Ricardo Miller's Blog, page 6
May 2, 2022
Unaccomplished Goals
This week, I want to talk about unaccomplished goals. There is a higher level of discipline one must have in order to accomplish what God has placed with in your heart.
My life is all about GOALS! I’m not obsessed with my goals but I’m committed to my goals. Please know there is a difference.
I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes I let life get in the way of completing those bucket list items I have written down as goals.
Surely many people at the end of their lives have fallen into this trap and have regrets about not achieving their dreams. You’re not at the end of your life, but you are almost in the middle of your year. Your year is not over. You still have time to revisit and accomplish the goals you set for 2022.
You want to live a life where you are progressively moving forward and goals will help you to do simply that. Things like busy work or laziness (if we're being real) can hold us back, but more often than not it’s fear that stops us from reaching our goals.
I often teach my coaching clients, writing down your goals is a good step, but it’s only the first step.
You have to become committed to figuring out the things you can do every day to get one step closer to achieving what you really want.
I want to remind you, you’re going to need to stay focused on your goals, your peace, and your happiness. Don't waste your time on anything that doesn't contribute to your growth. Remember you are on a mission to live life effectively.
Don't chase people. Chase your goals.
Here is something I learned recently about SMART goals. Your goals need to be:
⁃ Specific (Simple, sensible, and significant)
⁃ Measurable (meaningful, motivating)
⁃ Achievable (Agreed, attainable)
⁃ Relevant (reasonable, realistic, resourced, and result oriented)
⁃ Time-bound (time based, time-limited, and time-sensitive).
I absolutely love this quote by Confucius the Chinese philosopher, “When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don't adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.”
So, how are you doing with this year‘s goals? What are you going to do to accomplish your goals, to finish the year strong? What action steps do you need to reconsider? How are you going to turn your unaccomplished goals to accomplish goals?
If you haven’t started making goals, its not too late. It’s time to get to work to live life effectively.
It's a good time to consider getting a life coach to help you with your goals. I'm here to help you. We offer one-on-one coaching and group coaching. You can learn more about both here on our website.
April 25, 2022
Stop the Blaming
No one wins at the blame game!
You are responsible for your life, and when you take responsibility for all your past mistakes, without blame, you change your life. As a life management coach, it is my job to help people learn to take responsibility for their lives on their journey to creating an incredible life.
There are too many people out there that are simply deciding that they’re going to blame the government and its policies. They may blame their parents and their upbringing, they may blame their spouse and their attitude, they may blame their boss and their arrogance.
They blame everyone and everything for the situations they are in and the state of life they are in except for the one person they should look at…themselves.
When you cast blame, you are surrendering your power, abilities, and life into the power of something or someone else. You are saying that they have control over you and that you are powerless.
When you say someone “makes you angry”, you are saying that that person has complete control over you and you are powerless to do anything about it.
When you blame your boss for your unhappiness at work, you are submitting control of your happiness to your boss and saying you are powerless to do anything about it.
LET’S GET RID OF THE OLD STORIES THAT ARE HOLDING US BACK. Write down all of the people you are blaming.
Some examples:
- My family doesn’t support anything I do.
- I’m waiting for my partner to support me.
- I don’t have enough money.
- I’m a woman. That’s why they won’t give me a chance.
- I’m not smart enough.
- I’m waiting until I have another certification.
- I am the victim of growing up living paycheck to paycheck.
- I’m black. That’s why they won’t promote me.
It is time to stop looking around for all the reasons why you have NOT realized your dream life. You’ve got to rise above negativity, doubt, and rationalizations and become a problem solver.
NEVER BLAME ANYONE IN LIFE.
We've become a society where we blame everyone for our feelings, pain, and unhappiness. No one is responsible and has control over our emotions. If you are unhappy, simply look in the mirror.
Please remember, You aren't a failure until you start to blame!!
Effective Living Life Management Agency's mission is to equip the whole person by being a life management agency that helps people to structure their lives for effective living. Consider joining our life management group coaching. I'm teaching principles to help you manage your life, in five key areas - faith, family, finances, fitness, and fun. Learn more about our program HERE.
