Yvette Bodden's Blog, page 20

Empowerment Series: Television Documentary Producer, Emmy Award Winning News and Documentary Writer, Benita Alexander Shares her Lovecon with AW

The power of love cannot be denied, the mighty connection can make us feel, as if we had wings to fly. Losing love abruptly or forcefully has the potential to cause significant mental and physical harm. Its strength can move mountains or leave destruction in the aftermath of a lover’s deception, destroying the emotional health of its victims. However, despair can be alleviated by taking your power back.

Benita Alexander is a strong, independent, intelligent, warm, and loving woman who thought she found her love connection with a man that swept her off her feet, much like prince charming! In 2013, the successful documentary producer met world-renowned, Dr. Paolo Macchiarini while working on a project for a major network. He was listed as one of top 20 most innovative doctors in his field, a brilliant thoracic surgeon. The man was personable, romantic, intelligent, witty, and seemed to be a respected member of the medical community with no evidence to show otherwise. He charmed his way into Benita’s life by taking her to exotic places, wildly expensive restaurants, shopping sprees, and giving her undivided attention. The perfect fantasy was created, leading her to fall head over heels in love. The trail of roses leading to a lavish proposal was icing on the cake. She had the perfect guy asking to spend the rest of her life with him. Lucky girl? Not quite.

The bigger than life fairytale lasted almost 2 years. Believing it was a match made in heaven, she allowed herself to give into love. He was almost too good to be true – could it be that he was? Sadly, the man depicted, the one her friends and family came to know had a dark secret. Everyone was about to find out the charming surgeon lied about everything, uncovering a mastermind plan of deceit. In the most devious way, Benita discovered she was loveconned. The truth felt like a sucker punch to the stomach but she fought back. She set aside her pain in exchange for the journalist hat, it was the only way to save herself from complete destruction. The decision to share her story with the world helped stop him from doing the same to other women and empowered her to get freed.

The end to Benita’s romance unraveled six weeks before the wedding of the century. The supposed blissful event he had been planning was completely untrue. There was no venue, caterer, or castle for guests to stay in Italy. The designer custom invitations and dresses she paid for out of pocket and was never reimbursed. Her dream slowly toppled, instead becoming a true-crime drama series. The surgeon left her in debt, anguish and heartbreak with only false claims that included lies about his separation, living arrangements and family. The devastation was immeasurable but the fierce, courageous wonder of a woman she is, helped bring her back from the ruin.

My interview with Benita Alexander was an eye-opening conversation. Her story has been shared on shows like Dr. Oz to inform women about the pitfalls of this scheme. It wasn’t until our call that I understood how possible it is for anyone to fall for a con. Having gone through my own small-scale version of a lovecon years go, I felt it was essential to pass on information that could improve our radar and protect you from similar predators.

Firstly, what is a Lovecon? A lovecon is different than cheating or having an affair. When this kind of predator enters a relationship with someone, from day 1, there are nefarious or evil intentions. It is a relationship where one partner is roped into complete deception. The con is to make you think they are someone else other than the real thing by using manipulation and calculated schemes. Each con artist comes with their own motivation and not always has expectations of material gain.

You fell head-over-heels in love, got engaged, quit a high profile, successful career. You introduced him to your daughter and maintained a courtship for 2 years. When did you realize he was lying? Did your woman’s intuition nudge you at anytime hinting something was wrong? Initially, no. He did not give me any reason to suspect foul play. However, 6 months prior to the scheduled wedding date, I sensed a “nagging feeling in my gut.” By that time, invitations had gone out, guests were preparing to travel, all the details for the big day were in place. I did not want to believe there was anything wrong with my perfect guy. I was in love and we were about to get married!

I am not a person of regrets, believing everything happens for a reason but if you could go back, would you do anything, differently? I don’t live in regret either, think in some warped way this could not have happened to a better person. Once out of the love haze, I was able to go into journalist mode and bring this story out into the open. It was difficult to accept this super-surgeon, the man I loved could hurt me, so terribly. I imagined if something like this happened, it was for me to do something about it. I knew that if he was lying about his personal life, there had to be deception in the professional area, too and I was going to blow the lid off it.

For the women reading this interview, can you provide some signs to look out for, to avoid a possible lovecon? I was an investigative journalist, a mom, a woman in love but also vulnerable. Who doesn’t want their own love of a lifetime – the fairy tale? When it happened, I gave up a job at a major network, pulled my daughter out of school because the plan was to relocate to Barcelona after our wedding. I was getting my Disney ending, we grow up believing that is the fantasy we need. These men are predators, who carefully study their prey. They know who they can target and have a vulnerability radar.

3 Signs (red flags) to Look Out for:

If he seems too good to be true, he probably is. Pay attention to what he says and does in the relationship. Take off the rose-colored glasses and keep your eyes wide open.He moves at warp speed! Saying “I love you” after 3 weeks or wanting to marry you after a month, may be something to be cautious about. He wants all of you without revealing anything about himself. These individuals tend to be very guarded. They don’t want you to insert yourself in their work or personal lives. The inability for you to visit or always get an excuse that avoids his apartment, office or place of work can signal trouble. It is unlikely that you will meet his family or friends. Do not underestimate the importance of knowing where he lives and meeting the people in his life.

In an interview you stated that you felt humiliated, heartbroken and embarrassed when having to deal with internet trolls that blamed you for his deceit. Love can be blind, there are people who are exceptionally good at lying. After all that pain, what finally made you go public with your ordeal? Although, not prepared for the backlash and internet bullying received from others calling me stupid, naive gold-digger, I knew the con had to be exposed. This experience made me stronger and things happen for a reason. We have to find the will and courage to speak up, especially when people want to silence you.

I have learned that the things that happen are meant to teach us something. What did you learn from this terrible experience? I am stronger than I realized, have always been determined but now I can set an example for others. This ordeal gave me a mission to empower women. We need to help each other rise, encourage and inspire others on this journey. The only way to become collectively strong is by supporting one another.

I like to finish interviews with a positive quote or mantra that inspires or empowers women. Do you have some words to share about getting through difficult moments after living the ordeal? I always liked comparing myself to Wonder Woman, like a mini-WW. In my lowest moments, I look at my poster of this powerful figure to remind myself of the strength I hold within. I am powerful, strong and fierce, though not easy to be brave, incredibly worth it.

Most of us have heard stories about romance scams. Networks such as ABC, Oxygen, Lifetime, Discovery have created shows and movies around the lovecon headlines. In 2019, the FBI reported 20,000 complaints mounting close to $500M. The negative stigma pertaining to victims’ gullibility, makes them feel ashamed or embarrassed. This discourages reporting the crime, therefore, numbers could be higher.

The kindest act we can perform for another women is to share stories that assist empowerment and protect against any trickery. In addition, it’s good to practice empathy when any of us are victimized. Support each other during difficult times to promote healing and compassion.

