Yvette Bodden's Blog, page 25

Does the Coronavirus Have You Rethinking Life?

The idea of losing a loved one or dying ourselves is petrifying, particularly when unexpected. Many of us avoid the conversation of mortality, as it confronts you with a harsh reality. No one lives forever, death is inevitable.

Coronavirus (CoV) has reminded the world of their humanity. CoV is an extended group of viruses that has awakened our innate fear of death. These viruses cause mild flu-like symptoms to acute respiratory diseases which have the ability to severely attack and kill patients with pre-existing health conditions. Scary, with reason, the medical community doesn’t know enough to stop the epidemic.

The recent Coronavirus (CoVid-19) pandemic is rapidly changing the way we live. The world is walking on eggshells terrified the infectious disease will get them and essentially end their life. Scientists don’t have a vaccine, this particular strain is new. Aggressive studies continue to help stop the epidemic. In the meantime society must face a harsh fact. It will take time to get answers, it’s unlikely to happen overnight.

China and Italy have been living in terror for months. The American public recently received a wake up call, as the President of the United States called a national emergency. The already precarious situation just got real.

My favorite New York City restaurants have temporarily closed, supermarket shelves can barely keep up with demand, a large part of the workforce is working at home and small businesses are suffering. Are you feeling like things you worried about a couple months ago are not as detrimental today? Do you feel life as you know it has changed? Are you contemplating what life will look like in the near future? Is it all overwhemling making you feel out of control? The majority of people relate to your emotions. I suggest don’t fear, the panic is justified to a degree but you can’t stop living. What is worse than to exist without truly living?

We must take necessary precautions but not go into an all out hysteria. Read the facts about the virus. Staying informed is key to avoid a state of frenzy. . Listen to the suggestions of the CDC to prevent the spread of the virus. Protect yourself and surrounding community by being careful and mindful – follow safety guidelines. Lastly, remember to breathe. You are alive and hopefully healthy. Do everything possible to stay that way.

Meanwhile, keep yourself and families healthy AW women! Everyday life, as we know it has changed but hope cannot be dismissed.

Protected content. 2020 awakened-woman.com

Celebrate GIRLPOWER on March 8

Did you know there’s a day designated to toast women all over the world? March 8th is International Women’s Day. The day marks 24 hours of recognition for women around the world. When you think about what that entails, it’s a pretty big deal. A celebration of cultural, political, economic and social achievements made by women. The annual cheer-a-thon has been going on for over 100 years. In 1911 a million people from various parts of the globe united to sing praise to women’s wins. Celebratory meeting of females with accomplishments reflecting equality for women in society.

International Women’s Day should be important for all women. We need to celebrate each other’s victories, as well as, make every effort to strengthen bonds across the various races, cultures, ages and socioeconomic lines. We have the power for change but it will not come to fruition without support. There has to be a continued call to action demonstrating to girls, young women, students, professionals, mothers – women worldwide they’re not alone.  We’re on a global mission to achieve greatness. Each contributing a gift, skill or story of empowerment. There is no competition between us because it’s one gender – one team.

Females are a force to be reckoned with when banded together. The beauty, intelligence, motivation, and passion of a woman can take her to amazing heights. Sprinkle compassion and sensibility to strengths already possessed, it shapes a wondrous human being. Caretakers, nurturers, matriarchs working hard in and out of the home. Rolling with the punches of daily life while holding up the tribe that depends on them to push forward. Our imperfections serve as cracks to let the light inside allowing humanity to shine through reminding us of our vulnerability.

Men play an important role in society but women, most certainly do as well. It takes two strong parts to build on the foundation of our countries, regardless of where on the globe you stand. However, the recognition of the contributions begins with acknowledging one another. There are battles yet to be won. The exercise requires gender undivided. Working as a single team to break barriers. We don’t need to pit against each other to be victorious. There are plenty of opportunities for everyone. Each one of us brings something unique to the table.

On this day and every day celebrate not only your achievements and how far you’ve come. Pause to consider all the women that were here before you, and the ones still fighting today. They set a stage for us to be where we are right now. Honor them by being the best woman you can be. Celebrate them by showing camaraderie with all women at every level – anywhere in the world.

Happy International Women’s Day!

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Have You Listened to “Conversations with Jen”?

Jennifer Barreto-Leyva is the Editor-in-Chief of Belleza XL magazine and host of Conversaciones con Jen Podcast. The successful lawyer and journalist crushed the stereotypes many of us have become accustomed to seeing when she broke barriers as a Plus Size top model.

