Gary L. Thomas's Blog, page 4

You Can’t Please God and the World: It’s One or the Other

I realize I’m jerking the paid subscribers around a bit, posting bits and pieces of several works in progress, but that’s part of the fun of what Substack offers: the chance to share works in progress, hopefully garnering feedback while I refine my thoughts. And I hope these words can be an encouragement to you, as it’ll be years before they are published in formal print. (This is likely going to be the book I’ll seek to publish after I publish the book on hurting Christian parents.)

Where this chapter fits into the book on divine affirmation: we won’t revel in divine affirmation if we don’t value divine affirmation. If we continue to seek our joy from the world’s approval and acclaim, we’ll stop seeking God’s approval and acclaim, as the two are at odds with each other. This is chapter three: after presenting the joys of being “good enough for God” (through Christ), it asks the reader, “Will this become more valuable to you than being good enough for the world?” In the end, we have to choose which “city” we want to dwell in — Babylon or Jerusalem.

A Tale of Two Cities:

Great in the Sight of the Lord

“Woe to the man that hath his portion in this life! O miserable health, and wealth, and honor, which procureth the death, and shame, and utter destruction of the soul!”

Richard Baxter[i]

God must have known that John the Baptist’s spiritual call would make him seem weird, abrasive, and an outcast. How could he get such a servant ready? What vision could he give him to replace what he knew John wouldn’t get from the world? John would have to derive courage from an entirely different realm because there would be no encouragement, no praise, no succor from this world to keep him going.

God prepared John the Baptist for a life of human alienation and suspicion by pouring out abundant divine affirmation. Before John was even born, an angel said, “he will be great in the sight of the Lord.”[1]

That sentence, “great in the sight of the Lord” is where divine affirmation is born. It is contrasted in the Bible with “great in the sight of the world.”

You could spend an entire afternoon trying to count how many times “Babylon” appears in the Bible.[2] She is the very picture of human greatness. She is called the “glory of kingdoms” (Isaiah 13:19) and often referred to as “Babylon the Great” (Revelation 17:5, 18:2). But these monikers are meant to be read as worldly evaluations, almost with sarcasm. “She seems so great and mighty, but watch her fall…”

In contrast to Babylon the Great, Jerusalem is “the Holy City” (Revelation 21:2). Notice the intentional difference in language. One city is “great” in the eyes of the world; another city is “holy,” i.e., set apart for God, great in the sight of God.

Do you want to be “great” in the sight of the world or “holy” and great in the sight of God?

Do you want to be defined by how the world views you or by how God views you?

At times (in fact, most of the time), these opinions will go to war against each other; if we don’t place all our hope, joy, focus, and energy on our allegiance to God, we’ll be torn apart in the inevitable struggle between allegiance to one or the other. If I’m a wide receiver playing in the NFL and the quarterback throws me a pass, I don’t have time to decide which end zone to run toward. If you’re playing soccer but have placed a bet on the other team winning, you’ll run circles in the middle of the field—do I kick this way, or that way? You’ll look like a fool.

Decisiveness is everything when it comes to living out of the affirmation of God and living for the glory of God.

God may not ask us to be as “weird” as John the Baptist was. We may not have to dress so unfashionably or eat locusts while we stomp around the desert and rail against the political authorities. But our motivation should be the same: to become “great in the sight of the Lord.” Who cares what anyone else thinks? Seek greatness in God’s eyes, and God’s eyes alone.

Continue reading this post on Substack HERE.

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Marriage Is a Team Sport

Did you know we have a devotional written for engaged couples to help them spiritually prepare for their special day and life thereafter? It’s called Preparing Your Heart for Marriage. If you know a couple that’s engaged, or even recently married, this might be a great gift idea for them. This is an excerpt from that book. 

“Make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

2 Peter 1:5-8

During the 2016 Summer Olympics, the U.S. volleyball team of Kerri Walsh Jennings and April Ross lost a rough semifinal match to the Brazilian team. Walsh, the most decorated female Olympic beach volleyball player ever, wasn’t having her best day, so the Brazilian team kept targeting her, directing most of their attacks her way. In a stunner, the U.S. team lost in straight sets—the first match Walsh Jennings had ever lost at the Olympics.

To her credit, Walsh Jennings took responsibility and said she just had to start playing better (which she did; she and April Ross went on to win the bronze medal).

Marriage is kind of like beach volleyball. There are two players per side, and the team can be only as strong as the weakest individual. If one partner has a persistent weakness, the marriage will suffer accordingly.

Continue reading this blog on Substack HERE.

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A Very Secular Ritual Benefit

There’s something I like to do at the start and end of the summer —a ritual that goes back to my teenage years. It’s very “secular” on the face of it, but it helps me remember a treasured practice from the Christian classics. I hope it might inspire a few rituals of your own.

Watch this video on Substack HERE.

