Michael Joe Armijo's Blog, page 54

Don't Care That Much About Looks

“Was that your smile or just a reflection of mine?” he asked.
She shrugged her shoulders to mean “whatever”.
“I hope it was the reflection of mine,” he said.  “I wouldn’t like you to smile at me like that before you get to know me.   When you get to know me I’ll know what it means.  Right now I might have the wrong idea.”
-Colin Channer
WAITING IN VAIN, a novel

August 12, 1989, Saturday

I remember that first time I met Paloma on a dancefloor in San Francisco.   She agreed to dance with me and she smiled back at me.   Was her smile a reflection of mine?   All I know is that I loved her green Spanish eyes, her hair and the magnetic smile.   I also remember our escape to Santa Cruz on that one special day.   These memories can never be taken away.   I like to make memories.   The more the merrier.   The only trick is to remember them all.   Everyone should keep a diary or at least take as many photographs as possible. Ever since my Birthday escape over Memorial Day weekend with ‘Jim from the Gym’ and Cwissy to the Santa Cruz-Capitola area I’ve wanted to take my mom for a mini-escape to Carmel-By-The-Sea.  
And so, today was the perfect day to take that excursion with mom.  I went to pick-up mom on her day off and we started early for the drive from Alameda to Pebble Beach.

It was a perfect day.   I managed to get mom to kick off her shoes and feel the sand in her toes.   She liked that.  I could tell.   Our lunch was dreamy and it was a nice Saturday afternoon escape for the two of us. 

I discussed the concept of the possibility of my moving to Los Angeles.   “If a job opportunity comes along I really think I should take it,” I explained.   “I might buy a condo there and you can come to visit on weekends sometimes.  It would be fun.”
She walked feeling the Carmel summer breeze without saying a word.
“Don’t you think it would be fun?” I asked.
“Yep,” mom finally agreed.  

August 16, 1989A staff clerk, Gloria Romero that works with me at Pac Bell Directory left a card on my desk of a young girl on a bicycle.   That was sweet of her.   People do know about my love for ‘the bike’.  Gloria wrote:

8-16-89 Dearest Michael,
On my run –about lunch—I found this card for your card collection.
With Love,
Dear Friend, Gloria

A few days later, Dorothy Rua, sent me a sexy bike postcard.  She wrote:8-17-89
Michael,
It pays to finish in the fast lane…you’d be pedaling fast enough to stay ½ bike behind this racer!!!   Ah…in dreams…but then dreams can come true.

I’m so glad to hear you’re making your other dreams come true.   There’s so much for you to look forward to.   Enjoy the freedom of all those choices ahead of you! I may check out a company for an outside sales job next week which may mean a two-day overnight stay in Sacramento.   Just the same…I hate to travel further east than I already am (in Walnut Creek).   At least it’s not Pittsburg!   Don’t be a stranger…
Love, Dorothy

And then Paloma wrote again.  I so adore her letters.  She took my most recent letter to heart about my idea of becoming a Life Transition Counselor.   I was inspired by this profession during my graduate course at University of San Francisco (Counseling 101).   It’s the latest fancy name for a counselor who helps people that are going through various changes in their life (new career, new romance, loss of a loved one, etc).  Paloma wrote:AGDE, France, le 18 Aout
Dear Michael,
I just got your letter this morning.  Thank You.   At the same time I got a letter from Jean (the Montessori School lady).   She didn’t visit me after all.   They just went to Switzerland and Paris…maybe next time (?).

I’m glad you met a new girl.   Yes, twenty-five is OK, sweetheart.   You’re just getting better all of the time.   If my advice bothers you just let me know.   Just one more thing though:   Don’t care that much about looks.   That’s not what is important.  They won’t last anyway.  Inside beauty will… What exactly is a LIFE TRANSITION COUNSELOR?   Don’t’ you want to be an actor anymore?  What about the acting classes?

Last week I met an American woman (age 33) on the beach.  She comes here every summer with her two daughters.   This year she also came with one of her students.   She is a French teacher.   The student is twenty-two and she is from Sacramento.   I thought about you.   The other one is from Alaska but she lives right now in Davis.   I made them visit my town of AGDE.   That gave me a chance to practice my English which is really getting terrible.   You’d better NOT tell me that it’s never been good anyway! You should see how tan I am.   I go to the beach everyday with Jonathan.   He loves the sea.   We can swim here.   The water is warm.

You’re asking me if it would be OK to come to visit with Jonathan and Alexandre.   Well, there is no problem at all with Jonathan.   I’m sure he’d love to see Uncle Michael.   You can’t imagine how gorgeous he is now.   Totally blond, tan, with really light blue eyes…   I’m in love and it’s not just because I’m his mom.   Everybody talks to him in the streets and tells me that he’s going to be a HEARTBREAKER.   I’m really lucky.   I don’t know about Alexandre.   He’s never really said anything about you.   I’ve always told him that you were just a really good friend.   We’ll find out when you decide to come. Right now I can’t go get your some postcards.   It’s too crowded.   I hate that but I will go pretty soon.   I’ll make a tape of songs for you.   Well, I hope to read you soon. 
Love,
Paloma
Do you remember how we used to laugh together?   I really miss that…

PHOTO:  Virginia M Lucero-Armijo, Ashley M Armijoand Michael J Armijo, August 19, 1989 It was time for the imprint of a new memory.   A photograph of mom, my niece (Ashley) and me in front of mom’s Monte Carlo.   We were going out for a dining escape. 

“Nobody lives forever.   The important thing is to enjoy yourself.”-actress, Rebecca Pigeon
as heard in the 1997 David Mamet film, THE SPANISH PRISONER

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Revival of the Fittest

He too had impulses, fantasies, and desires which ran counter to the laws that governed him, impulses which he had only gradually managed to subdue by hard effort.
-Herman Hesse, THE GLASS BEAD GAME, a novel
THE TWO POLES Chapter

PHOTO:  Jim from the Gym and Cwissy, My genius duo connection when it comes to music and more… I had to laugh at another one of the cards that Dorothy Rua sent me; however, I take it to heart.   It’s so TRUE…always ‘DRESS FOR THE JOB YOU WANT’.    She’s my inspiration as I venture forward towards my hopeful move to Southern California.  Dorothy wrote the following:

8-6-89 Dear Dear Michael,
All of this time you thought the importance was placed on your resume and cover letters…Wrong!   You have to actually let those entertainment people see you dressed the part.   Ride-in on your bike and you’ll be sure to get that ‘entry level’ messenger job!

With all of that daytime exercise, imagine what great shape you’ll be in for your evening job with those lovely $$$ ladies in Beverly Hills? Then when life gets too hectic and you need a nice break from it all you can head back to the Bay Area; call me and we’ll have a drink or two overlooking the ocean somewhere.   Keep your dreams alive!
Love, Dorothy

Paloma wrote another letter too, and she had me laughing (like she always knows how to do)...…after hours of hard labor, Alexandre also ‘kind of’ repaired your cassette tape with a piece of “tape’ (just a song would have been missing or something like that), so the next morning I wanted so much to listen to your tape.   I took it to work again and the same thing happened!   I thought this time Alexandre was going to kill me!   So now your tape is dead and I haven’t been able to listen to it.  Thank you, Michael.   I just loved it!   I’m just reading your card once more now and you’re telling me about your tape.   I think I could cry when I read “improved tape of my favorite tunes”.   I enjoyed it.   Thank you!

When I asked you about perfume sample clubs I was thinking you might be able to find one through the telephone directory…or maybe even by calling INFORMATION.   I’m glad you’re thinking about me.   That’s very nice.   I didn’t know about CHER’s perfume.   It must be beautiful.  Is it?   I’m talking about the bottle, of course. Is Marina (my bartender friend) still working at the I-BEAM?   I just got a card (today) from my friend, Monica...   She still lives in Hawaii in Kailua.   She’s asking me to go there.   I’d love to.   Instead, I’m going to PARIS for Christmas (pretty much the same, isn’t it?).

