Michael Joe Armijo's Blog, page 2
August 3, 2025
The White Leo
“If we practice an eye for an eye,” said Ghandi, “and a tooth for a tooth, soon the whole world will be blind and toothless.” --Matthieu Ricard, in his book ALTRUISM
8-3-99 Tuesday, 11:50 AM
It’s a beautiful, hot day today. When the maid arrived at 7:15 AM, Alan & I rushed out of the house so they could do their “thing.” We took our NY Times, Investor’s Business Daily, Wall St. Journal & L.A. Times to Peet’s Coffee. After our morning reading time & coffee, we drove out to Malibu. I couldn’t help but appreciate the breeze + sun on my face as I glanced at the ocean + palm trees, cruising in the Porsche Boxster sports car. I appreciated it more after just completing Tuesdays with Morrie — the book! A true story about a man dying from Lou Gehrig’s disease + how he had such compassion for people, expressing ever so much love along the way. A lot of what I read is what I live by — but I admit to getting caught up in our culture of making money + material things.
All that really matters though is the love we share + the memories + relationships we build over time with family & friends.
I was talking to Alan today about how I sometimes feel I give him so much of my time. (Don’t get me wrong — I enjoy all the time I spend with him.) I just feel I have a lot more to give to so many.
I just came from a wonderful run at the pier & I sweat up a storm. It felt so good. I thought again about that letter from Monty in Thailand, who I met back in Oct. 1989 on an airport shuttle bus. I think he is defecting to Vancouver, Canada. Interesting. Well — time to call mom & share her cousin’s (her first cousin) recent letter (Marie Antoinette Anaya). This evening Alan and I rented the VHS of THE CLIENT. It was an excellent film: When an eleven-year-old boy witnesses a mafia-linked suicide in the woods of Memphis, his innocence is forever altered. Drawn into a deadly game of silence and survival, he finds an unlikely guardian in a fiercely intelligent lawyer with demons of her own. The Client is less about the courtroom than about the courage it takes to speak truth when every whisper could get you killed.
8-4-99 Wednesday
Besides working diligently Alan and I ended the day by watching THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT movie and THE JUROR. THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT:
Three student filmmakers vanish in the Maryland woods while chasing whispers of a centuries-old legend. Their footage—grainy, breathless, terrifyingly real—surfaces as a cinematic séance that changed horror forever. In The Blair Witch Project, it’s not what you see, but what you believe you saw, that leaves you haunted long after the credits roll.
THE JUROR
A single mother is chosen for jury duty, only to find herself under the sinister watch of a mob enforcer who wants a verdict fixed—by any means necessary. The Juror is a psychological tug-of-war between justice and fear, where moral decisions must outwit mafia threats and maternal instincts become a mother’s weapon of resistance.
8-5-1999
I had a meeting with Barry Smolev, a former Schwab client. He’s such a talker and wants aggressive investments. I told him I couldn’t do ‘high risk’ on his money. Alan agreed. This is one case where we could NOT accept him as a client. He is also very high maintenance. If an aggressive/high risk stock was purchased he’d be the type to call non-stop and annoy me.
This evening Alan and I went to THE PALM Restaurant in West Hollywood. We saw actor Ray Liotta there dining with a soap actor I recognized from my teen days of watching him in Days of Our Lives: actor Josh Taylor. Our waitress resembled and spoke like Linda Rubin (another former Schwab client). Linda was a handful. Alan and I mutually agreed at this dinner that there is no way we could take on Barry Smolev as a client.
8-6-1999
We saw MISS COCO PERU, the Drag Queen perform tonight. She was a hoot. This was a very different outing for us. We are NOT into seeing drag queens perform. Doing something rarely done can be quite the adventure.
8-7-1999
We did the run along the beach. We also did a hike at Temescal Canyon. I feel fit today. Alan and I went to see a movie at the theater called THE IRON GIANT.THE IRON GIANT:
A young boy in Cold War-era America befriends a massive robot from the stars—a machine built for destruction who learns instead the power of compassion. The Iron Giant is a timeless tale of friendship, fear, and the idea that what you choose to be matters more than what you were made to be. In the end, the greatest hero may be the one who chooses not to fight.
8-8-1999
Today, August 8th would have been my dad’s 64th Birthday. I miss his humor, intelligence and calmness.
This morning Alan and I joined his ex-wife, Susan, and Mady to Nate N’ Al’s for breakfast. I love The White Leo (Lox and Egg Whites and Onions scrambled) there. Mady was a school chum to Alan and Susan as they were growing up. Mady still lives in New York. She was visiting. Mady is the same age as me and we get along great. She makes me laugh. She’s a schoolteacher. I like her ways.
8-9-1999
Once again, we did the Marina Del Rey shoreline beach run. For dinner we joined Gloria and Jack at Madeline’s; then Alan and I settled in at home and watched a funny film before bedtime called THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY.
There’s Something About Mary
Decades after a prom night mishap, a hapless romantic hires a private investigator to find the girl who got away—only to discover she’s been turning heads and hearts ever since. There’s Something About Mary is a wild, crude, and surprisingly sweet comedy about obsession, reinvention, and the accidental magic of being perfectly imperfect.
“I have a confession. There’s something mysterious about you,” she said. “don’t get me wrong. It’s not that you’re tall, dark and handsome. You’re just dark and ‘sort of cute’.” --Viet Thanh Nguyen, THE SYMPATHIZER, a novel
July 27, 2025
Enjoy the Fruits of Your Labor
“Good looks count for something, after all!” he muttered. --Maruce Leblanc, in his book, THE CONFESSIONS OF ARSENE LUPIN 7/23, Fri Nite – Home
Gloria, Jack & I went to see this film which took place in Scotland called MY LIFE SO FAR. It was a slice of life about a little boy growing up in the Scotland countryside. It was well done and a good escape. It was coincidental because Susan Freiman got into a bit of a tiff with her boyfriend, Jaan Torv, so she cancelled her trip to N.Y. & Scotland. It was amusing that this film took place in Scotland. Well, Susan eventually relented and called Jaan — she is now in Scotland. Such is life.
I met my cousin Jose Mercado for dinner at the Daily Grill in West Hollywood. We talked about movies and his aspiring acting career. He’s so into his ethnicity. His father was Mexican (Mercado) & his mother Antonia (Rosie Garcia) was my dad’s 1st cousin. My dad’s mother (Mathilde) & Antonia’s father (Tony) were brother & sister. I also told Jose about our Verona business plan to get registered in N.Y. and eventually become bi-coastal! I had hinted about going to a movie with Jose — but I flaked=out suggesting that no great movies were out now — so we concluded dinner & we both went our merry way. He said his mom was coming in early October with one of his sisters for some L.A. Latin Film Festival. He has a 5-second spot in some Scott Bakula film called Luminarias (I think that’s the name of it). Jose also applied for some Jimmy Smits scholarship. Jimmy is an actor who is half Puerto Rican from his mother and Dutch from his father. I wish Jose much luck in a very competitive field.
I guess I’ll be heading to the office shortly. CNBC is still on & Alan’s on the computer upstairs. The maids have departed. Alan’s analyzing our Verona 30 stocks. I’m laughing because of the postcard on the next page — we removed Phillip Morris from our Verona 30 on June 30th — thus “impotent” card is another valid reason for its deletion. We may have to add it back into the Verona 30 because it is such a well-managed company.
I hope we get a good laugh at Miss Coco Peru when we go on August 6th to see her on-stage. It should be wild seeing a drag queen movie with Gloria & Jack as Miss Coco has a cameo in the film called TRICK. We also have the APLA Universal Studios party this Saturday. Lauren may come with her date/boyfriend, Mike Roth. He looks like an Abercrombie & Fitch model with nice blue eyes. They make such a cute couple & he’s so nice. I’m happy for her. After she goes to NYU, we'll see how it goes.Her good friend, Paul Rosenkampff, that she met last year at N.Y.U., will surely be jealous. Paul is very nice too but he’s a bit too direct & loud. He just had an ear operation because he had a loss of hearing in one ear after being at a concert (right next to the loudspeakers). I hope he’s doing okay. And it’s nice to see Lauren with such a “glow” about her new boyfriend Mike Roth. He seems to really care about her too, it’s wonderful to see. However, if she ends up with Paul that would be pretty special, also.
Well, time to look at the Verona 30 list the next time. Oh, I love the book called Blind Items that I’m now reading. It’s funny. 3:35 PM — Looks like the screening of THE DEEP BLUE SEA is cancelled. We just accepted an invitation by Ron DeSalvo to go to the Hollywood Bowl tonight. We’re in these cool Pool Circle box seats. Alan & I rented The Deep Blue Sea at 7 Eleven, so we can see the film anytime. In addition, we can look at this as a ‘business endeavor’. Ron stated he wants me to become a client of ours someday. Ron is a top real estate sales guy in Beverly Hills and the Hollywood Hills. We will just make the best of it and have a great time, I’m sure.
Alan started his own little black book calendar. Let’s see how long this lasts!
I think it’s good. He thought I’d be upset — but I don’t enjoy jotting down his social and business plans as if I were his secretary or something.
It’s good that we’re going to the Hollywood Bowl tonight. We had flaked out on Ron on Fri 7/16 (the night JFK Jr. died) for an OUTFEST movie. We did the right thing in calling him yesterday. We’ll see how it goes with Ron. He was such The Mr. Name Dropper when we met him at The Golden Door—but in a subtle sort of way.
I received a couple of wonderful letters. One from my cousin in Puebo, Colorado and one from Monty Ng in Bangkok, Thailand. I met him in October 1989 when I first moved to LA. He was traveling in a shuttle bus with his grandfather, and we exchanged phone numbers, and we’ve maintained our friendship via occasional correspondence.
July 23, 1999
Dearest Cousin Michael,
Hope and pray, as always, that you and all the family are doing great. I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to write. I received your beautiful cards & as always, I’m so happy to hear from you! Rest assured that even though it takes me a while — you're always in my thoughts and prayers. Your birthday vacation sounded incredible. You've worked so hard. Now is the time to enjoy the “fruits of your labor!”
You’ve asked me so many questions in past correspondence that I’ve neglected to answer! I’m going back through each one and I will get back to you on them, O.K.?
I’m so glad that things are going so good with your new endeavor. I’m sure everything’s going to be fine young man, the Lord will help you in any undertaking.
I’m so sad about JFK Jr. I was in typing class my senior year when JFK was assassinated and all the sisters & students (we were in the Cathedral) went into the Cathedral and prayed for what seemed hours. We all prayed that he’d survive it, but Our Lord needed him!
It just seems that much of the wonderful people around us are being called “home.”
I guess that means that I’ll probably live to a ripe old age! Tee-Hee
I tell those close to me that if H-E-double-hockey-sticks (HELL) is anything like it’s described — I’d better change my ways — Richie says the Yard Guard (I think she means “God”) told him he wants to be placed in asbestos suit & two fire extinguishers. I’m terrible to be talking like this huh? But it’s my way of coping, so please forgive me.
In all reality, I’ve known so many wonderful people, related or not, who have gone to be with Our Lord that I know in my heart they have gone to a wonderful place of peace & joy & warmth — and that we will all be reunited in the end! Don’t you?
Enough said!
I’m going back to work at the Hospital for the early part of September. I had quit to take care of Mom but now I think it’s time to go back. I’ll be taking care of Destyne during the day and work graveyard shift.
Destyne is such a wonderful little creation. She’s so smart! She learned her alphabet at around 1 ½ yrs and now she’s learned her prayers. Of course, consistency is the key, and believe me I am consistent. Lord willing, she’ll be age three on September 2 so we’re making birthday party plans.
I know I spoil her rotten but that’s what grandmas do — don’t they?
God bless you sweet cousin. So, until I hear from you — take care and give my love to all the family!
Love ya,
Your Cousin,
Marie Antoinette
I thought it funny that my friend Birda who recently became a grandma wrote similar words about how she will spoil her grandson because that’s what grandmas do.
July 24, 1999
Michael,
Hey! How are you? I called you twice while I was in L.A. but just could not reach you — I only found myself talking to the answering machine. I think you must have got my message left on April 23 or 24, 1998.
It was too bad that you were not in, and I was unable to stay any longer. Anyway, I plan to visit California again early next year, for I plan to migrate to CANADA where I can make a stopover in L.A. first before heading toward my final destination to Vancouver, B.C.
Well, tell me what you are up to? Hope things are going fine with you there. I heard you are running your own business now and maybe you can help me with some contacts. We can discuss later. Could you tell me something about benefits as a Californian yourself in terms of social welfare, Medicare, education, etc. (esp. age 65)? Write and tell me when you can. I must sign off here as I am now out of space.
Take care, Monty
I loved how Monty created this stamp of his face as his closing signature. That was so creative of him.
7/27/99, 9:40 AM
Alan & I are watching CNBC, waiting for the maids to leave. The DOW is at 10,993, up 132 pts from yesterday — so that’s a fair recovery. Intel is almost at a new high at $67 which is nice.
Alan & I just returned from Madeleine’s Bakery — they were short-handed without a waitress, so the guy there was in a “tizzy.” Alan was flirting with him & helping him out. I guess Alan thinks I’m blind to those things. Or is it just my imagination? Maybe he wasn’t flirting.
I’m running with Monica at 4pm today & we have a pre-screening of Deep Blue Sea in Westwood tonight. That will probably be scary — with the sharks that have tinges of intelligence—!? What a concept.
I must mention last Saturday night. Gloria got tickets for Alan & I & Jack & her to the Venice Family Clinic party at the El Capitan Theatre in Hollywood. We first popped into the Wolfryd-Selway Art Gallery in West Hollywood & saw one large NYC scene painting we mutually liked. After the mediocre glass of white wine, we departed for the El Capitan. We were early & walked over to The Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood & played little games like “How much do you think the hotel room rate is here?” It was $159. We felt like we were in a time warp — very old & place! (At least I did.)
Well, we also played a rating game of how great this Venice Clinic fundraiser would be — with 10 being the ultimate & 1 being very poor. I guessed 4, Gloria guessed 8, Alan guessed 3½, Jack guessed 5. We were all wrong. It was a 2.
However, Alan & I deducted that it could have been an 8 or 9 if it was a GAY related affair (Ha-Ha) — because with the right organization like APLA, a great party could have been made there. Oh well, we chalked it up to a good cause.
11am, 7/28/99
Photo: Iconic 1992 Photo of Cindy Crawford from Super Bowl XXVI TV commercial
The Hollywood Bowl outing was worth it. It was the SUMMER FESTIVAL ‘99 performance with the Los Angeles Philharmonic Association. Ron DeSalvo was very nice to have us as his guests in this Pool Circle box. We all learned a bit more about each other. The mix of violins & piano concerto was soothing to listen to. Ron is very much into self-teaching seminars. He knows and praises Tony Robbins, a motivational, self-improvement seminar giver. He couldn’t help but name drop — and I sort of like how he shadowed Cindy Crawford for some houses to buy. He asked a lot about Verona too. Who knows—maybe he’ll become a client. He signed up to visit The Golden Door again in early June (next year, 2000). Alan just left for the office — I’m waiting for Monica Small to show up. She said she’s running about 15 minutes late. I’ll give her a tour of the house, walk to the Marina Pier & have a light bite to eat with her. She’s getting married Aug. 7th and will be moving to Missouri soon so it’s a sort of farewell time between us. She met some Christian guy online so I’m not so sure how that will pan out.
Dan Cuevas should be calling us today about dinner & the theatre tonight. He’s a character. I enjoy his company.
Alan & I didn’t do abdominal exercises yesterday, so we must do double today! Alan fit into the Black HUGO BOSS 32-inch waist pants today.
MaryAnn Gehling, my cousin in Colorado Springs, wants me to write a 2½-page short story. I told her I would, but I haven’t even started. I kind of have an idea of what I might write about. I thought of the story last night while listening to the Hollywood Bowl concert & visualizing.
8-1-1991
Dear Michael,
How are you?
I am fine. It’s so hot. The hotel is so big. We get breakfast free.
I hope you feel better.
My dog got hit by a car, but she is OK.
I miss you.
Love,
Carrie
“It’s not going to be easy...a few steps forward, a few steps back. If you’re heading in the right direction, then there’s no shame in the stumbles.” --Abigail Dean, in her book, GIRL A
July 20, 2025
Veggie Burgers and Unsaid Words
•In a world where you don’t know what will happen next, I just do what I can right now.” --Michiko Aoyma, in her book WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR IS IN THE LIBRARY
Wednesday, 7/21/99 – 10am
I’m here at the Verona office and the news this morning is that they recovered JFK Jr.’s body last night. Today, they’re still working on locating his wife and sister-in-law.
The cover of Time Magazine shows a great picture of JFK, 1960–1999. The issue also includes a pictorial of his family tree. I found it interesting. All of America can’t help but be reminded of the brevity and unpredictability of life itself.
I know I’m not the only one in this mood.
On Monday, I located an unofficial JFK Jr. website. It included a Yahoo message board for people to express their feelings and emotions. When I looked on Monday, there were 20,000+ visitors. Yesterday, 30,000+. Now there are over 42,000. The last message was #690. I was message #234.
Here’s what I wrote on this site:
Yahoo! GeoCities – John F. Kennedy Jr.: An Unofficial Site — The Guestbook
Message 234 of 690
To Caroline & her family
by: Michael Joe Armijo
I simply want to express how sad I am. JFK Jr. will never turn 40. The fact that I won’t experience him turning 40, as I will be moving toward it saddens me. I have frequent flashbacks (BUBBY’s) myself. In a way, we were of the same generation. I hope that one day he would ultimately be our U.S. President. The sorrow especially goes out to his immediate family and friends. JFK Jr. will always remain admired.
The stock market took a beating yesterday. Alan and I agreed it was due to the depressed feelings—and how money does not matter. No one said it, but it’s true. JFK Jr. must have had a net worth of over 80 million easily, and now—look.