Love can make us believe and do the craziest things. If you’ve been in love, you know that the power of it can drag you for miles on its romantic highway. Ultimately, we all want the same thing – love. Not having it can sometimes make people susceptible to falling for scams. As with any relationship, it’s key to remember that love for another should never overshadow the love for ourselves. The best you can do on an ongoing basis is nurture self-love and shield yourself by practicing awareness.

AW is incredibly grateful to Benita for being bold enough to speak out. Hopefully, encouraging openness will inspire others to do the same.

If you’d like to find out more about lovecons, head to Benita’s Instagram @loveconned

Protected content. 2020 awakened-woman.com

Empowerment Series: Founder, Style Esteem Wardrobe, Sonya Keshwani Shares her Journey as a Survivor with AW

Sonya Keshwani showed up on my radar after catching her interview on a segment of a New York local news show. She is soft-spoken, gracious but also a woman of strength, empowerment and resilience. I was honored to meet her virtually for an interview that awakened my spirit during a challenging week.

It is estimated that 1 in 8 women have a chance of getting breast cancer during their lifetime. Although, it may not seem like a lot, it’s one diagnosis too many. If you or someone you know has gone through the traumatic diagnosis and/or treatment then you will appreciate the pain of knowing you’re living with a thief. A disease that steals life from the body and replaces it with extreme fear of death. Sonya received this news in 2018. The cancer changed her life but thankfully, as you will find out from this interview, the disease did not take her spirit.

Like most of us, I’ve had personal struggles that have tested me in countless ways. I am a believer that difficult times offer the greatest growth. What has been the biggest revelation since learning of your breast cancer diagnosis in 2018? I was diagnosed at the age of 29, it was not on my radar, no history of it in my family, nothing to warn me of the life-changing event. Always ambitious, hard-working and energetic but the diagnosis changed everything – life as I knew it, changed in seconds. There were so many appointments, testing, the process made me feel like a science experiment, it was dehumanizing. I had a talk with myself about what this would look like. Expectations of how different life was going to be going forward weighed heavily on my mind. A choice needed to be made, be fluid, go with the reality of things. I chose happiness, no matter how the day was for me. Every hour, minute wanting to scream but I focused on the positive which helped my overall focus.

We have moved away from the perception that women are weak or fragile. Women are resilient and increasingly brave, as we look for different ways to be heard. Style Esteem Wardrobe is a designer headwrap company that offers colorful and stylish headwraps for women, each with an empowering name attached to it. How did you determine the names for the headwraps? When the hair loss came, I tried some wigs but they were uncomfortable. Losing your hair is painful and I wanted to create something that was all about the woman’s experience. Make something to get excited about, be uplifting for women like me that wanted to own their authenticity. Each headwrap is its own superhero cape with a name that embodies a super power.

How has starting this initiative changed you, personally and emotionally? The focus shifted to others instead of myself. I want to concentrate on the company and helping others. This different mindset has to do with worrying less about the self and being happy in the present. I have found purpose and“finding your why” is what carries you through the years – it changes your life.

The global hair market makes close to 90 billion in the United States. As women, oftentimes we place a good deal of weight on our looks. In an interview with Cancer Wellness, you said “Hair loss doesn’t make you any less pretty. It doesn’t make you any less of a woman. And it’s not taking away from the real you.” Can you describe the moment you came to this realization, when you saw beyond the aesthetics to the truly beautiful and authentic you? My struggle with hair loss began after the first round of chemo. Once the second round of treatment came, the doctor said to me “make sure you go buy a wig.” My scalp was raw, bruised which made my head hurt. No one warned me what it would feel like. Wigs were painful and uncomfortable. Chemo procedures were an exhausting process, putting on a mesh to adjust a wig that was not natural, did not seem worthwhile. I wanted to feel like myself, I purchased some fabric and pattern and started sewing my own headwraps! Beauty is how you feel about yourself, I am beautiful with or without hair – it’s still me.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Do you have any advice for women who may just have received their own diagnosis? You must take time for yourself, process a diagnosis and care for your mental health. Allow space to work through the things you’ll need to do going forward. Many decisions are ahead of you but own your story. Do what you’re ready for and on your time. The other important thing to remember is that you get to tell this story to who you want and when you feel prepared. You shape the narrative, tell a story that empowers you – on your terms.

What do you say to women who are delaying their regular mammograms for fear of the pandemic or outcome of testing? I know some women are afraid of the testing for the news they could get, “they rather not know.” I can’t stress how important it is to get tested. Early detection can save your life, it gives you a chance to get treatment for the disease before it worsens. Since the pandemic began, testing has decreased substantially. You cannot let fear stop you from taking care of yourself.

AW likes to end interviews with a positive message, quote or mantra to inspire readers. Can you provide women experiencing a difficult time some words of encouragement? One of my favorite quotes is by Naomi Campbell. “This is how I dress, and this is how I carry myself. What do they expect me to do, walk in looking all drib and drab? I’ve never looked drib and drab in my life,” she told W magazine in a feature titled “The Naomi Diaries”.

“Just because I have cancer, doesn’t mean that I have to look like I have cancer.”

Life can be harsh, testing us every step of the way. I think the real winners are those that despite being dealt a bad hand, turn their lives into a masterpiece of great strength and success. Speaking to Sonya had a huge effect on me, personally and emotionally. She is confident, strong and stunning – a woman who carries herself with so much grace. She has taken the power away from cancer by inspiring others to find acceptance with their diagnosis instead of fighting it.

The interview gifted me with a moment of enlightenment. It opened my mind, reminding me that we are as powerful as we believe. Her story is sure to encourage readers and spark a light of hope. Whatever you are going through right now, find a way to turn it into positive energy. Allow this moment to fuel the determination to dig yourself out of the turmoil and keep going!

AW is lucky to have been given the opportunity to speak this remarkably powerful lady for its empowerment series.

Protected content. 2020 awakened-woman.com

Empowerment Series: Sonya Keshwani, Founder, Style Esteem Wardrobe Shares her Journey as a Survivor with AW

Sonya Keshwani showed up on my radar after catching her interview on a segment of a New York local news show. She is soft-spoken, gracious but also a woman of strength, empowerment and resilience. I was honored to meet her virtually for an interview that awakened my spirit during a challenging week.

It is estimated that 1 in 8 women have a chance of getting breast cancer during their lifetime. Although, it may not seem like a lot, it’s one diagnosis too many. If you or someone you know has gone through the traumatic diagnosis and/or treatment then you will appreciate the pain of knowing you’re living with a thief. A disease that steals life from the body and replaces it with extreme fear of death. Sonya received this news in 2018. The cancer changed her life but thankfully, as you will find out from this interview, the disease did not take her spirit.