I can’t wait for you to become a world ‘most famous’ model.   I’ll be your personal secretary.   Is that ok?   I’ll just ask for a few thousand dollars a month (and a Corvette).   I’ll travel around the world to choose your clothes.  How does this sound?   Send me some pictures fast.   I’ve got to see what my future looks like! You are so funny, Michael.   Sometimes I just can’t stop laughing (that reminds me of some good times we had together).   I miss that.

Thank you for Jonathan (spelling his name correctly).   I really appreciate.  He loved the horsey…but now I’ve got two. Talking seriously, thanks for the cassette tape of music anyway.   I’m working on one for you with MY favorite tunes.   It might take some time though.   I’m very picky.  

I hope I’ll read from you soon.   Write me…Write me…Write me… What kind of postcards have you got?   Love You, Paloma

I couldn't wait, so I selected three cards to send to Paloma that I knew she'd like:   


August 6, 1989
Okay…this card is kind of gross but it’s funny, right?
Yesterday, when I received your two postcards I also got a yellow delivery slip from the post-office about a fragile package from FRANCE waiting for me to pick-up (?).   It must be the doll.  I am going to pick it up today.   I know my mom will love it because it’s from FRANCE.   She thinks that was so sweet of you.  Oh yeah…I ordered another pair of 501 jeans.   I’ll send that out soon.   Have you received the others yet?  It may take another week or so since it’s coming by boat.
I’m at work right now.   We may go ON STRIKE on August 12th.   I hope we do.   I wouldn’t mind a week or two off from work.   On August 12th I am going to take my mom for a drive along the California coast and on to L.A.   She’s never been for a drive along the California coast before!   And we’re going to be in her MONTE CARLO, so it will be a luxurious, comfortable drive.   I also have an appointment on August 13th with a real estate broker because I want to invest in a townhouse in the L.A. area.   This way I’ll always have a place to stay down there.  I’m thinking for a change of pace…we’ll see how that goes.   I’ll keep you informed.   I really want to move down there and I want to get into the modeling TV scene by acquiring an agent down there, too.   All things are easier said than done (of course)…but it’s a hopeful plan.



I went to the Alameda South Shore Beach and did my lay out routine from noon until 4PM.  I got a great tan but I was sun burnt on my face a bit.   It’s turning into a tan now.   I laid out while listening to your FRENCH tunes and other tapes of mine.   Your FRENCH tunes made it feel much more exotic.   People probably thought I was a foreigner.  Ha-ha. I have a dentist appointment today.   The six-month cleaning job is overdue.   I get off of work early for it.  Hooray!   I plan on an extensive bike ride tonight.   Thanks for saying you found more BIKE cards for me.   I LOVE THEM!   You’re a sweetie.   I have your most recent cards posted here at my desk.   I love it when you send new ones so I can change the décor at my desk. I will give you a phone call soon.   I just have to time it right because when I get home from work you’re I bed asleep…I think.   It’ll be great to hear your voice. Oh…I know the movie “D.O.A”.   I am familiar with DENNIS QUAID and MEG RYAN.   I’m not sure about CHARLOTTE RAMPLING…I’d probably recognize her if I saw her though.   I’ve heard of NADINE but haven’t seen that movie yet.   I saw INDIANA JONES, LICENS TO KILL (JAMES BOND 007), BATMAN, LETHAL WEAPON 2 in the last couple of months.   LETHAL WEAPON 2 was great.   BATMAN was ‘ok’.   Jack Nicholson played THE JOKER was the best.   Jerri Hall (Mick Jagger’s wife) and Kim Basinger are also in BATMAN.   Oh well…to be continued.
Love You, Michael

On August 8, 1989 I sent Paloma a cute card.  I loved the kids that were pictured on it.Dearest Paloma,Today would have been my Dad's 54th Birthday.  This month is a difficult month because today is his birthday and he died on 8-29-1987.   I miss him a lot.   As I live through my daily life I forget sometimes...but I always have my moments.   I feel fortunate that I did have the close relationship with my dad for '27' years of my life.   A lot of guys don't have that...I received your two gorgeous postcards today (of Cap D'Adge, the Vue de nuit depuis Balaruc' is very pretty.   It's dreamlike!   I hope you're not taking that for granted.   I want to come visit.  Boo-hoo. 
I decided to select a few of my postcards (out of my collection) for you.  I hope you like them.  This one is kind of cute.  If I was a kid again I'd probably be the boy in the middle here with all of the little gals focusing on me.  Ha. 
And speaking of postcards…Paloma sent me one of my all-time favorite EVIAN WATER, REVIVAL OF THE FITTEST advertisement postcards.   I only wish I was one of the models posing in the ad.   It’s an inspiring photo.  It makes me want to work out and pour a bottle of EVIAN water over my head.   On this postcard Paloma wrote:
Le 11 Aout 89 Dear Michael,

You’re asking me about my body, so I’m sending you a couple of pictures.   They’re not that great but they were taken a couple of days ago, so you can judge by yourself. 
Unfortunately, I don’t have time to exercise right now but I’m planning to next winter if I can find a gym I like.   And that big boy with me is Jonathan…ready for school (in September!). The night arrived for the August 11th double-date.   It was me, Blake Bell and Jim and Cwissy.   Jim and Cwissy would meet Blake finally.    We decided on the HARD ROCK HOTEL in San Francisco. 

There was a big cow there that reminded me of that John Travolta Urban Cowboy movie from several years ago.  I found the cow to be a perfect prop for photos.  I, of course, brought my instant gratification Polaroid camera.   The big cow came in handy for group photos, too.   Blake seemed to be having a good time.  How could we not after a few cocktail extremes. 

I’m not so sure about the idea of a double-date.   It made me wonder if others swing in-between Urban Cowboy dancing and switch partners.  Who would switch with whom…though?   There’s a soft rock classic from that movie I love called KISS YOU ALL OVER by Exile.   I wish I could have played it while we were all in the car leaving San Francisco.
All I can say now is that I can chalk up another memorable night.   We all had fun.I need more nights like this.   I need more music in my life.

“Like every experience that marks us for a lifetime, I found myself turned inside out, drawn and quartered.”--Andre Aciman,
CALL ME BY YOUR NAME

The Perfect Kiss

A kiss on the mouth was not a prelude to a more comprehensive contact; it was already contact in its totality.
-Andre Aciman,
CALL ME BY YOUR NAME

Sunday, July 30, 1989
It was always wonderful to have a Sunday day.  I spent time riding my bike, of course.   I love the breeze I feel while riding when the day is so hot.

I wanted to lie out and catch some rays in the backyard with my new MIGHTY MOUSE beach towel but the visitors arrived.


At mid-afternoon I was back at mom’s house when John, Sherri, Ashley and Holly arrived.   In the backyard a hop scotch set up was made and it was fun to play.   It was relaxing and it seemed so ‘summertime’.
I captured John playing hop scotch and Ashley laughed and wanted to show him ‘how to do it’.     Mom was pretty good at it.
“I didn’t know you knew how to hop scotch, mom.”
"Shoot, I used to do it all of the time when I was in school in Santa Fe,” she said.  
I tried to picture her as a little girl playing in the playground at recess.

Mom’s new carpet was a dream but I could tell she got a bit anxious when the girls were around.   She wouldn’t allow crayons or felt pens around.  


Later, Tony and Helen came by with Lauren and Leigh.   The girls made themselves ‘at home’.   I loved playing with them.   They kept my ‘child within’ in-check. 
July 31, 1989I loved it when people remembered what I had said.   I once told Dorothy Rua about ‘the perfect kiss’.  
I had said, "To me, the perfect kiss is when ‘the kisser’ has a cherry or butterscotch lifesaver in the mouth unbeknownst to ‘the kissee’.   As the kiss is performed--French style--the lifesaver is transferred to ‘the kissee’ as the ultimate, sweet element of surprise."   
 
