Ila Golden's Blog, page 11

Any public figure who opposes the rights of any minority group can get in the bin

What public figure do you disagree with the most?

Don’t say DEI, say Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. Make it clear you don’t want a playing field where any one but you stands a chance of succeeding.

By opposing those with different experiences, different view points, you’re preventing progress. Because echo chambers are stagnant, wanting to drag the world backwards.

If you support removing rights and access from those asking for nothing more than an even playing field. Then really ask yourself what are you doing.

Equal rights and the Equity needed to help everyone live aren’t limited pies. They benefit everyone.

Uplift the voices of the oppressed. Listen to those asking for no more than they need to thrive in a world that has been built to shut them out.

There is no victory in abortion bans, or toilet bans. There is only hate and a path towards less freedom for everyone who isn’t in power.

I want to be a full time author

What is your career plan?

I don’t strictly speaking have a career plan. I like my day job, and I’m currently enjoying working the position there I wanted. But my real desire is to be a full time author.

You could call it the childhood ambition that never went away.

A two person play

What was the last live performance you saw?

I can’t remember the name of the piece. But it was a two person performance. It was based around a couple of youths meeting online, the ups and downs of their friendship, and eventual love story. It was also a play about identity. Trans actors playing trans characters, as they come into their true selves.

All in all it was a well acted, interesting and engaging piece of theatre.

Adventures of a Non-Binary Author – The mortgage application

Our application goes in about a week after our offer is accepted. The lender we’re going with has a nice little timeline for us to keep an eye on. It should only take us a couple of weeks to know if we’ve been accepted or not. The first stage clears when expected. The second stage should be completed before the Easter Weekend. But that comes and goes without any progress.

We contact our mortgage advisor, when the date we should have our decision passes. He contacts the lender. Apparently they’ve forgotten to send an email. My proof of address needs to show my first name and not just my first initial. It takes me a few moments to find something. We’re still new at this address. There aren’t a lot of viable options, other than bank statements. Two of my three banks contact me with an initial not a name. But I strike gold with the third.

I email it to our mortgage advisor, who passes it on. Now we go back to waiting. There are a few long days of nothing. No sign that the stage we were waiting on has begun. No way of knowing how much of a delay this will cause. Then, finally, we see a little progress. The stage has been started. Everything else follows at breakneck speed. Before we know it our application has been approved.

We spend some time reading through our mortgage terms and conditions. We let our families know the good news after. This is starting to get very real now. Our home buyer’s survey has also come back. There are a few things we will need to sort over the first couple of years. But nothing we’re overly concerned about. All the enquiries with the seller have also come back without any concerns. And the solicitors surveys have also started trickling in.

Things seem to be on track. It’s all just a waiting game now. We’d like to complete in July. Technically our six months in the temporary digs takes us into August. So we’ve spoken to the landlord with a plan for July. Obviously we’ve not done more than talk in theoreticals. We’ve no idea how much more there is to be done before we can talk completion dates. Without a completion date we can’t make any definite arrangements with our landlord. Things moving as smoothly so far. Too smoothly. So we just have to hope there’s a way of creeping the completion date into the start of July. If not, well it’s not like we wouldn’t both love to move sooner. We just need to know what the consequence of that would be.

To be continued…

One day would never be enough

What’s a job you would like to do for just one day?

If I could only do a job for one day, I’d want to do something which made a real impact. That created positive and lasting change. But if it were possible to create lasting change in one day, we’d all be doing it. Lasting change requires more time and effort than is possible in 24 hours. It needs long term work and commitment to turn it from a change into a normal part of the societal landscape. So one day would never be enough.

I don’t care much about brands

What are your favorite brands and why?

Sometimes the branded stuff tastes better, lasts longer, or is better quality. But that’s not always the case. There are plenty of unbranded food and drink that tastes as good, if not better than its branded counterpart. I’ve known branded items to break quickly, when the unbranded version they replaced kept going and going. Sometimes even had to be used again after the branded one broke.

If the item is good. If it does the job. If it looks or tastes the way you want it to. Then the branding doesn’t matter.

Photos of a Sun Loving Gerbil, just because

Adventures of a Non-Binary Author – Bail or Crash

The sites which told me scooter riding was a good form of exercise weren’t wrong. With uphills to tackle in both directions, and the flats not exactly being level, its hard work. I cruise where I can. I enjoy the break every downhill I face gives. Well almost every one. The exception is the last down hill on the way home. It’s both steep and around a corner. A fairly blind corner at that. I use both front and back break to get me through it safely. But the first few times I tackled it, I needed to bail. I’d not quite figured out the speed to take it at yet. And, even though I’d probably have been fine, the safe hop off, and stop felt right at the time. .

