Barbara Rainey's Blog, page 13

Lost and Found: Truth Shows the Way

Note from Barbara: This is the first in a series of posts taken from my book, Growing Together in Truth. These stories are designed to read individually or as a family. May you and your family always live according to God’s truth. And may your knowledge of the truth lead each of you to actions that will bring much good to the world in which we live.

In 1914, twenty-seven men boarded the ship Endurance under the command of Ernest Shackleton, bound for the frozen continent of Antarctica. This was Shackleton’s second journey to Antarctica; he knew what to expect. Or so he thought.

Five months later and only one day from their destination, the temperatures dropped dramatically. The sea became solid ice and they were stranded for the winter. Six months later—all without sunshine—the men had survived, but their ship had not. Slowly it had been crushed by the icepack, and it finally sank.

The men stripped the Endurance of her rigging and sails, provisions and, most importantly, her three wooden lifeboats. When the ship sank, they began walking slowly, day after day, hauling their supplies and salvaged hopes of survival across the frozen sea. Finally, in April 1916, with the ice beginning to thaw, they spotted Elephant Island and were able to row to land. After 497 days, they were on terra firma again. But the island was uninhabited; they were still lost.

Leaving 22 men behind, Shackleton set sail with five others in one of the lifeboats. They headed for South Georgia Island, 750 miles away, with only a sextant (an instrument for measuring latitude and longitude) to guide them. Accurate readings of the sextant were critical. A mistake of only one degree could take them off course by hundreds of miles. But they trusted the sextant and it guided them safely to their destination. A rescue from South Georgia Island was launched, and not one man from the Endurance perished.

Years later a little girl was lost in a sea of concrete at 25th and Diamond Streets. She knew how to find her way home; her problem was she couldn’t find her way out. The intersection of those streets in inner-city Philadelphia was the hub of the projects.  Gang infested and crime ridden, it was as unsafe for a little girl as the frozen ocean had been for the crew of the Endurance.

Karen remembers stepping over broken glass and smelling the stench of urine as she would climb the stairs to her apartment after school. Once inside, her home felt like a cage because of the metal fencing that closed off the small patio opening. She was in charge of her little brother because her mother was usually at work. Karen was only seven.

One year later, her mom got married and they moved from the projects to a suburb. Though her mother didn’t go to church, she insisted that her children attend. So Karen took her brother and walked to the church down the street every Sunday. There Mrs. Green—always dressed in a hat, gloves, and a fine dress—taught Karen’s Sunday school class. Little Karen heard words of truth and hope.

For Karen, church was an escape from the tension at home between her mom and stepfather, who seemed to fight all the time. In fact, all Karen had seen of family life was women marrying  young, divorcing young, and then moving on to the next man. But the people who taught the Bible at her church modeled family stability, and Karen wanted that.

During the summer of her 14th birthday, Karen decided to follow God’s plan for her life. She heard the words of John 3:16: “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.”

Karen recalls, “To know that God loved me, that His Son was a free gift for me, brought great security. I felt so loved, understanding that God wanted me, that I could go to heaven, that there was a place for me. I’d been in and out of a lot of different houses over my life, so this promise of a secure place where I could belong forever was my way out of an unhappy childhood.”

Karen found her sextant, the truth of the Bible.

In college Karen fell in love with a young man named Crawford who came from a fine family. Before she walked down the aisle in marriage, her grandmother whispered, “Karen, if it doesn’t work out, you can always come home to me.” The first year of marriage was very hard. She was tempted to run back to her grandma, but Karen had told God she wanted to live His way. She was committed to finding answers in the Bible, not her grandma’s house.

God rescued Karen because she trusted God’s truth to guide her just as Shackleton trusted the sextant to guide him. She believed His Word would set her free to live a better life, and it did.

Memory verse

“If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:31-32

Questions about truth

The Bible says that Jesus Christ is “the same yesterday and today and forever” (Hebrews 13:8. Even though people will change, God never changes. His Word is our GPS.

Have you ever been lost and needed someone to rescue you? Describe how you felt when you were lost. What was it like to receive help and guidance during that time?What are some of the things we sometimes depend on that might not always be reliable?

Truth in action

Go to a library or go online to read more about Ernest Shackleton’s adventure to Antarctica. One suggested book is Endurance: Shackleton’s Incredible Voyage, by Alfred Lansing. Discuss how the perseverance and eventual rescue of these 28 men applies to the Christian journey.Discuss how Karen’s life might have been different had she chosen to ignore the teachings of the Bible.

Praying together for truth

God, You have always been the Deliverer. As You delivered Moses and the people of Israel from bondage, still today You are able to deliver all who call on You, to set their feet on solid ground and to set them free. You rescue those who are lost. Teach me to follow You closely that I may not trust my own way but only Yours. Amen.

 

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Friends & Family June 2022

Every month, when I begin to write this letter to all of you, I’m amazed at how full the days of that month have been. Last month was filled with seminary class finals, graduations, and our grandson’s wedding, plus the travel for all these events. June began for us the morning after James’s wedding as we headed to the airport to fly to Budapest, Hungary!

Dennis and I went on a river cruise with Dallas Theological Seminary and had the opportunity to speak to all the guests on “Right-Sizing Relationships with Adult Children.” We enjoyed sharing with all the couples the many lessons we’ve learned mostly from our mistakes. Isn’t that how we all learn?

This is a photo of us with Dr. Mark Yarbrough, president of the seminary, who introduced us for our session on the ship.

There were many highlights from the cruise, of course. One of the biggest was the great conversations we had with several couples. Three of them we’ve known for years; one is the chairman of the Ever Thine Home board. Others were new friends, including a seminary prof. After getting to know him and his wife, I think I’ll be taking his class on the prophets. He’s from Canada originally and we really enjoyed hearing their stories.

 

Another highlight for us was the last city where we got off the ship and stayed for a few days. Prague is an amazing and beautiful city. Our son Samuel backpacked around Europe after college with a buddy and Prague was by far his favorite place, so I’ve been eager to see it for a long time. It didn’t disappoint.