Dorothy remembered about my idea of 'the perfect kiss' as she sent me the most ideal postcard.   How on earth did she find this one?   She had meant to mail it earlier but I finally received it today.  What a treat. 

Michael,A statement you made in passing (a while back) made me think of YOU when I saw this card! 

Here’s hoping you get lucky in Ft. Lauderdale.   Don’t leave home without your lifesavers!
Love, Dorothy
Paloma also sent a postcard of her scenic area of SETE, France.Dear Michael,

Thank you for that gorgeous card.   I’ve got a bunch of new ones for you.   I buy all the cards I see with bicycles.   I was planning to send you one right now but it doesn’t fit in my envelope.   I guess it will be saved for next time.   Here is the view we have from one side of our residence.   Kind of pretty, isn’t it? I hope you got the doll by now.   I sent it by AIRMAIL.   They said it would be kind of fast.   67.48.73.21 is my phone number.   I’ve just seen two pretty good moves on video…

A few days later Paloma sent another letter.   I’m always so pleased when she writes to me.  I listened to the song HOOKED ON A FEELING by Blue Swede as I read her latest words.  Paloma wrote: Dear Michael,
Sorry I haven’t been writing much lately.   I’m very busy right now.   The residence is full, so did you like seeing the TOUR DE FRANCE?  

What are you doing now?   What kind of job are you looking for?   What does your mom think about it?   Well, I’ll stop with the questions. I’m sending you a few articles.   One is about JANE FONDA with ROGER VADIM when they were married in 1965.   On the other picture you can see Vanessa, the daughter she had with him.   That’s something you didn’t know about, huh?  

I’m also sending you a few pictures of your stars spending their holidays in FRANCE…just like you (Tom Selleck at Colombe d’Or; Don Johnson and Melanie Griffith in Saint-Tropez; Sylvester Stallone in Saint-Tropez). Tell me some more about your trip.   What did you like best…and stuff?

I can’t write anymore.  I have to go…but I will write more in September.  Love, PalomaOn August 4, 1989 I sent Paloma a postcard of a CALIFORNIA girl in a bathing suit.  The photo was taken by Alan Walsh.
I wrote the following:
8-4-89
Paloma,
I had this card from some time ago.   The model reminds me of you!!!  Does your bod---still look this tempting?  Ha-Ha.  It better! And if it doesn't...you better get to work!
I received your check for another pair of LEVI's but I did already send your original order.  It will take a while because it's coming by 'boat' because it costs about $28 if I sent it air mail.  It would have been $117, so it's probably because I put other items in the box.  I'll send that extra pair soon.  Love, Michael

It was always music he counted on to provide solace in lonely moments.
-Diane Solway,
NUREYEV: HIS LIFE

The Top of the Staircase

“We rise to great heights by a winding staircase.” –Francis Bacon

Did I want to be like him?  Did I want to be him?   Or did I just want to have him?  Or are “being” and “having” thoroughly inaccurate verbs in the twisted skein of desire, where having someone’s body to touch and being that someone we’re longing to touch ae one and the same, just opposite banks on a river that passes from us to them, back to us and over to them again in this perpetual circuit where the chambers of the heart. Like the trapdoors of desire, and the wormholes of time, and the false-bottomed drawer we call identity share a beguiling logic according to which the shortest distance between real life and the life unlived, between who we are and what we want, it a twisted staircase designed with the impish cruelty of M.C. Escher.-Andre Aciman, CALL ME BY YOUR NAME

I like living at mom’s house but I know the days are numbered.  I check the mailbox every day and it’s nice to find a letter for me once in a while.   This time I got one from Mario.  I find his style of writing mysterious and curious.  And yet, I was confused because all of his previous letters had his surname ending in an ‘R’ (Boucieguer) and now it ends in a ‘Z’ (Boucieguez).  Did this mean anything like a possible revelation or opening-up of the real him?   I guess this is worthy of a postcard reply.   Mario wrote on a simple paper that was folded and had a pencil sketch of a lighthouse, a house, a seagull and the lonely seaside: Glastonbury, CT
July 26, 1989

Dear Michael, My self-respect is fading fast.   All I have is the memory of our first meeting, the view, the city lights, the night.  June 16th.   I wrote down the date so I will always remember.

Why has fate allowed our paths to cross?   Only time will tell.  In the meantime, I dream of the future. Sincerely,
Mario C. Boucieguez

I mailed another postcard to Paloma on July 27th:
7-27-89
Paloma,
I asked someone in my office to bring me some postcard stamps and they brought me 10 of these postcards with stamps imprinted ono them.   What  a dumb chick she is.  Oh well…I’m here at work and I was just looking at those two scenic postcards you sent me of where you live.   Is that the French Riviera?  I bet it’s expensive to live around there.   Is it?   I want to go!  

Your pants should be there in a few…I’m still waiting. Look…
Paloma, 1585 University Av, Brk….549-0181
La Paloma Restaurant, 1229 23rd Av…536-3218

…here are two restaurants (one in Oakland, one in Berkeley) that we’ll definitely have to dine at ‘if and when’ you come to the US again.  Later, Love, Michael

I loved the new card that Dorothy sent me.  She inspires and motivates me.  The image reminded me of one of my favorite songs by THE OCEAN BLUE called THE OFFICE OF A BUSY MAN: 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yr-p1JBTd4w Dorothy wrote:

7-27-89Michael,
Does this say it all?  A man who doesn’t want to be part of the corporate scene anymore?

The notes on the calendar are future appointments with MGM/PARAMOUNT/WARNER, etc. for January 23, 1990!   And you’re reviewing one of the contracts they want you to sign! Some days I know it can seem forever, but the time WILL pass and you’ll soon be soaring with the other eagles!   So, get out from behind that hat and continue to have fun, in other areas of your life, during this temporary period.   Love, Dorothy

Word is out.  My quest to move to Los Angeles is on overdrive.   I’ve submitted Pac Bell Directory Transfer Requests to Los Angeles.  I’m a shoe-in because I have submitted for Sales jobs as well as my current job which gives me the edge.  It’s sure to happen.   I’ve prepared my mom and I’ve said, “You know, this will mean you can escape to L.A. for weekends and see a new side of California, too!”
The move to L.A. will help with my quest to know myself and my identity.   I know it’s meant for me to travel this short distance.  I need to reach the door at the top of the staircase.

Dale Orlando wrote me from Florida, using a GARFIELD cartoon card.   Dale wrote me, requesting photo reprints from my visit to him earlier this month:
1989
Mike,
I’m writing to you because I would like to know WHERE ARE MY REPRINTS?   I have been writing to be ‘pleasantly surprised’.  Well?

So how are things with you?   I will admit I am in love with Mario.  So fucking what…no one wants me!   I hope you still want me to help you move to L.A. Please write back.   Tell L.B. (Laverne Butler) “HELLO”.
Love, Dale
P.S. I miss my stream of postcards from you.

I found this classic photo card (photo taken by Bruce Weber at the Copacabana Palace Hotel in Rio de Janeiro in 1986) and I hated to part with it but if anyone could have it...it would be Paloma.   I love the drama it implies as so many stories could be told from it.   Through my eyes, they're a couple amidst a major romance and they meet at 'the top of the staircase' to come to terms with their intense relationship.   And so, I sent the card to Paloma with a note included in her package:

July 29, 1989
Paloma,

Here are the pants you wanted.     I got an extra 34 x 36 and a 31 x 34 in BLACK for you, too.   Also, I couldn’t resist this little outfit for Jonathan.  I hope it fits him. Oh yeah….here’s a bottle of my private reserve wine and a SPECIAL Champagne bottle for the celebration of your new Residence.

Later, Love, Michael J Armijo
July 29, 1989When I see my niece, Holly, smile it makes me so happy.

