Paul Garrigan's Blog, page 50

Christian Missionaries in Thailand Revisited – A Missionary Responds

Last year I posted on the topic of Are Christian Missionaries in Thailand a Good Thing? . This article generated some interesting comments at the time and people continue to join in the debate a year later. The most recent comment to the thread was by an actual Christian missionary. I found his side of the story so interesting that I've decided to turn it into a new post on the topic. Tim's comments are in italics.

Importance of Honesty and Effective Communications

Dear Paul and other posters,

First of all, I thank you each for sharing your honest thoughts, opinions, and ideas in this thread. Paul – kudos to you for having the guts to post a relevant (and potentially controversial) question and seeking to foster good, honest communication about this and other topics. I think one major issue with today's world is a lack of honesty with others or an apathy or negligence in communicating core, personal beliefs, thoughts, and ideas with others while demonstrating utmost love and respect for them. I appreciate you trying to do so and create some space for that to happen on your site.

And second, forgive me for this long post. I thought it would be good to join in the discussion. I'm grateful for all your comments and hope you would give these a read too.

Thanks Tim, I agree that many of the problems that we have with other people could be resolved with clearer communication. It is just so easy to get caught up by the 'in-group' mentality where we demonize anyone who is in the 'out-group' . It is a personal battle for me to keep reminding myself that just because people have a different worldview it does not mean that they are against me. I can hold my opinions and be a good person and so can they.

Rice Bowl Christians

I found this question intriguing because I'm a missionary in Thailand (6 years and counting…) and often wonder what Thais and other foreigners think of our presence and work. Believe me, I cringe along with many of you for much of the negative interaction you've had with Christians, both here in Thailand and abroad. I share your distaste for "baiting the hook" or "switcheroo" tactics that some may employ and prefer to be open and honest about our desire to love and serve others in the name of Jesus.

I do feel that trying to coerce anyone into joining a religion is a bad thing, and I'm glad that you appear to share my view. I realize that the believers who use such tactics are in the minority, but they can do a great deal of harm all the same. They are using a cynical ploy which I think is ultimately self-defeating anyway. People should not be asked to change their beliefs in exchange for food, gifts or free education. The history of 'rice bowl Christians' does suggest that many return to their former beliefs once they are more secure in life, but it still feels wrong to me. It is my experience with this type of tactic that has led to an almost kneejerk distrust of missionaries. I can easily fall into the trap of tarring everyone with the same brush, and this is why it is so good for me to hear from people like you.

The Problem with Beliefs

Wouldn't things be better if we all shared what we believe and retained great respect for others in doing so?

I have utmost respect for my Thai Buddhist friends and many of them exhibit what Christians would call "Fruit of the Spirit" from Galatians 5:22 love, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control in their daily lives. Many to a greater degree than some who claim to be followers of Jesus! I understand that Christianity is pretty controversial and seen as closed-minded. Would you all agree that anything we believe could be seen as closed-minded? Those who would identify as open-minded could move towards a closed-mindedness when it comes to those who would say there's absolute truth, right? The claims of Jesus (both his deity and mankind's only hope for salvation – through grace not works) don't sit well with many because they draw this ultimate, absolute, line.

I sometimes look upon beliefs and opinions as a necessary evil. I don't know how we can survive without them, but they come with a heavy price. Every time I take on a belief it is like I've closed a door in my mind, and if I close enough of these doors it will lead to complete closed mindedness. So yes, I fully agree with you that anything we believe could be considered closed-minded.

I do not think it is possible for any human to have access to ultimate truth – that is one of my beliefs. How could we possibly know if anything is ultimately true? Even if I woke up in heaven tomorrow I could still question if any of it was real. This is why I'm not only skeptical about strong religious beliefs but of any beliefs (including scientific). I look upon the world as one huge mystery. I don't know the answers, and I'm not convinced that other people know much more than me, but I have to allow for the possibility that I'm wrong.

I can't say with 100% certainty that your claims for Jesus are wrong, and it would mean closing my mind if I were to believe that. On the other hand, it would be equally closed minded for me to accept the opposite conclusion. This leaves me in a position where I have to think, 'Tim could be right about Jesus', but of course the same would apply to every other religious belief. This is why I struggle with the Christian idea that they have access to the ultimate truth.

