Paul Garrigan's Blog, page 43

Spiritual Enlightenment – the Damndest Thing by Jed McKenna

Jed McKenna claims to be enlightened and he talks about his views on this state in his book Spiritual Enlightenment – the damndest thing. When I first read this a couple of years ago it challenged some of my beliefs and opinions. I’ve gone back and looked at it again recently, and the claims he makes no longer sound quite that earth shattering. After the first reading I came to the conclusion that the person who wrote it was probably enlightened, but now I’m not so sure. The one thing that hasn’t change is opinion that Jed McKenna has some interesting things to say. What follows is something that I wrote about this book after reading it for the first time.

Who is Jed McKenna?

Jed McKenna is not like your usual enlightened guru. He does not claim to be any type of higher being – or to even be holy. He has just realized some truths about the reality of the universe, and this has changed how he interacts with the world. Jed McKenna does not even seem to be his real name and his true identity is a bit of a mystery.

Unlike most other spiritual teachers McKenna does not claim that becoming enlightened is such a swell thing. In fact he ponders if being caught up in the world of illusion may even be preferable. He provides a view of universe that most people will not want to believe is true. He claims that the idea that the self is a delusion and so is duality – there is only one thing. Not that he is saying anything particular new here – this is the same teaching given by most of the non duality crowd and the Buddha made a similar claim almost 2,600 years ago. The difference with Jed McKenna is that he does not heavily promote enlightenment as something worth having.

Jed McKenna is not an atheist but he dismisses all religions and philosophies as being practically worthless. I agree with his claim that people can only find out the truth for themselves. He admits that all belief systems can be used as a path to enlightenment but that the truth inside them is too obscure for the average Joe (or Joanna) to grasp. Many of his ideas seem to be close to Buddhism but he is as equally dismissive of this as every other belief system. He really does believe that if you see the Buddha on your path you should kill him. He does acknowledge though that the practice of real Zen will take you a long way on the journey to enlightenment, but eventually even Buddhism needs to be ditched in order to continue the journey. Mr. McKenna suggests that all belief systems should be open to more scrutiny and that they should be judged on the number of enlightened beings they produce – no argument from me here.

Review of Spiritual Enlightenment; the Damndest Thing

The thing that I most took from this book is the idea that there is nothing wrong with us and that the big answers just aren’t there to be found. Life is entertainment that is best enjoyed if you don’t ask too many questions or try too hard to find out how it all works. Once you know how a movie is put together then it sort of ruins the enjoyment, and the same is true with life. Jed McKenna believes that self is an illusion and that we are all just characters in poorly acted soap opera. We can have the truth about reality or we can just continue as we are – ultimately it doesn’t make a whole lot of difference.

Jed McKenna may be a huge fraud but I don’t think that really matters so much. What I don’t doubt is that there is a good deal of wisdom in his words. I have my own philosophies which I use as tools to make life that bit more enjoyable. This book has reminded me that ultimately all they are is tools and not the truth.

How to Deal with Addiction Recovery Experts and Spiritual Masters

It is not always easy to find reliable information about addiction recovery or spirituality. When I started looking for help with my alcohol problems back in the eighties there seemed to only about four books to choose from back in Ireland, but the internet now means that the available resources are almost endless. The problem is that not all of this information can be trusted. After all, anyone with a keyboard can now set themselves up as an online addiction guru or spiritual master. In this video I will discuss my views on how to separate the gems from the dross when dealing with this type of material.

Here is the video or if you prefer you can listen to the podcast below:

Here is the podcast for this episode

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I Miss Writing Fiction

I gave up on fiction three years ago after turning full time as a writer. This was a purely practical decision, and it made good sense at the time. I couldn’t see much hope of ever earning a living from my stories. I also didn’t have the energy after working on the computer all day for anything more than an occasional blog post. When I became a full time writer it felt like I’d achieved a lifetime ambition, but it also meant giving up on a dream. I’d always wanted to write fiction but it seemed like a reasonable compromise. Now I’m no longer so sure.

