Michael Joe Armijo's Blog, page 60

Searching for Reality

“In your 20’s you have to pursue your LIFE’s goals.”
-as heard in the 2010 film THE DEBT

Diary Notes/Photos June 22-28, 1988I’m still enjoying frequent telephone chatter with Amy L Platt.   She seems a bit bored in the Contra Costa Valley area and always seems ‘chipper and cheery’ whenever I happen to call.    We’ve gone out dancing a couple of times to Bobby McGee’s in Concord and Baxter’s in San Ramon. 

She gave me a few modeling photos that she had taken for some local boutique clothing store.   I liked them.   After I spend time with her I have fun but she gets a little bossy, argumentative and opinionated.   I’m not so sure I like that.   It must be from her New York upbringing.  Most California girls don’t act so headstrong.   A part of me likes it but then I find that I need a breather from her. PHOTO:  Amy Louise Platt, June 21, 1988I promised mom I would help paint the exterior of her house.  It has been an elf green (with white trim) for the longest time. “I agree, Mom, it’s time for a change.”
I suggested white with black trim.   She liked the idea.   I explained how I would accentuate the door with the black trim and she’s all FOR my creative plan.   I’m looking forward to doing the work for her.  It will be done by the end of this month.

June 27, 1988
I have some new postcards from Paloma.   She finds great cards for me.   This photo of three young stewardesses must have really caught her eye, knowing that she has wanted to be a flight-attendant for AIR FRANCE for so long.   On this card she wrote with encouragement about my doing more original painting on canvas.  I do enjoy the calm, creativity while I am holding a paint brush.  Paloma wrote:

...I’ve seen CHER has a perfume in the American COSMOPOLITAN magazine.  

You can do some more paintings.  They look really good.   You’ve always had such great taste (that’s why you liked me!).   Aren’t you glad we have each other to tell the other one once in a while how beautiful, smart and EVERYTHING we are? You didn’t tell me how and where you got the perfume samples.   Did you have to pay with your body?  I’m really happy.   That proves you think about me.   I miss you very much.  
Well, I have to go to bed.   I get up at 6:30AM now but I’ll write again soon.  You know that!   Write me a long, long letter.  
Love You, Paloma

Everyone is talking about Mike Tyson, the fighter who knocked out Michael Spink in ninety-one seconds in Atlantic City, NJ.  Ouch…I imagine Spink didn’t know what hit him.  
I also found an older letter from Paloma that I re-read.    She wrote it at the time that she initially met her husband, Alexandre, while they were working at CLUB MED.   She wrote:

….this is NOT the worse part.   Before that I’ve got to stand up on Alexandre’s shoulders with my arms up in the air.   Let me tell you that it’s pretty scary.   Alexandre is—I guess---about six feet two inches tall, plus we’re on a pretty high stage and we’ve got about one-thousand people watching us.   That’s a nightmare.   I’ve got to do it every two weeks.I knew you’d like the third photo I sent you.   I took it especially for you.

You’ve got no idea the things they make e do here.   My image is in bad shape!   My favorite part is when I do Donna Summer’s playback to MACARTHUR PARK:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lV1oafB3grM   That’s pretty funny.Talking about your last picture…was that an underwear commercial?  I thought that was a wrist watch commercial.
PHOTO:  Michael Joe Armijo
What happened with that girl named JOYCE?  Did you go out with her?  You start a story and then you don’t finish it.   Now you’re telling me about Sue…pretty confusing!   Take a break sometimes!

I won’t go to the States with CLUB MED since for the moment there is only one there in Copper Mountain, Colorado and I’m not very attracted by a mountain village.   I’d rather go to a beach but I could go to a village in what we call the American zone like Mexico, the Bahamas or places like that.   We (European staff) have to speak English very well to go to the American zone.   No problem for me, right?   DON’T YOU LAUGH!   The problem is that Alexandre doesn’t speak English, so I don’t think I’ll go for a while.   When he is Chief of SPORTS then maybe we’ll get to go.  CLUB MED already asked me if I wanted to go to Playa Blanca, Mexico next winter but I won’t without him.   My family is fine.   Thank you.   Except I heard my brother (Luis) and Bernadette are NOT together anymore.   I don’t exactly know what happened.   After ten years that’s pretty sad!

I think Reggie, Coco and ZonZon are in SPAIN these days and it is not very far from here.   I’m afraid they might show up one of these days with their Mohawk haircuts and stuff!   How do you think my boss is going to like it?  (HuH?  …as you would say).You said you’ve got no real ties.  You’ve got to be kidding.  What about the millions of dollars you owe your bank because of your credit cards?   Those are called chains.   Come on, Michael, I’m just kidding.

I showed your last picture to some of my friends who happened to be around when I got it.   They asked when you were coming.I would have loved to see you running the marathon with your ‘too small’ tennis shoes.   I bet that was something!   Michael, you are just too FUNNY…just thinking about you makes me smile!

How is your family?  I guess your niece is pretty big now.   You’re going to be able to date her pretty soon.   Are you still putting bows with glue on her head?Well, I better stop this letter now.   Keep sending me pictures.   I love it.  I will too.  I promise.  Hope to read you soon.   Love You, Paloma

After I read that I asked myself, "Who in the hell is JOYCE?"   I guess she was one of those quick introductions at a dance club that never amounted to much of anything.   Now fast-forward to recent times as I have received a scenic postcard from Paloma’s town of AGDE in the South of France with these latest words:
…a big hug from Jonathan to his Uncle Michael   I don’t think I could get along with a 22-year old boy.   My brother in law is twenty-one.   That IS really young!   I think he is really a lot of fun and he reminds me of lots of good memories but I couldn’t imagine having a date with him (even if I think he is really cute).  Maybe it’s different with him though.   They mature earlier.   I don’t know. 

I saw Didier in Paris.  He is getting a divorce.   That’s really too bad for their little boy.
Here is a view of my town.   I like it around her but not right now.   It is so crowded.  You can’t even imagine people from all over Europe and even the States come here.   Well, Michael, hope to read you soon!  Love Paloma
By the way…you look really good on your picture.  I know you were expecting that!

And so…reading old letters or new letters always make me homesick for the fun and laughter of Paloma and the feeling of France.   I suppose I can pick up the phone now and call Amy Platt; however, it’s not as exciting.   She has issues.  Or is it me that has them?  A part of me tends to see all of life’s experiences as a dream; however, there is more to life than just dreams.   I’m still searching for reality in everything.

