Ricardo Miller's Blog, page 10

Coping with Grief & Loss

On your journey to living life effectively you must understand while there is no right or wrong way to grieve, there are healthy ways to deal with the grieving process.

In this week’s blog, I would like to help you understand how to deal with grief and loss more effectively. I think first and foremost we must understand what it is. So, what is grief?

Grief is a natural response to loss. It’s the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away. Often, the pain of loss can feel overwhelming. You may experience all kinds of difficult and unexpected emotions, from shock or anger to disbelief, guilt, and profound sadness. The pain of grief can also disrupt your physical health, making it difficult to sleep, eat, or even think straight. These are normal reactions to loss—and the more significant the loss, the more intense your grief may be.

This is so real on so many levels. Coping with the loss of someone or something you love is one of life’s biggest challenges. You may associate grieving with the death of a loved one, which is often the cause of the most intense type of grief, but any loss can cause grief, including:

1. Divorce or relationship breakup
2. Loss of health
3. Loss of employment
4. Loss of financial stability
5. Loss of a cherished dream
6. A loved one’s serious illness
7. Loss of a friendship

Even subtle losses in life can trigger a sense of grief. You’ve got to understand that loss and grief are a part of life.

Whatever your loss, it’s personal to you. Do not feel ashamed about how you feel nor believe it’s somehow only appropriate to grieve for certain things.

Grieving is a highly individual experience; there’s no right or wrong way to grieve. How you grieve depends on many factors, including your personality and coping style, your life experience, your faith, and how significant the loss was to you.

Inevitably, the grieving process takes time.

Healing happens gradually; it can’t be forced or hurried and there is no “normal” timetable for grieving. Some people start to feel better in weeks or months. For others, the grieving process is measured in years. Whatever your grief experience, it’s important to be patient with yourself and allow the process to naturally unfold.

A healthy way to cope with grief is to exercise. We invite you to start training and register for our next Effective Living 5k Run/Walk Meetup. We'll be back at River Legacy Park in Arlington, TX on Saturday, August 21 at 7:00 a.m. Your registration includes a shirt, water bottle, and wristband, with proceeds from this event going towards Mission Bahamas 2021. We had a great time at our last 5k and want you to be apart of this one. It's not about competition, but about completion. Hope to see you there!

Surrounded by the Right People

They say that your network equals your net worth. Another crucial factor to your net worth is the team you surround yourself with. As the African Proverb states, "If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together." There is nothing quite like having a powerhouse team with an idea and somewhat of a plan to get there.

Life is full of surprises and things will not always go the way you want them to, so it is imperative that you surround yourself with talented and motivated individuals. This will help bring the best out in all of you and eventually keep you guys moving in the right direction.

Everyone has their own idea of success, but it is whom you surround yourself with that will help you get there. From like-minded individuals to people who have no shame in putting you in your place when you're not producing, every success story starts with a great team. Here are the signs that you are surrounded by the right people who will help you succeed:

1. You’re happier
2. They celebrate your wins
3. Trust goes without question
4. They have your back
5. You know where you stand
6. They bring out your best
7. You can always be you.

Get around people who want the BEST for you! There are people who are assigned to help you in life, and you have to make a commitment to getting around as many of them as possible.

Make sure those around you are adding value to you.
Get more information about who you are surrounded by HERE on my YouTube channel. While you're there, if you have not subscribed, I encourage you to do so and click on the notification bell to be altered any time we are live.
Make plans to be at our next event, the Effective Living Run/Walk 5k Meetup, happening Saturday, August 21 at 7:00 a.m. Our last 5k Run/Walk event was enjoyed by many. You don't want to miss this one. Find out more information and register, on our website.

It’s Always Someone Else’s Fault

Lately, I’ve noticed too many people have are approaching life with the attitude, it’s always someone else’s fault. Many people won’t take responsibility for their own actions. Accountability is at an all-time low. Today, I want to focus on the need to take personal responsibility for your life.

Many people blame just about everyone. Everyone and everything is the reason they aren’t where they want to be in life. Everyone, that is, except themselves!

