Yvette Bodden's Blog, page 33

Happy Birthday AW!

AW was born one year ago today. An open invitation published, asking you to read about a woman’s journey. Since then thousands of readers worldwide have given AW Follows, Likes and Comments that serve as inspiration.

As a Latina woman from New York, I’m humbled. Sharing your stories via DM and email is a gift. Thank you for trusting me. We have been able to strengthen one another by opening up about our struggles as women.

“Girls Corner” was the first official article on AW. It was written to empower women everywhere and connect with Awakened-Woman. I hope you’ve been inspired to seek your best self. Encouraged to ask for what you deserve, accepting nothing less than the best. You are worth it.

Great strides have been accomplished during the course of this past year. AW has had guest spots on the podcast I’ve Got Your Number and Unchain your inner strength available on iTunes, Spotify, and Podbean. It was featured on Women on Topp, a widely popular digital magazine. Contributor of close to a dozen articles on Thrive Global. The exposure has been uplifting as a new writer.

The most recent achievement which I’m excited for you to read is the AW book. Black Rose Writing has set ”A Journey to Finding the Best Self” for release on July 4, 2019.

This year has been a learning experience that does not stop. The tremendous personal growth continues to empower me as a woman. AW is grateful to be part of your ongoing journey, as well.

Hope you keep coming back to AW for enrichment and inspiration. We are strong women with much in common no matter the background. My wish is that AW is a place we can all come to help make each other better.

Thank you for reading my articles! May the next year be even more amazing for all.

Toast to you!

“Protected content. 2019 awakened-woman.com”

Uncovering an Emotional or Physical Affair

The boundaries for cheating have been extended for modern society. Decades ago, being unfaithful was restricted to a physical act, whereas today there are close to a dozen ways to blur the lines of infidelity. Technology has significantly changed perspective of what it means to cheat. This widened definition of what constitutes cheating has added a layer of complexity to already challenged relationships.

Ever wonder, what hurts more, discovering an emotional or physical affair? The answer depends on who you ask.

I have felt the daggers of infidelity. The pain inflicted is so deep it can take the air out of your lungs. Finding out the one person who makes you incredibly vulnerable has betrayed you is life-changing. Broken trust, brands you. It leaves you jaded for others that come after. It’s a long way back from the hurt.

Everyone has an opinion, as to which affair is most severe. It is difficult to effectively determine if one is more damaging than another. Both violate confidence in a relationship. Some people believe the sins of the flesh are significantly more scarring. The notion your committed partner can share such an intimate act with someone else is unfathomable. Others think that sharing the most private secrets in a clandestine way with anyone outside a partner is earth-shattering. Not a simple answer to this question, now is it? It can be conflicting because of the rules being broken.

Maybe, the difference really comes down to which is more forgivable or are you able to live with, since they can be equally devastating. Many men I’ve spoken with say physical cheating is more difficult to get passed. While a few others claim that a sentimental connection is almost as destructive, as engaging in physical play. The combination of playful banter, a sharing of vulnerabilities creates a web of intimacy leading to dangerous ground. After all, we’re human.

The level of agony brought on by an emotional or physical affair depends on the person, their experiences and manner in which they perceive intimacy. Cheating is much about the betrayal of trust. Whatever end you are on, an affair changes you. If on the receiving end of one, it messes with your head. You find yourself digging deep into the most negative parts of your mind to ask “Why did this happen to me? Am I not good enough? Did I do something wrong?” You might believe somehow it’s your fault. These are insecurities whispering in our ear. Understand the event that has taken place is not a reflection of you.

The decision that follows after either affair should be well thought out and accepted. Whatever you do with the relationship after uncovering the entanglement – be prepared to live with it. Carrying a betrayal on your shoulders will only bring misery.

Our journey is ongoing but hopefully, in time you learn that each stroke is necessary for the work of art being created. You are worthy of a masterpiece. Don’t settle for less than you deserve.

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Photograph by The ABView Photography.

AW is Now On Sale!

Born in New York and raised by Dominican parents, we’re known as persistent, determined, and driven. Many of us look forward to tbe day we acquire a certain level of achievement. Pondering the what-if, should have, could have instead of telling ourselves that we can or will do what it takes to accomplish the things we set out to do. A handful of people are either born to do the work. Blindly driven by passion for what they want in life. It’s possible much of my adult life, I have been a bit of both with an exaggerated fear of failure.

Approximately, one year ago I set out to write a book and get it published. The initial hesitation might have been enough to veer course away from this dream. However, instead, I took the project by the helm to steer it directly into the eye of the challenge. Once, I began the task there would be nothing to stop me from seeing my labor of love to its end.

