Yvette Bodden's Blog, page 30
July 31, 2019
How to Free Yourself from the Shadows?
Once upon a time, there was comfort in playing the understudy. Giving anyone else the spotlight whether, friend, foe or love interest was the logical choice. In my mind, someone else was always more deserving of the attention. There was significant discomfort in letting people see me.
Acquiring the right relationships in your life can be a daunting task when you don’t know who you are or where you stand. Shuffling through dozens of people while you find the best ones for your circle demands effort. There are personalities that will inhale your air, leaving you breathless. They drain the energy around you, at times fooling you into taking a backseat. You end up living behind a curtain where no one can learn about your gifts. Long ago, I too played the role of Cyrano de Bergerac. Letting others steal the show was easier than allowing me to be visible. The risk of my fear being discovered (that I might not be good enough) was frightful.
Existing in anyone’s shadow is living in fear. You are not fully living if you’re not being yourself. It takes courage to show the world outside a genuine sense of who you are. Anyone can have an opinion but no one has the authority to tell you how to carry out your truth.
Shadows overpower you when you are not strong enough to step into the light. Consider what is possible. Imagine what can happen if you take a dare. Envision yourself walking into those shoes. Stand firm with conviction. Show up for your life, be bold but stay humble. Build the confidence that merits acknowledgment, particularly from you!
It isn’t necessary to hide behind a relationship, job or anything else to obstruct others’ view of you. Some people focus their energy on finding someone to like and spend their free time. Although, there is nothing wrong with the desire for company. It is crucial to invest in yourself. The realization of the significance of this exercise came to me after a breakup of a long-term relationship. Single and in emotional disarray, I was forced to learn how to hang out alone. It’s how the idea of dating myself was born – after the dating pool dried up. I took myself out on dates to get familiar with the woman. It was the best thing that happened during this period. It helped me understand quirks, fears, and insecurities but more importantly, it ultimately got me to embrace and appreciate all there was to me.
Freeing yourself from the shadows is scary. Everyone has skeletons they would prefer remain in a closet but always usually has a way of manifesting itself. It takes incredible effort to allow oneself to be seen, but even more to remain obscure. Make yourself comfortable at home first before you let others visit. If you love yourself most, the external world will have no alternative other than to accept you.
It comes down to self-love. Create a love so immense that it cannot be overshadowed. Let your light shine. Once you tap into this energy source, nothing can hold you back!
Protected content. 2019 awakened-woman.
July 29, 2019
Independent, Strong, Driven – So Why Single?
”Does Choosing to Be a Strong and Independent Woman Mean Having to Be Alone”
”Women today have aspirations that exceed the limits set forth by earlier societies. This shift continues to create a beautiful revolution pushing us into a new era.”
Read article in BeLatina.
Many women want to have children, careers and romantic relationships but also want independence. While naysayees will tell you the only way is to give something up. There is another way….
My latest article discusses the topic in more detail.
”Protected content. 2019 awakened-woman.com”
July 28, 2019
Oops! We Did it Again!
There are moments during our lives when it seems the work is not delivering the return we expect. You give your everything in an attempt to make it all happen. The hope is that things will fall into their rightful place. On rare occasion, spontaneous combustion lights up a fortune or luck strikes in your favor but more often times, the wins come in small increments. They don’t happen as fast as we would like but the journey can provide opportunities to meet inspiring people.
Kay Kelman is one of the many empowering women I have connected with since starting AW. She is the artist and founder behind the La FEMME Artiste Exhibition. An all-female art exhibit creating exciting buzz on the West Coast. Ms. Kelman of Naked Canvas Art saw an important void that needed to be filled. The need to display arts created by women. All types of imaginative works that reflect the many gifts found throughout the various art forms.
On February 2, 2019, La FEMME Artiste was kind enough to host Awakened-Woman.com at the PVAA art show in Montclaire, CA. I am pleased to announce AW has been invited back to the August 2019 show. The book “A Journey to Becoming the Best Self” will be showcased.
I’m truly honored and grateful to be in the company of great female artists. We have the capability of empowering one another, strengthening the ties of womanhood. The power of inspiration should not be underestimated. There are careers we end up in by default. Others purposely choose a field, in fact, they cannot imagine doing anything else. Once in a while, we find ourselves being selected by the craft. Regardless, of the path taken to get to your ultimate destination, surrounding yourself with powerful women will attract other powerful women.
I’m proud to have amazing women with me during the walk to greatness. Hopefully, you are constructing your own tribe of empowerment to help build on the foundation you’ve started to lay out for yourself.
“Protected content. 2019 awakened-woman.com”
July 23, 2019
Are You Dating a Narcissist?
You can’t help but notice him when he walks into a room. The attention he commands sucks up the energy in your space. Charming, personable, knowledgeable or perceived to be the wiser. This person attracts the masses. The bigger the swarm, the stronger his superpowers. Often times you cannot ignore his magic. He captivates the interest of most women that cross his path. Have you met this man? Simply irresistible.
