to admit I’m a little more selective when it comes to exchanging bodily fluids!   I’ve worked with some guys that made me wish I had some mistletoe handy but not this bunch!  Anyway…Again, many thank for the terrific gift!  If the rest of my holiday season continues along the same way you’ve started it, it’ll be great fun!Much Love, DorothyP.A. I liked the wrapping too.  CLASSY!
John Tuzziano arrived at 10PM and he looked rather classy in his outfit. We headed out in my car to an area of L.A. known as the Crenshaw district.  I seemed to recall that Alan had said he owned a Medical Building in this area.   The club known as CATCH ONE was already bustling when we arrived.  There were a lot of Afro-Americans there and it was clearly gay but there was a good mix of women there, too.  I felt like I fit in well given that I had a fresh, dark tan from my recent visit to Newport Beach.  Ha-ha.   
I didn't see Madonna but I liked when they played her song LIKE A PRAYER.   We ordered drinks and it was fun to just browse the scene.  It was so different and very hip and cool (as John had defined it).  I especially loved when they played the song SHE DRIVES ME CRAZY by the Fine Young Cannibals.  I couldn't help but dance to that one.   We didn't stay until closing.  I was tired, so we headed back to my place.  John left and we chalked up a fun, extraordinary dance outing.
“He has everything.  He’s one of those men I call “the well-endowed”.  He has an extraordinary animal magnetism, a handsome head, silver threads among the gold now, of course, but there’s still a look of youth about him…”
--The Pure And The Impure by COLETTE

Chapter II of the MJA Story

“It’s been drummed into us that certain things are right and certain things are wrong.   It’s usually the wrong things that are more fun.”--John Galliano, Fashion Designer
November 22, 1989Thursday, Thanksgiving Day (November 23rd), is closely approaching and I’m looking forward to going back to Alameda for the family and food.   I’ve already advised my newfound local friend, Alan, that I would call him when I get back on Sunday or Monday once I return.  Upon my return to Los Angeles I would find a letter in my mailbox from one of my former coworkers in San Francisco (Gloria Romero).   It was sweet of her to think of me.  There were no images or pictures…just a handwritten letter:
11-22-89Dearest Michael,It’s Wednesday afternoon, the day before TURKEY DAY, and I’m not at work.   Guess what?  I had to go to Kaiser as of last night.  I started to bleed from the rectum.  Wow!   I was frightened.  Now I’m ok.  I am now at home and will be taking tests on Monday and Thursday of next week.  It may be just a ‘polyp’.   I will know next week.   I was sure not expecting this to occur.  It just came all of a sudden.   I’m taking care of it but what a way to start my letter off to you!   I received your card as I returned from the Doctors’ office.  It cheered me up.  THANK YOU, Michael.   I needed that and such a pretty card.  I’m so glad to have received it at this time.  I’m somewhat nervous over this but I’m sure all will be fine.  I wish it were next week—you know me.  I’m never ill.  Well, enough of that.You will enjoy your new home in the Southern California area.  Do try to get up to Big Bear City during this winter.  It’s a beautiful area for skiing.   I wish you all the best, fun and happiness in your new home.   I’ll miss you.The day is gloomy but I’m looking forward to your next card to brighten my day.  I’ll give you a telephone call when I finish (getting the results of the tests).  What will they do without me on the job?   June is on vacation.  Well, anyway…that’s that.Enjoy your TURKEY DAY.  I’m going to eat up all I can.   I will be on liquids as of Saturday (in 2 days, Gosh!).   I’ll be starved because of those tests.   What one has to go through.   That over ’50 mark’ does it—old age—but I feel young, keeping a good look on things and knowing a friend like YOU.With Love,Your Friend, GloriaPS-George says “HI” and will be having dinner at my home soon.  He’s painted the bedroom (started today).  You can fly up for a visit…looking forward to a nice evening all together.  
November 23, 1989  Thanksgiving Festivities
I arrived at mom’s house late Wednesday night.   Thanksgiving morning was fun as John, Sherri and the girls finally arrived.  I had my Polaroid and the snaps I took ‘explains the fun and joy’ we all had.
November 24, 1989
The Day AfterThe following day there were plenty of leftovers and Tony, Helen and the girls popped over to take advantage of it.   I didn’t think I’d be hungry the next day but I somehow found an appetite.   My bike is in L.A. now, so I couldn’t go for a morning ride—but that’s okay.  I enjoyed spending time with mom, Tony, Helen and the girls.   We watched a movie and lounged after we stuffed ourselves once again.
Mom and I went to the movies the following day to see BACK TO THE FUTURE Part II.  Mom loved it because part of the film took place during her heyday of the 1950’s.  I really enjoyed the going to the future parts.  I am so into ‘the future’.