I just received word that A Journey to Becoming the Best Self is ready for Preorder!  AW’s encouraging message is now on SALE! My world has been turned upside down with the fulfillment of this dream. My motivation to help empower women around the globe using my stories as inspiration is immense. I believe strong women empower other women. We can begin by sharing experiences of love, life, and womanhood.

Hopefully, reading A Journey to Becoming the Best Self will encourage you to dare yourself. Take a chance on a dream of your own.

“Do not feed the doubts, insecurities, and fears. Create a vision, believe it’s yours then go after it with relentless passion until you arrive where you are meant to be!”  – AW

You may ONLY order early at Black Rose Writing. Use Promo Code: PREORDER2019 to get a 15% discount. Preordered copies will process and ship on or prior to the publication date, July 4. The book will then become available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. Links to be provided after release date.

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It Can Happen to Any Woman

You have now seen the cover of “A Journey to Becoming the Best Self” But what is the book about? Who should read it? Why should you buy it?

Millions of books are written each year, only some hundred thousand make it to the shelves. Tons of stories remain in our heads. Words never making their way from your thoughts onto a screen.

I am the average woman with a normal job, raising a child and managing the daily tesponsibiliries of life’s hustle. Same as you, my heart has been broken, a healthy and loving relationship are goals, as is living my best-lfe. Lessons of love, life, relationships and womanhood are ongoing. Much to bear at times but I continue to strive for change.

I started AW to empower other women. The story was written as an awakening. You should read “A Journey to Becoming the Best Self“ if you are looking to be inspired. The book takes you on a journey of denial, anger, depression, and acceptance. It transports the reader on a woman’s ride. The destination is a realization of self-love found on the other side of pain.

I’d suggest you buy this book if you are beginning, on way or have already started your personal journey. The book offers enouragement to keep pushing forward as you create the life you envision.

“A Journey to Becoming the Best Self” is one story – of an everyday girl from New York City who dared herself to be great. Everyone has a champion within. Remember, true freedom comes once we own our stories. This is mine, like you, a woman who seeks to do better no matter the odds.

Over the next coming weeks, look for an announcement on Presales.

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Can You Have the Best of Both Worlds in this Relationship?

During the initial stages of love, we want to spend every moment with the object of our affection. The intoxication of love overwhelms the senses. Calls, texts, and numerous dates leave us looking forward to that next time. The banter and fireworks can last months or years.

Once the first stages pass, the couple’s comfort level rises, often providing a moderate level of security. As a relationship evolves, the need to have constant closeness slightly diminishes. If you enter a commitment of marriage or cohabitation it further removes the urgency of seeing each other all the time. You trust that your partner will return home at the end of each day. Expectations of living under a single roof are common as you build a family and life together. This is the evolution of the relationship we have come to know, as traditional. But what happens when couples decide to live in separate residences? Do you wonder what is the reasoning? Why make such an unconventional move?

In recent years, I’ve met more than a handful of married and unmarried couples that have made a conscious decision to remain committed by living apart together (LAT). The agreement is increasingly popular as women focus more on their careers and themselves. Two people can love and be dedicated to each other without residing in the same home 100% of the time. The choice can derive from a desire to live different lifestyles or simply an inability to share space. The older we get, the more set in our ways we’re likely to become. Nowadays, living apart suits plenty of folks. It is not uncommon to see them stay in separate homes part-time and be perfectly happy together. In recent years, the younger generation seems to be catching on to the modern alternative.

The success of this type of agreement comes down to trust, communication, and a commitment to each other. Personal experience has helped me understand the reasons as to why people might not completely rule it out. The traditional setting forces couples to assimilate or conform to a single space. Whether you like it or not, your partner is a package deal. You cannot change the essence of a person. Therefore, you are usually left to compromise more than your share.

Cohabitating means making adjustments which at times can be frustrating to either or both parties. Your adoration is not enough to eliminate personality quirks and annoying habits that bring conflict into a living situation. These scenarios may create resentment which turns into bickering over time. What does love have to do with it? Nothing! There are wonderful people that just need to have their own space. When you shack up, you are constantly in one another’s face. You get accustomed to having that person around. It’s natural to take him for granted. We are human, easily slipping into the daily monotony. We can innocently disregard how precious it is, the blessing of having this one special person there with you through and through, playing witness to your journey. We all get comfortable in old shoes, no?

I have been part of a traditional, as well as, LAT relationship. Each one has its benefits and setbacks. Is one better than the other? No. They are just different and only you should decide what works for you. I’ve had the most success with my LAT relationship by accepting the challenges unique to this type of arrangement.

The relationship encounters some of the same issues as any other, except we have to work harder at communicating. When you don’t see your partner every day, it can seem as if the distance drives a wedge. On the flip side, there are lots of things to talk about when you finally reunite. Kind gestures are included often to demonstrate time away has made the heart grow fonder. Greater interest in hearing about each other’s days is evident. It keeps things interesting, engaging both because you feel you missed so much already. These positive aspects can make LAT appealing for couples. However, issues also arise to make things especially difficult for you and beau.

