David Andrew Jaffe's Blog, page 17

A New Blog for a New World

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This blog has been a crazy ride. For a ton of years now, I’ve been putting out weekly or almost weekly content. Sometimes folk are reading and responding. Sometimes the crickets are deafening. But it’s always been fun. And it’s always an important way for me to keep myself thinking and active. And the catharsis is real!

And I’m not going anywhere. Not anytime soon.

But I do need a quasi-break.

We were on a break?

No, it’s not a real break, since I’ll still be working all the time to make my blog a great and exciting thing. And it won’t be long until I’m back out there dazzling anyone who’s listening to my words and my hopefully insightful comments. But a few things are happening at once that have made me realize I need to take a quick step back and reevaluate ever so slightly.

First thing, my birthday is coming up. Birthdays are getting progressively stranger for me with each passing year. Each time I start wondering what I could have done that is no longer in my grasp. I contemplate what’s hurting on my body that didn’t before. I think about dreams and aspirations that, with an extremely heavy heart, I might need to give up on.

And I’m also always wondering about what I’m already doing that I could be doing better. And the blog is definitely one of them. Some might remember that when I started, I didn’t even have my own domain. I used a free platform with a big, clunky URL up until the day I magically transformed into Jaffe World. Well, the time has come to rebrand once again. To take things to another level.

Time for a Rebrand

It’s something I’ve wanted to do for a long time, but I’ve always been better at moving forward than reviewing what’s already been done. I’m the kind of guy who loves learning new foreign words… but can’t stand reviewing any of them. And that same guy has to force himself to stop writing in order to be able to do other things, things I don’t yet know how to do. Things way outside my comfort zone and skill level.

These things might take me a week. These things might take me a month. Although I have to admit, if they take any longer than that, I might go crazy. Because I need this! Writing is how I process the world.

I understand that there is a handful of folk out there who enjoy my words and my world. And, of course, I’d be ecstatic if my posts had a giant reach and impact. But even without that, I plod on forward. Because writing is a part of my soul and it helps keep me grounded. It helps me to be a better version of myself.

So this is by no means a farewell. This isn’t even a quick goodbye. All it is is a break that’ll be over in the blink of an eye. And when we emerge on the other side of said blink, everyone will be better off for it.

A Drip Older on the Other Side

But I won’t just be a drip older when I pop up on the other side of my break. I will have emerged on the other side of hopefully a wildly successful surgery.

Some might recall that not too long ago I came out walking tall on the other side of a vicious sciatica that tormented me for a couple of years. But once things started cooling down, we realized I had a handful of other health concerns that were being neglected. I literally couldn’t sit down for more than a few minutes before writhing in pain. The sciatica was the immediate concern. But once it passed, it was time to pursue other avenues.

My wife, God bless her, hasn’t slept so well in the last few years. No, it’s not because being a step-mom is super complicated (it is!), but because her wacky husband snores like a beast. But nothing’s ever simple. This new adventure has had me in the doctor’s office multiple times, doing a sleep study, and trying anything anyone would suggest. The insane process is culminating with a surgery, one that I’ve been wanting to get for over twenty years.

Things will definitely be different when I wake from the procedure, and finish the recovery period… but I still might snore. We have no idea what the results will be, but our fingers are very crossed, since there’s literally nowhere else to go from here.

The Next Time You See Me

So next time followers of Jaffe World will hear from me I’ll have been under the knife for the first time in my life. I should be breathing better than I ever have before. And my wife and I and any unfortunate soul who’s within earshot will be sleeping better than ever before.

One month from now will be a brave new world for me. It’s only fitting that my new world will have a fresh-looking blog.

So thus my break begins, my first one in over three years. I will emerge on the other side, 44 years old, with an unknown breathing status, and a mysterious new look to my blog. I don’t know how things are going to turn out. I don’t normally do these things. Breaks are not within my nature. But hey, the world’s a different place now.

Change is in the Air

When I started this blog, I thought I would never get married again. But look where we are now. Change is possible. And change is in the air.

I had a lot of expectations for this past year of my life. Sadly, most of them were not met. Things don’t always go the way we plan. And every once in a while, a pandemic pops into the picture and steps all over our ability to make things go the way we want.

I thrive on order and structure. I like to know what my day and my week are going to look like. And I get thrown off when things completely derail my plans. But I live in a world of chaos. I live in a world in which tomorrow could look drastically different from today, and there’s nothing I or anyone could do about it. So for just a brief moment, I’m going to embrace the chaos. I’m going to stop what I’m doing, gather up my thoughts, and see what comes out when all the smoke clears.

It’s been fun.

See you on the other side!

***

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Pride Parade and a Painful Confession

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This might be the single hardest post I’ve ever written. I understand that it may come with consequences, many of which I really don’t want. Probably some I haven’t even thought of.

But sometimes something weighs on your conscience long enough and heavy enough that the time comes when purging is absolutely necessary.

My Embarrassing Confession

I have a confession, a really embarrassing confession.

About twenty years ago a friend of mine and I protested the gay pride parade in Jerusalem. We were peaceful. And we were not loud. We did have signs that were designed to get a rise out of people, but for the most part our presence was inconsequential for the overall event.

So why am I so embarrassed?

I’m embarrassed because this is very much not who I am. Protesting that parade goes against just about everything I stand for.

And even though the likelihood that someone would ever find out that I was there, and even though my impact was minuscule at best, I’d rather people I care about hear this from me rather than find out another way. And there are more than a few of those among my friends and family who would be understandably and justifiably quite upset at what I did that day.

Me, Twenty Years Later

Where do I stand today?

I support every human being’s right to be whoever they are. I am vehemently opposed to any government interfering with the intimate lives of its citizens. And I wish health and happiness upon all good people.

And I think those who wish to shower the world with angry and hateful viewpoints are doing nothing to make the world a better place for all of us. I do support their right to free speech. But I also very much support my right to ignore everything they have to say.

I have no interest in being angry. I have no interest in spending my time in opposition to anything. I’d rather live my life fighting for the things that are important to me. Living for something, rather than living against something.

The Parade… in Jerusalem

I do believe that even the younger me intuitively knew I was doing something wrong that day. Even then I would explain that I had no issue with homosexuality or the parade in general. I just thought it was out of place in Jerusalem. Especially considering certain behaviors that happen at the parade.

And to some extent, I still feel the slightest hint of that. I mean, whenever I see someone litter in Jerusalem I want to grab them and shake them. If you really understood what Jerusalem was–its significance and history–you would shudder before letting a piece of trash sully its floors. So, if someone parades through that same place wearing assless leather pants, I can’t help but feeling something similar. It’s just not respectful to what Jerusalem is.

