Ila Golden's Blog, page 8
June 7, 2025
Understanding the energy you put out in the world is what you get back
What are the most important things needed to live a good life?
Holding genuine space within ourselves for respecting and understanding others. To do everything in our power to do no harm, and to make amends when we do. Expanding our thinking by listening to voices and experiences different to our own. Unpacking our own unconscious bias, and accepting when we’re wrong.
And if the question is asking how we can make our own lives good, and not how we can live good lives, then…
What everyone needs is different, and that’s a good things.
June 6, 2025
Probably my partner and/or Zelly the gerbil
Who do you spend the most time with?
June 5, 2025
My true name
If you had to change your name, what would your new name be?
Growing up, there was always this dissociation between me and the name I’d been given. Like it was nothing more than an alias. A placeholder. Something to call myself until my true name was revealed.
And I never doubted a day would come where my true name would make itself known. I might have had imaginative notions about how that reveal would happen. But I never doubted the day would come, where I would be able to tell the world my true name.
It was why I choose to give myself a penname. So that, no matter what, my writing would remain under the same ‘brand’.
I knew as a teenager what my true name was. But I was afraid to claim it then. That fear remained for a long time, but it is gone now. And I have claimed my true name. Or at least my true first name. Marriage will add to my surname and make me a truer version of myself.
June 4, 2025
A marbled strawberry cream
Describe your dream chocolate bar.
Milk chocolate is generally my favourite, with Dairy Milk being my preferred blend. However, I do love a good marbled chocolate. So combining that with the strawberry filling from the Roses’ or Quality Streets’ version of the strawberry cream would be my dream chocolate bar. 
June 3, 2025
I’ve kept my favourite childhood books to pass on
Do you remember your favorite book from childhood?
From the ones I read the most, to the ones I thought were the most beautiful to read or look at. I’ve been sure to hold onto every single one I feel I’d want to share with the children I hope to have. They currently sit in a well travelled bookcase, awaiting yet another change in location. In a new home which will, hopefully soon, ring out with the laughter of their much awaited new owners.
June 2, 2025
“one for those who would like to stay with a character for a long time and really get to know them intimately” – The Colours I See
The Colours I see is a unique, heart-warming and mystical saga!
In this disturbing, yet lovely and imaginative tale, we meet Zelda, or Zel, as a child and learn from the beginning that he is both gifted and challenged with health ailments. A running theme throughout this wonderful story is the celebration of differences. Zel differs from most children in many ways, and he is gay in an era when the laws forced people to keep such information secret. Luckily, Zel forms friendships early on with three other boys, and together, they face a number of challenges before one friend’s problem reaches a startling conclusion. I highly recommend this amazing story!
What a book.. what a story!
How can a book be 1500 pages and still feel too short? Ugh I guess I have to read Hyena Boy’s book too..
Reader Ready Award Recommended Read 2021
There’s nothing wrong with being different, it’s wrong that people think there is.
And, in lots of ways, I am different. I’m too thin. My eyes are too dark. I breathe funny. I’m genius level smart… but I’d rather be an artist like Aunt Zelda was. Not that my parents like that much, since they’d rather I wasn’t ‘wasting my potential’. But the thing is, I don’t just love art, I’m seriously good at it too. Maybe not as good as Aunt Zelda, but still really good; even if it’s not always easy to get everyone’s colours right.
That’s one of my secrets you know. The colours I see around people. The ones that tell me what everyone’s feeling. Most people can’t see them. But I can. And, from the way Aunt Zelda painted, I’m pretty sure she could too. It’s another thing that makes me like her, and something else that makes me different. That makes me, me. And one I’m totally not above using to my advantage, because, lets face it, what else am I going to use the world’s lamest superpower for?
There’s… another big secret I have. One which could get me into a lot of trouble if the wrong people found out. But it’s not like I planned on fancying him. I didn’t even realise I could fancy him till I already did. And there’s nothing wrong with me trying to find out if he fancies me back, is there? I mean, I have his colours right there, just begging for me to use them. So I should try to figure it out, shouldn’t I? Because… because I… I really want him to fancy me back, and then…
But if he doesn’t, that’ll be okay. I mean, I’ll make myself okay with it. Because he’s one of my best friends, and… and I’d rather he was in my life than not. And if Aunt Zelda figured out ways to make it okay, then… then I know I can too. I just… really hope… I don’t have to.