“Should we be mindful of dreams?   Can we interpret them?” The Master looked into his eyes and said tersely, “We should be mindful of EVERYTHING, for we can interpret EVERTHING.”
-THE GLASS BEAD GAME, a novel by Hermann Hesse
(A General Introduction)

 

You Always Want What You Can't Have

'You didn't fall out of love with somebody just because of difficulties, life was complicated under any circumstances, but maybe they were fated to love each other and live apart, there were people like that...'
A WAY OF LIFE, LIKE ANY OTHER
by Darcy O’Brien

Diary Notes/Photos June 15-20, 1988
If I hear that song by Rick Astley again I think I’ll stop listening to my station for a month.  It’s called TOGETHER FOREVER:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPYZpwSpKmAJune 15, 1988

On a brighter note I am having fun again with the welcoming receipt of my ‘letters from Paloma’.   I love when she includes French magazine clipping inserts.   In her most recent letter she included a clip of Nastassja Kinski from a 1978 film called LA FILLE (also starring Marcello Mastroianni).   In Italy the title of the film is COSI COME SEI.   The American title is STAY AS YOU ARE.   I must see it ‘at some point’.  I always enjoy her recommendations in film.  This one is about a May-December romance (a much younger woman and an older man, then he learns that she might be his daughter!).  Now that sounds intriguing.   Paloma knows how to capture my attention.  I've always been so infatuated with Nastassja Kinski.   With this film I wonder if she’s warning me that I could someday find my daughter and ‘fall in love’ years from now and run into this situation.   I suppose anything is possible—but I honestly doubt it.   Most women aren’t after much older men…or are they?It’s ironic but now that Paloma is not around she is someone I’d rather be with right now.   It’s like that term ‘you always want what you can't have’.    There seems to be so much truth to this term.

June 18, 1988Mom was in Castro Valley at Tony’s house doing the grandmother babysitting duties.   I decided to ride my bike from Alameda to Castro Valley for a visit there.   It was a warm day and the non-stop pedaling would do me good.   Upon my arrival I laughed aloud when I saw Leigh in her crib.   She was surrounded by an overwhelming amount of stuffed animals.   It was super cute.

I managed to get my niece, Lauren, to laugh hysterically when I posed the Pee Wee Herman doll in the group photo.   It looked rather amusing. 

Soon Helen and Tony returned and I set off for my return bike ride to Alameda.   It feels so good to do the long-excursion cycling routine.Upon my return home I began re-reading parts of one of Paloma’s recent letters while drinking a tall glass of lemonade.   She wrote the following:

…there are two movies with CHER that come out over here about a month ago.   I remember them because I like that actress very much.   I find her really gorgeous.   Mostly, I watch TV now.   It’s kind of hard to go to a theater with a baby.   My parents are not around to babysit.   Alexandre’s parents sometimes do.   I told you they have a holiday house around here.   It is where we lived last year, so they would sometimes come for weekends and, of course, during the summertime.

This month on our local SHOWTIME they’re playing a movie with Nastassja Kinski.   It’s my favorite one.   I don’t know if you’ve seen it.   I don’t even know how it is called in the States.  It’s an Italian movie with Marcello Mastroianni called in French LA FILLE.   This might even be Nastassja’s first movie.   The story is about her falling in love with her father (she doesn’t know he is her father).   She is really sexy in this movie.  I like Jamie Lee Curtis a lot, too.I’ve never heard about the groups you are telling me about.   What kind of music is that?   I could pop into the Bay Area for a while like you mentioned.   In fact, I think about it very often.   I’m sure I could now go back to the States with no problem.  My problem now is the same you have…$$$$...if you know what I mean!   We are two and a half now…maybe someday though.

I’m going to have to stop writing pretty soon.   I could only write because Jonathan was talking a nap.  We live right next to a cathedral and the six o’clock mass plays all of the church bells that they’ve got which I really appreciate!   So Jonathan is now AWAKE, but still sleepy and in a very bad mood.   If you happen to hear that someone threw a bomb in the Agde Cathedral you’ll know who it was.PHOTO:  Agde Cathedral
Anyway, my father came to visit last week and he bought me some stuff from my old apartment in Paris.   I found most of your letters and I read almost all of them.   That makes for a lot of reading!   I don’t know if you’ve kept all of my writing.   That was really interesting…funny and sad.   I really felt something special though. Well Michael…I’ve got to stop writing now.  Hope to read you again soon. Love,  Paloma

CHER’s song, WE ALL SLEEP ALONE, is playing all over the Bay Area stations now.   When I hear it I think of Paloma.   They’re calling her the ‘Goddess of Pop’.   I don’t particularly like that song though.   It doesn’t really grab me.    I’m more into the groove of George Michael.“Man is on earth to create more durable and efficient images of himself, and hence, to eliminate any justification at all for his own continued existence.”
PLAYER PIANO by Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

 
 
 
 

'The Others'

“Things become understandable if you look at them in the right light.”
--THE GLASS BEAD GAME,
a novel by HERMANN HESSE
(Chapter: PREPARATIONS)

Diary Notes/Photos from June 8-12, 1988Now that the Kelly 'saga of love' seems to be at a close I’ve been thinking more about ‘the others’.   Who are they?   There is Anne Alberti (who is still ‘heavy into Jeff’, her aerobics instructor cohort with the tight pants and big bulge in the crotch area), Amy Louise Platt (who is still around but I’m not so sure about where we stand), Debbie Honcik (who is a former coworker when we were 411 operators—but does she ever think of me?), Judy Geniella (she’s divorced and has a pre-teen son and there’s the long-distance issue with her living up near Citrus Heights), Paloma (married and another long-distance situation in another country), etc.   Who knows who could be next?

PHOTO:  Michael J Armijo, Amy L Platt Shreve, Michael G Miller
Of course, I could also go out to one of my favorite dance clubs and hopefully meet someone new.   It’s hard to be a male wall flower in a nightclub.   It never seems to work out as a significant relationship.   I find that the ones I meet in different circumstances (other than a bar or nightclub) turn out to me much more meaningful.And so, I decided to call Amy Louise Platt in Lafayette.   She’ s still working as a nanny/registered nurse for that wealthy family.  She always goes on and an about Nantucket and her upbringing in the Hudson Valley area (somewhere in the Pocantico Hills area of New York).   It sounds like a nice place to visit and experience. 
PHOTO:  Princess Diana, 1988

Amy made me think of a former pen pal, Diane Spencer that I would write to religiously when I was age sixteen because there was a maturity about Diane that I sincerely liked.    Diane was twenty-three and I was sixteen.    Diane lived in Greenwich, Connecticut.  Whatever happened to her?   It’s funny because Princess of Wales was named ‘Diana Spencer’ before she married Prince Charles in England at age twenty-two on July 29 1981.  I screwed up my relationship with Diane Spencer when I wrote her during an evil Gemini twin moment and asked her, “Why on earth are you writing to me when you’re twenty-three and I’m only sixteen?”   I believe that hurt her feelings and our correspondence came to a sudden halt. 