Fiction is Stranger than Truth

I started writing stories at around the age of 7. At first this involved creating my own comic books. I have to admit that these were pretty poor efforts (the graphics were particularly bad), but I did enjoy putting them together. In my teenage years I’d write short stories. Even during my two decades of being a drunk I kept on writing. These efforts were always full of self pity and negativity. I now know that this was because my own situation infected the characters in my stories. I didn’t like to show this writing to other people because there was probably enough evidence in them to have me committed to an insane asylum. I now regret that I didn’t keep these notebooks full of stories because it would be a good reminder of what I escaped.

I first began sharing my writing with other people six years ago. I created a blog and some of the content of this became my book Dead Drunk. I felt comfortable writing about my own life, and it somehow felt less personal than sharing my fiction. I know that this may not make sense, but it is like my fictional stories are coming from somewhere deeper inside and this makes them more revealing. I suspect that we can learn more about people from the things they write as fiction than the things they write as fact. There is less censorship with fiction because things have a habit of just sneaking in there.

I sometimes think about characters from my fiction as if they were real people. I dream about them. It is like these people who only ever existed in my mind are haunting me. I will associate them with names and places. Writing fiction is similar to lucid dreaming/ astral travel (another hobby of mine) in that we can create our own worlds and go play in them. Just like astral travel we can come out of the experience wondering if the characters we created are somehow real.

I Miss the Passion of Writing Fiction

I miss fiction. Much of the passion has gone out of writing since I gave it up. Sometimes it just feels like I’m just going through the motions. I know that my technique and style has improved since turning full time but most days it just feels like a job. I now think of myself more as a small business owner than a writer, and this was never my intention.

It is going to involve making a few sacrifices, but I’m going to start writing fiction again. Even if I only do this for half an hour a day it will be worth it. I might never show this work to anyone else, but it is something that I need to do for me. I want that passion for writing back.

From Intermittent Fasting to Juice Feasting

In a post last week I mentioned some changes that I wanted to make to my 5:2 intermittent diet. Instead of eating only one meal of 600 calories on my two fasting days I intended to drink juice instead. These changes seemed necessary because I was beginning to struggle with the 5:2 diet after 7 weeks of it.

My first juice fasting day was Monday and things went so well that I just kept going until Friday. I’m pleased with the results of my first juice fast, and this is something that I plan to do again soon. I lost about 1.5 kg but I don’t see this as a viable way to control my weight. It did make a difference to my energy levels, and I just feel healthier afterwards. I have a history of being initially enthusiastic with new health regimes but then losing interest, but I am optimistic about juicing.

Juice Fasting or Juice Feasting

I’ve fasted for 14 days in the last couple of months and juicing does feel more like feasting than fasting. I was drinking over 2 liters of vegetable juice per day plus half a liter of fruit juice so I never felt hungry – or at least I didn’t until Friday. I did some wild experiments with vegetable mixes and these concoctions weren’t always that tasty, but I had no problem drinking them. On the second morning I woke up with what felt like hangover symptoms, something I haven’t experienced in over six years, but this only lasted about 10 minutes. One of the other downsides of juicing was that I developed diarrhea, but apparently this settles down on a longer juice feast.

On Friday I started to feel a bit strange (tired and unable to concentrate) so I stopped the juice fast right there. I hadn’t planned to go that long any way so there was no sense of failure. I think it would have been a mistake to overdo it on the first fast, but I am curious to see what will happen if I go longer next time. My body just felt younger and more fell of energy after the fast so it definitely seemed a worthwhile thing to do.

I’m going to be better prepared for my next juice feast, and I might try for 10 days. This seems to be a good length of time to get most of the benefits of this type of detox. If I could manage this type of fast twice a year it would probably go a long way towards staying healthy – so long as I don’t eat junk all the time in between.