Like most of us, I’ve had personal struggles that have tested me in countless ways. I am a believer that difficult times offer the greatest growth. What has been the biggest revelation since learning of your breast cancer diagnosis in 2018? I was diagnosed at the age of 29, it was not on my radar, no history of it in my family, nothing to warn me of the life-changing event. Always ambitious, hard-working and energetic but the diagnosis changed everything – life as I knew it, changed in seconds. There were so many appointments, testing, the process made me feel like a science experiment, it was dehumanizing. I had a talk with myself about what this would look like. Expectations of how different life was going to be going forward weighed heavily on my mind. A choice needed to be made, be fluid, go with the reality of things. I chose happiness, no matter how the day was for me. Every hour, minute wanting to scream but I focused on the positive which helped my overall focus.

We have moved away from the perception that women are weak or fragile. Women are resilient and increasingly brave, as we look for different ways to be heard. Style Esteem Wardrobe is a designer headwrap company that offers colorful and stylish headwraps for women, each with an empowering name attached to it. How did you determine the names for the headwraps? When the hair loss came, I tried some wigs but they were uncomfortable. Losing your hair is painful and I wanted to create something that was all about the woman’s experience. Make something to get excited about, be uplifting for women like me that wanted to own their authenticity. Each headwrap is its own superhero cape with a name that embodies a super power.

How has starting this initiative changed you, personally and emotionally? The focus shifted to others instead of myself. I want to concentrate on the company and helping others. This different mindset has to do with worrying less about the self and being happy in the present. I have found purpose and“finding your why” is what carries you through the years – it changes your life.

The global hair market makes close to 90 billion in the United States. As women, oftentimes we place a good deal of weight on our looks. In an interview with Cancer Wellness, you said “Hair loss doesn’t make you any less pretty. It doesn’t make you any less of a woman. And it’s not taking away from the real you.” Can you describe the moment you came to this realization, when you saw beyond the aesthetics to the truly beautiful and authentic you? My struggle with hair loss began after the first round of chemo. Once the second round of treatment came, the doctor said to me “make sure you go buy a wig.” My scalp was raw, bruised which made my head hurt. No one warned me what it would feel like. Wigs were painful and uncomfortable. Chemo procedures were an exhausting process, putting on a mesh to adjust a wig that was not natural, did not seem worthwhile. I wanted to feel like myself, I purchased some fabric and pattern and started sewing my own headwraps! Beauty is how you feel about yourself, I am beautiful with or without hair – it’s still me.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Do you have any advice for women who may just have received their own diagnosis? You must take time for yourself, process a diagnosis because you will feel afraid. Allow space to work through the things you’ll need to do going forward. Many decisions are ahead of you but own your story. Do what you’re ready for and on your time. The other important thing to remember is that you get to tell this story to who you want and when you feel prepared. You shape the narrative, tell a story that empowers you – on your terms.

What do you say to women who are delaying their regular mammograms for fear of the pandemic or outcome of testing? I know some women are afraid of the testing for the news they could get, “they rather not know.” I can’t stress how important it is to get tested. Early detection can save your life, it gives you a chance to get treatment for the disease before it worsens. Since the pandemic began, testing has decreased substantially. You cannot let fear stop you from taking care of yourself.

AW likes to end interviews with a positive message, quote or mantra to inspire readers. Can you provide women experiencing a difficult time some words of encouragement? Funny, not sure if it may help but it has lifted me at times. One of my favorite quotes is by Naomi Campbell. “This is how I dress, and this is how I carry myself. What do they expect me to do, walk in looking all drib and drab? I’ve never looked drib and drab in my life,” she told W magazine in a feature titled “The Naomi Diaries”.

Sonya: “Just because I have cancer, doesn’t mean that I have to look like I have cancer.”

Life can be harsh, testing us every step of the way. I think the real winners are those that despite being dealt a bad hand, turn their lives into a masterpiece of great strength and success. Speaking to Sonya had a huge effect on me, personally and emotionally. She is confident, strong and stunning – a woman who carries herself with so much grace. She has taken the power away from cancer by inspiring others to find acceptance with their diagnosis instead of fighting it.

The interview gifted me with a moment of enlightenment. It opened my mind, reminding me that we are as powerful as we believe. Her story is sure to encourage readers and spark a light of hope. Whatever you are going through right now, find a way to turn it into positive energy. Allow this moment to fuel the determination to dig yourself out of the turmoil and keep going!

AW is lucky to have been given the opportunity to speak this remarkably powerful lady for its empowerment series.

Protected content. 2020 awakened-woman.com

Empowerment Series: Founder & CEO of Rizos Curls, Julissa Prado Shares her Entrepreneurial Journey with AW

On October 1, 2020, Julissa Prado was named the newest winner of Beacon Awards Entrepreneur of the Year, as announced by Indie Beauty Media Group (IBMG), publisher of Beauty Independent (BI).

The entrepreneur is no stranger to media, appearing in publications such as O, The Oprah Magazine, Forbes, Allure, Popsugar, Refinery 29, People en Espanol, Cosmopolitan, Buzzfeed, and Glamour are a few of the platforms praising her product line. The self-funded and Latina owned company started in 2017 and is now estimated to be worth over $1 Million. The Mexican-American daughter of immigrants grew up in Los Angeles. She holds curls, community and culture in high regard, it’s what inspired Rizos Curls fueling accomplishments along the way.

I am honored to have the opportunity to share this interview with readers. It was invigorating to hear about this young woman’s journey, as her dreams become true before our eyes. Julissa is personable, genuine and grounded when discussing her success. All you have to do is hop on Instagram or the Rizos Curls page to see that she is just one of the girls. The moment I reached out to ask a few questions about her journey, she was welcoming. This is the inspiring story of a 14-year old girl who wished to solve a problem. She wanted to create a product that catered to curly haired girls like her. Ultimately, she did much more because it evolved into a movement. Her social media is a testament to the love and loyalty her products are getting from followers.

We are witnessing more women take chances on entrepreneurship. The events of 2020 have encouraged an introspection, forcing us to question our sense of purpose. Plenty of women are stuck in jobs that leave them unfulfilled or dissatisfied. Julissa has a Bachelors degree in International Business from UCLA and a Masters in Business Management from Wake Forest University. She did well as a District Sales Leader for Nestle then decided to invest her energy full-time into Rizos Curls. I was interested in finding out more about how she transformed an idea into a company.

When did you know it was time to quit your day job? I went full time with Rizos Curls soon after we launched, within a month or two. I never anticipated this change happening so soon after starting the business. I thought Rizos Curls would be my side passion project while I worked at Nestle for a few more years. Luckily, there were many orders when we first launched, I couldn’t keep up. I was forced to go full time to keep up with demand.

Congratulations on being a Beacon Award winner! There are plenty of highs to be proud of these past couple years. Your brand is widely recognized as a top contender in the beauty and hair community, and you’ve seen yourself on an enormous billboard in Midtown Manhattan. Your hair products are in Walmart store shelves, as well as, Target which you manifested years ago. In an interview with Oprahmag.com, you are described as “passionate, when discussing the pursuit of your dreams – and the fact that it would not have been possible to realize without great sacrifice.”

