Amy Julia Becker's Blog, page 29

Disability in “All the Light We Cannot See” Netflix Series

Have you watched the Netflix series All The Light We Cannot See? It is an awesome, subversive message about disability and, ultimately, about humanity. The main character is blind, and there are multiple reasons why people see her blindness as a curse.

I’m not going to get into all the details, but I do want to point out how her dad keeps saying, “No, you are a blessing. And your blindness, actually, in and of itself, is a blessing because you are the one who is able to see the light. You are the one who can see all the light we cannot see.”

He is pointing her to the truth that she is able to bring blessing to those around her and experience blessing in her own life.

I love this message, not just for what it says about disability, but what it says about all of us in terms of the things that we think about as defective or problematic about ourselves. What if they’re actually gifts? What if they’re actually a way in which we are blessed in order to be a blessing to the people around us?

More from Amy Julia:

AJB RecommendsMy Favorite Movies and Shows in 2023What Penny and I Thought About the Champions Movie

Subscribe  to my newsletter to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , Twitter ,  Pinterest , and  YouTube , and you can subscribe to my  Love Is Stronger Than Fear  podcast on your favorite podcast platform. 

The post Disability in “All the Light We Cannot See” Netflix Series appeared first on Amy Julia Becker.

Disability in “All the Light We Cannot See” Movie

Have you watched the Netflix movie All The Light We Cannot See? It is an awesome, subversive message about disability and, ultimately, about humanity. The main character is blind, and there are multiple reasons why people see her blindness as a curse.

I’m not going to get into all the details, but I do want to point out how her dad keeps saying, “No, you are a blessing. And your blindness, actually, in and of itself, is a blessing because you are the one who is able to see the light. You are the one who can see all the light we cannot see.”

He is pointing her to the truth that she is able to bring blessing to those around her and experience blessing in her own life.

I love this message, not just for what it says about disability, but what it says about all of us in terms of the things that we think about as defective or problematic about ourselves. What if they’re actually gifts? What if they’re actually a way in which we are blessed in order to be a blessing to the people around us?

More from Amy Julia:

AJB RecommendsMy Favorite Movies and Shows in 2023What Penny and I Thought About the Champions Movie

Subscribe  to my newsletter to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , Twitter ,  Pinterest , and  YouTube , and you can subscribe to my  Love Is Stronger Than Fear  podcast on your favorite podcast platform. 

The post Disability in “All the Light We Cannot See” Movie appeared first on Amy Julia Becker.

Here’s the question: What am I doing?

“Just do it.”
“You deserve a break today.”
“Think different.”

I’ve been working with a consultant for the past few months in my own attempt to come up with a way to convey the work I do in a short and pithy—but true and lasting—way. (Maybe the sentence I just typed already demonstrates how hard the short and pithy part has been for me!)

I’m not becoming Nike or Apple any time soon, but I am trying to hone in on who I am, what I do, and how I can convey that to new readers/listeners. I’ve used whiteboards and Miro boards and banner paper and notebooks. My social media coordinator, Amber Beery, and I have tossed out words and phrases and brainstormed for hours.

Who am I writing for?

I’ve realized that my work, and our audience, is more of a Venn diagram than a circle. I write about disability, sure. I also write about faith. I comment on culture. I write for an audience that includes lots of parents like me–with children with disabilities. Still, I’m also writing with a different person in mind—the person I think I would be without Penny in our life.

I’m writing for the adult who has always felt driven to achieve and perform and who wants to know they are valued and loved with or without those achievements. I’m writing for the ones who want to move from achievement to belovedness, from exclusion to belonging, from fear to love, from transactional relationships to grace, from a way of payment to a way of blessing.

Why am I writing?

I’ve also realized that as much as I admire (and need) advocates and activists, that’s not my purpose. What I do best is weave together personal stories, biblical narratives, and cultural commentary that helps us to think differently. I’m more of a mindset-shift person than a behavior-shift person. (That said, when we change our thinking, our behavior follows, and I hope that the work I do helps not only cause a shift in thinking but a shift in living that ultimately nudges our whole culture in a different direction.)

New Projects

We are circling in on a specific tagline (which you’ll see sometime very soon). The process of discovering that tagline already has helped us to envision new projects for the year ahead. I’m planning to create a 4-part video teaching series called Reimagining Family Life with Disability (and, depending on how that goes, one called Reimagining Church Life with Disability). I’m starting to pull on the threads of a book about why disability matters for everyone. And I’m thinking about how these distinctive threads might help shape our list of podcast guests and speaking opportunities.

Thank you for reading. Thank you for helping me determine the best way for me to offer the world what I have to give. I hope you too can find ways to know your belovedness and offer your gifts to the rest of us.

More with Amy Julia:

Retreating and ReimaginingHow to Reflect on a Just-Get-Through-It YearSeason of Waiting and Impossibility

Subscribe  to my newsletter to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , Twitter ,  Pinterest , and  YouTube , and you can subscribe to my  Love Is Stronger Than Fear  podcast on your favorite podcast platform. 