April 18, 2022
Live Your Life Unapologetically
Please know, living unapologetically did not come naturally for me. It was gradual as I became older and understood myself and human relationships better. It’s going to take work for you to be the confident and bold person you need to be, to maximize your potential.
This is your season to DO THE THINGS YOU ENJOY AND LOVE YOURSELF FOR WHO YOU ARE.
Once I understood ‘your vibe attracts your tribe’, it was easier to let go of trying hard to be like everybody else, understanding there are people who would be attracted to me, my personality, my character. This was so liberating and it held me to become a better life management coach.
Being myself allows me freedom of expression - be it the way I dress, speak or show up. It attracts like-minded people and allows for deep and meaningful conversations within your new found community.
YOUR JOURNEY THROUGH LIFE HAS SHAPED YOU TO BE EXACTLY WHO YOU ARE TODAY.
Your personality, strengths, and all of your experiences are uniquely yours. No one can beat you being you!
Living unapologetically means being true to all of who you are – and letting go of what others might think.
I want to encourage you right now, that moving forward you will not try to shrink, fit in, or be exactly the same as everyone else. You are different for a reason and you’ve got to learn how to embrace that difference.
- Do the things that fill you with joy.
- Wear what makes you happy.
- Chase your passions and follow your heart.
You’ve only got one life. LIVE YOUR LIFE HARD. LIVE YOUR LIFE CRAZY!
Fall in love with who you are and don’t be afraid to be different…An exceptional life is create and a different life is celebrated only when the person who is different learns to celebrate and value himself.
This is the week for our Leading in Ministry Virtual Class! Saturday, April 23, 9:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m., I'm having an exclusive training for ministry leaders. You do not want to miss this AND there is still time to register! Visit our event page HERE to learn more and register yourself and your team today!
April 11, 2022
Develop Consistent Habits
Your life will reflect your daily habits. During last week’s blog I shared that clutter is stealing from you. Your habits are creating your life.
IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A WAY TO BE MORE CONSISTENT IN YOUR LIFE, THE FIRST THING YOU NEED TO DO IS DEVELOP MORE CONSISTENT HABITS.
“Conquer your bad habits or they will conquer you.” - Rob Gilbert
The only way you will be more consistent is if you start from the ground up. There are few ways you can do exactly that. These include:
1. BE REALISTIC IN YOUR GOALS: You will have a difficult time being consistent if you do not have an idea of what you need to do. Therefore, create easy, simple goals that have objective results that are easy to measure. You could start by defining what consistency means to you. Then, you should come up with smaller steps you have to follow to reach that goal.
2. STICK TO A SCHEDULE: In order to be consistent, you need to know what you have to do every day. Therefore, you should create a schedule for yourself. Whether this is a planner, a calendar, or a list of reminders on your phone, this will help you stay on track. That way, you will figure out what commitments you do and do not have time for on your effective living journey.
3. USE REMINDERS: This is a new habit, so you need to remind yourself what you are doing. Try to place reminders on your belongings, around your home, and throughout your workspace or school. It is easy to forget new commitments and calls, especially when you are trying to change your routine. Put messages in visible locations, so you remind yourself throughout the day.
SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE DON’T SET GOALS, THEY CREATE SYSTEMS. Creating a system that works for you, is a game changer as you establish healthy habits in your life. It’s the difference between deciding to lose 10 pounds and designing a plan to lose 10 pounds – and remaining consistent with that plan.
IF YOU WANT TO SUCCEED, DEVELOP CONSISTENT PROCESSES, HABITS, AND ROUTINES.
Habits make the person. Habits make your life. Identify the life you want, identify the best practices and habits that will get you there, and remain consistent throughout each day.
“The successful person makes a habit of doing what the failing person doesn't like to do.” -Thomas Edison
Are you a leader in ministry? I invite you to join me at our upcoming Leading in Ministry Virtual Training. It's going to be a day of classes that will offer strategies for you to take your leadership to another level. When you attend, be sure to have your team come as well, as we are offering group rates. Learn more about our Leading in Ministry Virtual Training HERE.
