Michael Joe Armijo's Blog, page 138

Hit My Heart

Was he an animal, that music had such an effect upon him? He felt as if the way were opening before him to the unknown nourishment he craved.
-Franz Kafka
"The Metamorphosis"

Twenty-five years ago today

November 26, 1985
Tuesday

I cut my ear while shaving today.

I have to do three things today:
1. Make reservations for dinner on Wednesday night.
2. Telephone Dennis Reno about the International Car Show tickets
3. Call Worthington's to see if my 'Brothers' portrait proofs are ready

I did not really make any reservations today. It was very busy at work. I had a mediocre sales day. It doesn't really matter.

I did call Dennis about the International Car Show but I learned that he is out vacationing (or something) until December 2, 1985. I guess I can wait (if Chad can).

Worthington's pictures were ready, so I ordered a 16 x 20 portrait for mom. What the hell…it's going to cost me but that's mom and dad's main gift, so heck…it's worth it. The proofs were okay and it was hard to narrow it down to one where we all looked half-way decent. I did finally pick one. And since I was in the area of the portrait studio I went to the gym for one-set of weights and a thirty-six minute ride on the Life Cycle.

I dropped at mom and dad's house for a quick sandwich.

When I reached y pad I began clipping ads and pictures of things in magazines to wrap Chad's 'Rocking Horse' Christmas ornament. I think he'll like that. It's just a tiny, thoughtful gesture. In fact, Chad called while I was wrapping it.
"Mike, I thought of you several times today."
He is going to meet me—after all—after work tomorrow. We are going to have dinner somewhere. It ought to be a fun evening. I'm excited about getting out of work now.

Chad told me something that really hit my heart.
"I've got to let you know that I'm really growing to love you."
It was important for him to let me know his feelings just in case something happened. He's such a neat person. I've found quality in Chad Glen and he's one qualitative friend that I want as part of my life forever.

I know the other night after our petty arguments I had thought, "I don't need him."
However, when it comes to an essential friendship way—alone—I do need him. I love him.

Once the smallest detail was understood, then everything was understood.
-Franz Kafka
"The Top"

The Two Knights

My afternoon had spoilt me for the hours that remained, and I thought how long they would seem until my bed-time, how empty too my supper all alone.
-Daphne du Maurier
"Rebecca"

SECRETS by O.M.D
The Lyrics

I got a secret and I can't explain
All the time, I've waited for this day
All along I was never in doubt
I always knew it would never get out
There are things that I cannot tell
And there are things that you know damn well
This is getting very hard for me
I guess you'd better just wait and see

This is all, this is all
You heard a message and the message was clear
All the time you wipe away that tear
And all I want is to hold your hand
To see the sun and walk the sand
You make me sad and you make me glad
And now you see all my secret is this love
Is love, Is love
My secret is this love

Everyday you're always there
You comfort me
And make me feel it's worth my while
And then I look around and you're not there
And everyday you say you care and I'll beware

This is all, this is all

I've got a secret and I can't explain
All I want is to hold your hand
All along I was never in doubt
To see the sun and to walk the sand

Twenty-five years ago today

November 25, 1985
Monday

Okay…it's a short week, so I'll make it. Normally I'd be counting the days until my next couple of days off. This time it all happened so fast. I guess my personal life (named Chad) is filling my time well.

If anyone got their hands on my journal I'd hope it would be understood about what a friend I have in Chad. He's my Knight-in-Shining-Armor as I am his Knight.
 
Work was really busy today.

Margaret Lai was not at the office.

After my stressful work day I was going to do aerobics but my mom persuaded me to go over to her house for dinner. Then I had a nice chat with both mom and dad. I hadn't seen them in a good while.

I went to the gym and Buddy was there. I did one set of weight training and twenty-four minutes on the Life Cycle.

I returned home to fold clothes and had plans to go straight to bed.

I did leave an answering machine message for Chad.
I asked, "Hey Chad, would you call me when you get this message?"

He did call back just as that 'Tarzan Boy' song began to start-up on the radio.
Chad also reminds me of another song called "SECRETS" by O.M.D.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxFsp5F1axA

Chad asked me, "What do you think about the International Car Show?"
"I don't know. I think we should go though."
And so, we may go to that Show in The City soon. We also talked about meeting up in The City on Wednesday night. He wants me to show him around The City.