A narcissist isn’t necessarily the man who admires himself in a mirror all day. He thrives from outside admiration helping inflate the egotistical behavior. Adoration factors heavily into this personality’s mindset. They are often looking to be idolized as it fulfills their exaggerated sense of self-importance.
Narcissist Personality Disorder (NPD) is mostly found in males. NPD does not need invasive testing. It requires a medical diagnosis by a mental health professional. The condition can last years or a lifetime with no cure. People suffering from it are unlikely to seek help, therefore, it usually goes undiagnosed. The nature of the illness is unknown, further mystifying those who deal with a partner that displays its symptoms.
Living a relationship with a narcissist can be emotionally and mentally taxing. You may spend much of your time dealing with your lover’s insecurities. His efforts to portray the confidence of a lion will falter allowing you to see through his act, eventually. An urgent need for constant attention and reassurance will leave you with little energy for yourself. This personality has an ultra high level of sensitivity to criticism, snapping at the smallest insinuation of being self-centered or behaving badly. He will strongly disagree if accused of selfish or manipulative conduct and often get their way. A combination of mind games can include guilt trips and treating you in a controlling manner to deliver the desired results – always in their favor.
The upkeep for this relationship will be a constant source of distress. Dating or living with someone that suffers from NPD is particularly challenging, as it causes confusion due to the struggles between his persistent need to be noticed and your lack of getting the attention necessary. These partners have a lack of empathy that can lead you to feel like your emotions don’t matter. It’s difficult to decipher whether or not you are receiving true love. This type of man has a tough time loving himself which makes it hard for him to know what it means to give good love. His desire to be validated or treasured is insatiable. It will exhaust you to the point of unhappiness.
If you are under the spell of this type of personality there are actions you can take to get control back. Give yourself a pause to evaluate not only his issues but yours, as well. It is helpful for women in these kinds of relationships to be willing to see how they are enabling a partner. Anyone can accidentally fall into the role of victim, submissive or co-dependent when harboring feelings of not being enough. There is absolutely no shame in doing some internal work to figure out why you are allowing mistreatment. It is never ok, regardless of how much you love someone to let him hurt or make you feel less worthy.
You and your feelings are important. Rise to the greatest level of self-love by asking for respect as an equal in the relationship. If he cannot give it to you then he does not deserve you. Walk away with your head held high because he will never find another like you. Compassion starts with yourself, therefore, be kind to the woman in the mirros. Don’t back down from what you deserve.
Protected content. 2019 awakened-woman
July 20, 2019
Number Ninjas on BeLatina
”Own who you are – that is real power” – AW
Jennifer Lopez, Selma Hayek, Rita Moreno and Raquel Welch just to name a few. Latinas on fire after the age of 50.
Is labeling a woman by age, a thing of the past? These women and many others are breaking barriers. Read my latest article on BeLatina digital magazine.
Protected content. 2019 awakened-Woman
July 18, 2019
Letter to the Readers of AW
Hello,
Hope you are well and living your best life!
I wanted to take a moment to sincerely thank you for purchasing ”A Journey to Becoming the Best Self” and following AW. My wish is that you enjoy the read and feel awakened.
I am sincerely grateful for all the readers and followers. The work and effort put into building AW are important, as women we must empower each other. Sharing my experiences, knowledge and any wisdom I come across will hopefully inspire you and others who might be struggling. We all have hardship but are stronger than we know. Greatness is inside you. Sometimes you just need to be reminded until it comes to light.
Please post reviews on Amazon. I welcome and am excited to read your feedback.
Let’s go into the weekend strong!Talk soon.
Stay Fabulous! 
July 17, 2019
How Vulnerability Can Be Your Greatest Strength
J.Lo‘s meltdown during her “It’s My Party Tour” concert in Las Vegas was a cause of distress when she accidentally dinged herself with a microphone during a performance of “Medicine.” There were videos of the aftermath that included a clip of her expressing to boyfriend Alex Rodriguez, how badly she was feeling about the mishap. Emotional and teary-eyed she is heard saying “I’m not happy with myself.” At that moment, she morphed into a human. I instantly connected with her genuine vulnerability. You can’t help but empathize with the woman.
Ariana Grande‘s recent confession in a Vogue interview was equally heartwarming. In it, the ”Thank U Next” singer expresses how little she remembers about the writing process of the Sweetener album which struck a chord with many of us. The artist shared being very sad and drunk for most of the time during its creation. The candid conversation includes the ugly truth of her relationship struggles with now-deceased Mac Miller. It was enough to get fans to flood the songstress with overwhelming support for such an honest and unguarded admission.
Both women are known for their celebrity status, flawless appearance, confidence, talent, success, and strength. Empowered female figures in pop culture displaying the beauty of owning one’s vulnerability. They are human too, experiencing pain, doubts, and fears like everyone else. All feelings that help us connect with one another. Natural empathy is formed when emotions are shared. Overcoming life’s challenges promote individual growth, as well as, inspire others to keep pushing forward in their own personal journey.