I took a group photo of John, his wife, Sherri and the girls today.  They look like the perfect family unit.  I’m envious.  It’s nice to see.
“It is better for YOU to take responsibility for your life as it is instead of blaming others, or circumstances, for your predicament.   As your eyes open, you’ll see that you’re state of health, happiness, and every circumstance of your life has been, in large part, arranged by you…consciously or unconsciously.”-Dan Millman,
WAY OF THE PEACEFUL WARRIOR

 
 
 

At The Beach

“The PAST is just something that’s over.”
-Christopher Isherwood,
THE SINGLE MAN

I wondered about Steven Antol and reminisced about the times we walked and played ‘at the beach’.  He hadn’t written and the communication had just about stopped.   I imagined he had rekindled his romance with his ex-Hawaiian chap named Kuala.   I did send a card not so long ago.   The ball is in his court.   Perhaps it’s just one more thing that is part of the past.

On July 19th I mailed Paloma two cool postcards that I had been saving.  One was of a collection of celebrities and the other was a black and white sketch of swans and ducks in what looks like a paradise setting:


7-19-89
Paloma—
I’m glad you liked the last tape cassette.   I’ll try and work on another one sometime soon.

I never heard from UNITED AIRLINES again, so I guess I didn’t get the job.  I thought I had already told you. My tel# is 415-865-2001.   What is your tel#?  The best time to call me is M-F 7:30PM until midnight.  

So…you don’t need a VISA to come to the USA now?   So, when are you coming? That bicycle stamp was too HOT.  I watched the TOUR DE FRANCE on TV last Sunday.   Yes, I collect ‘em (stamps) but not as avidly as I used to.
Till next time.  Miss you, Love, Michael

  7-19-89
Paloma—
I retreated to my old job in San Francisco.   It’s a long story.   I missed working in The City though (compared to Walnut Creek).  I am looking for new work in Southern Cal now.  I need to move for a few years.

The postcards you sent of your vicinity are SO beautiful.  I am truly envious.  I’ll post those at my desk!  Congratulations on completing your exams, diploma, etc.   You should feel great about that.  You ARE special!   Very!

From SF to Hawaii it costs about $350 to $400, depending on the package deal you get.  It requires double occupancy at those prices.  Do you want to go?   When?   I’ll meet you at the beach.  Ha-ha.  Seriously…I will.  Till next time.  Love, Michael
I received a cool BIKE postcard from my cycling pal, Birda.  I really like her.  She’s so swift on the bike that we barely exchange many words; however, I love when I stop and she stops for a bit of conversation.  Like me, she repeatedly does laps and laps in and around Bay Farm Island and South Shore beach.   I think we were both meant to live ‘at the beach’.  We love to feel the wind in our hair as we’re riding along ‘at the beach’.   Birda wrote:
7-21-89
Michael,
Just to let you know I’ve moved, as of 7-29-89 I will be living at:
1224 Park Ave, #B, Alameda, CA 94501
The phone# is 522-1534.
See you ‘at the beach’.   Just like the olden days…only a little slower.
Always, Birda

I had a special couple of cards to send Paloma, so today was as good a day as any to write her again.   The Black and White card depicted a menage trois on some isolated rocks.   The other promo card  for a boutique in San Francisco reminded me of a music video scene:

July 22, 1989
Paloma,
You said it was hard to top my cards and I thought that was funny.  I bought this one before and had it framed.   I found it once again, so I thought I’d share it with you.   It looks like a FUN place, huh?  Ha…looks like it could be GREECE or something.

I don’t know if I’ll become a world famous model but that would be nice.   Maybe an agent will want me from PARIS.   Wouldn’t that be funny?   I doubt it though.   We’ll see—if any agents---will want me on August 26th.   I have to go to a rehearsal tomorrow for this BIG EVENT in fact.   I hope it works out. Your Residence Club sounds so nice.   I hope I can one day join you for an outside BBQ and lounge by the pool.  I’ve played TRIVIAL PURSUIT but I prefer word games or STRIP POKER (only kidding about the STRIP POKER). 

I’m sort of dating a girl named Blake Bell.   We met at ELITE because she was in several of my TV workshop classes.  She’s lived her a year and a half and she is from London.   She lived in Spain from age 17 to 20.   She is 22 now.  Her dad died around the same time mine did (1987); however, her dad was missing for two months.  He was an alcoholic. I got some of your jeans already but they ran out of the 31 x 34 size, so I’m still in search for that.   I’m sure I’ll find them soon though.   Thanks for the $100 but in the future you don’t need to send it.  Just write what you want—as long as you don’t make a habit of it.  Ha-ha.

I laughed when you wrote that the doll may need a new hairdo.  It hasn’t come yet so that was sweet of you to send it.  Is this your phone number:  67-48-73-21 ?

The weather here is so nice but I wish I was in the BAHAMAS again.  That water is so blue.   While I laid out at the beach near the Holiday Inn swimming pool I heard a live band playing reggae music.  It was so relaxing!   I’ll never forget that moment!   Till the next time. 
Love, Michael
PS-I got those French lines from a FRENCH FOR TRAVELERS book that I had and forgot to take with me when I went to visit you!

July 22, 1989Dear Paloma, That was a funny postcard of ‘that naked’ little boy.  I thought it was  you as a baby until I saw his little dick.   I hope you like this card.   Someone handed it to me on the streets in San Francisco a few years ago as a promotional advertisement for a new store that was opening.  I taped an index card over it and converted it into a postcard for you. Guess what?   You’re in luck!   There’s a sale (back to school) on the 501 LEVI jeans.  I will get you what you want.   I’ll also get an extra pair of each size you wanted in black since they’re on sale for only $21 right now.  I like my black jeans because they go with more things (shoes/shirts).  I’ll have to find a box to mail them to you.  Jeez, what a fun project. You saved ‘yourself’ by saying I’m not too OLD!   Ha-ha…but UNITED AIRLINES does not have an age limit.   Besides, UNITED just had a crash in IOWA and I’m turned-off to that whole idea.   I guess they may still call me for a job but I doubt it.  I truly believe they want bilingual attendants.   I’ll be in touch.   I also have another surprise for you when I send the jeans.   I told mom you sent her a doll.  She’s so EXCITED!   She says, “Thank You, you’re a sweetheart.” Love You, Michael J Armijo
  A day later I received another card from my former coworker, Dorothy Rua in Walnut Creek.   The front of the card had the words imprinted ‘IN THE UPS AND DOWNS OF LIFE…’, inside it was written ‘…YOU’RE ONE OF THE UPS!’.   I loved that.  I guess she liked the BARBIE card I sent her and I loved how she encourages me about my future dreams.  Dorothy wrote: 7-23-89
Michael,
I received, not one, but TWO cards from you!   They’re wonderful.   You’re wonderful.   Where did you ever get the one of BARBIE?  Too perfect for words.

Yes, I saw NETWORK and I’m familiar with the quote (“I’m as mad as hell and I’m not going to take this anymore”).   One I’ve repeated many times myself!
Glad you enjoyed out time at SKATES ON THE BAY (in Berkeley).  You made an already nice day into AN EXTRA special one!   I always enjoy your company and getting to know you better. I saw SCORCHERS last night.   It was quite good.  Also met Paul, an interesting ‘theater type’.   Tell you all about my “jaunt” next time we get together.

Don’t think I won’t take you up on that “lunch and/or dinner” in THE CITY.   I’ll be in once or twice this week! Hope your job is more bearable with Laverne there.   Remember, your dreams aren’t going away, they’re just waiting till you’re ready.
Love, Dorothy

And after another couple of days Paloma wrote to me:Balaruc le 24 Juillet 1989
Dear Michael,
…just a few words to send this letter really fast, I hope it reaches you before you send the jeans.   Could you please send me another pair = W 30/ L 34.   I know I’m a pain in the neck but this way I won’t bother you for a while.   I’m sending you a check because I had these American people staying in our residence.   It’s better than to send money.   I hope it’s OK with you.   I also hope you got the money I sent you before!