My Other Posts on 5:2 Intermittent Fasting

Ten weeks of 5:2 Intermittent Fasting

Second Week of 5:2 Fasting Diet

Week Three of the 5:2 Intermittent Fasting Diet

Changes to My 5:2 Intermittent Fasting Plan

Intermittent Fasting as a Spiritual Exercise

5:2 Fasting Diet Update Week 6

Hardest Day Yet with 5:2 Intermittent Fasting

Off the Rails with the 5:2 Fasting Diet

Undrunk: A Skeptics Guide to AA

I’ve written previous blog posts sharing my views in regards to Alcoholics Anonymous (see Why All the Hatred for Alcoholics Anonymous?). This program does help people who want to quit drinking, but it is not an approach that works for everyone. I have a great deal of respect for this fellowship, but it worries me when the program is promoted as the only real solution for drunks because it isn’t. I also dislike it when critics of the fellowship try to paint it as some type of evil brainwashing cult – it isn’t that either.

My blog posts about AA have elicited some interesting comments from both sides of the debate. One reader suggested that I read an Book called Undrunk: A Skeptics Guide to AA. I don’t usually do book reviews on request (mostly because I’m not very good at it), but I will make an exception here because it is such an interesting topic.

Undrunk: A Skeptics Guide to AA by A.J. Adams

The title of this book had me worried that it might be some type of skeptic/debunker hatchet job that would provide an unfair assessment of AA. Most of what passes as skepticism today doesn’t appeal that much to me– probably because some (all?) of my own beliefs would fall into their category of woo woo. The skepticism involved in Undrunk: A Skeptics Guide to AA is of the very light variety so my initial concerns were unwarranted. In fact there were even times reading the book when I felt turning the skepticism up a notch might have been helpful.

The most interesting parts of Undrunk were when A.J. discussed his struggles with AA and his initial difficulties with understanding the program. I also felt coerced into attending my first AA meetings, and I remember what it was like to sit there waiting for the chat to end so that I could hit a bar. A.J. uses humor when talking about this period of his life, but his pain and shame is obvious without him having to spell it out. These stories are made all the more powerful because of the honesty involved.

Good Introduction to AA

A.J. does a good job of describing what it is like to be a new member of AA, and anyone who has never used the fellowship is going to gain some good insight from this book. He tackles most of the issues that newcomers are likely to face, and he is willing to share his own mistakes so that other people can learn from them. I liked the fact that A.J. was able to provide so much useful information about the group without ever going into lecture mode.

My one criticism of Undrunk: A Skeptics Guide to AA would be A.J.’s assessment in the introduction for why people fail to take advantage of “the most effective treatment for alcoholism in the world”. He provides four reasons for this; the alcoholic has not suffered enough, their mistaken belief that AA is old fashioned, the mistaken idea that the program is too difficult, and “people either don’t know anything about AA or they don’t like what they think they know”.

I’m going to ignore the claim that AA is the most effective treatment in the world except to say that I’m not sure how this could even be ever proved. What really bothers me is the insinuation in these four options that the drunk is somehow at fault for not wanting the program. It ignores the reality that AA does not work for all alcoholics, and it is not the best solution for all alcoholics. It may be fairer to say that it is only the best program for a minority of alcoholics.

Undrunk: A Skeptics Guide to AA is going to be of most value to those who don’t know much about the fellowship and are considering it as an option. It is also an inspirational read for those who are struggling with an addiction and who are in need of some encouragement. This book was written by A.J. after being just one year sober so hopefully he will write something else further down the line. It will be interesting to see if his views change. I wish him all the best.

Off the Rails with the 5:2 Fasting Diet

I went off the rails a bit this week with my 5:2 fasting diet. In my last post I mentioned some concerns I had about my failure to lose any weight and increasing hunger pains on my fast days. I received some great suggestions in the comment section from you guys, but it wasn’t enough to motivate me to stick to my fast days this week. I’ve just got too much work on at the moment (which is a nice change from two months ago when I feared there would be no more work), and I can’t be productive when overly hungry.

New Approach to 5:2 Fasting

This week I failed to stick to my plan for 5:2 fasting but what’s done is done. There is no point in beating myself up over it. To be honest it felt like the right choice to make because what I was doing had stopped working for me. I did eat too much junk over the last few days, and I’ve probably undone some of the good work of the last seven weeks but that’s where I am. All is not lost because I am now moving into 5:2 Fasting Mark 2.

