Amy Julia Becker's Blog, page 25

Why Disability, Faith, Culture?

It was relatively easy to land on “Reimagining the Good Life” as my new tagline and the new title of my podcast. Those words helped pull together what I’ve been working through for decades. They were clear without being too concrete. They were intriguing without being too obscure.

But then came the question of whether to say anything more than that. In the past, I didn’t have a tagline. I just used my name and then some combination of “Faith, family, disability, and culture” as a way to describe the Venn diagram of topics I might cover. I needed to decide whether any or all of those terms should carry over into this new iteration of describing my work.

We landed on Disability. Faith. Culture.

The experience of disability has been my invitation into the work of reimagining the good life, so that word comes first. I used to be afraid that if I concentrated too much on disability, I would run out of things to say. Eighteen years into this life, however, I’ve found an endless series of things to learn and topics to consider and ways to reflect. Reimagining the good life through the lens of disability is here to stay.

That said, I also incorporate the lens of faith—implicitly or explicitly—in pretty much everything I do, so we wanted to include that as well. I didn’t want readers to have any sense of a “bait and switch,” though I also very much hope that readers who don’t share my Christian faith will always feel my writing is welcoming and accessible. Still, the way of Jesus has shaped and formed my understanding of the three things I hope to accomplish in this space, and I wanted to be clear about the way faith anchors my commitment to challenging the assumptions about what makes life good, proclaiming the inherent belovedness of every human, and envisioning a world of belonging.

And then there’s the word culture. It’s broad enough to mean nothing. Within this list, it really just means that I want all of this writing to be relevant to our actual daily lives within this time and place. Whether it’s looking at a movie like Barbie through the lens of disability, or wondering why Taylor Swift has such a huge following, or considering the way doctors deliver a diagnosis of Down syndrome—I want the work I do to connect to our lived experiences.

I wrote in my book Small Talk that “limitations, properly understood, lead to love.” Placing these limits on my writing work has not led to love, exactly, but the limits have led to a sense of freedom. They give me a filter for which topics to pursue, which books to read, which podcast guests to interview, and how to imagine a good future for the little corner of the internet I inhabit.

Creating this definition has given me clarity on courses I want to teach (information about the first workshop, in May, called Reimagining Family Life with Disability, coming soon), talks and essays I want to write, and books I hope to create.

MORE WITH AMY JULIA:

Reimagining the Good Life. Disability. Faith. Culture.Reimagining the Good Life PodcastIt’s Always Too Much | Four Thousand Weeks

Subscribe  to my newsletter to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , and  YouTube , and you can subscribe to my Reimagining the Good Life podcast on your favorite podcast platform. 

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Assume That I Can, Maybe I Will

“Assume I can, and maybe I will.” It’s a new ad campaign designed to raise awareness about the assumptions people have about people with Down syndrome and the abilities of people with Down syndrome that might challenge those assumptions.

In so many ways, this ad campaign sums up what we’ve realized is true about our daughter Penny. Assume she can, and maybe she will.

But I’m still concerned about this message. Because it still implies that the value of people with Down syndrome comes from their capacity to behave and perform and achieve like typical people.

For people with Down syndrome, and for all the rest of us too, our value and our capacity to give something meaningful in the world does not come from our ability. It comes from our humanity, our limited, gifted, broken, beautiful, belovedness.

I celebrate the amazing accomplishments of people with Down syndrome. I also celebrate the ordinary, unimpressive lives of people with Down syndrome, the ordinary, unimpressive lives of all of us.

So yes, assume she can, and maybe she will. Even more importantly, assume she matters. Assume she is a gift. Assume she is beloved. (And maybe then we will create a world of belonging.)

MORE WITH AMY JULIA:

Book: A Good and Perfect Gift: Faith, Expectations, and a Little Girl Named Penny Free Resource:  Missing Out on Beautiful: Growing Up With a Child With Down Syndrome World Down Syndrome Day 2024

Subscribe  to my newsletter to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , and  YouTube , and you can subscribe to my Reimagining the Good Life podcast on your favorite podcast platform. 

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World Down Syndrome Day 2024

Happy World Down Syndrome Day! Our daughter Penny is 18, and we join thousands of other people around the globe who want to raise awareness about Down syndrome today.

First, we want to raise awareness that life with Down syndrome can be full, flourishing, and good. It can involve meaningful contributions to society, participation in community, friendships, romance, and fun. In Penny’s case, life includes dance class and creative writing and working at Panera and summer camp and applying to college and dreaming about living in an apartment with friends someday.

Second, we want to raise awareness that people with Down syndrome still face bigotry and injustice. This comes in small ways—the waiter who doesn’t look Penny in the eye and asks me what she wants to order without acknowledging her presence, the teachers with low expectations. And it comes in large ways that we mostly don’t experience. I’m thinking of Penny’s friend Rachel, who is languishing in a school system that has no plan or imagination for kids with intellectual disabilities over the age of 18. I’m thinking of my friends who have needed legal advocates and lawsuits to forge a path of inclusion in schools. I’m thinking of the countless young adults with Down syndrome who want to work and cannot get hired.