On Sunday I called Alan quietly from my mom’s bedroom phone, realizing that I’d heading back to L.A. this evening.   Alan didn’t answer the phone.  Instead, I reached his answering machine.   I simply left a voice mail message”“Hi Alan…it’s Michael.  In case you don’t remember I met you the other night and I promised I’d call you because you had mentioned you’d like to show me some of the beaches I have yet to see.   I’m still in the Bay Area but I’ll be back late tonight, so call me when you get a chance and maybe we can set a date to meet up.”Upon my arrival back to West Hollywood I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to feeling a tinge of loneliness.  It’s not easy moving from one’s familiar surroundings.  It will take some time to get used to it.   I was happy to find a postcard from a former PAC BELL coworker and friend (Barbara Louise Reynolds) in my mailbox.   The postcard is a stunning favorite because it’s an image of a PARIS CAFÉ that was photographed the year I was born (1959).  I simply LOVE the postcard image!
Wow…What a move!   Of course I’d love to visit you.  Great card you made!   Thanks.  Yes, I’m still working in S.F.   Are you still working?   Are you living alone?   I’ve sure thought about talking with you.   So much has been happening.   I drove to YOSEMITE with Alice yesterday.  Tomorrow we drive home.  It’s great to be here.  Good place to walk.KEEP IN TOUCH. Barbara
November 28, 1989
I started working on my painting again after my work day and also created a card to mail to mom.  The image was clipped from a magazine and it depicted a ragged young gentleman who had a poor posture and seemed ‘down in the dumps’…sort of how I was feeling.  It looked like he was at a train station and a motherly woman was seated at a bench, looking at him.   I wrote:
11-28-89Hi Mom,This is how I look going to work.  No, not really…it’s not that bad but it could get that bad…That’s why I’m planning NOW for a job change!  I figure my degree will come in handy.  In fact, I sent my resume out to a couple of places last night.  I have an appointment on 11-30-89 with a Personnel Agency to see if they can get me a position at an Advertising Agency.   Who knows?   It’s so nice here!   On the radio it said it was really windy but I don’t know where that was because when I leave my pad at 7AM the sun is shining and ‘at work’ the sun shines bright through my window.   Miss you.Love, Michael
A day or two later I was happy to find a letter from Dorothy Rua.  I loved the BLUE MERMAID card titled “Sea Dreams” that she found for me.
11-28-89Hi Michael!I received your 11-21-89 card on the 24th—neat picture!   Looks like YOUR boots but who’s the “lovely” in pink wrapped around you?It’s hard to believe you made so many changes happen just since July!  I’m really happy for you!   I can imagine how frustration some of your days must be right now---with the sunshine and palm trees all around while you’re at your desk indoors.   Think positive, with your persistence CHAPTER II of the MJA STORY can’t be far off.   It may even lead you right smack into Beverly Hills! Sounds like you’re making good use of your free time, taking in all the sites in the area.  I miss you.  And…if/when I ever get down there we’d have a great time!   What I wouldn’t give to be this mermaid so I could just swim on down!  Then I’d conveniently turn fins to legs and walk for miles on the beach with you.…talking about eventually…dreams, other people on the beach and how winning the LOTTO would change our attitudes of work, etc.   For future reference, is there a decent MOTEL near your home?  Don’t tell me about the ones that charge an hourly rate.  Ha-ha!I went to my friends’ wedding after I spoke with you Friday.  The ceremony  was quite nice, especially since it wasn’t long!   It was a beautiful night for the “Yacht” reception.   The views of the S.F. Sausalito, etc. were magnificent!  I felt so FREE, standing on the deck, watching all of the lights and bridges as we passed by.   Glad I went…I enjoyed myself in spite of the musical trio that included a flute player!   Thank goodness they didn’t provide the dance music (?). As far as my job goes, some days I get excited about my work and other days I get frustrated.  Once a month we all gather for a Corporate Meeting.  Last month the scheduled speaker was a representative from BANK OF AMERICA.   She opened by asking about the problem we are having with their underwriting guidelines, making it tough for us to sell their loan programs.  Most of us were very intent on getting those problems resolved, so you can imagine how hard I laughed when she started playing music and stripping!   All the way down to her ‘teeny weeny undies!   Apparently, it was a surprise for my manager!   It was his anniversary with the company.   Arrangements were made by the V.P. without the President’s knowledge.   The President was NOT happy and apologized to the few females in the room.   I still laugh when I think how we were all fooled—a hired stripper, posing as a Bank of America Rep.!
The enclosed cartoon was passed around our office recently by yet another employee with a sick sense of humor.   It made me think of you and those rich “mature” Beverly Hills ladies (?).Also, I’ve enclosed a little something to help you keep your spirits up.  Keep them close by to remind you of your dreams.   Dreams that WILL come true!   Thinking of You…Love, DorothyPS-What’s the name of that blue drink you enjoy?And…if your name wasn’t MICHAEL what would you choose it to be?
I was ecstatic when the phone rang.   I was thrilled to hear his voice.  I thought he may have forgotten about me and that he might fall into the category of “plastic people” in L.A. that I have heard so much about.   I was wrong.   Alan called me.   His surname is Freiman.  He lives in Santa Monica and I will drive to his place this Saturday afternoon (once my refrigerator is delivered from SEARS) and he will drive to Newport Beach in Orange County to show me one of his favorite beaches.   I’m looking forward to get to know this guy a little better.   I’ve mentioned my meeting of him to mom.
I said, “Yeah mom…there’s a local bar/restaurant near here called LE DOME.   I went there for a drink and met a local guy named Alan who was really nice.  We are going to the beach.”  I couldn’t tell mom how I met him at a ‘boy bar’ on Monday night, November 20th.    I mean, we are clearly in the INTRO stage and who knows if he’ll be a friend for very long anyway.
I also spoke to my friend, John Tuzziano, in Orange County (Chino Hills, CA)  I met him a year or so ago at the gay bar known as RAGE.  I was standing on the corner in my bike shorts and he approached me while he was with some other friends.  I found him so nice—and it was refreshing when he came over given that I was too shy and didn’t know a soul.  Now that I’m living here he will come to visit this Saturday night (December 2), also…at 10PM or so and we will go to a nightclub for dancing that he knows about.   I’m excited about this coming weekend. I was feeling happy.  I pulled out my Word Processor and decided to type and printout Paloma a long letter.   I wrote:
November 28, 1989Tuesday Evening, 5:20PMDear Paloma:I received your nice letter with the two postcards (the scenic one of Sete, En Parcourant La Cote Mediterranean and the neatly parked bike in the shadows).   Great cards!  Needless to say, it’s nice to come home after work and find something personal from a dear one (in FRANCE, no less) in my mailbox.  Just for that I decided to pull out my word processor (because it has been gathering dust) and use it for a lengthy letter to you.  I hope you’ll enjoy.