Jennifer is based in Caracas, Venezuela, the first Latina Plus Model has been dedicated to her mission since 1997. The fabulous Jennifer has an extensive resume that includes participating in the Miss Universe Plus Size and a shoot with Vogue Curvy. Her name made O. Magazine’s list of The Top Latina Influencers to watch out for in 2019. A rockstar in her own right, compared to Christina Saralegui, as she changes the perception of beauty before our eyes. Ms. Saralegui helped evolve the Latino talk show circuit making it possible for other Latina women to dream. The most widely watched television talk show of the 1990’s made a splash in Latinoamerica and Spanish-speaking communities across the United States. Now, women like Jennifer Barreto-Leyva pave the way for a younger generation of Plus Size Latinas looking to enter the modeling world.

It has been an inspiration to be introduced to Jennifer, it thrills me to have the opportunity to chat with her on the Conversaciones con Jen Podcast. The podcast link will be shared on AW post-March 8, 2020. I hope you listen, as we discuss Awakened-Woman‘s journey to empowerment, and many other topics related to love, relationships, and self-love and care.

Thank you BellezaXL and Jen for opening doors to other women, so they too can share their stories. Congratulations on the newest DHM Magazine interview and the premiere of your podcast!

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Have You Tried Dating Outside Your Pool?

Most of us have a type. Dating is a challenging exercise in itself no matter the age bracket. The pool of good men seems to shrink as we get older. Options are further narrowed when we start to consider the kinds of people we want to date. Do you keep a handy checklist in your back pocket? Physical attributes, financial or social status, educational background, and many other characteristics create the ideal man or woman.

You may have friends checking the “Single” box complaining about their love life. Understandable gripe since options diminishes over time depending on age, social circles, or geographical location. Is this true because we get older or learn to be more selective? Does knowing what you want in a partner limit you?

In a recent taping of The Real daytime talk show, the hosts discuss dating with guest, Tisha Campbell. In the interview, Campbell shares reservations about dating outside her race. She expressed details of the guilt she experiences while pondering the possibility of dating someone that is not African-American. Some readers may relate to similar thoughts or pressure when choosing partners in their own life. If raised to believe that birds of a feather flock together then this will sound familiar. Chances are you won’t venture outside the comfort zone because it’s all you know, maybe it feels wrong or forbidden.

My first real dating experience was with a Greek man. As the oldest of three girls in a Dominican family of four, I was the one who broke ground. Decades ago, interracial dating was not as prevalent as it is today. The likelihood of stepping out of your comfortable range was unlikely due to an old-world mindset. Unwarranted comments like “you should stick to your own kind” were not unheard of.

The naysayers did not discourage me from dating outside my race or nationality. Instead, it provided an opportunity to learn and appreciate various cultures. It has also shown me that love’s periscope is less critical. It’s important when contemplating a love interest to evaluate the essence of the person. The core values and feelings the person brings to your relationship is what will matter most.

If you are struggling with the topic, shifting your perspective is valuable. Allow me to offer some color on the subject that may provide new insight, encouraging another way of thinking.

Stay open to the possibilities, dipping your feet into a different dating pool can raise the following positives:

1. Increased respect for other cultures. Sometimes, we unknowingly make judgments that lead to misconceptions about others. Dating outside your pool can help improve awareness and sensitivity for those outside your culture. You may acquire a newfound appreciation for different foods, traditions, and people that you may not have had prior to the experience. Learning about other people makes you more worldly, creates empathy and lends a hand to see other points of view.

2. Opens new options. Getting too specific narrows down choices for you. I suggest leaving options open enough to give room to try new things. Think about the most important qualities you seek in a partner. Prioritize needs vs wants while asking yourself what is most essential for you to get the best possible results for success in a relationship? The broadening of horizons can offer delightful surprises in more ways than one.

3. Love is Love. People are people, regardless of the color of their skin, nationality or background. Falling in love with the person creates a much stronger foundation to build on a relationship. Stripping a potential love interest down to their physical appearance is limiting. You deserve better and can have, if open to receive it.

Everyone has a preference that appeals to the eyes or senses. In no way, am I saying to ignore that which makes your heart chirp. However, keep an open mind to the endless choices across the spectrum. Restricting yourself to a single type may cause you to lose out on a great opportunity gifting you the greatest love affair imagined.

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Fierce Women Rising

Do you consider yourself fierce, a badass and confident woman who owns her life? It wasn’t long ago when the thought of that woman was elusive to me. The idea that not only could I be myself but find self-acceptance was difficult to imagine. Spending much of my life settling for less than I deserved, only fueled the insecurities. Often times the behavior led to decisions that were not in my best interest, serving others most. The internal battle I had been fighting for decades hindered me from getting to a place of self-worth.