Photo: JFK Jr. and wife Carolyn, leaving their Tribeca loft on North Moore. Was it before their first cup of Java?
Well, it sounds silly now, but I’m going to now work on my June '99 Verona expense reimbursements.
Alan and I had a nice dinner with Dan Cuevas last night at Café del Rey. It looks like Alan wants to hire him as our designer for our new Tribeca loft. It’s exciting to dwell on it. I do love New York City, and all that Manhattan has to offer in arts, entertainment, culture, food, and excitement.
OK—back to my Peet’s coffee and my phone conversation with Mom about JFK’s unexpected death.
Thursday, 7/22/99 – 9pm
Today was the burial at sea of JFK Jr., his wife Carolyn, and his sister Lauren.
It’s such a sad ending.
I have problems of my own though. Alan has this imagination that runs wild when I’m not with him. Today I had a date at 4 o’clock to run with Monica Small. I guess he expected me at ‘six o’clock on the nose’. He seems so very distant right now. Monica and I completed two laps around the Brentwood Country Club and then strolled over to her apartment for a Gatorade refresher.
The run seemed easy for me today. IN fact, as I drove along in the 1971 Mercedes I decided to NOT go home. I guess I got home at 7:15pm but being summer and all it was still a crystal-clear day. Alan started yelling, interrogating about where I had been. He said he called Monica and knew I’d left at 5:30 or so. It was all so ridiculous that I literally hated his questioning. I could clearly sense that he didn’t trust me. He later psychoanalyzed the situation and made quite clear that he had an imagination that was running wild.
He blatantly said, “Even IF you were having an affair or a fling, you wouldn’t tell me.”
I admitted that I probably wouldn’t. It’s a weird thing. I guess because we aren’t married in the literal sense that I (at first) didn’t feel I had to explain anything. He insisted that I knew we had plans to be home and have ‘veggie burgers’. We never made a definite commitment about a time for me to be home. Alas, we are having relationship problems. It’s been 9½ years now, and sometimes I feel like we’re at cliffside—ready to fall. Of course, I love him, but I think he is overly possessive. I even feel guilty about asking Monica to a movie or something.
I announced, “I invited Monica to the house next Wednesday.”
He reacted in an odd way. As if ‘why on earth would you do such a thing?’ Is he obsessed with me? I do love being with him. It’s especially different now because since 1/15/99 I have not worked for Charles Schwab and been subject to the 8–4:30 grind.
We’re together a 24/7. This is a lot more together. We used to romance more and that romantic sparkle is a far and few between occurrence now.
We were just eating our veggie burgers a moment ago—he was so quiet. I know he was thinking/imagining. I didn’t utter a word. I did ask, “Will you watch a video with me?”
He didn’t want to watch a video with me. I’m surprised he took an interest to know what movie (Age of Innocence).
And then, he nonchalantly came downstairs and said, “I’m going to the gym.”
I responded with an “OK.”
I know he wanted to hear something like, “I want to go too, or don’t leave me, watch the video with me.”
He accepted my “OK” and gave me a couple of peck-kisses. Then he left.
How do I feel? Well, I think it’s healthy for him to go out and do things on his own. In our 9½ years, it’s always been the two of us. I enjoy my solitary time—reading, writing. I remember when I used to love my solitary therapeutic bike rides. Those solitary therapeutic times have been taken away from me by Alan. I mean—I love being with him. I never get tired of his presence. He’s so energetic, dramatic, and exciting—how can anyone get tired or bored of him?
One thing I know is that our relationship does need some reexamining. November 20th (our 10-year mark) is very close, and I hope to see marked improvements.
He asked, “Do you want to throw away all we’ve worked on in terms of our relationship in these last 9½ years?”
I answered, “No.” There’s no way it can ever be thrown away.
My friend Birda is a grandma now. Somehow, it’s a reminder of what makes the world go round. I mean—JFK Jr. lost his life early—but now we have Christopher Todd here. This is good.
Well—let me watch Age of Innocence. It’s not exactly a comedy—but it will be thought-provoking, to go back-in-time, nonetheless.
Birda sweetly wrote these words to me in her card:
Michael, I received your post card and will be going to see Run Lola Run.
I am a Grandma now! Christopher Todd Keller II was born on June 17, 1999 at 4:03 p.m. He weighed 7/16 ½ oz. and was 19½ inches long.
He is beautiful. I was able to be in the room when he was born. It was fantastic. He was awake for 3 hours after he was born and I got to hold him and tell him how much I love him. I never thought I would be happy to be a Grandma, but he is so sweet and loves to cuddle. I am going up next week to babysit and I can’t wait. I know I am going to spoil him, but it is O.K. I AM GRANDMA!
Anyway, I got a new bike, a beach cruiser. It fits the Grandma life and it’s fun to ride.
Well, I better go. Hope all went well at the dentist. Take Care. Write back soon. Thanks again for the stock information. It is doing great.
Always,
Birda
(Grandma)
7/26/99 — 1:05 PM This photo was taken at the Ritz Carlton in Marina del Rey for 4th of July 1999. What a gruesome threesome. Ha-Ha.
What a day! Here I am at the Verona Office & I get a call from Daniella Sapriel & Barry Smolev! Give me a break! Well, Daniella is cool. I’ll send her a card. I also spoke to Don Castleman who asked me to send him my new business card. Daniella, Barry and Don were all clients of mine at Charles Schwab & Co. They must miss me.
I made call-in reservations to see Miss Coco, a comical drag queen, on August 6, 1999.
I asked John Tuzziano to investigate going to the APLA Summer Party this Saturday night with his latest conquest named Kelly.
‘No matter how old the hurt or how deep the wound, love heals everything.’--Daniella Sapriel, in her book ENDING THE WAR BETWEEN MARS AND VENUS
July 13, 2025
Between Hope and Headlines
There was no such thing as perfect privacy, life was a perpetual concert hall recital with a captive audience. --Rohinton Mistry, A FINE BALANCEJuly 13th, 1999, 10pm: Alan & I have had an eventful couple of days since I last wrote.
I left a message for Jose Mercado, my cousin, thanking him for the Shakespeare/LA invite. I urged him to call me when his schedule was free, so that I may treat him to a superb dinner.
Yesterday evening, Alan & I were lucky to get in to see a new French film called The Dinner Game. It was funny! It was based on a true story about these guys that would host a weekly dinner & each guy had to invite a true dimwit/idiot. The bet would be on as to who invited the most idiotic guest. Anyway, the film centered around that premise & it really was quite funny.
We were lucky because I was invited to The Dinner Game by Lisa De Sablet, who is in charge of media events with the French Consulate here in L.A. She works in my building. We were also invited by LAFTA (LA Film Teachers Assn) but most of the LAFTA people didn’t get in.Today, Alan & I got a lot accomplished — bringing 2 large, hefty bags filled with packets to the Salvation Army.
We also took the red car (’71 Mercedes 280SE) in for service at Al & Ed's. They hopefully cleared the security alarm problem once & for all. If I ever go back to Al & Ed's, I hope it will be for a new NOKIA phone! That reminds me of that film Queer As Folk & how two of the main characters couldn’t be without their phones.
Intel's earnings came out today & they were two pennies less than expected. By the second half of this year they expect a major blow out, so that is great news.
One of the greatest things that happened today was seeing a Peruvian film called No Digas a Nadie (Don’t Tell Anyone). It was really good & of course it had a homosexual theme. But it really dealt with how it’s so not accepted in Latin America. What a very well-done film. We loved it immensely. I could so relate with the main character Joaquin as well as his attraction to Alejandra & Gonzalo.
After the movie Alan & I drove to Beverly Hills Whole Foods for a ½ sandwich where I spotted Reese Witherspoon shopping — looking very pregnant with Ryan Phillippe’s baby. I’ll have to exchange a few quick words with her about how I knew she’d be a star after seeing her acting talents at a young age in The Man in the Moon — but we were at the checkout stand headed for a screening at Polygram with Albert Brooks, Sharon Stone, & Andie MacDowell called THE MUSE. That film was quite amusing. We laughed & laughed. Alan really got a kick out of the “WE” lines.
Of course, we ran into Linda Rubin there. Funny because she had just left me a phone message today thanking me for sending my notes from The Ideal Husband. Well, The Muse was surprisingly good. Oh — I found a card from my cousin Marie Antoinette, as I hadn’t heard from her since my birthday, so I dropped her a card the other day. I think I forgot to respond to the card & the little electronic Digital Daily Diary, she sent me — of which I doubt I’ll ever use — but isn’t it always the thought that counts?
I received an e-mail from a distant (unknown) Armijo cousin who found my Yahoo Armijo club which was quite amusing. Imagine his father & mother being raised as brother & sister! He wrote, "My father was born in Denver and his parents to NM when he was two years old as his parents died when he was seven. So, my mom's family adopted him into their family. When he was seventeen, he joined the US ARMY, taking his surname back (Armijo) and he was actually my mom's brother for ten years."
Is this some invite postcard or what? I got one & then they sent me another & wrote Gloria’s name on the back of it! It should be interesting — photography, drawings, & sculptures. It’s next Wednesday, July 21st. I’ll have to go just to ogle over the scene. The cigar reminds me of Bill Clinton & Monica Lewinsky. The event is curated by Philip Hitchcock from July 7-Aug 28, 1999 and it's called "Bad boys...ROUGH TRADE". Paloma’s Lost Letter - Paloma had sent me the following letter to my Verona Capital Management office but I never received it. Luckily she was able to re-send it to me. She titles it 'THE LOST LETTER': Paloma Alquier
Résidence Les Hauts de Balaruc
Pinède de Pech Méjà
34540 Balaruc Les Bains
Dear Michael,
Thank you so much for your long letter, I’m so happy every time I get one. I loved all the documents you sent me about the Bellagio; in fact I’ve heard about it on TV. Next time we’ll go to Vegas, we’ll spend one night there (I’ve already also planned one night at the Caesar, at the Paris, at the New York, at the Treasure Island and maybe again at the Mirage and the Luxor to show them to Jonathan because we loved them), that’s already seven nights if I didn’t forget any. In fact I thought about going in December 1999 so I called the Luxor to find out about their rates, in 1996 we paid about 210 $ for one night in a jacuzzi suite, this time I don’t remember exactly but that was something like 500 $ for one night in a regular room and we had to stay for 3 or 4 nights at least, that was too expensive so I changed my mind. It might not be a good idea to go there so close to the year 2000. I think they probably want to take advantage of that. If you hear about some good deal, please let me know.
We’ve got a big problem for our holidays now, we can only take them between mid-December and mid-February and during that period Jonathan has only got vacations for Christmas (2 weeks), then he’s got 2 weeks in February but too late for us as it’s harder and harder to make him miss school. I did for one week this year to go to Spain because he works really well, he is so smart :) Talking about him here is a drawing he made for you to thank you for the Silver Surfer he loved it, it looks really cool in his room, that’s an hero we don’t know in France but the other day we saw a tape with him at the video club, we are going to rent it.
He will make you another one!
I haven’t seen the movie about Federico García Lorca, they’re not playing it here but I’d love to, he’s always been my favorite poet, he talks to my roots, the older I get the more interested I am in my past (it seems like you too, too bad you can’t watch our tapes). I have one about the grandfather of my father who was Prime Minister at the beginning of the century talking with the King of Spain then, Alfonso XIII. I’ll show you that when you’ll come.
I was so amazed when I heard the 2BE3 on your tape, if they were famous in the States they would talk about it all day long, but I figured you found out about them in Europe.
They are just gorgeous and so good for gymnastics but it’s not working too well for them anymore, Jonathan used to be a big fan when he was 10. One of them has made a movie lately with that basketball star who’s got tattoos all over his body, hair all kinds of different colors and who married Carmen Electra, I think. I just can’t remember his name right now but I’m sure you know who I’m talking about. (His name is Filip, the 2BE3 guy not the basketball player!) and he looks also like Alain Delon when he was young. Alain Delon even told him that once on a TV show.
Photo: Alain Delon
I always think about Santa Cruz too and on how much fun we used to have together.The little lingerie store I told you about (where I stood by Woody Allen) seems to be very famous for the stars. We read in a magazine that Naomi Campbell goes there too (they close the store for her, seems she gets a better treatment than Woody), it’s called Sabbia Rosa.
Talking about Spago, remember I told you that the owner (I think) used to work at a great restaurant called L’Oustau de Baumanière in Les Baux de Provence, well we’re supposed to go there at the end of this month for 2 nights, 2 dinners and 2 breakfasts, it belongs to a fantastic group of hotels called Les Relais Chateaux. I have won a weekend worth about $1000 with a magazine that had awarded me some jewels last year. I just can’t tell you how happy I am! That’s one of the best tables in France so I guess I can say in the world! (I don’t mean to offend you of course! Especially since you know how I feel about a lot of American things. You are the best for almost everything except for food and now soccer!
I’m really happy for you, congratulations for your company, my brother in Paris just did the same but it would be too long to explain, maybe you’ll talk to him some time, he spends lots of time on the net. I told him to write you since it seems you are kind of doing the same business (not exactly) but he is a lazy English writer. I’d like to do something else too, but I don’t know what, I hope it works for my brother. “And for YOU too, of course!”
Lucky you! I’d love to go to New York and to the island of Aruba, how was it? I need some sunshine too! We’ve got great weather right now though. If I was rich, I would go to Las Vegas, to San Francisco and from there to Hawaii, to see my friend, Monica, did I tell you that she does pretty much the same job as mine, she rents apartments, isn’t that funny? And to Tahiti, but right now I’m poor, how sad! (You won’t work for me!) Especially that I’m writing you on Alexandre’s new computer, a portable Dell Inspiron 7000, who added to my Twingo was not very good to our fortune (and way less exotic than Bora Bora!).
I know Roche Bobois very well, we’ve even got a store in Montpellier (in Lattes exactly) and next time I’ll go I’ll take their catalogue for you since it seems you like what they do, I remember you already told me about them when we went to your house.
As I read this letter from Paloma, I’m not sure if I answered all of her questions. I meant to write her a lengthy letter tomorrow. After seeing the film Don’t Tell Anyone today it reminded me of my relationship with Paloma. Joaquin’s repression and character in the film were part of me at one time. I’m lucky we maintained the connection we have to this day.Paloma & I love to share the movies we’ve enjoyed.
Hey — I wonder if she saw The Matrix?
I loved it!
I saw Laurence Fishburne in N.Y. at the Felix Restaurant in SoHo in early June — sandwiched between two white girls. I would’ve loved to tell him I remembered seeing him as a kid on One Life to Live.
We are the same age too (more or less). Well, he played a cool character in The Matrix.
Ferne Marshall Theis sent me this 'goldfish' card. I don’t know if she’ll ever be a Verona client but I’ll keep her as a contact for the time being.What have I got to lose?
Maybe she’ll refer someone to me?
I’m fiddling online with the Intel Web Outfit site. I have to download this n’ that & it seems more like a “waiting game” so far. I’ll try & be a bit more patient with it.
Monica Small & I did our run yesterday at 4pm & we ran twice around the Brentwood Country Club. The best part was that she had trouble keeping up with me! That’s cool. I truly think my daily ab work & eating habits are the reason behind my vigor.
Alan gave me the cool Evian postcard on the opposite page while we ate a light dinner at The Wolfgang Puck on Sunset — before the “not as great” screening of Sitcom. In fact, his card was one of the better parts of the evening! The Evian ad is from Amsterdam, The Netherlands. I love the blue hues.
This is Kailei Teresa Lopez, Carmen Cazessus’ only daughter. Carmen just left the Verona office. She’s job hunting & we had a nice chat as I was playing with my Intel Web Outfitter, trying to get a music video going.
Photo: Kailei Teresa Lopez
Ron De Salvo (one of the guys we met at the Golden Door) who is also on the board of Project Angel Food, called while Carmen was there to invite Alan & I to the Hollywood Bowl tonight. Unfortunately, we have OUTFEST tickets tonight for the screenings of Story of a Bad Boy & Man Is a Woman, so that was too kind, Ron, to think of us though!Alan is confirming donations shortly so we can go to Whole Foods or the new Rainbow Health food place in the Marina. I got the Jennifer Paige “CRUSH” video playing on my computer.
July 17, 1999, sometime around Noon:
Today is a day of hope in the United States of America. It seems that around 1am last night, John F. Kennedy Jr. and his wife & his sister-in-law Lauren Bessette flew out from JFK Jr.’s plane in New Jersey en route to Martha’s Vineyard. Debris & a plane’s wreckage have been spotted by the U.S. Coast Guard. It’s still a mystery because the missing three have not been found.
I am John Kennedy Jr.’s age. I know everyone my age and generation hoped to one day see JFK Jr. as a State Senator and then, one day, the President of the US. I guess it's too early to jump to the conclusion of his demise, but we all have glimmers of hope. It's just that the longer they are missing the worse it must be. I can already envision all of the magazine covers next week. I remember the day we saw his salute to his father’s coffin. Those will be JFK Jr. collector’s items of 1999.
All I can think right now is that LIFE is most precious.
Alan & I did our abs & we just returned from a good run to the Marina Pier.
Today we are to be in Studio City at 1 o’clock for Monica Small’s bridal shower. Apparently, there will be more men than women at this shower. Monica has no girlfriends. She always got along with guys only--never girls. Isn't that interesting?
Last night Alan & I saw 2 films:
The Story of a Bad Boy was a “C–” not so great.
The Bad Boy was a BAD choice.
The French film Man is a Woman, which should have been subtitled as A Man Has A Feminine Side, was an “A+.” It had some Jewish humor & we certainly need more private stories. It’s a must-see for everyone!
Breaking news discovery: JFK Jr.’s plane was built in 1995. JFK Jr. bought the plane used in April 1999. The Press is asking whether JFK Jr. had a cast on the foot. The news is getting more somber as time passes & I feel sad for the Kennedy family. Caroline (JFK’s sister) may be the sole surviving heir to continue the legacy of the primary First Family of John F. Kennedy.