April 4, 2022
Why You Should Declutter Your Life
You don’t need it. Really. Throw it out. Taking time to declutter and removing trash will make your life so much better. It’s the first Monday in the second quarter of this year and I want you to think about what you need to get rid of in order to make your life much more manageable.
Do you realize that the clutter in your home is actually stealing from you? It’s definitely stealing your…
- Time,
- Space,
- and Energy.
It can also steal your peace as well.
On your journey to living life effectively, it is important you don’t keep things that need to be trashed or possibly given away. Your life needs better management of it in order for you to get the most out of it.
Clutter is stealing from you and you got to stop it. Believe me when I say that too much “stuff” and clutter can cause a significant amount of stress in your life in a variety of ways. You want to manage your life so you can live life effectively. Hopefully after reading this week‘s blog you’re going to decide to commit to decluttering your life.
Once you start letting go, it can feel like such a big relief as you feel lighter and happier and begin experiencing the benefits of less.
There are so many incredible benefits of de-cluttering – the mental and the physical aspect of it. Even starting small, with one room or one drawer or one this from this list of things to Spring clean from your life, can allow you to experience those benefits. Some of the amazing benefits you might experience are:
- Better organization: the less stuff you have around, the easier it’ll be to get organized.
- Sharper focus: once you’ve had a major de-clutter, you’ll find you’ll be able to concentrate better for days!
- Good sleep: with less clutter around to look at and think about, de-cluttering can even boost your sleep.
- Increase creativity: less negative distractions can help boost your creativity in your work and daily life.
- Letting go of the past: and the act of de-cluttering old stuff can help you let go of the past and things / people you don’t need.
Clutter isn't just the stuff that's in your closet. It's anything that gets between you and the life that you want to be living. I’m going to say it again, clutter is stealing from you and now you’ve got to decide that you are going to do something about it.
When you take control of clutter you are also taking control of your life! Don’t forget the help is available to you. If you need a life management coach visit our website to learn more.
March 28, 2022
Stop Making Excuses in Your Life
What excuses are you making right now?
What lies are you believing that you’ve told yourself over and over?
What lies are you believing that someone has told you about yourself?
IT’S TIME TO FACE THE FACTS AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY.
If you want to be successful in life, make this commitment: NO EXCUSES. Ever.
Challenge yourself for the second quarter to take responsibility for everything that happens in your life. Everything.
Ask yourself the following questions….
⁃ “How did I create that?”
⁃ “What were my beliefs?”
⁃ “How did I get that person to act that way?”
⁃ “What do I need to do next time to get my desired results?”
…instead of looking to point a finger of blame. "You can either take responsibility or play the blame game," Effective Living page 34.
The principle of 100% responsibility sounds simple and basic. However, it’s not always easy, and too many people live their lives in a mediocre way and without getting close to reaching their full potential because they fail to take responsibility.
IT IS OFTEN EASIER TO PASS THAT RESPONSIBILITY TO SOMEONE OR SOMETHING ELSE.
What traps keeps us from taking responsibility?
The three biggies are…
⁃ Blame,
⁃ Excuses, and
⁃ Complaining.
The only way you’re going to live life effectively is to stop making excuses and take ownership of your life and situation.
You do not want to live a unfulfilled life. You do not want to have any regrets. You do not want to not live in your purpose. Do what it takes to stop making excuses.
YOU ARE WHERE YOU ARE BECAUSE OF ALL THE DECISIONS YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE UP UNTIL NOW! Where will you go next?
If you are a leader in ministry, I want to personally invite you to our upcoming "Leading in Ministry" virtual training, happening Saturday, April 23. This is a training you and your team do not want to miss. Learn more and register HERE.
March 21, 2022
The Power of Self-Responsibility
In this life guys, no one owes you anything. Stop feeling so entitled!
One of the best and most difficult lessons you can learn in life is that no one owes you anything, but you owe yourself everything.