Pain has the ability to cripple the most beautiful and joyful souls but can also ignite a fire. Divorce was a life-changing event that forced a period of reflection in my life. Learning to embrace the woman was a process that continues today. We all have moments of doubt, we vi cannot allow these to get in the way of our goals and dreams. Unexpected events in life, although distressing can serve as a great teacher, if you choose to focus on the lesson.

Being strong and feeling empowered isn’t about never making mistakes or always maintaining composure. It is about rising from the ashes wiser and more powerful when the chips fall. I would not be the woman I am today, were it not for the adversity endured, same for you.

This week readers can read the AW story in a way never shared before. ROAR Magazine has published a very special and intimate piece I wrote exclusively for the magazine.  The empowering and beautiful images fit piece beautifully, and my appreciation to Melissa Kelly and her team is eternal.

I look forward to your comments soon. Pieces of the poat will be see on AW, as well as, its social media platforms. Visit ROAR for the full story.

Original photograph owned and published by ROAR.

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The Passionistas Project

The birth of AW has provided a platform to share stories about women including myself and other awakened women. My hope is that readers will feel hope they too, can do anything. This opportunity has provided a gateway to meet amazing females who have encouraged me to continue the pursuit of knowledge and empowerment.

The Passionistas Project is the latest on a list of inspirations. Sisters, Amy and Nancy Harrington started this project inspired by the #MeToo movement and #TimesUp campaign. The decision to use their experience as interviewers has helped tell many stories. The skilled ladies switched their celebrity correspondent hats to work on a different mission. Sharing true stories about real women became the bigger goal. Sitting down with women wanting to show the world their truth.

Podcasters often use airtime to spotlight local and international popular personalities. Amy and Nancy created a platform for phenomenal women, unknown to the world. Using their voice to speak out has helped others in their journeys. They shine the light on positive stories that make a difference around the world.

The Passionistas Project Podcast has extended an invitation to AW to guest blog on their site. The article will be published to their on March 5, 2020. If you have not visited Passionistas, stop by and check them out.

Thank you Amy and Nancy for continuing to empower women everywhere.

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Should You Freeze Your Eggs?

The idea of being a mother in my 20’s was unfathomable. I always had a desire to build a stable life before considering starting a family. My mother’s generation was less focused on careers due to social pressures in the 1970s. Women were expected to marry and have a family almost immediately after the wedding. The choice to wait was not a luxury females had during that time, like they do today. Modern science has made a world of difference in many women’s lives.

The freezing of eggs for humans is relatively new. Also, known as oocyte cryopreservation,  a treatment used by fertility specialists to help women have babies is increasing in popularity. Eggs are generated from the woman’s ovaries, frozen and stored to use at a future date when the woman is ready to be impregnated. History shows the first experiments of the technology were done on rodents around the 1960’s. Between 1986-1992 the first egg donor pregnancies were reported, one of which was to a 53-year old woman in menopause. Over the course of the past two decades, science had skyrocketing results. Research increasingly improved the technology by delivering its first baby in 2005, after thawing out a frozen egg that was kept 4 years in cryostorage. Although thousands of babies have been born using frozen eggs, it remains relatively uncommon compared to the conventional method which is not an option to everyone.

The cost of freezing eggs is extremely high. Getting the suggested 10-30 eggs for freezing will amount to tens of thousands of dollars. In addition to price, it is essential to find a reputable fertility clinic. All this without a guarantee that a pregnancy will take, unfortunately, the treatment does not always work. Despite the possible setbacks, freezing eggs can give young women peace of mind. The key is not waiting too long to do the freezing. Our eggs are much more viable when we are in our 20’s and 30’s which is a challenging time. How many women this age do you know have $5,000 to 10,000 lying around to pay for the procedure? I would bet that many are still paying college debt and interest to tie them up for a decade. However, if this is something that is important for you then planning in advance makes this a viable course of action.

Freezing eggs was not a possibility for me. The science to get pregnant using the method did not exist as a recourse during my college years. However, if my daughter would like to consider this alternative I would throw my support to her corner. The beauty of modern science is that it offers choices, so women can delay taking on additional roles they may not be prepared for early in adulthood.

Career mobility, finding your soulmate or unwillingness to change a lifestyle, women have different reasons for putting off motherhood. Being a wife and mother is an immense responsibility, not only consuming you physically but emotionally, too. Delaying this part of life for a few years is a personal decision , and only yours to make.