Have you ever considered that you have been the common link to all of the problems you’ve experienced over the years?

When you’re able to admit your mistakes, and correct them, that's maturity. When you look for excuses and blame others, you have a lot to learn.

- It’s my ex’s fault
- It’s my boss’s fault
- It’s my parent’s fault
- It’s my family’s fault
- It’s my spouse’s fault
- It’s my children’s fault
- It’s my bad friend’s fault- It’s the President’s fault
- It’s my neighborhood’s fault

It’s everyone else’s fault! People do you wrong, I get it.

Maturity happens when you stop complaining and making excuses. Stop blaming others for what’s going on in your life. It’s easy to look for scapegoats. But a mature person realizes that whatever happens is primarily the result of choices you've made.

Take control of your life! Be accountable!

I’ve come to learn, some people blame others for all their problems. They’re never responsible, accountable nor want to take ownership of their problems. It’s always someone else’s fault. This is a dangerous way to live. Change your mindset if you want to fix your life. Stop playing the blame game.

When something goes wrong, looking for someone to blame is the easiest thing to do. But remember, "The better man blames himself, not others."

May the Almighty allow us to see our own mistakes and enable us to identify and rectify our shortcomings.

This month, we are celebrating the second year anniversary of Effective Living. Join us Saturday, July 17 at 5:00 p.m. at River Legacy Park in Arlington, TX for our Effective Living Fun Day in the Park. We will have music, dancing, food, games, and great opportunity to network and meet new people. This is a free event! RSVP to let us know you plan to join us. We are asking everyone to wear any Effective Living shirt. If you need a shirt, check out what's available in our online store, including our latest Anniversary Shirt. See you Saturday, July 17!

Are My Goals Still Relevant?

Goals change over time. Life is full of surprises! As we remain focused on winning in every area of our lives this year, it is critically important that over the summer months you take some time to review and assess if your goals are still relevant.

Now is a great time to do a midyear review of your goals. When conducting a review of your goals, the first step is to look at your goals you set and ask yourself whether they are still relevant.

Sometimes, when you originally set your goals, the future is murky. It’s impossible to predict the future and to know with complete certainty that a set of circumstances will materialize. With this under consideration, you may have had some clarity on the general direction of where you want to go, but now that you are six months into the year you have realize there is a slight alternative you are now working towards.

This is fine and goals should be constantly tweaked and refined… this is all part of the process!

The key is to ensure that your goals are still linked to the things that you are passionate about. “If you are blessed, your passion will align directly with your purpose. It is common for your passion to lead you right to the path of your purpose.” (Effective Living, page 19)

Passion creates the drive, energy, and enthusiasm necessary for success.

When looking over your goals, it’s also good to remind yourself of why you are working towards them. Reminding yourself of your why will be momentum to keep you going. “Why exceeds surface satisfaction of the most lavish material acquisitions, social acceptance of the highest order, and political correctness.” (Effective Living, page 1)

Your goals and your life need meaning. Answering the question of why will reinvigorate the drive for making them a reality.

Remember, at the beginning of this year, we declared this was the year of winning. Take the time to review your goals and adjust as needed. Don’t forget the lifestyle you promised yourself. Stay focused. Create your life.

If you find you need a little help getting to where you need to be, consider joining one of my coaching programs. We offer group coaching and one-on-one coaching.

This month of July, we are celebrating our second-year anniversary of Effective Living. All month, we are having a series of conversations on YouTube. Have you subscribed to our channel? Do so today!

If you are in the Dallas/Fort Worth area, I want to see you at our Effective Living Fun Day in the Park on July 17 at 5:00 p.m. This is a free event with games and food! Come and wear any Effective Living shirt. This is a great time to connect with those in the community! RSVP to let my team know you and your family are coming. You can also purchase our new anniversary shirt in our store.

Finding Your Voice

You’re probably really good at what you do, but there’s a chance many don't know what that is nor the full extent how good you are at it. When you find your true voice, you have the opportunity for your message to be out there when it matters most. That’s where I would like to focus on during this week’s blog, helping you find your voice.
By making improvements to the way you communicate with others, you’ll improve your life. When you find your true voice, people will understand your message and follow your directions easily, thereby improving your life.