I really have a lot to say and it is easier to use this thing.   WOW…future technology used by MICHAEL (I still say it’s kind of nice to get something handwritten but I won’t stop that either).   I’m listening to my George Michael disc (FAITH) as I type.  I used this word processor last night, in fact.  I was polishing-up my resume and writing cover letters.  I may have mentioned to you that on 12-8-89 I will have been with PACIFIC BELL for “10” years (too long, believe me).   Anyway, I have an appointment on Thursday at STAR PERSONNEL AGENCY in Beverly Hills and they may be assisting me in finding a new job.  I’ve held about six different jobs while at PAC BELL but I’ve been at this job for ‘3’ years and I’m just tired of it.  I want to see about getting into an Advertising Agency and/or field sales.   My last ‘3’ positions at PAC BELL have all telemarketing-related.   I’m ready to go out and meet people face-to-face.   I put out a few cover letters and resumes last night for a Field Sales Rep opening with Buena Vista Video, a subsidiary of WALT DISNEY that sells videos to various video shops throughout the L.A. area.  That might be fun.   I also put in for an Executive position with PAC TEL CELLULAR and a Field Sales job with them as well.   They sell car phones.  That might be fun.  And then, maybe something will come out of this Personnel Agency.  I just have to get out of PAC BELL because I feel claustrophobic there (like I’m going nowhere).  They’ll be hurting when I’m gone.I know  you’re probably thinking ‘what’s with Mike’, wanting to do all of these things:  psychologist, counselor, model, actor, field sales…’make up your mind’.   Well, the psychologist idea flaked-out because I don’t want to go to school anymore.   The counselor stint was going to require less school but after taking a couple of courses at the University of San Francisco (USF) the fellow students (future counselors—mind you!) were kind of STRANGE!   And so, I’ve decided to pursue the model/actor a bit.  After the big staged Fashion Show in San Francisco I got a lot (5) call backs from interested agents—but only two in L.A.   I haven’t contacted the two in L.A. since I’ve been here but I still may do so.   I did send some photos to a local Casting Agency that’s just around the corner and they never called me.   They must get a million per day.   So…no, I haven’t given up—but first things first.   Time will tell.   It’s all a matter of getting an agent around here (I guess).  I’m in the right area.  I feel it.  I’ve gone out and felt people look at me once or twice while I’ve been driving.  I guess they think I may be someone famous or something.  Ha-ha.  I’m special—but I wouldn’t call myself famous.  So, we’ll see.  I’ve only been here a week and a half and I’m at least working on a new career outside of PAC BELL.   That’s a step in the right direction.And funny you should mention Dennis Quaid and Ellen Barkin as I saw a great film with Ellen Barkin and Al Pacino a month or so ago called SEA OF LOVE.  Look for it!   It’s great.  Oh…time to put a new disc on.   All right!  My UB 40 disc which includes RED RED WINE is perfect for right now. 
Anyway, like I was saying…do you know who MEG RYAN (the actress) is?  Well, she recently became engaged to Dennis Quaid.  They were in a film called DOA and INNERSPACE together.  She was recently on WHEN HARRY MET SALLY.   Last Friday, while I was at work I pulled up a few Employment Agency Telephone numbers on my computer to make sure they were an ‘okay’ business (paid their bills on time, etc).   I learned that one telephone number was disconnected in July 1989 and it belonged to MEG RYAN, the actress!   I quickly pulled up her account and cross-referenced telephone numbers that she has called (along with any other reference number I could find).   Her new forwarded number was 213-462-1252.   I thought I’d pull that account up and ‘low and behold’ it belonged to actor, Dennis Quaid.  That is his telephone number at his address 16162 Glen Oak #3, L.A., CA 90068.  He has two other telephone numbers:  213-462-1133 and 213-462-5797.   Do you believe it?   Am I a good private eye or what?  And another interesting thing is that he has his bills sent to an accountant on Sunset Blvd (around the corner from where I live).  He must live nearby because his zip code is 90068 and my zip is 90069.   I haven’t figured out where Glen Oak Street is yet.  Anyway, that was good dirt, huh?I hate it during November through March because it gets dark so early.  It’s 5:45PM right now and it’s already dark!  I feel like I have to go to sleep and get up and go to work again (when I’d rather go bike riding).  I haven’t’ even ventured on my bike in the Beverly Hills flats neighborhood.   I want to ride by Glen Oak too.  
I did go bike riding on 11-19-89 (a Sunday) to Venice Beach.  I got a flat tire in West L.A. on my way back home.  Boo-hoo.  Luckily, I found a bike shop and they fixed my flat.   They let me take my bike home as long as I came back to pay them.   That was nice.  I never went back to pay them though.  ONLY KIDDING!   I drove my car straight away and paid them!I went home for Thanksgiving.  It was a 5 ½ hour drive.  I left at 8:30AM and got there at 2PM.   Yes, I guess I did speed but the freeway was packed over Thanksgiving weekend and everyone seemed to be speeding.  I went along with it.  I better slow down though.  I don’t need any speeding tickets.For HALLOWEEN I was moving-in here.  My friend (Dale Orlando, the heavy-set guy) came from Florida and helped me to move.   That night I dressed as a doctor with blood dripping from the side of my lip with vampire fangs (and a surgeon mask).   Dale dressed as a nurse.  He was a hit.  It was pretty fun.  They closed-off the Santa Monica Boulevard here in Los Angeles and a bunch of people were in costume.   A lot of them weren’t in costume.  I got tired though because moving-in the day before was a lot of work.  I’m not as young as I used to be (like when I met you on HALLOWEEN 1983).   And to think you didn’t even change my diaper that night!   What a mean cave woman you are!   Oh…what a coincidence…RED RED WINE just came on.  What timing!  I miss you.Yes, I like the LAMBADA…but I can’t remember how it goes now.I found you and Jonathan a Christmas gift but you probably won’t’ get it until after Christmas because I left them at my mom’s house.  I have to wrap them and stuff, then go to the post-office.   I won’t be flying back home to Alameda until 12-22-89.   I will fly back here to L.A. the night of 12-25-89 because I have to work on 12-26-89 (UGH!).   I didn’t get Alexandre anything but tell him I’ll treat him to a drink and dinner when I go to FRANCE and/or when you come here (whichever comes first).  Ha-ha.   Lucky Jonathan with getting a car and all.  I promise I won’t ask how old Jonathan is again.  My nieces, Leigh and Holly, are 1 ½, so he’s one year older.   That’s easy.Before I moved here to Los Angeles I thought I had a few friends but I guess I don’t.  It’s kind of lonely sometimes but no more lonely than up north.  I like living here so far.  I do have a couple of friends in the Orange County area.   They’ve called a few times; however, I am in Los Angeles (and to Orange County folks that’s a major trip with traffic and all).   Actually, I am in West Hollywood.   From what I’ve learned so far it is these cities that are easy to access without getting on a freeway:    Venice Beach, Santa Monica Beach, Santa Monica, West LA, LA, Beverly Hills, West Hollywood and Hollywood.
Disneyland is in Anaheim (which is in Orange County).   I would estimate that this is thirty-five minutes from me, depending on traffic conditions.  My street has a bunch of palm trees on it.  I live walking distance from SPAGO, a popular celebrity bar/restaurant and another place called NICKY BLAIR’s that Sylvester Stallone half-owns.   I’ve been there for a few drinks but haven’t seen one celebrity that I’ve recognized yet.  I’m not really that star struck though (otherwise I wouldn’t be spending my Tuesday evenings in front of my word processor writing to you).  Ha-ha.On Friday or Saturday I may go to a place called CATCH ONE.  It is supposedly an “IN” spot and many celebrities go there.   The guy I know from Orange County said he saw Madonna and Warren Beatty there last month.  He was dancing this close (one-inch) to Madonna.  Wow…thrills.   And Rodeo Drive is about a five minute drive from here.   I only shop at the THRIFTY DRUGSTORE around the corner from Rodeo Drive because those shops are expensive:  a $250 shirt, for example.   There are a lot of French-like boutiques I have noticed.  People seem to wear neat, trendy stuff.   I still mix and match something old with something new.   I noticed some outdoor restaurants like they have in France around here, too.   It makes me think of us riding around all over Paris in your car. I forgot to tell you I did see THE BIG EASY movie.  I never did see all of the AMERICAN GIGOLO.   There are two video stores across the street from me and tonight is one-dollar night, so I’m going to go rent it.   I never saw BREATHLESS but something tells me you’re a Richard Gere fan.   I understand you perfectly.   Why did you ask if you were hard to understand?   Anyway, I want to go rent the AMERICAN GIGOLO movie now to see what you mean about his taste for beautiful things.   Who knows?   Maybe I’ll seek out a rich Beverly Hills ‘old bag’ and be her gigolo.  Ha-ha.   My ‘favoring’ you ties-in directly to my taste for beautiful things (if you know what I mean).   You are a beautiful, sensual one!  Oh well…hope that video is there.I’ll also mail this now.  Until the next time…Love You,Michael J ArmijoHello to J and A
“I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don’t want to pull a muscle, so I stretch a lot.   That’s why I’m constantly either rolling my eyes or yawning.”--Jarrod Kintz, author