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Dating 101: Lessons Women Should Learn

Dating is work, often times unrewarding labor that leads to nothingness. Have you been told you have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding your prince? Although, not always true, there is validity to the statement. The majority of us do not find good love on the first or even second try. A strong, lasting relationship has the best chance for success when it’s with the best match.

The dating game feels like a tiresome sport at times, especially, when the same mistakes are made repeatedly. Present company included, I’m guilty of some of the same offenses as many other women. Allowing the fear of loneliness to keep me in a relationship that did not serve my needs. Believing a man’s potential would be enough to dismiss the reality of his shortcomings. Creating a lie to hide the fact, I was being courted by a complete loser. Endless excuses to rationalize the behavior of bad men became a part-time job. Have you found yourself doing some of the same in your love life?

If you are confronting challenges in this deparment, maybe some of my lessons in dating can help. For one, anknowledging truth, seeing things for what they are, is instrumental. We must date smarter which means using a combination of emotion and intelligence. It cannot only be you tossing your heart around to any possible suitor – he should earn your attention.

Hopefully, these tips will be useful during your dating expedition.

1. You Don’t Need a Man but it’s nice to have one. Knowing yourself and having the ability to stand on your own provides incredible confidence. It takes off some of the pressure when there isn’t an ultimate end goal. Dating to snatch a husband is probably not the greatest approach, it sometimes leads to desperation. The scent repels men and cheats you of what you deserve by clouding judgment. Remember, this is not a life or death situation, it is a collection of trial runs until you get to the real thing.  You get a chance explore what works and doesn’t for you.

2. Women Have All the Power. If you give it all away, a man is unlikely to make an effort. Serving yourself on a platter will not encourage him to step up and out of his comfort zone. He should meet you halfway to a common ground. Relationship goals must align without making compromises that sacrifice either of your happiness. Human beings are creatures of habit, anyone can get used to a good thing. Make sure you can both get what you need. You will know early on in the dating stages how much he is willing to give, if you hold back some. For all the givers out there, I can relate to how amazing it feels to give but don’t relinquish everything, save a few parts for yourself. You are your first priority!

3. You Do Not Need to Divulge Your Book of Secrets. Some mystery is okay in dating. The first date is not meant to blurt out an account of a life’s story. Releasing a little at a time is completely acceptable. Taking the time to just talk is okay. Try not to play a game of inquisition back and forth to get to know the guy.  You get to know one another by having normal dialogue. Conversations can lead to a nice exchange of information, stories and interesting tidbits that may guide you closer or further away from a possible love interest. Be patient, most importantly stay present to find out if this person is worthy of more of your time.

Dating is not easy, by any means but can be an enjoyable experience if you take it for what it is – a chance to meet new people. Going into it for the sake of a happily ever after is not the goal of the exercise. My advice is to use this time to find out your likes and dislikes, get to know yourself as a woman, as much as you can. Fall in love with yourself first because when you do, you will not accept less than you deserve. Your choices are focused on things that are better for you all around.

Now go out and live your best life! The rest will come when time and guy (or girl) is right.

Let me know if you find any of the tips helpful. Comment below, Contact or DM me.

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Awakened-Woman on The Art is Alive

Many of us have goals and dreams that we think will never come to fruition. Sometimes the hard work, dedication and perseverance are not enough to push what we envision into reality. Have you ever felt this way? Most of you reading will relate to the feeling.

Plenty of times, I’ve been asked how often do I write. I write every single day – on my laptop, phone, journal or any blank space I can find. Jotting down quotes, blog ideas or stories that can captivate readers attention. Looking to help others evolve into their best self.

Like anyone else, exhaustion kicks in from life’s stressors. The AW content is free for all. I would not have it any other way. It was designed to help you in your journey of womanhood. Whether my articles inspire, encourage or empower you, AW exists because of its readership. There have been close to 100K visitors this yesr. Most of you reads an average of 2 blogs each time you visit!

Earler tbis week The Art is Alive Magazine published an interview on AW. It is a beautiful article that expresses my purpose, brings light to who is Awakened-Woman.

The work of writers, authors is not always recognized. We don’t do it for the money but for love. The passion to make others think or feel something. Having someone else write about AW is always amazing. Each writer has a different angle and sees something different. Every chance I’ have received to show the world Awakened-Woman has been a gift that I”m grateful for…

I write to exhaustion but I love doing it. It isn’t easy to get readers to engage or share how they feel. However, I will continue to open my book to encourage you through the tough times. My wish is that one day you will trust me enough to share. In the meantime, let AW inspire you to live the life you envision because everythingv is possible.

Tnank you so much for reading AW.