Amy invited me over to Lafayette for a BBQ on this lazy summer Saturday, June 11, 1988.  “Is it okay if I invite my roommate, Mike Miller?”  I asked.“Sure, why not?”
PHOTO:  Amy Louise Platt and Mike Miller

I knew Mike wasn’t doing anything and I figured it would be a kindness gesture to invite him as well.   I didn’t want her to think I was solely focused on the idea of just “us” yet.   I wanted to feel her out.   I mean, I think she likes me but I am still uncertain about her because she acts so much older—not that it’s a bad thing.  She simply likes to be the guiding force and I'm not so sure I like that very much.“Hey Mike, do you want to go to a BBQ today with my friend Amy?”
Mike stretched and decided to hum and haw.
“Well, you don’t have to go.   I think it’s just us—but if you’re not doing anything it might be fun for a change of pace.
“No…no…it’s not that.  I just have all of this studying.  Heck…I’ll go.  I want to.”
“Okay, great.”  
PHOTO:  Amy Louise Platt Shreve
Amy is fun.   She was talking about her accomplishments in nursing while at the BBQ.   She mentioned her investment in JOHNSON & JOHNSON and felt so strongly about it.   I liked that she owns stock in that company and it made me jealous that I don’t own any of it.
The BBQ was fun.   I will call Amy again.   Mike and I had a good time and I really like Amy and that fact that she has a brain.   After the BBQ I dropped Mike Miller at home and then escaped to visit mom for a while.

June 12, 1988, SUNDAYIt was a perfect day for a bike ride.   I swiftly went for a ride and then returned home to shower and change.   I went to mom’s house, feeling happy that I had another day off before work started again tomorrow.

While in mom’s kitchen I asked mom to take a photo of me, holding a bottle of wine.    It was nice to spend the day with mom.   We were going to watch a movie when I looked out of the kitchen window.

“Oh no, mom…Nellie and Cecelia are HERE!”“Oh forget it.   We can forget the movie for a while.”
I laughed, “Maybe they won’t stay for very long.
My Aunt Nellie is my dad’s half-sister.   They had the same mother (Mathilde Garcia-Vigil).  My cousin Cecelia is the daughter of my dad’s other half-sister Esther Garcia.  
Cecelia said, “We were in the area, so we thought we’d stop by.”

Nellie, Cecelia and my mom talked up a storm.   They wanted to see how my mom was doing.   After all, my dad only passed away last August 1987.   It hasn’t been so long.   It was nice to see them and listen to them talk about family gossip.   Of course, I took a photo of the three of them (mom, Nellie and Cecelia) in my mom’s living room to mark the moment.PHOTO:  Nellie Vigil, Cecelia Markus, Virginia Armijo

On Tuesday, June 14, 1988, I received a welcome and thoughtful visit from Christine Hicks of San Ramon, CA.   We spoke of Kelly, of course.  Christine seemed sad about my break-up with Kelly.   “Is she sad?” I asked.

“Of course, Michael…It’s not easy for her either.”“Well, I’m moving on.   She’s made her decision.”

Each of us is merely one human being, merely an experiment, a way station.   But each of us should be on the way toward perfection, should be striving to reach the center, not the periphery.
--THE GLASS BEAD GAME, a novel by HERMANN HESSE (Chapter:  THE CALL)
 
 

A Cool Connection

He that plants a tree loves others besides himself.
-Thomas Fuller
(imprinted on a card that Barbara Louise Reynolds sent to me)

Diary Notes early June 1988

I found a way to ‘move forward’.   A new summer was about to begin and I had my bike.   The riding released any anxiety I may have had left.   I was fixated on fitness.   The burst of energy exhilarated me to reach a new horizon.I had many interests.   I asked myself, “Who could I call?”
I chose to call Amy Louise Platt.   She was still living in Lafayette as a Registered Nurse/Nanny and was very pleased to hear from me.   We have a BBQ outing planned soon.   I thought to call Anne Alberti but she’s too ‘Heavy into Jeff’.   I see her at the gym and she is still preoccupied (or so it seems).
Photo:  Amy Louise Platt-Shreve, 1988

There is a friend I met in Los Angeles named John Tuzziano who will be visiting the Bay Area later this month.  I am looking forward to showing them around.  I want to take them to Berkeley.

PHOTO:  John Tuzziano
Hanging-out with mom has been inspiring, too.   She knew that Kelly and I had broken-up.   I didn’t offer any details.  She didn’t pry and it was all so matter-of-fact.
“Yeah,” I announced suddenly, “Kelly and I broke up.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah…it’s time to move on to greener pastures.   She’s too young.”
Mom laughed.   Perhaps she saw it as wisdom.

I watched the 007 film, THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS, with mom.   It came out last year and I really feel a cool connection with the new James Bond (Timothy Dalton).   I like him. I set up a new telephone service installation at work for a modeling/acting school in San Francisco.   I may call them for an appointment.  

The girl I spoke with said, “I can make sure you get a good deal for the next session.   Come on in!   A fashion show will be held in The City in December and you could get ‘call backs’ from agencies.”I figured…nothing ventured is nothing gained.   It could be fun.  I could meet some new people.

A young man is still a boy, and a boy sometimes has the right to be stubborn.   What he needed was a series of new projects. -Markus Zusak, THE BOOK THIEF

 

One More Try

“You did not think this could go on forever?" She asked with surprise.   He tried to clear his head, to answer articulately, but he knew the answer would make no sense, for part of him had expected it to go on forever.”
"C’est vrai, mon cheri.  C’est las vie.” 
And it was OVER.
–Paul Huljich,
Betrayal of Love and Freedom, a novel

Diary notes late May 1988I feel numb.   I finally received the answers I needed.   Kelly was still avoiding me, not answering my calls.   I knew the provider of the answers would be her best-friend, Christine Hicks.

While on my lunch hour at Pacific Bell in San Francisco I called Christine.   She answered sympathetically.PHOTO:  Christine Hicks “Hello?”
“Hi, It’s Michael.”
“Oh…Hi, how are you?”
“Well, I’m a little disturbed right now.  It seems like Kelly is just avoiding me.   I don’t understand why.  You must know the scoop.”
There was a slight hesitation.“Oh Michael…I don’t feel comfortable talking to you about this.”
“Why not?”