The Truth About Thai Culture

I thought it would be appropriate to weigh in here as a Christian missionary (the very subject of this post) and say that I have wrestled over many of the points you all have brought up. Will we have some detrimental effect on Thai culture by sharing the story of Jesus? As an artist and patron of the arts, I have great appreciation of Thai art forms, especially ancient forms of Raam Thai, Muay Thai, Poetry, and cuisine! From a Christian perspective I would posit that these are gifts from God (look at the distinctive qualities of all cultures) to be celebrated by Thai and foreigner alike. Even as Thailand is primarily Buddhist would it become any less Thai if many were to believe the claims of Jesus and become Christians? Did Korea become less Korean as Christianity grew? Would the US become less American if Buddhism continues to grow there? I don't have all the answers but please know that I care very deeply about Thais as a people. Cultural identity is wonderful but for the Christian, our ultimate identity is in Christ.

Many of the things I admire about Thailand do have Buddhist roots, but they are under far more threat from modernity than Christianity. I don't believe that culture should be a static thing anyway – so you do have a valid point here. It is the Thai people who shape their own culture, and if they want to embrace Christianity then that will become part of their identity. It is a bit patronizing of us foreigners to feel that we have to save Thailand from a foreign religion.

I come from a country that is predominately Christian, but I was allowed to explore other religions such as Buddhism and Taoism. It would be hypocritical for me to say that Thai people shouldn't have the same opportunity. I don't see Christianity ever becoming a dominant religion in Thailand so the threat is exaggerated anyway.

The Right to Spread Beliefs

I sincerely hope that my desire to live and work among the Thai people would never be detrimental to them. I guess we all start from of beliefs and work out from them, don't we? Jesus' claim to be God and the only hope of salvation for anyone compels me to share this with those around me. If you thought you had a cure for cancer, would you share it with others? I think you can follow the analogy here. If you truly believed that Jesus was the only way to salvation why would you keep that from others?

Paul's question has given us all a chance to share our beliefs as well and in a sense we're all trying (at one level or another) to see others come to our way of thinking. I agree with you that many Christians have been heavy-handed in doing so. I would say that that grieves the Spirit of Christ Jesus. If you read the gospels you'll see that Jesus was both tender (as with the woman at the well) and harsh (with the religious leaders of the day) as he needed to be. His followers are simply sinners looking to a God of grace to save them. We're miserable when it comes to engaging people as Jesus did. He was perfect after all.

One of the things that attracted me to Buddhism was that nobody tried to convert me. I had to seek out information and teachers. This way of spreading beliefs feels more legitimate to me – if something requires a 'hard sell' it automatically makes me suspicious. I understand that some Christian groups feel it is their duty to spread the word, and that is their motivation for coming to places like Thailand. As far as I can tell they aren't doing anything illegal and in all likelihood are doing at least some good.

I think the problem with comparing Jesus with a cure for cancer is that there would be no need to send missionaries to spread the word about such a cure. The fact that it was so obviously beneficial would mean that the news would spread like wildfire. The problem with religious beliefs is that they involve things that are not easily proved or accepted. So I don't think it is a fair comparison unless the cancer cure was a faith based treatment. The question of whether people are justified in spreading their strongly held opinions isn't so clear cut. I can think of plenty of examples where people should not be allowed to spread their beliefs – even if they do think it is beneficial to do so.

Christian Missionaries versus Sex Tourists

I would encourage all of us to form our opinions about others by getting to know them, seeking further understanding, and engage in meaningful dialogue. And to challenge them, like this question and subsequent posting did more me.

For example, I'm pretty prejudice about the foreigners who travel to Bangkok for sex. A similar question, "Are Sex Tourists in Bangkok a good thing for Thailand?", would likely yield a bevy of answers finding root in our core beliefs. One may say, "No problem! The girls love it and need the money!" – Another, "It shows disrespect for Thai women and Thai culture." – and another "Prostitution at it cores destroys souls and degrades people who are precious in the eyes of God and made in his image!" I would whole-heartily say that sex tourism is seeking to destroy Thailand. Would you agree with that?

