Gary L. Thomas's Blog, page 5

A Controlling Spirit Can Devastate a Marriage

When “experts” talk about common marriage killers–financial problems, conflict problems, intimacy problems–they often leave out one of the biggest spiritual ones: a controlling spirit. Lisa and I talk about how seeking to control your spouse or manipulate your spouse is the opposite of love and the opposite of how God treats and loves us. We discuss how controlling is a demonic strategy instead of a biblical one, how to recognize the subtleties of a controlling spirit, and then offer two necessary skills to grow closer together in the face of perceived wants (without exhibiting a controlling spirit). 

Watch this discussion on Substack HERE.

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Thy Will Be Done

“May your will be done.” Matthew 26:42

This monumental statement is a declaration, not a resignation! It is an earnest desire, not a reluctant acceptance. We will never understand Jesus if we do not understand this prayer.

Henry Drummond points out that when we join Jesus in his famous prayer: “Thy will be done,” it’s usually offered in the spirit of something that has to be endured, a last-ditch resignation that God isn’t going to do what we really want Him to do so we might as well give up: “Well, we’ve exhausted every other alternative. I guess we’ll just have to rely on God’s will.” With a little sigh and throwing up our hands, we mumble this magnificently powerful prayer, “Thy will be done,” as if we were repeating a cliché, “There’s no use in crying over spilled milk.”

In this we might be repeating the words of Jesus, but we are entirely missing his spirit. Lent is about recapturing a God-centered focus, taking time away from the world to have a more heavenly motivation.

Continue reading this blog on Substack HERE.

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Pain and Glory, Mixed Together

“Jesus replied, ‘The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.’” John 12:23-25

This world has so many griefs, and the older you get, the more the griefs pile on. A dear man, a father of ten, who I respected as a father as much as any father I have known, recently died in his sixties, a victim of brain cancer. He faced his death with such courage, faith and grace, but he left behind so many grieving family members and friends who would have loved more time with him.

The best man at my wedding survived his first two treatments for cancer, but now lives with the uncertainty of knowing this kind of cancer is never fully gone, it is just latent, ready to spring forth again.

A college friend of mine just lost his thirty-something son in an industrial accident. A fellow pastor lost his daughter to what was likely a drug overdose in the same week. Another pastor friend has an estranged child. A beloved relative of ours has gone through a brutal stretch trying to conceive, and stop losing, young life in her womb.

When will it all end? The sobering truth is not on this planet.

Continue reading this blog on Substack HERE.

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Buy From Me!

Pastor Gary Thomas delivered a powerful and thoughtful message at Cherry Hills Community Church, focusing on the letter to the church of Laodicea in Revelation. He unpacked how their self-reliance led to spiritual complacency—and how we can fall into the same trap today. With clarity and insight, he challenged us to shift from independence to a daily dependence on God. Rather than settling for a lukewarm faith, we’re invited into a deeper, more honest relationship with Christ.

Watch this sermon HERE.

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Temptation

“Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.” Matthew 26:41

Francis of Assisi (1182-1226) lived a life of high highs and low lows. He experienced things in contemplation and meditation that most of us could only dream of. His disciples swore they saw him actually levitating many times. An imprint of his hands that were burned into a cave wall during an unusually intense spiritual struggle could be seen in the rocks 150 years after he had died. On Mt. Alverna, it is said that Francis received the marks of the Stigmata (the wounds of Christ) in September of 1224. While I don’t believe all that tradition says about this remarkable man, the incidents I’ve just mentioned were confirmed by so many people that I’m led to believe they are likely true, even if they sound fantastic.

And yet when you read Francis’ life, you learn that he was often beset by regular temptations and struggles. His spirituality was not one rapturous experience after another but was rather intertwined with struggle, sickness, infirmity, and even spiritual attack.

This is an important point because some of us mistakenly believe that the closer we draw to God, the easier life becomes and the less temptation overwhelms us. Christ in Gethsemane, however, should lay that thinking to rest. Spiritual maturity and obedience don’t lead to a carefree life, but to intense spiritual struggle. Part of observing Lent is to more intentionally and proactively engage in this struggle. Our tears of repentance during Lent, our renewed struggles against sin, will make the Hosannas of Easter and the forgiveness proclaimed through Christ’s resurrection sweeter.

Continue reading this blog on Substack HERE.

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So Great and So Violent a Love: A Lenten Devotional

“Because of his great love for us, God, who is rich mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.” Ephesians 2:4-5

Because of his great love…

When Francis of Paola (15th century) came across a crucifix, he spontaneously cried out, “O love, O love, O love!”

The crucifixion was an act of great love, a love that preceded our sins and for us today, even our existence. We cannot look at the cross and doubt God’s love, for never was love displayed in a rawer, truer, more authentic form than on the cross.

Alphonsus Liguori lived during the 18th century. He immersed himself in the most excellent works of Christians throughout the centuries. His own work, The Practice of the Love of Jesus Christ has as many quotes from the classics as it does his own thoughts. It is a how-to book on friendship with Jesus, and it begins, appropriately enough, by founding such a friendship on recognizing the love God lavished on us through Jesus’ death on the cross.