We were both apologetic about our 'teeny-weeny' gripes over this past weekend. We were now able to laugh about it. We were realizing how much we missed one another. We both really want our relationship to grow strong and work out even better. He will be my roommate eventually. I know he will.

Chad finally said, "I'll probably stay with you during that week of December when I'm off from school."
"That sounds fun."
It was now bed-time.

"I am NOT a Russian spy."
--Angelina Jolie
In the 2010 film, SALT

Solid As A Rock

"If you can't master your thoughts then you're in trouble forever."
-as heard in the 2010 film, EAT PRAY LOVE

Twenty-five years ago today

November 24, 1985
Sunday

Chad and I woke up on This Sunday morning and we were on each others' nerves (I guess). Chad was feeling overly sensitive when I said, "No" with regard to his scooting over next to me on the bed; whereby, he took it upon his own initiative to go downstairs and sleep on the couch.

Alas, we seemed to iron things out and we went to the Royal Oak Pub for breakfast. There was a great view. It was a nice setting.

We went to South Shore Shopping Center where I bumped into Nici Maurino, a fellow telephone company employee. She looked okay (kind of plain). I introduced Chad to Nici and it was a quick, small chat. Chad and I continued our exploration on this Sunday and ended up buying 'movie snacks'.

It was suddenly a rainy day. We rented two movies: TIM starring Mel Gibson (and based on Colleen McCullough's book) and DIVA (a French film). We watched both films at my place. We 'played' as well.

By 9PM we were into some TV movie called DOUBLETAKE. We realized it was almost 10PM and I drove Chad home to the Hayward Hills. We plan on getting-together again on Wednesday night (or maybe next weekend). We're lovers now and 'solid as a rock' (I guess one could say). He knows me better now and vice-versa. Time shall tell.

I could feel the cold comfort of my sheets in my own bed.
-Daphne du Maurier
"REBECCA"

Unexpected Company

Their relationship was built on friendship, and in matters of friendship he was boundlessly loyal. It was a relationship that would survive the harshest tests.
-Stieg Larsson
"The Girl Who Played With Fire"

Twenty-five years ago today

November 23, 1985
Saturday

My garage door screwed up on me last night. Oh well. I told 'ma' to tell 'da' this morning. Chad and I had a full Saturday to spend together.

We had some unexpected company. My sis-in-law, Sherri, came over for a little while. Then Chad and I went to La Petit Boulangerie. Sherri accompanied us to The City (San Francisco) and we ended up shopping around. Sherri bought my brother, John, some POLO clothes. Chad and I admired one another secretly. We returned to my pad and hung out. Sherri had gone home.

Chad and I were going to go to FAT FANNY's. Instead, we went to The Acapulco, a Mexican Restaurant, in Alameda. We returned to my place and watched Hitchcock's NORTH BY NORTHWEST. Then we went to bed. He was 'within' me for the second night in a row. It was fine.

"Nobody can avoid falling in love," he said, "They might want to deny it, but friendship is probably the most common form of love."
-Stieg Larsson
"The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest"

The 'Vibes'

"As always, my work gave my life form, forced me to be productive, and helped me to keep a good balance. Without a challenging project…I could well have gone cuckoo."
--Julia Child
"My Life in France"

Twenty-five years ago today

November 22, 1985
Friday

Tonight is Japanese food at NAKAMURA at Pier 39 in San Francisco with my office Section. It ought to be fun. I am going to indulge. That's for sure!

I keep thinking of little things that Chad has told me:
"Among most of the people I see or know you rate a nine in terms of physique."

Another line I remember him saying was:
"I like every part of you and I care very, very, very, very much about you."

The 'vibes' are exactly ditto as far as I'm concerned. What a bud!

My Japanese dinner with my section over at Pier 39 last night was tremendous fun. We all had such a good time, eating at NAKAMURA. I had two scorpion cocktails. Those were strong drinks!

After dinner I went home and the first thing I did was call Chad Mark Glen.
He answered on the first ring.

We made arrangements for me to pick him up on this very night. I did just that as we went to the gym for a work out. Then we went to my place.
And then we…Yes!

