Barbara Rainey's Blog, page 14

Praying for Those Who May Be Difficult to Love

Note from Barbara: This is the second of five blog posts on prayer between now and June. (You can read the first here .) I have loved reading old prayers since the days of my mothering when I discovered the prayers of saints like Susanna Wesley. Each blog post will feature one of these prayers from someone now in the great cloud of witnesses (Hebrews 12:1).  

We have much to learn from these saints of old; though some words are not in vogue today they help us see God in ways we don’t in our modern world. I hope you enjoy this series!

In this series on prayer I’m taking us back to Easter regularly because it’s there on the cross that we find answers to some of our hardest questions. Like this one: How do I love and pray for someone who is difficult?

This is not abstract for me because I have people in my life who are challenging. And the concept of praying for those who have hurt or wounded or intentionally caused me pain is not easy to do.

On Good Friday, on the cross, Jesus modeled two ways to move past the difficult with prayer and love.

The first was when He was lifted up on the cross and it dropped in place, sending excruciating pain throughout His body. His first words after that moment were these: “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34).

What would you have said while hanging on rough splintered wood? I’m quite confident I wouldn’t first pray and ask God to grant forgiveness. Instead I’d be so absorbed in the pain and shame of that cruel and torturous experience that my eyes would be turned inward, not outward on others.

Jesus was actually practicing what He’d preached in the Sermon on the Mount. He taught those listening to “pray for those who persecute you” and “bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you” (Matthew 5:44 and Luke 6:28).

Do you think that, just because this was Jesus, it was easier for Him than us?

One of the lessons in my seminary class this semester was on the person of Christ and His perfectly united dual nature. It means He was fully human and felt exactly what we would have felt. So as He hung on the cross, 100 percent innocent of any wrong, we can assume He felt the desire to withdraw into Himself and not pray.

Desire isn’t sin, but acting on desire in a way contrary to God’s will is. Jesus resisted the desire to hurl an insult or to simply refuse to forgive them. He chose to pray, which was the Father’s will.

Though for us it feels impossible to be kind and pray for someone who has hurt us, we must if we are serious about being Jesus’ disciples. Just as Jesus chose to forgive in prayer, so it is a choice we too can make. And He will help us.

Don’t wait till you feel like praying, do it by faith. As did He.

On the cross Jesus modeled a second way to respond in prayer to difficult people: He showed compassion on the thief hanging next to Him. Jesus willingly looked at someone else who needed His love.

This man had broken God’s laws and man’s laws and he knew he was guilty. Your family member or co-worker may not ever express guilt or regret, but God still calls us to follow Jesus’ example and show love.

I remember days when fights between children at our house would resound down the staircase long before breakfast hit the table. Not a morning person, I struggled to be the adult and respond with compassion and patience, and many times I failed. I needed Jesus myself and in my family. And I still need Him with my people today.

One of my favorite little books is a selection of prayers by Susanna Wesley. Without modern medicine she gave birth to 19 children, though nine died as infants. She raised ten to adulthood. And two of them you might know—Charles and John became leaders in the church. John founded the Methodist church and Charles wrote over 6,000 hymns, many still sung today.

I’ve loved Susanna Wesley across the centuries because I know she too must have dealt with a lot of sibling rivalry. And a lot of exhaustion, pain, discouragement and loss. By reading her prayers in the book, The Prayers of Susanna Wesley, I sensed her cheering me on in my mothering battles and challenges.

One of her prayers relates to the difficulty of loving and praying for those hard people in life. I’ve adapted her prayer into a longer one—note her words in quotes.

 

Abba Father,

I come asking how to love my family,

my friends, my neighbors,

 and the many with greater needs that I can supply;

 I am finite and feeble.

 

Help me serve and give and know

that “if after doing all that I can to make others happy,

they yet remain obstinately bent to follow those ways that lead to misery,

I leave them to Thy mercy.”

Amen.

 

These words speak to our timeless dilemma as humans. Susanna’s words are appropriate for anyone dealing not only with squabbling children but also with family members, friends, and even fellow church members who might be difficult to love.

The wisdom of her prayer is twofold.

First, I marvel at her desire to serve others, deserved or not. God Himself has never washed His hands of us, saying, “I quit!” And Jesus didn’t quit on the cross. To become like Him means we cannot quit either, no matter how often we find ourselves provoked by headstrong or irritating personalities.

Second, we witness Susanna’s ultimate trust in the Master of the universe, the Sovereign Lord who, in mercy, mines the depths of every human heart. She knows the One with enough power to raise the dead, be it a corpse or a wayward heart.