Nevertheless, I actually think the littering is so much worse. If I don’t want to see something, I don’t have to be there. But wanton littering damages the essence of the city. It makes it grotesque, all year round, and there is no escape. And it comes with a level of disregard for the nature of Jerusalem I simply cannot understand.

A Parade of Emotions

A once-a-year parade, filled mostly with people just feeling camaraderie with others, standing together in peace and solidarity, is a beautiful thing. And that’s so, even if it contains elements some might find objectionable.

But believe me, the aforementioned pants offend me worlds less than someone in Jerusalem who throws a rock at a car on Shabbat. And these are people who are supposedly upholding the sanctity of the city!

If you don’t like the parade, you don’t need to go. In fact, you’re better off not being there. For everyone’s sake. The world doesn’t benefit from your anger and intolerance.

Angry and Intolerant

But I was angry and intolerant. I fell into a trap of the culture I was immersed in. And at the time, I thought I was standing on the right side of history. I thought what I was doing was positive and noble. And that any of the negative feelings the experience produced in me were far outweighed by the good I was attempting to accomplish.

But I was seriously wrong. And I don’t know how to undo what I did. I don’t know if my presence did any damage. Does there exist someone in this world who is less proud of who they are because I stood in front of them and said I didn’t like what they were doing?

It could be my actions that day were inconsequential and forgotten. But if I did even an iota of damage, that will always be a part of me, even without knowing. And I will never forget.

Kudos

It should be noted: Even way back when, the parade organizers won that little battle. I was told by people that my friend and I were featured in photos on their website. However, our signs were obstructed, so it looked like we were parade participants. A happy couple coming to join in the celebration.

And good on them! Kudos. We were bested, and it was done comically and tastefully.

The Blame is Mine Alone

Listen, when all the smoke clears, I know I was young and thus prone to dumb mistakes. And of course I can blame what I did on the indoctrination of those around me. But ultimately the responsibility for my actions, past or present, lies solely on me. I refuse to pass any blame on to anyone else.

But the worst part for me is that I don’t know who to apologize to exactly. I can grab a friend, but can they really forgive me on behalf of an entire community? And I wouldn’t be brazen enough to even do that. Frankly, I’m not sure what I would do if were them in that moment. What if I really did hurt someone? Do I even deserve forgiveness?

But I’m trying to do my part. I’m trying to be a better version of myself. And that’s not possible without acknowledging the many, many mistakes I’ve made, and working hard to never be that person again.

So for whatever it’s worth, I apologize to the gay community, to my friends and family, and to the world at large. I’m not that person anymore. I hope we can move forward together. As friends.

***

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Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Are the Police Funny?

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The Jaffe family television adventures ultimately led to the insanely comedic police adventures of Jaffe family television adventures ultimately led to the insanely comedic adventures of Brooklyn-99. I came in very skeptical. It's been a very long time since I've really enjoyed and appreciated a comedy. So I was pleasantly surprised to find myself not only laughing a lot, but repeatedly laughing out loud. There was even one scene recently in which I started laughing so hard, we needed to pause the show for more than five minutes until I was able to get control of myself.

I wasn't sad or surprised to see that season eight would be the shows final one. There are many reasons to end a show. Bad ratings. One of the primary actors was leaving. The writers decided it was the right time, often due to fear the show would become stale and unfunny.

I respect the decision to end a show before things get bad. I'll never forget when Arrested Development made that decision. They left us with three seasons of comedy gold, untainted by writers who had all but given up on the art of creating quality television.

That is, of course, until they decided to shoot for a money grab and created an unwatchable, atrocious fourth season. I honestly couldn't make it through more than a few episodes before angrily giving up.

But curiosity got the best of me, and I decided to check what the deal was with everyone's favorite hysterical New York-based crime fighting team. And I was appalled at what I found.

Essentially, the show was going off the air because their comedic antics placed police officers in a positive light. You see, the year is 2021. The narrative we are all supposed to accept, blindly, without any thought or consideration, is that all cops are bad. You see, there are police officers who do terrible things. No one is denying that. But because of them, we must accept full-scale condemnation of every police force across the Unites States of America, and every officer who serves in them.

And therefore, any attempt to make the police look kind or funny or likable or interesting is seen as a breach of conduct. And we no longer get to laugh at this tremendous comedy. That would be far too un-woke of us.

What would I do if were in their shoes? I suppose I could pander to the masses, get myself in good grace with those who would wish me harm for the crime of making people laugh alongside the police.

But what more could the show possibly do? There are seven main characters (throughout the bulk of the show). Two are black, two are Hispanic, one is gay, and one is bisexual. The two with the highest rank are the black ones, and the one on top is also homosexual. The show has dedicated entire episodes to such harrowing modern topics as the difficulty of coming out to one's very traditional parents, police bias against people of color, the need for prison reform, and rampant sexual harassment in the workplace.

Brooklyn 99 have been nothing but do the right thing since day one, repeatedly putting humor to the side in order to make an important point for the greater good. And what's the reward for that? Getting cancelled anyway, since some can't handle the fact that some might walk away from a silly sitcom not loathing the police and all they stand for.

How long can this go on for? How long can we continue biting ourselves in the ass? Will the culture we are currently enduring ever feel like it's had enough, or will it not stop until all joy and humor has been sucked out of every aspect of all our lives?

I get it, there are corrupt cops. There are those who should have their badges taken from them with a vengenace, and others who should be rotting in prison. And yet I'd still call them when I need their help and I would treat them with the utmost respect when they arrived, like I do for all people. And if they do in fact help, I will sing their praise for what they did for me.

Why? Because the profession is only as bad as humanity is bad. I was a teacher for a decade. Some teachers are absolute garbage, doing everything from a poor job educating students to sometimes even causing permanent damage. Does that mean I should condemn the profession and all who practice it? Of course not. Humanity is riddled with its lowest forms, and they will worm their way into every field, sadly some more dangerous than others. But to then belittle the entire profession does nothing but discourage the good among us from uplifting those fields.

And to attack a sitcom because it is about the police, thus robbing us of many more years of laughter, that is everywhere from upsetting to downright tragic. We need to laugh. In a world of disease and building collapses and global conflicts, I want to be able to relax at the end of the evening and just laugh a little. And someone's misguided sense of justice is taking that away from me.

