David Andrew Jaffe's Blog, page 15

The Jaffe Family Corona Experience (5 Lessons)

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A couple of weeks ago, I woke up feeling quite crappy. I felt exhausted, cold, achy, and had a whole bunch of other classic symptoms. Now, the year is 2022. So the automatic concern was, of course, Corona. So I took one of those antigen tests, and was delighted to know that even though I was definitely ill, it must have been something else. (Yes, boys and girls, there still remain in the world ailments that aren’t Corona)

A quick Google search told me that I definitely had the flu. I literally had every single possible flu symptom. So I took it easy, and decided to relax and vitamin my way to health for the next several days. It was time for my once-a-year sickness. Never pleasant, but what can you do? It has to happen sometimes.

At the end of the week, my wife took my son to get a PCR test. He felt completely fine, but for whatever reason, his school was requiring everyone to get one. So Devorah thought she might as well test too, so long as she was already there.

And then it happened. It was the evening of January 1st, and the text messages had arrived. My wife and son were Covid positive. The household was in quarantine. And after two years of avoiding this bastard of a disease, we were in the mix too. I got tested the next day, and sure enough, it had hit us all. The Jaffe household Corona quarantine experience had begun!

It was long and dull, and most certainly a learning experience. Here are five things I learned during my recent Corona Quarantine Extravaganza:

1) Everyone’s going to get this thing

Trying to avoid this new variant is basically impossible. And I’m not sure if it’s all that bad a thing.

I don’t get sick a lot. Maybe once a year I’ll get a little cold. I seem to have a strong immune system, and I take good care of myself.

But sick is sick. It’s fairly miserable. Immobilizing. And no one would want to feel this way.

However, this glorified bad cold is not worth shutting a world down for. I hope and pray that it tears through my whole country and everyone walks away with natural immunity. As crappy as I felt for a few days, I worked the whole time and, for the most part, lived my life. If this is the worst that Omicron can throw at me, I think the time has come to reevaluate how worried the world needs to be.

Protect the vulnerable, to be sure. Drink a lot of water and load up your vitamins. And accept your nasty flu for a few days. Omicron is not the big bad wolf. It’s a nuisance, and we will emerge perfectly fine on the other side of this thing.

2) Antigen tests are absolute garbage

All three of us took antigen tests, and all three of us got negative Corona results. We wouldn’t have even gotten PCR tested if it weren’t for a requirement from my son’s school.

In fact, I’ve almost never heard of a positive antigen test. And I’ve heard absymal statistics about the effectiveness of these things. I can’t help but wonder why they’re so common if they’re absolute trash. My cynical mind automatically tells me it’s a giant money grab. Someone’s making bank off of selling millions of these things.

My even more cynical mind tells me it’s far worse than that. Why have a test out there that’s super common but barely ever accurate? Perhaps it’s so that infected people can wander around thinking they’re perfectly fine? Perhaps someone out there doesn’t really care if everyone gets this thing?

I suppose we’ll never know, at least not anytime soon. But I can definitely say this: If you think you’re ill, but an antigen test says otherwise, I wouldn’t put too much faith in that. Unless, of course, you want to.

Which leads to my next point…

3) Corona’s Collective Cognitive Dissonance

It feels like there’s a collective thought in the air, regardless of where people’s opinions fall, that escaping quarantine is the goal, no matter what that means.

So if you suspect you’re sick, but you want to be sick on your own terms, go get the aforementioned antigen test. Why? Either it will say negative (likely) and you can just go about your business pretending like there’s nothing wrong, or it’ll say positive, and you get to decide for yourself what to do.

And that’s not terribly unreasonable. It’s what we usually do! When you wake up in the morning with the sniffles, you don’t register your symptoms with the government. You don’t make sure the police know your whereabouts. And you don’t isolate yourself from the illogical. If your dog needs to get walked, you go and walk him. Just don’t cough and sneeze in people’s faces.

But we weren’t allowed to walk our dog, and instead a half a dozen friends and family came by to do so. Why? Because we were in the system. We couldn’t risk getting in trouble, or facing societal stigma if people saw us out and about. It doesn’t matter if this thing is not transmitted outdoors. Or if we avoided other people.