We are members of Outfest Film Festival through Jan. 2000. We will have to watch for the weekly Village Theatre screenings on outfest.org.
I just found the business card of Dino Morra. He did my facial at Ole Henriksen a couple of months ago. I could sure use that treatment now. I’m dripping with sweat right now from my recent run. After running I definitely need some sort of hygiene, so I’ll go shower now & beautify myself as best I can for this bridal shower that I’ve committed to.
July 17, 1999, 10:30 PMAlan & I have had quite an eventful day. We arrived in Studio City at 1:00 and were the first guests to arrive.
It was an odd bridal shower because Monica definitely had no female friends there at all--only her mother. I felt sad about that fact for some reason. I was glad I attended. Alan said I did not owe him for attending, so I think he enjoyed the observation of another family. Monica has a gay brother. Her mom dated film director, Peter Bogdanovich, but they never married.
JFK Jr. still hasn’t been found & we just returned from seeing Eyes Wide Shut. It was a sexual thriller about a married couple (Tom Cruise & Nicole Kidman) involved in deception. In the end, they were grateful for what they had, despite the betrayal — in dreams or reality. Her last word was to do something right away = “FUCK.”
My cousin Edward was kind enough to remember me while in France to send me this St. Michel card which I received today. I wonder if he heard about the tragic vanishing of John F. Kennedy Jr. The entire JFK Jr. touched me, as he & his wife may have been our neighbors in Tribeca, NYC Manhattan.9:45 AM, Sunday
Alan & I invited Jack & Gloria to accompany us to Nate ’n Al’s. Of course, the infamous Jack Lew Wasserman was in the booth seated next to us.
Gloria was on a kick about her new male neighbor who lived alone & she had assumptions that he is gay. The best was her observation — that he likes to eat outside on the courtyard — so that makes him gay. There are so many gay stereotypes — but that was a new one.
There’s still no positive news about John Kennedy Jr. & his wife & sis-in-law. I clipped this morning’s NY Times headline & a tidbit of one of the articles about their Tribeca neighborhood — where we will soon be living.
Sunday, July 18, 1999: “John Kennedy’s Plane Vanishes Off Cape Cod”It’s visually memorable to me the photos I saw of John Kennedy Jr. & Caroline, his mother, while in Soho in early June this year at the Peter Beard exhibit. Alan said you could sense the closeness John & Caroline had to Peter Beard during their visits to Africa. The tragedy may turn out to be a great loss to America — but we never will know.
I’ll head out to order oatmeal & a cafe latte at Bubby’s in Tribeca in honor JFK Jr. He would hang out there or drop in for coffee, so we've heard.
The Coast Guard is still continuing to search today. We can’t help but hold high hopes.
Alan is yawning in the computer room — I’m over here reading Barron’s Financial Pages, drinking iced tea. I'm trying to be as up-to-date and word savvy as I can be. Next, I want to relax & read Breakfast at Tiffany’s.
This is my idea of an ideal Abercrombie & Fitch male model. And this Black & White picture of Liz Taylor is proof that a woman is her most beautiful at age 27.
Postcard to Mom (7-16-99)
To:Virginia Armijo
356 Magnolia Dr.
Alameda, CA 94502-7056
Postmarked: Marina del Rey, CA
Message:
Hi Mom—
Good news. I gained one new client today — Bill Dailey. He only has $140,000.00 but it’s a start.
I thought I’d drop you a line. I’m looking forward to my visit in August. I told Barbara Reynolds & Jim From the Gym that I’d be in town — but I haven’t confirmed any lunch/dinner plans w/ either one yet.
I hope your knee is fine. Do the abdominal exercises I taught you while you watch your novellas. It’s very good for you!!
Love,
Michael
To:
Paloma Alquier
Résidence Les Hauts de Balaruc
Pinède de Pech Méja
34540 Balaruc Les Bains
France
Dear Paloma,
It has been a while since I took the time to really write you a nice, “longer than usual” letter so I decided to take the time today. I have been keeping a journal and it is pretty fun. I include articles, postcards & clip pictures so that the journal practically has an illustration on every page. Yes, I’ve written about you already.
I thought of you yesterday because I saw this excellent film at OUTFEST (It’s the Los Angeles Gay Film Festival) called No Se Lo Digas A Nadie (Don’t Tell Anyone). It was so good. The main character named Joaquín and the girl he really had a crush on named Alejandra (nicknamed Ale) reminded me of you and I. It hit me deeply. If you ever get a chance to see it… please do. It is directed by Francisco Lombardi. He is from Lima, Peru.
I also got an invite from my friend Lise De Sablet at the L.A. French Consulate to see the L.A. Premiere of The Dinner Game. There were a lot of French people there. I think there were even some French actors/actresses but I had no idea who they were. Francis Veber was there & he said a few words. You probably know of him because he wrote The Dinner Game and is famous for also doing La Cage Aux Folles. Anyway, The Dinner Game was very funny. They could also do it as a play. I really enjoyed it. I understand it won 3 Césars too.
So, are you thinking of going to Las Vegas anytime soon? I just got an e-mail from Bellagio LasVegas.com about a special they are offering of only $109.00 per night. I think they have an overabundance of hotel rooms in Vegas and the rates are getting cheaper. Then again, it is July and it is extremely HOT in July and August. So… I’m letting you know of the good deal going on. If you have access online you should register at www.bellagiolasvegas.com and they will e-mail you with specials too. I tried to use that e-mail address you gave me, but it doesn’t seem to work. Do you have a new e-mail address now?
I really want to see that tape the next time I make it to Balaruc of your great grandfather, the Prime Minister, speaking with Alfonso XIII, the King of Spain. That sounds so interesting. Did I tell you that I found out that the very first Armijo’s came from Northern Spain near the Cantabrian Sea in a small village called Laredo in the 1200’s? That’s as far back as my research goes when it comes to searching the history of Armijo.
I have an Armijo Club on Yahoo that I created. I am the founder, and I have about 36 members so far.
I never caught that movie with Dennis Rodman and the 2 Be 3 guy. I wonder what it was called. I’m not a very big fan of Dennis Rodman. He seems kind of creepy to me.
How did your weekend go at Les Baux de Provence at the Les Relais Chateaux hotel? Alan & I always try to stay at one of those hotels. Les Relais Chateaux hotels are the best. Did I tell you we’re taking our mothers to Spain and Italy in October 1999?
We will be in Rome until Oct 12th, then go to the Positano/Capri area from 10/13 thru 10/15, then Tuscany from 10/16–10/17 and drive to Milan on 10/18 and leave Milan the next day (10/19) on Virgin Air direct to Madrid. We will be in Madrid from 10/20 thru 10/24. We return to L.A. on 10/24. We are staying at a top-notch Hotel in Madrid called The Palace. I’ve never been there before, but Alan said he took his mom there for her 70th birthday five years ago and it was fabulous.
I did recall that your brother was involved with the Paris CAC at one time. That’s cool that he is in sort of the same finance field. I still remember him (Luis). I didn’t know he lived in Paris.
Speaking of your friend Monica in Hawaii, two new Monica’s entered my life. One is named Monica Webb. She is a client. She owns a small company, and she does dub work and subtitling of American films for foreign countries. That sure is specialized, huh?
The other Monica I met when I worked at Charles Schwab. I was attracted to her. She is tall… about 5'8" and we run together sometimes. I finally told her about Alan & I a few months ago. Funny thing, she is now getting married! She met some guy on the internet through a Christian Introduction Service. She was always a little too religious for my liking… but anyway… the guy she met lives near St. Louis, Missouri so she is moving there temporarily and hopes to one day move to Northern California near Carmel where her mother lives. A lot of single people are meeting and marrying through the internet. I’m happy for her though.How is your friend, Monica, doing in Hawaii? Does she write often?
Here I am in the Verona office… being ever so productive today, writing to you. Haha Well, that’s what’s nice about being “the boss”. Alas, I hope to be going to France sooner than later. I’ll write again and my best regards to Jonathan & Alexandre.
Love Always,
Michael
On August 21st I am taking my nieces, Ashley and Holly to see this group called NSYNC. It's the hot ticket these days for teeny-bopper girls. I'm looking forward to that event with them. Speaking of music, the soundtrack of this film called EDGE OF SEVENTEEN we say at the Outfest Film Festival really took me back to the early 1980s. I loved the music so much that I had to buy the CD because I felt like it was music that has been a BIG part of me. It definitely generates a mood. Sunday, 7-18-99
Dear Paloma,
Alan & I saw this French film the other night. You may have seen it — I don’t know. We thought it was so well done. The French director was there with a translator. It was funny. I said the title Man Is A Woman is stupid because it’s next to impossible to translate: Un Homme est une Femme Comme les Autres.
I think they should’ve titled it Man Has A Feminine Side. Well, it was a great movie anyway.
It’s sad here (in the U.S.) because John Kennedy Jr. & his wife & sis-in-law are still missing as I write this. They lived in Tribeca N.Y. — the area where Alan & I may be living. We like that area a lot.
We’re going to N.Y. the end of August to help Lauren move into her new dorm.
Oh yes — Eyes Wide Shut wasn’t very good. It was about a couple (Cruise & Kidman) & the deceptions they kept from one another.
In the end, they were grateful for what they built into their relationship despite any unfaithful dreams or realities.
Well — have a Happy Day.
Love to you & your family,
Michael Armijo
"I knew that one way to get rid of any depression was to do something for somebody else."--Tracy Kidder, A TRUCK FULL OF MONEY
July 6, 2025
Summer Sentiment
“You should mix with people,” says my therapist. “You become normal by doing normal things.” --Romy Hausman, SLEEPLESS Okay, it is time to focus and recap a b it as I have a new journal book and I want to improve the picture of it all with more heartfelt, thought-provoking words. Summer is here.
I turned forty under the Caribbean sun, surrounded by warm air, whitewashed shutters, and the sea whispering a hundred years of salt and soul. We were staying at Villa Mawar in Jamaica, and I let myself do something I hadn’t done in a while—I let myself glow.
Alan handed me a card on the morning of my birthday. It read:
"On the days that are summer-sweet and full of a thousand dreams, I will love you."
It was one of those cards where the message and the moment converge so perfectly that it almost feels like the world has slowed down just for you. I smiled. I believed him. I still do. He made me glow. And he still does. It was the year 1999, and my life, like everyone else's, felt on the brink of something. Not just a new decade, not just Y2K panic, but something more personal—something interior. Turning forty does that to you. It has a way of showing you the mirror without asking your permission.
And the cards came flooding in. Grace Reyes sent one with a note that made me chuckle and melt in the same breath:
“After the initial shock—you’ll love being 40. (Trust me!) Happy 40th! I couldn’t let your special day go by without recognition. And wow—what a way to celebrate—Jamaica! I’m certain it’ll be unforgettable. May your birthday-vacation bliss last all year long. Because like you, on my next birthday, I’ll still be in denial about turning 31. Yikes!”
Love always, Grace
P.S. I wasn’t sure if you liked traditional black, or cool-max blue. I decided: simply cool.
Barbara’s card was short but classic:
“Happiest #40 BD. Guess this will help you travel to Y2K. XO —Barbara.”
And Carrie Freiman wrote:
“Happy Fortieth Birthday, Michael. You're a great guy—caring, compassionate, generous. You're someone I admire and enjoy. And someone I’m proud to call a friend. All the best today and always. With love—Carrie.”
These weren’t just words on cardstock. They were pieces of my life reflected to me through people who mattered.
Then there was my niece, Ashley—sharp-tongued, hyper-aware, and as Gen Y as they come. I saved our online exchange because, well, it said more about our relationship than a hundred hugs ever could.
JULY 1, 1999 – Online Dialogue with Ashley (age 15)
ANFMike: Is Grandma cooking dinner?
NSync4AshA: Um, I don't know. If you call Top Ramen dinner.
ANFMike: You're too funny. Should I get my mom a cookbook for her birthday?
NSync4AshA: Yeah, right—like she’d cook though, except for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and when the almighty Uncle Mike is here.
ANFMike: Well… she only cooked for me because I encouraged her. She seemed more relaxed when we went shopping. I bought salad stuff. And I sent her that BBQ sauce from Jamaica. She always says she hates to cook, but I think she enjoyed it when I was helping. Why don’t you surprise her and create something new?
NSync4AshA: Oh yes, that would be exciting now, wouldn’t it? With my passion for being a Jamaican chef and all...
ANFMike: I bet Top Ramen gets old. Try a new dish. What kind of chef would you want to be? French, Italian, Chinese, Indian...?
NSync4AshA: If it was a contest, dear Uncle... I don’t want to be a chef of any kind. I don’t mind that we have Top Ramen though.
ANFMike: Oh… another website for you. If you want a summer job for teens, go to: www.nationjob.com. They always have listings.
NSync4AshA: I’ll put it in my faves for next year.
ANFMike: Is Grandma watching her Spanish stories? Or watering the grass?
NSync4AshA: No, she was watching TV—I don’t know what show though.
ANFMike: You think you’ll go to Reno with Lauren and Leigh?
NSync4AshA: I can’t ski either.
ANFMike: Join the club—it’s all about balance. Can you skate?
NSync4AshA: Um yeah.
ANFMike: If you can skate, I’m sure you can ski. You probably just need to practice on the Dottie Hills (aka Bunny Hills).
NSync4AshA: hehe
ANFMike: OK... my love. I’m signing off now, but I enjoyed this. I’ll get on AOL more often and maybe I’ll run into you again, kay?
NSync4AshA: Kay. Bye Uncle Mike!
ANFMike: Stay NSync.
Sync4AshA: LOL. Dork. U too.
I wrote beneath the printout of that conversation:
“Clearly a statement that shows she’s jealous of me and my relationship with my mom. She’s young. She’ll get over it… won’t she?”
Back in Los Angeles before the trip, I got my new California driver’s license. The DMV labeled me a “good driver,” which felt oddly satisfying for a man entering midlife.
When I glanced at my old photo, I laughed. I was more tan than usual, and I had what I now call, with some fondness, the most sculpted shape I’ve ever had.
Alan and I had spent the previous days sipping coffee and thinking of birthdays past, laughing about foam—yes, foam. I wrote in my journal, “I still like Peet’s Coffee best—they do much better FOAM!” Sometimes, it’s the little luxuries that feel most revealing.
I also splurged on a moody chamber orchestra CD called The Eternal – Variations on Joy Division. The music was haunting, elegant, and theatrical—a perfect backdrop for turning 40. I wrote in my journal that it “reminded me of a new Dark Shadows theme.” A bit gothic, a bit beautiful.
We drank coconut water and talked about our investments. I scribbled in a line: “Time to review my Schwab accounts to see my liquid net worth: — OK, I’ll manage.” Alan rolled his eyes when I read the figure aloud.
There was a part of me that laughed nervously at that line. Because turning forty was, in truth, terrifying. Not for the age itself, but for what it represented—choices, paths taken and not taken, and the haunting question: Am I where I’m meant to be?
The answer, at least in Jamaica, felt closer to yes than ever before.
And as we looked out toward the edge of the bay on that final night, Alan turned to me and said, “You know what the best part of turning 40 is?”
I didn’t answer.He grinned.
“You’re still here. And you still love.”
Los Angeles in July. The sun shimmered off pavement like celluloid burning too hot through a projector reel, and I was walking toward the Director’s Guild Theater for another day of Outfest. It wasn’t just a film festival—it was a proving ground. A spotlight on stories that had, for too long, waited in silence. It was a festival filled with gay-related storylines.
I had already circled half the screenings in my program weeks in advance. I remember writing: “All four French gay films are playing tomorrow night. I’ll see how I feel. If I’m burnt out, I’ll just see Garçon Stupide. Maybe Suddenly too. And then there’s that short film about that little gay Mexican boy with the abusive mom… I must see that one.”
What began as a simple curiosity turned into something much more. That summer, I wasn't just watching films. I was witnessing myself on screen. For the first time.
The cinema that year was rich with queer coming-of-age tales, foreign gems, and gritty truths that didn’t bother to apologize for their gaze. There was Show Me Love, which hit me harder than I expected—a Swedish film that said more in silences and sideways glances than most Hollywood dramas did in full monologues.
I wrote in my notebook:
“The blonde girl—gorgeous in her discomfort—reminds me of that girl in my high school geometry class. She always stood outside of herself. Like she didn’t belong to her own body yet.”
Then came Run Lola Run—not a queer film per se, but an adrenaline shot to the brain. I saw it three times in the same week, just to absorb its pulse. That red hair flying through Berlin streets, defying fate, made me believe we might all rewrite our endings—if only we could sprint fast enough.
The crowd at Outfest had its own rhythm. Older men in crisp linen shirts next to girls with pierced lips and glittered cheeks. Couples who had weathered decades and fresh-faced young guys still learning how to flirt. I loved observing them all—their discomfort, their style, their quiet need to be seen. On one ticket stub, I scribbled:
“There’s this boy—probably no more than twenty—dressed in Calvin Klein everything. I watched his fingers twitch during the final scene of The Edge of Seventeen. That moment when the lead character kisses his crush and doesn’t apologize… I swear I saw this kid bite his bottom lip like he’d just been kissed too.”
That’s what Outfest was: a mirror for those who never had one.
After a day of films, I’d often find myself at Peet’s Coffee in Westwood, people-watching and scribbling thoughts that would never make it into any screenplay: “We are all actors auditioning for a role we’ve already been cast in. The trick is to forget you’re acting at all.”
At Borders Books, I flipped through pages of Truman Capote’s letters and found one I copied down:
“Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.”
That line stayed with me. It explained so much about what I was feeling at 40, watching these films that reminded me I hadn’t missed the boat—I was still on the dock, barefoot, waiting.
One night stands out. I had just seen a short film called Don’t Tell Anyone about a closeted father trying to connect with his son. It wrecked me. Not because it was masterful—but because it was real.
