Ila Golden's Blog, page 19
January 5, 2020
Welcome to a New Decade
So the last ten years were the first decade I spent entirely as an 'adult', beginning the 2010s already in my early 20s and ending it in my early 30s. In some ways its a scary kind of thought, because I feel as though I've 'grown up' more in this past decade than I did in the two which came before it.
At the start of the 2010s I didn't feel even remotely like an adult. Yes I was in my 20s, but I had very little life experience. I was in an online relationship that made me miserable. I'd just finished university and was trying to find a job. I knew I wanted to be a writer, but I had no idea how hard getting my work out there would turn out to be. Being told you're 'good' but having publishers and agents unwilling to take the risk because you're a complete unknown is really hard.
I was also pretty green back then. Falling for a couple of things I wouldn't have fallen for now. And that includes becoming employed by a company who literally drained the soul out of me for a year, whilst underpaying me, and making me feel like I was completely useless. Took them to tribunal just as I was starting the job that would set me up for the next nine years of my life. The job I'm still in now and happily call the 'day job' whilst I try to get my writing career on track.
I've also had to deal with unreliable people who shook my faith in others. Like the flatmate who midnight flit. I've also had to struggle finacially more than once this past decade, but that hasn't stopped me achieving my goal of becoming a home owner.
Yes I have grown up so much in the last ten years. Something that's reflected so much in my writing, my passion, my determination. So bring on the next ten years. That's what I say. I can't wait to see what happens next.
At the start of the 2010s I didn't feel even remotely like an adult. Yes I was in my 20s, but I had very little life experience. I was in an online relationship that made me miserable. I'd just finished university and was trying to find a job. I knew I wanted to be a writer, but I had no idea how hard getting my work out there would turn out to be. Being told you're 'good' but having publishers and agents unwilling to take the risk because you're a complete unknown is really hard.
I was also pretty green back then. Falling for a couple of things I wouldn't have fallen for now. And that includes becoming employed by a company who literally drained the soul out of me for a year, whilst underpaying me, and making me feel like I was completely useless. Took them to tribunal just as I was starting the job that would set me up for the next nine years of my life. The job I'm still in now and happily call the 'day job' whilst I try to get my writing career on track.
I've also had to deal with unreliable people who shook my faith in others. Like the flatmate who midnight flit. I've also had to struggle finacially more than once this past decade, but that hasn't stopped me achieving my goal of becoming a home owner.
Yes I have grown up so much in the last ten years. Something that's reflected so much in my writing, my passion, my determination. So bring on the next ten years. That's what I say. I can't wait to see what happens next.
December 31, 2019
New Year, New Decade
So its currently New Years Eve, I've already decided on my resolutions for the new year, but I'm not going out celebrating tonight because I'm working early tomorrow.
Still that doesn't mean it the realisation that a new decade is about to start doesn't have any meaning. Looking back over the last ten years, and how much I've accomplished, how much I've changed. My first decade where I've spent the whole of it as an adult...
Okay now that's a scary thought.
Still that doesn't mean it the realisation that a new decade is about to start doesn't have any meaning. Looking back over the last ten years, and how much I've accomplished, how much I've changed. My first decade where I've spent the whole of it as an adult...
Okay now that's a scary thought.
December 29, 2019
Today's thoughts
It's not easy thinking of something new to blog about every single day. So maybe I should just blog when I have something to say.
Then again most of my blogs have just been ponderings anyway, no real direction to them, just a string of related thoughts.
And sometimes a string of thoughts can create something interesting all on their own, without any need to focus.
After all at we all always tied up in some train of thoughts with or without any real direction?
Then again most of my blogs have just been ponderings anyway, no real direction to them, just a string of related thoughts.
And sometimes a string of thoughts can create something interesting all on their own, without any need to focus.
After all at we all always tied up in some train of thoughts with or without any real direction?
December 27, 2019
Can't just stay asleep
I don't sleep properly as is. More like deep meditation most nights. Its why I spend all day yawning like there's no tomorrow. But lately I've been finding it harder to convince myself to just keep my eyes closed and not worry about it it. There are just too many other thoughts in my head.
This morning it's 'don't miss the post'. I'm having an item redelivered. It's important I don't miss it. So even though my post normally arrives between 9 and 11 I'm awake at 5 wondering if I should just get up now so I don't miss it because I'm in the shower.
It's ridiculous, but I guess there's not much I can do now that I'm awake anyway. Guess it's time to just get up. What a long day I have ahead of me...
This morning it's 'don't miss the post'. I'm having an item redelivered. It's important I don't miss it. So even though my post normally arrives between 9 and 11 I'm awake at 5 wondering if I should just get up now so I don't miss it because I'm in the shower.