"I believe that a healthy person is a person who doesn't have to hide anything."
--The Operator:
David Geffen Builds Buys, and Sells the New Hollywood
(page 396 hardcover)
by Tom King

I'm Busy

When a love-relationship is at its height there is no room left for any interest in the environment; a pair of lovers are sufficient to themselves to make them happy.
-Sigmund Freud
"Civilization and its Discontents"

Twenty-five years ago today

November 21, 1985
Thursday

I worked hard today (as usual). I telephoned mom and I learned that she has all of next week scheduled off as vacation time. I also learned that I haven't paid my Dad the rent for November.

Margaret Lai and I shared lunch together over at the Pizza Boat place. It was nice. She's such a sweet lady. I showed her my photographs. She liked the same one that Chad and Larry liked, so I guess that's the one.

Chad made me feel good last night when he said, "I'm going to take my pictures to show my classmates at school."
I guess he really liked the pictures. My favorites are the ones of him.

I came home and wrote out the twenty dollar check for my parking ticket. I delayed writing it for long enough.

Then, I went to the gym. The cute brunette gal who teaches evening aerobics said, "Hi" to me with the brightest of smiles. I've noticed her looking over at me now and again. Hmmm…I wonder?
I worked out fairly well but I feel bad because I have not been doing my aerobics video as much as I want to be doing it. I am just plain not making the time for it.

When I returned home Cedric Green called me. I gave him a few choice words.
I said, "Well, I'm busy on Saturday and Sunday!"
How does one tell a reasonably nice guy that you can't make time to spend with him? Cedric wants to go out for a simple drink but I'm just not INTO the idea.

Danny Garcia called me also. He's going to FAT FANNY's in Danville on Saturday night with his cousin, Tanya.
"I was hoping you'd come with us."
"Well, I kind of have plans already," I replied (not mentioning that Chad and I are all INTO spending an outing together).
I'm really not sure what Chad and I will be doing yet.
I finally said, "Okay, Danny…maybe I will go."

I telephoned Chad but I had to leave an answering machine message via his recorder. He wasn't home. Oh well…I'll see him tomorrow night (I guess).

For the first time, I realized almost consciously that I felt something different for him. I had had similar feelings for boys when I was younger but I didn't know what they were. I thought they were just feelings of intense friendship. For the first time, I realized I felt attracted to another boy.
-Marcelo F. Pinto
Dallas, Texas
"Telling Tales Out of School" edited by Kevin Jennings

A Whole New Ball Game

Ultimately, we are only as old as we feel in our hearts and minds.
...passion is our inspiration, and our true longing must always remain a desire for love.
-Thomas Mann
"Death In Venice"

Twenty-five years ago today

November 20, 1985
Wednesday

Work hasn't exactly been a blessing lately. It's very busy. There is overtime and I don't care to work it.

Debra Neal of LAURA TODD Cookies wants me to meet the President and Chairman of American Data Financial, Patrick Brent, who is also affiliated with other companies:   http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P._T._Brent
I am kind of excited about meeting him. If I get an offer that I just can't refuse I will certainly go for it.

Steph Redding is writing a new book. I suggested the title of "Tour de France", a novel, introducing Michael Swift. She loved that concept. I can't wait to read her first completed draft.

I went to SAFEWAY to pick-up the developed photographs taken of Chad and I. A lot of them came out pretty good. I'm excited about showing them to Chad tonight.

I was at the gym as planned but Chad was not there! When I got home he actually persuaded me to drive all the way into Hayward to his place.
We had fun looking at the pictures. We sort of watched DYNASTY and talked about our relationship.   It was made clear that we both care a lot about one another. Chad has officially decided that we'd make great roommates, not to mention "lovers". Yes, lovers. I am falling in love as is he for me. It's a whole new ball game with Chad. We had such a neat talk on this evening. When I left his house he gave me a card. It was a nice card with a great poem that I could easily title 'Because you're My Friend'. Chad's closing handwritten words were 'Wish you were by my side right now and always. Love, Chad.'


"He's pulling the load of an ox and walking on eggshells."
-Stieg Larsson
"The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo"

Things Should Loosen Up

"Don't play games with me. I don't want a double-life."
-Just A Question of Love
2000 French Film

Twenty-five years ago today

November 19, 1985
Tuesday

Last night I was eating sardines (compliments of my Dad) with crackers and my last Diet Sprite as I was talking to Chad on the telephone. Chad and I definitely miss one another. We are going to likely meet up on Wednesday evening at the gym.  His schooling takes up much of his time. I'm glad that he's going for his ambitious whims in the field of Broadcast Communications. If only he (or I) would have won the two million dollar lottery winnings last night. Both Chad and I agree that 'money isn't everything' but it most certainly helps.