No one cares about that anymore.

Well, that is until they do.

And it feels like the tide’s turning. People want to go back to making their own intelligent adult decisions. The way they’re supposed to.

4) There’s no logic whatsoever

I mean, after all, we threw logic out the window a long time ago. Do you know what matters now? The rules. The rules have become the Corona Overlords, regardless of whether or not they make sense.

My wife and son were diagnosed with Corona, so I needed to get tested. The easiest way would be to go to the local drive-through testing station, but I don’t have a license. We wondered if it were OK for my wife to take me, despite the fact that she was technically in quarantine.

So we called the Ministry of Health and they said it was not allowed. It would be better if I took a taxi.

Yes, my wife with whom I live couldn’t be in a closed car with me, where neither of us was a threat to anybody. But instead I should take a cab there and a different one back, and risk infecting both drivers, who would then drive dozens of other people all day long and infect them as well.

No wonder this thing is spreading like crazy!

There’s no room for logic anymore. It’s just about making up new rules all the time, and then doing everything to enforce those rules. Logic be damned!

5) The solution is worse than the problem

Omicorn is spreading like nothing I’ve ever seen before. Yesterday I looked at stats and saw that 50,000 people in Israel received positive PCR tests. That means 1 in every 200 people in the entire country was diagnosed with the illness. In a day! And that’s just one day. And that’s only people who bothered to get a PCR test.

But you know what? Big deal. Hospitalizations have barely increased an iota. Yes, people are coughing a lot and feeling lethargic. It happens. But in the big picture, it’s a mild nuisance. Schools and businesses will get disrupted. But everything will be back on track before we know it, and the uncomfortable feeling of a few days ago will be long forgotten.

But what about our solutions? Lockdowns. Quarantines. Aggressive and inaccurate portrayals of who is safe and who is unsafe. Vaccine mandates. Discrimination. Mask laws. Fines.

At the end of the day, we’re all afraid of some of these measures… but we’re not necessarily afraid of getting a bad cold. Because we’ve been sick before. We’ve gone to work sick. We’ve done our laundry sick. We’ve taken care of our kids sick. Life goes on when we’re not feeling well.

But life stops when we’re restricted from living it. I shouldn’t get daily texts from the police asking about my whereabouts during my quarantine. And I shouldn’t be restricted from walking my dog, outside, not standing near other people. And people shouldn’t have to fear getting a PCR test because of the restrictions the government might then impose on them. But they should get tested! They should be encouraged to do what’s best for their health, not fearful of what happens when they do so.

What I’m saying is, something’s wrong with a system in which society is collectively more afraid of the solution than they are of the problem. It’s not sustainable. It’s time for us to work together, as educated and thoughtful adults, to focus on what’s truly important in this world: Our health, both mental and physical. That doesn’t happen from throwing all logic out the window. That happens when we straighten out our priorities. And we actually work hard to do the right thing.

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The Unimpressive Reliance on Nostalgia

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I recently saw the new Spider-Man movie… and I was completely underwhelmed. (Beware of spoilers!) We’ll call it Spider-Man: Unending Nostalgia.

Now, I like Marvel movies. I think they’re doing an excellent job. They have so many people in the palm of their hands, and they’re providing value. Quite a lot of it, in fact.

And I was very excited about this movie. I love the Spider-Man franchise and I have for a very long time. And I think Tom Holland is a great actor and is doing a bang-up job. This coming from someone who grew up with the Tobey Maguire movies and for the longest time couldn’t fathom anyone else in the role.

Applauding the Inanimate

Now, I’ve never been a big fan of clapping at movies. I don’t really see the point. There’s no one there to feel rewarded by your excitement. And it’s very disruptive to the film. Since the actors obviously cannot hear the applause, they can’t pause and wait for it to stop.

But this time was a complete exaggeration. Every once in a while audiences will have a reason to go nuts. They might even feel a certain level of inspiration to cheer, since something so phenomenal happened, they can’t control themselves. And that’s OK. So long as it’s seldom, and comes from the right place.

But during Spider-Man: No Way Home, the applause were not seldom. It felt like it was every 15 minutes. Why? Because the movie kept introducing characters from the past, or making an allusion to one of the previous films. And every time it would happen, people would go absolutely bananas.