It's ridiculous, but I guess there's not much I can do now that I'm awake anyway. Guess it's time to just get up. What a long day I have ahead of me...
Being your own fan
It's an odd thought to have, I understand, but as a writer its important to love your own work. After all, if you're not enjoying it, how do you expect anyone else to. But I don't just enjoy my own work. I'm a huge self-commited fan of it.
When I'm editing I always find myself stopping after certain scenes or moments, and squealing like someone just reading it for the first time, and not the millionth. It doesn't matter that I know where its going, although I'll always have a moment after where that comes into play too. I mean, doesn't the fact that I don't get bored with what I'm editing mean something too? The fact I can get just as excited the millionth time I read as I got the first has to mean something.
On a very basic level it means I'm a fan. I'm a fan of my own writing. That can't be a bad thing. I mean, I've poured all this love into it for a reason, haven't I? I should be allowed to enjoy it, should I? So... I do.
When I'm editing I always find myself stopping after certain scenes or moments, and squealing like someone just reading it for the first time, and not the millionth. It doesn't matter that I know where its going, although I'll always have a moment after where that comes into play too. I mean, doesn't the fact that I don't get bored with what I'm editing mean something too? The fact I can get just as excited the millionth time I read as I got the first has to mean something.
On a very basic level it means I'm a fan. I'm a fan of my own writing. That can't be a bad thing. I mean, I've poured all this love into it for a reason, haven't I? I should be allowed to enjoy it, should I? So... I do.
December 26, 2019
The little things
So it's boxing day, and I'm spending the evening home alone after work. On my way home from work I picked up a few bits for a treat like dinner. I have pita bread at home, so filling a couple of those is the plan.
Get in, do a little housework because there is no rest for the wicked. Then time to sort the dinner. Its simple but so satisfying.
Sometimes that's all you need to make your day.
Get in, do a little housework because there is no rest for the wicked. Then time to sort the dinner. Its simple but so satisfying.
Sometimes that's all you need to make your day.
December 24, 2019
Travelling is the worst
On a bus travelling to spend Christmas with family. The journey is over an hour and I'm already feeling sick.
I don't do a lot of travelling because it plays up my vertigo. I always end up feeling sick and headachy and just wishing the damn journey would just be over already.
Not much I can do though. Oh well will be worth it.
I don't do a lot of travelling because it plays up my vertigo. I always end up feeling sick and headachy and just wishing the damn journey would just be over already.
Not much I can do though. Oh well will be worth it.
December 23, 2019
T'was the night before the night before Christmas
I don't really get excited about Christmas anymore. Its not that I don't enjoy the holiday, I do, for the family aspect. But that often doesn't happen on Christmas day anymore.
My brothers don't live locally, and to me its not Christmas when they're not around. So my Christmas tends to happen after Christmas Day when they're around.
But it's still almost Christmas. One more shift to go before a festive day off. Then my real Christmas will be at the weekend.
My brothers don't live locally, and to me its not Christmas when they're not around. So my Christmas tends to happen after Christmas Day when they're around.
But it's still almost Christmas. One more shift to go before a festive day off. Then my real Christmas will be at the weekend.
December 22, 2019
Best praise you can give an Indie Author
'You're really talented, what the hell are you doing still working here?'
Okay, not going to lie, that's a paraphrase of what was actually said to me today, but it still feels like a really good thing to hear.
My reply was, of course: 'the problems never been a lack of talent, more a lack of advertising'.
Hands down best move I've ever made for my writing was taking it onto KDP.
Okay, not going to lie, that's a paraphrase of what was actually said to me today, but it still feels like a really good thing to hear.
My reply was, of course: 'the problems never been a lack of talent, more a lack of advertising'.
Hands down best move I've ever made for my writing was taking it onto KDP.
December 20, 2019
When I Could Be Sleeping
I'm a shift worker with days off scattered throughout the week, and, after having to get up for the day job the last three days, I am now awake way too early on my day off.
Of course book anxiety doesn't help. My brain just constantly wants to know how things are going. In fact I think the only time the book anxiety is in check is when I'm working the day job. It's so busy pre-Christmas there's really no time to think.
Even so I'm tired and wish my brain would shut up and let me have a little more sleep.
Of course book anxiety doesn't help. My brain just constantly wants to know how things are going. In fact I think the only time the book anxiety is in check is when I'm working the day job. It's so busy pre-Christmas there's really no time to think.
Even so I'm tired and wish my brain would shut up and let me have a little more sleep.