I don't know how we got here, but we're definitely here. We have somehow entered a world in which it is virtuous to search through each and every word a person makes, past or present, in order to prove that not only have they done something wrong, but that you are better than them.

Humanity was never meant to be put under such a fine microscope, and doing so makes us worse versions of ourselves. It makes us weigh everything we say or do to the point where we cannot open our mouths without fear of repercussions. It makes us terrified of taking risks. And a life without taking risks is stagnant and dull.

We need to stop condemning without thinking. We need to stop looking for what's wrong in everything around us and start seeing the sparks of greatness. And for God's sake, we need to calm the hell down and laugh a little.

***

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" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Brooklyn Nine-Nine. I came in very skeptical. It’s been a long time since I’ve really enjoyed and appreciated a comedy. So I was pleasantly surprised to find myself not only laughing a lot, but repeatedly laughing out loud. There was even one scene recently in which I started laughing so hard, we needed to pause the show for more than five minutes until I was able to get control of myself.

I wasn’t sad or surprised to see that season eight would be the show’s final one. There are many reasons to end a show. Bad ratings. One of the primary actors was leaving. The writers decided it was the right time, often due to fear the show would become stale and unfunny.

The Fall of Arrested Development

I respect the decision to end a show before things get bad. I’ll never forget when Arrested Development made that decision. They left us with three seasons of comedy gold, untainted by writers who had all but given up on the art of creating quality television.

That is until, of course, they decided to shoot for a money grab and created an unwatchable, atrocious fourth season. I honestly couldn’t make it through more than a few episodes before angrily giving up.

Why Was Brooklyn Nine-Nine Cancelled?

But curiosity got the best of me, and I decided to check what the deal was with everyone’s favorite hysterical New York-based crime-fighting team. And I was appalled at what I found.

Essentially, the show was going off the air because their comedic antics placed police officers in a positive light. You see, the year is 2021. The narrative we are all supposed to accept, blindly, without any thought or consideration, is that all cops are bad. You see, there are police officers who do terrible things. No one is denying that. But because of them, we must accept full-scale condemnation of every police force across the Unites States of America, and every officer who serves in them.

And therefore, any attempt to make the police look kind or funny or likable or interesting is seen as a breach of conduct. And we no longer get to laugh at this tremendous comedy. That would be far too un-woke of us.

The Woke Police

What would I do if I were in their shoes? I suppose I could pander to the masses, get myself in good grace with those who would wish me harm for the crime of making people laugh alongside the police.

But what more could the show possibly do? There are seven main characters (throughout the bulk of the show). Two are black, two are Hispanic, one is gay, and one is bisexual. The two with the highest ranks are the black ones, and the one on top is also homosexual. The show has dedicated entire episodes to such harrowing modern topics as the difficulty of coming out to one’s very traditional parents, police bias against people of color, the need for prison reform, the terrifying reality of active shooter incidents, and rampant sexual harassment in the workplace.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine has done nothing but the right thing since day one, repeatedly putting humor to the side in order to make an important point for the greater good. And what’s the reward for that? Getting cancelled anyway, since some people can’t handle the fact that someone might walk away from a silly sitcom not loathing the police and all they stand for.

When Will This End?

How long can this go on for? How long can we continue biting ourselves in the ass? Will the culture we are currently enduring ever feel like it’s had enough, or will it not stop until all joy and humor has been sucked out of every aspect of all our lives?

I get it, there are corrupt cops. There are those who should have their badges taken from them with a vengenace, and others who should be rotting in prison. And yet I’d still call the police when I need their help and I would treat them with the utmost respect when they arrived, like I do for all people. And if they do in fact help, I will sing their praise for what they did for me.

Will the culture we are currently enduring ever feel like it's had enough, or will it not stop until all joy and humor has been sucked out of every aspect of all our lives?
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Why? Because the profession is only as bad as humanity is bad. I was a teacher for a decade. Some teachers are absolute garbage, doing everything from a poor job educating students to sometimes even causing permanent damage. Does that mean I should condemn the profession and all who practice it? Of course not. Humanity is riddled with its lowest forms, and they will worm their way into every field, sadly some more dangerous than others. But to then belittle the entire profession does nothing but discourage the good among us from uplifting those fields.

And to attack a sitcom because it is about the police, thus robbing us of many more years of laughter, that is everywhere from upsetting to downright tragic. We need to laugh. In a world of disease and building collapses and global conflicts, I want to be able to relax at the end of the evening and just giggle a little. And someone’s misguided sense of justice is taking that away from me.

We Need Calm and Laughter

I don’t know how we got here, but we’re definitely here. We have somehow entered a world in which it is virtuous to search through each and every word a person makes, past or present, in order to prove that not only have they done something wrong, but that you are better than they are.

Humanity was never meant to be put under such a fine microscope, and doing so makes us worse versions of ourselves. It makes us weigh everything we say or do to the point where we cannot open our mouths without fear of repercussions. It makes us terrified of taking risks. And a life without taking risks is stagnant and dull.

A life without taking risks is stagnant and dull.
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We need to stop condemning without thinking. We need to stop looking for what’s wrong in everything around us and start seeing the sparks of greatness. And for God’s sake, we need to calm the hell down and laugh a little.

***

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All About the Money, Never About What Matters

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OK, I get it. We all need to make money. And yes, technically continuing education is vitally important.

But a scam’s a scam.

And I’d like to speak out about one that I think is really common lately.

I’ll give an example of how things might work.

How to Become a Trainer

Many years ago I became a certified personal trainer. It was a whole lot of studying and ultimately a big fat test and a few other things I needed to complete in order to get my very exciting piece of paper.

Now, I learned a lot of things about the industry from this experience. For one, being a personal trainer is not about your fitness level or knowledge. It’s not about how well you can train another person.

Nope. It’s about learning specific course materials in order to take and pass a test. And someone can absolutely be a phenomenal trainer without taking a test. And another person can be an abysmal trainer, despite acing this test.

But our paper-obsessed world cannot fathom a reality in which someone can do anything without some type of degree or certification “proving” ability.

The Certification Slippery Slope

And that’s where the slippery slope begins.

If our world requires certification, then those who give out these certifications have us trapped. They can charge what they want and do everything in their power to keep those charges coming.

My personal trainer certification came with continuing education requirements. And, of course, these require fees. And they require more coursework, which, of course, is easiest if done through the same body that provided the certification in the first place.

And the endless loop begins. If you want anyone to take you seriously, you need to pay a school or organization money, which you will then be doing regularly for the rest of your life.

What About Professional Development?