But here’s the problem.

The Problem with Nostalgia

The movie was only OK. Objectively. The dialogues were non-remarkable. The action scenes were chaotic and disappointing. Multiple aspects of the plot ranged from bizarre to inexplicably inane. In short, if you remove all the nostalgia, you have a highly forgettable film.

And that’s really what I want to speak about today. I think TV shows and movies are progressively relying way too much on nostalgia. And it’s extremely unimpressive.

It’s not that I don’t love nostalgia. I most certainly do. In all its forms.

I love sitting around with friends and chatting about the “good ole days”. I love the way certain food, songs, or settings bring me back to a positive moment from many years ago. And I love when TV shows reference other shows or movies that give me positive and happy associations.

But nostalgia is just one aspect of creating a positive experience, and by itself it’s empty and disappointing. Recently Friends did a reunion show. I didn’t watch it. I just wasn’t all that interested. But every report I heard was the same. Vapid, unnecessary money grab. They knew that people loved Friends, and would tune in regardless of whether or not they were putting together an amazing show.

Relying too much on nostalgia is lazy. It’s what you do when you lack creativity and energy, and you just want to make people smile like happy robots, but you don’t want to put in the effort to get them there.

What Have You Done For Me This Season?

I even see TV shows do this when they get to the later seasons. In the earlier seasons, there was character development. Great and intelligent writing. New gimmicks all the time trying to dazzle the viewers and transform them into loyal fans. But then they get to the later seasons, and it’s all recycled trash. The jokes are the same, the characters are doing what they’ve always done, and we’re all way too wrapped up to even notice that it’s happening.

Spider-Man: No Way Home is by no means the only thing I’ve been exposed to recently that seems to be doing this.

We recently watched the third season Titans, possibly one of the dullest television seasons I have ever witnessed. But it’s got Batman and Robin. And other famous superheroes or versions of classic superheroes who people love. How could it not be great? How could people not watch with rapt attention?

How? Fill it with endless dry, lengthy, uninteresting dialogues. Like a badass superhero show is supposed to be!

The problem seems to be inserting itself into everything I’m watching these days, and it’s more than a tad disheartening. We’re in the very late seasons of How I Met Your Mother, and at this point I feel like I’m simply going through the motions, excited to just finish and get the show out of the way. They spent many seasons dazzling us with inventive writing and creative gimmicks. But now we’re just supposed to enjoy recycled plots and humor, and they’re just relying on us already loving to watch the characters. It’s Barney! How could it not be funny?

How? Because if it’s just no longer funny. It doesn’t matter what happened beforehand or how great Neil Patrick Harris is. Give me something new, or punch out and move on. Stop resting on your laurels. There’s no good reason to keep a show going if it’s no longer entertaining.

Well, I guess there is one reason. Good, old-fashioned cash.

Et Tu Cobra Kai?

I’m even sitting terribly disappointed with the fourth season of Cobra Kai, a show I have called the best show currently on TV. A show that should never have been made. And if made, should never have been watchable let alone great. Yet it was amazing! It was so refreshing, comical, and entertaining, with just enough nostalgia to keep my generation beaming.

But what about now? The writing has become crappy. And the show is just hoping to rely on the nostalgia of the third Karate Kid movie. The third! No one cares about third movies of any franchise. And we’re supposed to get excited for the completely banal return of the enchanting Terry Silver. For the overwhelming star power of Thomas Ian Griffith. Sorry, it’s not enough to make a show good. You’re still going to have to do some work.

But you didn’t.

We Deserve Better

So whether it be Spider-Man trying to dazzle us with villains of the past, Barney Stinson trying to make us giggle with the same jokes as two seasons earlier, or Game of Thrones just trying to pretend like everyone will love whatever crap they throw on the screen, simply because the earlier moments were so epic, it’s just not enough. You can’t rely on nostalgia alone to erase bad writing. We deserve better than that.

If you remove the nostalgia and your show can’t stand on its own, you’ve wronged us. We want more!

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2022: Big Goals for a Bright Future

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2022 is off and running. And I am walking into this firestorm with a lot of hope. But a whole lot of reluctance as well.