Continue reading this blog on Substack HERE.

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Better Than Infatuation: An Appeal to Make Cherishing a Movement

About five centuries ago, Copernicus revolutionized our understanding of the universe when he postulated what is now universally accepted: the Sun, not the Earth, is at the center of our solar system. Archimedes, Plato, Socrates, Augustine, and Aquinas all lived without understanding a basic truth that any educated person today takes for granted.

One hundred years later, just four centuries ago, Sir Isaac Newton discovered what we call gravity, a phenomenon that even a contemporary fifth-grader could describe.

The relative youth of basic knowledge is rather stunning. For all his wisdom and brilliant insight, Aristotle knew less of hard science—astronomy, anatomy, and even physics—than most advanced placement high school students do today. It’s remarkable to consider relatively recent advancements in intelligence and understanding.

In fact, a TV series like Mad Men, initially set just sixty years ago, seems like a ridiculous relic of an atrocious past—men treated women like that? People were that insensitive to race issues?

Just as intellect and social understanding have grown, so our love should grow, as well as our view of what marriage can and should be. What was accepted as the highest and truest love in the ancient world of Paris and Helen of Troy, or the medieval world of Shakespeare, or the romantic era of Jane Austen, might perhaps look rudimentary to spiritually perceptive persons today, if we were to apply the same scientific methods to love and marriage as we do to science. Yes, of course, Jesus defined the very highest love for us about two thousand years ago, but how this love applies to the way a man loves his wife and the practical way a wife loves her husband can still evolve, as so much of other human understanding has.

Continue reading this blog on Substack HERE.

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Prideful Penitence

To keep a proper focus during Lent, it’s vital that we remember there’s a right way to be penitent and a wrong way. Prideful penitence can actually take us backward in our spiritual life. This devotion uses the insights of sixteenth century priest Lorenzo Scupoli to help keep us on track.

In all honesty, I’m not sure what percentage of Christians this particular Lent devotion applies to. All around us in the world we see people sinning without remorse, without even a tingle in their conscience. Guilt is seen as absurd or even unhealthy in some quarters. Pointing out sin seems to some like something the “old” church got wrong. The “loving” church speaks of grace, welcome, and forgiveness exclusively.

But some Christians, for whom this devotion is written, get bogged down in guilt and despair when they enter into a time of penitence. That’s not healthy either.

I once offended a younger couple when interviewing one of them for baptism, and it came out that they were living together. I asked the young man whether he was aware of the Bible’s teaching on sex being reserved for marriage, or whether he knew that’s what the Bible teaches but, for whatever reason, wasn’t following it. We can’t take this for granted. Premarital sexuality is so common that it’s very possible a couple may never have heard that the Bible has something to say about it. Pastorally, we need to approach that in a different way.

But this young man admitted that he knew, but had decided, for whatever reason, to live the life he was living. I said we could marry them, help them find a separate place to live, or explore other options for them, but it was too soon for them to be baptized until they addressed this ongoing sin. The biblical language is “repent and be baptized,” (Acts 2:38) which means we intend to leave our sin behind. Though we will never live perfect lives, our intent at baptism is to declare that Jesus isn’t just Lord, but our Lord, which is difficult to do if you get baptized knowing you will go home that night to share the bed of a man or woman you’re not married to.

We never heard from them again. Two of us reached out to them for follow-up—we wanted to walk through this with them; we weren’t rejecting them—but they apparently have no interest in a church like ours. I hope they come back.

Continue reading this blog over on Substack HERE.

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Watch Out!

The Bible has a lot to say about vigilance–an attitude of watchfulness about our spiritual life and relationships. All of us drift, and Scripture reminds us that yesterday’s victories don’t ensure we win today’s battles. This sermon fits in well with our Lent devotions, so we’re doing a video devotion today instead of a written one.

Watch this sermon on Substack HERE.

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For Your Future Happiness

Want to know what one of the biggest contributors to your happiness will be when you’re my age? Please indulge me as I reflect on being an empty nester, and what I’ve seen most contributes to the happiness of my empty nester friends, so that those of you still in the thick of raising your children can make use of my friends’ hindsight.

Millions of couples make monthly contributions to their retirement accounts so that they don’t “run out of money” in their senior years. That’s a wise thing to do. But did you realize you can also invest in your future happiness?

You can.

And how you do that may surprise you.

Writing as an empty nester, with a lot of empty nester friends, I can say with confidence that a big part of your joy in life when you’re older will be influenced by how closely your children are walking with the Lord. If they are not following God, you will endure some sleepless nights and broken hearts. If they are following God but face employment issues, health issues, marital issues, etc., the pain will still be real, but it will be an entirely different kind of pain.

Though we don’t “disciple” our kids primarily for what it does for us, the fact remains that one of the greatest contributors to your own future happiness will be helping your children connect sincerely with and grow in their devotion to Jesus.

Continue reading this blog post over on Substack HERE.

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