Now, I’m not opposed to professional development or continuing education or whatever you wish to call it. In fact, I would hope that any personal trainer worth his weight would constantly be growing and learning. There’s endless knowledge to be gained. You just need to grab an article or watch a video or try something new at the gym. This should be obvious.

But the courses out there aren’t designed to expand our minds and capabilities.

They’re designed to keep the system going. You will learn some inane and/or pointless course material, regurgitate whatever blah blah you “learned” in some multiple-choice exam, pay some exaggerated fee, and this will keep the certification Gods fed for another 2-3 years before they come knocking at your door telling you you need to do it all over again.

And we’ve all come to accept this system as somehow the way things should be done.

How did we get here?

I have so many questions about systems like this.

First and foremost, when did the world become so paper-centric? Expertise means nothing, so long as you don’t have the supposed credentials to back things up. And credentials are treated with a deity-like status. People would rather hire an inexperienced dolt from Harvard than a brilliant thinker who dropped out of high school.

In fact, there’s an entire TV show (Suits) based around this notion. Gosh, someone’s practicing law who knows everything other lawyers do, and practices just as well as they do. What do we call a person like that without the piece of paper on the wall? A fraud. A criminal. God forbid anyone should have abilities without some stodgy professors and an expensive printer telling us their worth!

You’d think a show like that would feel irrelevant in our generation, where all the world’s knowledge is available with just a few keystrokes. I mean, for certain there’s what to learn from doing some personal trainer courses. But any motivated person can learn more with a pair of dumbbells, an active internet connection, and the ability to type “YouTube“.

Continue Shovelling Money

And yet we knowingly continue to shovel money into these companies every day. We’ve attached a certain level of respect and authority to their names and what they represent. All this despite the fact that I think deep down we know it’s all part of some giant game. And as long as we keep playing, they keep making money and holding us all at their mercy.

But I think the time has come to finally let our reason and knowledge stand tall in the face of those who wish to take our hard-earned money without providing true value. Without providing a service we could have received by reading a book and with a little bit of trial and error. Those of us who seek excellence in everything we do deserve better than this. Much better.

But the process of getting there is likely to be long and hard. Why? Because the world loves to hold on to old ideas, to clasp onto them for dear life without any consideration that maybe letting go could be beneficial. It’s why we still think eggs are problematic. It’s why people avoiding eating fat. And it’s why folk are still walking around outside with a mask on in locations where just about everyone is vaccinated.

Empirical Success

Someone once told us that in order to succeed we needed these pieces of paper. And that the pieces of paper had expiration dates. And letting go of this nonsense is completely against our nature.

However, not abandoning such inane ideas leads to hours upon hours of wasted time. It leads to money tossed at companies that couldn’t care less whether or not we succeed professionally. Or whether or not we grow toward excellence in our fields. And it leads to us being perpetually taken advantage of with no end in sight.

We need a world in which we can constantly get better at what we do, without throwing money at the undeserving. We need systems in which success is not measured by how many trees needed to die so our walls look impressive, but rather success is measured by our drive, knowledge, and empirical evidence that we can do our roles superbly.

Anything less is not the world I want my kids growing up in.

***

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Tales of a Customer Support Hero

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My job title and description are conversation stoppers. I tell people what I do, and the listener fights hard to hold back a yawn and they rush to change the subject as quickly as possible.

Yeah, I get it. Customer support isn’t exciting. They make enthralling TV shows and movies about cops and soldiers. They’ve even made powerful screen adaptations of teachers, lawyers, and tech folk. But I have yet to find the movie glorifying the support person.

Picture it right now: SUPPORT. In a world where people are throwing their laptops against the wall and jumping out of office windows in frustration, only one man can stand in between the company and absolute tragedy. The support guy will be there for all your tech needs. The customer calls and Captain Support says, “I have a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career, skills that make me a dream for people like you… now restart your computer!”

Not All Customer Support is the Same

It’s not that I don’t appreciate the importance of my role. I like what I do. And every once in a while I walk away from a shift feeling really good about what I did that day. I stopped a piece of garbage spammer from sending out thousands of phishing emails. I helped a person make their email marketing campaign look awesome. I solved someone’s problem that had been nagging them for days, and now they’re showering me with thanks and praise.

Yeah, it’s all good. And I’m proud of those moments. But nothing made me feel happier about what I do then contrasting it to a support experience I had recently. Because not all support people are built the same, and not all companies have the same attitude.

Support: From the Other Side of the Computer

I have a specific certification and it needs to get renewed every three years. Whether or not these types of certifications are a big fat scam is a story for another time. (But for the short version: Yes. They are.)

The process to renew the certification involved purchasing a course, completing the course, and taking all of its quizzes by a certain date. Now a couple of facts:

I don’t have the kind of memory to recall the exact date I completed the courses six years ago. I don’t even remember what I had for breakfast yesterday!The course requirements were very unclear. In order to complete it, you needed to get 100% on all five quizzes. It’s a ridiculous expectation, and was not communicated very well at all.

I was working through the material and taking the quizzes for a few months. And when I thought I might be nearing the deadline, I tried to figure out the exact requirements. A page in my account indicated that I had another month, which was great. I was able to relax a little. But then I got an email out of nowhere saying my deadline was about to arrive. I didn’t know why the system indicated another month, but I knew I now needed to get into high gear. And I did. I worked my butt off, finished everything. 100% on all five quizzes…

And only four days after the deadline…

Customer Support the Wrong Way

I contacted them to explain what happened, and I was shocked by the response.

They weren’t having any of it. I kept on arguing that the miscommunication was partially their fault. I had been a customer of theirs for six years, paid for three certifications and two renewal courses. And they were about to dump me. Over four days!

I went back and forth with their customer support for several days. I won’t name the company, since ultimately they caved and let me have the certification renewal. But the stress and the struggle of those days was outrageous and completely unnecessary. They had everything to gain from being reasonable, and everything to lose by taking their hardline stance.

Yet they were proud of it. They actually requested I not let anyone know about how they ultimately behaved leniently toward me!

The Heart is Customer Support

And that’s when it hit me.

The customer support agent is the heart of the world.

We stand in between the customer and the company. People will always need stuff, whether it be goods or services. And they will always need help. And how that help is provided can mean the difference between someone’s good day and their God-awful, miserable day.

I still remember shouting at Dell support people for hours once, and never making an iota of progress with my complaint.

The customer support agent is the heart of the world.
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The Happy Customer

But I lucked out. I work for a company that actually wants the customers to walk away happy. A company that feels the customers are the reason we do what we do. And every single one, with absolutely no exception, should walk away from their support email with a smile on their face.