A Local Stranger: ALAN

It’s a dialogue…NOT a debate on some dreary set theme.   You can talk about anything and change the subject as often as you like.   In fact, what really matters is NOT what you talk about, but the being together in this particular relationship.  He can’t imagine having a dialogue of this kind with a woman, because women can only talk in terms of the personal.--Christopher Isherwood, A SINGLE MAN
It’s Wednesday in L.A. and I love to check my mailbox in hopes of getting a letter during my lonely existence in Southern California.   Today. I was surprised to get a few postcards.  One was from Denmark from Soren V Loueuschoild Langelund (from “Tarnholm”, Gl. Kongeven 144, 1850 Frederiksberg, DENMARK).   He’s the older guy (maybe late 30s or early 40s) that I met at Hamburger Mary’s in San Francisco the time I went there with Lottie Powell.   Soren operated a student exchange business.   He sent a nice postcard.    Who knew that he’d remember me?  I imagine he only wrote because I had sent him a postcard a few weeks ago.  In any case, Soren wrote and I enjoyed reading a new, foreign correspondence from a faraway land: Dear Michael,Thank you very much for you postcard.  It was lovely to hear from you again.   I’ve not forgotten you and I still look forward to meeting you again.   I’ve been on the move for a long time now but I am starting up a new meeting in New Orleans.  It will be pending for the next student exchange.  This is in Copenhagen.   Lots of Love, SOREN
I also received two postcards from two of my 4th Grade students that I used to tutor and inspire to write in San Francisco at the Redding Elementary School at 1421 Pine Street.    One was a scene of the Golden Gate Bridge and the other was an inspiring watercolor of a ‘dog and a seagull’ on a secluded beach that I really loved.
Dear Mr. Armijo,Hi!   Sorry I didn’t write to you for so long.  I was busy with my school work.   Thank you for your postcard.  Here is a postcard for you.Sincerely, Samantha DuP.S.  I am going to Junior High next year!   Merry Christmas.
Dear Mr. Armijo,This picture reminds me of Los Angeles.   This picture brings to mind a dog chasing a bird.   I would send this postcard to my grandmother.   I would send my postcard to my grandmother because she is my grandmother.   The memory that bought to me when I first saw it was it is TAIWAN.Steven SuIt was now the weekend of November 18th and 19th.  I almost had a fear of going out; however, I had a wonderful solitary ride all the way from West Hollywood to Venice Beach.   
I didn’t want to go out on a weekend night and meet transient types who are visiting from all over the metro L.A. and other San Fernando Valley areas.   I’d rather meet someone local and nearby.   Henceforth, I stayed in and decided to write letters and postcards and work on my painting (while watching a bit of television).    
I did choose to go to my mailbox at one point on Saturday evening and I found a card from Dorothy Rua that made me laugh as it pictured a couple of nuns dressed in their habits and bouncing about along an ocean shoreline.
I also wrote Paloma a postcard that I found while I was in France.   It was time to send it to her because it had that L.A. Palm Tree/Beach look.
November 16, 1989
Dear Paloma,I bought this card while I was with you in PARIS ‘way back when’.I just can’t get away from you because I went to Venice Beach last week and there’s a street called PALOMA!   There’s a song playing in SF on the Modern ROCK Station called SEX TABOO that I really love.  It’s part French.  Have you heard it?  Who’s it by?   I hear there’s one good radio station in L.A. that plays modern music but that it’s not as good as the one in San Francisco.  I guess I’ll find out soon.  Do you like the new US Dinosaur stamps?   Did you get the perfumes I sent you?  I love the palm trees on my street.   Thinking of You.  What does Alexandre say about our steady writing?  Love, Michael
Dorothy Rua wrote:I got a kick out of this one.  It proves that what may be joy to one person may not bring the same reaction to the next!   I love the look on the nuns’ faces.Am I ever going to get this card mailed?   Yes, I’ll do it today.I do hope all is well with you, Michael, and that you’re enjoying both work and class.  Have you made any decisions about staying with this job—or spending more time with graphic design and a possible job in that field?   Again, I wish you had more time to share…miss you!I bet you’re looking forward to seeing your family during the holidays!   Can’t remember when you were coming…They’re probably excited about seeing you, too!   More later…there’s ALWAYS more!Love, Dorothy
Dorothy’s written words about ‘joy to one person may not bring the same reaction to the next’ meant a lot to me.   In fact, it’s funny how a handwritten card/letter means so much to me.   It shows me that someone sat down to actually THINK OF ME.   I find that special and I find much joy in this.   I’ve decided to go out on Monday, November 20th to hopefully meet a local person.   I figure it’s a Monday, so all of the weekend visitors will be gone.  
Oh, and I did submit my ad for meeting someone for lunch in the LA WEEKLY.   Let’s see if I get any feedback from that classified ad.  It will run for a month (four weekly issues).
Monday, November 20, 1989
My first day of work was an easy transition.   As a personal reward I decided to walk down to Santa Monica Boulevard at a ‘boy bar’ called MICKEY’S.   It’s not MICHAEL’S, but it’s close enough.   At approximately 5:30PM it wasn’t very busy.   It didn’t matter as I figured I could chat with the bartender for a bit.   I ordered my standard cocktail of choice: ‘The White Russian’.  