So far, what has been your biggest sacrifice? Would you do it all the same, again? An incredibly difficult decision for every entrepreneur is knowing when to go full time. In starting Rizos Curls, I decided to leave my high paying leadership position at Nestle, and take the leap of entrepreneur without knowing what would lie ahead. It can be very scary for new entrepreneurs, I had to determine what the cost of the opportunity, meant to me. I knew in my heart that I needed to invest in my passion. Once I took this step, you wouldn’t believe the amount of people who stepped forward to propel me along my journey. I’d definitely do it all over again. I would not be here now without the decisions and sacrifices made.

I read that when your Facebook group first went live, you rapidly climbed from 100 to 30,000 followers. Women were engaging with you because you responded to their needs, resolving a problem. You helped them work through their hair emergencies. Your social media brand is a testament to your authenticity. Sharing the journey with everyone makes your audience feel they’re more than a number. You have growing a community, it tells a lot about you, as a person. You’re likable, relatable, and real, it encourages customers and clients to trust you and what you stand for.

What advice would you give someone just starting to build a brand? I would say this for anyone who wants to start any business. Pursue your passion! You will never have all the answers but you can seek out to resources around you and your community for guidance, they will push you forward. Start small if you need to, and grow from there. Stay true to yourself and the vision, as it will allow you to connect with customers, build loyalty, and ensure success. Be incredibly creative, both in terms of content and business operations. Stay ahead of the game and don’t be afraid to reach out to your customers for assistance. Some of the best ideas may come from your own customer base.

You are a vibrant, young, thriving entrepreneur that is building her own empire. The success is sweeter when you know you’ve put the work in, implementing ideas that leveled up the business. However, these are the some things that prove challenging, it takes time to see results.

How did you surpass the tough days when you weren’t sure the venture would take off? What do you do to get over the deals, proposals, and projects turned down or when these don’t happen as fast as you’d like? Being an entrepreneur is incredibly humbling. On a daily, I face obstacles that I have NO clue how to overcome. I’m constantly learning something new to add to my skill set. I had to come to terms with the fact that there is a lot, I still don’t know. Being a good student, having the ability to quickly learn the things I don’t know is invaluable. I am a believer that what is meant to be will be, as long as, I walk in my purpose, the right doors will open. When projects are turned down or don’t happen, I don’t stress. Having trust in what is meant for me is key, if it does not happen then something else will come in its place.

In an Instagram post, you said that you love sunlight! What do you love most about the journey you are on as a Latina woman designing her own rules? I love that I’m able to connect with so many people in the curly hair community all over the world on something I feel so passionate about – curly hair! Incredibly proud to have formed a self-funded independent brand that is a mission-based company focused on the 3 C’s – curls, community and culture!

We sometimes change a lot of who we are to accommodate others, fit a mold, or maintain relationships, so much that we forget ourselves in the process. You are fierce about your Latina roots, your people and embracing all that you are in an unapologetic manner. We love and celebrate it!

Can you share an experience when you felt you were not being true to yourself? What was the turning point that helped you realize you did not have to change or conform to anyone’s concept of beautiful? As a woman, hair is a big part of how we internalize our beauty. Growing up, I was often made fun of for my hair. I was called everything from Puff Ball, Frizz Ball to other undesired names. Unfortunately, hearing the negative comments motivated me to want the long, straight hair. It wasn’t until High School, where I started embracing my natural hair and really loving myself. I went to a progressive high school where we learned race theory, and the many standards of beauty internalized, as a result of the systems of inequality against people of color. I realized that I needed to embody my hair to encourage the dismantling of previous beliefs related to hair being ugly.

I like to end the AW interviews with a positive message. Can you share a positive mantra or quote that empowered you while starting the dream that is now materializing? My favorite business mantra is “Makeup in creativity what you lack in marketing dollars.” I saved for over 5 years before launching Rizos Curls, it is 100% self-funded and still is today. A round of venture capital is not required to get started and excel in your space.

Youth gives us the freedom to dream but sometimes, as we age, we become incredulous. The pressures of life and responsibilities that we bear, ground us. Whether it is reality or insecurity, there is a tendency to stop daring ourselves to go after the things we want most. If you are a dreamer, I hope Julissa’s story serves as a reminder that you have the power to create the life you envision. The only one that can stop you from your dream is you.

Thank you to Julissa Prado and the team at Chic Influence for giving AW this wonderful opportunity.

Protected content. 2020 awakened-woman.com

Empowerment Series: Julissa Prado, Founder & CEO of Rizos Curls Shares her Entrepreneurial Journey with AW

On October 1, 2020, Julissa Prado was named the newest winner of Beacon Award’s Entrepreneur of the Year, as announced by Indie Beauty Media Group (IBMG), publisher of Beauty Independent (BI).

The entrepreneur is no stranger to media, appearing in publications such as O, The Oprah Magazine, Forbes, Allure, Popsugar, Refinery 29, People en Espanol, Cosmopolitan, Buzzfeed, and Glamour are a few of the platforms praising her product line. The self-funded and Latina owned company started in 2017 and is now estimated to be worth over $1 Million. The Mexican-American daughter of immigrants grew up in Los Angeles. She holds curls, community and culture in high regard, it’s what inspired Rizos Curls fueling accomplishments along the way.

I am honored to have the opportunity to share this interview with readers. It was invigorating to hear about this young woman’s journey, as her dreams become true before our eyes. Julissa is personable, genuine and grounded when discussing her success. All you have to do is hop on Instagram or the Rizos Curls page to see that she is just one of the girls. The moment I reached out to ask a few questions about her journey, she was welcoming. This is the inspiring story of a 14-year old girl who wished to solve a problem. She wanted to create a product that catered to curly haired girls like her. Ultimately, she did much more because it evolved into a movement. Her social media is a testament to the love and loyalty her products are getting from followers.

We are witnessing more women take chances on entrepreneurship. The events of 2020 have encouraged an introspection, forcing us to question our sense of purpose. Plenty of women are stuck in jobs that leave them unfulfilled or dissatisfied. Julissa has a Bachelors degree in International Business from UCLA and a Masters in Business Management from Wake Forest University. She did well as a District Sales Leader for Nestle then decided to invest her energy full-time into Rizos Curls. I was interested in finding out more about how she transformed an idea into a company.

When did you know it was time to quit your day job? I went full time with Rizos Curls soon after we launched, within a month or two. I never anticipated this change happening so soon after starting the business. I thought Rizos Curls would be my side passion project while I worked at Nestle for a few more years. Luckily, there were many orders when we first launched, I couldn’t keep up. I was forced to go full time to keep up with demand.

Congratulations on being a Beacon Award winner! There are plenty of highs to be proud of these past couple years. Your brand is widely recognized as a top contender in the beauty and hair community, and you’ve seen yourself on an enormous billboard in Midtown Manhattan. Your hair products are in Walmart store shelves, as well as, Target which you manifested years ago. In an interview with Oprahmag.com, you are described as “passionate, when discussing the pursuit of your dreams – and the fact that it would not have been possible to realize without great sacrifice.”

