Gary L. Thomas's Blog, page 7

Catching Up: A Meaningful Trip Back to Virginia

From time to time, we like to go “behind the scenes” and give a more personal recording, and this is one of those times. It’s been a particularly busy season with the death of my father and all that led up to it and the aftermath, but last weekend God showed his typical kindness with a very special trip back to Manassas, where we lived for most of the nineties. Prior to speaking at Park Valley Church in Haymarket, Virginia, I and Lisa had a fun time reminiscing and thanking God for where He has brought us.

Watch this video over on Substack HERE.

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What You Must Kill So That Your Ministry Can Live

Shortly before J.I. Packer died, he was asked what his final message to the church would be. His four-word response was spot on: “Glorify Christ every way.” When you add in six words from Philippians 2:3—“Do nothing out of selfish ambition”—you have the formula for a successful life of ministry. Embolden, underline, and italicize the word “nothing,” meditate on it, and don’t deviate from it, and you’ll have a fairly solid platform for ministry.

As one who is on the older end of life (63), having seen many rise and many fall; many succeed who I kind of wish wouldn’t have, and many work from a relatively small platform that I think should be increased a hundredfold but they continue to labor primarily in quiet, I’ve arrived at a few conclusions about ministry, notoriety, and service.

I’ve preached in some of the nation’s largest churches, and likely some of the world’s smallest (about 30 in an Italian church last year). As doors open and close at this point in my life, God has increasingly challenged me to think about opportunities through a different grid than my “natural man” would have me. For however long God grants me not just life but the ability to minister (J.I. Packer’s last couple of years were quiet ones, ministry-wise, due to health issues), I must be (and I hope, you will be) vigilant about killing pride and selfish ambition. Pride and selfish ambition must die if true ministry is to live.

Continue reading this blog over on Substack HERE.

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What Praying for Your Children Does for You

While I’m sure every thoughtful Christian parent prays regularly for their children, we may not realize what praying for our children does for us. William Law opened my eyes to several ways that praying for our children benefits us. You might think of some others–please share them in the comments.

I’ve been in several marathon training groups that began meeting months before a marathon. It’s astonishing to see how a little bit of daily training takes very ordinary, often very unathletic people, and gently but steadily leads us to a place where we can start running twenty-six miles around breakfast time and finish sometime before lunch.

If we took spiritual progress this seriously—and we should (Matthew 5:48)—what “spiritual workout” will move us steadily and consistently toward spiritual fitness?

William Law, a classical writer who taught the church almost three centuries ago, says that one of the most effective workouts we could ever perform for ourselves is regularly praying for our children’s spiritual welfare.

How does praying for our kids help us grow?

Continue reading this blog on Substack HERE.

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9 Ways to Connect with God

You connect best with God and grow spiritually in one of nine unique ways. Learn how to lean into your spiritual temperament and how to appreciate other people who engage with God differently.

Here is a glimpse into session one for the video series for Sacred Pathways.

Watch this video HERE.

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The Courage of the Aged

The man walking in front of me down the narrow hotel corridor was going so slow. And it was breakfast time. I’m in a hurry in the morning; there’s much to do.

But then I saw his left leg drag a bit and noticed how his left arm dangled compared to the right, and it became obvious: he’s had a stroke. I slowed down and admired him. He was fighting to get to the breakfast area in a way I didn’t have to think about.

He was, of course, ahead of me in the breakfast line. The metal pan holding the bacon was about half full, but he picked up ninety percent of it and dropped it on his plate. My first thought was, “No way a man can eat that much bacon and live to be his age,” but my second, more informed and empathetic thought was, “He probably can’t manipulate the serving tongs to get less.”

He stepped back from the buffet line and promptly dropped all the bacon on the floor, along with his coffee. The line stopped. I helped him clean up as much as I could, but he didn’t want me to throw away the bacon that fell on the floor. Okay. Was he just trying to be considerate of the cost? Embarrassed and wanting to get out of there as quickly as possible? Who knows?

Continue reading this blog post over on Substack HERE.

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My Dad’s Last Act Was So Boss!

I don’t mean to turn this blog into a running commentary on my Dad, but if you’ll permit me one last opportunity, I’d like to share some final thoughts after going through his things. And then let me tell you about the last gift he gave my mom, which arrived four days after he died, on her 90th birthday.

I promise not to turn this column into a hagiography of my dad. But his example lives on, and a few lessons remain to be learned. So, this is probably the last post I’ll write about saying goodbye to him.

My dad figured, correctly, that he wouldn’t make it until my mom’s 90th birthday. In fact, he died four days prior. But he wanted to do something special for my mom on a special birthday, so he worked with my sister to make sure she’d get some beloved jewelry—a necklace and earrings. My mom loves jewelry. She doesn’t have expensive jewelry—my dad never made that much money—but she has a small dresser full of costume jewelry.

My dad was confined to a bed at the time, so there was no way he could go shopping, so he worked with my sister, told her what he was looking for, and she’d show him pictures. The first necklace was “too small.” He wanted to make more of a statement. The second one wasn’t colorful enough. He wanted something that kind of resembled flowers. The third option had dangling earrings, which my dad said he’s not a fan of (which was news to my sister and my mom, who has worn primarily dangling earrings for the 68 years they’ve been married).