And that’s what I spend my day doing. People need help, so they turn to the mighty support staff. Maybe their day was going smoothly until they suddenly found themselves locked out of our system, or they lost data, or their page looks all messed up. They’re panicking. They’re freaking out. They fiddle around, but nothing seems to work. And in desperation, they shoot us an email.

And I stand there, in between where they are now and their day potential returning to relative normality. And it’s a choice. Do I work really hard to return their smile? Or do I twiddle my thumbs and push for inane or outdated policies, all for the sake of making sure I’m right and they’re wrong?

Support, Not Bodyguards

Yes, the company I was contacting ultimately made the right decision. And for that, I am grateful.

But they made a dozen wrong decisions before getting there, and they caused me an inordinate amount of unnecessary stress.

They forgot why they were doing what they were doing.

They’re customer support, not company bodyguards.

Support: The Movie

So I get that it’s unlikely there will ever be a feature film about my time in the support trenches, Liam Neeson tackling the intimidating role of David Jaffe, support specialist extraordinaire.

But that doesn’t mean I can’t feel a little bit like a tiny hero every single day.

I aim to make dozens of people just a little bit calmer and happier every day of my life.

I’m not wowing new people I meet with war stories. But that doesn’t mean I can’t be proud of what I do.

***

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Marriage, Birthdays, 200 posts… Oh My!

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I love posts about occasions. And I’m excited because I get to combine occasions today!

This is my 200th post. I feel like it was just yesterday I honored my 40th birthday by starting this blog. And now I’ve delighted your minds 200 times. Go me!

But this post is about something so much bigger.

Today is my amazing wife’s birthday, so I get to celebrate 200 posts by writing about my absolutely favorite person.

The Institution of Marriage

For the uninitiated, I had a challenging and lackluster first marriage. I walked away from the lengthy experience with four amazing children… and more than a few scars on my psyche and my emotional wellbeing. And I didn’t want to get married again. I avoided dating. I didn’t trust the institution of marriage.

And I was really wary about introducing a lady into the lives of my children. Hadn’t they been through enough? A divorce, moving countries, switching languages, mother remarrying. I wasn’t about to uproot any more of their life without a really, really good reason.

And then, when I least expected, in walked a really, really good reason.

Chance Encounters and Forever Changes[image error]

I sat next to a girl at a Shabbat meal without a clue in the world that I would end up spending hundreds of Shabbat meals with her. I chit-chatted with a remarkable woman with an uncanny amount of things in common with me, totally unaware that in the relatively near future, we’d eventually chitchat with each other every night before going to bed.

And I brought another person into the lives of my children. I did so slowly and carefully. And I did so terrified of what might happen. I already had one child angrily rejecting a stepparent. And that child was now living with me. And happy, for the first time in quite a while.

How could I risk uprooting the comfortable routine I had sunk into? And how could I possibly risk upending the life my son and I had created? What if he or any of my kids rejected Devorah? It’s a question that plagues me and keeps me up at night.

Best Decision Ever[image error]

But at the same time, it’s not a worry. It’s not even a minor concern.

Why not? Because I did the right thing. For the first time in a very long time, I made a decision that was careful and intelligent. And was 100% right.

I didn’t rely on impulsivity, or exclusively on feelings. Rather, I was able to look across the room at this wonderful, precious person, and with confidence bring her into my life. And my life and the lives of my children are a thousand times better because of our marriage.

And now every day I wake up with a feeling I haven’t felt in ages. I wake up wanting to make another person happy. My every decision contains a spark of wondering whether or not what I’m doing will make my wife’s life better, or will it ultimately lead to our house being filled with more joy.

Dangerous and Scary Feeling[image error]

It’s a dangerous and scary feeling, especially after so many years of not succeeding at those tasks. And eventually realizing that in the state I was in, success was simply not a possibility. If things hadn’t changed, I would have resigned myself to a life without happiness. Forever.

And after you think with that mentality long enough, you can’t just shed it quickly, simply because life is different now. The thoughts and feelings I experienced and felt over and over again for what seemed like forever became a part of me. Like ugly tattoos that might fade a little as the years go by, but the ink still remains behind.

And yet here I am, poking my head, slowly but surely, out of the clouds. Recognizing inch by inch, a little more every single day, that I am worlds apart from the life I once lived.

The Strength for Marriage[image error]

Marriage is complicated. There are more moving parts than anyone alive could possibly understand. And everything you say and do affects everything else.

It’s a lot of work. Hard work. And if you don’t want to put in the time and effort, it’s not a game you should be in.

And I thought I was out. I thought I didn’t have the strength or energy to try this world again. And even if I did, I didn’t think a woman existed for whom all that work was worth it for me. Who out there could possibly pull me out of my rut? Who in this world could make me think the challenges and tribulations of building a life with another person were entirely worth it?

But I was wrong. I was so very wrong.

Life Threw Me a Lucky Break[image error]

And every time I look at my beautiful, amazing, and mega-talented wife, I’m reminded of how wrong I was. Every time I wake up in the morning, and I look to my side, I am reminded that life finally threw me a lucky break. And absolutely nothing will ever be the same again.

It took me a really long time to get here. A lot of people in the world find themselves giving up hope. They’ve waited for so long for whatever to happen in their life, the easiest way to deal with things is to just give up. Throw in the towel. But sometimes the only barrier between us and happiness, between us and getting the results we want and deserve, is just time.

We need to be patient. We need to hold tightly to hope. Because waiting around some mysterious corner is something (or someone) waiting to change your life forever.

Devorah, thank you for waking up this feeling inside of me. Thank you for making me understand that my life’s path was far more complex and interesting than I had given it credit. Thanks for making me realize that happiness was a real possibility. And so was connecting with another person on a level so much stronger than I had come to believe.

I love you so much, my princess.

Happy birthday!

***

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Victim Blaming… or Just Sound Advice?

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Last week I ranted about how I found myself screaming at my phone while listening to a podcast. The whole incident reminded me of a time a few years ago when I found myself yelling at the radio while driving along in my car listening to a discussion about victim blaming.

Ah, how I miss those days. Nowadays I work from home. I’m rarely ever in a car. When I’m in a car, I’m always with someone else, so I’m never just listening to a random talk radio show. They were fun. I got to hear varied perspectives. I had minimal control over the topics I listened to, which is good for my brain. I like the randomness. I like not knowing what’s coming.

And I enjoy talking about topics I could never have imagined talking about. I mean, I once listened to scores of people call in to speak about their irrational fear of clowns. It was so entertaining.