Today was proactive selling day. I, of course, sold nothing. I did have a few reactive calls from yesterday in which I did sell; whereby, it wasn't all that bad.

During the morning Service Committee meeting Ryan announced that he was resigning from the Committee if Dale Orlando stays on. I had lunch with Ryan yesterday. Today I had lunch with Ryan and his friend, Steve, and it seems Dale is back to his old meddling and interfering ways in the life of 'Ryan and Joe'. There was a 2 o'clock meeting scheduled in which Dale was expected to resign.
Dale asked his Section Supervisor (Stephanie Bautista) to appear with him. It really got hot and steamy between Ryan and Dale. I barely said a word. I knew where Ryan was coming from though. I was tired of hearing 'petty shit' that Dale has told other people about me. For someone to actually KNOW ME is to KNOW ME. Dale knows me like he'll know his son when he grows up (not fully).

I went home and called Chad but he wasn't at home. I started to do aerobics when Chad called me.
"My outing on the weekend of December 6th is at the CONCORD HILTON," Chad announced excitedly.
"Okay, I'm pretty sure I can go. I can probably rent a room there just to see you and hang out."
Once again, Chad seems very happy with me as I am with him. We reconfirmed the likelihood of seeing one another at the gym tomorrow night. That's a plus.

I tried to do aerobics again when the phone rang again. This time it was Leonard Perillo.
"Hi Mike. I wanted to tell you to keep an eye out on the paper for news over the next couple of days."
"Oh really, do I get a hint on what it's about?"
"Well, I'm being interviewed a lot about the Foundation. I've been very busy with business and lawsuits, too but by next week things should loosen up."
"You need to rest, Leonard."
"Yes, I know."
 
I received a job offer out-of-the-blue from Debra Neal yesterday about managing a LAURA TODD's Cookie Bakery outlet on Powell Street, making a mere $19,000 annually. She wants me to come in to meet with a guy named Peter Brent tomorrow. I may do it—for the interview—as it wouldn't hurt to make a connection.

I washed clothes and went to bed a bit early this evening.

I also filled out the Employee of the Month Awards. I have the honor of announcing and distributing them to the office tomorrow morning. 
Big Whoopee doo…

I have Chad's photos here. They make me smile.


 
 "When you don't know, you should consider every possibility."
-Shall We Kiss?
2007 French Film

A Time for Us

"Does my music shut out the rest of the world for you?"
-Camille, 1936 'Great Garbo' film

Twenty-five years ago today

November 18, 1985
Monday

Chad Glen let me wear his SWATCH watch and I let him wear mine. We "switch SWATCH'd". He's also got my POLO yellow Rugby shirt but it is okay (it looks good on him). It looks good on me, too. He can fit into my clothes. It was fun changing clothes with him yesterday and taking all of those photos.

Today is another day and 'most likely' I will see Chad at the gym tonight. I'm looking forward to it.

Chad said, "Sure, I'll go on your Company Bay Cruise with you on December 14th."
He is now my 'fake' roommate according to Sue and Mike and anyone else concerned. We're becoming good friends (and more). I played that 'ONLY YOU' song by YAZ for him last night. It's the one that George Jones introduced to me.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5hCxZ_vr70

Chad played 'A Time for Us' on his new piano phone. I didn't think one could actually play piano on it. He is very romantically-inclined. He's quite a "gent".

Work was okay with regards to my SALES but I was tired. There's overtime available until December 19, 1985. I don't feel like working any of it though.

January 9th is coming closer. I am beginning to wonder if I'll be able to transfer-out of this department very easily.

After my work day I soon found myself home, taking a nap until 6:40PM. Jim Koran called me from Los Angeles. He was in good spirits. It was nice to hear from him. I guess he'd received the card I sent him with the JAMES DEAN image.
Jim said, "Yeah, I'm looking into the modeling scene."
"Did you cut your hair?"
"No, it's still long but I did shave my face."
We both laughed.
"So what else is new?"
Jim revealed, "I met someone special at my gym that I've been seeing lately."
It sounded familiar.