There are definitely downsides to this arrangement. Some people require emotional reinforcement, tough to provide if a couple is living apart. Timing is not always conducive to getting all needs fulfilled at the moment required.  The other point to take into consideration? The stigma attached to this type of coupling can be mentally challenging at times. A certain level of judgment comes with living life outside the boundaries set by society. The mainstream way is perceived as the ”right” way of doing things. But I’m learning that everyone has a different normal. If you do what makes you happy and best for you, it’s good enough. No one can live your life.

If the best of both worlds means getting what you need from your partner without compromising your desires or giving up your identity then living apart together (LAT) can possibly offer a 2-for-1 deal. However, often times you may question everything you’ve learned up to this point. That is okay. We are conditioned to preserve a heritage. Breaking tradition puts pressure on you to make others comfortable but it is not your job to make others understand. Envision the life you want then set the rules that apply to you. It’s hard to do one thing when everyone else is doing something else. It won’t be easy but you’ve got this! Just make sure it’s what you want – then go for it!

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Photograph by The ABView Photography.

Is It Better to Ask Forgiveness or Permission?

Grace Hopper was born in 1906, way ahead of her time. She was not only one of the first women to make junior admiral rank in the US Navy but also worked on the military’s first computer prototype after obtaining a Ph.D. from Yale. Her driven and confident attitude got her to push through obstacles in an all-male field during an era this type of progress was unheard of. She rose up the military ranks while most females stayed home to care for their families. A relentless belief in herself did not leave much room to entertain naysayers. She proved to be a powerful force in a man’s world setting herself on a path to success.

Ms. Hopper’s quote “It’s easier to ask forgiveness than it is to get permission” was brought to my attention in recent conversation. I believe her words provide insight into her conviction to make a difference.

Women have long been conditioned to a world of restrictions. We are expected to be mindful of the way we carry ourselves. The manner in which you speak, dress, act and behave is closely observed looking for faults to form judgments. The rules apply in all aspects of life including business. If we are too much of a go-getter we’re perceived as aggressive but if the behavior is tame it can lead to situations that invite others to run us over. One of the countless dilemmas faced? How to create greatness in an environment of resistance?

The answer is complex and varies among women in positions of authority.  As a woman, barreling through the opposition in business will not go over well. Allies are necessary to help plan the most efficient strategies.  Working together produces better results but you need a certain level of unity. Having everyone’s goals aligned improves chances for success. However, what do you do when the challenges endanger the end-goal? Do you push back hard with disregard showing force or stand down?

I believe it is a combination of both. The best resolution is finding balance. Seek the Yin and Yang to manage a difficult situation. Gently push boundaries towards the greater good, carefully assessing each step as you go. This blueprint can be complicated because as you iron out kinks you also test limits. It may mean an attempt at unconventional solutions that don’t necessarily meet consensus. It can have you apologizing for overstepping the boundaries, mentioned earlier. When you step out of the mainstream way of doing things there are risks.

For centuries, women have maintained their place in society. Ruffling other people’s feathers is a consequence of choosing what is best over what is popular. Sometimes, you are left with no other choice but to put that tail between your legs to say “I’m sorry.” The apologies can happen in our business or personal lives. It remains more satisfying than asking for permission to do what you believe is right or in the best interest of the cause.

Pioneers never have it easy. Blazing a trail takes confidence, courage, and conviction with a touch of modesty. So, when deciding on permission or forgiveness? Measure yourself. Think before you act and most importantly, put yourself in other people’s shoes prior to taking a step that could have irreparable damage. Repetitive disregard for the rules is a blatant act of rebellion that will not deliver success. Make sure you find a suitable blend of subtlety along with assertiveness. This mixture can prove helpful, likely, providing an improved outcome.

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AW: Inside Story

Thank you #womenontopp for the wonderful piece on AW.

Inside Story of a Freelance Writer gives hope to all women. I hope you enjoy the article. Please Follow, Like or Comment on AW to let me know you are inspired!

I believe we empower ourselves when we use our platforms to help other women rise. We should continue to share success stories to encourage women to go for their dreams, strive for goals and believe it is all possible if you do the work. Challenges will always barge their way into our plans but we have to push against adversity.

Set goals, focus your mind and pursue with relentless passion until finding purpose. The moment you come face to face with that “thing” that makes you jump out of bed each morning – life really begins for you. Never give up.

Check out the AW feature on Women on Topp!

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The Secret My Mother Never Told Me…

The relationships we have with our mothers have a significant impact on us growing up. We look to the matriarch of the family, not only to teach us how to be a woman. She shows us the first examples of how to manage relationships with our partners, children and ourselves.