You do make a valid criticism here, but I think it would be unfair to make black and white judgments. The problem is that the word 'sex tourist' has been used so much that it has become a bit meaningless. I would say that a significant number of those labeled as sex tourist come to Thailand looking for companionship more than anything else. Many of them are older guys who probably didn't have much luck with relationships back in their home countries. They come to Thailand to meet girls in a bar and will typically fall in love. In exchange for companionship (which would probably include at least occasional sex) they will then take care of this girl and her family. Some people might object to such relationships as morally wrong, but I'm not so certain. I think you are justified in pointing out a double standard here, but I don't think either missionaries or sex tourism are black and white issues.

People are Flawed

I try to keep my motives and actions in check and your posts are invaluable in doing so. Unfortunately, followers of Jesus are flawed, broken people and fail miserably when it comes to sharing the love of Christ perfectly. I'm compelled to share the good news with others because I believe it is true, the Jesus gave his life for you. I do want to you to wrestle with that as being truth just as you may desire to help me wrestle over my core convictions.

Tim I really appreciate that you have shared your side of the story here. You do make some valid points, and I feel that my understanding of what compels missionaries to come to Thailand has increased. I agree that all humans are flawed, and the best we can do is give life our best shot. I hope other people with add their own comments in reply to your well written side of the story.

If I Ask For Whiskey On My Deathbed Please Just Give It To Me

Alcohol is no longer part of my life. I don't miss it, and I have no intention of ever touching the stuff again. When I left Thamkrabok temple almost 6 years ago I was convinced my addiction had ended, and I still feel exactly the same way today. Some might say that I'm being overly confident, but it is just the way I feel.

The Founder of Alcoholics Anonymous Asked for Whiskey on His Death Bed

In the biography Susan Cheever reveals how the founder of Alcoholics Anonymous asked for alcohol shortly before his death. At the time he was losing his battle against chronic emphysema and only had days to live. It is reported the he asked for whisky on four separate occasions, but it was never given to him. It appears that protecting the legacy of the man who founded Alcoholics Anonymous was more important than comfort during his last hours. Bill Wilson's requests for whiskey were recorded in the notes by the nurse taking care of him.

I personally find it a bit deplorable that Bill W. was not given alcohol when he requested it. I have experience working as a nurse in palliative care, and I have seen how tough the process of dying can be. People can be terrified so anything that can give them some comfort is welcome. The only reason that I can see why Bill W. was denied his dying request was an attempt to protect his image and the image of the program he created. These are not good justifications in my mind. He had already made it to the end of his life so what difference did it make if he drank again? It wasn't like he was going to go on a drunken rampage or damage his liver. It just bothers me that this man who had helped so many was denied some final comfort and for what?

If I Ask For Whiskey on My Deathbed Please Give It to Me

I have no plans to ask for whiskey on my deathbed, but if I do it should be given to me. I intend to leave this world completely sober because I want to fully observe the process – even if it is only blinking out into nothingness. The reality is though, that we have no idea how we are going to react to dying until we are facing it. Ram Dass talks about this in the documentary Fierce Grace . He devoted decades to spiritual training but he still felt overwhelmed when faced with own death – this was when he was having his stroke. Dying is not an easy thing.

Lucid Dreaming in Thailand

I love my waking life. I live in a beautiful part of the world, and the sun is always shining when I open the door. My home life couldn't be better, and things are going well in my career at the moment. I have plenty to stay awake for, but I'm also finding increasing pleasure in my dreaming hours. I would even go so far as to say that some of the most significant events in my life recently have occurred while I was asleep. This might sound like a bizarre claim but those who regularly have lucid dreams will probably understand what I'm referring to.

Lucid Dreaming Explained

I was once highly skeptical of lucid dreaming and put it in the same category as magic crystals or fairy dust. I didn't realize that this state of consciousness had already been given the stamp of approval by science. There are now numerous studies that confirm that it is possible for people to become fully aware in the middle of a dream. It is even suggested that as many as 50% of the population will have experienced at least some level of lucidity while dreaming.

Lucid dreaming is when people become awake while in the middle of a dream . Those who are unfamiliar with this experience are usually so startled that it wakes them up right away. Once people learn how to manage this lucidity it opens up a world of opportunity. It becomes possible to have some control in the dream. This world created by our mind then becomes our personal holodeck ; fans of Star Trek will know what I'm talking about here. In other words our dreams can become our playground and we can do almost anything we want.