After the screening, a man sitting two rows ahead turned back and looked directly at me. No smile. No nod. Just a recognition. That strange acknowledgment between strangers who’ve both been cracked open by the same story. I never saw him again. But I remembered him.
Later that week, I found an old Calvin Klein cologne ad tucked into a magazine at the screening lounge. It featured a brooding, shirtless model, his arms draped around another man’s neck—but both gazing off in different directions. I tore the page out and wrote:
"If longing had a scent, it would be this.”
That was the other thing Outfest gave me—permission to desire. Fully, foolishly, beautifully. No excuses.
By the end of the festival, I had watched 23 films. My notebook was filled with notes like:
"Art is not meant to comfort. It is meant to wake you up"
“Why do the French get coming-of-age so right?”
“I want to kiss someone in the middle of a theater and not flinch when the lights come on.”
I didn’t kiss anyone that week---well, maybe Alan got a peck on the cheek. But I did come to terms with the idea that my life—like these films—was still unfolding. Still evolving.
The best stories weren’t the loud ones. They were the quiet, lived-in moments of becoming. Of risking. Of sitting in a darkened room with strangers and seeing, finally, the truth of who you are reflected at you.
They never tell you that love, when it’s real, often arrives in fragments—not in sweeping declarations or cinematic crescendos, but in glances across a room, casual errands, and half-written postcards never mailed.
With Alan, it began quietly. And somehow, that quiet became the most reliable sound in my life. I remember clearly the exact moment we met. But I remember the feeling afterward—that strange, subtle shift in my internal weather. Like something had been recalibrated. Not everything made sense, but everything suddenly felt possible. I kept remembering his answer to my question, “Is there a future in a man-to-man relationship?” One of the notes he gave me read:
“Michael— When I think of you, I smile. You’ve made a strong and positive impact on me. I’m learning more about you and want to keep discovering. You’re warm, intelligent, complicated, and funny. You carry stories in your eyes. —A”
That note stayed tucked in my desk drawer for months. I’d re-read it whenever I doubted whether I was still lovable, still captivating, still… enough.
Alan had a way of being present without being overwhelming. He didn't flood the space. He filled it like morning light. Gently, slowly, insistently.
We started collecting moments—on drives down Pacific Coast Highway, in quiet bookstores, in cafes where we never finished our coffee. He loved antique postcards and would often pick them up at flea markets, not for the artwork, but for the faded messages on the back.
“Imagine writing to someone you miss that way,” he once said, flipping over a 1910 card with the line: 'The weather is kind. Are you eating enough?’
It broke my heart in the most exquisite way.
So, we started our own tradition—leaving each other postcards around the house. It was just ‘us’, having fun.
There was one day—early in our relationship—when I felt distant. Unsure. That creeping self-doubt that tells you you’re too much or not enough. I had avoided him all day.
That evening, I found a folded note under my pillow:
“I don’t need you to be perfect. I need you to be you. That’s why I’m here.”
That was all it said. And it was everything I needed.
“Love is not blind. It sees more, not less—but because it sees more, it is willing to see less.”
We fought, of course. Once, over something stupid about the thermostat and again about whether love notes should be written in pen or pencil. But we always came back—usually with laughter. Or a peach tart. Or silence that said, I’m still here.
Sometimes he’d say something that sounded like, “I don't want grand gestures. I want real ones.” So, I’d fold his laundry just the way he liked. He’d wash or press my shirts before meetings (by way of the Dry Cleaners, of course).
One weekend, we went away to a quiet spot in Carmel. He packed a few old postcards and handed me one each morning.
The first read:
“Dear M, I like waking up beside you, even when you snore.”
The next:
“Some moments don’t need photographs. This is one of them.”
And the last:
“You’re not just a chapter in my life."
Love stories don’t need perfect timelines. Ours is told in fragments, layered between ticket stubs, coffee spoons, and words never spoken aloud. What matters is that we live it. Fully. Honestly. Beautifully.
Even now, if I hear a certain song, or catch a scent that reminds me of his cologne, I smile. I like it when he splashes a bit of cologne.
Sometimes love doesn’t need to explain itself.
In every family, there are conversations that happen with words… and others that only unfold through glances, letters, or what’s left unsaid. Ours was a family of both—of laughter and layered tension, of traditions passed down and secrets passed over.
My niece Ashley and I once had an online chat that summed up generations in contrast. She was bright, quick, both sweet and slightly cutting, like a Gen Z Dorothy Parker. I had typed something impulsively, a response to her light teasing about turning forty. And she zinged back: Ashley: “Whoa. You typed in all caps. I feel like I just got yelled at by the almighty Uncle Mike.”
I laughed. She had a point.
Me: “I just typed fast. I didn’t even realize it.”
Ashley: “That was scary. I could feel it vibrating.”
Me: “Sorry… I never knew all caps had high impact. Now I know.”
She responded with a heart emoji and something about needing to make sure I got a hug next time we saw each other. It’s funny. In a moment where I felt misunderstood, she made me feel seen. Not through advice—but presence. That's family too.
There were others—birthday cards from Barbara, Jan, Grace—tucked in a drawer from my fortieth. I reread them more than once in Jamaica.
Barbara had written:
“You’ve grown into a man we all admire—strong, kind, hilarious, resilient. Keep aging in reverse.”
I somehow created my own Summer Sentiment from movies, conversation, writing and emails, cafes and walking near the shoreline. I started listening to films more intently for specific lines that I loved and would write them down. I even did it inside dark movie theaters, writing on a small tablet so that I could remember the lines that struck a chord for me.
Hollywood wasn’t just a location in my life. It was a mood. At times, even a menace. In my twenties, I thought Hollywood was a destination. But by my forties, I realized it had become a backdrop—like a familiar prop in a play where the script kept changing, but the stage remained the same.
Hollywood was never just about fame or film for me. It was about feeling—intensity, longing, reinvention. And bookstores? They were my refuge. Oh, and people watching at a cafe, writing a letter gets a high score, too. July 12, 1999: This is where I leave these words—in my journal, for anyone who still believes in memory and the unexpected beauty of old bookstores and new beginnings.
Because somewhere, someone will read this and whisper,
“Me too.”
And that is enough.
“You keep searching, I suppose. That’s all LIFE is anyway. It’s one great SEARCH for whatever it is we want--Love, Money, Fame, Recognition, Security—all of those things. It’s the degree of importance which varies in each individual.” --Eric Van Lustbader, THE NINJA, 1980
June 29, 2025
Two Regular Guys Who Actually Kissed
...to be in a state of pure consciousness—satori—is to be with God before he said, “Let there be light”. I thought it might be a good thing to hold back this light from you—till you were able at least to conceive a state of being where the mind knows the source of all light.--J.D. Salinger, in his book, FRANNY AND ZOOEY
I received a letter from my cousin Edna Garcia-Maestas who lives in Santa Fe, NM. She wrote it the day after Jack & Gloria’s 25th Wedding Anniversary (June 27, 1999).
Michael,
Mon. June 28, 1999
Like other times... I wrote you and didn't mail it. As we write, you will learn more about me. I think about you often, but I don't write often! It's not that I don't have much to say, I just don't have time to say it.
Rickie’s been out of school for about a month and has taken swimming lessons every day. I was a craft leader for Vacation Bible School—ages 7, 8, and 9 this year. I stayed busy preparing and conducting the crafts instruction.
Rickie goes to Tae Kwon Do 2X a week. We have 2 rabbits, 2 dogs, and one tadpole. We planted a veggie garden and miscellaneous flower plants.
Rickie is in a reading club at the library, and he goes there every week. We painted his room. We went to the Santa Fe Rodeo. I try to get 2 aerobic classes a week for myself and whew, I avoid some of it! Ha Ha. My Aunt Rosabel (my dad’s sister) broke her hip, so I try to stay in touch with her. My neighbor and I try to visit and have coffee or tea and share something we've baked.
I have a friend (my ex-boss's wife) who comes over, and we try to fit in something into our busy schedules.
Then I'm the church secretary, and I have to keep up with meetings, minutes, etc.
I'm still mediating (parent/teen) with the N.M. Center for Dispute Resolution and trade services with Tae Kwon Do for Rickie's tuition.
My grandma’s here in "La Residencia," so I make time for her once a week.
Let me tell you, when I fall asleep at night, I consider it a true blessing.
We want to go to our cabin this 4th of July. I hope so… life slows down in the country.
Michael, we will be in San Francisco at the San Francisco Marriott, July 7th - July 11th. Actually, we leave July 11th. I'm excited, having never been to San Francisco and hearing so much about it. We're in the process of scheduling a couple of tours.
My dad is doing fine, and so is everyone else.
My mom’s only brother (my uncle) died about a month ago, and so did my husband’s niece (1 ½ years old).
That’s always sad for us because we can relate so well to their pain and loss.
Michael, I really want to send this letter out, so I'm ending it so I don’t leave it half-finished.
God Bless You and thanks for being such a great cuz. I miss seeing your smile.
Edna
I was still in Alameda and mom, and I went to lunch with Lauren and Leigh to DELMONICO’s on Monday afternoon, June 28, 1999. The girls are so sweet and smart, too.
Mom made me a jerk chicken dinner with her sweet rice for dessert. I had to fly back to Los Angeles on Tuesday morning, June 29th. I started writing more into my scrapbook/journal diary on June 30:
8:45 AM, 6-30-99
Jack & Gloria gave me this cute note on Father's Day. It stressed my impact on the lives of Lauren & Carrie Freiman. I thought it was a sweet thing for them to do, as they always do sweet things.
This postcard I picked up at the Sunset Laemmle Theater in West Hollywood when Alan & I & John Tuzziano went to see The Ideal Husband.
The guy in the center of the card looked so familiar to me & only now do I recognize that he was in the film The White Squall. He’s the one who shot the innocent dolphin & had the poor relationship with his father.
Café La Bohème revisited.
Alan & I met our Golden Door pal, Dan Cuevas, here for dinner. It was quite cute that we all ordered filet mignon. Alan & Dan shared a link in that they both have business partners that they both cannot stand. Alan only has Wilshire Plaza as the link to his partner, Art, now. I think he really can't wait until it's over.
Dan Cuevas owned a few furniture stores & is an interior designer. He’s going to look at our condo at 66 Leonard #10A in Tribeca, NYC & give us some design ideas! He’s really a nice fellow... a bit on the “OBV” side— “OBV” means he’s so obviously gay.
6/30/99 - 9:45 PM
Well, this photo is of 3 of my nieces & my only nephew. They’re here in the backyard of their home at 328 Magnolia Drive.
(From left to right) Ashley Armijo is the eldest. From my most recent visits, she’s the most spoiled by my mother! My mom referred to Ashley as her companion. She’s into music—CDs + NSYNC (the band) these days. She’s also into her SVH (Sweet Valley High) books.
I got a distinct feeling that she was very jealous of my presence there at mom’s. Ashley didn’t even really talk to me or look me in the eyes all that night. I was disappointed. She’s also the most “in need” of exercise!
Holly is a true sport. I really felt a sense of comradery with her. She’s so athletic & worthy & has a great personality. She only needs better polishing in her reading skills & cultural event experiences. She enjoyed the SF Museum of Modern Art once it was all over. I do think she got something out of it.
Ally reminded me of a mini-Ashley in many ways. She holds a sort of partly uncalled-for attitude.
Dylan is still young, but he needs a lesson in manners too. Still, I love 'em all very much.
6/30/99 - 10 PM
So, who’s this? Nurse Ratched from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest?
John Tuzziano sent me this postcard & of course, I chuckled at first glance. I should call my mom. When I visited home this last weekend, her kitchen sink faucet had a recurring drip that wouldn’t stop. So, we went to Home Depot to buy a replacement faucet.
Alan bet my mom $16.00 that I couldn’t put it on! I admit that I didn’t even try. I probably could have done it, but mom said, “Tony was going to be there tomorrow or so anyway.” So, I was hoping he'd just put it together. I guess if it doesn’t work out with my brother Tony, the so-called PLUMBER will be the next to fix it.
My mom is so cute sometimes—I miss her! I’m glad I expand my horizons & get her to come to L.A. now & again.
I was surprised to receive this mini-email printout from Chad Mark Glen who I knew from my gym (we had a short-term relationship). He was difficult.
From: Chad Mark Glen
Subject: [Fwd: Suntan]
Date: Wed, 23 Jun 1999 12:33:00 -0700
"Here is what the Los Angeles men look like from watching episodes of Baywatch being taped."
Funny...the caricature looks a little like Chad. Ha-ha.
Oh well—I never watch Baywatch, so this certainly does not apply to me.
NOW IT'S YOUR TURN to feel stronger, healthier, and more energetic than ever!
How’s this for inspiration to do my abdominal exercises? I get a kick out of these before & after shots. When I went to my mom’s, I did my ab exercises that I learned at The Golden Door. The key is to never give up & to realize that great bodies don’t just happen. You have to work for them. In fact, you have to work very, very, very hard for a hard body!
I took my nieces Ashley, Lauren, Leigh & Holly to San Francisco to the new 4-level Metreon Center.
We saw BIG DADDY (the new Adam Sandler film). It was cute & funny.
There was a gay male couple that looked like two regular guys who actually kissed on screen. They really put the scene with the picture in a very sympathetic way. That was nice.
I’m sure my nieces know that I’m gay even though it’s not a subject that we regularly talk about. I’m lucky that they all love me, nonetheless.
And I enjoy doing things with them like movies, etc.
I even took Ashley, Holly, Lauren & Leigh to the SF MOMA.
I think they got something out of it—in the end. I know I did.
PASSAGE & He Weeps for You were two of the memorable exhibits we saw at the SF MOMA on 6/27/99.
Upon my return to Los Angeles from my weekend getaway to Alameda—
I come home to this nice letter from another one of our Golden Door friends, Alberto Andrade.
He’s really a nice, chubby guy. He’s 48 or so & I guess he’s going to the Golden Door again next year.
I think Alan & I will do it again as it does remind us to STOP & THINK & really rejuvenate + cleanse!
I really want to go to The Metreon Center in S.F. again. I didn’t explore it enough & I didn’t even get to take my mom there.
There’s a cool interactive Microsoft exhibit that I really want to explore.
Well, there’s just more to do & that’s all Alan & I ever do—attend & explore.
I have a Bar Mitzvah (CHAD HIRSCH) to attend in January 2000 in Lafayette, CA—so I’ll be there then. Chad is Alan’s nephew by marriage from his first wife.
And I’m going to Alameda again for Aug 21st for the NSYNC concert with Ashley & Holly.
That ought to be a very interesting Generation Y experience.
6/27/99
Hi Michael,
I loved the last post card, delicious. Yes, I would love to accompany you to see a film at the Gay/Lesbian Film Festival. I can’t wait to go hiking. My tan is coming along. Let me know if you and Alan are having a summer Bin Arizona Tuesday through Fraiday and then on a train trip. P.S. My family is having a July 4th celebration at thier beach house in San Clemente. Would you rather go there?
John Tuzziano
6-30-99
Oh geez—looks like John Tuzziano is here to stay.
He’s like one of those flies...or moths that you can’t wait to get rid of but can’t. All you can do is keep the door & window open & hope he’ll fly away on his own. Ha-Ha. Actually, he’s not that bad but two calls a week & one card/letter a week is too much. He just really needs his own boyfriend. He even wants to go hiking with Alan & me. We haven’t invited him yet, but we’re considering it. I already called him today to tell him we’re not having a 4th of July party & flaked out on the Saturday (4th of July) party in San Clemente.
He says he’s talking the train there –as if that would entice us. Alas, he means well. I try to be as polite as I can with him.
Alan e-mailed this letter to me while I was home in Alameda. I felt a little sad when I read it. I e-mailed back that I agreed that we need more romance. I believe ALL relationships go through their peaks & valleys. I think we’re in a valley or a short downhill slope now, but I still want to find the romance. Our romance is not comparable, and it is unique.
From: alan freiman
Subject: a few thoughts on a Sunday
Date: Sun, 27 Jun 1999 18:43:38 PDT
Dear Michael,
I spent today cleaning more and more (I filled one garbage can), throwing out stuff from the 1980’s found in the garage (u told me to).
I took Carrie to see the Daddy movie which we both really liked. Interesting enough, the two guys were "normal" lovers like you and me ha-ha—
I then continued cleaning and found some old letters that you had written me in the early 1990’s. I then started thinking about the past and how great our relationship is and was.
It’s been a rough time for me lately. After the East Coast total loss, I have been doing less and less with my life. I wanted to make it simple so I can start over again, I guess. With only one property left, there really isn’t much for me to do at Ten West. I’m also happy that you have been able to start your life over again and enjoy some of the advantages of working for yourself.
But where does that leave the two of us? Sometimes I feel like we are the best of friends and nothing more. In reading your letters, there was so much passion and romance. I miss it very much. I think that after the kids go to Susan next weekend, we should try to spend as much time alone as we can. I know we do go places together during the day, but we need to rediscover the romance and passion again.
I want to, do you?
I wrote ten years ago about a male relationship having the ability for the long term—I told you yes, it did have that chance. We have made it to this point, but I won’t be satisfied with it like other long-term relationships that people have. I want more. I want you all the way and the passion that we are capable of. I believe that we have many more years of great relationship, but we have to work at it. It has to be more than Verona, or the market or being with others. It has to be just you and me. Like the double feature last week. I need you. I hope you can respond.
Please let me know how you feel with words and true feelings. I need to make real love. I am HOH over you and it hasn’t stopped.
Well, that’s the serious talk for now.
love you, alan
Alan & I did a great job today at the Verona office sending out our quarterly progress reports & letters to our 80 clients. We have close to 8 million under mgmt. so that’s an average of 1 million per client... not too shabby!
Alan & I mutually deleted 4 of our Verona companies (Phillip Morris, Texmark, Daimler-Chrysler, Media One) & added 4 new companies = McDonald's, Tiffany’s, Knight Ridder, & Viacom. We were so happy that today June 30th was a GREAT market day. Which really boosted everyone’s portfolios. A few of them I still need marked improvement—but when it comes to investing, patience is vital. The worst thing to do is panic.