So who in your life has come to mind as you’ve read this? I’m confident at least one name or face has been present with you as you’ve read this far. I have a name in mind, so know you aren’t alone.

Will you join me in choosing to be like Jesus?

Will you choose to forgive? Again? Even if it seems like the millionth time?

Will you ask God to give you love for this person? Again?

Jesus told His disciples, “by this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35).  This isn’t optional.

Pray then for opportunities to bring others peace, to alleviate their pain, to bring a touch of hope. But also ask the One whose mercies are new every morning that those you serve might encounter the grace of Christ, who makes all things new … no matter how impossible the task may seem to you.

To help you talk to God, we encourage you to print the beautifully designed prayer at the beginning of this blog post.

If you enjoyed reading this, be sure to read “How to Enjoy Constant Access to God in Prayer.”  

The post Praying for Those Who May Be Difficult to Love appeared first on Ever Thine Home.

Friends & Family April 2022

To my friends far and wide:

Christ is risen!! The best news of this month and of all time.

Here’s a photo of a cross our 83-year-old neighbor built for us out of our old deck boards. We finally cemented it in the ground last fall and I have loved seeing it every day out our window. I took this photo the Monday after Easter with our snowball bush in full bloom behind it.

I have lots of stories and good things to share in this email, including a few of “my favorite things,” so grab a cup of tea or coffee and enjoy!

Dennis and I spent Holy Week and Resurrection Sunday at home, just the two of us. Primarily because of my full schedule, adding a trip to see some of our kids was not wise. We’ll be seeing most of them in May when our grandson gets married and we attend two high school graduations. Pics to come in May!

On the first weekend in April I was privileged to speak at a women’s retreat here in town for Christ Community Church. I spoke on a topic I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about: “Disappointed in God: How to Grow Hope in Hard Seasons.” As always, I learned a lot as I prepared. Probably more than the attendees. My oldest, Ashley, came and attended with me which was a huge encouragement. She’s a cheerleader for me.

Here are a few photos of the weekend.

my Ashley and me at the retreat

 

 

 

Soon after the retreat Dennis and I enjoyed lunch with Eugen and Nicoleta, a dear couple from Romania who are in the states for a month. Eugen is a pastor and together they lead marriage retreats and seminars in Romania using the Art of Marriage video series. They are making a HUGE difference in their country.

This visit was a highlight for us. We always love hearing what God is doing around the world with the content we helped create! But there’s more …

In addition to their marriage ministry, Eugen and Nicoleta now have an important ministry to refugees from Ukraine. Living near the border they’ve seen a steady influx of refugees fleeing the bombing. Their church now houses over 100 families, mostly women and children. They are providing activities for the children, including art therapy and singing, to help them try to process the enormous losses. One little boy drew a picture of a house with a front door and windows but with tears falling from the bottom of the house. It’s more sad than any of us can imagine here in our still safe and secure country.

Here is a photo we took after we had lunch.

Eugen, Nicoleta and their two sons

My seminary class is nearly complete. I have one more big assignment on the doctrine of Last Times, which should be interesting. I’ll then have a final exam in early May. I’ve enjoyed the class a lot but I will also be grateful for a summer break. I’ve signed up for “The Story of Scripture” for next fall and I’m already looking forward to it!

I’m continuing to invest time in making needed upgrades to the old farmhouse that now belongs to my two brothers and me. Two weeks ago I had a painter working at the farm and he called me as I drove to a meeting to tell me we had a leak in the roof. So we scrambled and found a roofing company close enough to come look and give us an estimate. Then we called the insurance company for an inspection to see if any of it might be covered. Within 10 days we had a new roof. Just in time for a series of big storms that blew through the week before Easter. Thankfully no new hail damage this time though many others in our state suffered lots of hail damage.

 

Photo of my new blue door at the farmhouse

I was a teenager when The Sound of Music hit theaters. I loved everything about the movie—the history, the improbable love story, the adorable children who seemed to love each other, and good triumphing over evil. All the right ingredients.

The movie made famous the song “My Favorite Things,” which I can recite to this day. While I do like some of the items in the song, here are a few of my favorite things which might make fun Mother’s Day gifts for your mom, your daughters, your sisters, or anyone else … including yourself!