Besides discovering quaint restaurants and cafes and enjoying all the gorgeous architecture, we went to an international church on our last Sunday before departing early Tuesday. It was Pentecost Sunday, June 5 this year, and the pastor began by saying they often ask for a roll-call of nations. Like the day of Pentecost in Acts 2, this church was filled with believers from all over the world including: China, Korea, Philippines, Ukraine, Czech Republic, Tanzania, South Africa, United Kingdom, United States, Hungary, Germany, Canada, and more. The many languages spoken was a taste of what heaven will be like! It was really cool.

Flying home we missed our connection and had to stay in Amsterdam for a night, finally arriving in Little Rock about 24 hours later. Jet lag is real. And it is not my favorite thing!

Our first full day home was a fog but over the next few days we got our to-do lists in order, caught up on things like mail, laundry, grocery store, emails, pulling the millions of weeds that grew, and all the other agendas waiting for our return. A week later I still wasn’t fully back to normal. It just takes time.

Nine days after returning from Prague we flew to Colorado to babysit five of our grands for a week while their parents went on their own river cruise. I took my art supplies and a book to read to all of them at bedtime every night. The book is the first in the Inheritance Cycle, a book my grandsons read several years ago and loaned me to read. We read for hours while we were with them.

On Sunday, before Rebecca and Jake left, we went to visit their first-born Molly’s grave—what we call her “doorway.” A doorway is a term that comes from a poem by Calvin Miller that Dennis read at her memorial service. The line reads, “ … our graves are merely doorways cut in sod.” Molly lived seven days and made a mighty impact on many lives. Rebecca and I wrote a book about her life and our families’ experiences, which is sadly now out of print. I’m praying we can find a way to reprint it one day.

And one last memory to share: We went to dinner with Rebecca and Jake and we had a tiny celebration of our upcoming 50th wedding anniversary. After dinner we went searching for our first house; we lived in Boulder for our first year and a half of marriage and bought our first home there. We found it and had so much fun telling our kids all about it.

Our Ever Thine Home team is planning for our 50th anniversary in early September and our kids are planning a weekend for all of us to celebrate. So watch for announcements of our plans and ways you can be involved!

Happy summer everyone!

Ever His,

Barbara

Friends & Family June 2022 will be the last personal monthly letter from Barbara to appear on our blog page. Starting in July her monthly correspondence will be available only through email and only to our subscribers. So if you are reading this through our website be sure to subscribe for FREE here and don’t miss out on Friends and Family, weekly blogs, new products and offers or podcasts.

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The Holy Spirit Is My Friend: He Is Always With Me

Today’s blog post is an excerpt from my new ebook, Who Is the Holy Spirit: How You Can Hear From Him. In this ebook I talk about the Spirit’s role as our Friend, Helper, Purifier, Teacher, and Guide. Be sure to download the entire ebook!

For many summers, Dennis and I attended annual training events in Colorado as part of our work with Campus Crusade for Christ (now called Cru). We took our entire family, and we usually tacked on a week of vacation in the mountains.

This conference supplied childcare and youth camps for all the kids, so I was usually able to attend all the adult meetings. It was a great gift to me as a mom of six. But normal family challenges followed us west every summer. I learned that vacations or trips away from home are never free from selfishness, sin, or childhood sickness.

One summer all our kids got chicken pox; every two weeks another one or two developed the tell-tale rash. It was a long summer for me.

On one of these days in the summer of 1985 I wrote in my journal:

“I really wanted to go to the meetings today especially because this is the day of praise and worship. But here I am in the apartment being a mother to a sick child. Mothering doesn’t stop. Their needs don’t stop. Once again I am isolated and my husband is not. I’m not feeling sorry for myself … this time. I know I can worship anywhere. I’m sorting out my feelings about how to know closeness with God as a mom.”

I was always inspired by speakers and missionaries who told stories of God’s work around the world. But on that day I began to wonder why I never heard a woman—specifically a mother—stand on stage and share how she experienced God in her life with her children, in her home. It seemed to be a void.

I asked, “If the Holy Spirit dwells in and with me and other Christian mothers I know, how do I see Him work in my life, in my sometimes very little unexciting world?” That question lodged itself in my thinking, and it began an ongoing quest to learn more about the Holy Spirit.

Throughout the Bible there are verses which mention the plurality of God—that He is One yet three persons. In the first chapter of Genesis it is written, “Let Us make man in Our image, in Our likeness” (Genesis 1:26). His unity and oneness is again evident in the very next verse: “So God created man in his own image … male and female he created them.” The Spirit is a member of the Trinity … eternal and fully God, as is the Son and the Father.

The Holy Spirit was equally involved in creation, for it says in Genesis 1:2, “And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters.” His presence in the workings of God from these first pages to the end of the Bible is evident in many other verses.

But we learn specific details about Him when Jesus explained to His disciples what the Spirit would do for them after Jesus departed to go back to the Father. Many of those descriptors are found in the book of John in chapters 14 and 16.

Did you know that having the Holy Spirit is better than having the physical person of Jesus? That may sound strange to say, but Jesus said it Himself:

“Nevertheless, I tell you the truth: it is to your advantage that I go away, for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you. But if I go, I will send him to you” (John 16:7).

Jesus was confined to a body when He lived on earth. He could only be in a single place at a time. But the Spirit is in every place around the globe where a believer is found, because when you receive Christ as your Lord and Savior, the Spirit comes to dwell with you and in you (John 14:16-17). I find that truth amazing, stunning actually, that the Spirit of God who is eternal, perfect, holy, all-powerful, and all-knowing (among many other attributes) actually lives within me! Do you?

Because the Spirit is with us and in us, if we know Jesus as Savior He helps us walk with Jesus Christ and gives us the power or strength to choose His ways, to follow Him, and to serve Him. One of the ways he does this—one that is particularly meaningful to me as a woman, a mother, and a grandmother—is through is role as Friend.

My best friend on earth is my husband. We have shared life together for five decades. In that journey we have talked about everything together, suffered losses together, and loved each other in sickness and in health, in good and in bad times. We have proven we are committed to each other forever. We promised to never leave or forsake each other, and we have never wavered from those vows, even when our marriage felt impossible at times.