I’m sick of pretending like things will be normal any day now. I’m sick of just waiting around for the world to stop being such a mess. And I’m ready to make a difference in my life.

But there’s trepidation.

Last year I decided I’d attack five bucket list items. They weren’t even close to the hardest ones on my list. And I regretfully admit that I crossed exactly zero of them off my list so far. I’m not even close to ahead of where I was at the beginning of 2021, and yet I’m back here ready to write another post just like that one.

But there’s a difference. There’s perspective.

Why write a list that I can look back on as a source of regret and failure? Because hopes and dreams are fulfilled on the back of those who weren’t afraid to take risks. For those who let their visions run wild. And for those who knew that even if they didn’t accomplish their goals, they were better off than anyone who didn’t have any goals at all.

So here I am. I’m writing about five tasks to conquer in 2022. And they’re even loftier than the previous year’s goals. Far loftier, in fact. Why? Because that’s how I’m going to make my mark in this world. That’s how I’m going to become the person I want and need to be.

Hopes and dreams are fulfilled on the back of those who weren't afraid to take risks.
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1) A 2022 Writing Bonanza

I have written four books so far. All fairly short, all non-fiction. They’re about topics I know a lot about, in some ways too much.

And they’re about topics I needed to write about.

But they’re not the ultimate goal. The ultimate goal is to write a novel. To create a work of fiction I can look at with pride.

But I’ve had a block now for years. I just don’t know what to write about. And I desperately want to write something unique and original, yet it feels like everything has already been done.

But fears can hold me back no longer. It might take me years to write my book. And I might scrap large pieces along the way. But this is the year I do the hardest part: I get started!

2) A Bright Economic 2022

It’s taken me a long time to come to terms with the fact that I’m nowhere near where I want to be financially. I keep hoping that someday my current job will do more than just “pay the bills”. And I keep hoping that my different side projects will at some point just take off and make all the difference. But it never seems to happen. And I find myself stuck in a situation in which I can’t comfortably do for my family and my children what my amazing parents did for me.

And so 2022 is the year in which I come up with a new game plan. It’s a year I try new and exciting projects, and hopefully find myself on the road to where I want to be. Not just where I hope to be, but where I need to be.

I’ve been reading all about how to “get rich”. I already soaked in Rich Dad Poor Dad and I’m currently reading Think and Grow Rich. I read this fantastic newsletter every day, trying to become more economically savvy. And I plan to put all my abilities, knowledge, talent, strength, and energy toward revising my path and getting where I need to be, as soon as humanly possible.

It’s not about if I succeed. That is inevitable. It’s about when I succeed, and finding the best and fastest path to get there.

3) An Unlikely 2022 Six-Pack

Yup, it’s quite vain. But I’m totally OK with that.

You see, I’ve been losing a lot of weight lately. Way much more than I even thought was possible at this point.

When I was younger and first got my Diabetes scare, I also lost a ton of weight. I was over ten pounds lighter than I am now, in fact. But I was unfit. I was scrawny, not a muscle on my body.

But over the years I started becoming a gym rat, and packed on the muscle. But I was never really able to both gain a ton of muscle and also burn off the pesky fat that was plaguing me. And it was frustrating. I was working very hard for years. Yet it felt like I never properly saw the fruit of my labor.

Chael Sonnen, famous MMA commentator and former competitor, once said that only two types of people can have six-packs: Twenty-year olds and those on steroids.

He’s got a point. And I certainly don’t fit either category at all.

Yet… challenge accepted. I desperately want to see what my stomach looks like under that last little layer of fat. And I will get there. No matter what!

4) A 2022 About-Time Driver’s License

I grew up in New York and learned to love the public transportation system. Who doesn’t love the speed of the subway or the view from the ferry?

But because of this I had little interest in getting a driver’s license. In fact, I didn’t get mine until I was 28 (!), when I moved to Ithaca and it was basically mandatory for all tasks.

And that led to eleven years of non-stop driving, in which I honed my skills and became a pretty decent driver.