If we actually believed the belovedness of every human being, we would have eyes to see the value of every individual. And if we assumed possibility instead of deficiency, we would find ways to engage every individual in the fabric of our society as meaningful contributors worthy of attention and care.

MORE WITH AMY JULIA:

Book: A Good and Perfect Gift: Faith, Expectations, and a Little Girl Named Penny Free Resource:  Missing Out on Beautiful: Growing Up With a Child With Down Syndrome Penny’s Final Night of Cheerleading

Subscribe  to my newsletter to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , and  YouTube , and you can subscribe to my Reimagining the Good Life podcast on your favorite podcast platform. 

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Two-Year Anniversary of To Be Made Well

Do you want to be made well?

It’s a question that Jesus asks, but it’s also a question we can ask ourselves. Whether we are talking about our bodies, our political system, our relationships, our marriages, or our emotional lives—do we want things to change? And if we do want that, how does it happen?

I wrote To Be Made Well to offer thoughts on how to answer that question by looking at Jesus as a healer of persons and of communities. Today is the two-year anniversary of this book, and I am so grateful that it continues to be a book that people read and engage with. 

Amy Nicholson reviewed To Be Made Well for Today’s American Catholic recently. She wrote,

“The subtitle of To Be Made Well is An Invitation to Wholeness, Healing, and Hope. I found this slim volume just that. Through the exploration of biblical stories and references to numerous other resources, Becker invites the reader to discover ways to restore wholeness and find healing in body and spirit. She also invites us to share a vision of hope for our society.” 

I hope and pray that this book continues to be an invitation to many, to wholeness, healing, and hope.

2022

MORE WITH AMY JULIA:

BOOK: To Be Made Well: An Invitation to Wholeness, Healing, and Hope BOOK REVIEW in Mere Orthodoxy

Subscribe  to my newsletter to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , Twitter , Pinterest , and  YouTube , and you can subscribe to my Reimagining the Good Life podcast on your favorite podcast platform. 

The post Two-Year Anniversary of To Be Made Well appeared first on Amy Julia Becker.

Two Year Anniversary of To Be Made Well

Do you want to be made well?

It’s a question that Jesus asks, but it’s also a question we can ask ourselves. Whether we are talking about our bodies, our political system, our relationships, our marriages, or our emotional lives—do we want things to change? And if we do want that, how does it happen?

I wrote To Be Made Well to offer thoughts on how to answer that question by looking at Jesus as a healer of persons and of communities. Today is the two-year anniversary of this book, and I am so grateful that it continues to be a book that people read and engage with. 

Amy Nicholson reviewed To Be Made Well for Today’s American Catholic recently. She wrote,

“The subtitle of To Be Made Well is An Invitation to Wholeness, Healing, and Hope. I found this slim volume just that. Through the exploration of biblical stories and references to numerous other resources, Becker invites the reader to discover ways to restore wholeness and find healing in body and spirit. She also invites us to share a vision of hope for our society.” 

I hope and pray that this book continues to be an invitation to many, to wholeness, healing, and hope.

2022

MORE WITH AMY JULIA:

BOOK: To Be Made Well: An Invitation to Wholeness, Healing, and Hope BOOK REVIEW in Mere Orthodoxy

Subscribe  to my newsletter to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , Twitter , Pinterest , and  YouTube , and you can subscribe to my Reimagining the Good Life podcast on your favorite podcast platform. 

The post Two Year Anniversary of To Be Made Well appeared first on Amy Julia Becker.

3 Ways to Interact With Your Disengaged Teenager

We now officially have three teenagers under our roof. Which means we have lots of pop music playing at all hours. And we go through more snacks than we do fruit, or chicken, or yogurt. And Peter and I get a lot of looks that we interpret as, well, surly.

So far, I have three responses to the one-word answers to open-ended questions and the blank stares or rolled eyes I often get from one or all of our children:

1. Be the Grownup

My job is still to be the grownup. The biggest challenge—and most helpful advice I can offer—is to stay myself. Don’t match their energy. Don’t mimic their emotions. Be the grownup.

2. Ask Questions

When I’ve asked seventeen open-ended questions that have all received a one-word answer, I tell them it is now their turn to ask a question.

3. Be Together

And I remind myself that simply being in the space together—the drive to school, the dinner table, the bedtime check-in—is enough. It tells them that we are here if they ever decide it’s time to speak up. 

And, every so often, they do speak up. And every so often they do climb up on the couch next to you and lean in close and just stay there, like a little child who needs a mom. And then I remember that it is my job for them to learn how not to need me so much, and it is my job to encourage them to spread their wings, and it is my job to always offer a safe place to return.

MORE WITH AMY JULIA:

BOOK: Small Talk: Learning from my Children About What Matters MostDown Syndrome, Teenagers, and Holy LimitsEmotional Lives of Teenagers

Subscribe  to my newsletter to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , Twitter , Pinterest , and  YouTube , and you can subscribe to my Reimagining the Good Life podcast on your favorite podcast platform. 