The weather has been another factor to contend with. The first few weeks I was lucky. Clear skies on the way in and home. Then there were a few days where it was wet on my way home. Not just wet, but actually raining. Since I didn’t have a coat with me, I chose to bus home on these occasions. Using the short distance from the bus stop to our temporary front door, as a gauge for wet weather riding. Eventually I got my chance to test it out. First with roads that were wet from the night before, but not raining. Then with rain.

I made it without incident. If anything it felt like the wet weather was slowing the scooter down naturally. Of course I was using the break a little more, for safety. But, even without that, I wasn’t able to get the speed on hills I had previously. I wasn’t going to worry, as long as I was safe. Although I would definitely need to figure out my trouser situation. There was so much mud splashed on me the first time, it was almost ridiculous. I managed to wipe it off, so I looked presentable. But I knew that wasn’t the most ideal solution.

So now, here I am, more used to the wet weather riding, and the streets are finally dry again. I’m at the most confident I have been with the scooter. Enjoying the feeling of going faster, even if I can’t explain how the wet weather slowed my vehicle down so much. There have been a few near falls recently though. Not because of the wet weather, but the uneven terrain. I even experienced one on this trip home. I’m not sure if I was moving too slowly, or just hit it at an odd angle, but I certainly caught the edge of something jarring. Still, no falls yet. I’ve managed to avoid them all, somehow. So my confidence is peak as I approach the blind corner.

Maybe I’ve got too used to being slowed down by the rain. Maybe I’m moving faster because of the extra speed I used to cross the road. I always try to make sure nothing is coming, so I can take it at my pace. But the car had started moving before I was fully over. The turns are fairly tight though, a lot of foot control is needed. But that doesn’t’ mean I’m not approaching faster than normal. Certainly faster than I’ve been used to the last few times.

I think I’ve made it safely around the blind part of the bend. I start to release my foot from the back break, but I must step off too quickly. Either way I’m not in the best alignment as the scooter accelerates, and I’m at risk of crashing. No, not just at risk. I can’t bail safely at this speed, and the pavement is narrow. There’s a busy road next to me. I have a choice. Bail with a heavy landing. Or face first into a wall or lamppost.

Not that I really have time to think. Instinct takes over, and I bail. I land heavily on my left knee, Then my right knee and hands make contact. I’m still on a hill. My body is still in motion. So I end up forward rolling to protect my head. The pain from my knee is insane, as I curse what’s just happened. Repeatedly. I don’t give myself any time to recover though. There are people around, but I somehow doubt I’m going to get any help. So I pick myself up. My left knee hurts, but I can put weight on it. I get on the scooter. Home is not far, and this will be less stressful than walking.

I make it home, still cursing the pain. Once in, I throw the closest thing we have to an ice pack into the freezer. I then set about my usual evening routine. Moving more tenderly, because of the knee. I’m pretty sure it’s just bruised. The bruise is massive already though. That much I know from the examination I gave it whilst I was getting changed. I know it’s not happy with me getting on with my usual routine, but the pain isn’t getting more intense. So, yeah, I’m pretty confident it’s just a bruise.

Once the dishes are done, I get the ice pack onto my knee. I keep my leg elevated as much as I can, placing pillows to make the angle more comfortable. I do at least three lots of twenty minutes with the ice pack, before going to bed. It’s a Thursday evening. My partner has been out socialising, so only gets to see the damage when they get in. I’ve already made a decision not to scooter in if it’s too painful in the morning. I needn’t worry though. By the morning it doesn’t really hurt to walk or stand on. Yet more proof it was just a bruise. But I’m more cautious on the scooter going forward. I never want to experience a fall like that again.

To be continued…

The future

What gives you direction in life?

Focusing on where I want my life to be. The path I’m taking.

Sure I’ve taken some wrong turns. Sure the path has been a little more winding. But I’m always focused on where I want things to be.

Everything happens for a reason

Do you have a quote you live your life by or think of often?

My outlook on life is probably best described as an realistic optimist. I approach things with caution. I make plans for various outcomes. But, whatever happens, I keep moving forward.

Yes, I have an emotional reaction to it. If it’s a disruption to what I was hoping for, I’ll get mad, or cry, or whatever. But, ultimately, I believe everything happens for a reason.

I don’t know when or where I first heard that being said, but I do know it’s an idea I live my life by. It’s the optimistic part of my nature. It’s not the idea that we must suffer in order to appreciate the good. It’s just the reminder we can learn and grow from all of our experiences. Because good things happen for a reason too. Like falling in love. Or getting a promotion.

Life is about growth and change. So life, every part of it, every experience, every moment all happens for a reason.