But five years ago I came back to Israel and I have yet to transfer over my license. This is for four reasons: First, I like walking and I can get almost anywhere in this city on my own feet. Second, the process of transferring a license is miserable. It’s expensive and time-consuming, so without a huge reason, I just didn’t bother. Third, driving in Jerusalem is horrifying. It’s like watching an almost accident every other minute. My last three years in the States I lived in Kansas, where driving was such a pleasure. I’m just not sure I’m ready for the Jerusalem driving experience.

Finally, I married a lovely person… who has been driving in Israel most of her adult life. And very well, I might add.

But that’s really part of the point. The time has come to figure out how to get myself around this crazy country without someone else’s help.

In 2022, I brave the offices. I brave the treacherous Jerusalem roads and drivers. And I start contributing to the driving going on in our happy household.

5) Another Degree of 2022

In 1998, I got my undergraduate degree. Many years later I earned a Masters’s in Education. But I haven’t done much since then. Oh sure, I’ve learned plenty. I never stop doing that. And I’ve gotten certifications ranging from tech to personal training to bartending.

But the dream of a Ph.D. seems to be too lofty at the moment. And I keep changing my mind about what subject I’d want to master anyhow.

So the goal has temporarily shifted. Right now, I just want another degree. I want another shiny piece of paper to put on my wall. Sure, these take a long time and are potentially costly. But I like them! They’re like giant, pretty trophies I hang above my non-existent fireplace.

I earned myself a full-tuition fellowship to get my Master’s. I want to figure out the next step in my education. And even though the Master’s was four years of reading articles and writing papers while trying to put kids to bed, I’m ready for the next one. I’m ready to get the next trophy. In 2022 I’m going to figure out to make that happen!

I’ve got a big year ahead of me!

***

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A Whole Lot is New, and I am Not OK (Guest Post)

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My favorite guest poster: My beautiful wife, Devorah. I’ll let her words speak for themselves.

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These days, when I bump into friends and they ask “How are you? What’s new?” I have to rack my brain for an answer that adheres to social niceties. Usually I’ll say “I’m ok, not much new. Just life.” But I’m actually lying. A white lie, if you will. However, I doubt John Doe wants to hear about all the new medical stuff I’ve been dealing with and how complicated it’s all been. It’s just small talk, after all. You, on the other hand, I suspect are a bit more curious… 

Six months ago I let myself succumb to my afternoon grogginess. It was a turning point for me. I once again felt the awful tiredness that sets in after lunch, and thought, “Well, maybe if my body is this tired, it needs the rest.” And I stopped fighting it. This was a tiredness I had fought many many times. Possibly years.

Like many in this day and age, I Googled what I can do about it. I tried to see if there were any underlying causes for it. Nothing clear-cut came up. Lack of iron always seemed to be a suspect for women. I amped up the iron, especially after my cycle. I also adopted the internet’s suggestions of eating fewer carbs and more protein for lunch and staying away from anything sugary. Sadly, nothing helped. 

Everything is Normal[image error]

More recently, I’d been regularly asking my doctor to check my blood work. Every time it was the same script: I’m tired, maybe we can check my vitamins? My iron levels? Anything else you can think of? Nothing came up. Ever. Everything was within the normal range.

I got a referral to a dietitian. The dietician admitted she’s been seeing a lot of patients who were tired. It’s winter, there’s a pandemic, you’re moving less. “All that can make you tired”, she said. “Makes sense”, I said. 

But that day I went back to bed and took a nap, and something changed in me. I slept for hours. I did it again the next day. And the next. Something was wrong. I knew it. I just didn’t know what. All the blood tests were absolutely fine. 

Around this time I started reading a book. It discussed some medical issues that often go undetected. Low Vitamin D, Celiac, and Hypothyroid. I had just gotten tested for Celiac (again), and it came back negative. The last time my Vitamin D was checked I was told that “my levels are beautiful”. So that left one area to check. I Googled “Hypothyroid”. Never in my life had I resonated with just about every single symptom on a list:

Fatigue 

Weight Gain

Dry Hair 

Brain Fog

Gut Issues

Anxiety 

To name just a few. 

I hadn’t been tested yet, but I knew: I was hypothyroid. 

Whatever that means.

Am I Really Hypothyroid?

The book suggested testing T3 and T4, not just TSH. This meant nothing to me, but I knew I hadn’t been tested for those. So I went back to the doctor and asked to get my T3 and T4 tested.