“I just think Kelly should tell you.”
“Tell me what…Come on.   Just say it!”
“Well, do you remember that time Kelly stayed at your house last week?”
“Yes.”
“You left her alone there for a few hours while you went to your mom’s or something.”
“Yeah…and…”
“She found your journals…or some letters and read about you.”

I was silent.   I was irritated.  I felt invaded.   I knew what had happened.   She read about my relationship with Christopher or Chad or George.   I didn’t say a word for what seemed like minutes as my brain rushed with circulation with so many questions until I finally heard myself ask Cwissy, “What EXACTLY did she read?”"I’m not sure…but it was about you and another guy.   I know that much.”
“Oh Man.   Why couldn’t she talk to me about this?   Doesn’t she know that I love her and none of that matters?”
“She can’t handle it, Michael.   She asked her sister and her parents, too, I think.   I know they told her to say far away from you.”
“Give me a break.   I guess I am evil…is that it?”
“I don’t know what else to say, Michael.”
“Okay, at least NOW…I know.”

I hung up the phone and had the shivers.   I took control of myself, realizing that I was still at work.   It was good that I was at work.   I had things to do in order to keep my mind away from all of it.  That is…until I left the office and drove over the Oakland-Bay Bridge and turned on the radio.   A song was playing that literally made me cry ‘out loud’.   It was by George Michael.   It’s called ONE MORE TRY.   I didn’t care if anyone saw me driving with tears running down my face.   The lyrics just hit me in all of the wrong places.   She let me go…Once again…a relationship has failed for me.   Good-bye.

ONE MORE TRYlyricsby George MichaelI've had enough of danger and people on the streets
I'm looking out for angels, just trying to find some peace
I think it's time that you let me know
So if you love me, say you love me
But if you don't just let me go
'Cause teacher, there are things that I don't want to learn
And the last one I had made me cry
So I don't want to learn to hold you
Touch you, think that you're mine
Because it ain't no joy for an uptown boy
Whose teacher has told him goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
When you were just a stranger and I was at your feet
I didn't feel the danger, now I feel the heat
That look in your eyes, telling me no
So you think that you love me, know that you need me
I wrote the song, I know it's wrong, just let me go
And teacher, there are things that I don't want to learn
Oh the last one I had made me cry

So I don't want to learn to hold you
Touch you, think that you're mine
Because it ain't no joy for an uptown boy
Whose teacher has told him goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
So when you say that you need me
That you'll never leave me
I know you're wrong, you're not that strong
Let me go
And teacher, there are things that I still have to learn
But the one thing I have is my pride
Oh so I don't want to learn to hold you
Touch you, think that you're mine
Because there ain't no joy for an uptown boy
Who just isn't willing to try
I'm so cold
Inside
Maybe just one more try...

Who cared anyway, he consoled himself.   He didn’t need her.  He didn’t need any of them.  He could make it on his own—he had proved that much.   He didn’t require anyone’s assistance in making a success of his life.-Paul Huljich
Betrayal of Love and Freedom, a novel

I Need Answers

He sat down and carefully, very softly, played a movement from the Purcell sonata.   The notes fell into the stillness like drops of golden light, so softly that along with them the song of the old fountain in the yard could be heard.   Gently, austerely, sparingly, sweetly, the lovely separate voices met and mingled; bravely and gaily they paced their tender rondo through the void of time and transitoriness, for a little while making the room and the night hour vast as the universe.   And when the friends bade each other good night, the guest’s face had changed and brightened, although his eyes had filled with tears. 
-From THE GLASS BEAD GAME,
a novel by HERMANN HESSE

Diary Notes/Photos May 22-28, 1988 May 22, 1988
It was almost Memorial Day and mom suggested we visit the Holy Sepulchre Cemetery where my dad is buried.  
I agreed.  “It’s a good idea to go now instead of on Memorial Day when everybody is crowding the place.   Let’s go!”

Tony, Helen and the girls had been over for a visit.   They left for home in Castro Valley and Ashley was dropped off by Sherri.   The three of us left for the cemetery outing.   I drove to Hayward and arrived quickly and easily.   I sometimes forget which direction to turn on Mission Boulevard but I happened to get it right this time.Mom manicures the area around Dad’s gravesite so sensitively.  
“I can’t believe you’re cleaning up everything…even the gravesites next to him,” I remarked.
“I bet no one would do this like me.”
“That’s for sure.”  
I got Ashley to pose with the flowers.   She was running around like this was a playground.   It was all quite amusing.   In a way, it’s nice to visit the cemetery and celebrate a life versus always feeling such sadness about it.   If it weren’t for Dad (and Mom) I wouldn’t be HERE…after all.   Mom posed by Dad’s gravestone—even if she did find it silly that I’d take a picture.  She liked the photo after she looked at it.  She posed with Ashley.   I posed with Ashley and mom was agreeable about taking the picture. We returned home to mom’s house in Alameda and John came by to pick-up Ashley.  He brought along his new prize (Holly) and I snapped a father/daughter photo.  

I lounged for a while and kept my mom company.   We watched a movie and then I headed home, realizing I had another few days of work ahead of me until my grand Birthday weekend.

May 26, 1988,
My 29th Birthday…
I received a postcard from MALAGA, SPAIN.   It was from Paloma, of course.   She also sent me another fabulous T-shirt.  On the back of the postcard she wrote: 
HAPPY BIRTHDAY Michael!
I’m so sorry I’m doing this so late.   Will you ever forgive me?   I thought about you and my stepmother that day but I just haven’t had time to write to any of you.   Sorry about the card, too.   Love…

She included a separated note:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!  Just a few words, I want this card to reach you on time.   I just want you to know that I will be thinking about you all day on the 26th and that I really wish I could be with you.   I hope this T-shirt fits you and that you like it.   I thought it would look nice with your hair color. Alex and Jonathan wish you a Happy Birthday, too…
Miss You, Love, Paloma—

Another Birthday card I received was from my maternal Grandmother, Mary Genevieve Leyba-Lucero.    I love how she finds these cards that are more appropriate for a ‘little boy’.   I suppose she will always see me that way.   I love it.   The imprint inside of the card read:A grandson who’s as nice as you and dear as he can be brings so much pride and happiness to all the family.  That’s why this special message brings a lot of love to you and wishes for the very best in everything you do.   HOPE YOU HAVE A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

She wrote:Dear Grandson Michael,
Thanks for the pretty scarf you sent.   I have the collection you have sent me.   Very pretty scarves…I love you.   Grandma

It’s always nice to feel the LOVE on your Birthday. 