But even a great marriage is temporary. There is always the reality that one of us will die before the other.

But the Spirit is always with me.

What a delight to know I have a friend even closer than my husband! In John 15:15 Jesus says, “No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you.”

When I received Christ as my Savior, Jesus came to dwell in me by His Spirit. Romans 8:9 tells me, “Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to Him.” Because I have the Holy Spirit Jesus sent living in me, and because He will never leave me, I know He is my dearest Friend! 

Pause and think about this for a second: the Holy Spirit, present at creation with God the Father and God the Son, who is Himself fully God and is one with Jesus, desires a friend relationship with you. A real heart-to-heart relationship where you talk to Him and He to you. Does that stun you with wonder?

Quite honestly, I felt a little odd at first calling the Spirit my Friend. It sounded presumptuous. But over the years I’ve talked to Him more and more, asked Him to guide me and reveal Himself to me, shared my life with Him, and asked Him almost everything. I’ve become increasingly comfortable calling Him Friend. 

He is not offended at all by my familiarity with Him because God is the One who initiated a relationship with us. He pursues us. He invites and desires a relationship. God called Moses and David His friend and Jesus called His disciples friends; so too the Spirit is our Friend.

The Holy Spirit whom Jesus sent on Pentecost can be your best Friend because He is always with you. Before I believed and gave my life to Jesus, I only hoped God was with me. I knew about Him but didn’t know Him personally. But when I surrendered my life to Him and invited Him to live within me, the Spirit of Christ came to dwell both in and with me! He has been given to be my constant companion.

When Jesus promised to send the Holy Spirit, He said, “He will be with you forever” (John 14:16). So no matter where you go, He is always with you. You will never outgrow this friendship. You’ll never mature out of this friendship. You’ll never drift apart from this dearest of any Friend.

David said in Psalm 139:7, “Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence?” You cannot escape Him, because if you are a child of God He promised never to leave you.

Just as God the Father delights in us His children, so the Spirit delights in hearing from us. He listens to our challenges, our prayers, even our questions and doubts. This is how we experience God. And we moms understand this.

Moms know our children very well yet delight in listening to their faltering prayers to God, their questions … well, sometimes … and their exuberant tales of discovering and learning things we have known for decades. It helps me to think of myself as God’s child. He already knows what I’m going to say, but He wants me to ask and share anyway because He delights in me (Psalm 41:11), which encourages me to talk more, to share more instead of withdrawing into silence because He already knows.

The Holy Spirit longs to converse with you. He’s waiting to listen and be heard. Do you want to become friends with Him too?

Reflection

If the information in this chapter about the Holy Spirit is new to you, find a Bible and read these passages: John 14:15-21 and John 16:12-15. If you have time, read all of both chapters. They are the last words of Jesus and worth reading closely.What do you think about the Holy Spirit as your Friend? Is this a new idea to you? Do you want to be His friend? If you do, pray and tell Him how you feel about Him and that you’d like to know Him better.If you are like me, amazed that the majestic God of the universe wants to be with me and is in fact with me and in me, give Him thanks for this incredible privilege. And then if you want to explore this more, look up all the verses where God tells us He is with us. You’ll be equally amazed by how many times He promised us His presence!

If you were encouraged by this excerpt, be sure to download the entire ebook, Who Is the Holy Spirit: How You Can Hear From Him.

 

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When Bad News Increases Our Anxiety, Where Can We Find Stability?

The bad news feels relentless right now.

Inflation is rising steadily, gas prices are ridiculous, and the ongoing supply chain problems keep popping up like the game “Whack-a-mole.” How unexpected and crazy that suddenly there was no baby formula on store shelves?

Worst of all is, of course, gun violence. We are shocked at every mass shooting, but we are also becoming a little more numb every time. The body can only absorb so much bad news, so it’s not all bad that we turn away sometimes from the onslaught. If we are near and can do something, we must. If we are far away we can pray and we must, but we can’t all carry all these heavy loads. Only our Father in heaven can do that and He has asked us to let Him carry our burdens. In Matthew 11:28 Jesus says, “Come to me all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

Our calling is to walk in His Spirit listening to His individual leading in our lives. (For more on the Spirit-led life, look for my new ebook coming next week.)

Still those shootings that make national news, like the awful shooting in Uvalde, Texas, must be taken to God. Ask Him what He wants to teach you or how He wants to use you. But mass shootings aren’t the only ones. Many others happen weekly. And unless we keep up with local news via some reporting source we miss the single shootings or the overdose deaths which are no less tragic than a mass killing.

All this bad news leads to fear, anxiety, withdrawal, and anger.

We give voice to our outrage on social media, but at home in private we try to carry on as if nothing has changed. We pretend it doesn’t affect us. But underneath our confident exteriors, the fear still lurks.

In days like these I have learned to remind myself of several truths I know are unchanging.

We are not the first to live in anxiety filled days. I think back to the years of World War II and other eras of war and disease in history and remind myself God brought those people through hard times and He will do the same with me and my people. Many of those people were sure the world was ending, or at least that they were living in the last days. We may think so too, but only God knows. God has a plan and He is always working it. None of us can know what God is up to but we can know He is not asleep. Psalm 121:4 says, “Behold, He who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.”

God is not clueless. He is not absent. He is not forgetful or overwhelmed. Quite the opposite. Jesus told us “My Father is working …” (John 5:17). God is active and ruling all the time, even when we can’t see His hand and what we do see makes no sense. 

God will make all things right one day. He has promised He will settle scores one day, as He says in Romans 12:19: “Vengeance is mine, I will repay.” He has also promised “I am making all things new” (Revelation 21:5). Therefore, I can relax in His promises to make things right and new one day.  Today is not the end of the story. There are days that feel earth shattering, days that feel like a gaping hole has opened beneath our feet and we are falling into an abyss of the unknown. But God reminds us, “even there your hand shall lead me” (Psalm 139:10), “nothing is too hard for you” (Jeremiah 32:17), and “we know that for those who love God all things work together for good” (Romans 8:28). We can trust Him. Period.