So far, what has been your biggest sacrifice? Would you do it all the same, again? An incredibly difficult decision for every entrepreneur is knowing when to go full time. In starting Rizos Curls, I decided to leave my high paying leadership position at Nestle, and take the leap of entrepreneur without knowing what would lie ahead. It can be very scary for new entrepreneurs, I had to determine what the cost of the opportunity, meant to me. I knew in my heart that I needed to invest in my passion. Once I took this step, you wouldn’t believe the amount of people who stepped forward to propel me along my journey. I’d definitely do it all over again. I would not be here now without the decisions and sacrifices made.

I read that when your Facebook group first went live, you rapidly climbed from 100 to 30,000 followers. Women were engaging with you because you responded to their needs, resolving a problem. You helped them work through their hair emergencies. Your social media brand is a testament to your authenticity. Sharing the journey with everyone makes your audience feel they’re more than a number. You have growing a community, it tells a lot about you, as a person. You’re likable, relatable, and real, it encourages customers and clients to trust you and what you stand for.

What advice would you give someone just starting to build a brand? I would say this for anyone who wants to start any business. Pursue your passion! You will never have all the answers but you can seek out to resources around you and your community for guidance, they will push you forward. Start small if you need to, and grow from there. Stay true to yourself and the vision, as it will allow you to connect with customers, build loyalty, and ensure success. Be incredibly creative, both in terms of content and business operations. Stay ahead of the game and don’t be afraid to reach out to your customers for assistance. Some of the best ideas may come from your own customer base.

You are a vibrant, young, thriving entrepreneur that is building her own empire. The success is sweeter when you know you’ve put the work in, implementing ideas that leveled up the business. However, these are the some things that prove challenging, it takes time to see results.

How did you surpass the tough days when you weren’t sure the venture would take off? What do you do to get over the deals, proposals, and projects turned down or when these don’t happen as fast as you’d like? Being an entrepreneur is incredibly humbling. On a daily, I face obstacles that I have NO clue how to overcome. I’m constantly learning something new to add to my skill set. I had to come to terms with the fact that there is a lot, I still don’t know. Being a good student, having the ability to quickly learn the things I don’t know is invaluable. I am a believer that what is meant to be will be, as long as, I walk in my purpose, the right doors will open. When projects are turned down or don’t happen, I don’t stress. Having trust in what is meant for me is key, if it does not happen then something else will come in its place.

In an Instagram post, you said that you love sunlight! What do you love most about the journey you are on as a Latina woman designing her own rules? I love that I’m able to connect with so many people in the curly hair community all over the world on something I feel so passionate about – curly hair! Incredibly proud to have formed a self-funded independent brand that is a mission-based company focused on the 3 C’s – curls, community and culture!

We sometimes change a lot of who we are to accommodate others, fit a mold, or maintain relationships, so much that we forget ourselves in the process. You are fierce about your Latina roots, your people and embracing all that you are in an unapologetic manner. We love and celebrate it!

Can you share an experience when you felt you were not being true to yourself? What was the turning point that helped you realize you did not have to change or conform to anyone’s concept of beautiful? As a woman, hair is a big part of how we internalize our beauty. Growing up, I was often made fun of for my hair. I was called everything from Puff Ball, Frizz Ball to other undesired names. Unfortunately, hearing the negative comments motivated me to want the long, straight hair. It wasn’t until High School, where I started embracing my natural hair and really loving myself. I went to a progressive high school where we learned race theory, and the many standards of beauty internalized, as a result of the systems of inequality against people of color. I realized that I needed to embody my hair to encourage the dismantling of previous beliefs related to hair being ugly.

I like to end the AW interviews with a positive message. Can you share a positive mantra or quote that empowered you while starting the dream that is now materializing? My favorite business mantra is “Makeup in creativity what you lack in marketing dollars.” I saved for over 5 years before launching Rizos Curls, it is 100% self-funded and still is today. A round of venture capital is not required to get started and excel in your space.

Youth gives us the freedom to dream but sometimes, as we age, we become incredulous. The pressures of life and responsibilities that we bear, ground us. Whether it is reality or insecurity, there is a tendency to stop daring ourselves to go after the things we want most. If you are a dreamer, I hope Julissa’s story serves as a reminder that you have the power to create the life you envision. The only one that can stop you from your dream is you.

Thank you to Julissa Prado and the team at Chic Influence for giving AW this wonderful opportunity.

Protected content. 2020 awakened-woman.com

Do You Dump, Keep or get Revenge like J.Lo in Marry Me?

Jennifer Lopez‘ newest film, Marry Me is a romantic comedy that tells the story of Kat and Bastian’s superstar love affair gone wrong. Global Latin music star, Maluma makes his Hollywood debut opposite Lopez, as the pop star’s love interest, who is left at the altar after his philandering ways are uncovered seconds before I Do’s take place. The moment of truth takes the bride-to-be on a detour, when an impulsive reaction opens the door to a chance at something real accompanied by a different set of challenges. Kat’s character takes audiences on a journey of love while unravelling the consequences of her actions with lighthearted humor.

The premise of the film will appeal to fans of the leading cast, as well as, moviegoers looking for a charming rom-com with a little glitz, glamour, fashion and laughs. Viewers may even connect with parts of the plot, finding it relatable. Personally, the story line “boy is unfaithful to girl” resonated with me, couldn’t help to think about my own past experiences.

If you’ve endured a relationship with a cheating partner then Marry Me may set off bells. Figuring out what to do with a relationship after uncovering a significant other’s betrayal is not always cut and dry. If you don’t see it coming, heartbreak strikes with the power of a bat to a baseball. Once the dust settles, you are left with a decision to make. Do you end things, forgive a partner, or get back at the person that caused your suffering.

The woman who believes that monogamy is a choice is unlikely to excuse these transgressions. Honoring the commitment to a loved one hinders you from taking action that violates trust. Having such a strong stand can make it difficult to grant forgiveness at times. Seeing life in black and white leads to a stern perspective of right or wrong. Chances are you will dump a cheater, the “I’m Sorry” apology falls short. Your deal breakers serve as boundaries and when broken it prompts an evaluation. If self-worth, respect and values are compromised, he’s gone!

In Marry Me, J.Lo’s character takes the ultimate revenge on her cheating fiancee by marrying a total stranger! The abrupt move is drastic and probably wouldn’t fare well in real life. But for this woman, a game of tit for tat can numb the pain, at least temporarily. The ultimate retaliation has one person punish another with a dose of their own medicine to purposely inflict harm, it creates major issues. Sacrificing your dignity to get back at someone else is never worth it. Vengeance hurts everyone, most of all you.

If you are part of a marriage, living with a partner or dating long-term, things can get complicated. It may feel like you have too much time invested or love trumps everything. You are committed to making it work against all odds. Your goal is to keep your family or relationship together, seeing it through to the end.