I was quite impressed by another admirer who sent me ‘3’ Birthday Cards.   No, it wasn’t Kelly.   It was Jeff ‘Sombat’ Sukjit in Honolulu.   Remember him?   I photographed him here back in July 1987 at his Hawaii apartment:   


Card #1 was amusing with an obese black woman pictured and the imprint inside read:   WEATHER IS HERE, WISH YOU WERE BEAUTIFUL.  
Jeff wrote in his own personal words:

Hi Big ‘M’, Happy B-Day.   Hope you have a great one.   This one may be getting to you late but I wanted you to have it.   Hope you like it and here are some pictures from the party.   Stephen got this card and said to send it to you.   I think it’s stupid but that’s my thinking.

Oh well…see you soon on the big bang…and THANKS for the B-Day card that you sent me. Miss You, Jeff

Card #2 depicted a teddy bear on a hammock in a tropical setting and the imprint inside read:BIRTHDAYS ARE SOMETHING YOU HAVE TO SLOWLY EASE IN TO!

Jeff wrote:Didn’t know what card to give you…You deserve both!  Have a nice B-Day and have FUN, O.K.?   See Ya Soon.

…Just a reminder of sunshine.   Get here for some Hawaii sun.  Happy Happy B-Day to you. Thinking 28…Miss You, Jeff

Card #3 depicted a bunch of teddy bears in a vase of daisies and the imprint inside read:FRIENDSHIP LIKE OURS GROWS BETTER EVERYDAY!

Jeff wrote:ALOHA!
Cute card, yea?   I think I went BEAR crazy on you but it was cute.   So…here are some pictures of the view and a little exercise bear to go along with it!
Miss You…Jeff

Fast-Forward JANUARY 2014… 
Sadly, I learned from our mutual friend (Karla Fennimore) that Jeff is now deceased.   Jeff was born May 17, 1964 and died at the age of 28 on February 16, 1993 of AIDS related causes.  He was also known as Jeff Sukjit and Jeff Berger.   Karla had said that Jeff had told friends that he had a blood transfusion at a younger age; however, whatever the circumstances it is a very sad loss for many.   Here is a photo of Jeff while he worked at THE WAVE in Waikiki in late 1980’s that I found on a FaceBook Page for 'Past Employees of the WAVE Waikiki 1980-2006':

May 28, 1988It was Memorial Day weekend and ‘Jim from the Gym’ and I decided to escape the Bay Area for the Old Town area of Sacramento.   I was somewhat familiar, having gone to Sacramento State.   My former coworker, Judy Geniella, met us for a drink and I snapped a photo of Jim and Judy:

Jim and I had a blast.   He needed some space from Christine.   I was at a rock and a hard place with Kelly.   There were so many unanswered questions.  I was still head-over-heels over Kelly but I wasn’t seeing her as much as I would’ve liked.  
And so…Jim and I decided to check out the scene.    Something had happened.   I wasn’t quite sure…but I knew I would find out soon.   For now, I met a replacement gal for the night.   She was blond and I knew Paloma would resent that for she always thought I had liked her blond friend, Monica, when we first met.   I always told Paloma, “NO, it was your green eyes that captured me!”

Alas, now I find a blond tonight.   I certainly will not tell Paloma about this.   That’s for sure.   Anyhow, she lives in Sacramento and I think our distance from each other will not allow us to amount to anything.   I need answers about Kelly.   Why isn’t she returning my calls?    It’s frustrating.    What has Kelly in such a spellbound mood?“Did it ever occur to you that MOOD spelled backward is DOOM?”
-Elizabeth Savage
THE LAST NIGHT AT THE RITZ

Come And Go As You Wish

“You can’t know what’s going to happen before it happens.”
“Yes, I can,” he said.  “If I’m any good I can.”
-Garth Stein
THE ART OF RACING IN THE RAIN,
a novel

Diary Notes/Photos  May 8-13, 1988May 8, 1988
It is Ashley’s 4th Birthday today.   Sherri organized a party at her house on Cook Lane.   I arrived with mom with enough presents for Ashley to feel content.   Mom brought her share of gifts, too.   Ashley was dressed in a cute ‘little girly’ dress with her hair all curled.
It was another festive family time.   Ashley was gathered around all of her gift-wrapped presents.   My brother, Tony, and sister-in-law, Helen, arrived with Lauren and Leigh.  

It was cute with the two new babies around (Holly and Leigh).  They were both so good.   We just put them on the couch and they seemed to amuse themselves.  Lauren was amused and happy with her very own Cabbage Patch doll.  

I kept snapping more family photos.   There were a couple of celebrations today.   It was also MOTHER’s Day.   I took a photo of mom with my brother, John.
After Ashley’s birthday festivities I accompanied mom to her house.   Tony, Helen and the girls followed suit.   Ashley was too entertained with all of her gifts that she wanted to stay home and play with her latest toys. 

I took a photo of Tony with Mom also.   Tony was munching on a chocolate croissant with milk.   He’s always eating something but he always seems to remain very fit.  
Mom was happy.   She had her new living room furniture delivered recently and I took a photo of her on her favorite chair.
Earlier this morning I wrote out a Mother’s Day card.   I found a good card at WALGREENS with a picture of three chimpanzees. I wrote on the card:

Dear Mom, 
Happy Mother’s Day.   If it’s not one holiday it’s another.   At least today is Ashley’s 4th Birthday and we can kill two birds with one stone.  
I thought you’d get a kick out of this chimpanzee card.   It reminded me of you and dad and me when we used to ‘monkey around’ together at 356 Magnolia Drive, Mexicali Rose Restaurant or ‘wherever’.   I thought I’d be different instead of sending the usual “flowery” Mother’s Day card.   Besides, these are more fun.   Don’t you agree? I LOVE YOU and mushy-mushy, kissy-kissy and all of that.   I have to get all of that stuff out of the way, too.   It’s no trouble for you.   You really are my best-friend and I do LOVE YOU.   I’m glad you’re alone in your house now because I can bug you whenever I want without interrupting another family (referring to the fact that Tony, Helen and kids as they were living with her until their new house was ready). 

Your house is looking so beautiful, too.   I am envious.  Maybe we can think about a new black carpet and new tile in my house now.   I know I better wait until I get into Telephone Sales and/or become a psychologist when I can afford it.
Once again, I love you because you’re THE BEST.   How did I end up with such a beautiful MOM?   That’s for being there all of the time!   Don’t forget…Las Vegas is set for November 1988.