My friend Sara introduced me to these kitchen towels. As soon as I saw them I knew I wanted to try them as napkins. I’m not fond of paper products at our house even though paper is easier; I hate the waste. I love these as napkins and I’ve already bought some for Mother’s Day gifts this year. Can’t say who they’re for!Another favorite is a small item called Book Darts. Also on Amazon. I love these little metal, arrow-shaped tabs for marking portions of books I love and want to return to. I’ve gifted lots of these too.And third is a set of my favorite blank note cards. We created these about five years ago using a painting I did of three pears. We ran out and just recently reprinted them in a larger size and packaged them in sets of eight. I’ve loved them for thank you notes and other communication, because who doesn’t love getting a real hand-written note in the mail? It’s such a rarity. A gift in itself.

Thanks to all of you who read to the end! Though I tried to be brief it just wasn’t possible. And I’m afraid next month won’t be short, either, with graduations and a wedding to share!

Love to all.

Ever His,

Barbara

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The Barbara Rainey Podcast: A Mother’s Legacy

As Mother’s Day approaches, I thought it fitting to share this conversation with our daughter, Ashley, on our podcast today. While this particular conversation was recorded several years ago, the things we discussed are definitely still relevant today! We talk about when we understood what leaving a legacy meant to each of us, about feeling like a failure in the hard moments of raising babies, and about what we have learned as mothers. We also talk about our book A Mother’s Legacy that we wrote together a number of years ago.

While for some, if not most of us, the mention of our mother conjures up warm feelings and a flood of sweet memories, not all our memories are sweet. Some of you may find it hard to remember any good memories. Even the best of mothers has made mistakes, but the Lord has a way of redeeming even those moments. If you read through A Mother’s Legacy you will hear stories about how women overcame hard times either as a mother or with their own mother. It is my prayer that as Mother’s Day approaches you are able to celebrate the best moments with your mother and allow the Lord to redeem those not-sweet moments. 

I hope you take a few minutes today and listen to this fun chat between my eldest daughter, myself, and Dennis on one of my favorite subjects, being a mom! You can listen here or on any popular podcast platform.

I pray you are able to celebrate this Mother’s Day with your own family. 

Ever His,

Barbara

P.S. Today with a gift of $50 or more, we would love to send you a copy of our book, A Mother’s Legacy. You can request your copy of the book here.

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How to Enjoy Constant Access to God in Prayer

One week ago the world celebrated or at least recognized the pinnacle moment of history; the Resurrection of Jesus Christ. Sadly, by the next day most everyone went back to normal living as if it never happened.

But what should be different? Or perhaps the better question is: How can my life today be changed by the Resurrection of Jesus? How can my life be transformed by the miracle of the Resurrection that happened over two thousand years ago?

Two words sum up one big difference, one seismic change that can then transform everything: Constant access.

When Jesus breathed His last on the cross, many miraculous phenomena occurred at that moment; some simultaneously, including an earthquake and graves opening with some of the dead coming to life. But for our topic today the wonder that seems more jaw-dropping to me was the ripping of the huge curtain before the Holy of Holies in the Jewish temple (Matthew 27:51). The Holy of Holies was a sacred square room where God dwelt, and no ordinary person could enter that room and therefore into His presence. The curtain guarding God’s presence was thick, heavy and woven in one gigantic piece; various Jewish sources say it was from 30-60 feet tall.

The tearing of the curtain from top to bottom, as if by invisible hands, signified many changes God was making, but an important and practical one for us today is it symbolized a new and constant access to God’s presence. Because of Christ’s sacrifice, the curtain was torn in half, by God Himself, inviting entrance into God’s holy presence for all who desire to come to Him. It’s as if God hung a sign over that space that said, “Now Open.”

That means we can talk to God, which is to enter into His presence, at any time in contrast to those who lived before the Cross who could only be near God by going to the temple. And never could they go behind the curtain.

So how does this change our prayers today?

First, we can pray anytime and anywhere because the way is now open. Jesus actually modeled this kind of praying for us. The Gospels record Him talking to His Father in various places during the day and the night. And He demonstrated a simple pattern to follow instead of giving us a list of rules with dos and don’ts. What we call the “Lord’s Prayer”—starting with “Our Father who art in heaven”—invites a personal, anytime, anywhere kind of relationship.

Any time means God is always available. As Psalm 121:4 tells us, “Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.” I love this verse because I know when I’m awake at night, which is more than I’d like, I can talk to God in the darkness of night and know He is listening.

Psalm 121:4 was the inspiration for a wonderful prayer in God’s Minute: A Book of 365 Daily Prayers published in 1916, a little book full of great prayers that I found at a flea market:

My ever-present Father,

 I praise Thee for constant access to Thee in Jesus Christ.