If you don’t feel like you are living your fullest, highest, most on-purpose, dream life, then you need to be willing to do things a bit differently than what you are currently doing.
WHAT GOT YOU HERE, WON’T GET YOU INTO YOUR DEAMS.
"Self-responsibility is the core quality of the fully mature fully functioning self-actualizing individual." - Brian Tracy
You take your life in your own hands and what happens? A terrible thing? No one to blame? Sometimes people do things to please others, but are you happy? Sometimes people place their exceptions on you, but are you happy? Sometimes people are living their life through you, but are you happy? Take control of YOUR life.
Accountability and self-responsibility are critical to our success in personal, professional and public life. However, we often look for those character traits in others, rather than including them in ourselves.
Moving forward I want to teach you to accept 100% responsibility for the following:
⁃ Health
⁃ Finances
⁃ Relationships
⁃ Values
⁃ Moral Compass
⁃ Choices
⁃ Physique
⁃ Ignorance.
NOBODY CAN TAKE AWAY YOUR POWER BESIDES YOURSELF.
In order to achieve 100% responsibility for your dream life, you will need to harness the power of your thoughts.
Self-responsibility is the essence of change, if we all changed one thing about ourselves; we can collectively change the world, both on the individual micro and collective macro level - that's what I learned through personal experiences.
“I think self-reliance and self-responsibility and self-accountability will help you as a parent, a teacher, as a citizen as a friend.”– Henry Rollins
You are invited to join us for our upcoming Effective Living Masterclass. This is an opportunity to meet in-person and have teaching on principles for taking your life to the next level. Learn more and register HERE.
March 14, 2022
Look to Yourself
Instead of looking external for where you are at, your conditions, your circumstances, and your attitudes, look inward. LOOK TOWARDS YOURSELF!
Stop blaming others and take responsibility for where you are at – how you act, and the choices you make. No one is responsible for how you act or respond. Too often, people want to blame someone for a poor decision and take credit for a positive one, but in reality you are responsible for both.
Only by doing this – taking personal responsibility – will you be able to LEARN, GROW and MOVE FORWARD and get out of those circumstances you don’t want to be in.
IT MAY HURT TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY IN YOUR LIFE! As a matter fact I’m going to go as far to say it is going to hurt to take responsibility for your life.
Adopt the mantra, “If it’s meant to be, it is up to me!”
When you take on a mantra like this, everything about your life changes for the better.
Your self talk should help you, not hurt you. Re-read this blog for a reminder about positive self-talk.
Ask yourself these questions to honestly come to the conclusion on how you prepare to take control of your life:
What choices did I make that got me here?
What can I do differently next time?
What steps do I need to take to move past this?
What can I learn from this?
How can I react differently?
What should I be doing differently?
Answering these questions are going to help you with your journey to improving your life for you.
Behave as if you are 100% responsible for everything that does or doesn’t happen to you!
Look to yourself for guidance. You know what works for you; what works for you may not work for everyone else. Your goal is to take responsibility for your life and learn how you can be better at making decisions moving forward.
You have always had the power to get it right, to create the results you want. You have been choosing not to exercise that power!
Success and living life effectively going together. I invite you to our upcoming Effective Living Masterclass: Spring into Success. On Saturday, April 23, 11:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m., we'll be at the George W. Hawkes Library in Arlington. We're still very early into 2022. Let me work with you to help you continue putting pieces together for your best year yet! Learn more and register for the Masterclass HERE.
March 7, 2022
No Blaming. No Excuses. No Complaining.
You truly can take control of your life if you simply accept this fact: Event + Response = Outcome. It’s as simple as that!
Growing up, I remember seeing people complaining and blaming others for everything. “It’s their fault I can’t go here or there….it’s their fault I don’t know how to do this or that…my family wants me to do this but, I don’t like it…” Why complain, when you have the ability to choose?Living life effectively involves personal responsibility. You are responsible for you. You are responsible for your choices. You are responsible for your responses. Personal responsibility is a principle I teach in my book, Effective Living.
I want you to – I need you to – accept that the outcome of anything that happens in your life is equal to the event itself and your response to it.