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Hope for My Hurting Heart

Last year, I mentioned an upcoming book by Linda Dillow. Here’s what I wrote as an endorsement:

“Hope for My Hurting Heart is a treasure and a veritable spiritual

feast! If you read one devotional book this year, make it this one.

If you lead one book study with a small group, choose to go

through this one. Even the heartbreaking stories of faith inspire,

challenge, convict, and bless. Linda’s seasoned faith invites us

into a deeper intimacy with God and a trust in him that will

stand the trials of life. This is Linda’s magnum opus after a

lifetime of writing substantive, enlightening books.”

We’ve been given permission to give you just a small taste of the book (now available) in this week’s blog post. I hope many of you will order the entire book (see the link at the end).

Crystal and her husband, Doug, were living their dream as “cowboy” missionaries in Alaska. Doug was the horsemanship director at Victory Bible Camp, teaching lessons, leading trail rides, and caring for more than twenty-five horses. Crystal cared for their four sons, worked with the wranglers, and helped in the camp kitchen. Their sons were in boy heaven—mountains for their back yard, a small school, horses to ride, and wide-open spaces to explore.

Everything came to a screeching halt the day Doug had a supposedly “not difficult” surgery on his brain. After that surgery, his brain worked fine, but his entire body had shut down. He lost his ability to walk, speak, or eat. The family had to move to Kansas and learn a whole new way of living.

Read this blog on Substack HERE.

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Hope for Your Hurting Heart: A Mature Woman’s Powerful Testimony About Clinging to God Amidst Life’s Disappointments

Linda Dillow has been serving the Lord courageously and faithfully for decades. She’s served as a missionary in some closed countries, as a wise mentor and author helping women spiritually prosper in their marriages, and more recently has suffered some catastrophic personal and familial pains. In spite of it all, she has come out like one of the martyrs in the book of Revelation: faithful, praising God, filled with joy and wisdom. I’ve quoted several of her books in my own books and seminars, but her most recent book, Hope for My Hurting Heart: Eight Heart Skills to Help You Cling to God and Not Give Up is one of my favorites of hers. It provides practical skills to keep clinging to God amid life’s hardships.

I usually keep interviews short, but to do justice to Linda’s life and book, we talked for about an hour. This Friday, we’re running an excerpt of her book, which you can buy HERE. I wanted to give our paid subscribers a behind-the-scenes look at Linda’s life and faith before the excerpt drops. Also as a paid subscriber, you are invited to enter a drawing for one of two free copies of Linda’s book. Send your email to alli@garythomas.com, with the subject line “DIllow book” and you’ll be entered in the drawing.

I hope you enjoy the interview and buy the book, and if you do, I hope you will leave a review on Amazon and Christian Books. And for the potentially cynical, I am receiving no payment from Linda’s publisher for this or Friday’s post. This is a labor of love, and I believe it is a gift to the church.

Watch this discussion on Substack HERE.

The post Hope for Your Hurting Heart: A Mature Woman’s Powerful Testimony About Clinging to God Amidst Life’s Disappointments appeared first on Gary Thomas.

The Enthusiasm Factory

Looking for a great gift to give to an engaged couple that will help them get spiritually prepared for marriage?

Are you half of an engaged couple and want to enter marriage prayerfully and thoughtfully?

My book, Preparing Your Heart for Marriage: Devotions for Engaged Couples offers focused spiritual preparation for couples who are planning to get married. The second half of this devotional goes through every phrase of the Statement of Intent and the traditional marriage vows so that during a couple’s wedding, the language will be more than just familiar—it’ll be something they’ve talked about, prayed over, and committed themselves to, making the ceremony all the more special.

This is an adapted excerpt from that book, but the message is just as relevant for married couples as it is for those who are planning their wedding.

Continue reading this free blog on Substack HERE.

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God Is God

This is the second half of a chapter entitled, “How Come My Children Don’t Believe After All I’ve Done for Them is the Wrong Question.” It will refer back to earlier parts of that chapter, so if you haven’t read that post yet, you can read it here. In this chapter, I know I’m getting into some potentially controversial stuff, and what I so appreciate about Substack is the opportunity to “think out loud” and get some feedback, so please, let me know what you’re thinking. Feel free to challenge or confirm my theological reasoning here. I want to be a comforting pastoral voice for hurting parents, but I realize my need to lean on the body of Christ to hone the truth of the message, its tone, and its application. Thank you so much for being a part of this–and if you’re one of these hurting parents, I pray this will encourage and bless you.

I first started to title this section, “Let God be God” and realized how stupid that is. God is God, whether I think I’m “letting” Him be God or not! But my intended point is that even though we want something more than anything else—our children’s salvation—we can’t “out God” God and force His hand to make it happen—not with our “obedience,” unbroken prayers, years of fasting, or giving up all we have.

John White addresses this in a forceful manner. “God refuses to be the instrument of anything or anyone. Yet Christians unconsciously try to use him like that—by the ferocity of their faith, by their attempts to bargain with him.”[i]

Please, for your own sanity, just stop that. Your child’s salvation doesn’t rest on your prayers, your wisdom, your “faith” in your faith, subjectively trying to drum up a belief that thinks, “Since I have no doubt, what I want to happen will happen.”