Together, Alan & I create a good balance, but sometimes Alan feels so pressured about “performance” from quarter to quarter! We should really look year to year & expertly analyze every 36 months (3 years)! I like the idea of being an owner of my companies. I am a true investor. I do feel guilty when I sell. Most of my sales I have been regrets—even when they are profits taken. Long-term investing is key.
My cousin, Linda LaToya Korenke, in Idaho Falls, Idaho, sent me this story about the painting of THE LAST SUPPER and Leonardo Da Vinci. I find it interesting because anyone can let their life go astray to the negative side.
We all share everyday problems & issues that can be dealt with—but it is not always easy.
Henceforth come the gray hairs, the lines on our face, the grimaces vs. smiles.
It’s important to stay positive & look at the sides of life that make us luckier than the unlucky.
I saw a license plate from IDAHO today in L.A. & thought of my cousin Linda.
She’s come a long way in accepting me as a cousin.
She’s taken the positive side.
7-1-99 At the Verona Office, 11 AM.
I have Monica Small coming in today at noon. She took me by surprise with the announcement of her wedding on August 7th in Pebble Beach.
Gee—the only thing she did not mention is if I'm invited. Oh well—I'm sure it will be fun seeing her today & getting the full story. Funny how her fiancé is named ALAN.
Here’s one of my favorite shots that I took of Monica taken on Sunset Blvd on Feb. 6, 1997.
I love the new ART on the window & the headline on her television magazine which reads: "IT’S NOT A BITCH TO SWITCH"
I guess that could mean a multiple of things.
I just got off the phone with Ashley, my niece, to inform her of WWW.GETGOOEY.COM, a sort of universal chat room via any website. We seem on good terms.
‘Oh yes, she was extraordinarily beautiful in his eyes; if he had passed her on a busy Manhattan street, he would surely have turned his head, even, perhaps, followed her into Bendel’s or Botticelli before he lost her in a swelling crowd; what else does one do with that kind of fantasy?’== Eric Van Lustbader, in his 1980 book, THE NINJA
June 22, 2025
DOUBLE-VISION
He was more interested in pursuing knowledge than in publishing it. He wanted to accumulate knowledge for its own sake, and for his own personal joy, rather than out of a desire to make a public name for himself as a scholar or to be part of the progress of history.
“Man is the image of the world .” -- Leonardo wrote
– as read in the book by Walter Isaacson, LEONARDO DA VINCI
June 23, 1999, 3:35PM
Today, I received a cool card from my cousin, Patrick Markus and his wife, Fae. Patrick’s mother, Cecelia died earlier this year. It’s nice to see him her finding happiness in his life. It looks like they bought a house in Arizona. I’m happy for them. In fact, I just went online in my Santa Monica, Verona office and spent $33.75 at felissimo.com for a Vine Embroidered Journal (moss color) with a gift message from me: “A Warm Wish for you in your new home.” Love, Michael Armijo
I found this very impressive Restaurant bill that I saved at this CHEZ MATHILDE Restaurant in Aruba (from when Alan and I were there on February 28th). I can't believe it was this year that we were there. Time often flies before your very eyes. Ironically, Cecelia (my cousin/Patrick’s mother) died on February 28, 1999. I find it coincidental because the French Restaurant was called CHEZ MATHILDE, our grandmother (me and Cecelia) was named Mathilde Garcia-Vigil-Armijo. Well, this was one superb and classy place. I’d love to revisit the restaurant someday. June 30, 1999, 8:40AM
I received this card from Dorothy Rua. We met in 1988 when we both worked in Walnut Creek in the Pacific Bell Directory SMART Resource Center, selling telephone directories. My job stint didn’t last long. I retreated to my previous job because the ‘lady boss’ was rude to me and simply did not like me. I felt like picking up some dog poop, putting it in a shoebox and sending it to her anonymously. I would never do that to anyone, of course—but she deserved it. She was this woman who worked at SPRINT in New York, got this job as the manager and it seemed she had it out for any man. I disliked her attitude for not allowing me to apply to other management positions—as I was able to in my previous job. In any case, I am glad I left that job. Dorothy, of course, had no choice at the time but to stay. She was the only great thing that came out of that brief stint of a job. We have remained friends through the years with many card/correspondence exchanges. She has always sent very nice cards. This was another one. She is the one who recommended that great boo, THE BRIDGES OF MADISON COUNTY, to me. It’s excellent. Dorothy had an unhappy marriage and finally divorced him. I think she may have had a secret crush on me in the beginning. Only three or four years ago did she come down to Los Angeles to meet Alan. I was quite clear about our relationship without saying it in blatant terms. To this day, Dorothy keeps in contact with me. Inside this card, Dorothy wrote as follows:
Dearest Michael,
Will you ever forgive me for not writing for so long? You have been wonderful, sending all those great cards these past few months. I have thoroughly enjoyed each one. They have certainly brightened my days. Though I’ve been bad about writing, I hope you know I love you and I miss you.
Ever since I accepted this new job at HARBINGER CORPORATION in September 1998 it has filled my life with work, work, work, including evenings and weekends. I won’t bore you with the details, but I’ll be working on my resume soon. I barely had time to get my taxed done with my long work schedule. Thank goodness they were not difficult, and I got them mailed on April 15th.
I have a bit of news. Nicole, my daughter, has moved in with me for her last year of college. Long story I will have to save for a shared bottle of wine with you. Anyway, since I’m in a one-bedroom apartment (which I love) I will probably need to look for a two-bedroom place. Don’t want to put more money into rent, so I may try to purchase something. Problem I’m running into is values have increased so much. I can now afford only a “white trash” neighborhood. I may investigate a possible partnership with an investor. My friend, David, may have a contact I may want to talk to. Big decision, this one...I’ll keep you updated.
So, want to know if it’s great SEX every night, huh? Wish I had the time. Surprised I can still spell the word! I am still seeing Jim and enjoying him whenever possible. You know how I love good conversation. Ha-ha!
Rose and I would love to head to Marina Del Rey this summer but can’t swing the money, so we are planning a weekend in Monterey/Carmel on July 10th and 11th. You and Alan want to mee us there? We’d love it.
Always Thinking of You,
With Love,
Dorothy
------- Autumn 1998, Europe escape re-visited, LA POSTA VECCHIA HOTEL, Italy
In Alan’s words:
10/6/1998, 9AM
It seems like we are part of a movie set, maybe JAGGED EDGE. Loud sounds of thunder and lightning strikes, waves hitting the rocks all night. Are we in Italy? Is this the Mendocino Coast in California? Well, we are here and it’s a spectacular mansion on the Mediterranean. The music is right, the service is right, and the dinner was perfect. It’s raining. Time for a rest.
This place is an example of a perfect Bed & Breakfast. It has all the bells and whistles including the twins from last night and the meeting of the Board of Directors of a Swiss Bank, and as Gloria would say, “What A Bunch!”
Same morning...my version:
10/6/1998, 9:05AM:
Oh yeah, I forgot about the twins from last night. Two grown men in their late thirties (probably) who were in-charge of the restaurant. It was extraordinary to see two handsome Italian men who looked identical! It was like seeing DOUBLE-VISON. I really thought I was seeing double because it was so unusual to see twin men, working together. Breakfast in continental flavor lacked the flare from the Amstel Intercontinental in Amsterdam we had become accustomed to.
It’s pouring rain outside as I glance outside the terrace of our balcony. Shades of lightning even appear while Beethoven style instrumental music softly plays.
Alan continues writing, later that night...
As the JAGGED EDGE sounds keep occurring, we are headed into Rome for Michael’s first look at the Roman Empire...
10/6/1999, 10PM
As lightning and thunder persists and Michael is sleeping (I hope). What a day! If Michael would have told me this morning that he was getting sick, we could have stayed at LA POSTA VECCHIA HOTEL all day. But he didn’t tell me until 3PM.
We left at 10AM in the pouring rain after Michael attempted to get online with Charles Schwab and Hotmail; yet could not get connected. We should have stayed and tried all day. We drove on SS1 (Aurelia) to ROME. It took about 2 ½ to 3 hours just to park the car. After traveling for 90-minuites we entered Vatican City, it took another hour to get to Via Veneto and park the car. Traffic accidents and rain drenched the streets and highways with pouring rain, pelting down in huge buckets. We finally found Via Veneto and parked.
I must admit both of us were trying not to fight and stay calm. We got out of the car and had to eat lunch immediately. So, we found a tourist spot on Via Veneto and at Pizza and a bottle of Pinot Grigio. We got drunk—best part of the day except for getting back to the castle. Michael had eyes for the Matre D’ while I got annoyed—but I was drunk.
The next matter was to go to the post office to mail the 25 letters/postcards and the second batch including another one to Chris Armijo. I wonder why he has never sent a postcard to Michael. We liked the stamps and mailed the cards.
Michael must have felt lousy already because he was intent on taking pictures of everything as if I wasn’t there except for the pictures he took of me. We went to the Spanish Steps, the Trevi Fountain and The Pantheon. Michael also bought a sweater (cashmere, gold-colored) from Italy. He didn’t even ask me what I thought. Well, he was feeling sick!
We then stopped for a cookie that proved to be terrible. We found Piazza Navona, at dinner in the C&O of Rome because it was pouring rain. Then we took a taxi to Via Veneto and found the car. We drove back to the mansion in about 75 minutes—pretty good. We skipped El Centro and found The Vatican.
Michael is now sleeping. The stock market is up. Europe stocks were up 3 to 5%. I am thinking about tomorrow and it's supposed to rain again.
Should we go to Rome or stay here one more day or leave for Milan. We'll see how Michael feels in the morning. Today was the first so-so day of the trip but it can happen. At least we got back safely. The rain is pouring at 10:30PM with more lightning and thunder. Michael is snoring. I think I’ll relax, then go to sleep later.
“In those days...there was always something that was nice and always with music...” --Louis Armstrong, as read in the novel by James Stevenson, SOMETIMES BUT NOT ALWAYS
June 15, 2025
My Friend Forever; I Wanted a Real Girlfriend
“Playing music is more than cleverness.” --in the WUNDERKIND Chapter of THE BALLAD OF THE SAD CAFE by Carson McCullers Mary Anne D Parsons of 1339 N Columbus Avenue, Unit 123, Glendale, CA sent me a lovely Birthday Card. We met her at the LAWRY’s PRIME RIB Restaurant, and it became a forever-lasting friendship. I was surprised that Mary Anne remembered by birthday. I was sincerely touched. She is so motherly and caring. Since her husband, Bill, died she’s always seemed so lonely. She keeps holding onto a fantasy crush on Brian, the General Manager at LAWRY’s PRIME RIB. Too bad Brian is married and has no desire for Mary Anne in an intimate sense. He simply has a charm for his frequent guests and Mary Anne is one of them. Alas, it gives her someone to fantasize over during those cold, lonely, hot vibrator nights. I guess we’ll be seeing her for dinner very soon. I think Gloira Weiner-Freiman-Cohen called her today to confirm the date. At least we’ll see her at a non-LAWRY's establishment this time.
Paloma also wrote me a wonderful letter for my 40th birthday. Paloma Sanchez-Guerra Alquier always remembers my birthday. I got this little card and letter from her. She included photos from the CANNES FILM FESTIVAL, but her package arrived all wet. L.A. had a rainy day when it was delivered. In any case, I managed to get the best of all she had to say. Paloma will be My Friend Forever. To think we met at a Halloween Night Club Party in San Francisco back in 1983. I was dressed as a baby, wearing a diaper and she was dressed as a cave girl. We looked VERY HOT, dancing together. Here is her letter: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHAEL,
We did not send you real candy. We thought at your age it’s better to forget about that! Just kidding, as we say in France: “QUI AIME BIEN, CHATIE BIEN” which means something like “WHO LOVES WELL, PUNISHES WELL”. It’s a strange feeling at the beginning to think you’re ‘40’ but then you get used to it fast. What I hate sometimes is to see other people who have got the same age but look way older than me (and old than you, of course). You can tell something is different when you see kids around you getting taller than you are. We wish you a great birthday. Here is a new CITE DE CARCASSONNE postcard which is about one hour from here. It’s a very pretty city. We took my mom there two weeks ago. I know you’ll like some of the songs on the tape I made for you. I’ve tried to find songs you don’t know. That’s why most of them are French. Some of them were big hist lately (not on Side A), and maybe you have heard about “BELLE” since it belongs to a musical comedy called Notre Dame de Paris. It won at the World Music Awards in Monaco. Do you get to see the World Music Awards in the USA? They say they're going to translate all the songs, so they play in the USA. They are in Canada right now, that was the big success story here this year. No. 6 on Side B, OPHELIE WINTER is a huge star over here. She’s made a few movies. She is very pretty and has a great personality. She’s trying to work in the USA, too. I guess that’s why this song (SHAME ON U) is in English also.
Then you’ve got the music from a few movies: DIDIER, a funny movie about a dog who becomes a man. PEDALE DOUCE about two gay women. I already told you about this one. I liked it a lot. Sorry about my mistakes but I’m at work and people keep coming to talk to me and I got mixed up with another movie about two gay women that I liked a lot also called GAZONE MAUDIT (French Twist in English). I think I read somewhere that CHER or DEMI MOORE may be interested in a remake of PEDALE DOUCE. In French, PEDALE refers to a bike and it’s also NOT very friendly term to refer to a homosexual. MICROCOSMOS is also a pretty interesting movie about insects. Maybe you’ve heard about it? And to finish the tape you’ve got a few old songs like the one from Mariah Carey. I like that one. Remember you sent me a video of Mylene Farmer? Yesterday, on TV they were talking about a great chef—in fact, they said the best-in-the-world who has many restaurants in New York, a French guy. I guess you’ve heard about it: “VONG” (Jean-Georges Vongrichten). If you can’t make it to the PRINCE DE GALLES Hotel don’t worry. We’ll go for you.
Photo: Laurent Alquier, the Chef
Did I tell you Alexandre’s brother, Laurent, is now a chef de village at CLUB MED? So, our hopes will be to go somewhere in the world on vacation which is getting closer to reality. He is in Israel right now (in ARVIZ). We are the ones who inspired him to go to work at CLUB MED after all. He’s just been to the one in Florida (SANDPIPER) and in the Bahamas (Paradise Island). What are your brothers doing? I’ve got to send this letter now if you want to get it on time for your birthday. Next time I’ll write you about the CANNES FILM FESTIVAL. Once again, have a great time for your birthday. Hello to Alan! Oh, and I’m fine (I think). Love, Paloma
Ashley printed out a computerized card for me. LOVELY!
Mom sent a cute note on a Pacific Bell post it: Mike,
Here is the auto insurance paper. I’m sending Tony and Helen’s birthday gift. It was in a box, but I took it out and I’m sending it to you along with the auto insurance papers. I called you yesterday, Sunday, but I guess you guys left early to go to THE GOLDEN DOOR. Well, I hope you have a good time. Talk to you when you come back. Love Your Mom.
My brother, Tony, his wife, Helen (and girls Lauren and Leigh) sent me this cute money lip from Tiffany along with a $25 Gift Certificate from NORDSTROM. On May 12th I sent Tony a 2lb. Box of See’s candies nuts and chews. It’s one of Tony’s favorite pastimes.
June 18, 1999
It’s almost been a week since Alan and I were being pampered at THE GOLDEN DOOR. We’re still talking about how wonderful it was. A hike every morning, great, healthy food. We looked healthier and transformed by the time we left.
Last night, Alan and I took Bill Dailey to dinner at IL FORNAIO in Beverly Hills. We told Bill all about our visit to THE GOLDEN DOOR.
Bill remarked, “Oh, I’ve heard of that place, but I’ve never been there. I have been to Rancho La Puerta resort in Mexico, and it used to be associated with THE GOLDEN DOOR.”
We confirmed that it still is associated with THE GOLDEN DOOR. Bill went on talking and certainly did not hide his Republican views. We remained silent. Bill can be unlikeable, aloof and rude without realizing it. He’s also so ‘very gay’ even though he went on to speak of his late wife who died of food poisoning while in Mexico in 1991. I never thought about it until now, but I wonder if he poisoned her in Mexico? No, he could not be that ruthless, could he? Would he have the notion to kill his investment advisors? That’s a scary thought. I met Bill when he opened an account at Charles Schwab & Co. He liked my demeanor, so he’s considering the idea of becoming a Verona client; however, he may be too high maintenance for us. He only has about $200,000 (that I know of) anyway. I’d rather focus on million-dollar clientele. If you have five clients with $200,000 you get five headaches. If you have one client with one million it’s only one headache. Ha-ha While at THE GOLDEN DOOR I was reminded by the sweet nutritionist lady that “we are what we eat”. Fruits and vegetables are a must. I certainly got enough during my week at THE GOLDEN DOOR. I just need to work on getting more food that is “picked from trees our from the earth” in my regular daily life.
Each day at THE GOLDEN DOOR I received a fan with breakfast along with my detailed daily schedule. I was so good about following my schedule until Wednesday when I missed the morning hike and passed on the noontime Water Volleyball. I got back on track on Thursday and took a break on Saturday morning. I didn’t care to play tennis.
June 18, 1999, 9:45AM
I have four tiny pricks from an actual porcupine named SPIKE that we saw from the San Diego Zoo. The porcupine was visiting THE GOLDEN DOOR. We learned that the porcupine likes to masturbate. The zoo attributes this to the fact that he has so much “time” on his hands. Our group laughed. I’m sure some of us could relate to that. I also kept a small vile THE GOLDEN DOOR gifted us that contained natural lavender oil. It helped my blisters from my feet after the first two days of hiking. Carli let a sweet note with the oil and bandages in my room.
Carli wrote: “Michael, Hope your boo boos feel better!! Carli.”