That was fun to have these Americans over, which reminded me of my life over there.   They used to live in El Cerrito.   They watched Greg LeMond win the Tour de France on T.V.   They were so happy.   I bet you were too, right?   Well, I’ve got to send this letter now.   I’ll write again.   Thank you.  Write me…Love, PalomaSometimes I dream of racing in the Tour de France.   Is that even possible?   Then again, it’s not about the race (in life or on the bike) with me.   It’s about the joy of feeling the wind on my face ‘at the beach’ as I ride and release my anxieties (if/when there are any).  I honestly believe that Birda (and perhaps Greg LeMond) can relate.  I am so happy 'on the bike' while 'at the beach'.

Never in my life had I been so happy.   Nothing could go wrong, everything was happening my way, all the doors were clicking open one by one, and life couldn’t have been more radiant:  it was shining right at me, and when I turned my bike left or right or tried to move away from its light, it followed me as limelight follows an actor on-stage.  I craved him but I could easily live without him, and either way was fine.-Andre Aciman, CALL ME BY YOUR NAME
 
 
 
 
 

A Fish Out of Water

“…The idea is, if you have a weakness, fight against it.”
--Calder Willingham,
END AS A MAN

 
 
 
  I’m in envy.   My niece, Ashley, is like a fish out of water.   She loves to swim.   I don’t know how to swim.   I guess it’s never too late to learn but my fear of water runs deep.   I accompanied Ashley to the Islandia Homeowners Recreation Center and watched her swim.   She’s a natural.  I’m happy that she has this sport to enjoy and nurture.   If I could swim I’d do a lot of it.   For now, my favorite past time is bicycling and jump roping.  I love the jump roping action.

I have been living at mom’s house since April 1st and it’s a joy.   I see the kids more and I truly have my own space and time (since mom works from 4PM to Midnight).   I don’t even see mom until the weekend comes along.I was in the patio with her when the doorbell rang.   It was Helen.   She was dropping by with Lauren.   That was a quaint visit.

My escape to Florida seems ages ago now but I’ve only been back a few days.   Work is the usual doldrums activity.   I’m still keeping my eyes open for transfer opportunities to Southern California.

 I’m busy with the Elite Model Center and I’m excited for my date with the British gal, BLAKE BELL.  
PHOTO:  Blake Bell
Blake lives in Concord so I’ll drive out to her apartment and we’ll have a meal, movie and perhaps a little kissing at her front door (if I get that far).   She seems to like me but I’m not so sure how far we will go.   Her mind is elsewhere as she has qualms about her alcoholic father.   That must be a serious, sad issue to deal with for a daughter.   

 
I brought my Polaroid camera and took a cute photo of the two of us in Blake’s apartment.   While I was in her place I was quite taken with a cool model airplane that she had on a table.   I had her take a photo of me with it.  

I was thinking of taking her to see the new BATMAN movie.  I know Kim Basinger is in it and that may be a good reason to see it.  I like to see her on-screen.   I figured we’d be spontaneous.
The date with Blake turned out nice.   It’s just a pain driving all the way to Concord and then back to Alameda.   I did get a kiss goodnight.   She’s sweet.    

I was driving home and that new song kept playing by Simply Red:  IF YOU DON’T KNOW ME BY NOW.   It seemed like an appropriate song after a date…no point in getting so excited.    I will see Blake again.  I think I'll plan a double-date outing with Jim from the Gym and Chris.   I think they'll like her and we had too much of a good time to NOT continue the joy.
I asked myself, “Jeez, do I even know myself by now?”

July 16, 1989
Mom was babysitting for Sherri.   This time she only had Holly.   She doesn’t really talk back, so it’s a breeze playing with her.   I captured a cute photo of her on mom’s lap.   I loved that moment in time.

I was relaxing at mom’s house, doing my jump ropes routine.   Mom had to leave for work and I was stuck doing the tail-end babysitting for Holly.   It was okay.   She’s fun and easy.   Her ‘choo-choo’ train kept her occupied.  

It must be nice to be under age four and not have a care in the world except the next toy or the next meal.   Then again, even at age thirty I still enjoy the next toy and the next meal.  

But remember, our hearts and our bodies are given to us only once.   Most of us can’t help but live as though we’ve got two lives to live, one is the mockup, the other the finished version, and then there are all those versions in between.--Andre Aciman, CALL ME BY YOUR NAME
 
….
 

My Florida and Bahamas Escape

LIFE is not a private affair.   A story and its lessons are only made useful if shared.
-Dan Millman,
Way of the Peaceful WarriorI arrived in Miami and Dale was waiting for me at the airport.   He drove to his apartment in Hollywood, Florida.   I was rather impressed with the furnishings and his set up.   I couldn't resist taking a photo of him in his closet."I have the perfect title for this one," I said, "NOT out-of-the-closet yet."Dale laughed, "YOU know very well that's NOT me.""That's for sure."Dale still had his usual habits which included eating, talking on the phone and chatting-on about any man that crossed his path. I did admire the fact that Dale was willing to travel across the country to start a new life.  He left his wife, Dee, but still felt torn about not being near his son.   I'll never forget how he named his son Andrew "Michael Joe" Orlando.   The "Michael Joe" was chosen by Dale as he wanted to name his son after me.   I think Dale wants his son to grow up to be similar to me in many ways.   He told me this and I felt so honored that he felt this way.   I took a few more pictures of Dale while in his apartment.  

I laughed at Dale every time he saw the neighborhood cat.  He kept saying, "Oh God...there's that PUSSY again!"   I just had to photograph that cat. 
"I think that PUSSY likes you, Dale."  Dale smirked.While in Florida I sent mom 3-postcards.   I also sent one to Steven Antol (just to see if I get a stir out of him).  On July 2ndI sent mom a postcard of a beautiful Florida Pelican.  I wrote: 

Dear Mom, Well, you know how I feel about palm trees.   I love them and the atmosphere is relaxing so far.   Dale Orlando is a “crack up” and still knows how to show a good time!

Love You, Michael J ArmijoThe same day I wrote that card to mom, Mario, was writing me from Connecticut.   It’s a funny coincidence because Dale keeps talking about a friend of his named Mario.   He seems quite taken with Mario.   “I can tell you right now.   I don’t feel that way about the Mario I met,” I announced to Dale.    I did manage to share a bit about my feelings about Steven (to Dale) but I refrained from details because Dale has bladder-of-the-mouth.   He says he can keep a secret but he cannot.

Mario’s words seemed so romantic in his letter but it also seemed like a ‘let’s just remain good friends’ letter.   I was happy about that fact.  Mario wrote: July 02, 1989
Glastonbury, CT

It’s almost midnight, the weather is hot and fairly humid.   The sky is clear and I can see the stars shining above me.   I can hear the crickets singing all over and the air blows softly like if it is trying to blend into the night to make it perfect.   If I had a night that I could give you it would be a night just like tonight. I received your message on my answering machine this afternoon and ‘let me tell you’ that calls like this never fail to brighten my day.  It makes my heart happy to hear that you are well, enjoying your vacations and that you’re thinking of me, and even though we’re miles and time apart something deep inside tells me that we’re just as close in memories as we’ve ever been.

By the time you read this letter you’ll be back from your vacation in Florida.  I can perceive you with a gentle smile when you find this letter, that smile that I saw in you when I first met you and that makes me think of you every time I see a smiling face.

Our letters when they do come will keep us informed about our feelings and desires, sharing together our innermost thoughts and between our letters our individual lives will remind us that we still stand together. In fondest remembrance,
Your friend always……
Mario C Boucieguer

Dale's Hollywood, FL neighborhood was 'okay' but I would have preferred it to be more of a hop and a skip to the beach.    It was green and seemed to be a nice area though. 

During the morning of 4th of July, Dale explained how he had a complete itinerary planned.   I was excited about going to the Ft. Lauderdale Beach.  
 
We were also going to a giant FASHION MALL.  

