Ila Golden's Blog, page 9

Adventures of a Non-Binary Author – Travel, Escape Rooms and Castles

Nine days off work. I hadn’t been expecting that. Since usually when I book a weekend’s holiday, I still have some working days that week. I guess the difference was booking four days instead of three. I only do a four day week. If I take four days of holiday in that week, I’m not supposed to work the remaining three days. I can appreciate that.

I spend the first three days just relaxing. Making sure I keep on top of my weight as best as I’m able. The weekend will be overindulgent. The less weight I put on overall, the easier it will be to get it off again after. Keeping my weight within a certain range is part of my pain management. It is not always the easiest to achieve.

Thursday we travel. We don’t own a car, or drive. In total takes us eleven hours, one bus, two couches, and a train to reach our final destination. Or at least, our final destination for Thursday. The wedding we’re here for is on Saturday. In a different location. But we’ll have a lift for that. The journey up isn’t one continual transit. The bus gets us into the city center with enough time to pick up a few bits before the first coach. We have a two hour stop over between coaches. After the second coach there’s a twenty minute walk to the station. Little bits of air to break up the nauseam of traveling.

We keep the evening simple. Freshen up after the long day of travel. Takeout in the hotel room. TV for entertainment.We both end up going to bed earlier than normal. It’s been a long day.

Friday is a free day. We walk over to my partner’s parents’ place in the morning to say hello. We have plans for lunch, booked weeks ago. Only those get canceled before we set out for the train. Still, that’s no reason not to make a day of it. We find a nice little market place for lunch, situated in a market. We potter around the shops for a while, before making firm plans. Escape room time.

We love escape rooms. And there are some near enough to where we are that we can do. We kill the time before we can start, with more travel and shops. The room itself is a chocolate factory. And there is actual chocolate inside. I pretty much ace the taste test challenge by myself. The rest of the room we solve perfectly together. There’s only one challenge we solve through guess work. At the end there’s lots of chocolate for us to take home, so definitely a satisfying room.

The evening meal is with my partner’s dad. He’ll also be staying in the hotel with us tonight. Along with other members of my partner’s family in town for the wedding. My partner is one of the bride’s older siblings. The wedding itself is in a Welsh Castle. The wedding is also not till mid afternoon. So we’re able to spend all Saturday morning in the hotel room. Leaving about fifteen minutes before checkout, ready for our lift.

We get changed once we arrive, then explore the castle grounds for a bit. There’s still a lot of time to kill before the wedding. Soon enough that time is killed making small talk with my partner’s family. I’m not the most naturally social. Especially with people I don’t know, or have only met the once. But it’s fine. We are not here for us. And small talk with relatives is just the norm for these kinds of events.

The wedding is nice. The day goes smoothly. And all too soon we’re in bed again, in preparation for another day of travel. Travel home this time. By train. One changeover. Plus the bus on the other end. We’re home within six hours. Still a long day, but nowhere near as bad as Thursday. Now we can turn our focus back to the house again, and fixing our completion date…

To be continued…

No.

Do you practice religion?

I’m agnostic. I do my best to live a good life, with genuine respect and understanding for others. I believe many voices… different, unique voices make a stronger whole. I believe in doing no harm, and recognising my mistake when I’ve caused harm unintentionally. I do not practice religion, but I respect those who do.

Yes

Do you remember life before the internet?

We did not get Internet at home until my early teens. We did have a computer before that, however, as my dad could see the benefits of learning computer literacy. This was the 90s. Our first Internet connection, when we got it, was dial up.

Creating stories and characters

What are you good at?

Writing is an art form. Art is subjective. I know not everyone will get on with my writing style. But I am a passionate storyteller, with a focus on characters and relationships.

Societal expectations vs personal goals

What does “having it all” mean to you? Is it attainable?

To ‘have it all’ should be personal. It should mean achieving everything you need to be happy. It should be based on your own personal wants and goals. And yet the phrase ‘having it all’ is heavily coded in social expectations of what a person should want to achieve. A family. A well paying job. Owning a home. Being able to afford certain luxuries, such as holidays. Things not everyone wants or needs to be fulfilled, but things society says should fulfill us.

An individual may feel they ‘have it all’. That they have obtained their own personal fulfilment. Reached their own goals. But the social construct of ‘having it all’ may deny them saying so, if their version does not match the manufactured expectations.

Ears not yet in existence

Who would you like to talk to soon?

We are not yet expecting. My partner and I plan to start trying soon though. Saying hello to our first child is a moment I’m definitely looking forward to.

Oldie

What personal belongings do you hold most dear?

When I was 7, I received a Christmas gift that would become a companion for the ages. It was a plush replica of a character from a TV show I loved. Old Bear. The titular Old Bear.

As a child, he would not always be the bear of choice for holiday travels. But he would be a consistent companion none the less. He would come with me to uni. He would be saved from the bin, when my stepmother decided to throw him and my other bears away, because I was ‘too old’ for them. She accused them all of smelling too, so I put them all, including my Old Bear, through the wash. Then returned them all to my room once they were dry.

He’s lived with me in 7, soon to be 8, different places, since I’ve lived independently. A companion of over 30 years. A life time of memories wrapped up in a bear, affectionately called Oldie.

Photos from the pet sitter

Do you have any collections?

I have a collection of photos sent from our pet sitter during our recent trip to Wales.

Enjoy 20+ pics of Zelly

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Kindness and inspiration

What is the legacy you want to leave behind?

Adventures of a Non-Binary Author – Setting a date

Mortgage offer through. Enquires satisfied. Home buyer’s survey complete. What was next? That’s what we ask ourselves, as we wait for you offer to reach our solicitor. Should we be thinking about moving dates now? It doesn’t take long for us to have our answer. Yes. The next step is setting a completion date. And it can be from as early as two week’s time.

But what about our tenancy? Before we can make any decisions we need to speak with our landlord. We’ve already spoken with him previously, with a plan for July. We need an idea of what would happen if it’s earlier than that. Our talk with him is productive. If we wish to leave earlier than July, we would need to help fill the rooms. Else the July plan is still good.

My partner and I take some time to discuss. We know we want some overlap between the two places. We are currently in May. The end of June is so close it makes almost no difference. If we have to pay for July here, completing in July would make more sense for us. But the overlap could work from the last week of June. We can move out whenever we need in July, we just need to be here in July.

We agree the July plan is the least stressful. We can move on our timescale, without the pressure of others waiting to move in. We tell our solicitor only about the July plan. He doesn’t think an end of June, beginning of July completion should be an issue. He puts the ball into the seller’s court.

It doesn’t take long to hear something. Last week of June would work best for the seller, when’s the earliest we could complete? I straight away contact my business manager. I don’t know what I’m working that week, but it’s likely she’s working on the schedule soon. I ask about the first three days of the last week of June. Do I have any of them off. I let her know I’m asking for completion, but that we would be moving in July. I don’t want days off I don’t need. We wait. It doesn’t take long for us to get our answer. I have two of those dates off.

It makes the most sense for us to complete on the earlier of the two dates. The later one can be used for white goods. So that’s the date we give our solicitor. Now we just need to wait for it to become official, and decide when in July we are moving. With everything we went through last time, who’d have thought it would all go so smoothly? Our new house is within reach. It’s only a matter of time now…

To be continued…