When you improve the way you communicate with others, you’ll see immediate results. You will be more persuasive. You will have better professional and personal relationships, and you will significantly reduce negative communicative situations.

I teach my clients, if you want to live life effectively it is critically important you learn how to find your true voice. You need to know what you’re trying to say and who you’re saying it to.

Often we believe that time or money are the impediments for fulfilling our dreams or finding our voice. In reality, we fear we will not live up to our vision or, worse, THAT WE WILL. So take baby steps. Start where you are, and give yourself permission to speak from your heart.

Go a little bit deeper and ask yourself:

* Am I listening to my inner voice?
* Am I being truthful with myself?
* Am I connecting with myself?
* Am I letting myself be influenced by others?
* Am I walking my own path?

Over time you’re going to start to discover the inner voice that resonates within your heart and spirit.

People will get a better sense of your reliability, credibility, consistency, and trustworthiness the more they experience your unique voice and learn what you stand for and what your values are. You have the power to shape your own image, but you have to find and embrace the voice that is completely yours on your journey to living life effectively.

Challenge yourself to express yourself in different ways. You can do it!
If you need help crafting your message, consider joining my one-on-one coaching program. Find more information HERE.
I want to invite you at our upcoming Fun Day in the Park on Saturday, July 17, 2021 at 5:00 p.m. CST. Join me and the Effective Living Crew as we celebrate Effective Living’s two year anniversary. We’ll be at River Legacy Park in Arlington, TX. This is a free event, but we do ask you RSVP to let us know you’re coming. There will be food, games, dominos tournament and a spades tournament. Community and fun will be the focus for the day. Make plans to be there!

Becoming a People Person

I’ve been teaching for a while that someone is assigned to help you. In capturing that lesson, it is critically important we embrace the idea that purpose can only be fulfilled with the proper alignment of those assigned to be in our lives.

Many people don’t do well in life because they have not acquired the necessary people skills to incorporate in their daily walk in fulfilling their life‘s purpose.

Contrary to what you may believe, anyone can become a people person. That is, anyone can acquire the behavioral skills others find attractive and compelling. You may not feel at ease schmoozing with others or endearing yourself to them, but they won’t know that.

Developing great people skills is necessary for living life effectively. Decide to push yourself with these practical principles and watch your life improve for the better.
Here are 5 skills that will make you seem friendlier, more approachable, and come across as a people person.

1. Act interested, even if you’re not.

When someone shares news with you, they seem excited to share, be ready with a response that lets them know you’re rooting for them. “That’s great” and “kudos” are always appreciated. Or just, “Wow! Thanks so much for sharing that!” When you greet people, give them a big smile and a big hello. They’ll remember you as the one who seemed really happy to see them and made them feel good.

2. Learn to leave your baggage in the car.

We all have rough days. Maybe you had a fight with your kids this morning or left your phone charger at home. You might be surprised to discover that the most cheerful, upbeat people have plenty to gripe about, too. They just don’t. That’s the difference between being a positive “can do” person and a person who is an energy drainer. Worry about your worries later, once you’re home.

3. Be social with your media.

Now that you have an online community/network, keep it alive by sharing an occasional link to an article or video you think might be beneficial, or by sending an email about a professional event that piques your interest, with an invitation to join you. Your social friends may not respond, or they may decline your invitation, but they will remember that you reached out.

4. Cultivate acquaintances.

Get in the habit of making small talk with everyone you meet and trade social media information with them. These people can become your allies who can open professional doors for you. Acquaintances are not your friends. These are simply people you’ve met along the way and have chosen to stay in contact with.

5. Listen harder, talk less.

One of the easiest ways to be perceived as a people person is to listen more. People love to talk about themselves. They see superb listeners as smart, empathetic people. Being a great questioner is also good for you, as long as you keep asking questions about the other person.With some attention and a lot of practice, you might just become a people magnet! Remember, great people skills are necessary for living life effectively.