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Bureaucracy and Disability

One of the things they tell you when you’re a parent of a child with disabilities is that the bureaucracy is going to be awful. I thought it would be. (And maybe it still will be!) But I talked to a woman from the Social Security Administration last week who could not have been more lovely in helping to walk me through how to support Penny in applying for Social Security benefits now that she has turned 18.And I just want to report that because sometimes there are people who are doing their jobs really well, who are on your team, and who want to make this world a place where people with disabilities are given the rights and the supports that they deserve. Last week it felt like I met one of those people. This woman helped us. She was kind and gracious and generous, and I’m really grateful.

More with Amy Julia:

Penny Turns 18When Love Shows UpSome People Are Awesome

Subscribe  to my newsletter to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , Twitter ,  Pinterest , and  YouTube , and you can subscribe to my  Love Is Stronger Than Fear  podcast on your favorite podcast platform. 

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Retreating and Reimagining

A few times a year, I spend a few nights away from my family, by myself. 

This time, while I’m away for the week, I’m working on a NEW project that I’m excited about. It’ll be available this spring, and I’m sharing the early details with my email subscribers very soon.

Also, I’ll have the better part of three days to look ahead and prioritize my hopes and dreams for the year ahead. There are all sorts of things I want to do—write essays and start a new book and invite interesting people to converse on the podcast and speak and collaborate with others. And of course there’s the new project I can’t wait to tell you about!

What are you working on in the year ahead? Is there anything you’d like to hear more about from me?

More with Amy Julia:

How to Reflect on a Just-Get-Through-It YearSeason of Waiting and ImpossibilityIs There Time To Go Away for a Retreat?

Subscribe  to my newsletter to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , Twitter ,  Pinterest , and  YouTube , and you can subscribe to my  Love Is Stronger Than Fear  podcast on your favorite podcast platform. 

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Our Song for Penny’s 18th Birthday

Penny requested a song on the occasion of her 18th birthday. She also gave us instructions on the tune—we could refer to You Belong With Me or Our Song by Taylor Swift. (Watch a video of us singing here.)

We have a tradition in my family of rewriting songs for special occasions. It started when my grandfather wrote verses to honor (or humor) each family invited to their neighborhood Christmas party. It continued throughout my childhood when we rewrote various Simon and Garfunkel, Beatles, and other “Oldies” lyrics—when my dad turned 40, for my aunt’s wedding, for my grandparents’ 50th wedding anniversary.

So Penny requested a song in honor of her 18th birthday, and we got to work. We listed what was true of Penny when she was a toddler and refused to walk barefoot in grass and learned sign language before she used spoken words. We noted her current obsessions, like cheerleading and Ted Lasso. We brainstormed terrible lyrics and settled on adequate ones that hopefully convey something of the particular gift of her life. (See a clip of our singing below after the lyrics!)

Happy Birthday, Penny!

Our Song for Penny’s 18th Birthday:

You were one years old with your life to unfold
In the town of Lawrenceville
George welcomed you, Nana visited too
Kennedy boys at your window-sill
You started school, always loved the pool
And wanted your flip flops on
Music Together was fun, Signing Times begun,
But you don’t have a song
So we sing

CHORUS:
Your song is family and friends,
Cheering at games and dancing in great shows
You don’t like to rush you like to take it slow
Cause it’s dark and it’s time for Lasso

Your song is the way you laugh
Heading off to school for Senior Project, Great Books, and math
And when you get home, fore you sing Amen
We will all ask God to play it again

You moved from Jersey up to Washington where you now have so much fun
Started to dance and we went to France
And came back to cheer for Gunn
You root for the Yankees with William and Marilee and your lovin dad
Read all the novels, stayed out of trouble
Broken ankles made you sa-ad

CHORUS

Teenage years arrived, you began to thrive
After Covid times were done
Movie night and PALS, Hope Heals with your gals
It all was so much fun
Worked at the PO, senior year to go
On your way to Watertown
We celebrate you, congratulate you
Eighteen–cheers all around

CHORUS

More with Amy Julia:

Penny Turns 18When Love Shows UpOur Visit to the Mass General Down Syndrome Clinic

Subscribe  to my newsletter to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , Twitter ,  Pinterest , and  YouTube , and you can subscribe to my  Love Is Stronger Than Fear  podcast on your favorite podcast platform. 

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Recap of Holiday Fun

Sometimes the holidays are one long stressful reminder of all the childhood wounds and irritations and conflicts you’ve ever tried to work through in therapy. 

And sometimes they are just delightful days of rest and connection and cookies and rest.

Mostly, it’s both. But for us this year, it was weighted towards delight. 

Cousins visited us at our new house (which comes with a golf cart!). We tackled the hardest puzzle ever. We dressed up and dressed down and played pool and celebrated the youngest cousin (soon to turn two), and the oldest cousin, Penny, who turned 18. 

And I am very grateful.