And I miss it.

The Radio and the Boiling Blood

But one time their inane commentary made my blood boil. And I uncharacteristically found myself banging the ceiling of my car wondering how people could be this naive and prone to making mistakes that could really hurt someone.

So what happened?

A major politician was speaking about his daughter in an interview. She had recently gone off to college, and he had some concerns about the experience she was about to have.

He had said that he would caution his daughter to be careful when going to a fraternity party or things like that. Especially one with copious amounts of alcohol being consumed. Men have a strong proclivity toward doing things that might be considered evil, alcohol heavily impairs judgment and the ability to make careful and thoughtful decisions, and he didn’t want his daughter making a foolish error and finding herself in a situation in which one night caused her a lifetime of regret.

Or God forbid, something far worse happened than a simple mistake.

An accusation of Victim Blaming

The folk on the radio mocked the politician’s words as being obviously wrong. And they accused him of victim blaming. And I found myself, alone in my car, yelling at the radio in frustration.

The world is a mighty complicated place. And more than one reality can be true at the same time. What if a young girl goes to a fraternity party and gets so drunk she can barely stand up, and wakes up the next morning realizing she’d been violated by one or even several men at the party? Whose fault was that?

There is a very clear answer: If there is non-consensual intercourse with another person, this is rape. It is illegal, immoral, and disgusting, and those who committed the act should be found and punished severely for their actions.

And the girl deserves immense sympathy for what happened to her. She’s going to need family and friends, lots of love, and probably a hefty amount of therapy.

Responsible Decisions

But that doesn’t change the fact that she could have made more responsible decisions. She chose to go to the party. She chose to plow her system with alcohol. And she chose to be in a setting not surrounded by people she knew and trusted. Absent of any one of those choices, her day would have likely taken a very different path.

And if I were her friend, mentor, or parent, and I knew she might be in that situation and I didn’t at the very minimum warn her what could happen, I’d carry that guilt around with me for the rest of my life.

My Attack. My Fault?

When I was younger, I was attacked by a group of six people. What happened to me was a crime, and it was 100% the fault of those who committed that crime.

It’s been nearly thirty years, and I still fully and completely understand that despite their wrongdoing, I could have made better decisions. I should not have been there that day. I should not have lied to my parents about my whereabouts. I should not have been a 15-year old child filling my body with can after can of crappy beer.

And if I had made more intelligent, responsible decisions that day, I would not have suffered that physical and emotional trauma. And I would not still stare at the scar on my palm that reminds me constantly of what happened that day.

So am I responsible for what happened to me? You can definitely say I share in the collective pool of the elements that came together to make that moment happen. I made a stupid mistake, and suffered as a result of that mistake.

Victim Blaming or Shared Responsibility?

The modern mind points out that I was a victim, and if I share any blame, even the smallest little bit, thus this is in effect “victim blaming”. But that phrase is just another string of words that are supposed to end a conversation without the parties actually considering what has been said.

It’s like when someone says “that’s racist”, and we’re all supposed to just stop talking immediately. Once the R-word was been tossed into the discussion, there’s nothing more to discuss. The one being accused of racism should hang his head in shame and cease and desist immediately from any further words, since they have been thoroughly defeated once their true inner racist tendencies have been revealed.

It’s anti-intellectual. And it’s a lazy way to look at the world.

Victim Blaming… or Sound Advice?

Sounds advice is sound advice, regardless of the implications it might mean toward the imagined future responsibility for the advice someone didn’t heed.

If this politician’s daughter ignores her father and something, God forbid, happens to her, that is tragic. Those who harm her are criminals. And she is 100% a victim.

But that never stopped the advice from being good. They were words that could have saved her massive pain and trauma.

And it’s his duty as a father to do whatever is in his power to keep his children safe, regardless of what some dope on the radio thinks of his efforts.

And if he didn’t because he feared some idiot accusing him of victim blaming, well now he and said idiot share some of the blame if something happens as well.

Sounds advice is sound advice, regardless of the implications it might mean toward the imagined future responsibility for the advice someone didn't heed.
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We Will Never Be Silenced

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They’re trying to silence us!

But it’s so much more complicated than that. Here’s where my thoughts and anger began:

Because I Need2Know

A few years ago I decided I wanted to be a more informed person. I constantly felt like I didn’t know what was going on in the world, and it was bothersome to me.

But that didn’t mean I wanted to start reading the news. First of all, oh my goodness it’s depressing. Second of all, it’s just too damn much. How in the world can you decide when you’ve read or watched enough? There are important events happening all around the world, and layers upon layers of information to unfold. It’s extraordinarily overwhelming, and without some sort of direction, I often chose ignorance over being inundated.

That was until I found the perfect newsletter (and no, they’re not paying me a single cent… unless they want to, of course). Need2Know is sent out five days a week, and has brief and supremely informative blurbs highlighting ten major stories of that day. It’s put together well–dare I say flawlessly–and it even gives me a chuckle here and there. If you want to be informed but don’t want your life made uncomfortable by the misery and abundance that is the daily news, then join the Need2Know party.

Anyhow, they decided to take the platform to the next level, and offer a podcast based directly on the newsletter. It’s currently my favorite podcast. It’s short and to the point, gives a bunch of additional information and commentary on what’s happening in the world, and does a pretty solid job of staying informative without much bias. And even the biases are often tasteful. Or at least done overtly.

Non-Silent Rant

But this post isn’t an advertisement for a fantastic newsletter. It’s a rant about one moment recently on the podcast, a moment in which I found myself screaming into the air while walking home listening the other day.

One of the two hosts, Jill Wagner, happens to be Jewish. And when anti-Semitism is ramping up hard and fast in America, she has a lot of trouble keeping her thoughts, feelings, and fears out of the cast. And you know what? It’s great. It makes it human. And I’m by no means the only one who enjoys when the hosts get emotionally involved in the stories they’re telling. She’s afraid, her fears are founded, and it’s of great benefit to all listeners to hear what she has to say about a subject that inspires passion in her.

But Some Seek Her Silence

The other day when I was listening, she expressed that she didn’t want to speak about the situation in Israel or the insane rise in violence against Jews in the States. Why not? Because multiple people wrote to her and said she should stop. Multiple people said she shouldn’t be discussing the topic because she is biased. And she told us, the listeners, that she heard us loud and clear and would stop discussing these matters. She was willing to be silenced.

And I went insane!

Where else does this garbage happen?

Let’s Silence Everyone!