I went to my gym and worked out, looking every which way for Chad. I didn't see him. I left and stopped to see my Dad for a minute. When I did arrive home I decided to call Chad.
Chad said, "I just called you five minutes ago!"
"Oh, after the gym I stopped at my Dad's house. You know…every time I look at your SWATCH watch I think of you!"
"I have the same thoughts."
We both agreed on how we had a great weekend together. He is so complimentary to me and it makes me feel good. Sometimes he is also sarcastic. It hurts a little because I know he must have thought these 'little things' to have said them (I can't tell for sure).

Chad mentioned the weekend of December 6th and the possibility of my meeting up with him for some Theatrical Performance that he is involved with at Chabot College. I'm all for attending. He's going to accompany me on the 'Christmas on the Bay' with me…so why the hell not go to his Theater thing.
Chad added, "I put my piano phone together and in the middle of the night it started to play 'A Time for Us'. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcyRO_ZFa9I

We talked about 'ten years from now' (1995) and "us" and the possibility of our being roommates one day. Sometimes I think we may be going full speed ahead—but then again—I sometimes don't. Chad has tapered off on time with Maria (a girl he met) for more time with me. I like his company, too.
Current forecast: Best Friends.

"It has been said that the great events of the world take place in the BRAIN."
-Oscar Wilde
"The Picture of Dorian Gray"

Sagittarius and Gemini

"Humility is part of the learning process."
-The Dollhouse
Episode 4, Gray Hour

Twenty-five years ago today

November 17, 1985
Sunday

Mom called me in the morning.
"I just wanted to tell you I'll be at John's house…if you try to call."
"Oh, okay…thanks."

Lorraine Garcia was supposed to come by this weekend but I didn't hear from her at all. Then again I wasn't home either.
Chad and I woke up and ate brunch at The Whale's Tail. Karen Furtado, an old fellow high-school mate who was a year or two younger than I, was our waitress. We left after our meal and stopped by Mike Miller's house. He wasn't at home. We drove on and Suzy Miller coincidentally drove up beside me.
"Hey, where are you going?" I asked excitedly.
"I'm going to brunch at the Royal Pub."
I nodded, realizing it wasn't easy to continue the conversation.

Chad and I found our way to the South Shore Shopping Center where I bought two new journals. I bought one journal with an astrological SAGITTARIUS cover design (in honor of Chad's sign) and one with the GEMINI design (for my sign).
Chad announced proudly, "The Sagittarius journal should be ALL about me."
I laughed and said, "I think it will be."
We continued to discuss the idea of the possibility of vacationing next year in Florida at his grandparent's house. We laughed and cracked a few jokes about some of the people at our gym.
Chad said, "You know…I may be going to San Francisco State next year. It would be great if you could possibly room with me."
"Sounds like an idea," I replied, thinking that only time would tell. I was feeling comfortable around him and I'm glad we're spending time together.
 
We went to my house and kept changing out clothes to take a lot of different photos of one another. We took about forty-eight photos in all for possible picture postcards for Christmas. It's going to be fun to see them. We felt like fools taking them but it may have been worth it. After the photo shoot we went to La Val's Pizza and two fifteen-year old girls (Amy and Cindy) were trying to swoop (or flirt) with us.
One of the girls asked me, "Do you dye your hair?"
The other girl asked, "Are his muscles bigger than yours?"
I hated that question because his muscles ARE bigger than mine. I intend to lift more weights and work out hard on myself now. Determination! Yes, I will have to be determined.

We left La Val's and Chad did some homework. I filled out Job Transfer forms. It was peaceful. Then we watched a hostage flight-related film. Larry (Chad's roommate) came over from the Oakland Airport to pick up Chad. We matched lips with a good-bye.

I telephoned mom before I went to bed. I hadn't seen her for two weeks practically. I am sure she's wondering what I've been up to (I guess). I gave her a briefing on my weekend (even though not all of the details were disclosed, of course). I try to hold a good cover.

I slept. I dreamt. It's too bad Chad couldn't spend the night again like he said he wanted to do. He helped to straighten-up my pad before he left. Sweet guy…but he took my pale yellow rugby shirt (?). It's okay.


"I never make the same mistake twice."
-Baron de Varville (Henry Daniell)
to Marguarite Gautier (Greta Garbo)
in CAMILLE, 1936 film