Ila Golden's Blog - Posts Tagged "thoughts"
Anxiety of an Indie Author
Waking up at 5 in the morning to check my KDP sales and page read only to have my heart sink from the lack of change since the last time. Its hard being unknown and unnoticed, so I try to go back to sleep, thinking about all the things I could do to get a little more notice. It's Hyena Boy's re-release day after all.
More anxiety. I made changes for the second edition. I went through it carefully, but was it careful enough? Have I left some huge mistake that'll make it look horribly unprofessional? It's been hard enough worrying over The Colours I See, and that only released 17 days ago, why'd I put myself through this again so soon.
I know why. They're both part of The Neva Aton Collection. I want to make sure both books are easily connected. I had to get them both onto KDP for that, so why not spruce up Hyena Boy in the process, make it a proper 2nd Edition.
Still anxious. Still dark out. Too early to get up yet. Put phone back down. Try to sleep a little longer. Try to think of all the ways I can get my books noticed.
6am. Awake again...
More anxiety. I made changes for the second edition. I went through it carefully, but was it careful enough? Have I left some huge mistake that'll make it look horribly unprofessional? It's been hard enough worrying over The Colours I See, and that only released 17 days ago, why'd I put myself through this again so soon.
I know why. They're both part of The Neva Aton Collection. I want to make sure both books are easily connected. I had to get them both onto KDP for that, so why not spruce up Hyena Boy in the process, make it a proper 2nd Edition.
Still anxious. Still dark out. Too early to get up yet. Put phone back down. Try to sleep a little longer. Try to think of all the ways I can get my books noticed.
6am. Awake again...
Being your own fan
It's an odd thought to have, I understand, but as a writer its important to love your own work. After all, if you're not enjoying it, how do you expect anyone else to. But I don't just enjoy my own work. I'm a huge self-commited fan of it.
When I'm editing I always find myself stopping after certain scenes or moments, and squealing like someone just reading it for the first time, and not the millionth. It doesn't matter that I know where its going, although I'll always have a moment after where that comes into play too. I mean, doesn't the fact that I don't get bored with what I'm editing mean something too? The fact I can get just as excited the millionth time I read as I got the first has to mean something.
On a very basic level it means I'm a fan. I'm a fan of my own writing. That can't be a bad thing. I mean, I've poured all this love into it for a reason, haven't I? I should be allowed to enjoy it, should I? So... I do.
When I'm editing I always find myself stopping after certain scenes or moments, and squealing like someone just reading it for the first time, and not the millionth. It doesn't matter that I know where its going, although I'll always have a moment after where that comes into play too. I mean, doesn't the fact that I don't get bored with what I'm editing mean something too? The fact I can get just as excited the millionth time I read as I got the first has to mean something.
On a very basic level it means I'm a fan. I'm a fan of my own writing. That can't be a bad thing. I mean, I've poured all this love into it for a reason, haven't I? I should be allowed to enjoy it, should I? So... I do.
Today's thoughts
It's not easy thinking of something new to blog about every single day. So maybe I should just blog when I have something to say.
Then again most of my blogs have just been ponderings anyway, no real direction to them, just a string of related thoughts.
And sometimes a string of thoughts can create something interesting all on their own, without any need to focus.
After all at we all always tied up in some train of thoughts with or without any real direction?
Then again most of my blogs have just been ponderings anyway, no real direction to them, just a string of related thoughts.
And sometimes a string of thoughts can create something interesting all on their own, without any need to focus.
After all at we all always tied up in some train of thoughts with or without any real direction?
New Year, New Decade
So its currently New Years Eve, I've already decided on my resolutions for the new year, but I'm not going out celebrating tonight because I'm working early tomorrow.
Still that doesn't mean it the realisation that a new decade is about to start doesn't have any meaning. Looking back over the last ten years, and how much I've accomplished, how much I've changed. My first decade where I've spent the whole of it as an adult...
Okay now that's a scary thought.
Still that doesn't mean it the realisation that a new decade is about to start doesn't have any meaning. Looking back over the last ten years, and how much I've accomplished, how much I've changed. My first decade where I've spent the whole of it as an adult...
Okay now that's a scary thought.