I do believe that fasting is benefiting me even if it is not bringing my weight down as low as I’d like. I’m going to try a different approach which involves combining the 5:2 intermittent fasting diet with juicing. This will mean instead of eating just one meal for 24 hours I will be able to drink juice during that period. I expect to still feel a bit of hunger but hopefully it will mean that I can still be productive – at least more than when I was eating nothing. I’ll try to use plenty of broccoli (and similar vegetables) to help me get enough protein into these juices. On my fasting days I’ll also eliminate coffee but allow myself green tea.

Juicing My Way to Health

I’ve purchased about three books on juicing over the last couple of years, but never got around to actually giving it a go. I like the idea of being able to get the goodness out of many servings of vegetables without actually haven’t to eat them. I don’t like eating vegetables but my years of alcoholism are evidence that I can drink practically anything.

I really enjoyed the movie Fat Sick and Nearly Dead , but I didn’t think that juicing would be something that I could maintain. I’ve been able to fast for 14 days during the last 7 weeks so now I know that this is something that I probably could do. Yesterday I made a major commitment to juicing by blowing my monthly entertainment budget on a juicer – it cost just under 4,000 THB (100 Euro or $130 from Fashion Island here in Bangkok). I gave the juicer a go this morning and it was a bit scary to see how much vegetables it used to create a couple of glasses of juice – it tasted wonderful though even if I overdid it with the ginger. Hopefully I won’t have to sell my kidney in order to be able to afford these drinks.

Next week I’m going to try two fasting days where I’ll stick to juice. I’m not going to limit the amount of juice I consume because it will probably be difficult for me to mange more than 500 calories of the stuff. If my appetite doesn’t keep my consumption in check my budget will. If these fasting days go well I might try doing two juice fast days together, and from there I might try for longer. I don’t want to use juicing as a quick way to lose weight. I want this to become part of my way of life. I’ve read reports from people who have been juicing for decades, and they report some impressive results.

My Other Posts on 5:2 Intermittent Fasting

Ten weeks of 5:2 Intermittent Fasting

Second Week of 5:2 Fasting Diet

Week Three of the 5:2 Intermittent Fasting Diet

Changes to My 5:2 Intermittent Fasting Plan

Intermittent Fasting as a Spiritual Exercise

5:2 Fasting Diet Update Week 6

Hardest Day Yet with 5:2 Intermittent Fasting

Hardest Day Yet with 5:2 Intermittent Fasting

Last Friday was my fourteenth fasting day, and it turned out to be the hardest one yet. I’m not sure what happened but from 4pm onwards it was a real struggle not to eat. I felt starving and almost gave into temptation a couple of times. I did make it until the end of the fast, but it wasn’t fun at all. I felt a bit crushed the next day because after all that effort my weight had actually gone by 0.4 kg.

I am Starting to Have Doubts about the 5:2 Intermittent Fasting Diet

I’m no longer convinced that intermittent fasting is the best way for me to control my weight. This approach does seem to be working for some other people, but I’m now hitting diminishing returns. I could accept my weight leveling out at 77kg, but the fact that I’m starving myself for 48 hours each week and putting on weight is a worry. I don’t believe that I’m eating more than usual on my non-fast days. Other people have warned me that there is a risk that these short fasts could be putting my body into weight preservation mode, and this does seem to be happening.

While I feel less than overwhelmed by the weight loss effect of 5:2 intermittent fasting it has increased my interest of fasting in general. I do feel that my body gets a good cleanout on these fast days, and I’m convinced of the spiritual benefits of this practice. I find that I’m able to meditate more deeply on fasting days, and my dreams also tend to be a bit more vivid. I want to experiment with longer fasts – maybe trying to do 72 hours.

Where to Go From Here?

I’ve completed seven weeks of 5:2 intermittent fasting, and my original plan was to do three more. I don’t want to go through another fast like Friday if it is not going to produce any real benefits. On the other hand, I do want to see this thing through to the end – maybe the last three weeks can be as productive as the first three weeks. My next fast day is on Tuesday so I’ll wait and see what happens then. I could do with some encouragement at this point so if anyone out there is having success with the 5:2 diet please feel free to share in the comment section.