Love, Michael

The song of the week was by Gloria Estefan called ANYTHING FOR YOU.  A few days later I received correspondence from Honolulu.   It was a surprise postcard postmarked May 13, 1988 from Bill Matson.    Does he think about me?   I had forgotten all about him.    I had written him about my NOT going to Mexico as previously planned and how my girlfriend, Kelly, pulled a week long escape from me to San Diego to visit her brother.   I didn’t really think he’d write back.   I was happy that he did.

Bill’s postcard did make me laugh.   The card depicted a guy sleeping with a hand pouring eye-drops onto his eyelids   The copy read:

…AND FINALLY ONE NIGHT, IN A LOVER’S RAGE, TERRY QUIETLY GLUED MIKE’S EYES SHUT WITH SEVERAL DROPS OF SUPER GLUE.  HER TASK COMPLETED, SHE CREPT TO THE DOOR—PAUSED FOR A MOMENT—THEN YELLED, “FIRE”Bill wrote:  Well, when it rains it pours.  No Kelly and no Mexico in the same week—Ouch.   
You’re always welcome to come to Hawaii.   The apartment is small (studio) but you’ll have your own sofa bed (beats the floor) and set of keys—come and go as you wish.   I’m here until June 1st, then back to California (Elk).   I also understand that you probably want to take off and spend time alone.   But…Doug did cut his hair!  Ha—Take Care, Bill.

I was happy to know that I had the option to just up and go to Hawaii.   I had to work though.   It wasn’t as easy as all of that.   It made me want to go to Hawaii again though.  I love that tropical feeling.   I also liked that feeling of knowing that 'Kelly and I' were together.   We talked often and kept looking forward to the next time we'd see one another.   One of our many songs was playing:  DANCE AWAY by Roxy Music  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ur2_y9abMWk“You have to work for what you want in this LIFE.”   The words sounded trite and old-fashioned , yet he knew instinctively that they were true.   “The mark of a man is not what he has, but what he is, inside.” 
-Paul Huljich, BETRAYAL of Love and Freedom, a novel

Do You LOVE Her?

"Finding Love makes it worth the pain of searching for it."
-Terry O’Quinn in character as ‘Gavin Doran’
in the 2012 TV series “666 Park Avenue”

Diary/Photo Note from April 28-May 6, 1988The Depeche Mode “Music for the Masses Tour” on April 28, 1988 was a memorable event.   I recall arriving early and sitting outside of the stadium as we ‘people watched’ the alternative music fanatics.   I loved that OMD (Orchestral Maneuvers in the Dark) were playing with Depeche Mode.   This was a 1987/1988 concert tour by in support of the English band's sixth studio album (Music for the Masses) which was released in September 1987.    Jim from the Gym, Christine Hicks, Kelly and I were all so ‘INTO’ this music.  This was the second time the band had traveled behind the Iron Curtain.

The tour began in October 1987 with a European leg, starting in Madrid, SPAIN, finishing mid-November in Paris, France.  In early December 1987, a North American run commenced in San Francisco and culminated three weeks later in New York City.  In January 1988, the group played an eleven-date U.K. tour, which was followed by further dates in Europe beginning in Hamburg, West Germany in early February. The leg wrapped up in Vienna, Austria in late March. In April 1988, the group played four dates in Japan. This was followed later in the month by the start of a second North American leg, which began in Mountain View, California on April 28, 1988.  
The entire tour concluded mid-June with a concert at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena, California.   The Rose Bowl show was recorded and later released as a live album and video release entitled 101, issued in March 1989. The video included footage documenting the second North American leg of the tour and was re-released on DVD in 2003.

A few days after the concert I was blessed by a surprise visit from Christine and Kelly.    They came to my pad and I could tell they wanted to re-live the concert festivities.   We played music and I set my Polaroid for a group photo.  They make me laugh.   We have such a good time.   Only ‘Jim from the Gym’ was missing.  The four of us were too "Alternative Rockin' 80's Hip" for words. On the correspondence front I received another letter from Paloma, dated May 6, 1988.    Paloma wrote:

Agde, France
Dear Michael,
I just got your card and your letter.   Thank you.

I could swear under torture that your Nastassja Kinski poster was in your living room.   That’s really weird.   I guess we’re just getting old.   Enjoy this birthday coming up.   That’s your last one starting with a ‘2’.   Don’t I make you feel good?   Or maybe that’s just because you were my only interest when I was in your house. Jonathan’s name is JONATHAN and not JONATHON, so please pay attention.   This is the last warning before you get in trouble!

I really hope my downstairs neighbor wont’ keep you busy for a few days.   I don’t think I would love that! I haven’t seen FATAL ATTRACTION with Glenn Close because maybe you don’t know but this movie is a remake of a movie that made Clint Eastwood (he played in it, too).   I loved it and nobody even mentioned it over here.   Did you know?   Have you seen the first one?

Thank you, Michael.   I’ve known DEPECHE MODE for years and OMD, too.   I just remind you that I don’t live in the Sahara!  Just kidding!

Funny the name they gave to that restaurant (PALOMA).  
Maybe that’s just an old admirer of mine.   You never know.   And don’t tell me “You’re dreaming!”   What do you mean, “Do I believe it?”   Of course, I do.   I am just now waiting for some Paloma statue…or something simple like that.

Talking about marriage…   Well, if you want my opinion I think you should think about it.   You haven’t known her (KELLY) for that long.   Why don’t you try to live with her first?   That’s the best way to find out if it’s going to work. Also, do you really like her OR do you LOVE her?   That’s different.   Anyway, you know how I feel about marriage.   I think that it is no big deal.   It’s just a piece of paper…after all.   So…if you feel like doing it just give it a try and ask her.

I’ve done worse.   It’s just been two years since I met Alexandre (in March) and Jonathan is going to be one year old in June.   If you think how long it took me to make him that means I didn’t think about it for very long.   And…things are working pretty well.   Believe it or not, it is really rare when I even notice a gorgeous guy in the street.   I am not interested. But tell me…Why do you want to marry so fast?   Why don’t you live with her (KELLY)? 