I kept my name tag that THE GOLDEN DOOR gave me. C2 was my room number, and the blue dot signified my health problems (which were none) and my willingness to focus on physical challenges. The little black dot meant that it was your first visit to THE GOLDEN DOOR (this was true for both Alan and me).
Yuichi Sugiyama was the elder, Thai bald guy who taught us how to dance to Broadway tunes. He was very effeminate and gay but so fun to have as an instructor. He made the handful of us laugh while in dance class.
Gloria sent me this JERRY’s postcard (located at 101 Prince Street) from SOHO, NYC. We had eaten breakfast there, but it wasn’t as good as THE MERCER KITCHEN which was right up the block. I look forward to being in NYC, Tribeca—as a New York resident and a California resident.
This was my INCH MONITOR at THE GOLDEN DOOR when I was measured on June 7th, the first day we arrived. I had never measured myself at the end of the week, but I felt far superior. Paul, my Fitness trainer, who was bout twenty-four years old measured my body fat at about 16% which was supposedly good. My goal was 15.6% by the end of the week. Paul wrote a nice note on the above left of my INCH MONITOR. He probably just hoped for a cash tip. He wasn’t the most personable. I loosened him up a couple of times by getting him to laugh. He did give me a nice program to take home. I just NOW did the abdominal exercises. Now, if I do them EVEYR DAY I just may have a visible six pack. While at THE GOLDEN DOOR I learned of the LABYRINTH. It is a very meditational round pattern that people walk through. Once the instructor described it as how ALL PEOPLE have a pattern throughout their entire lives in that Sometimes we STOP; Sometimes we RUSH; Sometimes we TURN AROUND and LOOK BACK. One guy, Robert F Marshall, a prominent Entertainment lawyer, rushed through it like he does through life. When I walked it, I savored the moments during my walk, but I did notice things differently and more creatively than most of the others. I suppose I have a different sort of flair than most.
June 19, 1999, 11:25PM
On Tuesday morning at THE GOLDEN DOOR, we did the Outdoor Challenge. It included kayaking, mountain biking, hiking and a vigorous varietal circuit of abdominal work, climbing, jump roping and running! It sounded more vigorous than it was. I did it all. In any case, I was the GI JOE OUTDOOR CHALLENGE AWARD. That was cool. I was, however, at forty, the youngest of the men. There were a few around 44 or so but it was nice to get the GI JOE Award. If anything, it was inspirational for me as an aspiring, want-to-be athlete. Go! Michael! Go! Who was there? This is the list of guys that were at THE GOLDEN DOOR the week Alan and I were there. WE later learned from a June 1999 New York magazine that Jeff Ayeroff came under an assumed name! He is really Danny Lee Yarbrough Jr. Like we’d care knowing his real name and that he is the CEO of Sony Music Distribution Division?
At my initial interview upon arrival to THE GOLDEN DOOR I requested my meals be limited to 1100 calories per day. I was pretty good at sticking to it and not feeling super hungry after all the exercise. The other guys made me hungrier with all their talk about restaurants and what not. The menus will forever be inspiration to me, knowing that food is a necessary nourishment throughout one’s day, but it need NOT be in huge portions or bad foods. On the last night at THE GOLDEN DOOR Alan, myself, Alberto Andrade, Ron de Salvo and Dan Cuevas escaped to the outside world. We went to see INSTINCT, a 1999 film starring Anthony Hopkins, Donald Sutherland, and Cuba Gooding Jr. About a noted anthropologist who left society to live in the jungle and is imprisoned for murder. It’s up to a young psychiatrist to get through to him. It was a decent psychological thriller. There were long lines to see the AUSTIN POWERS movie. The people of the San Marcos area looked like typical mid-westerners.
One evening, Deborah Szekely (owner of THE GOLDEN DOOR) joined us for dinner. She’s a 77-year-old who founded the place with her husband. Now the place in Escondido is owned by the Wyndham Resorts & Hotels but who knows if it will change hands again.
She surprised me when she looked at me and asked, “So, what do you do?”
I had no problem answering that question, but I take offense to someone asking that question as ‘the first question’ when they don’t know you at all. It came out of left field. Like, does it matter? Well, I told her I was an Investment Advisor. She spent most of her mealtime gabbing with Ted Pedas of Washington D.C., a repeat visitor. She lectured us all later to donate our money to charities.
Alan and I left THE GOLDEN DOOR early, at 8AM on June 13th for our journey home to Los Angeles. That very evening we planned dinner with Jak and Gloria only to surprise them with an Anniversary dining experience for them. Richard (Alan’s brother) and his wife, Leslie, were there along with their sons (Larry and Michael), Susan and Jaan Torv and Lauren and Carrie. Jack and Gloria were totally surprised, and we had one elegant dining experience at THE PENISNSULA HOTEL in ‘The Belvedere’ private room thanks to our friend, Frank Bowling, who arranged it all. It was a beautiful setting and a beautiful memory.
I liked the Birthday card Reed Campbell sent me. He is now 80 or so. His eyes are going but his wife wrote the card on his behalf. They're too sweet to think of me. They currently live in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Inside the '40' card was imprinted: Forty...is when you really start appreciating all the bull. Ha-haMy cousin MaryAnn Gehling emailed me this story to me on May 23rd, three days before my Birthday. She wrote this story. She was the princess, and I was ‘the doe’. I believe she is not fulfilled with my relationship with her. She wants more—much more. She is still troubled from the death of her brother, Dave, in Vietnam and her successful fight with breast cancer.
On June 15th we saw this play (A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’s DREAM) but we had to walk out at intermission. Alan, Gloria and Jack and I all agreed that it was a “sleeper” and we could not endure another minute of it. Birda sent me the cutest Birthday card of a couple inside the trunk of a car. Inside was imprinted: WELCOME TO THE AGE WHERE JUST ABOUT ANYPLACE WORKS FOR A NAP. In her own personal words, she wrote this (which also made me laugh):
“Michael, Hope you have a great day. I found a bike that is older than both of us and it is still in good shape too! Happy Birthday, Always, Birda”
Birda Bingham and I met in Alameda when I was an avid bicyclist in the mid 1980s. She would race and/or cross my path on her bike. We still maintain regular correspondence. She still lives in Alameda and will soon become a grandmother! It pays to start early so you don’t have to be an old grandma. I loved this birthday card she sent me about being ‘40’ and naps. It’s too cute and I do enjoy my naptime. I do.
June 19, 1999, 12-Noon
I started a YAHOO CLUB on the internet for anyone named ARMIJO. I have ‘34’ members already. Here are some of the fellow Armijo distant relatives I’ve me. I knew Chirs Armijo. We met in person in San Francisco when Alan and I were there for a weekend. He joined the US ARMY this year and want to travel and focus on ethnic studies. Another ARMIJO who scanned his photo a couple of time is ARMANDO ARMIJO CASTRO. I don’t know much about him. 
June 20, 1999, 9:45AM
Today is Father’s Day. Lauren and Carrie made breakfast for Alan and I “in bed”. It was so thoughtful and out of the ordinary for me as I don’t like to eat in bed. Ha-ha. They have more in store for us today. I think we’re traveling to Newport Beach and Laguna Beach. Today is also my anniversary with Alan as we met on November 20th in 1989, and we try to remember to celebrate on the 20th of each month.
Yesterday, Alan and I accomplished a lot. We finally picked up the 1971 Red Mercedes 280SL. It’s ready. WE even got a nice car stereo for it at AL & ED’s. My BMW 328is was returned to Santa Monica BMW on Friday, June 18th. It was rather easy. Now I have no more BMW car payments and not car insurance as my lease has ended. It’s a nice load off my mind. I don’t need it. LESS...makes life simpler.
Yesterday, Alan and I treated ourselves to a double feather movie night: Disney’s TARZAN and Time Warner’s AUSTIN POWERS THE SPY WHO SHAGGED ME. We liked TARZAN much better. The night before we went to Marix-Tex Mex with John Tuzziano and saw a movie called THE IDEAL HUSBAND (based on a comedic play written by Oscar Wilde back in the late 1890s). It explores themes of political corruption, blackmail, honor and forgiveness. It starred Rupert Everett, Julianne Moore. It was superb. We realized (Alan and I) that we must go to London again for theater. It’s one city that we do love. THE IDEAL HUSBAND really is worth seeing. It takes you back to when people had to used messengers versus today’s impersonal email. It takes you to London with a humorous twist if one pays close attention to the English proper way with words. I loved it. Alan loved it. We must go to London again because of it.
Strangely enough, Alan’s real estate partner, Art K, remembered my birthday by getting me a card (of a dog?) and a bottle of VOYAGEUR cologne. Whatever. I see it as it’s the thought that counts. Art is giving his ‘femme fatale’ boyfriend, John, a birthday party on June 25th at some Westwood Restaurant. I’m glad I am going to my mom’s house that weekend. I guess Alan will go even though he’s not so thrilled about it. I rarely see Art and I only hear about him because of Alan’s involvement with him in his real estate holdings. From what I do hear, Art has had liposuction and dyed his hair red orange, trying to pretend he’s thirty when he looks fifty. Oh well, such is life for some folks.
Pat Crowley, a San Francisco schoolteacher that I used to visit to inspire her 4th and 5th graders to write has continued to maintain touch with me. She sent me this card from MAUI, Hawaii. Ironically, my brother, Tony, and my sis-in-law, Helen, were both in Maui at the same time Pat was there. Pat asked me twice how my Verona business is doing. I wonder if she’s toying with the idea of becoming a client. Maybe not—my friend Grace Reyes who I reconnected with at our 20th high school reunion was also in Hawaii and sent me this card. Are these hints for me to return to the Aloha State?
I’ve been there eight or nine times. We have a line-up of about ten Verona clients now. This week I signed-up Bill Willcox who has over $2 million in assets. That was a nice catch. He is truly a kind man. Alan and I are meeting him for lunch tomorrow on June 21st.
In My Own Words: BEING 40 YEARS OLD
Here’s a snapshot of Alan Freiman and I in JAMAICA, The West Indies. Alan sure organized a delightful 40th birthday party for me. Jack and Gloria, Susan and Jaan and Lauren were all there as previously written. I had a good time. I’m beginning to feel that ‘40’ is no big deal. Just a reminder to enjoy life and be healthy and happy. If you’ll notice this artsy collage, it depicts me. It was made for me by VIOLET LEVI. She was one of the first people I met after moving to Los Angeles in November 1989 (the same month I met Alan). She responded to a written ad I put in the local newspaper about meeting a girl. Yes, I wanted a ‘real girlfriend’. She was the only one who responded. In fact, she clipped my ad for the collage:
A GQ TYPE man seeks fit model type woman for relationship and future commitment. I like biking, film, travel and romancing. “Let’s at least meet for brunch!” I recall that Violet once told me, “Any guy who would write this I’ve got to meet.” And so, she did. We did. We went to brunch. When I look back at this collage, she made for me I do see me. It does remind me of me. I laugh when I look at it now and again though. A MAN AND HIS PASSION. Hmm...and THE BIKE, biked was a passion of mine. Sometimes I feel I lose certain passions, and they need to be re-ignited. I don’t feel this is uncommon for most people who need a jump start and motivation to move along in the right direction with their passions. I really should get on my bike more. I like the abdominal exercised I learned at THE GOLDEN DOOR. I’ll let those be my passion for now.
June 21, 1999, 5:45PM
I may not be an official “FATHER” but it’s not like there are NO KIDS and/or Generation Y in my life. I really have nine kids: Lauren, Carrie, Ashley, Holly, Ally, Dylan, Lauren and Leigh and another daughter from a 1985-Sperm Donation that I gave to the Bary Area Sperm Bank in Oakland California. It’s such a great feeling to get a Father’s Day card like this one. It really means a lot to me. It made me smile when I opened my mail. It never hursts to be reminded that you’re loved. I did have a great Father’s Day with Alan, Jack, Gloria and Lauren and Carried in Manhattan Beach for a picnic and a dinner in Laguna Beach. June 21, 1999, 6:10PM
Helen, my sister-in-law works so hard. She’s amid moving to Reno, NV and taking on a new Premise Sales job to sell Yellow Page Advertising. I’m sure I’ll be visiting them in Reno. Helen emails me a lot. She sent these two emails about a week before Mother’s Day. I was able to join them all for dinner on Mother’s Day. It was nice but it seems so “Eat & Run” with not enough conversation. June 21, 1999, 8:30PM
Lauren and Carrie Freiman gave me the most thoughtful and touching Father’s Day card (above) yesterday. I had to hold back the tears when I read it in front of them. It touched me so much. I know they love me as I do them. I always felt I had to be careful with every word I said to them over the years for fear of their hating me. Maybe I felt that way because I came into the picture when Alan was separated from his wife, Susan. Somehow, I just couldn’t help but feel like I was in the way. Well, time has shown that’s hardly the case. The girls surprised us with a great Father’s Day picnic in Manhattan Beach, then a drive to dinner at DIZZ’s in Laguna Beach, a place we really LOVE.
Alan and I went to the gym early this morning with Lauren and Carrie. Alan tried to get Carrie a new gym membership, but the gym has such rip-off rates that it’s hard to make a deal. I’m glad I only pay $70 per year.
At 1PM, Alan and I met our newest client for lunch at DANTE’s in Pacific Palisades. Bill Willcox is such a mild-mannered 73-year-old man who is so easy to deal with that Alan and I only dream of having twenty more “clone” clients like him. Alan said, “There are so many single, elderly people out there, sitting on two million or more...if only we could spot them all.”
We’re lucky to have Bill Willcox as a new client and he’s lucky to have us. We’ll certainly make good on his $2,278,000, putting every effort to increasing it. It was tough getting conversation out of Bill. He’s so lonely since his wife died. I sure hope he saw our open arms of friendship today. I really think he did. He really appreciated the token gift of the Italian Photo Album/Journal I gifted him.
After lunch, Alan and I did our hike at Temescal Canyon Park just off Sunset Boulevard. The only sad thing was Alan’s $60 parking ticket. At least MICROSOFT stock was up 4 points to $85. That helped.
Hey, look...two of my favorite nouveau late 1990’s actors: Matthew McConaughey and Ashley Judd. They’re both so great. Isn’t it clear as to why? Just take a good look.
And now, it’s time to play some piano music...
"I guess the best thing was finding out that I was good at something—at playing the piano. Playing piano gave me a place in the world. And...it was something I could do when I was angry or upset, or even happy. It was a way to express my feelings when I didn’t even know what they were.” --Christina Baker Kline, in her book ORPHAN TRAIN, a novel
June 8, 2025
RECIPE FOR FRIENDSHIP
‘I speak...mainly to the mass of men who are discontented, and idly complaining of the times, when they might improve them.’ Men say they know many things;
But lot! They have taken wings--
The arts and sciences,
And a thousand appliances;
The wind that blows
Is all that anybody knows. --Henry David Thoreau, WALDEN
Autumn 1998 continued, October 4, 1998
Alan and I chose postcards for one another. Both were B&W postcards and we both wrote notes to one another on this European trip while in The Netherlands:
Sunday, Oct 4, 1998, 12:30PM Michael,
I picked this card because sometimes when you’re not around I feel like standing in the corner in a very sexy position, thinking and waiting for you. I have this certain sense of loneliness when you’re not with me. This can also represent me waiting in an alley for you to come along. We can go have a drink, a smoke or just go to a restaurant and be together. You need to know that when you’re not with me I long to be with you.
I Love You Very Much,
Alan
Sunday, October 4, 1998
Alan,
We are currently in Amsterdam, Holland at a deli/cafe wine shop on a street called Warmoesstraat in the heart of the Red-Light district at approximately 12:30 in the afternoon. I’m sure this area is really an eye-opener at 3AM.
Anyway, I chose this card at DRAKES on Rokin for you because it reminded me of a rare event in our relationship—and a rare event in our lives: You and I, smoking something stronger than a cigarette. Ha-ha
It was so funny getting “HIGH” with you and having cappuccinos. You managed to sleep better than I last night. I felt like the guy in this photo. He has insomnia. He’s lighting up and he’s dwelling on the itinerary for the next day. He’s thinking about CAFE APRIL and walking about the streets and canals of Amsterdam. I could not experience any of this with anyone better than you. I Love You.
Michael Armijo
October 4, 1998, Monday, 6:15AM
In Room 116 at the Amstel Intercontinental Hotel in Amsterdam, listening to Jennifer Paige sing, CRUSH, as I sit here in white Calvin Klein undies and a white crewneck t-shirt with the imprint ‘Made in Holland’. I am seated on a comfortable lounge chair as Alan sleeps and snores. He must be tired. He just told me to write in the book five minutes ago. Now he is snoring.
Well, let’s see what happened yesterday, Sunday, October 4th? Oh yes, we had several strike outs. After my scrambled eggs, salmon and chives and Alan’s continental breakfast we took a walk to the Muziektheater in search of a flea market. It was rather cold and there was barely anyone walking about. Stike out #1: We realized after chatting with a black gentleman in an overcoat that the flea market is open on Saturdays. Oh well, on the next thing: The Canal Cruise.
We were simply too early, so we kept walking and discovered DRAKES. It’s an almost identical store as the one in West Hollywood. Alan and I bought each other cards. I got a ‘Made in Holland’ t-shirt of which I am now wearing as I write. Oka, we killed some time and quickly paced ourselves for the 10AM Canal Cruise. The young blond gal was impressively skilled, speaking English, French, Dutch and German. We took photos before the boat ride.
We learned that we had accomplished a lot in our walking and were already familiar with a lot of areas. It was an excellent overview canal cruise. I learned some new things about the historic buildings. We also learned that FREDDIE’S BAR at the Hotel Europa is named after the owner Freddie Heineken (as in the Heineken Beer). Gouda Cheese and other cheeses, Heineken and Amstel beer are key export items from this country. After the Canal Cruise we tried to go to the Intermediate Bookstore on Spuistraat but we hit a Strike #2: It was closed.