Another place to find comfort and stability in times like these is in the words of great hymns of the faith. Isaac Watts wrote the enduring hymn, “O God, Our Help in Ages Past.” which is based on Psalm 90 which begins, “Lord, thou hast been our dwelling place in all generations … even from everlasting to everlasting, thou art God” (KJV).

Music can stick in our brains, and when the words point us to trust in Jesus that’s is a very good thing. Lyrics based on Scripture can remind us that our fears, though circumstantially different than those in ages past, are still the same as those faced by saints today. Here are three stanzas to this hymn by Isaac Watts which I pray will give you a sense of peace.

O God, our help in ages past,

Our hope for years to come,

Our shelter from the stormy blast,

And our eternal home.

 

Within the shadow of thy throne

Still may we dwell secure;

Sufficient is thine arm alone,

And our defense is sure.

 

Before the hills in order stood,

or earth received its frame,

From everlasting thou art God,

To endless years the same.

We all fear the loss of life, health, freedom, peace, and the unknown future. Though we bravely say as Christians that we do not fear hardship and even death, when its threat comes near our fears fly to the surface and force us to decide what we believe.

Like the terrorist’s bombs, the shooter’s bullets, or the constant shelling in Ukraine, none of us knows what tomorrow will bring.

But I do know who will be there with me! I do know He has promised to never leave me or forsake me because as Watts wrote, “From everlasting thou art God and endless years the same.”

The unbroken cord of three strands woven steadily through the fabric of time is Jesus, one with the Father and the Spirit, who is “the same yesterday, today, and forever” (Hebrews 13:8).

These words have been of comfort to me through my roller coaster experiences in life, including my menopause years when I felt crazy at times I reminded myself: He never changes.

When the next mass shooting occurs and my fears multiply with the frightening aftermath, I will remember, He never changes.

He is my comfort in times of trouble, just as He has been for His people for thousands of years.

He is my only hope for the years to come.

He is my shelter from the stormy blast.

He is and will be my eternal home.

When something happens to shake your life and world, where will your hope be? I’m so grateful for the words of Newton’s hymn, which often plays as background music in my mind, reminding me of His enduring, unshakable, eternal presence.

O God our help in ages past,

Our help for years to come.

Be thou our guide while life shall last,

And our eternal home.

He never changes!

As Isaiah 33:6 tells us, “He is the stability of our times.”

 

To find our designed printable of Isaiah 33:6, a key verse for our unstable times, go to our Etsy store .

If this article encouraged you, here are a couple additional articles Barbara wrote on trusting God in difficult times:

“What to Do With Unanswerable Questions About an Unknown Future” “In Times of War, Our God, Our Mighty Fortress, Is Still the Stability of Our Times”

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Motherhood Is a Ministry

Note from Barbara: Last month The Joyful Life magazine ran an interview with me and I was able to talk about a number of topics relevant to young wives and moms. The following is an excerpt from that interview; you can read the entire interview here.

What is one thing younger mothers struggle with today that wasn’t a struggle when you were younger—and what is your advice to them?

I’ve had multiple conversations with young moms who have felt guilty that they didn’t have a ministry like other women they know, or know of, in their 20s, 30s, and 40s. Because of Instagram, many young wives and moms have achieved instant celebrity status. It’s like being the most popular girl in high school but on a much larger scale. And the stakes are equally high.

All of these moms have told me they see other women starting ministries or writing books or blogs, and they feel their stay-at-home mommy job is inferior. My reply to all of these many young women has been the same.

First, I tell them I felt the same way; raising kids full-time was not regarded highly by our culture when I was a young mom, and the rush was on for women to return to the workforce.  Working moms were lauded and celebrated for being able to “do it all.” TV commercials and the media heralded these women for doing it all.  

But let me tell you, no one can do it all. We all have limitations and “for everything there is a season” (Ecclesiastes 3:1). To believe otherwise is to be seduced by the enemy of our souls who loves nothing more than to harm children, marriages, and families.

Two months ago I had a sweet conversation with a young woman, pregnant with her first child, working full-time in a ministry but about to resign. We had been discussing this topic in a larger group, and I shared that I worry about the marriages and children of these young moms who are being courted by publishers, running ministries, and absorbing the accolades of thousands of women.

To illustrate this trend, my book Letters to My Daughters was rejected by all the major publishing companies, and many smaller ones, because of my age. I am not a young, promising new author. And mine isn’t the only experience being rejected because of age. The pressure to produce is on young women today.

As I voiced my concern for these women, I said, “I’m afraid someone will pay; someone will suffer for a mom’s decision to have a full-time career or lead a ministry and have children and grow a thriving marriage.” I’ve seen too many failed marriages and lost children already. At our break, this adorable young mom-to-be said, “Thank you for saying someone will pay.” With her hands caressing her pregnant belly she continued, “I don’t want my baby to be the one to pay if I continued my job full-time.”

Secondly, I share with young moms my passionate belief that mothering is a ministry, a high and holy calling to raise and invest in the spiritual development of the next generation. No one can do that work but you. God gave you your babies, and He intends for you and your husband to be the primary influence in their lives for all of their first 18 years. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Nothing is more important.

But parenting is a season. It’s not the whole of your life. There will be time one day, unless Jesus comes back, to do all you dream and more. And if Jesus does return, God will fulfill those desires in heaven. He wastes nothing.

There is also great pressure on today’s young women to not just do it all but to have it all. Again, Instagram and other social media showcase homes that, in my generation, most couldn’t afford until their 40s or 50s or beyond. So many women, often encouraged or pushed by husbands, go to work to achieve a status of living that is born out of comparison.

Yes, there are women who need to work, but too often today “need” is defined very differently than it used to be. Too often, need today is not to put food on the table or clothes on your kids’ backs, but to earn more money to accumulate more things, more house, more status.

The temptation to compare is as old as Adam and Eve, who listened to Satan whisper that God hadn’t given them enough, that more could be theirs if they followed his plan. The same temptations continue today in a million nuanced ways. Compare. Conclude you don’t have enough. And compare again and again. Always Satan whispers, “You can have all this, do this, too.”