More with Amy Julia:

Penny Turns 18How to Reflect on a Just-Get-Through-It YearWhen Love Shows Up

Subscribe  to my newsletter to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , Twitter ,  Pinterest , and  YouTube , and you can subscribe to my  Love Is Stronger Than Fear  podcast on your favorite podcast platform. 

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How to Reflect on a Just-Get-Through-It Year

“You aren’t going to figure it out. You’re just going to get through it.”

My friend Patricia first said to me years ago, when I was enduring sleepless nights with a cranky infant. But her words returned as I looked back over the past year, which included moving three times and navigating four school schedules and the exhilaration and stress of being in a new community with Peter’s new job and a new house and the like.

So I come to the end of this year without a long list of purposeful questions for reflection. I’m mostly just grateful for the things we “got through.” 

Still, as we turn the corner into 2024, it always helps me to return to some reflection basics:

There’s the rose/thorn/bud that our kids recommend:

What was one rose (beautiful/good thing) from the past year?What was one thorn (hard/sad/troubling thing)?What is one bud (something that is ready to grow) as you look to 2024?

Or there’s a modified version of the question Peter often asks at a dinner with colleagues: 

What were some shows, movies, books, or experiences that marked this year? 

Or the questions my social media coordinator and I review every week:

What’s one win from the past year?What’s one thing you’ve learned?What’s one big thing you want to accomplish in the year ahead? 

Or the wandering thoughts I have as I try to order my own thoughts:

What are you grateful for from 2023?What brings you sorrow? What regrets do you have? How can you receive forgiveness for those and learn from them?Where and when did you experience joy and peace?

Happy New Year!

More with Amy Julia:

Season of Waiting and ImpossibilityUsing Our Spiritual Imaginations to Envision a Good and Possible FutureMy Favorite Books of 20232 Intentions for 2023

Subscribe  to my newsletter to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , Twitter ,  Pinterest , and  YouTube , and you can subscribe to my  Love Is Stronger Than Fear  podcast on your favorite podcast platform. 

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Penny Turns 18

Our daughter Penny turns 18 today. She’s not at home with us, as it turns out. Rather, she is at a retreat center with a group of other teenagers for a Camp PALS Holiday program. It seems fitting that she would be with friends rather than family for her 18th birthday. It also seems like a signal that this little girl—whose birth and diagnosis of Down syndrome so many years ago prompted so many questions, so many fears, so many frightening hopes—it seems like a signal that she is indeed growing up, just as she should.

I remember the fear that came when I first thought she would never. Never go to college. Never drive. Never have friends. Never leave our home and live independently. Never work. 

And then I remember the fear that came when I first thought she would. Would get a job. Would have friends who might hurt her or break her heart. Would risk rejection. Would go to college. Would live apart from us. 

I still have plenty of fear when it comes to Penny’s future. But I also have eighteen years of knowing her. Eighteen years of her kindness and humor and intelligence. Eighteen years of her bright eyes and sincerity. Eighteen years of learning what matters to her and how to support her and when to let go. Eighteen years of learning that while fear is powerful, love is even stronger. 

I spoke from 1 Corinthians 13 at Penny’s baptism as an infant. And I return to those powerful words today. That love, though it be patient and gentle and kind, is also enduring and strong. That love “always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” I return to the foundational promise that “love never fails.” 

Penny’s eighteen years of life have been built and established on a love that is stronger than fear, a love that created her with a purpose, a love that never fails.

Happy Birthday.

More with Amy Julia

Happy 17th Birthday, Penny!Happy Sweet Sixteen, Penny!Happy 15th Birthday, Penny!

Subscribe  to my newsletter to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , Twitter ,  Pinterest , and  YouTube , and you can subscribe to my  Love Is Stronger Than Fear  podcast on your favorite podcast platform. 

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Holy Longing

Christmas is a season of holy longing. 

Whether we are singing along to “Holly Jolly Christmas” or “Hark the Herald Angels Sing,” we are longing for joy.

Whether we are looking forward to lighting an Advent candle at church or seeing a town aglow with little white lights, we are longing for light that shines in darkness.

Whether we are wrapping presents for little ones or volunteering at a soup kitchen, we are longing for gifts of grace.

Whether we are throwing a party for relatives or singing “Happy Birthday” to Jesus, we are longing to celebrate. 

Both the commercial and the religious trappings of this season point to a common human longing for love and hope and peace and joy and connection and celebration. 

The story of Jesus’ arrival in this world is a story of love that draws near, of grace and truth made real. Jesus’ birth is an invitation for all of our longings to find a home that sustains us and holds us and carries us all year long.

More with Amy Julia:

Holy DisruptionSeason of Waiting and ImpossibilityS7 E7 | How Advent Resists the Culture Wars with Tish Harrison WarrenAdvent Devotional

Subscribe  to my newsletter to receive regular updates and news. You can also follow me on  Facebook ,  Instagram , Twitter ,  Pinterest , and  YouTube , and you can subscribe to my  Love Is Stronger Than Fear  podcast on your favorite podcast platform. 

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