Ok, so we shot for the W139 Art Gallery. Once we located it there was NO gallery. It just seemed to be a vacant building. Strike #3. We kept walking and found a cute deli, wine store, cafe where we enjoyed a glass of white wine with a ham and gouda cheese sandwich served on warm French bread. Alan wrote to me on his postcard, and I wrote to him on the postcard I had bought while we were there.
We strutted about and on through the Red-Light district seeing those ladies at a window looking for their ‘next John’. It was terrible to see two very young, attractive girls living this life as a legalized prostitute. What a shameful and ‘hard life’ existence. The Red-Light district was a nice area with gorgeous canals. We lost ourselves through a few side streets not caring where we might end up.
Alan was intent on locating the Internet Center, so we went on a long trek until we found it. You guessed it. Hello! It’s Sunday. Strike #4. The damn internet center was closed. I was discouraged and became moody as Alan would say. I was looking forward to sitting and resting and maybe checking my Hotmail account.
All right...we got our bearings and went to REGULAR STREET as Alan now called it. Ha-ha. We hit The Other Side Coffee Shop again and had two cappuccinos and smoked our last two remaining Super Skunk joints. I felt “ugh”, but a tad re-awakened.
We checked out a shoe store and Alan realized the only place to shop was ITALY. We left that store and proceeded to CAFE APRIL and had another cappuccino. It was probably 2PM by then. We realized we should be at our beautiful unsurpassed Amstel Intercontinental Hotel. We returned and listened to a few CD’s we bought having discovered the music while watching Amsterdam MTV. I still believe a great memory of a place is the music you hear in addition to these words that I presently write and photos we choose to take. So far these were the single CD’s we bought:
BAILANDO by Loona
SOMEONE LOVES YOU HONEY by Lutricia McNeal
BOOTIE CALL by All Saints
STORM by Trance Spacer and Spacey Trancer
MILLENIUM by Robbie Williams
CRUSH by Jennifer Paige
NO MATTER WHAT by BoyZone
We couldn’t go on without our regular siesta. We slept longer or maybe we took the nap later. I don’t remember. Am I reacting to the joint? Anyway, the hotel recommended an Indonesian Restaurant at Rembrandt Square (or RembrandtPlein, as they call it). We walked there and the meal was good. Not great-great, but good. Ok, thanks to the Hotel we got another place to find access to the internet. Thanks to my improved knowledge of the streets (schtraats) and canals (grachts), we found the internet place. The best part about it was Alan’s good news in that YUM YUM DONUTS will most likely rescue East Coast Bagel Company’s saga to a final closure in Alan’s life. He may soon be able to enjoy a bagel as a satisfying dish versus a business complication and headache. We walked more, not caring where we’d end up and found a leather sort of bar. Anyway, it was dark. WE had our mineral waters as we watched people go in and out of the Gay Video store across the way. The walking was trying on Alan. I later learned Alan had a sensitivity in his ankle.
By midnight, we were back in our hotel room, deciding to cut it short for the night. Alan described it well: “We walked as if we were looking for something, not knowing what it was we were looking for.”
I said, “We were meant to be back at this hotel!”
We listened to a few tunes as Alan bathed and I rested. We both enjoyed the night.
Although, I couldn’t help it. I woke at 5AM.
It’s time for our last breakfast here, then our drive to Brussels, Belgium and the flight to Rome on a Virgin Express airplane.
Present time: June 15, 1999
Wow! What a busy past three weeks I’ve had. From Jamaica, West Indies to celebrate my 40th Birthday to New York City for the wedding of Michael Epstein (Alan’s cousin) and Penny Berns. Then, to look at lofts for sale in NY and take subways in and around NY.
Alan submitted an offer for a loft at 66 Leonard Street for $1,250,000. It really will be magnificent if we get it. I can’t believe I’m going to become bicoastal.
Leaving my former employer (Charles Schwab) has been a good move for me. Operating my ow company, Verona Capital Management, is so much nicer. I can make my own schedule. I just need to make sure my clients are happy. The stock market hasn’t been too favorable the last few weeks, but I am a long-term investor in quality companies. I really hate to sell anything after I buy it; however, it is important to have cash equivalent money available “always” for the next 12 months. Bonds for the next 1 to 3 years with short maturities and stocks for 3 years or more. Alas, enough business talk for now.
Let me write about my experience at THE GOLDEN DOOR. It truly was a week of cleansing. I learned a lot about keeping fit and eating right. I sure had enough daily massages and facials. That’s for sure! It was interesting because they normally only allow 39 guess per week. However, during our men’s week only 22 men were there. They only have four ‘men’s weeks’ per year; four co-ed weeks for some husbands/wives and the rest of the weeks are solely for women only. So, it was nice because we all got extra attention. I enjoyed the daily Water volleyball. Alan and I are pondering a return next year. I think Alan had a better time than I. I was the youngest guest at age 40. I told Alan that many of the guests have a common characteristic: ‘a fear of dying’.
I loved what the founder, Deborah Szekely, said about true childhood is from age 1 through 25; Adolescence is from age 25 through 50; Adulthood is age 51 through 75 and true maturity starts at age 76. It’s nice to know I’m still an adolescent at 40. I told my Dr. Edith Flores at UCLA about this right after my return exam. It was amusing to her.
I received this nice email from my cousin, Denise Padilla, who lives in Albuquerque, NM. It was unbelievable to me because as I read it, I couldn’t help but relate to Denise and her brother, Dean & to Alan and his brother, Richard. I guess sibling rivalry is commonplace.
Denise wrote that her uncle, Edward Espinosa, is coming to visit around July 6th. He wants to have dinner with Alan and me. He likes seafood and the idea of dining on a pier. The only pier I know of is in Sant Monica. There should be some seafood places in the Long Beach vicinity where he will be staying with his friend, Clifton Snyder. I guess I will search the internet when I have time. He’s my cousin after all. He is so nice, too. He always remembers me for my birthday and holidays. Isn’t that the sign of a true gentleman? He had a longtime boyfriend. I think he died of AIDS. My mother said she learned this form his sister, Mabel Chavez. It’s sad to lose someone you love.
I was just talking to my mom because today is June 15th, 1999. It would have been her 41st Wedding anniversary. We all miss my dad. He was a true gentleman in many ways. I think I learned a lot from him. I remember how he taught me to lose weight by eating only one-half of what’s on my plate.
Photo: Monica Small
Monica Small sent me a cute email the other day as she was visiting Pebble Beach, CA (near Carmel). I first met Monica when she walked into my office at Charles Schwab. We hit it off. There was a connection. She became my running partner. We would run around the Brentwood Country Club. She had walked into Charles Schwab last year (1998) with her gay brother, Nikos. We maintained contact. I have not emailed her lately. I really like her, but she told me she met a guy she liked. I expressed my congratulation. She added that he is Christian, seeming very happy about this fact. She’s just too much on the religious front for me. She means well. I know Alan was a little jealous of my relationship with her for a while. I think she liked me, too but she learned about my relationship with Alan and put two and two together. I hope we will remain friends. I’ll have to email her soon. If anything, I will ask how her dog, Sinbad, is doing. We were supposed to run the LA Marathon together. I flaked out as I had to be in the San Francisco Bay Area instead. I did send Monica an email today, June 15, 1999. She has been too much of a stranger lately ever since she found her new Christian beau. Let’s see if I hear back from her.
Gloria Romero, the staff clerk I worked with at Pacific Bell Directory in San Francisco sent me a birthday card and a congrats card on my retirement from Charles Schwab and the start of my new business. She now lives in the state of Washington and his happily retired now after 30 years, or was it 40? That’s an amazing feat. I know my dad worked for Del Monte Corporation for 28 years, yet he never saw retirement because he died too soon at the age of fifty-two. I think that is what partly impacted me in a negative way about staying with one employer for years and years. I am still amazed when I get a birthday card from my Grandma. She ALWAYS remembers and ALWAYS includes $10 or some cash denomination. She’s a real sweetheart.
Grandma's birthday is July 10th, and I am one of her many grandchildren that does NOT forget her birthday. She always tells me, "I Love You." I need to see her when I go to the San Francisco Bay Area between June 25-29. I need to give her a big hug. She is in her 80s. How many more hugs do I have to enjoy with her? I must see her next week, and I will.
Now, Alan Neil Freiman gave me a new Birthday card. He’s so cute and he’s so right in that I’ll never find anyone who loves and cares for me as much as he does for me. I try never to take that for granted. I do treasure all the fun times I have with him. He makes me smile and laugh. He truly is the best-friend I’ve ever had. Carmen, my former coworker at Charles Schwab & Co. finally had her baby girl on May 12, 1999. She named her Kailei Theresa. I went to visit her in the hospital because there were hemorrhaging complications. She's fine and all is okay now. She sure does have a kind heart. I gave her a card when she had the baby with fifty dollars, but the fact that she remembered my birthday means a lot to me. I'll have to send an acknowledgement postcard with a "let's do lunch" note attached soon.
I think my cousin, Edward Espinosa, is a kid at heart. He owns and runs Casa de Flores (a flower shop) in Albuquerque, and he has greeting cards at his fingertips.My friend, John Tuzziano always remembers me. I remember when we met. I was twenty-nine and he was a mere nineteen. We were at THE RAGE in West Hollywood, a gay bar that I had visited while there for a weekend. We’ve always maintained contact. He’s worked at AMTRAK in Customer Service for a few years. Too bad he can’t stabilize on relationships. He was dating a young guy in his early twenties, an Iranian fellow but that didn’t last long. I’ll see him on Friday, June 18th at MARIX/TEX MEX to get his latest scoop.
John wrote me a cool RECIPE FOR FRIENDSHIP:
3 phone calls a week
1 letter a month
2 cups of kindness
4 Saturdays shopping
Mix ingredients carefully, take turns staring; Heap with hugs and laughter; Sweeten to tase and spring with smiles; Bake till memories turn golden. Serves 2.
Love,
John
John also wrote this note on May 23, 1999:
Dear Michael & Alan,
Thank you so much for having me over your home for the BBQ. The two of you mean a lot to me! Alan—give your mom a big kiss and hug for me!
Love,
John
And to close out my June 15th, 1999, I wrote a handwritten letter to Paloma:
8:35AM, UCLA MEDICAL CENTER Dear Paloma,
Here I am waiting for my doctor to arrive. The good news is that I feel terrific. I’m only here for an annual checkup. I’m going to get a prescription for CLARITIN, it’s a great rug for allergies.
I’ve been meaning to write you a long letter for a while now. I think I was inspired today to JUST DO IT as I was driving this morning, listening to the cassette tape of cool French tunes you made for my birthday. I really love it. I know it takes time and effort to make one of these tapes, so I will treasure it and listen to it often.
I’ve been so “on the go” since mid-May. I went to visit my mom, then I went to JAMAICA for my birthday, then to NY for almost a week, then to Escondido at a place called THE GOLDEN DOOR. It's s private resort spa that only takes 39 guests per week. I requested a physically challenging week with only 1100 calories per day and lots of hiking, exercise via aerobics, weight training and abdominal lab work. I also got a massage and faced every day! Boo hot...it ended on Sunday, June 13th. I’ll never forget it though. I really learned how much “garbage” people eat. I ate a lot of fruits and vegetables during the week. I’m trying to be much better about my diet now with more fish and poultry and less red meat. I still like my filet mignon and delicious French Red Wine (Bordeaux), so I won't be without it. I will just do it less often. How about you? Do you still work out? You always had the greatest body.
Enclosed is a brochure of the model, Bridget Hall. I met her a few years ago, so every time I see her on a magazine ad, I get all excited—as if we were best friends or something, Ha-ha). I do have a personal photo of us together (puff-puff).
The big news is that Alan and I are buying a loft in New York City in the Tribeca area. It’s still in the early stages. The loft won’t be ready until probably February 2000. It’s kind of exciting though. The idea of being bicoastal (East Coast & West Coast). It’s also good for our business. I’m registered as an Investment Advisor in California currently. I will eventually get registered for the State of NY.
Did you hear the news about Rupert Murdoch and Ana Murdoch? Rupert is the President of NEWS CORPORATION and the entire 20th Century Fox empire. Rupert and Ana just finalized their divorce. I don’t know what Ana’s settlement was, but she is not the riches woman in America; therefore, you know it was in the billions. Alan and I have met Ana Murdoch. Ana’s brother, Jaan Torv, is dating Alan’s ex-wife, Susan. In fact, Jaan and Susan went to Jamaica with us—as did Alan’s mom (Gloria), stepdad (Jack) and Alan’s eldest daughter, Lauren.
Alan and I are becoming chums with Jaan. We hope to eventually get his sister, Ana as a client one day. Wouldn’t that be cool? Well, it may not happen for a while but maybe we’ll be invited to her parties at least. Wen went to a cocktail party at her house about eight months ago in Brentwood, CA. She was very nice. Taht was the only time we have met her. However, Jaan said if we move to NY, he’d get us invited over to The Hamptons. The Hamptons is in the outskirts of New York City where ‘everyone who’s anyone’ goes to escape. I’ve never been there but I hear it’s a nice area.
I’ll let you know the status of the loft in NY but if all goes well, we’d love to have you as guests whenever you come to NYC.
I think that is so cool that Alexandre’s brother is a chef. I am impressed. Did you know that the BEST chefs are from France? Well, that’s what most Americans believe.
10:25AM
The doctor finally arrived. I’m back in my office. All is going well. I have a morning afternoon appointment tomorrow with two people that I hope will become new clients: Bill Willcox at 9AM and Helen Settle at 1:30PM. I was going to email you, but I know you like the personalized handwritten approach. I do, too. It’s just so much more meaningful. Well, Take Care and regards to Alexandre and Jonathon.
Love You,
Michael J. Armijo
‘STILLNESS is perhaps the most underrated of our qualities.’--THE SONG OF THE CELL, Chapter ‘The Orchestrating Cell’ by Siddhartha Mukherjee
June 1, 2025
Who Knows Where
“Later, I discovered there were different types of roads. And a different way of walking on each.” --Rohinton Mistry, A FINE BALANCE Autumn 1998 continued...
Journal by Alan Freiman:
Saturday, 10/3, 6:30AM
I left L.A with this terrible cold/flu. I made it through the 2-flights okay, sneezing and coughing. After the nap in the hotel, I managed to make it through the day and had a great time at night. As we approached CLUB HEAT aka EXIT, I saw this guy standing outside who looked like he worked there. I asked him, “Where can we get some hash?”
He answered, “Go to a coffee shop and ask for a menu.”
He and his dark-haired Newport Beach California business associate took us to THE OTHER SIDE COFFEESHOP. Michael was now in total control. You know it’s tough to always take control of situations. With me feeling sick I just followed Michael around. He was quite organized and knew his way around the city of Amsterdam. So, Michael and Joe bought hash while I was talked to Cassandra. Joe showed us how to roll the hash like a joint and smoke it. We left after a half hour and walked back to the Club. Michael, as usual, was smooth and flirtatious, telling both that their hair looked good, so they’d feel good.
We were now ready to enter CLUB HEAT and experience an Amsterdam Club. We stayed for 2-hours or 120 minutes of total excitement. But after walking in we decided to hang out by the dark steps, smoking our drugs. We got matches and continually tried to light it and smoke it. We both didn’t feel stoned at this point but maybe we were. The upstairs opened and we sat down by an ashtray and put our ‘hash’ cigarette in the ashtray, trying to breathe in the fumes. Did it work? I think so. During the next 90-minutes we listened to the great upbeat music and had two Amsel Light top-of-the-line beers. We cruised the multilevel, multi-lit bar. We only spoke to one guy, an Irish fellow who gives the Irish a bad name (ugly) even though he rubbed his hard one against me.
Michael says, “I have never been in a darkroom.”
But he certainly enjoyed walking and stopping through it. At one point we saw three of the dancers getting ready to put on their show. One with dyed blond hair showed his butt for all to view. The tall German hunk was Ok in his briefs.
There seemed to be three tiny rooms in the maze of the darkroom that led to a restroom. Each of the rooms had a theme. One had little glory holes in the wall, another had a total glory hole in the wall, and the third had equipment that we saw in the constant videos throughout the bar. I entitle the videos, “Butt Surgery”. Michael says the equipment in the third room is called “The Sling”.
My words, the next morning:
10/3 7:05AM:
Still in Room 116 at the Amstel Intercontinental Hotel
Alan is getting ready for breakfast now. I wanted to do a morning Health Club visit but it’s not open until 8AM, so that will have to be put on hold. Breakfast availability was at 7AM. Good!
I see Alan documented our experiences at EXIT or CLUB HEAT from last night. All I can say is Alan said, “We didn’t do anything wrong.” However, some of those ‘wander throughs’ in those upstairs darkrooms were quite risqué. I lost Alan only once, but I surprised him by grabbing his tush to reassure him that I didn’t venture off to ‘who knows where’.
The first night out in an Amsterdam Club will remain as Nat King Cole would say, “Unforgettable”. Some things are better left unwritten or unsaid. 6pm, October 3, 1998, Room 116, Amstel Intercontinental Hotel:
Saturday morning began with a beautiful canal view and continental breakfast right here at our hotel. It was 7AM and we were the only ones in the delectable dining area. Alan totally agreed with my one-word description of this hotel: “Presidential!”
WE tried it again. We took our rental car and drove (well, Alan did the driving as I navigated) to several Amsterdam destinations. Our first stop was Anne Frank’s home here while in hiding where she wrote her diary. Then we ventured to the Cental Gronthendel’s Market only to learn that it’s a wholesale marketplace for vendors and we were not permitted inside. Henceforth, we did not get discouraged and we moved along to Rembrandt Park for a brisk walk, taking a few photos, feeling the cool air (“severely cold” as Alan would say). The pores on our faces were naturally being cleaned from the air. After Alan shortened our walk in Rembrandt Park we drove to the Rijksmuseum. We learned that the Van Gogh Musuem was under renovation, but the Van Gogh works held here were on exhibit in the Rijksmuseum. We viewed several paintings at the Rijks and really enjoyed the audio tour of the Van Gogh exhibition. It was magnificent and as always inspired me to do several paintings. I can’t wait to really prioritize my time in being more creative.