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Warning: If You Are Considering Dating a Taken Man…

The rules of engagement for this dangerous game are specific. Boundaries strategically set for an affair, a martyr placed in a position of weakness putting her (or him) at a disadvantage. The inner workings of this type of relationship are filled with pain, secrecy, deceit, and disenchantment. There is one winner, and women are often found on the losing end of this kind of pact.

Females of different backgrounds, ethnicity, levels of education and financial status fall for the tryst then find themselves with a common wish ”If only, he weren’t married, everything would be wonderful.” Smart, beautiful, successful women with nothing to envy anyone. Giving into relationships that mostly, offer nothing more than doomed situations.

It is a tale of two women in love. The first, at home taking care of his family and children. Her main role is to preserve the sanctity of his haven in a perfectly crafted life. Outside admiration from unknown folks buying into the picture of a united front. Expectations set at a high bar which can’t always be met. A love story that may have started with good intentions until partners encounter unhappiness and dissatisfaction.  Curiosity or frustration open a gateway to a compromising of ethics, morals, and personal integrity.

The second participant doesn’t always set out to risk her self-respect and worth to engage in this type of dangerous play. She may fall victim to a guilty pleasure. Although shameful, living as his “dirty little secret” somehow it becomes a strange norm. The forbidden fruit is bitten, creating excitement difficult to contain once ignited. Leisure travel companion, romantic dinners to make up for lost time. Stolen moments for a sliver of time together. Whether it sounds daringly enticing or vile, fact is someone will get hurt, particularly when parties have no regard for the innocent sitting at home.

Neither woman can claim to be victorious in this situation. There is no winning in betrayal. The emotional and mental deterioration that occurs as a result of the precarious romance is devastating for both women in some way, at times unknowingly.

AW is a no-judgment zone. A place to find unbiased stories that assist  different women in their personal journeys. The reality of an affair is that eventually the fraud will be exposed. If you are toying with the idea of dating a taken-man, consider a few things.

There are questions to seriously ask yourself if contemplating the arrangement. Analyze the various compromises the romantic ties will require. Regardless, if it’s an emotional or physical, these flings are painful and degrading.

Do you genuinely believe he is going to leave his home to be with you? Though there may be exceptions to the rule, married men don’t leave their wives. They have usually made their mind up to check-out of the relationship but walking out the door is a whole different ballgame. You helped open a pathway to a decision likely made prior to your arrival but putting a plan into action takes courage.
Do you want to assume the responsibility of taking care of the needs of someone who just left his significant other? People enjoy being pampered. Men rarely turn down an opportunity to be catered to. Your time and attention is a prize for him but how about you? What are you giving up in exchange for giving him your all?
There are two sides to every story, how can you be sure he is not without fault for the downturn of his marriage? You can’t be. He may say “his wife does not take care of him, mistreats or doesn’t understand him.” These reasons can create instability in any relationship. Neglect, lack of love, no intimacy, communication issues or tumultuous and antagonistic fights bring discord to any home. Take your pick, justification will be found by those that want out or need to rationalize their behavior.  But if he is so unhappy, why hasn’t he made the departure, yet? Pay close attention to what you are told, and even more attention to what he does. Do not blindly take his word as Bible.
What will you do if you are found out? Are you prepared to face the damage and anguish this news will cause a family? Is an affair worth your reputation? A mental breakdown can be triggered when an indiscretion is discovered. The repercussions from such findings are enough to throw anyone into a tailspin. Everyone loses in the mess of infidelity, so why engage?

We are human, and as a result of our mistakes, occasionally we choose to punish or deny ourselves of a good thing due to guilt and shame. If you think in some way you are not deserving of happiness, you may fabricate havoc to ensure you don’t get true joy. I am here to tell you that you’re wrong. Putting yourself in circumstances to cause injury to yourself or others in any way is unacceptable. Learning to love yourself past life’s wrongs, failures and wounds is key. Forgive yourself. Believe you deserve more.

5. What does self-worth mean to you? Do you love yourself enough to choose the very best for yourself or do you prefer to settle? Life is short, gifting yourself the best life possible is the way to a happier and more fulfilling existence. Rise up to be the woman you were born to be. Take the road less traveled by asking for more of yourself and others.

Relationships, life, and people are a complicated mess. There isn’t a perfect plan we can follow to get to the right place in our lives. Much of what we experience comes with incredible challenges but the good news is that we have a choice. When you put yourself first, commit to being the best you, answers come a bit easier. It leads you to make decisions that not only improve your life but put you on a path for a greater tomorrow.

If you are dating a man that is not yours. Remember that someone is waiting for him tonight. 

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