Benefits of Lucid Dreaming

Those people who have never experienced lucid dreaming might wonder what all the fuss is about. We tend to take our dreams for granted and most of the time we don't even remember them afterwards. The potential of lucidity in dreams is astounding and the benefits include

- It is an opportunity to gain insight into our subconscious. The things that we learn about our own inner landscape can completely change the way we live our waking life.

- It is possible to talk with deceased loved ones. The general consensus is that these phantoms are just part of our subconscious, but they can bring great comfort.

- It is possible to have conversations with literally anyone; including historical heroes like the Buddha or Socrates.

- We can live out our fantasies. Forget about playing an air guitar because in a lucid dream you get to see an audience and really experience what it is like to be onstage.

- Buddhists have a long history of using lucid dreaming as a path to enlightenment.

- The ability that attracts the most attention from newbie lucid dreamers is flying. The laws of gravity do not apply in the dream world so flying is not a problem.

- Another tempting diversion in lucid dreaming is to live out sexual fantasies. This is probably high on the list of reasons for why people want to learn to become lucid in the first place – it takes sex tourism to a whole new level.

- One of the most talked about potentials of lucid dreaming is the ability to master new skills. My own experiences is that lucid dreaming isn't that great for learning new languages, but it can be good for practicing physical activities. I've used it for Muay Thai sparring, and it did help with my confidence.

- One of my favorite abilities in these dreams is time travel. It is even possible to revisit times before we were born or in the future. Of course most people don't believe that we actually travel through time, but it can be extremely convincing.

* It can lead to increased creativity in our waking life.

My Own Experience with Lucid Dreaming

I had lucid dreams in my teens, but I didn't know that this is what they were. The shock of being lucid always woke me up. I had my first sustained lucid dream during a meditation retreat at Wat Rampoeng nine years ago. I was then meditating up to 16 hours a day, and this meant that when I became lucid my automatic response was to just continue meditating. Most new lucid dreamers will do all the exciting stuff like flying, or having sex with their dream date, so my early experiences with lucidity might be considered a bit tame.

Since giving up alcohol almost six years ago I've developed an increased ability to lucid dream. I am experiencing them with increased regularity. I now have lucid dreams about once every couple of weeks. It is still such a joy to become aware in the middle of a dream, and I can't imagine ever getting bored with this ability. Some people are able to become lucid every night, but I've yet to reach that level. I would be happy with once a week.

It is only in recent months that I've started reading other people's accounts of lucid dreaming and the techniques that work for them. I highly recommend Lucid Dreaming by Stephen Laberge. I still struggle to gain control over my dreams. I just become too distracted and excited with being awake in this imaginary world that has been created inside my own head. A few nights ago I time travelled back to Dublin during the seventies. I just felt so gob-smacked by how real everything looked and felt. I wasted a lot of time just touching things. I woke up before really getting a chance to explore. There is a great deal of skill involved in dream lucidity, but I am getting better at it.

I'm surprised at how little attention is given to dream lucidity in the media. I believe that this is something that anyone could learn to do, and the rewards make the effort well worth it. It can be frustrating in the beginning, but if people keep at it they are almost certain to gain control over their dreams. We spend a good sized chunk of our life asleep so it does make sense that we make use of this time.

Greetings from Phuket

I've taken a few days off to travel down to Phuket. I came down on Thursday night and the journey took me 12 hours. It turned out to be a tougher drive than I'd expected, and I felt completely knackered afterwards. I was like a zombie for most of yesterday. I'm not looking forward to the return trip.

My reason for travelling down to Phuket is to practice Muay Thai. I've been lazy in recent months, and the aim of this trip is to revamp my love of this martial arts. I'm going to be devoting myself to Muay Thai over the next few days. You can follow my progress on my other blog Middle Aged Muay Thai

Why I Am No Longer An Alcoholic

In this episode I discuss my reasons for no longer considering myself to be an alcoholic

You can listen to the podcast of this episode by pressing play below.

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In Response to the Addiction Experts

I was recently interviewed by a journalist from the Chiang Mai City Life magazine about my experiences of addiction in Thailand. I'm always grateful for the opportunity to talk about myself so thanks Grace. I do recommend that people read this article Staying Sober in Thailand.