As I sat there and ordered the cocktail the bartender was friendly but not overly friendly.   It’s just as well.   I would sip my drink until I had a buzz.   As time passed it would likely get a bit busier and I’d probably have the guts to make conversation with a stranger.   After a few sips, I turned my head and a stranger sat one seat away from me.  He looked tan and was wearing a baseball cap.   I figured he must be a local.  He’s not dressed-up.  He’s in casual mode.  I glanced my way at him and he looked at me. “What’s that you’re drinking?
“Oh…It’s a White Russian.  You’ve never had one?” I asked.“No, what’s in it.”“It has Kahlua and Vodka and a little cream.  It’s really good.”“Okay,” he instructed the bartender boldly as he pointed to my drink, “I’ll have one of those.”
I felt a kind connection with this stranger in that he would want to taste what I happened to have.  We continued our conversation even though there was an empty seat between us.  I asked, “So…do you live around here?”“Yeah, Venice Beach.”“Oh really…I was just there the other day!   I rode my bike down there. I love the beach.   That’s why I moved here.  I don’t really know the beaches but I want to visit them all.”“Where are you from?”“I’m from Northern California.   I transferred here for work but I really wanted to live here because of the better weather, the palm trees and to get to know the beaches.”I was hoping he’d get the hint.   I don’t know the beaches.“I love the beach, too,” he smiled.  PHOTO:  Alan, A Local Stranger
“What kind of work do you do?”“I’m in commercial real estate.” “Oh,” I replied without knowing much about that business.  “I bet that keeps you busy.”“Yes, and you…what do you do?”“I’ve worked for the phone company but now I’m in Yellow Page Advertising.”  I didn’t feel it necessary to explain how I was in Account Collections with the hopes of moving on to Advertising Sales or something creative like Graphic Design.  He seemed easy to talk to though.  He continued to ask me a few more questions.“Do you work around here?”“Actually, I just started today.  It’s pretty easy because it’s the same job I was doing up North.  I work in the mid-Wilshire area, so it’s easy to get there because I live near here.”When I said ‘I live near here’ I was hoping he didn’t think that was a subliminal invite to my place.   I don’t think he did because he went on to say that he had a business meeting nearby in the next half-hour.  I took another sip of my drink and ordered another.  I was feeling ‘the buzz’.   I was enjoying my conversation with the local stranger.  By now I was feeling comfortable and I moved over and sat on the empty seat beside him.   “Well, maybe you can show me the beaches when you have time, by the way, my name is Michael.”“I’m Alan,” he said.  “Do you like living by the beach?”“Sure.  It’s really nice over in Newport Beach, too…in Orange County.”“Really?  I’ve never been there.   I’ve heard of it though.”
To make a short story shorter we ended up exchanging telephone numbers.   I assured him, “I’m going back to the Bay Area for Thanksgiving this Thursday, but when I get back I’ll call you.”Alan nodded and he left me there at the bar to go out to meet his associate for a commercial real estate meeting in the lobby of the Bel Age Hotel.   I plan to call him.  I loved our introductory dialogue.  After I finished my drink I was just so happy to have met a local stranger.   I felt that I succeeded in what I wanted to do.   Tomorrow was a work day, so I simply walked back up Palm Avenue to my pad to watch a bit of “21 JUMP STREET” at 8PM. 
The next day was a breeze at work but I wasn’t thrilled with the job.  It was simply not a new challenge.   In a way this was good because the move to the new city was enough stimulation for my mind at the moment.   I wrote mom and Paloma self-made postcards.Mom’s postcard depicted a boring bowl of cottage cheese with lettuce garnished around it.
11-21-89Hi Mom,It’s TRUE.  I do miss you already.   By the time you get this card I’ll either be eating leftover Thanksgiving Dinner or starting my diet similar to that pictured on this card.I have to get used to sleeping here.  It seems like I get more rest!   It’s so laid back.   And as far as I know I will be working 8AM-4PM which is GREAT!   I saw an ad (two of them) for SALES REPS for a Health and Fitness Club.  I may try to get one of those jobs for evenings and weekends.   Well, it’s just a thought.That was sweet when you said you missed me too the other night on the telephone.   Well, I already requested vacation next year.  If I get the weeks I wanted you know I’ll probably go down there…or ‘up there’ I mean.   Well, have a great day.   I hear a lot of sirens here!Love, Mike
The postcard for Paloma depicted a couple, lounging together (like us).
11-21-89Hi Paloma,This is only my 4th official day of living here.   The weather has been HOT, too.  I work one more day and then I get Thursday and Friday off for THANKSGIVING.   And, of course, mom’s insisting I come up because Thanksgiving’s just won’t be the same without me.  Ha-Ha.   I want to go anyway.   I’m looking forward to the meal.   Last Sunday, 11-19-89, I rode my bike to Venice Beach.   I’d really like to ride more in the Beverly Hills area but I guess it’ll have to wait until the weekend after next.  How’s the Residence Club?   Is it filling up with residents?  Here’s another homemade card.   Thinking of You ALWAYS, Michael
To my surprise…I received a typewritten (not very personal if it’s not handwritten) letter from an old flame I’d met at my gym in San Leandro, CA…Chad Mark Glen.   I suppose I spurned it on when I mailed him a postcard.  One just never knows who will reply and who will not…Chad Mark Glen1372 McAllisterSan Francisco, CA 94115(415) 921-1967
Michael J Armijo1010 North Palm Ave.West Hollywood, CA 90069
21 November 1989
Dear Michael,I apologize for taking so long to answer you postcard.   I have it prominently displayed on my desk.  I found a picture that I shot of myself a while ago and have enclosed it.   Sorry, but it’s all I have.  I recognized your handwriting instantly.  You have nice handwriting; I don’t, that’s why I type.