She told me that my thyroid is totally fine and it is only a myth that other levels will be off if TSH is fine. She told me that tiredness is usually psychological. She told me that 90% of the time they see nothing in blood tests that allude to why a person is tired. And she told me that my insurance will not test for T3 and T4, since my TSH is within range. 

“I can’t stay awake. I need a nap every single day!” I pleaded. 

“You know what? Why don’t we test your TSH again?” she replied. 

I felt like she was doing me a favor. 

The day I got my blood results back still seems blurry. 

My TSH was not within range. 

It was so out of range it made me wonder how it was within range just a few months prior. My doctor called me quickly so we can retest and make sure the test came back correct. She said it looks like hypothyroid and to see an Endocrinologist, pleased with herself for finding the cause of my fatigue.

I rushed to see an Endocrinologist. I actually pushed and shoved until I got an appointment, calling anyone I could, begging for the one opening that was reserved for already existing patients. The Endo wasn’t too happy about that part and spent half our time trying to figure out how I got the appointment. During the other half, she gave me a prescription and said to wait on it till my new blood test comes back to take the meds. “After all, we don’t want to put you on meds for the rest of your life before we are sure.” Umm, what? Sure of what? What do you mean the rest of my life? I had no idea what was going on. 

And the Meds Begin

My new blood test came back. My numbers suddenly jacked up even more. The doctor called me to instruct me on my lifelong meds.

The very next day I drove my husband to the hospital for surgery. When it rains it pours.

While we were at the hospital I picked up my first dose of meds. I read the leaflet. I always do… I’m one of those. I read: “Do not use the medication if there is known sensitivity to any of the ingredients”. I scanned down to the ingredients: Lactose. An ingredient I had cut out of my diet years ago because it sent me rushing to the bathroom. Great. But I took it anyway.

 A few hours later I rushed to the bathroom. And this became my new everyday reality.

I went to a different Endo, with all the questions that my brain had been racking up. 

Yes, this is for life. Yes, you have Hashimoto’s as well. Yes, the lactose could be the cause of the diarrhea. No, there’s no explanation why you became hypothyroid out of the blue. No, there’s nothing you can do besides take meds. No, nutrition doesn’t help. 

While I didn’t really expect different answers, I was still hoping for them. 

She switched my meds to ones without lactose and told me that it’ll still take a few weeks until the medicine lowers my numbers within range. (Spoiler alert: It took days)  

So Much Information!

Hashimoto’s, I learned, was the reason my Thyroid went out of whack. It’s an autoimmune disease that will eventually hit and destroy your thyroid.

As obscure as it may sound, it’s actually considered fairly common. I even found out recently that Joe Rogan has it (watch here).

The only problem is the vast majority will go untested for years. Mostly because the medical world has no treatment for Hashimoto’s. Once it hits the thyroid and shows up on your TSH, then they could prescribe hormones. The caveat is that meds may or may not help with symptoms. You have to get the right meds and the exact amount. Any swaying from accuracy can cause you to feel like hell.

Heck, from what I was seeing online, you can even have it all correct and still feel like hell.

So I did what I always do. Despite what the Endo said, I turned to diet. I am a complete believer in diet changing health. No one will ever be able to convince me otherwise. It may not be the only component of great health, but it’s a big one. For all those shaking their heads right now–another spoiler–I didn’t go and throw my meds out. I was still faithfully taking them first thing in the morning. But despite taking them, and despite changing them, I still felt awful. In fact, shortly after switching meds, I felt worse. 

Basically, at this point I was battling old symptoms, new symptoms, and my insurance for better meds. I suffered through all the symptoms on the list. Even the ones I read about in other people’s stories, when I felt relief of that not being my life. But now it was my life. My hair was falling out, my muscles hurt, my joints hurt, I couldn’t recall information or finish sentences without getting all jumbled up. And I was still having bathroom issues.

So… What’s New?

I quickly got my hands on books, interviews, podcasts–anything that would shed more light onto this life sentence. I ordered a book off of Book Depository and I started following the program, slowly transitioning into the Autoimmune Protocol (AIP).