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Penny’s Final Night of Cheerleading

I don’t know why I wasn’t weepy with Penny’s final night of cheerleading. Maybe I’m in total denial that her time in high school is coming to an end. Maybe I’m repressing some serious emotions. Or maybe I still can’t believe that she has been given these opportunities. 

What I do know is that I loved every minute of watching her and her team out there. I love that she has been a part of a high school team. I couldn’t have imagined that when she was born. I love that I can hear her practicing routines in her room on the weekends. I love that she gives me credit for becoming a cheerleader because I forced her to try out three years ago. 

Maybe I’m not weepy, at least not yet, because even though we have lots of “last times” ahead, we also envision a good future for her. Maybe I’m just grateful. And maybe it is time for the next chapter.

MORE WITH AMY JULIA:

FREE DOWNLOAD: Missing Out on Beautiful: Essays About Growing Up With a Child With Down SyndromePenny’s Senior Night as a CheerleaderTurning 18 and Guardianship Decisions

Subscribe  to my newsletter to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , Twitter ,  Pinterest , and  YouTube , and you can subscribe to my Reimagining the Good Life podcast on your favorite podcast platform. 

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How Jesus Changes the Story of Disability

Go where Jesus goes. See who Jesus sees. Tell the story that Jesus tells.

I had a chance to preach at Matthews United Methodist Church last week, and together we looked at the story of the man lying by the pool of Bethzatha in John 5. Jesus invites him to healing in the holistic sense that involves his body, mind, spirit, and relationships. 

As a congregation, we had a chance to imagine ourselves as those like the man—feeling hopeless and helpless. We also envisioned being the body of Christ and following Jesus’ lead in going to be with the people who have been rejected and overlooked, seeing them as fully human and worthy of love and care, and speaking new truth into their lives. 

Go where Jesus goes. 

See who Jesus sees. 

Tell the story that Jesus tells.

MORE WITH AMY JULIA

SpeakingA PDF Guide to Books About God’s Logic of DisabilityIs John 5 Ableist?5 Bible Passages for Parents of Children with Down Syndrome

Subscribe  to my newsletter to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , Twitter ,  Pinterest , and  YouTube , and you can subscribe to my Reimagining the Good Life podcast on your favorite podcast platform. 

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COMMENT MAGAZINE | The Blurring Is Part of the Beauty

Every summer our family of five travels to Nauvoo, Alabama, for one week. It’s an unusual decision—we leave the relatively cool nights and sunshiny days of July in Connecticut for the muggy backwoods of northern Alabama. We make this inconvenient and expensive journey because our week at Hope Heals camp gives us a glimpse of the kingdom of God.

Hope Heals camp is a space for families affected by disability to gather for teaching and community and belonging. The five hundred or so people in attendance span a wide spectrum of needs. There are people with Down syndrome, like our daughter Penny. We meet children with rare genetic conditions and parents who are recovering from strokes and blind teenagers and autistic tweens. We also meet lots of people who appear to be typically developing. Hope Heals brings out our vulnerabilities in a way that blurs the lines between disabled and able. The blurring is part of the beauty…

Go here to keep reading my full essay for Comment Magazine:

The Blurring Is Part of the Beauty
Disability, interdependence, and the way of blessing.

MORE WITH AMY JULIA:

Book: A Good and Perfect Gift: Faith, Expectations, and a Little Girl Named Penny Free Resource:  Missing Out on Beautiful: Growing Up With a Child With Down Syndrome 247. The Transition To Adulthood (w/ Amy Julia Becker) | The Lucky Few Podcast

Subscribe  to my newsletter to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , Twitter ,  Pinterest , and  YouTube , and you can subscribe to my Reimagining the Good Life podcast on your favorite podcast platform. 

The post COMMENT MAGAZINE | The Blurring Is Part of the Beauty appeared first on Amy Julia Becker.

Healing Our Narratives

A friend recently pointed out that I need to experience healing in the midst of the false narratives I tell myself. As some of you already know, I tell myself the story of “never enough.” And I tell myself the story of “doing it wrong.” Neither of these narratives is true, and neither is helpful.

My friend called my attention to John 5, where Jesus sees a man who has been “an invalid” for 38 years. This man is lying by a pool that is supposed to contain healing waters, but the man cannot get close to the water. 

He tells Jesus the story of why he cannot be healed. But Jesus ignores that narrative. Instead, Jesus says, “Get up. Take your mat and walk.” 

Jesus pays great attention to this man, but he pays no attention to the old narrative. He gives the man a new story. And the man gets up and walks. Jesus heals him by calling him to leave the old narrative behind and participate in the work God is doing in his life.

What’s the story you tell yourself that keeps you in a place where you feel stuck, as if healing could never happen? And what’s the new story that you long to be true? Could it be that God is speaking that new story over you, and me, right now?

MORE FROM AMY JULIA:

5 Ways to Experience God’s Love and Practice PeaceWhat Story Are You Telling Yourself?Awakened Attention and Achievement Attention

Subscribe  to my newsletter to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , Twitter ,  Pinterest , and  YouTube , and you can subscribe to my Reimagining the Good Life podcast on your favorite podcast platform. 

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