But God calls us to mimic His Son, not other fallible humans.

The pressure today is real and because it comes from within the Christian community, the urge to have a ministry feels more noble and right than a desire for just a job.

Choose to be okay with being unknown or unrecognized outside your community or church. Choose to invest in your children and marriage today knowing He will give you other opportunities in the future. Choose to wait on God’s timing for His plans for your life. These are courageous steps of great faith.

And I applaud all the unseen, unrecognized moms who are choosing to be content in those places. These women are living for the future. They are laying up treasures in heaven.

If you enjoyed this article, here are some more articles by Barbara on motherhood:

“The Phantom Mom” “It’s All About Our Hearts” “Dear Barbara: I’m an Overwhelmed Mom!”

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A Prayer for Your Children and Grandchildren … if You Dare

In my seminary class on the doctrines of our faith, our professor Dr. John Hannah told a story of how he prayed for his girls when they were growing up. “I used to pray for their safety and their protection,” he said. “Then one day I realized what God would have me pray is for His will to be done in their lives. So I changed and started praying that. And I added ‘And give them the grace to accept what You have planned.’”

I remember having similar thoughts when we raised our six. I too prayed for safety, often because I loved our children and when they got hurt, I hurt. When they suffered, I suffered too. Because parents and grandparents love these little people God has given us, this is a natural prayer.

But is safety the most important request we can ask of God?

A story in the Bible helped me understand why praying for God’s will mattered so much. This scene in the Old Testament also caused me to fear offending God and helped me see the seriousness of tolerating sin in our children. It’s the story of Eli and his two sons.

1 Samuel 2 records that these two young men were “worthless men” who “did not know the Lord” (verse 12). Their sin was great, they “treated the offering of the Lord with contempt” (verse 17), and they “would not listen to the voice of their father” (verse 25). Soon after these pronouncements God spoke to Eli and asked, “Why then do you scorn my sacrifices and my offerings that I commanded for my dwelling, and honor your sons above me …?” (1 Samuel 2:29). Though Eli disapproved of his sons’ behavior, his words to his boys were empty and without conviction because he himself was guilty of the same excesses. 

We parents must ask the same question of ourselves and our posture toward our children. Do we honor our children above God and His Word?

God brought the same charge against David, who God Himself labeled a man after His own heart. Clearly our devotion to a godly life does not preclude a softness toward our children.

David refused to discipline his son Adonijah, his favorite after his first three heirs had died. We can understand his softness toward this son. Wouldn’t we do the same?

In his grief over the deaths of his oldest three sons David found comfort in being lenient with this fourth son, his next heir. He knew what we know: When our children are happy and enjoying the best things in life, we are happy too. David needed some happiness in his life.

But God knows being soft on sin is a recipe for disaster. And Adonijah knew God had chosen his younger brother, Solomon, to be king. But he refused to surrender to God’s plan. He gathered an army, proclaimed himself king and rallied the people to his side.

In the ensuing drama between Solomon, his mother Bathsheba, and David on his deathbed, Adonijah and some of his men who were once David’s allies were killed. More loss and heartache for David and more unrest and insecurity in the nation. It didn’t have to end this way.

God’s declaration about David was blunt and forthright: He had never crossed his son, Adonijah, by asking,  “Why have you done thus and so?” (1 Kings 1:6). Parenting and grandparenting is a serious responsibility because the future of children is in our hands. And sin doesn’t just affect one person but has ripple effects on many.

Comfort is an idol in our land. So are all its cousins—safety, prosperity, happiness, abundance, popularity, and all the experiences of the good life. Have we lost sight of God’s values? Have we bought the culture’s lie that a life fully devoted to Jesus Christ is boring, destined to marginalization, and clearly unexciting?

If you’ve read this far wondering about the prayer of my title, here is my challenge if you dare. Yes, pray for the safety of your children … pray, for example, that your 16-year-old driver is careful and stays safe every time he or she gets behind the wheel. But I hope you will also ask God that His will and purposes and plans will be fulfilled in this child made in His image for purposes and glory we can’t imagine.

Why do I say “if you dare”? Somehow the enemy of our souls, Satan, has deceived us into believing that asking God for His will to be done is a dangerous prayer. We have believed turning our kids over to God is inviting His wrath and a disaster of some kind. We fear God will treat our kids like He treated Job in the Old Testament. But we forget God loved Job and in the process of his temporary suffering and loss Job SAW GOD! And his life after his trials was better in every way than before.

I bet if Job could be interviewed today and we asked if the hardships were worth it, he would reply “Yes!” a thousand times. Having been through many trials I heartily agree. What I’ve learned and seen in God makes every minute of the pain and losses worth it.

Dare we rob our children of the unspeakable privilege of seeing and experiencing an encounter with God?

Do we really think letting them play with sin, or letting them refuse to submit to our rules and standards (if our standards are godly and in line with God’s Word) is a safe path for them to walk?

Jesus taught His disciples to pray. But the Lord’s Prayer isn’t just a beautiful set of words set to music to be sung at weddings. Nor is it just a pattern to follow. Jesus in this prayer gave us the essentials for everyday prayer. Every day we are to worship God as Lord with words similar to His:

 ‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.

Then immediately following this adoration Jesus said we need to pray:

Your kingdom come, your will be done,

on earth as it is in heaven”

Matthew 6:9-10

Genuinely asking God to work His will in our lives and our kids’ lives feels like a risk because we are asking for a great unknown. And we are giving up control! But who knows your child better, you or His Maker?

Will you dare to pray this prayer for your children and grandchildren?

I’m praying this now for all my grandkids and their parents. And in some situations I’m asking God to do whatever it takes to get their attention so they will see their need of a Savior and surrender to Him.

Someone once said, “The safest place to be is in the center of God’s will.” I believe that’s true.

If you belong to the King your highest goal for your children is that they too would belong to Him and choose on their own to follow Him … because they see, in their parents and grandparents, models of adults satisfied and happy in Jesus.

As we close out this series of blog posts on prayer I invite you to take seriously Jesus’ teaching on prayer. Will you ask for His will to be done first in your life? Will you dare ask Him where you are being soft or permissive with your own choices and behaviors?