Thou art ever the same.

I give thanks there is never a “Closed” sign

 posted before Thy throne, nor “Away for Vacation.”

With Thee there is not even any shutting the eyes.

For Thy Word says,

“He who keeps you will neither slumber nor sleep.

How great is my God.

Amen.

Think about that! God is always available, never sleeps and is ready to listen any time I call His name!

It is incomprehensible to me to imagine life without sleep. As a mom I often craved sleep and even made it an idol. Even in my empty-nest years, without children waking me, good restful sleep is something I often long for.

Someday I will leave the confines of this earthly body. God’s promise of being made in the image of Jesus, with a glorified body, will become reality. To be unencumbered by fatigue sounds wonderful!

And it might be fun, too. Remember Jesus appeared in rooms without walking in the door? And He walked on water! What freedoms might we enjoy one day when we are with Him? For now, you and I are too confined to our earthly bodies, the tents in which we now reside.

But God. He neither slumbers nor sleeps!

Second, we can experience God’s ever-with-me presence anytime and anywhere. In the Old Testament God confined Himself to that small room, the Holy of Holies, inside the temple behind that huge thick curtain as part of His plan. Because His people didn’t have the presence of God with them as we do with the gift of the Holy Spirit, they had to go to the temple and offer sacrifices to be near God and to make peace with Him.

What a spectacular difference in life before the Cross and after! Yet, sadly, we are so accustomed to this access to God that we often take it for granted. As we look at prayer for the next month, remind yourself of the wonder of God’s access and His presence with you and in you! The Old Testament saints would be in awe. And so should we.

Practically this means I don’t have to go to church to pray and be near God. If I know Jesus as my Savior, He is not just near me, He is by His Spirit IN me. Jesus said to His disciples during the Last Supper that the Holy Spirit “dwells with you and will be in you” (John 14:17).

The holy almighty presence of God resides WITHIN me, not just near me. Let that sink in for a minute and you might feel different about your day today.

So even when we are tired or feeling far from God we may at any time, in any place, for any reason confidently approach “the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:16).

When you wake startled from a harrowing nightmare or from the cries of a sick child, or when you toss with the insomnia of an anxious heart, His eyes—and His heart—are wide open. Is there anyone else like Him? No lover, no ruler, no mother can ever compare to His unshakable open-door policy.

God invites you to approach His throne boldly. Not cautiously, fearfully, or only during certain hours, but with confidence.   Simply stunning is our access to our God.

Do you know Jesus? If you have surrendered your life to His safekeeping, this is the kind of relationship He wants—free unlimited access at any time day or night. Run to Him boldly, in every hour—and give thanks that He is perpetually available to your every need.

If you don’t know Jesus, now is a great time to surrender to Him. This kind of anytime anywhere prayer is how you begin a real relationship with God. Start by telling Him you want to know Him and that you want Him to rule and reign in your heart. Confess that you’ve done a lousy job of running your life on your own and that you want His help. Tell Him whatever you desire, but most important is your surrender, your admission you can’t do life on your own.

God loves to hear that from His children. He’s a good Father who wants the best for His kids, so invite Him to start that work in your life. This Easter season is a great time to begin!

 

This is the first of five blog posts on prayer between now and June. I have loved reading old prayers since the days of my mothering when I discovered the prayers of saints like Susanna Wesley. Each blog post will feature an old prayer from someone now in the great cloud of witnesses (Hebrews 12:1). We have much to learn from these saints of old; though some words are not in vogue today they help us see God in ways we don’t in our modern world. I hope you enjoy this series!

To help you talk to God, we encourage you to print the beautifully designed prayer at the beginning of this blog post.

 

 

Click Here to Download the Prayer Printable PDF

 

If you enjoyed reading this, be sure to read “Pestering God,” another post by Barbara about prayer.

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I AM the Resurrection and the Life

“I AM the Resurrection and the Life.
Whoever believes in Me, though He die,
yet shall He live.”
John 11:25

Today we have arrived at the summit! The pinnacle moment of our faith.

The tomb is empty … grave clothes vacant … stone rolled away! The Lamb of God has taken away the sins of the world!!!

Celebrate today as no other day or event all year.

Christ is risen!

Christ is risen indeed!!!

Hallelujah what a Savior!

Happy Easter everyone!

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Silent Saturday

“Silent Saturday” says it all.