All relationships take work because things don’t magically come together with others. Communicating eachother’s desires and exchanging ideas become challenging when there are opposing sides. This is the case with anyone, especially mom. There is an incredible amount of love flushed into a child-mother relationship. The love is intense, when it isn’t flowing right it hurts more.

My relationship with my mom isn’t perfect but show me one that is without flaw. We’ve all encountered differences of opinion leading to plenty of misunderstandings. There are peaks and valleys in love’s mountainous terrain but I continue to climb uphill with her help to reach new heights. She has given me more than I can express aside from life. My mom has instilled values in me that make me a better human being. My resilience and belief in what I can do comes from a deep sense of her love. Although, I have made mistakes that led to self-doubt and insecurity. Her love has never faltered, neither has her conviction that I am meant for greatness.

Despite her efforts to teach me everything she knew about being a woman. Something was amiss in the lessons of womanhood and parenting. My mom’s selfless love for her children while raising a family created a beautiful bubble but did not leave room to branch out on her own personal journey. The secret she did not share had to do with her biggest sacrifice for us. The loss of her identity as a woman was the price she paid to be a mother and wife. I could never have understood the relinquish of power until today.

I have been a wife and am a proud mom of a beautiful girl. There are unspoken sacrifices women are expected to make in the name of love but times have changed. We don’t have to give up our identity to be a great caretaker. Our job is to nurture and care for our loved ones but also teach them to be self-sufficient and independent people. Giving up self-care does not make us better mothers or wives. I believe it’s to the contrary, finding our happy will create a healthier, more balanced you. It is constant work to maintain a happy medium. Our nature is to give it all to our babies.

Mother’s day is a time many families use to celebrate the moms in their lives. I suggest you take a moment to do something to remind yourself of the importance of loving yourself, too! Happy Mother’s day, Ladies.

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Coming Soon to Shelves Near You…

Many of us have a dream. A thought, so grand that we don’t dare envision because it can seem completely out of reach. You probably do not foresee your idea materializing. It is too hard or complicated to be attainable, feels impossible.

What stops us from pursuing these dreams? Resources, time and energy necessary is not enough to make it all happen. The pieces to deliver the desired outcome have not arrived at our door. While waiting for this perfect storm to manifest itself, remember that anything worthwhile calls for real work. You can’t wish your dreams into existence, need to go after what you want.

Allowing insecurities to creep into one’s mindset can beat anyone out of a good fortune. If you do, you’ll convince yourself to quit trying, even before getting to the starting line. Stop to consider what is possible when you let go of all fear. What are you capable of – if you took a leap of faith and bet the house on yourself?

One year ago, I decided to blaze a trail to inspire, encourage and empower women around the world. I did not have a clue where to begin but that wasn’t going to stop me. Like you, I’ve experienced heartbreak, self-doubt, loss of identity, painful breakups, mommy guilt, dating disasters – shall I go on? But I’m still here and continue on the journey to becoming my best self. I made the decision to share my stories on AW to motivate others. We all encounter guilt, shame, or fear that can hinder us from finding genuine happiness. If I can help a woman not feel alone instead encourage her to connect, I will have served a purpose. Hopefully, readers will gather something positive from my articles. A piece of wisdom to carry with them on their own journey.

I’m very excited to share the cover of my upcoming book “A Journey to Becoming the Best Self“. This project has taken time to come to fruition. I have shed tears of laughter and pain while working on this labor of love but the hard work that has gone into writing it is well worth it.

This book is for any woman experiencing a sense of loss after heartbreak. It is for those looking for a starting point after losing their identity in a relationship. My favorite aspect of the book? It’s written for m women that have been heartbroken, mothers at morning dropoff at school, wives in the produce aisle or the dreamer sitting across from you during the daily commute. Women like you and me. The everyday female that gets up each day to get to her 9-5 job. Living paycheck to paycheck with just enough to care for herself and family without missing a beat. It is the working mom who exhausted from the workday picks up her child at daycare to begin a second shift at home. There’s a lot our parents don’t teach us about relationships, motherhood, money, and the sacrifices we possibly have to make as a woman. It is important we empower young girls with the best information and resources to demonstrate they have choices and a voice as they become women.

My wish is that “A Journey to Becoming the Best Self” connects with the women feeling tired, lost, or looking for hope that things will get better. Life is what we make it. The first step is deciding to stop being a victim. Take charge of the wheel, envision the best future and pursue it with relentless force. Cultivate the greatness that already exists within, no one can do it for you. Grab the bull by the horns, as they say, while on your own journey to the best self. Most of all, never, ever give up on yourself or your dreams!

Announcement of Presales will come soon! Projected release July 4, 2019.

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Black Rose Writing Publishing. 2019

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