Imagine the scenario: A black man is talking on a radio program about issues related to race in America. He fears wage inequality, police brutality, and a general racist undertone accompanying the daily routine of people of color. Someone calls in and says black people shouldn’t be the ones discussing such issues. They are too close to the subject matter. They are incapable of looking at the issues objectively and are far too biased to offer an intelligent, coherent commentary on the matters at hand.

What do you think would happen next? The country would be on fire. People would accuse the caller of being a racist. Everyone would encourage the man to continue to speak his mind, and site the call as a further example of racial bias. In fact, many would point out that not only is he qualified to speak out on the subject at hand, but he’s far more qualified than the caller specifically because he’s black.

His race is not what makes him biased or partisan or too close to the matter at hand. It’s what gives him perspective! It’s what connects him to the issue, far beyond just reading something out of a book or seeing some YouTube video on the topic. Many would go so far as to say only people of color should be able to weigh in on such matters, specifically because it’s about them. It’s their issue. It’s their world, not something to be overly pontificated by someone lacking the firsthand knowledge and experience of those who live the life every single day.

Jews Get a Different Logic

But for some twisted reason, many out there think all of this logic is tossed out the window when it involves Jewish people. We’re not insiders, connected historically and emotionally to Israel and violent attacks against Jews. We’re devious enemies seeking to impose upon others our utterly one-sided viewpoints on matters directly related to us.

But you can’t have it both ways!

Unless you’re prepared to tell black people to stop weighing in on black-related issues, or women to stop sharing their thoughts and opinions on any and all matters related to women, you better be able to accept that the Jewish people cannot and will never be silent on matters related to our own people.

Unless you're prepared to tell black people to stop weighing in on black-related issues, or women to stop sharing their thoughts and opinions on any and all matters related to women, you better be able to accept that the Jewish people…
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We Shall Never Be Silenced

So, Jill, when the world gets in your face and tells you they don’t want to hear what you have to say, remember who you are. You are a fantastic journalist with an incredibly enjoyable podcast. And you are a Jew. And no matter what anyone says, you cannot separate who you are from what you do. And should never have to!

Our people has blessed the world with its presence for thousands of years. And we have suffered tremendously. We have seen everything and been through everything, and we have earned the right to weigh in on any topic of our choosing, especially those directly related to our people.

People have tried to silence us in the past. It really did not go well for us. We need to learn from our past. Being silent is dangerous. And speaking our minds is the only way we could ever truly be heard. No one tells us to shut our mouths. And if they do, we need to let them know that silence is never an option.

We will always speak our thoughts.

And we will never be silenced again!

***

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Israel, Conflict, and a Rapidly Changing World

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I came to Israel in 1997, happy and starry-eyed. I was in love with my new surroundings, my new world, from day one.

And merely a year later, the Second Intifada began. The dream took a break. For the next seven years it felt like non-stop stress. Constantly checking the news, never knowing who to trust. And attending way too many funerals.

My transition back to Israel four years ago wasn’t exactly smooth. But the difference in life with a constant threat of terror versus life without that threat was palpable. I arrived back to a different Israel. It almost felt like we were slowly but surely putting the past behind us, and moving toward a happier, calmer future.

But apparently that wasn’t meant to be.

My World is Returning

And I’m feeling what I used to feel in the past again. The stress and fears are returning.

But I’ve woken up to a new reality, one that was inevitable. Yet one that in every generation we hope will change, but never does.

My teenage daughter loves Tik Tok. OK, to me it looks like some corny app where kids do the same stupid dances as each other, and that’s about it. Basically, it’s just another social media site, nothing more, nothing less.

But one time she actually made me see why it’s meaningful to her, and I really understood where she was coming from. And stopped any and all teasing.

She said that Tik Tok was the only place she ever went in which she felt truly safe and comfortable, where she could be herself without being judged.

The Reality is Changing

But recent events robbed her of that. Now her little fake reality is filled with 24/7 criticism of Israel. And it doesn’t take the most critical observer of things over here to realize that the way Israel is portrayed and judged by the world is monstrously biased and inaccurate.

I can go on for pages about the stupidity I read on a daily basis. Everything from portraying the situation as unfair because Israel has a missile defense system, as if any other country throughout the history of the world should feel guilt at its ability to defend itself against an aggressor. Or I can rant about the absurdity of phrases like “disproportionate force”, a concept that only seems to apply to Israel. The notion that any nation would react to missiles landing in their backyards with anything less than the most extreme response is laughably inane.

But it doesn’t matter.

If you agree with me, you’ll nod. You’ll laugh at the craziness. You’ll point out another thirty absurd things you’ve heard in the last 24 hours.

But if you disagree, there’s nothing that will change your mind. You’ve already been convinced by Trevor Noah or some silly meme that you saw. Or the media’s ridiculous presentation of what’s happening. Or worse, you are some diseased idiot who has filled Twitter with things like #hitlerwasright.

You don’t want an intellectual conversation. You don’t want facts. And you have no capacity for some of us living here to tell you what we see on a day-to-day basis.

And so the world is upside down once again.

Can’t Escape the Reality Check

I can’t escape the daily reality check, as the news is filled with horror stories from the Gaza Strip and reports of increased anti-Semitism worldwide. I’m forced once again to know that modernity isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Every time I think for a moment that we are exiting a world of hate and venom, a world of wars and violence, something happens here to remind me that ultimately nothing has changed.

What were they waiting for? Does anyone really think that Hamas is lobbing thousands of rockets in Israel over legal land disputes of just a few families?

Was Hamas waiting until they had a sizable stockpile of weapons? Or until Trump was out of office, fearing he would give Israel the green light to do anything it needed to protect itself? Or maybe they were just holding out for a decent excuse to which they could artificially attach their rage?

An Inevitable Pattern

But the pattern is old. And inevitable.

The conflict has never been resolved. Possibly never will be. And every so often our neighbors will decide they want to express their rage against Israel. And it can take so many forms, everything from rocks to knives to riots to suicide bombers to hapless rocket attacks.

We will then defend our nation… because that’s what you do when you’re under attack. And negotiations will rage all over the world, in a futile attempt to curb the violence. All the meanwhile we will be locked in a public relations war against an enemy with no moral compass, so they are impossible to defeat.

Yes, Hamas launches rockets from residential areas. Why? Do you think it’s because of great real estate prices? No. Because they have no regard for human life. If we don’t respond to their attacks because they are surrounded by civilians, then they get to harm us freely, without concern. If we do respond, we risk injuring or killing non-militants. Thus leaving us looking like an awful nation, no matter what we attempt to do to preserve people’s lives.