Then ask yourself what God would say to you about your parenting? Are you guilty like Eli and David of valuing your children’s happiness over their holiness?

Easter taught us the extremes to which God was willing to go to bring us back to Himself. All because He loves His children, you and me, that much. Will you let the grace and mercy and love and forgiveness of Jesus on the cross motivate you to want His will for your life and for your children and grandchildren more than anything else? Then will you be willing to do what is necessary to cooperate with His will?

The first step is prayer. Surrendered-to-His-will prayers followed by asking for the daily bread of His grace and strength to accept and follow His good will.

I hope you will join me and begin to pray this prayer for your children and grandchildren regularly:

My Father in heaven,

Dearest Father of my child

Who You love more than I possibly can;

  May Your will be done in my child’s life.

May Your purposes be fulfilled

for in Your plan will my child find deepest fulfillment

and meaning in life.

And grant my child the grace to accept your good will.

Help him to trust You

and be willing to follow You even when the way seems hard.

Thank you that you are a good Father

Who delights to give good gifts to Your children,

to those who believe in You above all else.

  May Your kingdom come on earth

As it is in heaven.

Amen.

 

To help you talk to God, we encourage you to print the beautifully designed prayer in this blog post. Click here to download. 

This is the final post in a six-part series on prayer. If you missed the others, here they are:

“How to Enjoy Constant Access to God in Prayer” “Praying for Those Who May Be Difficult to Love” “Rushed Prayers: Treating God Like He’s a Vending Machine” “ Unanswered Prayer: When God Doesn’t “Come Through” As You Expected, Then What? ” “Are You Afraid to Pray Big Prayers? Nothing Is Impossible for God”

 

 

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The Barbara Rainey Podcast: God is Enough

What do you know about Pentecost and the Holy Spirit? I have found that so many people I come in contact with don’t understand who the Holy Spirit is and how He fits into the Trinity. I say all of this because Pentecost–which celebrates the coming of the Spirit–is this Sunday, June 5.

In this episode of The Barbara Rainey Podcast, I talk about Pentecost and what it means for our faith. I take a deep dive into the Scriptures and look at what the Holy Spirit does as He lives within us.

On the subject of the Holy Spirit, I wanted to let you know I am working on a new ebook on the subject of the Holy Spirit that will be released in the next few weeks. Be sure to check your email for the link to download it later this summer. 

For now, I urge you to take a quick listen to this new episode and I pray you learn something new about our great God and the Holy Spirit. You can listen here or on any popular podcast platform.

Ever His,

Barbara

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Pentecost: The Forgotten Celebration

 

As you have probably noticed, holidays are important in my life and in the life of my family. I’ve invested a good amount of time to find creative and memorable ways to mark these annual days on the calendar we call holidays—especially those with connections to our faith.

From the early days of the Bible’s story, when God gave His people seven yearly feasts, these have anchored human interactions with God and His people in literal feasts of the senses. These days were set aside for celebration and for worship. For concentrated, intentional time to delight in God, to stoke the fires of our relationship with Him through memorable moments away from the everyday and its constant demands.

God’s original feasts punctuated ordinary life with hours of significance and meaning. And some of our Christian celebrations echo the original Jewish feasts. For example, the Jewish holiday of Passover commemorates when Moses told the captive Jews to paint strokes of lamb’s blood over their door frames so that God would pass over those homes when Egypt was struck with tenth plague—death of their firstborn children. Christians celebrate Easter, when Jesus died so that God would “pass over” our sins. In fact, it was no coincidence that the death and Resurrection of Christ occurred during the week of Passover; He was the sacrificial lamb of God.

I find it odd that one of the most important Christian celebrations of the year is barely mentioned in churches today. We certainly know about Easter and Christmas, but what about Pentecost, which commemorates the day when the Holy Spirit was given to the apostles and Jesus disciples? Jesus rose to heaven 40 days after His Resurrection, and Acts 1:4 records:

And while staying with them he ordered them not to depart from Jerusalem, but to wait for the promise of the Father, which, he said, “you heard from me; for John baptized with water, but you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit not many days from now.”

The apostles waited 10 days for this promise to be fulfilled:

When the day of Pentecost arrived, they were all together in one place. And suddenly there came from heaven a sound like a mighty rushing wind, and it filled the entire house where they were sitting. And divided tongues as of fire appeared to them and rested on each one of them. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit gave them utterance. Acts 2:1-4

Jesus dramatically fulfilled His promise when He sent His Spirit. When we receive Christ as our Lord and Savior, the Spirit comes to live within us and give us the power and guidance we need to walk with Christ. And the Spirit has been coming to indwell believers in Christ ever since. So why don’t we give thanks for the miraculous event of Pentecost? 

In preparation for Pentecost this year on Sunday, June 5, here are some reasons why it is a wonder worth celebrating.

Having the Holy Spirit is better than having the physical person of Jesus!That may sound strange to say, but Jesus said, “Nevertheless, I tell you the truth: it is to your advantage that I go away, for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you. But if I go, I will send him to you” (John 16:7). Jesus was confined to a body when He lived on earth. He could only be in a single place at a time. But the Spirit is in every place around the globe where a believer is found. The Spirit dwells within, guiding each believing person’s own heart. Amazing!The Spirit will be “with us forever” (John 14:16)—and in every circumstance. I am so grateful for this promise that He is always with me, whether on a flight that is disconcertingly bumpy, or when I’m feeling like “I can’t do this anymore,” or when I’m simply completing mundane, thankless tasks for the thousandth time. His ever-presence is a comfort.We can know His constant, gentle whisper. I love that He can continually, intimately remind me of what Jesus taught. Jesus said, “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you” (John 14:26). He loves to remind us of what Jesus said that is exactly what we need to hear.Like taking a trip to a national park where park rangers give you a guidebook, so the Holy Spirit will guide you into His truth (John 16:13) throughout your unique, obstacle-and adventure-laden journey of life if you will ask.Though there are many more reasons why the Holy Spirit came, one of my favorites remains this: “the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words”(Romans 8:26). There have been many times in my life when I have not known what to pray because I was bewildered or afraid or in pain. Yet in those times the Spirit was praying for me. What a Comforter is the Spirit who was given to us, sent to us from the throne room of God!