Decide now that you’re going to learn how to become better at dealing with people. The better you are at dealing with different types of people, the stronger you will be for it. Don’t be afraid to push yourself into becoming more of a people person.
I want to invite you at our upcoming Fun Day in the Park on Saturday, July 17, 2021 at 5:00 p.m. CST. Join me and the Effective Living Crew as we celebrate Effective Living’s two year anniversary. We’ll be at River Legacy Park in Arlington, TX. This is a free event, but we do ask you RSVP to let us know you’re coming. There will be food, games, dominos tournament and a spades tournament. Community and fun will be the focus for the day. Make plans to be there!

Distance Yourself From Problematic People

Over the years, I’ve found it very difficult to identify the toxic people are around me. I realize there are some people were assigned to help me and there are some people who are assigned to hurt me. It is critically important that I learn how to identify the different types of people who are around me on a daily basis.

Here’s what you need to know: Even if problematic people came with a warning tattooed on their skin, they might still be difficult to avoid. We can always decide who we allow close to us, but it’s not always that easy to cut out those who are toxic from other parts of our lives. They might be colleagues, bosses, family, co-parents, in-laws, step-children…and the list can go on.

Co-existing with problematic people means going around them to set your own rules, then accepting that you don’t need them to respect those rules to claim your power.

Today, I want to provide you with some powerful, practical ways to do that.

1. Be empowered by your motives.
2. Understand why they’re seeing what they see in you.
3. Be clear about your boundaries.
4. You don’t have to help them through every crisis.
5. You don’t need to explain yourself to problematic people.
6. Surround yourself with people who will give as much as you do.
7. Forgive – but don’t forget.

The world is full of people whose behavior is breathtakingly damaging. That doesn’t mean we have to open ourselves up to the damage.

When dealing with problematic people, it’s necessary that you keep Proverbs 4:23 in your mind, “Guard your heart diligently, for from it flow springs of life.” TLV

BEWARE OF THOSE YOU LET YOUR GUARD DOWN AROUND.

The secret to living well, means living deliberately. Knowing the signs of toxic behavior and responding deliberately and in full clarity to toxic people, will reduce the level of stress that can come from them.

Stay as far away from as many problematic people in your life to ensure that you don’t find yourself not enjoying your life because of the people around you.

I want to help you live life effectively. I invite you to join our Effective Living Life Management Coaching Group, exclusively in a private Facebook group. Monday to Friday, I'm helping those within the community create a life they don't need to take a vacation from. The community is growing and I'd welcome you to be part of it. Learn more and register HERE.

Evaluate Your Life

Your life will change the moment you change your thinking pattern. Most people don’t realize how important it is for us to understand we are responsible for the level of growth and development in our lives.

It is critically important we are proactive in regards to our mindset. A evaluation and assessment of our mindset over time is necessary to making changes in our life. Once you engage in a healthy evaluation and assessment of your mindset, it will help you make better decisions and evaluate what’s good for you or bad for you, and so on.

This week, I want to encourage you to control your mind, to control your thinking process, and watch your life change accordingly. It’s the first Monday in the month of June, and believe me, before you know it this year will be gone.

It’s no time to keep living the way you’ve been living with the expectation of things changing. Your life won’t change for the better unless you stop doing the same thing and expecting a different result.

I realized lately, we can experience growth often through times of loss, pain, and/or failure. The ability to overcome disappointment and tragedy strengthens our resolve and character, and shapes and defines our very existence. After you go through what you’ve been through it is critically important you ask yourself, “What’s the lesson that I’ve learned from all that I’ve been going through?”

Here’s a task I need you to complete this week. For a quick review of where you are after the first five months of this year, use these three questions:

What should I stop doing?
What should I start doing?
What should I keep doing?

You’ve got to ask these questions in regard to all of the major areas in your life. It is also critically important you evaluate everyone in your life. If you want the remainder of 2021 to be the best of this year, you’ve got to ask the tough questions.

I have asked all of my coaching clients to evaluate the value of people in their life. After a thorough evaluation, promote, demote, or terminate accordingly.