The Expert View of Thamkrabok

The one thing that really caught my attention in this article was the views of Simon Mott – an addiction expert. In particular his claim;

"This practice may be more beneficial for Thai people who are spiritually linked to Buddhism, also especially if they continue to live as a monk after treatment. However, it is vital to find and deal with the root of the problem causing addiction, which is better sought through psychology, counselling, and cognitive behavioural therapy. It is important to examine the way people think about things, and try to adapt thinking patterns to heal addictions."



I must admit that his comments have irked me. Mott does not appear to know much about the temple yet he feels qualified to make blanket statements. I do not pretend to act as a spokesperson for Thamkrabok but most of the ex-patients I've met have already tried the therapies he has suggested. I entered my first treatment facility and nineteen and had twenty years of psychology, counseling, and CBT – these methods did not work for me, but I found success at Thamkrabok.

I would love to know on what basis Mott is making his claim "This practice may be more beneficial for Thai people who are spiritually linked to Buddhism, also especially if they continue to live as a monk after treatment". Buddhism was hardly mentioned during my stay and most of the people who establish a solid sobriety afterwards do not live the life of a monk. I certainly don't live this life anyway.

More Than One Solution

I'm sure that the therapies Mott endorses do help many addicts. I'm not going to say here it will be better for people to go to Thamkrabok. It seems reasonable to assume that there is no one solution that suits everyone. It is obvious though, that the western approach is failing too many people so to insist that 'more of the same' is the way to go sounds stupid to me. This point was made clear by a report provided by the National Health Executive in the UK last year called Addicted to the Status Quo. It concluded that 'Current treatments options are limited and substantially rest within a symptom management model'.

There is not yet enough scientific research into the efficacy of Thamkrabok. Groups such as East-West Detox are working to get some studies completed, but it is a hugely problematic thing to judge. This means that any claims that recovery is "better sought through psychology, counselling, and cognitive behavioural therapy" is based on zero evidence. It bugs me when experts dismiss those therapies that they do not understand and that could be of benefit to many people. To keep on insisting that these individuals return to those therapies that have already failed them sounds ridiculous to me. To be honest, it bugs the shit out of me.

24 Years and I Can Still Get Homesick

Dublin (Picture from Wikimedia Commons)

I left my home in Dublin 24 years ago – I had just turned eighteen. This means that I've spent the majority of my life living abroad. I stayed in England for over a decade, spent a year in Scotland, and this was followed by a brief sojourn in Saudi Arabia. I have been living in Thailand for the last 11 years. I love my current life and wouldn't change a thing. I made the right decision to leave Ireland all those years ago. Despite this I still get periods of homesickness.

The Homesickness Bug

I've become used to these periods of homesickness. I know that each year there will be a few days when I'll pine for the old country. I treat these emotions in much the same way as a common cold. I just sit them out, and I know that they will pass. These days there is wonderful technology that allows me to feel like I'm back in Ireland without leaving Bangkok. I can listen to Irish Radio, and watch Irish TV. I can even go for a walk around my old neighborhood with the help of Google maps street level views – on of the most fantastic tools available on the internet. This might sound like I'm wallowing in my homesickness, but it does help. It is not like this is something I do every day.

The Ireland I Left No Longer Exists

One uncomfortable truth that many of us long-term expats have to face is that the place we left no longer exists. Ireland has changed so much since the eighties that I can feel like a bit of a stranger there when I do visit. I will always consider it to be my home, but in so many important ways it is not my home any longer. I have a new life and Ireland has moved on without me.

I remember about twenty years ago talking to this old guy in a London pub. He had been living outside Ireland for decades. This old fella urged me to return to Dublin right away before it was too late. He warned that I was about to embark on a life where I'd always be a stranger. I would never completely feel like I fit in my adopted home, and I'd feel like a stranger when I went back to Ireland on holidays. His prophecy turned out to be correct, but there are some advantages to being an outsider. It has forced me to grow and challenge so many of my cultural assumptions. It made me who I am.

The Dangers of Strong Opinions and Beliefs – Video

In this video I discuss my views about holding strong opinions and beliefs. Please feel free to leave a comment.