In the evening we were going to the Marlin Beach Hotel for a drink.   It was a gay-themed hotel with a hot bar.   Apparently, many gay men had moved to Ft. Lauderdale because of this place in the 70s and 80s.   I liked the t-shirt and I bought one.   It had a graphic of a young man with sunglasses and a tropical cocktail.   

The Marlin Beach bar vibe was fun but I felt a bit funny being with Dale there.   I couldn't feel comfortable.  
I asked myself, "Do these guys think that Dale and I are a couple?   Does Dale want us to appear as a couple?"
Whatever...it seemed like a 'return to' kind of place.   I liked the music and the summertime feeling of it. 

On July 5thI sent mom a postcard from the Vizcaya Museum and Gardens in Miami, FL.   I wrote:
Mom,
Dale and I drove to Miami today and visited this museum.  It is a restored estate that belonged to some eccentric man from 1916-1925.   It was a great experience to see.   The homes in Florida—in certain areas—are beautiful.   And I love the palm trees, which are everywhere.  Hope you had a Happy 4th.  Miss You.   Lots of Love, Michael J. Armijo

The same day I wrote that card to mom, Dorothy Rua was writing me with an update on the Pac Bell Directory SMART RESOURCE CENTER.   I laughed because more of the employees were finding it a horrible place to work.   I was glad I disappeared when I did.   She sent a strange (and very creepy) postcard of eight dead giant grasshoppers that seemed to imply they were employees being removed from the premises one-by-one. 
Michael,
First there were eleven of us, then one left…now tow more are heading out the door.   If my math is correct the other eight are on the stick!   What are we going to do about Tonee?  We can’t let Susan and Laura haul her off with the rest of the crew!   I guess she’ll be okay.   I see she’s just pretending on the end of the stick.   She’ll hop off when she’s ready!   I know everything will work out for you too. 
Love, Dorothy

July 5, 1989 Dale and I went on a field trip to the VIZCAYA MUSEUM AND GARDENS in Miami.   I had never heard of such a place.   Dale was so excited about taking me to see to see this villa that formerly belonged to James Deering of the Deering-McCormick International Harvester fortune in an area called Coconut Grove.   

Dale had to drive to the Miami area and he loves to drive, so that made it nice.   I was able to enjoy the scenery.   He loves to talk a lot while he drives also.   He asks a million questions, including questions like 'What's going on with your LOVE life?'.    I must admit that he does get my mind stirring over things I normally wouldn't have thought about if it weren't for his questioning nature. 

I brought my Polaroid camera along and took photos of Dale on the property.   
"I could see myself living here," I said.  
Dale laughed, "But...of course.  You know, they do a WHITE PARTY here every year." 
"I wouldn't mind coming to one of those parties!"
It was difficult to capture the entire VIZCAYA property in one photo.  The furnishings inside were a bit over-the-top.   The entrance was lush.   I had Dale take a photo of me from the distance.

Dale sure did his homework.   He knew I would like these mini-tours in and around different parts of Florida.   When we were departing from the VIZCAYA Museum and Gardens the car wouldn't start.   I normally panic during instances like this.   Dale was calm and knew he just needed to find some jumping cables to recharge his battery.  Luckily, the security chap was friendly enough to allow us to use his car to get going again.  
Once we were back at Dale's place he prepared dinner.   He did a good job and it was nice to just 'stay home' and relax there after being out all day.    Dale was teasing me about my blond highlights. 
"It's just going to take some getting used to," Dale remarked.


The following day we ate somewhere near the University of Miami near an area called Coral Gables.

On July 6th I was watching a movie in Dale's apartment and writing to Paloma.   Dale was on the phone, talking away as he always does.   I bought a few cards for Paloma and was in peaceful mode as I was writing to her:

July 6, 1989
Dear Paloma,
Here I am in Florida.  I am watching a movie that reminds me of you, THE COTTON CLUB, starring Richard Gere.  I’m sure we saw that movie together—didn’t we?   This card even reminds me of THE COTTON CLUB a bit.   I am having a good time here in Florida.  

I sent several postcards out the other day and I just realized I forgot to take your new address.   So I won’t be able to mail this until I get home.I saw a new movie, BATMAN, the other day.  The actress, Kim Basinger, sure does have beautiful lips.  She looks so HOT in that movie!
Tomorrow I’m going on a boat ride through the Everglades.  Then the Bahamas on Saturday (early AM) through midnight on a special 1-day cruise deal. 
I’m visiting an old friend and coworker (Dale) who moved here to Florida.  He’s a very funny character.  He drives a “stick”.  I don’t know how to drive one (only automatic). 

Dale lives a distance from the beaches (that’s not too great) but I still hang out at the pool and we ‘go out’.  It’s just that I always have to hang out with him which isn’t always so great…to tell you the truth. While we were cruising the beach on the night of 4th of July there were about 5 or 6 beauties that gave me ‘the eye’, smiled and waved.   Nothing came of it because guess who was behind the wheel.  Oh well…it’s no “biggeee”.  

It is still nice to visit here.  I love all of the palm trees and the warm weather.  Yes, I have revitalized my tan. Yesterday I went to a neat mansion in the MIAMI area.  It was beautiful.   It’s called the VIZCAYA and it’s been converted into a museum.  It faces the ocean and has a major garden.  It’s really nice!   Here’s a postcard of some of MIAMI.  I like this area because I love palm trees, the weather and things seem cheaper.  

…California is still number #1 with me, I think.  I miss California.
And check this out!   See…there’s lot of nice scenery here too, Ha-ha!   I still haven’t heard from you ever since you moved to your new Residence Club…unless, of course, there’s something waiting for me when I get home. 

I am still watching THE COTTON CLUB.  Dale, my friend, is on the phone calling his Florida pals.   Dale lives in a city called Lauderhill which is very near Fort Lauderdale.  Here is a postcard of Ft. Lauderdale.
It looks pretty fun, huh?   Well, there are some really nice bodies out here…but then there are a few ‘beached whales’ out and about, too. Oh well…I didn’t want to leave you out of my postcard list.   So here are yours.   I miss you.   Hello to Alexandre and Jonathan.
Love You,
Michael J Armijo
On July 7th Dale was ready to hit the road again.   This time we went to the Everglades to see the crocodiles.  Yikes!   We boarded a hydroplane boat called the ELIMINATOR that took us through the Everglades swamps.   I saw a crocodile in the water (not the best photo).   It was kind of creepy riding through the swamps.     The tour guide was rather friendly.  He introduced us to a baby croc.  Yikes...again!   I didn't want to pet it for fear that it might bite my finger.    Dale laughed (though he didn't touch it either).   
Dale asked, "You like the tour guide, don't you?" 
"He's nice."  
"No, but you REALLY like him, huh?" 
"I wouldn't go that far...he's okay." 
"I can see the two of you together." 
I wondered where he was going with this conversation.   I simply let it go and changed the subject.  

After the excursion in and around the Everglades we had time to hang out by the swimming pool he had access to near his apartment.    I needed to get a little color, so I was happy to relax by the pool.   

Dale was so proud of the Pillsbury Doughboy cookie jar I bought him.   It was strategically placed in his kitchen next to the bottle of wine I brought him.  
"I have a surprise tomorrow for you last full day here," Dale said.  
"Uh oh...should I be worried?"  
Dale laughed loudly, "You'll see."   July 8, 1989  Well, I was surprised.   We went on a day cruise!   "I didn't know you could take a cruise for just a day."   The cruise ship left  Ft. Lauderdale for Nassau, The Bahamas.   I didn't need a passport because a driver's license was acceptable to visit there. 
While on the ship I said to Dale, "Wouldn't it be great if we could take a cruise ship to Cuba one of these days.   I guess Fidel Castro has to die before that can happen.   He's been ruling the county since the year I was born, 1959." 
Dale said, "That's AGES ago!"  
I frowned, giving him the smirk he deserved.