I can’t believe that you’ve moved.  I will be moving back to my parents’ house on December 8th.   There was a conflict between one of my three roommates and myself.  The bottom line is that he’s an absolute asshole!  This is not a good time for a move, with the end of term research projects and papers due.   This has been one of the reasons that I have taken so long to answer your postcard.
My family is coming into the City tonight to see the Ice Capades.  I had a spare moment before they arrived and wanted to cash this letter off to you.  I will be at my sisters’ in San Jose for Thanksgiving.  Where will you be?  If you’re going to be around for Christmas or New Year’s, let’s try and get together.I am still seeing if I can’t work out a trip to So. Cal, either in December or January.   If you come out here I hope I’m on your list of people to visit.   Write or call soon.  I look forward to hearing from you.  You are missed a great deal!Always, CHAD
I thought of giving Chad a call while back in Alameda for Thanksgiving; however, it’s more of a family-time for me.  I miss my family.  Our ending was rather hurtful and I didn’t exactly feel an impetus to get started on that track again.  However, who knows?   Time will tell.
“The Warrior ACTS…and the fool only REACTS.”“Your feelings and reactions…are automatic and predictable; mine are NOT.   I create my life spontaneously; yours is determined by your thoughts, you emotions, your past.”“To see where something leads, it’s best to wait until you reach the end.”--Dan MillmanWAY OF THE PEACEFUL WARRIOR

Wicked City Women: ANYWAY LETTERS

Love, with very young people, is a heartless business.   We drink at that age from thirst, or to get drunk; it is only later in life that we occupy ourselves with the individuality of our wine.   A young man in love is essentially enraptured by the forces within himself.
-The Old Chevalier,
from SEVEN GOTHIC TALES
by Isak Dinesen
Well, I feel like a full-fledged resident of Los Angeles now (or West Hollywood—shall I say?).   It’s a bit of a lonely existence because I don’t know anyone.  There is a lot going on though.  