Don’t ever forget, YOU are the CEO of your life!

Evaluating every aspect of your life will allow you to learn so much about you and all that’s happening. Learning creates momentum for change. If you’re stuck in a rut, go learn something new about you with the last half of this year.

Too many people die having hundreds of regrets. Talking about the dreams they let slip away. Speaking about what they failed to do. Mourning what could have been. Don't let that be you.

Evaluate and assess everything about you and make the necessary changes to ensure that the rest of your life becomes the best of your life.

Stay connected to the Effective Living platform. We are committed to helping you get better with age. In addition to this weekly blog, we have content on the Effective Living with Ricardo Miller YouTube channel. I encourage you to subscribe to the channel and turn on the notification bell so you are alerted any time we are live. If you have not purchased your copy of my book, be sure to order it HERE. 

Those of you in or close to the Dallas-Fort Worth area area, be sure to join us at THIS weekend's Effective Living Fitness Meetup. It's not too late to register! We are excited about connecting in person with the Effective Living Community!

It's All About Decisions

Do you feel stuck in any area of your life? Are you too scared to take the appropriate steps to advance your career, relationships, health, and wealth?

Do you want to start making successful choices that will continually move you in the direction of your dreams?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, it may be time to assess your decision-making process. Understanding how the process works is essential to bypassing major obstacles along your path to effective live.

Your past decisions have had a great influence on where you are currently in life. Your decisions from this moment on will have a great influence on where you will be in the future.

Our level of success correlates with the quality of our decisions. I want to challenge you to start paying attention to the decisions you’re making on a daily basis.

Facts and data will allow you make better and smarter decisions. It is critically important you start studying your life and paying attention to what you’ve done up to this point.

Here 9 decisions that will Improve your life:

• Read books
• Be productive  
• Learn new skills
• Stop procrastinating
• Stop seeking approval
• Start selling something
• Spend less than you earn  
• Stay away from toxic people
• Create multiple streams of income

I challenge you to start incorporating these nine decisions on a daily basis and watch how your life improves in every area. When you’re feeling down and out remind yourself...

...my decisions decide my wealth.
...my decisions decide my health.
...my decisions decide my peace.          
...my decisions decide my happiness.
...my decisions decide my future.          

Don’t ever forget that we are the subtotal of the choices and decisions we make every day. I’m praying for you! I would like to help you on your journey to making better decisions to ensure that the rest of your life becomes the best of your life. Learn more about my group coaching HERE on my website.

If you are in the Dallas-Fort Worth area, I invite you to join me for the Effective Living Fitness in the Park Meetup on Saturday, June 12. Join myself and the Effective Living Crew as we continue to take care of our bodies. To learn more and register, visit the Fitness in the Park page.

Just Stop It!

You have been saying that you want to live life effectively but, you have been doing the same thing expecting a different result.

This week, I want to challenge you to stop doing some things and start paying attention to the choices you’ve been making to ensure you can take control of your life.

We are the sum total of the choices and decisions we make on a daily basis. It is critical we learn how to identify the things that are hurting us and start creating healthier practices to ensure we can stay in alignment with the concept of ‘getting better with age’.

Here are (5) five things you need to stop doing right away:

1. Comparing your success to that of others. 

2. Running from your problems. Read this blog here about facing your problems.

3. Being indecisive about what you want.

4. Going at it alone. Progress can be lonely, but it doesn’t mean you have to do it alone.

5. Trying to be everything to everyone.

Decide now that you are going to work towards becoming better in each one of these areas over the next 30 days. It’s a new day. You can take control of your life by making a daily decision not to do any of the above. Again, we are the sum total of the choices and decisions we make on a daily basis.

As a coach, it is my desire to see you advance in every area of your life. I’ve declared 2021 is our year to win in every area. Visit this page HERE or contact my office today to learn about my group coaching community that can help you discover and develop the behaviors of someone winning in life.

It would also be phenomenal if you’re in the Dallas-Fort Worth area for you to plan to join Effective Living Community at our in-person event, happening this Memorial Day Weekend. Register HERE.