God doesn’t give up being God to anyone—nor should He, least of all to you or me. It is far more beneficial for you to draw near to God for comfort and encouragement than to turn your relationship with God into a wrestling match over the current and future spiritual state of your children.

By all means, present your requests to God (Philippians 4:6)! By all means, fast (Matthew 17:21). But don’t make your relationship with God about your child’s relationship with God. Those are two different things. We are to follow God because He is God, not because doing so will guarantee our children’s salvation.

There is so much about God that we don’t know, we can’t know, and it would be tragic if you allow your child’s antipathy toward God to become a wedge between you and God.

If God granted none of my wishes—for my own sake or for my family’s sake—He has already treated me better than I deserve for what I have in Jesus. He is my friend and Savior, but above all that, He is my God, with all that implies. To me, that means I can and should present my requests to Him, but I must refrain from telling Him how to do His job or trying to control Him or coerce Him or use my affection toward Him as “leverage” to get what I want. What horrendous (and futile) manipulation that would be!

Continue reading over on Substack HERE.

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The Amazing Joys of Marriage

As couples prepare to get married, they’re often focused on finding a venue, picking out a dress and tux, getting flowers and a band, but more important than all of this is preparing their hearts spiritually for the relationship that will follow. That’s why I’ve written Preparing Your Heart for Marriage: Devotions for Engaged Couples. The second half of the book is based on the traditional wedding vows so that couples can pray, talk and think through ahead of time all that they will promise each other on that special day. This opening devotional is meant to be an encouragement for engaged couples, but hopefully will also serve as a helpful reminder to all married couples of the joys of being married. We speak often about marriage’s difficulties, but let’s take a moment to celebrate what’s so amazing about marriage.

I thought I was one of the world’s biggest fans of marriage, until I asked a question on Facebook (“What do you love most about marriage?”) and found out there are a ton of marriage fans out there. Perhaps it’ll encourage you to hear so many positive reports about what married people love about being married as you prepare to become married.

In Sacred Marriage I wrote, “I love marriage, and I love my marriage. I love the fun parts, the easy parts, and the pleasurable parts, but also the difficult parts—the parts that frustrate me but help me understand myself and my spouse on a deeper level; the parts that are painful but that crucify the aspects of me that I hate; the parts that force me to my knees and teach me that I need to learn to love with God’s love instead of just trying harder. Marriage has led me to deeper levels of understanding, more pronounced worship, and a sense of fellowship that I never knew existed.”

Sacred Marriage admits how difficult marriage can be, but also points out that when it is good, it can be very good. Jillian told me, “Marriage is hard…especially when you’re acting selfish….but it’s also an absolute blast!”

Continue reading this free post over on Substack HERE.

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“How Come My Children Don’t Believe After All I’ve Done for Them?” Is the Wrong Question

Parenting is humbling. Life is humbling. Both will teach us that we have far less control than we think–but that’s a good thing, when it moves us to find solace in the power and sovereignty of God.

I have no conscious remembrance of any stage of life when God was not the central factor in my thinking. I was baptized at eight years old, but God was factoring into my thoughts as early as I can remember.

Though I have many times failed at seeking first the Kingdom of God and have more than my share of sins for Christ to atone for, I have, for my entire life, at least aspired to seek first God’s Kingdom and to live a God-honoring life. Part of the reason I feel poorly about myself at times is that I know I have less excuse than most to not be further along on the road to sanctification.

One early morning in prayer, I sensed God leading me to ask what my dad did to lead me in this direction. I had never thought about it. I spend so much time as a pastor trying to help parents lead their children to Christ, to lead the young ones in our congregation to want to seek first God’s Kingdom and to want to obey Christ’s commands, so what did my dad do for me? Why wouldn’t I even reflect on that?

So I did.

My dad was a wonderful, even heroic husband. He was a great moral example of how to live a decent, hardworking life.

But when it comes to spiritual training, I don’t remember a single time that my dad prayed with me or for me.

I don’t remember a single conversation with my dad about how to love Jesus, or pray, or share my faith.

Continue reading this blog on Substack HERE.

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If I Had to Do Parenting Over Again: The Mind-Building Power of the Gospel

A friend of mine had an “oops”[i] baby—the kind that shows up eight to ten years after the youngest one. His oldest daughter was just graduating from high school, and she took the pregnancy personally:

“You’re just trying to replace me!”

Sweetheart, they really weren’t. Trust me.

As his oops baby grew into toddlerhood, I asked him how differently he parented the oops baby from the way he parented his oldest child.

“It’s night and day,” he admitted.

Every parent I’ve talked to in this situation gave me the same response.

Lisa and I had our three children within six years, so we missed this. If I could go back now and focus on parenting an “oops baby,” I would emphasize the message of this blog post even more.

Continue reading this free post on Substack HERE.

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