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Where do I start.
WOW, what a book! I have so many mixed emotions.
I took my time with this book, just to make sure I understood everything.
The writing is incredible, the characters are so real, dealing with very real life issues. My heart was over following with love and pride for them all.
This book is a must read
The Neva Aton Collection
Four boys who were made to be friends. Four stories with a bigger tale to tell.
Sly, Zel, Jay and Arian. Four boys who meet by chance and circumstance, but the friendships they form feel more like fate. Brought together by their sense of humour. Kept together because of the genuine bond they have with each other. Each with their own story to tell.
The Neva Aton Collection is a series of magical realism books which have been designed to be read in any order. Each story is able to stand alone, but when put together show the power the relationships around us can have on our lives.
What are you waiting for? Grab your copy today!
June 1, 2025
A fear of not being believed
What fears have you overcome and how?
Before I came out, as either ace spectrum or nonbinary, my biggest fear wasn’t rejection, but of not being believed.
I’d known I was some form of queer since my teens. But my parents separating because my mum fell in love with another woman, made it a lot harder for me to come out. I’d already experienced not being believed for things related to pain and fatigue, which would, as an adult, be revealed to have a very real cause. So not being believed because I was a teenager, in a broken home, with a queer parent, wasn’t an unreasonable fear to have.
I lived, for a long time, not feeling like a real person because I was forcing myself to appear cis and straight to the world, when I knew it wasn’t true. I felt like I was constantly chasing happiness, and never feeling truly happy.
It took the pandemic, and the realisation that I needed more… Deserved more… Deserved to feel real. Deserved to experience actual happiness. To give me the courage to come out.
May 31, 2025
Opening the door to Zelly’s enclosure
Describe one simple thing you do that brings joy to your life.
Whether she’s straight out, or emerges later, seeing Zelly descend onto the couch next to me is always a joy. As is watching her scamper about, sit on my lap, or stretch out in a sunbeam.
May 30, 2025
Adventures of a Non-Binary Author – Fixing a Completion Date
We get back from our weekend away, feeling like everything is on track. We have a provisional completion date which will allow us to avoid two months of rent and mortgage. Things are moving in the right direction. It’s just about figuring out the finer details now.
A call comes in before the end of the week. Our solicitor informs us our seller needs to move the completion date. It needs to be sooner than the provisional one, or else they’ll have to pull out. They can’t afford it otherwise. We’re told which week they would like us to complete in, so we check the calendar. Which days off do I have that week. We just need one of us. We’re not moving that day, just picking up the keys. We don’t want to lose another property, Not when we’re this close to the wire.
There are two dates I could do that week. We peg for the later of the two, so we have something to fall back on just in case. The date we’re suggesting is exactly ten days earlier than the previous one. Depending on how our provider works, we’ll most likely be paying two months of rent and mortgage. We can afford to, it’s just not the most ideal. Not when there are other things we want to do with that money this year.
It’ll be okay though. We’ll just have to delay some of the things by a month or two in order to recover. And we will recover. We have all the time in the world, so a slowed timeline isn’t the worst thing.
The new provisional date is set. Now we just want to fix it in stone. We do not want the seller to get it into their head that they could shift the date again. So we send our balance to the solicitor and wait. It’s kind of terrifying seeing so much money disappear over two days. But once it’s done we know we can prepare for contracts to exchange. Once contracts have exchanged the completion date is fixed. It won’t change again. And that, more than anything, is what we want now. We want to know which date we’re completing, so we can sort everything else from there.
The wait is agonising. And then… the solicitor calls for verbal confirmation. Contract exchange happens shortly after. We have a house. We have a completion date. And we have more than enough time to organise before we move. We still haven’t decided which day we’re moving yet. But we know we’ll be more than ready for it when we do…
To be continued…
May 29, 2025
We’re all introverts
What quality do you value most in a friend?
I guess the quality I value most, is the ability to go long stretches of time without being in contact, only to come back together like no time has passed. Any other quality would ignore the complex history and nature of a lot of my friendships. And I don’t have many to begin with.