I liked 'hanging out' by a Bahamas Hotel swimming pool for a while.  It was fun for people watching and a pina colada.   We didn't have much time there.   We had to be quick about exploring because we had to be back on the cruise ship by 5pm for the ride back to Ft. Lauderdale.   I loved the beach.   The water was so clear and blue.  
"This is my kind of beach!"  

On July 9thI mailed a floral postcard from the BAHAMAS to mom.   I wrote: Mom,
The Birds of Paradise reminded me of how much you like them.   The water is too blue to be true.   There is not time now.   See you before you get this card.   Love, Michael

I really had a great time in Florida and the Bahamas.   Dale really went out-of-his-way to introduce me to his new neck of the woods.   I may return sooner versus later.   Tomorrow is my journey back to the West Coast and the reality of Pac Bell Directory.  My mission is now to look for job transfer opportunities in Southern California.   I love the warmer climate.  This trip has reminded me that I need a new escape.

"There are some things you don't even know you know, until you're asked." 
--Christopher Isherwood,
A SINGLE MAN

 
 
 
 
 

The Introduction Phase

For me, a good story is all about setting up expectations and delivering on them in an exciting and surprising way.
--THE ART OF RACING IN THE RAIN,
a novel by Garth Stein

June 26, 1989Mario C. Boucieguer didn’t waste much time in writing back to me.   He sent a letter and included a postcard of a quaint church in a small town in Connecticut with this quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson imprinted on it: 

“To the attentive eye, each moment of the year has its own beauty, and in the same field, it beholds, every hour, a picture which was never seen before, and which shall never be seen again” I liked that quote a lot.   Mario also wrote (in his not-so-great handwriting) on the postcard:
Michael, here it’s a beautiful day.   The sun is out and the weather is perfect.  This picture is not exactly summer but it is fall and the library is only a couple of blocks from home.   This will give you an idea of how it looks where I live.   I hope you get this card before you take off for Florida.   See you soon.   MARIO

He also included a typewritten letter.  This lead me to believe that he is aware of his not-so-good handwriting.   I liked that he typed it but it also added a bit more formality to it.  Mario typed: Glastonbury, CT
June 26, 1989

I really can’t find the words to describe how beautiful the day is today.  It is hot but not so humid and I wish it would stay like this all summer.  It feels good to be home even though after being away for almost one month there are tons of bills to pay. My plan to go to San Francisco is still up in the air.   I think I will be leaving home on Friday the 29th.   It will be a long journey, probably four or five days driving all by myself.   I received a call from EASTERN AIRLINES last Friday, asking me if I wanted to work in New York for one month and after that period I would be transferred back to Hartford, CT.   I told them I would think about it and call them back.   I still don’t know if I should take that opportunity of just head on to California.   Hopefully everything points to California right now.

I was very happy to hear from you the other day.   I guess I’ll have to admit that I am not the best writer when it comes to express feelings but that doesn’t keep me from telling you how good I felt about those phone calls.   Though I am not able to write as much as I’d like to…let me tell you that it is a joy finding people like you. It makes me feel happy to know that I’ll be seeing you again, that we will talk about our comings and goings, our desires and goals.   I know that sharing all of these will put us through what you called once “The Introduction Phase”. 

Your Friend Always,Mario C Boucieguer

I laughed out loud after reading his letter as I did recall explaining to him about ‘The Introduction Phase’.   I had said to him, “Like any new product that is introduced it has a 12-month period of hopeful success.   I believe that every relationship is the same way.   If it survives the first 12 months (The Introduction Phase) then it’s time for growth, growing the relationship.”

I love that he remembered that discussion.  He was also involved in MARKETING.   He’s an interesting professional and I find it fascinating that EASTERN AIRLINES and other companies are entranced by his business prowess and ability.

June 30, 1989Dorothy sent me another amusing card of a giant pickle.   It was short and sweet (although she signed her name and two of the other coworkers).  I wondered.   Couldn’t Laverne or Tonee send their own individual handwritten words to me themselves?     Dorothy wrote:

Dear Michael, How the heck are you going to have a terrific time in Ft. Lauderdale when you left your pickle back here with us?

Guess you’ll just have to draw on all of those other talents you have!
Enjoy every minute of all that freedom and fresh air…and bring all of that positive energy back with you!   Your pickle may need to be re-charged!  Have fun!!! Love,  Dorothy, Laverne and Tonee

I wish I could get at what is the object of the latter.  He seems to have some settle scheme of his own, but what it is I do not know.-Bram Stoker, DRACULA
 
 

Work Hard

  “Everybody works at something.   Getting out of bed’s work!   Getting food off your plate and into your mouth is work.   But there are two kinds of work, kid:
WORK and HARD WORK
If you want to stand out…you’ve got to do HARD WORK.   Pick out something impossible and do it, or be a bum the rest of your life.  Sure, everybody worked in George Washington’s time, but George Washington worked hard.   Everybody worked in Shakespeare’s time, but Shakespeare worked hard.   I’m who I am because I work hard.”
-Kurt Vonnegut Jr., PLAYER PIANO

Dorothy found a classic postcard of the Great San Francisco Earthquake of 1906 and sent it to me.   Was this a warning about my return to work in San Francisco?   Never mind I am not superstitious.   She made me laugh about the fact that the SMART RESOURCE CENTER is now trying to sell binders to go with the Yellow Page Directories.  Dorothy wrote: June 21, 1989
Dear Michael,

…thought you would enjoy this typical PBD SMART RESOURCE CENTER dialogue now:  Michael:  "Hello, may I help you?" (notice no name given)!
Customer:  "Yes, I need some new phone books for the entire Bay Area."
Michael:  "Okay, which ones in particular do you need to order today?"  (hoping the entire LATA won’t be ordered)
Customer:  "Well, all the ones I can get right away.   The fire after the earthquake destroyed all of my directories."
Michael:  "I’m sorry to hear that, however, I can help you avoid the same loss occurring again…the answer to any future problems is BINDERS!  They’re durable, etc. etc.  The product of the century!"

Michael, is anyone in that place (besides Ron Q) really serious about the entire concept working out?   There were so many days I thought I was going crazy, wondering why I was the only one that wouldn’t accept the absurdity.   Then I’d glance at you or talk to you and realize it wasn’t really me…IT WAS THEM!    I’ll always appreciate your support and friendship.   Just keep your sense of humor and vision of what’s beyond the SMART RESOURCE CENTER.   You have what it takes to get past all of this.   Love, Dorothy Dorothy’s card simply confirmed that I’d made the right decision to leave the SMART RESOURCE CENTER.   I do work hard.   I simply want to have a passion for the work that I do.  The SMART RESOURCE CENTER is not the place for me.   I am in search of work that makes me feel passionate.

A day later I was surprised to receive another card from Lola Bindel of a beach scene and a lighthouse.   She’s just another long-distance romance even if she does live in San Francisco that I met at a dance club; however, she surprised me by writing about simply being friends.   She’s a bit on the strange side.  She must’ve hoped I had been trying to call her (when I was not).  One can tell a lot about the insecurities of another just by the words that are written.  Lola wrote: June 22, 1989
Dear Michael,

I don’t know if you have tried to call me or not, but if so, I’m sorry I haven’t talked to you.   I wish I could have.  I enjoyed being with you that one evening.   I probably won’t forget it.   I have never done that.   It was fun.   I would like to go out with you, maybe to a movie or something.  I am not looking for anything serious, just a good friendship.   You can call anytime.   I’m usually home after 11PM (and before 8:30AM).   You can call me at work anytime, also.  My numbers are (in case you lost them):  Home 928-5363, Work:  885-5757.   I know you have been busy.   I hope your work isn’t bringing you down.  