By the way, once more…CONGRATULATIONS for your new niece (HOLLY).   You’re just like Uncle Donald now.   That’s great.   Pretty soon you’ll be able to go out with them (that was a mean joke!). Well Michael…I’ll write again for your Birthday.   Hope to read you soon.  
Love, Paloma

This is really an ugly letter.   Sorry about it.  I wrote it really fast.   Here are two pictures of Jonathan so you can see what he looks like now.  One with his father so you can see that all his beauty comes from his mother!   Alexandre won’t read this letter!  'Maybe we were fated never to do anything, because knowing it would be so perfect was too much to bear. Maybe the thing to do was to wait for years, until we were both grown up and completely experienced and married, and then meet each other by chance. It was too dreamy to imagine.' 
-Darcy O’Brien, A WAY OF LIFE, LIKE ANY OTHER

Scoping the Scene

"Reality is NOT a French novel." -as heard in the 1984 Argentine film, CAMILA   
Diary Notes/Photos from April 22-28, 1988

I took every advantage of my mom’s babysitting time.  I wanted to join in on the fun and spend time with my nieces, too.   I had fun playing with them when my mom pooped out from their energetic ways.   I probably went a bit overboard on Friday, April 22, 1988 when I persuaded them to get on the rocking horse with me (as I set the timer to my Polaroid camera).   Well, I figured the photographic moment would last many years later.  

On Saturday, April 23, 1988 my mom came to my townhouse and I had a brainstorm idea.“Uh oh, I haven’t taken a photo today.   Why don’t you take a picture of me on Mike’s motorcycle?”  I asked my mom.

“Okay,” mom replied in agreement.Mike Miller had bought a motorcycle.   He didn’t ride it all the time but he seemed to get a good deal on the purchase.   I’d never ride it on the streets but I figured I could pose on it and ‘pretend’.   Mom took a good shot of me ‘looking tough’.

“Hey wait, mom…let me take a picture of you on the bike!”“Eeeee…don’t be silly.”

And before I knew it she was complying with my request. “Who knows when you’ll ever be on a motorcycle again?”
She laughed.   It was a cute photo.After mom left I took a photo of myself upstairs because Paloma wanted a recent photo.   I wasn’t so sure I liked the photo.   I’ll have to dwell on it for a few days.

Later that evening Jim from the Gym came by as we were planning to go out to a club or something.   Mike Miller was there and we shared a few LITE beers.   It was important to maintain our 32 inch waistlines.   That’s why we only drank LITE beer.   We had 'beer belly' fears.  The alcohol content still did the trick.   We laughed up a storm.  I managed to capture the three of us via Polaroid before the beers.  Jim and I were excited about the forthcoming date of April 29th.   We were going to a concert at the Shoreline Amphitheater.  It was the MUSIC FOR THE MASSES Concert.   I snapped another Polaroid of 'Mike and Jim'.  It was clear that the beer was beginning to circulate. I don’t recall where Mike, me and Jim ended up going that night which proves the LITE beer alcohol content worked.    We always had a good time ‘scoping the scene’. 

And yes, the final photo clearly showed the effects of our beer alcohol content.  Mike's 'sunglasses at night' said it all.
The next day I took a picture of Mike Miller on his motorcycle.   He clearly looked more comfortable on the bike than I did (or my mom for that matter).   He even started the engine.   To look at the photo I wish one could hear the sound effects of the revved up engine.   Vroom.   Mike went for a short ride.   What a show-off!
It was a lazy Sunday on April 24, 1988.   I drove to San Ramon to pick-up Kelly.  

I drove back to Alameda and Jim from the Gym was due to arrive with Christine Hicks.   Mike Miller was there, too, cracking his salty jokes.   My mom even showed up and had a beer with all of us.   How cool of 'a mom' is that?   We were just laughing, having a great time.  I was just happy that I had enough MICHELOB LIGHT beers in my fridge.   I called them MICHAEL-Lobe Lights.

Kelly was leaving tomorrow to visit her brother (in San Diego), so it was nice that we all got together.

Kelly knew that Paloma wrote to me, so she made good on her word to drop me a postcard during her mini-escape.   It was not the most in-depth write-up but it’s the thought that counts.   She mailed the postcard from San Diego on April 25, 1988.Kelly wrote:
Hey Mike,
What’s up?  The weather has been so-so.   One minute rain, the clouds move past the sun and then it’s HOT.   But I’m having a great time w/my brother, Tim.   How was your weekend?  
See ya,
Kelly

Hmmm…not even a
‘LOVE, Kelly’ or
‘I MISS YOU SO MUCH’. 
Oh well…I can’t win them all.   After all, the song of the week was WHERE DO BROKEN HEARTS GO by Whitney Houston.  I decided to be more optimistic though.  She'll be back.

A few days later on April 28, 1988 I chose to write a more in-depth letter.   I decided to write to Paloma in France.  She had previously sent me a copy of a letter from her Berkeley friend, Carmela.Carmela wrote:
Paloma,
Yet another bit of news before I send this letter.  I just joined a new GOLD’s GYM in Albany.   They evaluate you and give you a computerized workout.    Every four weeks they evaluate you and give you a new workout.   I think my arms are getting much better.   Guess who I met there?  Mike, that blond bodybuilder you went out with.   His mom teaches aerobics and family fitness.   He is the manager at GOLD’s.   I also saw Rodney.  He works out there now.  He’s bigger, not as slender.  He works out really HARD now!   They both say “HI”.   Mike was saying what a great body you have! 
Jimmy just got a new Polaroid camera.   I want to take a picture of me flexed and cut.   I’ll send you some soon.
Love, Carmela
(Maria says “HI” too from the I-BEAM).

Paloma added a NOTE to me at the bottom of Carmela’s letter: MIKE SOUTHWICK, remember?   The Baxter’s Champion Bodybuilder.  I told you I went out with him, right?   Ooops…maybe I forgot (LOL!). Was I jealous?  Yes.   I knew she went out with that MIKE Bodybuilder dude!    Grr….I'll show her.   She gives me the incentive to try harder with my workouts.  She knows it, too.

I was overdue on a reply to Paloma after she’d send that cool card with the high-heel on the bike pedal.PHOTO:  Paloma in Marbella, SPAIN (1986)

April 28, 1988, Dear Paloma,
I love the card with the pump on the bicycle pedal.   It’s great.  You definitely know my taste.

My Nastassia Kinski has always been over my bed.   But that’s okay…we (unfortunately) did NOT spend a whole lot of time under it…if you catch my drift. Well, next trip to France I’ll have to see Jonathan, Alexandre, your neighbor downstairs and your perfume collection.   That ought to keep me busy for a few days.  