Will you join us in celebrating this underappreciated gift from the Father? Here are three ideas you can implement with your family:

Create a simple obstacle course in your living room or backyard. Blindfold each child one at a time and instruct them to find their way across the room or yard by listening to your voice calling directions. The blindfolded one has to listen carefully to your voice or he will trip or bump into things. Talk about how this is like listening to the Holy Spirit’s voice.

To further illustrate this for the next person’s turn in the obstacle course have another family members call directions at the same time, which teaches a very practical lesson in learning to follow one voice as opposed to many other “voices” that might influence our lives.

Bedtime reading. Because most children love to delay bedtime by talking, take advantage of this by talking to them about the Holy Spirit. (Or read these in conjunction with your dinner or obstacle course.)

At the last supper, Jesus prepared His disciples for what was to come. In that conversation He made several important promises, including several about the Spirit and what He came to do: John 14:16,17; John 14:26; John 16:7, 13-15. Read these passages to your children and ask them to make a list of what Jesus promised His Spirit will do. If you have older children and teens this can become a very in-depth and beneficial discussion as you find other verses beyond these three, learning together how vital is the Holy Spirit and His gracious work in our lives.

Teach the concept of being filled with God’s Spirit.Read Ephesians 5: 17-19 and talk together about this command from Paul to everyone who is a Christian. What does it mean to be filled with the Spirit? Why does God command this? How does being controlled by God’s Spirit make a difference in your life, or how should it make a difference? (For more information on the Holy Spirit, read “The Wonderful News of the Spirit-filled Life,”by Bill Bright.)

At Ever Thine Home our hope is to not only elevate Easter but to call us as women who desire to make our homes His embassy to mark other anniversaries on the Christian calendar with our families and friends.

We hope that adding even one of these ideas to your Pentecost Sunday will help you appreciate the wonder of God residing within each of us who believe in Him.

May you enjoy Pentecost Sunday as you celebrate the miracle of God’s continual presence with us.

Here are some additional blog posts from Barbara on the Holy Spirit.

“How Does the Holy Spirit Help Me in My Everyday Life?” “How Does the Holy Spirit Speak Personally to Me?”

And be sure to watch for a special ebook on the Holy Spirit coming on June 20!

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Friends & Family May 2022

Has May become like December for you, too?

When our kids were in school I discovered that both months feature packed schedules. Extra events times six (surrounding the end of the school year and then high school graduations) made May on par with December. So this month’s letter will be a small photo album because this May was no exception for Dennis and me.

The first week of May was focused on my final exam for my seminary class on History of Doctrine. And it was really hard. My study partner and I both felt it was much more difficult than the midterm. Oh well, it’s done and I’m grateful for the summer break. (But look for my big “Ah ha!” take-away below.)

We also attended high school graduations for two grandkids—one in Russellville, Arkansas, and one in Colorado.

Graduation with grandson Tyler, who is headed for Texas A & M in the fall

Graduation with granddaughter Savannah

And then came a grandson’s wedding with the showers, rehearsal dinner, and the actual wedding on May 22.

James and Hillyn at their couples shower

James and Hillyn Escue

We were gone most of the month but it was the best kind of travel, full of good things with our kids and their families. Multiple memories were made.

For Ever Thine Home it was a full month too as we had an all-day planning meeting on May 13 to get as much on the calendar for the rest of 2022 as possible. We began planning for two big ideas I’ve wanted to do now for a while and we talked about processes and systems so we can all work smarter not harder. It was a really good day. I’m truly excited about all the synergy we created and the ideas that are on the planning calendar. I think you will like them too.

Since May is so busy, even though it’s almost over I’ll end with this announcement.

I’m excited to let you know we are producing a new ebook on the Holy Spirit! Many of you have asked for more teaching and encouragement on this member of the Trinity who is shamefully overlooked in our churches today for the most part. Watch for this newest ebook later in the month of June. And it will be a prelude to a Bible study, God willing, on the Holy Spirit next summer.

I pray you will download it and read it and then share it with many in your family and your friends. We all need to understand Him and the work He loves to do in and for us, the beloved of God.

May your summer be refreshing but also most importantly refueling as you focus on your relationship with Jesus Christ.

Ever His,

Barbara

P.S. Dennis asked me the week after my class final what was my favorite part or the lesson I learned that stood out. As I thought about it for the next few days I realized there are two:

First, I’m so incredibly grateful that we live in the times after Reformation. The Reformation brought enormous changes to what was at that time the one church worldwide. Luther and his fellow reformers taught that all believers can read the Bible for themselves, and the invention of the printing press made that possible. They preached faith alone, Christ alone, and grace alone. The wicked practices of earning merits for salvation and paying church priests for forgiveness of sins was done away with. The freedom to read the Bible and know the relief of forgiveness that we enjoy today is unlike what most people knew centuries before 1500.

Second, I am amazed at the brilliance of the early Church fathers and theologians. They wrote and taught truths that are still part of our churches today, even though many of these teachings were ignored from 500 to 1000 A.D. Augustine, Athanasius, Tertullian, and many many others gave us volumes of books and letters. Our generation thinks we are so smart with all our technology, but these men were truly brilliant and we are the beneficiaries of their work done without a printing press or Google searches.

Hope you enjoyed!

For Christ alone!

 

Friends & Family May 2022 will be the last personal monthly letter from Barbara to appear on our blog page. Starting in June her monthly correspondence will be available only through email and only to our subscribers. So if you are reading this from a social media link or through our website be sure to subscribe for FREE here and don’t miss out on Friends and Family, weekly blogs, new products and offers or podcasts.

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Are You Afraid to Pray Big Prayers? Nothing Is Impossible for God

Can you imagine what it was like for Mary, an adolescent engaged to Joseph, to be greeted by the angel Gabriel? And then, to be told she would conceive a child who would be the Son of God?