Did you have fun at GREAT AMERICA?   Wish I could have gone with you.   Maybe you’ll want to go again later this summer.   I would like that…or let’s go for a bike ride.   If you don’t want to have anything to do with me, please write me and tell me so I won’t bother you, OK?  Take Care, Lola

I’m anxious to see this new comedy called HONEY, I SHRUNK THE KIDS.   A part of me wishes I could turn invisible at times.   I certainly don’t think I’d enjoy being shrunk down to the size of a toy soldier; however, the concept of this film is amusing for me. Dorothy found another beautiful card for me.   It depicted a solitary beach chair on a beautiful shoreline.   When I opened the card I simply wanted to be there with a good book.   Just me…what a wonderful escape.


Dorothy wrote: June 24, 1989
Dear Michael,
This card says it all, doesn’t it?   Won’t be long now—you’ll be sitting on the beach with your legs stretched out, face to the sun, cold drink in hand and a ‘beach bunny’ working tanning lotion into your skin!

All memories of the phone directories will face and you’ll be enjoying life as it should be enjoyed. Have an absolutely wonderful time in Fort Lauderdale!  Share your pictures and fun with me when you return.
Love ya, Dorothy
I was quite ecstatic about the forthcoming Florida escape.   I still felt a tinge of loneliness though.   I thought I’d go out to Berkeley to see if that gay bar was still open called THE WHITE HORSE.   I sat at the bar and ordered a White Russian.   A seat away from me was a man who looked older than me but he was actually my age.  
"My name is MARIO."  
"Oh...I have a cousin named MARIO.  Are you from around here?"
"I'm visiting for business.  I’m originally from Florida."
He kind of looked Hispanic or Middle Eastern or Cuban.   I wasn’t quite sure.   
"I’m from Connecticut now.”
“Oh, I’ve been there before.   Ever heard of Harwinton?”
“No.”
“Well, it’s a small town.  I had a friend who was from there.   It’s in the Litchfield area.   I know that.”
“Oh, I know Litchfield.”
“Maybe you’ve heard of my friend, Ron Leoni?
“No.”
“Well, his dad owns the pharmacy in Harwinton.   It’s a nice area.”
"I'm originally from Florida." "No kidding?  I'm going to Fort Lauderdale in about a week to visit a good friend of mine.   That's a coincidence.""You'll enjoy it.  It's nice there." We laughed and talked to one another a bit more.   He wanted to go for a drive but I wasn’t ‘into’ him in that way.  I could tell he was hitting on me.  
I said, "Maybe another time because I have to go to work tomorrow."
He was so persistent, so I decided to walk with him to his car.    I simply liked the conversation.   The way it was going between us seemed relaxed and I felt like welcoming a new friendship.   We eventually exchanged addresses.  
I said, “Write to me.  Maybe I’ll see you in Connecticut someday. And I will write back to you.”
“Okay,” Mario said with a smile. 
He tried to kiss me while in his car and I went ahead and kissed him back.  I noticed him unzip his pants and while kissing him I felt him.   I was a little surprised because his 'personal tool' was hard but it was so small in size.   I didn't want to make him feel bad so I just continued to kiss and decided that I needed to 'think fast'.  
"Well, I really like you and would like this to continue but--but like I said, I have to go to work tomorrow." 
Mario was kind and said, "Okay, I will write to you."

I left and went straight home and chalked up another random outing that may or may not go anywhere.   It’s nice to meet new people and learn what they do with their life.  Some people are weird or strange; however, the strange and weird ones can easily be the most interesting of all.  Let’s see if I ever hear from Mario again.   His business prowess and brains impressed me at least.

“Everywhere there are strange people.” - Maria Dermout, THE TEN THOUSAND THINGS
 

Ping-Pong

We both kept this little Ping-Pong game going:  not knowing, not-not knowing, and not-not-not knowing?
-Andre Aciman, CALL ME BY YOUR NAME

I’ve made my decision to leave the SMART RESOURCE CENTER job in Walnut Creek and retreat to my old job in San Francisco where I’m appreciated and honored.   Why do I need to be in an environment where the higher management ‘woman’ hates me (without really knowing me) just because I was hired from within the company (while most of the others were hired off the street and fear losing the job).   My notice is quite fitting with Bette Midler’s song that keeps playing (WING BENEATH MY WINGS).   Every time I hear that song I think of that stupid SMART RESOURCE CENTER and I immediately change the station.   ‘It must have been cold there…’ are the beginning words of that song.   How could it not make me think of that stale place?   I’m anxious to see the new James Bond film LICENSE TO KILL.   I like the new James Bond, Timothy Dalton.   He actually reminds me of Steven Antol a bit because of the dark hair and blue eyes.   Speaking of the culprit…his letters are far and few between.   It’s a shame to not know.   I am wondering if he is back in a courtship phase with his ex-boyfriend, the Hawaiian known as Kuala.   That name reminds me of a Koala bear. 

I wonder what he looks like.   We had such a nicePing-Pong game going but I’m still waiting on him to make his next serve.   Why hasn't he written?In the previous James Bond film called THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS (from 1987) in which Timothy Dalton also had the prized role as 007 there was a love interest that appealed to me.   She was blond.   I find her to have an uncanny resemblance to Blake Bell who is in my acting class at ELITE MODELS in San Francisco.   She does look a lot like her and they’re both of ENGLISH descent.   The actress is named Maryam d’Abo.   I bet Blake is related to her via some bloodline.  I think Blake has taken a strong like to me; however, she’s got issues with her dad who is an alcoholic.   She confessed to learning a lot by attending Al-Anon meetings.
PHOTO:  Maryam d’Abo

June 14, 1989It was Wednesday and I was all for breaking the monotony of the work week.   Chris Hicks and Jim from the Gym wanted to go out.   I obliged.  

I told Chris, “As long as they don’t play that I’LL BE LOVING YOU FOREVER song by New Kids on the Block…I’m sick of it.Christinge laughed hysterically loud as she often does.  I adore the sound of her laugh.
PHOTO:  Christine Hicks,
June 14, 1989 during our night out on the town

June 18, 1989
I received another letter from Dorothy Rua.   I’m growing so attached to each and every piece of correspondence I receive from Dorothy and all that write to me.  She is the only true reward from by brief stint while working in Walnut Creek.   Dorothy wrote:

Dear Michael, I can’t help but think of you when I see a card shop.   I saw these over the weekend in the city of Sausalito.

What would we do without the MERCED crew?   Or Pacific Bell Directory’s SMART RESOURCE CENTER for that matter…   Of course I will always be glad PBD gave me the opportunity to meet a good friend like you!   Let’s stay in-touch no matter where our paths lead us.   Good friendships should be treasured.

If we can’t have lunch before you go to Florida we’ll work something out when you get back.   Have a great time on the beach with all of those beauties.   Love, D P.S. The California Watermelons wouldn’t fit in the envelope.

On June 18, 1989 I found a cool turquoise colored envelope (Paloma's favorite color) and a cool fashionable shirt/tie paper to go with it, so I decided to write to Paloma once again.   I wrote a few French phrases on the envelope to impress her.  I hope she will take notice:

Dear Paloma,
What's the scoop?   Are you still moving?  Here are a few photos taken of me in Hawaii in May 89.  I was still '29' then.   And now it's the BIG 30.  Yikes.   There's also a photo of a porcelain ceramic doll (one that my mom has, so you can see).  Do you ever see any of these porcelain dolls around in France? 

On August 26th I'm going to be in this major model showcase event for ELITE MODEL MANAGEMENT and agents are coming from all over the world (so they say) to see which models they may want to represent.   Maybe I'll get lucky and an agent will want me in LA, NY or PARIS...we'll see. 

I hope you like this card.   I thought it was pretty cool.  My mom's making French toast this Sunday morning.   Today is Father's Day--tell Alexandre "Happy Dad's Day" for me.   You can keep those photos or throw darts at them (or trash them...whatever).  

How are things in Balaruc?    Is the Residence Club fun?   I'll be in touch.
Always, Love,
Michael Armijo

‘Even when one is no longer attached to things, it’s still something to have been attached to them because it was always for reasons which other people didn’t grasp…’ 
–Edmund de Waal,
THE HARE WITH THE AMBER EYES