Men and women might agree, there is no road map for relationships. The direction your love life takes is based on decisions driven by emotion and personal choice. There isn’t a universal right answer because each of us is unique, in its own circumstance. Although, relationships are built on the efforts of two people, we should consider what is best for our individual happiness. Love, in its best light is illuminating, beautiful but it starts within. Mold, shape and craft the love for yourself, it will be the navigation system guiding you to make the healthiest choices.

If you ever find yourself in a space where there is a lack of respect in any way, these two pieces of wisdom can help when deciding to dump, keep or get revenge. First, you are worthy of love that is considerate and shows kindness towards you. Second, people will do to you, what you allow them. Set boundaries that align with your values and what you deserve.

Universal Pictures is set to release Marry Me on Valentine’s Day Weekend 2021. Meanwhile, Maluma and J.Lo fans can stream the most recent singles from the movie, online. A two-part video of Pa’Ti and Lonely is out now. Viewers will enjoy a sexy preview of the chemistry between the two celebs, set to share the screen with well-known American actor, Owen Wilson.

*Photo by: Universal Pictures

Protected content. 2020 awakened-woman.com

Empowerment Series: “Dynasty and The Baker and the Beauty” Actress, Nathalie Kelly Shares Self-Care Rituals with AW

Nathalie Kelley first came up on my radar as “Noa Hamilton” on The Baker and the Beauty. I interviewed the actress, shortly after the show’s finale (cancelled, June 2020). She is mild-mannered, down to earth, easygoing and a natural, always looking to help others. Long time fans will remember her from Dynasty, Vampire Diaries, Body of Proof, or as, Neela in the 2006 film, The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift.

The Peruvian-Australian activist is all things nature. Her Instagram feed is a collage of inspiration demonstrating empathy for others. Nathalie shared a lot about herself, including an undeniable passion as an Indigenous Woman. The love she displays for fans, family and all things good is a true testament of the type of person she off screen.

I was excited when Nathalie graciously agreed to talk to AW about wellness, self-love and life. She even shared some rituals that can help with our mental and physical balance. One of the most important things we can do for ourselves, as women is self-care and she provided useful tips. Taking care of our needs is a necessity, in order to be there for others. Our conversation reminded me of the significance there is in putting yourself first.

Women are known as natural born nurturers. We tend to take on too much at times, often placing ourselves last on the priority list. Have you ever faced a moment in life when you felt overwhelmed? Can you briefly describe what happened and how did you ease the pressure off your shoulders? Of course, I have felt overwhelmed by the pressures on my plate, we all have at one time or other. I don’t have children but have immense respect for women in this essential role. I am an activist and advocate, and experience a different burnout. It can be exhausting, as an ally to see the suffering communities. My eyes have been opened to much unfairness. Stories of hardship in the Amazon, South America, and all parts of the world. People are dying due to lack of resources. It is heartbreaking and very difficult to see orher’s pain up close, takes hold of your heart.

I try to take time off for self-care and reconnect with nature to help release stress. I am aware not everyone has the luxury to take a time out but we should do what we can to aid others and still replenish. COVID-19 has added an extra layer of tension and uncertainty to our lives. It’s important to encourage everyone to wake up to this reality. Open your heart and compassion to those that need it, start with being kind to yourself.

Women spend a lot of time caring for loved ones. It’s easy to lose ourselves and become unrecognizable. Personal hobbies, passions, enjoyment taking place outside the roles we play can disappear over time. Have you ever lost yourself in a relationship or career? How did you manage to regain your identity? How do you make sure you set aside time for yourself? During my 20’s, I lost my sense of identity in a relationship. He was older, successful, wonderfully creative and introduced me to new experiences. I got caught up living in the shadow of his life and dreams. This happened voluntarily, he was not at fault. I gave up my career to live his, eventually, it hit home that I was not raised this way. I broke out of the relationship to follow my own goals. It was challenging but there was a lesson for me to learn. I could not continue sacrificing myself for love. We had a lovely history, as hard as it was, I made the choice not to stay in the relationship. Today, we are still friends, and he expresses his respect for everything I’ve done for myself. He says “If you would have stayed, you would not have accomplished all that you have.” It is essential to find a supportive partner. Plenty of men are programmed to think their career and dreams are most important, however, both of you matter. If women choose to take on the supporting role and it works for them, go for it. Remain true to who you are and don’t betray your needs. Remember that your happiness matters, come back to yourself. Also, find a like-minded tribe of women to accompany you on your journey. We have to lean on one another to keep up.

In a recent Instagram post, you talked about “fear based triggers” and how you practice Qigong (similar to Tai-Chi) to help you push through the process. It is the use of Kinesiology based therapy to help with subconscious beliefs and patterns, learning about the neurosciences to help understand the brain. I believe we all have our own triggers. For myself, witnessing my parents’ volatile relationship during childhood affected me in different ways. It resulted in personal triggers, however, once I acknowledged these, I was able to understand how to deal with them in a healthy manner. Is there a trigger you are able to share? When did you realize you had to come to terms with the issue. How did you do to overcome it? Self-limiting beliefs had a strong effect on me for some time. The inability to express my needs was ingrained. I believed it was my duty to do it all myself. Growing up, my father was not around. My mother taught me to be independent, strong-minded, self-sufficient and never depend on a man. This limited me, I ended pushing people away in my life. Realizing, it was unhealthy behavior, I began to look for ways to manage my actions. I needed to figure out how to stop myself from giving into the triggers. Holistic methods such as Psy-K sessions helped me so much. We need to face the issues, confront them head on in a healthy way. Recently, a group of friends and I began the Ritual Community to create a resource for women seeking support to improve well-being. It allows clients to customize their own rituals of self-care in their daily lives. There is a wide variety of rituals women can use to help them with balance. Our hope is to grow, engage and learn from the women in the community. We should use the sources available to us for better. I am grateful to have a group that can hold me up.

I read that you are a big supporter of self-care. Why do you believe self-care is essential to our well-being? Do you have any specific ritual to help keep you mentally strong? There are many rituals to try such as creative journaling, lucid dreaming, creative dancing. I do Abyhanga weekly, it is a form of Ayurvedic medicine using massages with warm herb-infused oils. We must be able to disconnect from our environment, in order to recharge. It helps us think clearer and reinvigorates us with the energy needed to continue pushing through life.

We are living in a world of incredible uncertainty. I have personally experienced moments of anxiety and fear over the future, not just my own and loved ones but the human race. Is there a mantra or quote you would like to share that you use to help bring calm? My mantra is simple “I have time.” I always felt there was never enough time to do the things I wanted. Using these words encourage me to carve out time to do the important things. It can be the simplest of things like staying present for a friend, loved ones or myself. Live in the moment and experience it, as it happens.

We spend plenty of time taking care of others, selflessly. I have learned that self-care is a crucial part of self-love. Loving yourself is a key to wellness, it promotes internal balance which directly affects our mind and body. Whether you are a well-known actress in the entertainment world, mother of two working in the corporate world or a single gal taking odd jobs to make ends meet. Schedule your yoga, meditation, a run in the park, regular exercise, bubble bath, alone time, time with girlfriends, anything to help decompress or give you relief should be added to your weekly agenda. YOU are entitled to quality time that promotes self-care, it is essential for you to function at optimal capacity.