We found a ‘Small Talk Cafe’ and share a club sandwich and a Gouda Cheese sandwich. Alan had his Fromin's chicken soup revisited right here in Amsterdam.
At a point of exhaustion we were at the hotel, napping by 2PM. Awaking at 5PM we strolled downstairs for a little late afternoon tea. Alan and I discussed how lucky we are as a couple and how we’ve grown as a couple. We talked about the Yvette’s and Diane’s we know in our lives. I even shared my Lucia Junqueira Franco of Sao Paulo Brazil story and the Craig of Hawaii/Palm Springs conflict/rendezvous. Jeez, the short stories Alan and I can write. It's time for another stroll to our Regulersdwarsstradt street for dinner and maybe a t-shirt, sweatshirt of CD purchase.
June 3, 1999
‘Where I Bought This Book’
This is the start of something NEW. I was inspired by Peter Beard. He was a graduate from YALE UNIVERSITY who left for Africa and very rarely came back to the USA. A few years back I found a postcard of Peter Beard, writing while relaxing inside the mouth of a crocodile. TH\e postcard intrigued me so that I often wondered about Peter Beard. After recently completing George Plimpton’s book about TRUMAN CAPOTE, I was reintroduced to Peter Beard as they were friends. Now, only two days ago I visited THE TIME IS ALWAYS NOW contemporary art gallery at 476 Broome Street in the SOHO area of NYC. I was in awe by the ‘Carnets Africains’ the complete retrospective of photography and diaries of Peter Beard. After seeing his volumes of diaries and selected articles and photos I realized I should and could do something similar. 
Peter Beard has a cult following. I never knew that. It reminds me of my DARK SHADOWS cult followers who loved that gothic soap opera like I did. I can see how and why Peter Beard would be looked upon with fascination. A great place in NYC for scrambled egg whites is THE MERCER KITCHEN. Breakfast is my very favorite meal. We even ate at this place called THE CUPPING ROOM CAFE. The vegetarian egg white omelet is great. We also tried Jerry’s Kitchen a block away from THE MERCER KITCHEN. Id’ never go back. It was not so great. We can’t win them all.
And so, as an inspiration from Peter Beard this book is a sort of beginning for me of contiguous writings, thoughts and reminiscences. I just turned 40 years old on May 26, 1999, and celebrate by birthday at a Villa called The Fairway Manor on the island of Jamaica in the Montego Bay area.
Tonight, I am at the SOHO Grand Hotel in NYC, and I return to Los Angeles tomorrow, June 4th at around noontime.
I sent mom a postcard from THE CUPPING ROOM CAFE:
6-4-99 Hi Mom. I’m here in NY (my last day). I sure had a great Birthday. Wow. 40th Birthday, too. Ha-ha. You know, I’m really 30. Just think, next week I’ll be at THE GOLDEN DOOR in Escondido (near San Diego). That should be interesting—not to mention relaxing. I’m not getting enough email from you! I Love You Anyway. Love, Michael J Armijo
I also send Paloma a couple of postcards:
6-4-99
Hi Paloma,
I was in JAMAICA from y Birthday. Too Fun. Now in NY for a wedding and a little business. I saw a preview of a French film called SITCOM. It looks funny.
Love, Michael
6-4-99
Paloma,
You’re such a sweetie to always remember my Birthday! I love the tape so far. I haven’t heard all the music. I still plan to answer your letter in detail but it’s still drying. It arrived wet as it had endured a thunderstorm. OH well, they can’t all get delivered perfectly. Alan and I are going to the GOLDEN DOOR this week. It’s the number #1 spa since 1988 per Conde Naste Magazine. It’s in in Escondido, near San Diego. I’ll let you know how it is. I ate at VONG’s in NY. Yummy!
Love, Michael
6:55AM, June 4, 1999
It’s packing time. First, Alan, Lauren and I will go for a bit of breakfast (THE CUPPING ROOM CAFE).
Yesterday, Alan and I went to the St. REGIS HOTEL for two glasses of their delicious Chardonnay. It was quite nice. It was one of the few times I felt alone with Alan. It was short-lived because we were meeting Jaan Torv for dinner at SOLERO, a Spanish-style restaurant. It was fun. We had a glass of clear sherry and some tapas at the bar. Jaan told us that his sister, Ana Murdoch, was buying a condo at the old Westbury Hotel which is being refurbished into condominiums. She’s getting the floor below the Penthouse, and we estimate she’s paying a minimum of $4 Million for it. I wish I could afford that one! After dinner at SOLERO, Jann invited us to the Alphabet City area of NYC where we went to THUNDERBIRDS. Upstairs they do small Live-Acts in a sort of lounge setting. It was quite relaxing and non-intimidating. Although the crowd seemed to be on the younger side. The performer was ELVIS SINATRA who lives in Providence, Rhode Island but he performs every Thursday night in June at this so-called place, THUNDERBIRDS.
It’s a whole other world in New York each time you enter a new establishment. Alan and I met Mr. Broadband (ARTHUR MCKINLEY). He is Jaan’s pal at the lounge. He gave us his business card. He’s a VP of Corporate Development for WINSTAR Communications at 230 Park Avenue in NYC. I gave him my business card, too.
Alan and I went out the night of June 1st. That was the night to see a film called EDGE OF SEVENTEEN. It was playing at the QUAD CINEMA, and it was amusing because it took place in 1984 and that was around the same period that I was feeling comfortable about my ‘coming out’ (as gay) myself. The film played songs I love from BRONSKI BEAT and YAZ. I was introduced to both of those groups by a former boyfriend from Sunnyvale, CA named Geroge Jones back in 1982-83. The film felt like a sort of a flashback of my life.
The film GET REAL which we watched in Los Angeles last month (May 1999) was much better in terms of storyline. It was a British film. It reminded me of that book I love called NOW AND THEN by William Corlett. It handled ‘coming out’ in a most caring way.
I found these cards (of a gay John Blair Party) on the Tribeca NYC streets while walking with Alan and Gloria. WE had just looked at condominiums for sale at the NORTH MOORE, 140 Franklin Street. We called it the ALDO as we’ve named it for the AVANTE GARDE Italian architect.
We also saw condominiums for sale at the FISCHER MILLS building and at ‘66 Leonard Street’. We liked Unit 10A at 66 Leonard Street best. We'll see if it comes true as far as buying it. The other flyer I found on the street was of a shirtless guy with the world DRAMA about a Memoria Day Weekend party at the LIMELIGHT on May 30, 1999. We missed it. Thank God!
We had some cool sightings while in NY this week: Actor Lawrence Fishburn at the FELIX RESTAURANT in SOHO, sandwiched between two white girls were “oogling” over him. He played Morpheus in THE MATRIX, the Time-Warner film. I also remember Fishburn as a child actor in the soap opera, ONE LIFE TO LIVE. He is about my age. I also spotted actor Richard Gere unshaven with a plain white baseball cap on Spring Street one night after seeing a play with Alan, Jack and Gloria called AMY’S VIEW, Judi Dench was the star of the play.
Then we saw actor Peter Strauss of the mini-series from the late 1970s called RICH MAN, POOR MAN. He was a couple of urinals away from me at the theater where Alan, Jack, Gloria and I saw THE ICEMAN COMETH. It was too wordy of a play, and it was a story made for an alcoholic. There were some good actors in it: Kevin Spacey, Robert Sean Leonard, Paul Giamatti, Tony Danza and more. Alan and I stayed for all 4 ½ hours of it. What an endurance test that was. Gloria and Jack left after the 2nd intermission, missing the last Act 4 where it was clarified that Kevin Spacey killed his ‘enabler’ and his wife and was set free from his habit of drinking alcohol. It was a strange play. I couldn’t help thinking of my cousin, Cecelia Garcia-Markus, who died of alcoholism poisoning (cirrhosis of the liver) earlier this year. What a shame that so many people knowingly poison themselves. God help them learn to breathe. Some people just need to learn to STOP AND SMELL THE ROSES. Alan stopped to get me this wonderful “I LOVE YOU” card. I got it AFTER my Birthday, too. Alan arranged a beautiful and special trip to Jamaica and Montego Bay. There are plenty of photos and videos to prove the enjoyment of it all. I, especially, liked my Birthday dinner poolside (despite some mosquitoes) with the 3-man reggae band singing OH CHERRY BABY; JAMMIN; RED, RED WINE and more. Nothing beats the tropics. It all happened so fast. We flew out from LA on Saturday, May 22nd for a one-nighter at the W HOTEL on Lexington with all these gorgeous men, wearing black. They were the bell boys and baggage carriers. Alan and I had a postage stamp-sized room but what do you expect for $189 per night? Jack, Gloira and Lauren were there, too—all cramped into one room.
The next day, May 23rd, Sunday we were off to JAMAICA and The Villa Mawr with a Butler named Lloyd, a cook name Grace and a housekeeper named Estelle. They were all so very nice. Susan Freiman and her beau, Jaan Torv, jammed with us in the same van from the Jamaica Airport with our driver, Marvin, who’d been waiting for our arrival.
Villa Mawr was a delightful place to be. I’ll never forget the gorgeous views. I watched MALICE (the movie); played a scrabble game with Jaan, Susan and Gloria; drank enough Jamaican Rum and worked out sufficiently at the Wyndham Hotel.
The scariest event of all was our fisherman excursion boat ride. It’s a joke when you look back now. The white caps in the ocean were the initial warning sign. I had no clue about white caps until I was out there. It means the tides are rough. There were no life jackets on the boat and that was also a warning sign. And in the beginning, when Alan sang the theme song from GILLIGAN’S ISLAND—about how the weather started getting rough—the tiny ship was lost was another warning sign. If not for the courage of the fearless crew the minnow would be lost. The 3-hour tour turned into 45 minutes for us. I stayed at the bottom of the boat, glued to the couch, fearful for my life given that I cannot swim. I thought the boat might tip over. I kept thinking of that terrifying film, based on a true story, WHITE SQALL, of which I muse see again. We have the videotape. Susan went to the upper deck, Alan followed. When Susan came back down, she had to vomit. Then, Alan came down and he had his vomit turn. Figuring you can’t beat ‘em...join ‘em...Gloria reached out for the trash bin for her moment of sea sickness vomit herself. And to think I had four pancakes that morning. Luckily, I did NOT vomit. Gloria said, “Michael, you have a stomach of steel.”
Jaan urged the three fishermen to turn around to take us back to land. Thank God! Of course, Jaan had to go back (alone) with the fishermen for more treacherous seas. I never thought I’d go on a boat again-even an ocean liner CruiseShip but three days later we did take the Calico Sunset Cruise, and it really wasn’t so bad (much calmer). We saw the same NO PROBLEM fishermen boat approaching our sunset sailboat and to our amazement they had caught a huge fish. I believe it was a swordfish. It really was hilarious because when we were on their boat it was so frightening, but the fishermen kept saying, “NO PROBLEM”. It was a problem! We had no luck catching fish that day. We settled for breast of lamb cooked by Grace and that was fine by me.
After three days at VILLA MAWR we moved on down the hill to The Fairway Manor with the staff: Godfrey (aka Becky), Nigel, Angela and Eena. This place was far more superior as Gloria had said. The pool and jacuzzi and open-air setting was simply the ultimate in relaxation. What a special place to go to on May 26, 1999-my 40th year on this earth. The Half Moon Inn resort was truly a gift in itself. What a beautiful place. Again, we took advantage of their fitness facilities. I really felt good about body conditioning maintenance.
By the 29th of May we were headed for NY at the SOHO Grand Hotel. W became more familiar with SOHO. We took the subway and the bus and did plenty of walking. Alan got his hair done by some Japanese guy for the wedding of Michael Epstein and Penny Berns. Michael Epstein is Alan’s first cousin. Michael’s mother, Marilyn, and Alan’s father, Leonard were brother and sister. The wedding was fun. I dance a little with Robin Epstein and Dawn Manning. Alan, Jack and I looked sharp in our tuxedos. Gloria’s hair really came out smooth. She looked great.
And now, it’s all a memory that has passed. Jack and Gloria left NY yesterday for Santa Monica. Alan, Lauren and I are all in-flight and almost back to LaLaLand.
“Always have something to look forward to.”
WE have Michael Freiman’s Bar Mtizvah tmorrow. I don’t know what to make of that event. There’s always so much friction between Alan and his brother, Richard; however, things seem mellow between them right now. Perhaps a new door has opened.
Another door will open and that is THE GOLDEN DOOR where Alan and I will be when we head to Escondido (near San Diego). It’s an escapists resort of which costs $5000 per person for a week of physical activity, massages, facials and hopefully, rest and relaxation.
I am looking forward to THE GOLDEN DOOR, but I can’t help but feel a neglect for my new business, VERONA CAPITAL MANAGEMENT. It’s not that it’s overlooked as we will be networking for new clients, and we are keeping contact with our existing clients via email. In fact, we were in contact with Monica C Webb, a divine client, while we were in Jamaica. I also emailed Helen from NY. We placed some transactions while in NY successfully.
Good old Barry Smolev, called me again. He is high maintenance, and we don’t want him as a Verona client. I dread calling him. I will call him though. I must do it.
June 5, 1999
Alan and I were bullish on the stock ANF: Abercrombie & Fitch. WE both won shares in the company. They have an innovative ad campaign, and we feel the stock will continue to be consistent. It was recently $95 per share and it’s about $82 now. It will be splitting 2 for 1 and once that happens, I can easily see it at $50 (equivalent to $100 now). So, I’ll hold on to my ANF. How ironic that the stock symbol is identical to Alan’s initials ANF: Alan Neil Freiman. We continue to shop at Abercrombie & Fitch whenever we can. We depart for THE GOLDEN DOOR tomorrow and Alan needs to purchase hiking boots. Maybe we will make a pre or post visit to the local Abercrombie & Fitch on the Third Street Promenade.
We went to the morning service or Michael Freiman’s Bar Mitzvah in Agoura Hills, CA today. Alan and I did head out to PEETS COFFEE earlier for our cappuccino and latte with banana nut bread for old times' sake. It’s our regular habit and we hadn’t done it since our return from Jamaica/NY.
Michael Freiman sort of looked the same as I remembered him with his freckled-face and his conniving, sneaky, underhanded smile. All Michael Freiman’s friends had that same short spiked with gel hairdo. It looked kind of funny seeing them all as a carbon copy of each other. Michael’s elder brother, Larry, was so tall. He’s probably about 6 feet 4 inches now. He always seemed to be a swell kind of guy.
Gloria said, “Larry got a 965 on his SAT test and he’s set on the Moorpark Community College.”
It sounds like he gave up hope on his aspirations to go to the University of Nevada or Cornell University for Hotel and Business Management. However, he is so tall and handsome. Tall people are known to be more successful than average. I know he’ll be a success on whatever he goes after.
After the morning service I kind of knew several people but felt rather non-sociable. I was bad during service because I read more than half of the journal my cousin MaryAnn Gheling had written for me.
I received a few more Birthday emails namely from Deanna Campbell, Carol Lucero and Ashley Armijo. The mail from Deanna—on behalf of her husband, Reed—was nice. Reed asked her to send it. I used to work with Reed in San Francisco at Pac Bell Directory until he retired. We’ve kept in touch and her email moved me in that comment where she mentioned that Reed thinks of me as another son. I liked Cousin Carol’s email too—we had dinner together at IL FORNAIO in Pasadena in April while she was here for a convention on Speech Pathology. Ashley’s email was cute. She loves using my mom’s new computer. I thought this was clever of her and added a nice personal touch as she included a cool GEMINI illustration. I hope Ashley pursues writing or something in the Computer Science filed. She is very good at it. Mom says she recently concentrated her efforts on an English paper about ROMEO AND JULIET and received an A+. That reminds me of the wonderful film, SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE. To think they originally wanted Julia Roberts to play Gwyneth Paltrow’s apart as Juliet. Gwyneth went on to win the Academy Award. I can’t see Julia doing the part. I read the journal MaryAnn Gehling sent me from beginning to end. I just tried calling her but there was no answer. I learned that she’s still dwelling on the hurtful parts of her life like when her brother, Dave, died in Vietnam and how she survived breast cancer by way of a mastectomy. All I can do is to continue to try and comfort her. She is happy I am in her life but sometimes other personalities within her come about that I do NOT need.
After Michael Freiman’s Bar Mitzvah it was time for lunch. Susan and Carrie Freiman did not go with us because they were going to the dog cemetery to see their old dog, Sammy. Jack, Gloria, Alan, Lauren and I enjoyed our salad/whitefish sandwich/ bagel and lox with much content. The main topic was Susan wanting more respect from Lauren and Lauren wanting more respect from Susan. It’s an ongoing argument. Lauren and Susan have had extreme differences. Alan hit it right on the button today. Susan sees ‘Alan IN Lauren’ and Susan despises Lauren’s being so outspoken, direct, opinionated an in-control. I guess no one can argue that those are all good qualities to have for a successful life. I just hope Laruen remembers to stop and smell the roses. I don't’ think she needs to be reminded. She’s good at smelling the roses. Alan just left to find some hiking boots. THE GOLDEN DOOR visit is tomorrow. I can’t believe it. It must be as good as it sounds. There’s supposed to be another 38 men there during our weeklong stay. They must be successful to afford the cost. I plan to take advantage of every minute for health and fitness. It’s fun having something to look forward to that has an element of surprise. I sure like the idea of a daily facial and massage. Rejuvenation here I come!
‘He visualized the wide beaches of California spread out in front of him, with pelicans and lifeguards and little kids with plastic pails full of sand.’--Christopher Stanton, in his short story, THE DUKE from his book, THE UNDERACHIEVER