I’ve done a lot of complex food transitions in my life. I started having gut issues at age 14 and was diagnosed with IBS in my early twenties. I’ve tried many things to assist with that over the years. I cut out gluten, dairy, and sugar. I tried Veganism (way before it was cool), Food Combining, The Whole30, and Fodmaps, to name a few. AIP is harder. But here’s the crazy thing: One-by-one, my symptoms were disappearing. 

AIP is an elimination diet. Which means, you cut out foods and slowly reintroduce them to pinpoint what your body is reacting to. It’s a slow and lengthy process. It makes socializing extremely difficult and going out to eat impossible. It requires hours of prep in the kitchen to have compliant foods on hand, let alone feeding your family. It also makes you rethink food. How am I fueling my body? What benefits am I getting from what I’m ingesting? 

So that’s what’s new, my friends. It’s been six months now. I’m on a journey. I am by no means done. I suspect my meds aren’t quite right yet. I’ll know more at my next blood test. There are still days I need naps. There are still ways I’d like to improve. I want to lower my antibodies, but will probably have to find a private place to do that or be ready for another insurance battle. Ideally I’d love to go into remission. People do it. It’s hard work. But one thing I know for sure: If there is anything worth fighting for in this world, it’s your health. 

One thing I know for sure: If there is anything worth fighting for in this world, it's your health.
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Remembering 2021

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It feels like just a minute ago, the world and I were so excited about looking at 2020 in the rearview mirror. The year was crap and 2021 flew into our lives laden with hopes and dreams. I remember repeatedly singing this song, so enthusiastic that we were finally capable of putting the misery behind us.

But alas, 2021 came and went. Over in the blink of an eye. And in many ways, there’s even less to show than in 2020. At least in the previous year, we fought and struggled to make things work. We learned how to exercise from with a gym or equipment. We discovered the joy of working from home. And we were reintroduced to our families, who we now needed to learn to spend more time with than we ever imagined.

But we stopped trying to make things work. We fell into the biggest trap of this new generation: Complacency.

We hid behind our masks, stopped doing the things we loved to do, and just sat staring at the TV. And our personal growth was replaced by learning about new variants and trying to keep up with which countries are getting pummeled by illness. We made it a virtual hobby to try and follow the never-ending slew of laws and law changes happening every day.

We stopped trying to make things work. We fell into the biggest trap of this new generation: Complacency.
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Goodbye to 2021

I’m glad to say goodbye to 2021. Overjoyed, in fact. In many ways, we’ve now lost more than 2% of our lives to this stupid disease. And I think every last one of us deserves to be able to move on with our days, full force, without anything holding us back. We should be blessed with an insanely fun and productive 2022!

But even though it feels like time has slowed, that doesn’t mean life has stopped. 2021 had its significant moments along the way. Here are five that stand out to me, five game-changing moments that would be important no matter what year they happened in:

1) A New Nose for 2021

I had surgery done on my nose to fix a problem that had been plaguing me for as long as I can remember. I’m now learning how to breathe in many ways for the first time in my entire life. It’s a giant adventure.

For so many years I’ve grown accustomed to an uncomfortable inability to breathe out of both nostrils. Now I’m learning, like a small child, how to breathe correctly. And it literally affects everything I do. From the gym to going to sleep at night, I can honestly say that in some ways everything in my life has been impacted by this long-awaited surgery.

2) Work Calmed at the end of 2021

There’s a famous parable about a person who comes to his rabbi seeking desperate advice because he’s overwhelmed with all the craziness in his household. The rabbi keeps advising him to incorporate different animals into his home, and sure enough, the problem just gets worse and worse.

Ultimately the rabbi tells him to get rid of all the animals, and all of a sudden his house feels calm and spacious, like never before.

Well, something similar happened with me at my job. For the past three years, various problems kept arising and not going away. It got to the point in which every workday was so overwhelming and stressful, I felt like I was going to explode.

Then one problem was solved… then another… and finally the last major one. And suddenly, everything felt calm and pleasant again. Was it better than before all the problems started piling on? Not necessarily. But it certainly feels like it!

3) What I Lost in 2021

About a year ago, my amazing wife bought a cool exercise device for our home. And I looked at that thing embarrassed. Why? I thought I would never be able to touch it.