As your life management coach, I want you to understand you may not be able to change the events in your life, but you can change your response.
It’s not the event that controls you. It’s your response to the event. You make the choice for how you respond to the event.
From this day forward make a commitment to CHOOSE TO LEARN AND GROW!
What’s great about this truth is, if you don’t like where you are at, all you need to do is change your response! If you don’t like your circumstances, change your response! It’s all your choice.
You can’t always change the events, or what happens to you. But you can always choose how you react to those events. You can take personal responsibility for yourself.“So, one must ask themselves, “Do I like the outcome I am currently getting?” Whatever your answer to that question is, you have two basic choices to make. You can either take responsibility or play the blame game. You can choose to blame all the outside forces like the economy, weather, lack of money, education, racism, gender bias, ageism, your wife, your husband, your boss, the lack of support, the church, the Pastor and so on. If you are a Christian, you’ve probably even blamed God, or the devil. No doubt all of these factors do exits, but if any one of them were the only deciding factor, nobody would ever succeed.” (Effective Living, page 34)
Make it a rule from now on:
No Blaming.
No Excuses.
No Complaining.
Say to yourself: “I take 100% responsibility for my life. Where I am at now is because of my choices. Where I will be in the future is because of my choices as well.”
Ultimately it’s up to you to fix you!
I encourage you to join our Effective Living Life Management Group Coaching. In our group coaching, I teach you how manage your life. No blaming. No excuses. No complaining. Monday to Friday within a private Facebook group, there is a community who are all growing and living life effectively. Learn more HERE. I want to coach you!
February 28, 2022
Stop Looking for Permission to Be Who You Are
HONOR YOURSELF, YOUR IDEAS AND YOUR JOURNEY BY DEFINING SUCCESS ON YOUR TERMS!
This week, I want to challenge you to learn to be okay with yourself and not need permission from anyone else to move forward.
There are some people who have never learned how to independently build the life they desire. Additionally, there are some people who have tried to nurture a level of dependency on themselves because it makes them feel good about themselves.
When you’re unable to identify what you want in life and are unable to establish where you’re going it limits your ability to maximize your potential.
You don’t need anybody’s permission to be successful.
You don’t need anybody’s permission to be grow.
You don’t need anybody’s permission to maximize your potential.
You’ve got to learn how to show up for yourself and be unapologetic about who you’re becoming in Christ. You are not too much and should not be afraid to take up space in this world.
You’re not going to be everybody’s cup of tea and that’s okay!
Sometimes we’re afraid of rejection or afraid of failure and allow that to make us depend on others more than we should. I want to challenge you as you read this week’s blog, learn to be more confident in who you are and who you’re becoming.
The next time you find yourself experiencing imposter syndrome, remember you are exactly who you think you are. Live for the things that speak to you. You don’t have to dim your light to make anybody else comfortable.
This can be:
⁃ In the workplace/corporate/leadership roles;
⁃ In church/social groups;
⁃ While pursuing your dreams/starting a business;
⁃ Anywhere else where you seem to doubt yourself.
HAVE THE COURAGE TO BE ONE OF THE FEW WHO ARE BOLD ENOUGH TO GO OUT INTO THE WORLD AND ACTIVELY PURSUE YOUR GOALS WITH A PASSION.
⁃ Do your own thing.
⁃ Stop looking for validation.
⁃ Give yourself permission to live a big life.
⁃ Step into who you are meant to be.
⁃ Stop playing small.
⁃ You’re meant for greater things.
⁃ You deserve to be happy!
While it’s easy to want to fit the mold of who everyone else thinks you should be, it’s time you allow yourself to shine, and stop being so afraid of your own potential.
You don't need anyone's permission to GROW, to CHANGE, to be EXACTLY who you are.
This weekend, Saturday, March 5, is our next Effective Living 5k Run/Walk Meetup. Run/Walk with me, Coach Ricardo Miller, and the Effective Living community. We'll be at the Great Trinity Forest Gateway Park in Dallas. Visit the event page to learn more and register. Hope to see you Saturday!