I watched the Academy Awards, too.   I watched it the night I received the card from you in which you were mentioning CHER (ironically and coincidentally enough).   And to think she was the BEST ACTRESS for 1j987.   She deserved it.   I thought Glenn Close was going to win.   Did you see her in FATAL ATTRACTION?   She was really good. Tomorrow I am going to a concert in Mountain View with Kelly, Mike Miller, Jim from the Gym and Chris Hicks (Kelly’s girlfriend).   Cathy (Kelly’s sister) and Cara (Cathy’s roommate) and Mike (Cara’s boyfriend) will also be attending.   We are going to see DEPECHE MODE and OMD (Orchestral Maneuvers in the Dark).   I can’t wait for that.  It will be fun.   They play modern music in case you haven’t heard of them.   It’s very NOUVEAU…as they say….

I should be biking right NOW but I figured ‘what the hell’.  Why should I?   I decided I should write you a few lines instead. I have a picture to send you but the duplicate I had made isn’t quite ready yet.   So you will have to hold out until next time.

There was a Yellow Pages Directory Sales job opening in Sacramento.   I applied for it just so I could take the test and be ready for the next hopeful opening in San Francisco, Oakland or Santa Clara.   Now people are saying I should take it because it is possible for me to commute to Sacramento!   That is a one and a half hour commute!   I certainly don’t want to be on that road for three hours or more going to and from work every day.   No way.  Forget it!   I think writing it down just now made me decide against it. I miss your smile and laughter.   Don’t dye your hair black…then you WILL look like CHER!   BE PALOMA!   By the way, there’s a new restaurant on University Avenue in Berkeley called PALOMA’s.   Do you believe it?   I guess the whole town of Berkeley noticed you were gone and decided to establish a restaurant in honor of you!

"Your eyes will suffice to give tired men hope."
-India guy to actress, Natalie Portman,
as heard in the 2008 film, I LOVE YOU, NEW YORK


 




 

If Looks Could Kill

How do you know when something has gone wrong with someone whom you like with all your heart?  Let me count the ways. –Elizabeth Savage, THE LAST NIGHT AT THE RITZ Diary Notes/Photos April 14-21, 1988 I received another bit of correspondence from Paloma.   There was no artful card this time.  It was ‘just’ a letter but as interesting as always.  She paints pictures with her words: AGDE, France 14, AVRIL, 1988, Dear Michael, Thanks for your card.   I like to get mail, especially from you.   Today was a really good day for that.   I got a bunch of good news and some samples from a friend in ITALY and from my Dad from SPAIN.   Too bad you didn’t get to see my collection of perfume bottles when you came to PARIS.   It’s pretty amazing.   I started it more than ten years ago.   You’ll just have to come back! You’d like to come if you could see my downstairs neighbor.   Guys find her very attractive.   I think she’s “just all right” because I don’t like her.   She has a black belt in Karate.   You would not believe it.  She is blond and really thin.   She lives with her gorgeous boyfriend.   He works a lot (most evenings and obviously she is NOT faithful).   We’ve caught her many times with a friend of ours who is a real heartbreaker.   She is a bad girl.   This is the latest news from 10, Rue Jean Roger.   I know she’d like you.   I don’t know if I’d like you to go out with her though.  I can’t stand her. Yesterday, I thought about you.   I watched TV the best parts of the Academy Awards.   I saw one of the movies with CHER that I was telling you about (MOONSTRUCK).   I think that’s the English Title.  In France it is called “ECLAIRE DE LUNE”.   Isn’t that funny how it won most of the Awards?   I really like CHER.   The Academy Awards are such a show just to watch CHER.   I also like Daryl Hannah, Jack Nicholson and Michael Douglas.   Aren’t you happy to know who I like or NOT?   I’m just wishing for Michael Armijo to win an Oscar.   You can just say something simple like, “I just want to thank my best-friend, Paloma” or anything like that! Oh well…another interesting letter from you… Have you seen “MOONSTRUCK”?   Did you like it?   I want to see it.   I am thinking about changing the color of my hair to black like CHER.   I have done it before and it looked pretty good.   I don’t know. So…is it a girl or a boy?   I am talking about Sherri’s baby, of course. If you come over here you won’t believe French TV.   There are lots of naked people.   You’d never see that in the States.   Every time I see GEORGE MICHAEL I think about you.   It’s true.  YOU look like him a little bit. Well, Michael, I hope to read you soon. Love, Paloma A big hug from Jonathan. *One last thing about perfume samples.   I don’t collect little tubes like this.   They’re all the same.   I collect the little bottles that have the shape of the big ones.  Here are two samples you can only find in the States: “OBSESSION” by Calvin Klein “CATHERINE DENEUVE” …this French actress has made a perfume but it doesn’t exist over here.   I don’t know why!  Too bad I forgot about my collection while I was living in Berkeley.  I just came back with one.   I don’t know why I’m writing you tonight.   I just felt like it.  I guess I miss you.  I wish we could have those long phone conversations.Write me…CIAO.SUNDAY, April 17, 1988 Mom was babysitting Lauren and she dropped by for a while.  I managed to pull off a Polaroid shot of us. Earlier in the morning I caught Mike Miller in the kitchen next to a box of Entenmann’s pastries.   He was holding a sheet of paper about HIGHWAY NAVIGATION.   I liked his blue shirt.  It’s true.  Blue is my favorite color.  The sky is the limit. PHOTO:  Michael G Miller I was happy that Mike had plans because Kelly was coming over to hang out with me.   We watched a movie on the VCR and just lounged comfortably at my pad.   I took a couple of Polaroid shots of ‘us’.   I thought about sending one to Paloma as she was curious as to what Kelly looked like.   I may send her one.  Or maybe not…should I? 
We went for a drive to Harbor Bay Landing to the Ice-Cream Dock.   That song that they keep playing by Billy Ocean keeps playing.   It’s called “GET OUTTA MY DREAMS, GET INTO MY CAR”.   The tune played as we drove back to my house.   Did it have a hidden meaning for us?    She did get into my car.  However, why would I want her out of my dreams? 
On Tuesday, April 19, 1988, I had the day off.   Mom had the day off as well, so we took a drive to visit my grandmother (mom’s mom).   Ashley accompanied us.   I loved the photo I took of them before we embarked on the mini-adventure.   It's one of my favorite photographs of the two of them together.  My convertible top was down and the wind was blowing.   Mom didn’t look at the camera but Ashley had that look.   If looks could kill…  I’m sure Ashley had just about had it with me and my camera.  Ha-ha. “The gentleness IS in the strength.” -as heard in the 2009 film THE MEN WHO STARE AT GOATS