Jarrod Kimber's Blog, page 102

Klinger sings

The first time I heard about Michael Klinger we were both 16.

Now we are both old.

At 16 Klinger was a batting prodigy, and I was a dodgy leg spinner with a bad attitude.

Over the years I always wanted him to do well for Victoria.

It rarely happened.

Generally he would make a slow start, almost stop scoring, and then stay at the crease for a while before going out.

It was painful, no one liked it.

This went on for almost 10 years.

It got to the point where I named him the Hebrew Hammer...

retiring

Since this is a day for my sponsors, I wouldn't want to tarnish that with a loud press conference, so I shall just read my statement without taking any questions.

It is with both disappointment and sadness that I am today announcing my retirement from all forms of retiring.  I do not take this decision lightly, retiring has become such an integral part of my life, but I know the desire to retire is no longer in me.

The decision to end my retirements came yesterday after consultation with my...

Victoria wins the County Championship

It has been a up and down year for the Victorian Outlaws of Nottinghamshire.

Running to the front of the class when David Hussey and Darren Eyelids Pattinson were playing as they were completely inspired by the fact Dirty Dirk Nannes had decided to play for them in the T20 tournament.

Then trouble started. And by trouble, I mean a complete lack of cricket motor skills.  It was as if the whole team was on absinthe.

It is now clear that when David Hussey left the county to represent the real...

playing with Claire Taylor at Lord's

The Wisden Cricketer holds a cricket day every year.

This year it was at Lord's, which you may have heard of.  This meant I got to play at Lord's on the Nursery ground (you can't have everything) with several members of the English Women's Cricket team.

My team was captained by Claire Taylor, yes Claire fucken TAYLOR, best batsman in the world Claire Taylor.

She also kept wickets, I stood next to her at slip.  It was just me and Clare Taylor in the cordon at Lord's.  For all of 3 balls.

Then I...

the new shoeless joe jackson

8 men out, the Hollywood film about the black sox scandal from 1919, was on TCM tonight.

Whether any of the Pakistani players – all of which would be in hotels with access to sky – saw it ,I couldn't say.

If they did, they might have seen an interesting tale.

For those who haven't seen it, or know little about the story, it is the incident that started the "say it aint so, Joe" phrase that is overused in any situation like this comes from.  8 Chicago white sox lost the '19 World Series on...

how Victoria started me drinking

By losing.

That is how.

It has been a long time since I have seen the Vics play live, about 12 months.

These days I find out the result in full.

I don't have to go through the pain of waiting of watching, listening or reading updates of how the game is.

I just crack up my phone, find the page and feel good or bad.

Yesterday I had to watch.

Seeing the first ball find the rope.

Then the first over costing 17 from Dirty Dirk Nannes.

I had to sit through both of Shane Harwood's overs.

Everytime David...

sledging Kamran Akmal

During Friday's ODI game Kamran Akmal threw a hissy fit in the direction of Jonathan Trott.

It seems that Kamran thought Trott had made a sledge about NOTW exclusives.

Now, while I understand the need to sledge Kamran Akmal, for spot fixing or otherwise, I'd like to think Trotty could use some of these in the next ODIs.

"Hey Kamran, have you ever thought of auditioning for the Pakistani Live Action Simpsons film, perhaps for the Moe Syzslak role?"

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"Your brother wears green lipstick, and he is...

why Imran Khan will always be cooler than Shahid Afridi

Faran sent me one youtube video, but who can ever watch only one youtube pepsi pakistani cricket video?

Then I realised that Irman and Shahid were sort of having an ad contest, so i put them to the test.

This ad tries to be funny.

It succeeds, but probably not on purpose.

This is pure greatness.

It has headbands, and a kickin' camp tune.

Shahid still has more in him.

You can't win against Imran with a sweaty forehead and by throwing a ball at me.

Imran chucked this one in for the knock out.

Ga...

the bookie podcast

I thought a bookie should talk about the whole match/spot fixing nonsense.

So I got Craig from Cricket Bet Live in.

Have a listen, if you want.

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the digital version of when freddie became jesus

I know some people like the kindle things, and digital things, and things like that.

So with that, my book is now kindley and stuff.

Ofcourse, for some people a book is too long, or too expensive, so here is word's 100 word auto summary of the book.

"*Not every ball.

One ball.

Australia

England

England

Australia

England

Australia won 2-0.

England still lost. Australia won 2-1.

England won 2-0.

England

7 runs from 6 balls required.

Australia

England

Spin bowling

Australia were back.

England's batting was...