She had to be stunned, in shock. I’m surprised she was even able to ask Gabriel, “How will this be, since I am a virgin?”

Gabriel replied that this would be a miraculous conception. “For nothing will be impossible with God” (Luke 1:37).

My heart has cherished this verse, its hope-filled ballast anchoring my soul through more turbulent times than my memory allows. But what is even more wondrous to me is that God repeated this promise in the Bible eight times.*

As I’ve crafted each of these six blog posts on prayer I’ve looked back to Easter as our anchor point. The Resurrection is the event, the pivot point of all history. It is the moment that changed the trajectory of life forever. It is the ultimate proof that “Nothing is too hard for God” (Jeremiah 32:17).  And because of Easter we can have hope in our lives and in our prayers.

This is the truth expressed in a prayer from a favorite book of mine: The Valley of Vision, a collection of Puritan prayers:

O Great God,

Nothing exceeds Thy power,

Nothing is too great for Thee to do,

Nothing too Good for Thee to give,

Nothing is impossible with Thee,

Nothing spoken by Thee is untrue.

Thou changest not,

Thy compassions they fail not,

As Thou hast been Thou forever will be.

May my heart cling to all that is true of Thee.

 Always.

Amen.

Just as the disciples curled up in despair after the crucifixion and felt all hope was lost, so I have felt a similar despair when my marriage, my children or a circumstance has felt impossible —like a ship stalled eerily in the windless doldrums.

But like the tiny twinkle of a star breaking through the dense cloud bank, the truth of “Nothing is impossible with God” beckons me back to hope in my eternal Father. Buoyed by the strength of this promise, I have chosen over and over not to quit no matter how difficult, no matter how many mistakes I make (and there have been too many), no matter how hopeless my relationships feel.

This promise from Scripture also had a huge impact on my prayers.

If God can raise a dead man from the grave after three days with Jesus (and after four days with Lazarus) then truly nothing is impossible for God. The Resurrection proves this to us and God wants us to remember Easter and count on the power of God in our lives and circumstances.

In my prayers I’ve realized, as a result, that I should pray for God to accomplish the things that seem impossible. Rather than holding back on what seems too hard from my vantage point He invites me to boldly ask!

In a sermon one Sunday morning almost a decade ago, I heard this stanza from an old hymn by John Newton quoted by the pastor. You may recognize Newton as author of the famous hymn “Amazing Grace,” but these words come from another hymn of his titled, “Come, My Soul, Thy Suit Prepare”:

Thou art coming to a King,

Large petitions with thee bring,

for His grace and power

are such none could ever ask too much.

These words also captured my attention … God was calling me to see Him in a fresh way. He was showing me I could bring large petitions to Him because He is King! I did not need to fear it was too much for Him. He delights to hear me ask by faith. Nor did I need to fear He wouldn’t answer. He hears and He does what is best for me. He is always working His will which is always good.

Remember God is our Father and just as our children asked for big things whether we could give them or not, so He wants a relationship with me where we talk together and I ask Him anything. Sometimes those requests are desires He’s put on my heart, so to ignore them out of some fear is not an expression of faith.

I realized that I had moved into safe mode in my prayers, asking God mostly for what wasn’t too difficult for Him to do. How crazy is that that I felt I needed to help God? My fear of failure was controlling my expectations of what God might not do if I asked. 

Challenged in my heart by these words I began to ask God, “What large petitions would You want me to bring before Your throne?” I immediately thought of two requests.

One was that God would provide for my youngest daughter, who wanted to find a husband. I asked knowing His will for her could have been remaining single. That request was granted in 2016.

Another large petition continues to be an oft-repeated prayer for God’s favor in changing the way Christians worldwide celebrate Easter, which I think should be called Resurrection Sunday.  I’m increasingly disappointed that western culture has influenced those of us who claim the name of Christ to make our Easter decorations about rabbits and chicks and candy instead of the cross and the Lamb of God. I’ve been asking God ever since for ideas and creativity, and for Him to move far beyond my efforts in raising awareness of this robbery of our greatest celebration by the culture around us.

My request hasn’t been answered in full as I’ve imagined it, but it is God’s to do as He pleases according to His will and purposes. I continue to come before the throne of the King of Kings, knowing He has bid me come, that He is at work answering these large petitions in ways I cannot see and in ways I can appreciate only in part with my limited sight.

Newton’s words, “For His grace and power are such, none can ever ask too much,” continue to remind me that God can do what seems impossible to me in my limited faith.

What large petitions would you bring before Him? Boldly ask Him, even if you have to wait. But boldly ask and then watch for Him; watch for evidence of Him working, even if it’s not dramatic and miraculous!

And let’s share with one another the wonders of God’s works. He has commanded us to proclaim them for the praise of His glory, not for our own. What someone else thinks is not our problem or concern. It is God we must please, not people.

I pray you will join me in bold prayers that we may all share in the joy of watching God at work! What a privilege!

May God grant us surpassing trust today that “Nothing is too difficult for Thee.”

*The eight repetitions of this truth are found in Genesis 18:14, Jeremiah 32:17, Jeremiah 32:27, Zachariah 8:16, Matthew 19:26, Mark 10:27, Luke 1:37, and Luke 18:27.

To help you talk to God, we encourage you to print the beautifully designed prayer in this blog post. Click here to download. 

This is the fifth post in a six post series on prayer. I have loved reading old prayers since the days of my mothering when I discovered the prayers of saints like Susanna Wesley. Each blog post features an old prayer from someone now in the great cloud of witnesses (Hebrews 12:1). We have much to learn from these saints of old; though some words are not in vogue today they help us see God in ways we don’t in our modern world. I hope you enjoy this series!

If you missed the other posts on prayer, here they are:

“How to Enjoy Constant Access to God in Prayer”

“Praying for Those Who May Be Difficult to Love”

“Rushed Prayers: Treating God Like He’s a Vending Machine”

“Unanswered Prayer: When God Doesn’t “Come Through,” Then What?”

Prayer from above watermark image: Arthur Bennett, ed., The Valley of Vision (Edinburgh: The Banner of Truth Trust, 1975).

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