Plenty of men and women believe vulnerability is a weakness. There was a time, I would have agreed with the statement. Today, my mentality has shifted to thinking the opposite is closer to the truth. Being vulnerable not only takes courage but can be your greatest strength.
You are not required to be strong and stoic all the time. Letting your guard down carefully and in moderation can be an asset. The ability to connect is valuable. Intense human connection plays a key role in our development as human beings. It encourages empathy which helps us understand each other better.
Readers ask, why do I choose to share personal stories on AW? What drove me to write a book chronicling the debilitated state of my emotional heartbreak? The idea that people could be a witness to my vulnerability has always been terrifying. Honestly, it still scares me a bit to openly discuss some of the topics I take on. So why put it out there? More and more, I’m finding other women share the similar fears, insecurities, and concerns that I’ve been living with too. We are not alone in the journey of womanhood. There are millions of us confronting our own struggles.
We frequently use the phrase ”courageous as a lion.” Recently, someone described ”A Journey to Becoming the Best Self” as courageous. Writing a book about my heartache left me completely exposed. It details a pivotal time in life showing major vulnerability. I did not feel brave while going through this painful exercise. To the contrary, the notion of defeat was swallowing me whole for a long time. But opening up about what I went through and how I came out on the other side of the ordeal strengthened me. It is proof of my will, demonstrating I’m stronger than I believed myself to be.
It takes guts to show your authentic self. Allowing imperfections to be seen is not a simple task but gets easier the more you do it. Having courage does not signify being unafraid. Doing the things that scare you most is what truly defines bravery. Don’t let yourself be cornered into suppressing your true colors. Everyone has a unique story, what you’ve been through is part of yours. None of it defines you or makes you less worthy. Real strength comes from standing firm on the conviction of who you are with no apologies.
I am stronger for sharing a tale of love and loss. The fabric of my life is unlike anyone else’s, as is yours. It’s pushed me to build character and resilience, slowly gaining a comfort level with the woman I am. Displaying vulnerability can inspire others to share their own stories with you. It also increases fortitude as you become more self-assured. Start small, share something trivial about your day with someone you never thought possible. Tell them about a bad day. You might be surprised at how people respond. The least expected person could identify with what you are experiencing, it may give you some hope and sense of power.
”Protected content. 2019 awakened-woman.com”
Photo by The ABView Photography.
July 12, 2019
The “F” Word
In recent years, the “F” word is being used more often to spotlight an issue that has plagued our country for well over a decade and continues to affect women today.
In my latest article, “Has the Word Feminist Become a Bad Word” written for BeLatina, I discuss how this word is becoming not only one of empowerment but negative backlash, as well. Is it possible that time could be changing the meaning of the word?
Please check out this interesting article at BeLatina digital magazine.
Protected content. 2019 awakened-woman.com
July 11, 2019
Check Out the Newest Feature Article on BeLatina Magazine
I have written about LAT relationships in the past. However, this article describes the benefits this type of arrangement can offer. As a firm believer that different things work for different people, this is one of many examples, The article casts light on an unconventional perspective.
Hope you enjoy the interesting read!
”Protected content. 2019 awakened-woman.com”
The US Review: Recommended Reading
A Journey to Becoming the Best-Self
by Yvette Bodden
Black Rose Writing
Reviewed by:
Barbara Bamberger Scott, The US Review
“Breaking out of the mold is work but worth the attempt. You will discover a new world about the woman you are.”
This guide for women going through a divorce is based on personal experiences. Finding herself as a single mother with a single income in New York City was not only a blow to Bodden’s ego and a challenge to her fortitude but also provided food for the “Five Stages of Divorce Grief”—denial, anger/pain/fear, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. She had to learn to love herself, even to the point of “solo” dating and trips to new and unexplored places to reset her perspective. Moving to a quiet town was a first big step, for though it was not the lifestyle she craved, she had to recognize that it was more appropriate to her new circumstances. Her “aha moment”—that which brought her true fulfillment—was discovering her talent as a writer. In addition to finding and using one’s real strengths, she recommends starting a journal, practicing gratefulness, and making connections with friends old and new.
Bodden’s well-organized book is written with conviction. She empathizes with women facing divorce and its many consequences—time spent in court, financial fights, child custody issues, new career exploration—because she has dealt with these painfully important matters herself. She offers well-considered suggestions: how to recognize if one’s depression has reached a danger point; making an emotional self-examination; being mindful of one’s physical well-being; and, above all, learning to like oneself and recoup lost self-esteem. She expertly discusses from several angles the reasons why it is so difficult to find the enduring love we’ve been programmed to long for. Bodden makes a logical linkage between her divorce trauma and her determination to launch herself into a new career as a blogger and author. Her story, along with the salient advice she offers, can provide courage for women involved in this difficult stage of life.
Original Review can be found at The US Review.
”Protected content. 2019 awakened-woman.com”
