Fix Your Focus to Fix Your Marriage

You can dramatically impact how you feel about your imperfect marriage and your imperfect family by learning to fix your focus on our perfect God. J.I. Packer’s lessons from the life of Nehemiah offer a treasure trove of truth for anyone facing a challenge or discouragement today.

Do you want to cultivate and enjoy a great marriage?

Do you want to love your children, even as some of them may break your heart?

Do you want to see God use you in tremendous ways?

In one sense, it all begins in your head.

During my Cherish marriage seminars, I make the case that those who are able to sustain a cherishing marriage with an imperfect spouse (of course there are no perfect spouses) meditate often on the kindness and grace of God to them; those who give up cherishing their spouse meditate often on the faults and failures of their spouse. Since “we all stumble in many ways” (James 3:2), we will all be tempted to obsess over how our spouse stumbles instead of how our God triumphs. A high-functioning marriage depends largely on what direction our minds are pointed.

The same is true for loving our imperfect children, or for any lasting and great accomplishment for the Kingdom of God. Our thoughts encourage or discourage us on an hourly basis, growing hope or sowing the seeds of anger and fear.

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