I Hate Typos

I make my living as a writer, but this does not mean that my written work is flawless. In fact I cringe when I read back and notice mistakes that have been made with posts on this blog. One reader left a comment today mentioning evidence of poor grammar and spelling. I felt so embarrassed. To make matters worse they were referring to one of my more popular posts and it has been there online for almost a year!

All writers make these typos, but they are usually caught in the editing process. The problem for me is that I usually add my posts on here at the end of a long work day. Sometimes I only manage a quick edit before hitting the publish button. I don't see the mistakes because mentally I've already started tucking into my evening meal. It probably sounds like I'm making excuses here, but that's just the way it is. This blog is hugely important to me, but it would probably be fair to say that at times I've been sloppy. I would love to go back over all my posts and check for mistakes, but I just don't have the time.

If any reader does spot a mistake please feel free to tell me. It is not going to crush my self-esteem because I already make my living as a writer – I can't be that bad. It is my job and I want to at least look professional. I just hate the idea of these typos being left as evidence of my sloppiness. I will try to be more careful in the future

My First Trip to the Dentist in 12 Years

I'm a bit ashamed to say but I've only been to the dentist three times in adulthood. My last visit was 12 years ago to the dentistry school at St Barts in London. I broke a tooth on a particularly hard piece of wholegrain bread (this was during the midst of my alcohol addiction so the fact that I was eating such healthy food meant I was having a particularly good day; unfortunately the broken tooth was used as evidence to support my view that trying to live a healthy life was just a waste of time). A student gave me a temporary cap and told me to see a qualified dentist within six months to get the job done properly. I never went back.

Worrying About Rotten Teeth

In the 12 years since my last visit to the dentist I've wasted a lot of time worrying about my teeth. I brush them at least a couple of times a day, but I know that at least some input from a dentist is required. I had a bad experience with one of these professionals in my childhood and so I now fear them. Oa (my wife) finds it strange that I am a qualified nurse yet have this fear, but to me they are not the same thing. So I avoid going to the dentist and just live with the worry that my teeth may be rotten and about to fall out of my head at any second. I also keep remembering that sick joke about the guy who went to the dentist after many years. He is told that his teeth are fine but that he will need to have his gums removed.

Trip to the Dentist in Minburi

Yesterday in a fit of bravery I decided to go to the dentist in Minburi. I felt really nervous during the trip in the car and my wife thought this highly amusing. I almost lost my courage at the last minute. In a show of solidarity Oa decided to have her teeth checked as well; even though she didn't really feel that they needed checking. They called her in first. I had to sit there with the noise of drilling and whatever else it is they do in there. I brought along my iPad for distraction, but I just couldn't concentrate on anything. It felt like I was on the verge of a panic attack.

My turn came, and I was expecting the worst. They dentist had a good look and told me that I needed one filling and a good clean. I remember the last time I'd gone to a dentist they had said that my teeth were in remarkably good shape despite my aversion to dentistry. I didn't expect for a similar outcome this time so it was a real result. The filling and cleaning involved minimal discomfort so I was an extremely happy customer. I also found it amusing that despite the fact that Oa has no aversion to dentists, and takes good care of her teeth, she needed four fillings.

I felt so pleased with myself that I decided to go right back into the dentist's chair. They had a special offer on teeth whitening – only 2,900 THB (about 70 euro). The next forty five minutes were a bit uncomfortable. I had not done any research because it was a spur of the moment decision. I did not know that the procedure would increase the sensitivity of my teeth – at times it felt like the dentist was sticking something right in the nerve. To be honest the discomfort wasn't that bad, and I'm really pleased with the results. My teeth look whiter than I ever remember them being. They are not quite celebrity white, but they will do for me.

Drinking Coffee through a Straw

The other thing that I didn't realize with the teeth whitening procedure was that I would be expected to avoid coffee and tea for 2 weeks. I have been meaning to cut down my caffeine intake again, but sudden withdrawals do not suit me. Last time I went cold turkey on coffee the headaches were terrible. I did some research online and found that it would be possible for me to continue with my caffeine so long as I didn't allow it to touch my teeth. So now I'm drinking these beverages via a straw.

I wasted so much time over the last 12 years worrying about my teeth. I should have just gone to the dentist ages ago. It really is such a relief to take care of these things rather than ignoring them.