And trust me, I really do feel for the lives of those harmed when we defend ourselves. And I understand why ordinary people don’t stand up to terror organizations. The risk is too great. And I have all the sympathy for those who simply can’t fathom a risk that terrifying.

But listen: The simple math begins with Hamas. It all goes back to their disgustingly immoral behavior. Remove that from the equation, and we get to respond without moral implications. They know it, so it’ll never happen.

Logic?

And yet again, I find myself angrily shouting logic in a non-logical atmosphere. This discussion is hardly one that could end with just saying the right words at the right time. More than likely, we will have the conversation for the next several weeks or months. There will be lulls. But we’ll come back again to this, full circle, just like we always do. If not right away, then again in a few years.

And the pain of death, destruction, and fear are all oppressive.

But they’re pain I’ve known before. This is pain I’ve dealt with.

My Children’s Reality

Watching my children wake up to the reality of a world that might hate them simply because of being born Jewish is new to me.

Every parent knows that children are already living in a post-modern reality. They play freely with other children, disregarding race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, wealth, and the countless other differences that create distance between adults.

Biases will form and our biggest hope as caring parents is the biases form as slowly as possible, with minimal damage caused through our own words or actions.

Biases will form and our biggest hope as caring parents is the biases form as slowly as possible, with minimal damage caused through our own words or actions.
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But my children’s world was just thrown into the fire. They are no longer seeing the world with blinders. And they are way too aware of how much hate and anger lurks out there.

I hoped they’d grow up in a world different than the one I’ve been exposed to my whole life and has existed forever.

No such luck.

***

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Meron: Tragic, Horrifying… and Preventable

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I am very reluctant to speak about what happened in Meron just a few weeks ago. I wasn’t there. I didn’t lose anyone in the tragic disaster that occurred.

But I have so many thoughts swimming around in my head, and I just want to get some of them off my chest.

Israel: Must Do At Least Once

There is a short list in my mind of things in Israel everyone should do once. These are things that aren’t necessarily fun or good or able to be appreciated by all people. But they are cultural phenomena. They are events that should be experienced sometimes, not enjoyed yearly. But it’s a shame if you never experience it.

For the longest time, the item right at the top of that list for me was visiting Meron on Lag B’omer. Hundreds of thousands of spirited Jews pouring into this small city for a wild festival with song and bonfires. With nothing but excitement and merriment.

I had dreamt of taking my son with me, not because either of us like crowds or events like this, but because it felt like a right of passage. But I never made it happen.

I used to be upset at myself. I’m sure every year I had an excuse. Yet now I couldn’t be happier that we were quite far from Meron this past Lag B’omer. And I think we’ll be safely far from there for years to come.

My Meron Experience

Myself, I’ve been to Meron twice on that glorious day.

The first time one of my teachers took me there. He thought it was something I just had to witness.

The crowds were like nothing I’d ever experienced before. There was a point where I literally felt like my arm was going to be ripped off, as one crowd was pushing me in one direction and another seemed to be yanking at my arm. Ultimately I lost my teacher in the crowd and never found him again. Not only that, there were hundreds upon hundreds of buses, and I couldn’t find the one that brought me to Meron.

So I ended up hitching a ride back home on a bus with a bunch of perfect strangers.

The experience was… memorable.

But I cannot in good conscience say it was positive.

I am glad I went. I wanted to see what it was like. But for the most part, I would prefer to stick with far smaller crowds and to have a bit more control of my surroundings.

The Invincibility of Crowds

It’s so easy to be in a place like that and feel almost a hint of invincibility. I’m sure among the thousands upon thousands of people in Meron, few felt unsafe. Few felt like something tragic would happen. After all, this is by no means the first time so many people gathered in the area. This is a yearly event. What could possibly go wrong?

The answer?

Everything.

I have no interest in pointing fingers here. People’s lives were lost. Others were injured. Scores of families are mourning their losses. Who am I to claim any understanding of such tragic events? Or for that matter, anything at all?

An Unchecked Community

But I’m furious at an entire community, a community that has gone unchecked for way too long. I used to live within the community, and had nothing but respect and fondness for the people I met and the experiences I had.

And I defended the community’s right to not participate in Israel’s military, which I know is not a very popular opinion at all.

But enough’s enough!

As Israel likely heads toward fifth elections, I point a lot of fingers at the religious parties, who put a stranglehold on the country’s political system, all for their own gain. With zero interest in helping the population at large or doing what’s best for their fellow citizens.

Protests, Covid, and Zero Authority

And I still can’t help but be haunted by the disruptive and inane protests of a few years ago, where they completely upturned Jerusalem’s transportation system. More than once, my son had to walk home from the bus station for over an hour because some idiots thought this is how real change is made. They actually thought they were making a difference. No! What they were doing was creating chaos, pouring gasoline on already hot flames, and transforming would-be supporters into skeptical adversaries.

And what the community did during the height of the Covid pandemic is nothing short of criminal. They behaved as if actions do not have consequences, and endangered the lives of millions of people.

They routinely ignore authority, if that authority is not God or a leader from within their own community. And this continued lack of respect for the rest of the world they live amongst has caused untold damage to way too many people.

What the community did during the height of the Covid pandemic is nothing short of criminal. They behaved as if actions do not have consequences, and endangered the lives of millions of people.
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Horrified… but Not Surprised

I was horrified by what happened in Meron just a few weeks ago.

But I was not surprised.

Who could imagine tragedy happening when hundreds of thousands of aggressive people pile into a very small area, without a care in the world for safety or protocol?

Who? Any thinking adult, that’s who.

They think God will protect them. Why? Because they’re celebrating a minor Jewish holiday. Because they rigorously observe a bunch of rules. Because they spend their time immersed in Torah study.

But that’s not how the world works. And I seriously doubt that a loving, caring God could be pleased with people who behave like this. How could he be pleased with those who disrupt traffic, ruining peoples’ days? How can he find favor in those who ignore safety warnings and further perpetuate the spread of a deadly disease?

And how could one assume he’s watching over crowds of people who shouted at female police officers who came to help the victims of the Meron disaster… because, well, they’re female?

Meron Could Have Been Prevented

No, I’m not saying the incident was a divine punishment. I would never say that about anything. I think saying such things is idiotic speculation at best. Inflammatory rhetoric at worst.

I’m just saying, this didn’t have to happen.

People didn’t have to bury their children.

This all could have been prevented.

And yes, there are people in this world who should be introspective and seeking to change themselves because of what has happened.

***

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