Then, together, they agreed on the perfect set. I snapped a picture of my mom wearing the necklace and earrings after church on Sunday. After we flew in Thursday night, my mom showed me the necklace and earrings with performance-like care, as if she were laying out some precious artifacts discovered in King Tut’s tomb. Yeah, my eyes filled with tears. It was so like my dad to do this.

Continue reading this blog HERE on Substack.

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Time Well Spent

One of the most boring chapters in the Bible (Genesis 5) contains one of the most powerful sermons about earthly insignificance and our need to live reflective lives so that we can focus on what matters most.

Watch this sermon HERE on Substack.

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He’s Already Here

Last Friday was one of my favorite kinds of days—I wrote in the morning, went for a run along the Brushy Creek Trail in Austin, Texas, had a mid-afternoon barbecue lunch with Lisa (we were in Texas; BBQ is essential), texting with some friends we don’t see that often but really enjoy (I had found his doppelgänger online) and then spoke at Austin Baptist Church for the first session of the Lifelong Love marriage conference. The room was full, with a lot of energy, and some encouraging conversations about how the books have impacted people. It felt like a great start to the year, coming off seeing my parents.

I had two pretty meaningful dreams on two successive nights about my dad that I don’t feel free to share, but dreams are one of the ways God can get around my overly busy mind. I’m not into “interpreting” dreams—when God has something for me to know, the understanding comes with the dream. It doesn’t happen very often, but when it does, it’s clear.

On Saturday I did two more sessions at Austin Baptist Church and got a call during one of them from my oldest daughter. I of course couldn’t take it but Lisa told me she was calling to ask if I would officiate at her wedding this September and walk her down the aisle, and was it possible to do both? That put me on a spiritual high that any dad can imagine.

We went out to lunch with Jonathan and Bethany Spencer (Jonathan’s the senior pastor at ABC) and Matt and Adrian, another staff couple, and then I touched base with a pastor from the Houston area for about an hour-long phone call. Ken Werlein and I go way back. I used to speak at his church over the summers before I was hired at Second Baptist. We’ve seen our kids grow and I love his company, so we talked about church, and our families, and then he prayed for me, ending by praying for my dad. During that prayer God dropped the thought into my mind, “Gary, he’s already here,” referring to my dad. Just as Ken and I hung up, I got a call from a family member telling me my dad had passed in the previous hour.

Continue reading this blog on Substack HERE.

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My Dad’s Last Spot

“This is where my dad will spend his final days.”

I looked at my dad lying in the hospital bed that had just arrived in my parent’s apartment (the lower level of my sister’s house). When Lisa and I were with him last month, helping him deal with the effects of a recent fall, the hospice nurse was adamant: “He’s done with the walker. Forever. He can only move in the wheelchair.”

My sister had me hide the wheelchair so he wouldn’t be tempted.

Now, even the wheelchair is history. He will lie in this hospital bed until the day he dies. This is it. It’s right next to a window that overlooks the Puget Sound, and on the evening I was there (the second night of his move to the hospital bed), an especially spectacular sunset greeted him. At the foot of his bed is an Aura frame that cycles through photos of his children and grandchildren (if your parents don’t have one, please get them one. Next to Step In Skechers, it’s really the best present grandparents can receive.)

I couldn’t get over the thought that this is where my dad will die. What’s it like for him to know that? No more walks. No more runs. No more trips to the store or coffee shops or even to church. At 95, he has a do-not-resuscitate order, so no one’s taking him to the hospital. And he’ll be cleaned in the bed. My heroic sister is making a dream come true for him: with her care and comfort, he can die in his home, surrounded by those he has loved and does love.

Continue reading this blog post on Substack HERE.

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Saying Goodbye to My Dad

On Sunday, after I preached three services at Cherry Hills, Lisa and I met with a premarital couple for almost an hour and a half, talking through some key issues in their relationship. It was a great time of ministry, but as soon as we got done, Lisa told me my sister had tried calling me four times.

My dad is dying, and my sister thought it might be that afternoon. Dad had what we believe to be a minor stroke, and my dad wanted to say goodbye. I immediately called back, and when Dad got on the line, that’s exactly what he said: “Goodbye!” It was just like him. He’s ready to be with his Savior. It’s been a difficult few years, and he’s been on home hospice care for a couple of months. Lisa and I were there in December when the hospice nurse said he had to put away his walker and use only the wheelchair. That was a hard blow for my dad. And now it’s difficult at times for him to even get in and out of the wheelchair. He’s ready to fly in heaven.

He’s 95, and he rallied a bit on Sunday and Monday, actually ate a little applesauce, but I’m flying out to Seattle (he lives with my sister in Tacoma) to see him today (Tuesday, as I write this). I have tickets to fly out there next week, but we’re thinking he might not have that long (but who knows?). And my sister could use some help and my mom some company. Imagine spending seventy years with someone, every day and night, and knowing you’re about to be alone. My sister is a saint—my mom won’t really be alone—but it’s, of course, not the same. My dad never traveled without my mom. Apart from a couple of hospital stays the last few years, she’s been with him every day and every night.

Continue reading this blog on Substack HERE.

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