I’ve discovered a weekly newspaper appropriately titled LA WEEKLY that I have been looking through.   There is a classified ads section where people pay to post about meeting someone for a relationship or friendship.   I am thinking I will post something under MEN SEEKING WOMEN with the line ‘How about a lunch meet and see where things go?’   Yes, I will do it.  Let’s see if I can meet a decent local gal that way.  I like the idea of suggesting "lunch" versus a dinner which implies going to eat, having coffee and fucking afterwards. 
Work at Pac Bell Directory in Los Angeles is a lot different than the office I came from in San Francisco.   I popped in to get a quick feel for it even though I don’t officially start to work there until Monday, November 20, 1989.  San Francisco was the ‘initial model’ PBD ACO office and this one is behind in terms of progress.   The first-hand feeling for my new coworkers leave much to be desired.   There’s one gal who reminds me of a ‘Wicked City Woman’.  She is a tall blond with a lot of make-up who makes it obvious that she is attracted to Afro-American men.   In my mind I call her a ‘Wicked City Woman’from that I LOVE LUCY episode starring Ernie (Tennessee Williams) who was warned by this mother to watch out for ‘Wicked City Women’: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0WMAf4yPAU  I sure don’t want to meet one of those types.   I hope that isn’t what turns up from my LA WEEKLY ad.


There is also a bar around the corner from me called NICKY BLAIR’s.   I went there for a drink and met a gal who is an attorney.   She works at the Federal Building but she has this ‘high and mighty’ aura.  I wouldn’t call her a ‘Wicked City Woman’though.   She’s more like an ‘I Think I’m ALL THAT Woman’ and I dislike that type too.   She’s not all that great in looks either.  Her law degree seems to be her wild card.  Big deal!
For my therapy I bought an easel and a few canvases and have started to paint using acrylics for my very own personal sort of meditation.   It’s a calming process and I like to do it on my lowly balcony with music playing.   I am using some of Paloma’s postcards as inspiration for what I might paint.   She always sends such unusual images.PHOTO:  Paloma
Paloma wrote another letter.  It’s funny.  I call it one of her ANYWAY LETTERS.   I couple of days later I also received another ANYWAY LETTER from another ‘special someone’.  Here’s an excerpt of Paloma’s ANYWAY letterto get a feel of what was going on in her head in response to my last few letters to her:

…Is it very expensive to go to an Acting School?  I am thinking about that because recently I heard on TV lots of actors saying how they started their careers.   Most of them said they got their part in an Acting School and also lots of them said they answered some ad in the paper.   In France, we have special magazines saying who is going to start a movie, what the Director is looking for and stuff like that for professionals.  I’m sure you have that too in the States.   You probably have already tried all of that.   Anyway…if you really want to be an actor…never give up.
Anyway…what did you do for Halloween?   We met years ago on that night in San Francisco, time flies!  You were young and beautiful then (and I hope you didn’t think that so was I!). 
How is your LOVE LIFE going?   I guess pretty busy since you haven’t been writing much either!   Are you going to SF for Christmas?   That must be fun with all of your nieces (but expensive!).   We are going to travel for two months after the 15th of December.   First we’re going to PARIS for Christmas.  Anyway, I’ll tell you where else afterwards because our plans might still change. 
Well, I’ll write again soon.  I’ve got a bunch of new postcards.
What do you think about the WAR?   Would you have to go?   Alexandre would probably go pretty soon if there was one because he was an officer when he did the Army (you know in France you have to do the Army unless you have something wrong).   What do Americans think about the fact that we got our hostages back?   That was probably made to cause trouble.Anyway…write me.   LOVE, Paloma

Paloma’s letters are always a treat.   She keeps my mind ‘alive and kicking’ with a variety of new things from her European sharing.   The big surprise was the next ANYWAY letterI received from the Contra Costa area two days later.   It was a letter from BLAKE BELL, replying to a card that I had sent to her recently.   She actually wrote to me but I found it to be a letter of closure, a sort of an end.  I also dislike a ‘Your Friend’ ending to a letter versus a ‘Love You’.  Blake and I (having met in an acting class in San Francisco) were at an initial dating stage that never seemed to reach the right height but now I’m a Southern Cal boy…but it was sweet to read her words:
PHOTO:  Blake Bell and 'me', August 1989
1283 Shakespeare Dr.Concord, CA 94521
11/9/89,  
Tel:  (415) 676-7507

Dear Michael, I hope all is well with you.   Thank you for your card.  I was surprised and somewhat sad to hear that you had moved so soon.   I hope you have the job you wanted most.

Anyway, I really appreciated the card.  I had to smile as I read it.  You are so kind to me…always.   I don’t know what I did to gain your admiration but you know…my moving from SPAIN was not a big deal to me.   I’ve moved around my whole life.  I’m not sure if I would be able to settle anywhere.

Well, there’s not much new in my life.  I’m still working at THE COPPER SKILLET.   I’ve just been to visit my mother for ‘4’ days.  Unfortunately, I had the flu most of the time I was there but I always enjoy spending time with my mother.   She’s coming to visit me for Christmas, so I’m looking forward to that.
It will be nice to stay in contact with you.   We’ve had a strange friendship in some ways.  I often think of the time I was very upset about the episode at NORTH BEACH and I apologize if I judged you.   None of us are prefect…least of all…me.  I think I just have a deep rooted fear that men in my life will harm me…just as my father did.   I find it hard to trust at times.   I’m sure you will understand what I’m saying.Anyway, it would be nice to visit you sometime—although at the moment I have very little money to spare.   I’m sure you will be visiting your mother from time to time, so maybe I could see you then.

As you know…I still see Robbie.   It’s hard to explain but there is a strong bond between two people that have traveled half way across the world together to find a better life!   Anyway, I don’t know how he will feel about me visiting you although he knows that we still have contact with each other.Anyway, enough of my chatter…I never could keep quiet. 
I wish you the very BEST OF LUCK in your new venture.   Hope all your expectations are met.   Keep in touch.