The hopes of all Jesus’ disciples were completely dashed. To watch the brutality of any crucifixion was difficult. To watch the One you loved and worshipped crucified and murdered unjustly was traumatic.

As they mourned at home, it was the Sabbath, so no work was being done. Those who were there at the crucifixion replayed the shock and horror of it all. The disciples probably berated themselves for not doing something … anything … to stop the injustice. They wondered how they would go on with life without Jesus. Death always makes those left behind feel insurmountable despair.

And so we too on this day must sit with the emotions of lost hope. We too have felt what the disciples and His followers felt. Even though we know Sunday is coming, resist rushing past this day of loss.

Wait with the disciples in spirit.

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I AM the Way, the Truth, and the Life

“I AM the Way, and the Truth, and the Life.
No one comes to the Father except through Me.”
John 14:6

This trinity of names illustrates well the message of the Cross.

There is one way to God: Jesus the Messiah.

There is one Truth: Jesus the Messiah.

There is one Life Source, one Creator, one pre-incarnate I AM: Jesus the Messiah.

Today, Good Friday, is a day to remember and reflect on what Jesus endured for you. Go to a church service. Reread the story of the crucifixion in the Gospels. Allow yourself to feel the anguish and abandonment Jesus felt alone on the cross. Read Isaiah 53, which is a prophetic description of those hours.

It is important to go near His death, to imagine His every feeling as a fully human yet completely sinless man. Going near grows our gratitude for His sacrifice and prepares our hearts to worship and celebrate with abandon on Easter Sunday.

Go near Him.

Gaze on His sacrificial body, given for you.

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I AM the True Vine

“I AM the True Vine,
and my Father is the vinedresser.
 … I am the vine, you are the branches. Whoever abides in Me
 and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit,
for apart from me you can do nothing.”
John 15:1, 5

Horticulture is the symbol for this name Jesus speaks about Himself. The application is obvious: where are we planted? In the True Vine of Christ or in a counterfeit vine?

Not so obvious is our root system which is always below the soil of any growing thing. Are we sending roots into unhealthy poisonous soil or into soil by “streams of water that yields its fruit in its season” (Psalm 1:4)?

This is the call of Jesus to us every day: Pay attention to your soil, notice where you are abiding. The word abiding means to draw your life source from. The True Vine invites our full complete connection in Him.

May it be so especially this Holy Week.

Soak in His life-giving Truth. It is food for your soul.

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I AM the Good Shepherd

“I AM the Good Shepherd.
I know my own and My own know Me. … 
I lay down My life for My sheep.”
John 10:14-15

Leaders are shepherds.

Parents, teachers, coaches, mayors, governors, employers, pastors, priests, and every other titled position of authority implies a responsibility of caring, of shepherding the welfare of others.

The entire chapter of Ezekiel 34 is a pronouncement of judgment by God against those who shepherd His people with neglect, malicious intent, and evil acts. The history of God’s people is replete with bad leaders.

Have you followed bad shepherds in your quest to find meaning and fulfillment? Most of us have at some point in some way.

So when Jesus declared Himself the Good Shepherd, He was creating a contrast between Himself and every other shepherd in history.

Over whom do you have a shepherding responsibility?

Are you a good shepherd like Jesus is?

Only God is good, but in Christ we can become good in our leadership.

Will you follow Him?

He waits for you.

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I AM the Door

“I AM the Door.
If anyone enters by Me, He will be saved
and will go in and out and find pasture.”
John 10:9

Doors signal an entrance.

Since the Garden of Eden’s passageway was marked by the cherubim and flaming sword entryways have been noted by man-made doors. Fashioned of stone or wood, leather or cloth, adorned with gold and formidable or crudely assembled and decrepit, passageways are marked, but not all are visible.

Yet God in His great kindness told us the portal to eternal life is His Son, Jesus.

Not only is He the entrance to salvation, but He also is the Source of everything we need on our pilgrimage to our eternal home.

Peter, who walked on water then sank, who betrayed Jesus then repented, wrote a letter near the end of his life confidently telling us Christ “has granted us all things that pertain to life and godliness.” He added that through the promises of God we can become “partakers of the divine nature” (2 Peter 1:3,4).

Do you need a taste of the divine nature in your life today? Are you struggling with emotions, feelings, desires that are anything but godly? How many doors have you tried in your quest for fulfillment?

Oh, that you would run to and through the Door! Jesus is the entrance. He will give you everything you need today and in every circumstance yet ahead.

Walk with Him and experience the peace of living in His pastures.

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