My Other Posts on 5:2 Intermittent Fasting

Ten weeks of 5:2 Intermittent Fasting

Second Week of 5:2 Fasting Diet

Week Three of the 5:2 Intermittent Fasting Diet

Changes to My 5:2 Intermittent Fasting Plan

Intermittent Fasting as a Spiritual Exercise

5:2 Fasting Diet Update Week 6

Air Guitar as a Path to Fitness

I’ve shared some of my darkest secrets on this blog, but there are some things that feel just too embarrassing to reveal. I worry that if people knew about these other things they might laugh at me or think a bit less of me. Today I’m going to take a leap of faith and trust that my readers are open-minded and non-judgmental. I’m going to admit that I’m a middle age man who likes nothing more than playing an imaginary guitar while pretending to be Kurt Cobain. I do this alone in my office with a chair jammed against the door so that nobody can come in.

My Dark Secret

I haven’t told my wife about this strange hobby of air guitar. I’m not even sure if this is something that a she could understand – it is not a behaviour I’ve seen any Thais engage in. A couple of times Oa has noticed my door locked in the evening, and she probably suspects that with all the bumping noise I’m up to something a bit more sinister. She is good enough never to quiz me too hard about my flushed face, but she accepts my claims of “just exercising” with obvious scepticism. Not that I’m telling her a lie because air guitar is superb exercise.

Air Guitar as a Path to Fitness

Air guitar is the most enjoyable type of exercise ever invented. There is no need to buy any equipment – all that is needed is my imagination and some loud music. Forty minutes of this imaginary guitar playing can get my heart going almost as much as a few rounds of pads in Muay Thai. I’m sure it burns plenty of calories. Best of all is that it doesn’t feel like exercise at all, and it always puts me in a good mood.

Positive Thinking or Denial – Video and Podcast

In this video I discuss some of the things that can go wrong when I allow positive thinking to turn into denial. I’m convinced that a positive mental attitude impacts the way I experience the world, but it is also important for me to acknowledge negative feelings. You will find the podcast for this video underneath the video (music for this is provided by Doug and Judy Smith).

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5:2 Fasting Diet Update Week 6

Yesterday was my 11th fasting day. My weight loss has noticeably slowed down now, and I have only dropped about 0.4 kg (less than a pound) in two weeks. My current weight is 77.8kg (171 pounds). I had hoped that just sticking to the 5:2 plan would be enough to bring my weight down to where I want it, but it is obvious now that more effort is required. It won’t be the end of the world if my weight stabilizes where it is, but I would prefer to get it below 75kg. I now look a bit lumpy rather than obviously fat.

Further Action to Bring My Weight Down

If I want to get my weight down further I will need to be more careful on my non fasting days. I don’t go too wild but the problem areas would include:

- I love the vegetarian burgers that my wife makes, and I’ll eat these up to three times a week. The problem isn’t so much the burgers, but the fact that I eat them with 6 slices of white bread.

- Most of the Thai food that I eat is fried.

- I tend to stuff myself with fruit just before going to bed. I spoke to a sports nutritionist last year, and he reckoned that eating excessive carbohydrates prior to bedtime is one of the worst things you can do. If I’m going to eat before bed I should stick to protein foods.

- I haven’t been exercising enough.

If I want to bring my weight down further I will need to be a bit stricter in regards to these problem areas. I must admit that I’m a tiny bit disappointed. I had hoped that once I reached my target I’d be able to drop to 1 fasting day a week. At the moment it seems that I need almost the full two fasting days just to keep my weight stabilized.

My Other Posts on 5:2 Intermittent Fasting

Ten weeks of 5:2 Intermittent Fasting

Second Week of 5:2 Fasting Diet

Week Three of the 5:2 Intermittent Fasting Diet

Changes to My 5:2 Intermittent Fasting Plan

Intermittent Fasting as a Spiritual Exercise