We are bound by our experiences, it’s how we learn from one another. I am thankful to Nathalie for sharing how she cares for her well being. Hopefully, this story will inspire to plan some of your own self-care.

Protected content. 2020 awakened-woman.com

Empowerment Series: Actress, Nathalie Kelly Shares Self-Care Rituals with AW

Nathalie Kelley first came up on my radar as “Noa Hamilton” on The Baker and the Beauty. I interviewed the actress, shortly after the show’s finale (cancelled, June 2020). She is mild-mannered, down to earth, easygoing and a natural, always looking to help others. Long time fans will remember her from Dynasty, Vampire Diaries, Body of Proof, or as, Neela in the 2006 film, The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift.

The Peruvian-Australian activist is all things nature. Her Instagram feed is a collage of inspiration demonstrating empathy for others. Nathalie shared a lot about herself, including an undeniable passion as an Indigenous Woman. The love she displays for fans, family and all things good is a true testament of the type of person she off screen.

I was excited when Nathalie graciously agreed to talk to AW about wellness, self-love and life. She even shared some rituals that can help with our mental and physical balance. One of the most important things we can do for ourselves, as women is self-care and she provided useful tips. Taking care of our needs is a necessity, in order to be there for others. Our conversation reminded me of the significance there is in putting yourself first.

Women are known as natural born nurturers. We tend to take on too much at times, often placing ourselves last on the priority list. Have you ever faced a moment in life when you felt overwhelmed? Can you briefly describe what happened and how did you ease the pressure off your shoulders? Of course, I have felt overwhelmed by the pressures on my plate, we all have at one time or other. I don’t have children but have immense respect for women in this essential role. I am an activist and advocate, and experience a different burnout. It can be exhausting, as an ally to see the suffering communities. My eyes have been opened to much unfairness. Stories of hardship in the Amazon, South America, and all parts of the world. People are dying due to lack of resources. It is heartbreaking and very difficult to see orher’s pain up close, takes hold of your heart.

I try to take time off for self-care and reconnect with nature to help release stress. I am aware not everyone has the luxury to take a time out but we should do what we can to aid others and still replenish. COVID-19 has added an extra layer of tension and uncertainty to our lives. It’s important to encourage everyone to wake up to this reality. Open your heart and compassion to those that need it, start with being kind to yourself.

Women spend a lot of time caring for loved ones. It’s easy to lose ourselves and become unrecognizable. Personal hobbies, passions, enjoyment taking place outside the roles we play can disappear over time. Have you ever lost yourself in a relationship or career? How did you manage to regain your identity? How do you make sure you set aside time for yourself? During my 20’s, I lost my sense of identity in a relationship. He was older, successful, wonderfully creative and introduced me to new experiences. I got caught up living in the shadow of his life and dreams. This happened voluntarily, he was not at fault. I gave up my career to live his, eventually, it hit home that I was not raised this way. I broke out of the relationship to follow my own goals. It was challenging but there was a lesson for me to learn. I could not continue sacrificing myself for love. We had a lovely history, as hard as it was, I made the choice not to stay in the relationship. Today, we are still friends, and he expresses his respect for everything I’ve done for myself. He says “If you would have stayed, you would not have accomplished all that you have.” It is essential to find a supportive partner. Plenty of men are programmed to think their career and dreams are most important, however, both of you matter. If women choose to take on the supporting role and it works for them, go for it. Remain true to who you are and don’t betray your needs. Remember that your happiness matters, come back to yourself. Also, find a like-minded tribe of women to accompany you on your journey. We have to lean on one another to keep up.

In a recent Instagram post, you talked about “fear based triggers” and how you practice Qigong (similar to Tai-Chi) to help you push through the process. It is the use of Kinesiology based therapy to help with subconscious beliefs and patterns, learning about the neurosciences to help understand the brain. I believe we all have our own triggers. For myself, witnessing my parents’ volatile relationship during childhood affected me in different ways. It resulted in personal triggers, however, once I acknowledged these, I was able to understand how to deal with them in a healthy manner. Is there a trigger you are able to share? When did you realize you had to come to terms with the issue. How did you do to overcome it? Self-limiting beliefs had a strong effect on me for some time. The inability to express my needs was ingrained. I believed it was my duty to do it all myself. Growing up, my father was not around. My mother taught me to be independent, strong-minded, self-sufficient and never depend on a man. This limited me, I ended pushing people away in my life. Realizing, it was unhealthy behavior, I began to look for ways to manage my actions. I needed to figure out how to stop myself from giving into the triggers. Holistic methods such as Psy-K sessions helped me so much. We need to face the issues, confront them head on in a healthy way. Recently, a group of friends and I began the Ritual Community to create a resource for women seeking support to improve well-being. It allows clients to customize their own rituals of self-care in their daily lives. There is a wide variety of rituals women can use to help them with balance. Our hope is to grow, engage and learn from the women in the community. We should use the sources available to us for better. I am grateful to have a group that can hold me up.

I read that you are a big supporter of self-care. Why do you believe self-care is essential to our well-being? Do you have any specific ritual to help keep you mentally strong? There are many rituals to try such as creative journaling, lucid dreaming, creative dancing. I do Abyhanga weekly, it is a form of Ayurvedic medicine using massages with warm herb-infused oils. We must be able to disconnect from our environment, in order to recharge. It helps us think clearer and reinvigorates us with the energy needed to continue pushing through life.

We are living in a world of incredible uncertainty. I have personally experienced moments of anxiety and fear over the future, not just my own and loved ones but the human race. Is there a mantra or quote you would like to share that you use to help bring calm? My mantra is simple “I have time.” I always felt there was never enough time to do the things I wanted. Using these words encourage me to carve out time to do the important things. It can be the simplest of things like staying present for a friend, loved ones or myself. Live in the moment and experience it, as it happens.

We spend plenty of time taking care of others, selflessly. I have learned that self-care is a crucial part of self-love. Loving yourself is a key to wellness, it promotes internal balance which directly affects our mind and body. Whether you are a well-known actress in the entertainment world, mother of two working in the corporate world or a single gal taking odd jobs to make ends meet. Schedule your yoga, meditation, a run in the park, regular exercise, bubble bath, alone time, time with girlfriends, anything to help decompress or give you relief should be added to your weekly agenda. YOU are entitled to quality time that promotes self-care, it is essential for you to function at optimal capacity.

We are bound by our experiences, it’s how we learn from one another. I am thankful to Nathalie for sharing how she cares for her well being. Hopefully, this story will inspire to plan some of your own self-care.