Your Friend, Blake XXXP.S.  I have personalized plates on my truck now:  BB-1-GB
(Blake Bell-1-Great Britain)

She:  “I didn’t mean to cry when I saw you,” she said.  “I was just having a very bad morning.”  He:  “And here I was, thinking they were tears of joy.”
-WAITING IN VAIN,
a novel by COLIN CHANNER

"Good Dirt"

“Very gently.  Like there are eggshells on your pedals and you don’t want to break them.   That’s how you drive in the rain.”--Garth SteinTHE ART OF RACING IN THE RAIN, a novel
I received a letter from Paloma dated November 1, 1989 that was mailed to me from my mom here in L.A.:
…Are there any perfume bottle collectors in the States?   I’m sure some people collect them there.   I know collectors over here who trade with some but there is no way they’re going to give me their address…maybe around New York?   Can you see that at your work or is it too far?

I didn’t know about your hobby.  You never told me but again…you never tell me anything!   I would love to get one of your paintings.   It will be on my BEST wall.   So if you feel like doing one for me you have my agreement.
Is the Card #2 HOT enough for you?   Next time I go to PARIS I’ll try to find you good ones to be painted.   I might go for Christmas.  I’m back in school now.   It’s a little different because it’s for grown-ups and they pay e.   So far…I like it.Tell me some more about your LIFE.   What are you doing?   How was Halloween?   Happy Anniversary.   Hope to read you soon.   Love, Paloma
And so, I had to write her back.  I was saving a cool card that I made myself of a guy wearing a suit.   It’s what I wear to work each day.I wrote:
Nov. 1, 1989Dear Paloma, I moved my “stuff” here on 10-30-89!   And I got an official job offer in L.A. effective, Monday, 11-20-89.   I will be living here in L.A. officially on November 17, 1989, so you may write me here now:1010 N Palm Avenue #304West Hollywood, CA  90069 I can’t wait to get my first letter from you here.   I like this card (I made it).  It’s how I look on my way to work.  And thanks for the recent BIKE card and photo of Jonathan.  I couldn’t believe how big and grown-up he looks already!   WOW!   You’re a true mommy!  It was great talking to you on the phone.  You sounded the same (sweet and sexy).    That was “good dirt” about your friend that you know who moved to L.A. even if his male ‘prostituting’ sounds risky/scary.   I’m sure he bust be nice though if he knows you!   I haven’t made a lot of friends in L.A. yet.  I’ll have to screen out the good people from the bad…just like anywhere!   A lot of people around here seem to be very money oriented (and possibly manipulative), so it’s best to be careful in meeting new folks.   Oh yeah, for future reference my new tel# is 1-213-652-4621 and it works now (Ha-ha).  Jonathan looked cute in your shoes.   That was funny.  How’s Alexandre?   Keep me posted on the latest…   I’ll fill you in on my here in L.A. as the weeks progress.All My Love,Michael
November 3, 1989: Mom arrived for an extended weekend to help me set-up and organize at my new home that I will officially be living in on November 17th.   I do plan to go back to Alameda from November 23-26th for Thanksgiving though.  Mom was so sweet to fold my T-shirts.   After she folds them they look they were just purchased from the store again.  I took a photo of her in my new living room.   My SORBONNE, PARIS t-shirt was on top of the t-shirt pile.
I drove mom to LAX on November 6th and I stayed in L.A. organizing by unpacking boxes and waiting for my new refrigerator to be delivered. 
There is a washer-dryer down the hall (not in my condo) which I don’t like—but I will have to get used to that.   
I will head back to Alameda for Thanksgiving by car.  Meanwhile, I will simply get my feet wet.  I am bike riding to familiarize but the bicycle terrain is hectic with all of the cars around.  It hasn’t hindered me though.  I still do it.  I am simply more careful because the cars fail to watch for cyclists.   I prefer riding on Saturday or Sunday when the traffic is at a minimum.
I’ve also learned that if you happen to get rain here in L.A. the drivers tend to ‘lose it’.   They don’t know how to drive in the rain and they seem to panic more.   Who says it never rains in Southern California?  It does…sometimes.   Now I have that Albert Hammond song from the early 70’s going on in my mind, IT NEVER RAINS IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-pyC7WnvLT4
On November 6th I wrote another card to Paloma of an image of a house that looks haunted from what looks like the Hancock Park area of L.A.  I will drive via this area to get to my new office in the mid-Wilshire area beginning November 20th.  I’ve already done a few test drives to see how long it will take. 
I’ve combed the BEVERLY CENTER Shopping Center a few times.  I like eating at the counter of the DAILY GRILL.   I also went to the POLO LOUNGE at the Beverly Hills Hotel to see if I’d see or meet anyone special.   The bartender was nice but I didn’t meet anyone.  I returned home to the comfort of my TV/radio.I wrote the following to Paloma after I had mailed her a few miniature perfume samples I found at the BEVERLY CENTER Shopping Center a couple of days ago:
November 6, 1989
Dear Paloma,
The big MOVE-IN is over.  I’m here now and I love it.  I have yet to venture out on my bicycle via more of Beverly Hills but all in due time.  I can’t do everything all at once...now can I? Did you get the gift I sent you recently?  Hope they’re not duplicates but if they are…TOO BAD.If you and Alexandre ever come to visit…you can both sleep in the Queen-sized bed.  Jonathan can sleep on the love seat and I’ll sleep on the couch.   I also have a futon mat, so it’ll work out…OR maybe all ‘3’ of us can sleep in the Queen-sized bed.  Ha-ha.   I hope you’re laughing…but you know me. There’s always from for a laugh and stuff.Have a great day.  Missing You.Love, Michael
Love’s the only thing in this world that is unequivocal.  There are different kinds of love, certainly, but it’s a YOU DO or YOU DON’T proposition with them all.--Harper LeeGO SET A WATCHMAN