Protected content. 2020 awakened-woman.com

Empowerment Series: Canadian Recording Artist, Alexa Ray Shares with AW how She Became Fearless

Canadian beauty, Alexa Ray‘s new song Fearless describes the internal struggle of a woman fighting to be her true self. It is about the plight of her fears, insecurities, and darkness pushing their way out into the light. Essentially, a story of a woman being brave in the face of it all. A powerful message, especially at this time when we’re confronting so much uncertainty, as a result of some of our worst fears come true.

The first time I listened to Fearless, I knew it was something special. The hypnotic music accompanied by the artist’s empowering voice and lyrics was meshed together to create a sound that has the ability to draw listeners into a trance. This song is a reminder of the power songs have to fuel our spirit. I was elated to have the chance to interview Alexa to ask her about the inspiration for this song.

What does the word fearless mean to you? It means “No Fear” which I have tattoo’d, as a reminder for me to stay fearless. I am not always fearless, have to work at it. We all experience fear but cannot allow it to stop us from living life. I always struggled to find myself. I began my career in opera where the craft is very structured. I switched to this more modern genre of music I do today, it was a scary transition. The two are very different which made me feel vulnerable but I had to try. When you think of someone who is fearless, you imagine a person who has conquered their fears but it’s never a truly a finished state. In our minds, we’ll always be afraid of something. The word is a constant prompt to have courage in everyday life in the smallest ways. We are all working to create a better version of ourselves.

What challenge have you faced in your life that demanded you to be fearless? Focusing on becoming my authentic self has required me to bold. I was bullied as a child, growing up I always wanted to say and do everything the right way. The challenge of exposing myself to criticism, if I didn’t do things correctly created inner conflict. As I got older, I realized the importance of being the real me in every regard. I knew that I had to embrace myself and get back to being who I was at the core. The task forced me to own my story. Hopefully, my journey inspires others to be themselves, too.

My favorite verse of the song is “Stare my demons in the eye. Spread my wings and then I’ll fly. To brand new heights.” Confronting our ghosts or fears, looking at them dead in the eye is one of the scariest things we can do in our lives, not once but over and over. What has helped you during moments in life when you were afraid but knew if you did not take action, it would hinder your growth? Music is my therapy, I began writing about 2 or 3 years ago. I hit an emotional rock bottom, a dark time in my life. Writing music was the way to healing. It helped me get everything off my chest. The outlet carved my path to a purge, releasing the burden. My album “From the Ashes” is a work to uplift and raise spirits, it’s where it all began to change for good.

Often times, women tread lightly during their journey for fear of ruffling feathers, shame or retaliation. In our personal lives and careers, we have a general tendency to back away from situations we are afraid of. Whether it’s voicing an opinion, expressing unhappiness at home or work. Sharing our needs, speaking out for what we want can cause immense distress. Did you write the song “Fearless” as a result of overcoming your own moment of trepidation? Can you tell us what inspired you to write a song about being emboldened? The song is really inspired by society’s hypocrisy. We are told to be strong, go after our goals and dreams but if we act with authority we are labeled a bitch. If we are too direct, we can be accused of being overly aggressive. Often times, it is blamed on Premenstrual Syndrome – the hormones. Meanwhile, men can take the same action and be perceived as “He knows what he wants.” What a double standard that is! Women are told to stay in the mainstream, be different, not too political, soft, bold, fit in a box but society cannot make up its mind. The song comes from frustration of not being able to make everyone happy. I arrived at a point where I decided to be fearless and just be me.

What advice can you offer women scared to show their true self? Ask yourself why would you want to be anyone else that isn’t you? Who else is more amazing and original than you? I have always been a people pleaser but I got tired of trying to meet everyone’s expectation of who I should be. Each time I did it, I lost a piece of myself. It starts eating away at you when you try to be everything to everyone. I started writing music to share the stories from my heart and experiences. At one time or other we’ve all have felt this way. I want women to know there is nothing more fearless than staying true to who they are. Never forget it.

It is important to end interviews with a positive message. Do you have a quote or mantra that you use to help you when you are not feeling fearless? When I was 16 years old, my mentor, Sylvia Rugger shared a quote that inspires me daily. “A ship is safe in a harbor but that’s not what ships are meant for.” Ships encounter stormy weather, there is constant threat that cannot be controlled but they’re meant to be in those challenging waters. Ships are made for it. Embrace all that life has to offer, good and bad because you are made to withstands storms, too. Life does not stand still, stay fearless.

We all encounter some kind of fear. It can be like a poison that paralyzes you to the point of producing inertia. Have you thought about all the things you would like to do but are afraid? This mighty emotion is real and disabling to anyone that gives into it. You cannot thrive in fear that stops you from living your truth. If you do, you will never find genuine happiness. Life really starts when fear ends.

Alexa Ray’s, Fearless can be found on i-Tunes and Spotify, it’s definitely worth a download!

Protected content. 2020 awakened-woman.com

One Big Way to Help During National Suicide Prevention Week

Sadness is a powerful emotion, it is capable of crippling its victims to the point of immobility. If you, or someone you know has felt overwhelming despair after loss of any kind – depressive episode, defeat or disappointment then you understand the deep impact it can have on a life. It is heartbreaking when hopelessness takes over the spirit.

I recently received devastating news of an old friend who committed suicide. It’s difficult to imagine someone in so much pain they would end their life to escape it. Unfortunately, suicides happen far too often, even one is too many. In 2018, the CDC reported 48,000 cases of suicide, becoming the tenth leading cause of death in the US. There is concern that the pandemic has worsened the problem, as men and women spend more time alone, social distance and experience extreme distress. These factors are certainly having an impact on individuals’ mental and emotional health at an alarming rate.

Today is World Suicide Prevention day, a time to spread awareness. During these crazy moments of uncertainty, it is challenging to stay focused but also important to recognize when people are showing behavior conducive to creating a tragic storm. One of the best ways to help others is to pay attention to the signs that can manifest around you. Remaining alert to possible trouble ahead may save a life. Some noticeable signs include:

Voicing hopelessness, a void in life, humiliation or culpabilitySelf-alienation, retreat from others, limiting social interactionsExpressing feelings of worthlessness or no reason for living

Sometimes, less evident signs creep up but may also be cause for concern such as sleep deprivation, change in behavior that is uncharacteristic or menacing, showing indifference to life or shutting down emotionally. Observing a combination of these symptoms should call on some type of action.

If a situation is urgent, leaving you to feel an individual is a threat to themselves – call emergency assistance, dial 911 to get immediate help. Otherwise, if you have suspicions he or she is experiencing thoughts of suicide, show compassion. Make an effort to really listen, at end of day, people just want to be seen. Suggest the person talk to a therapist or seek some type of medical professional. Calling the prevention line for confidential help, speaking to a religious counselor or someone close to them is also encouraged.

Human beings want to be acknowledged and know someone cares. It can be difficult to see through the filters we use to hide our true self but having one person to recognize the pain is meaningful, possibly life saving in cases. It can be the one of the most significant acts of human kindness you take on for a fellow human being.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 800-273-8255

Protected content. 2020 awakened-woman.com