It had a weight limit of 175 pounds, and I was well, well past that. Above 190, in fact. And I just assumed it was never going to be a part of my life.

It’s unclear where the biggest changes came from. Perhaps my slow chewing. Maybe some dietary changes due to my Diabetes diagnosis. It could even be because I’ve been drinking a crap ton of water. But whatever the case, at the time of writing I’m clocking in at a solid 161 pounds.

That’s right. I’ve kicked 30 pounds to the curb, and I have no interest in ever picking them up again. And now that unattainable 175-pound limit seems laughable. And I couldn’t be happier about it!

4) A Special 2021 Visitor

Several years ago I was afraid of all online shopping. The concept was so foreign to me. I figured: You go to a store, you find something you like, and boom, you get it. But once I embraced the magic of Amazon, my life was improved tenfold. I became masterful at searching until I found the best bang for my buck, and in a matter of days, something fantastic was at my doorstep.

But Israel’s a different beast. Sometimes Amazon allows free shipping to Israel, but it comes with a learning curve. Not everything is available here. And it’s a bit of an artform to purchase things that are expensive enough that free shipping is allowed, but cheap enough that you don’t have to pay ridiculous customs fees. But once the smoke cleared and I figured it all out, my addiction settled in again.

And yeah, it takes a while to ship here. But I’ve come to look at that as half the fun. By the time your package arrives, you forgot you ordered something or what it was. So when it gets here, it’s like receiving a very special gift from the Amazon gods.

And life in Israel becomes just that much better and more bearable for me.

5) Living Post-Corona

I remember the beginning of this disaster. I had a mild panic attack in the grocery store, wondering why buying cucumbers was worth possibly getting a deadly illness. I, like so many others, began to live my life in fear and dread.

Then one day, right at the beginning of the year, I just decided to stop, and I’ve lived that way ever since.

This was before the vaccine, and with still limited information. It didn’t matter. As far as I was concerned, things could go one of several ways. I could live my life cowering in terror from an illness or I could go about my life. If I chose the former, I may or may not get sick. But I would most certainly be frustrated and miserable. As it stands, this bastard has robbed many of us of so much of our lives already.

But if I chose the latter, I still might not get sick. And if I got sick, it could very well be no big deal at all. And I was more than happy to take that chance. I’m young, strong, and healthy. Is it really reasonable for me to change my life because of a minute chance that something terrible could happen? Wouldn’t that outlook then interfere with just about everything I do then? How could I justify getting into a car knowing full well that a chance exists I might end up maimed or dead?

So, this thing is certainly not over yet. And governments around the world are certainly doing their best to let it continue to control our lives. But in my head, I’ve moved on. I’m living life post-Corona. And I’m so much better off for it.

May 2022 bring us all endless fortune and opportunities!

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Your Crap is Your Crap

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Your crap is your crap.

This is a mantra I come back to time and time again: Your crap is your crap. What does it mean and why do I say it?

Because everything in this world is relative to you and your circumstances. And that can validate almost anything you ever think or feel.

Better Off Than Billions

Many times in my life I’ve suffered. I had a failed marriage and watched all the insanity that comes along with the experience. I’ve had physical woes along the way, everything from stomach problems to a bad knee to breathing issues. And I’ve had money troubles like no tomorrow.

But I’m not naive. I recognize that the world I live in is pretty miserable for not just a few people. I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say I’m luckier and better off than at least seven billion people on the planet. There are countless people living in dire poverty or living in fear for their lives. Scores of people feeling pain and suffering I’d find unfathomable.

So what gives me the right to complain when my phone company overcharges me? Or someone blows cigarette smoke in my face? Or when my sciatica starts acting up again? Or my children start fighting with each other like rabid psychopaths? Or there just simply isn’t enough time in a day to accomplish everything I want to accomplish?

Why? It’s simple.

Your Crap is Your Crap
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Your Crap is Your Crap

Your crap is your crap. And no one has any right in the slightest to deny you the suffering you are feeling, relative to your own environment, your own situation, and your own ability to handle everything happening around you. And anyone in your life who tries to tell you not to complain or vent about what’s on your mind is doing you a disservice. They are not true friends. And they are not letting you get the pain out of your system like you need to.

There exist cultures that encourage you to bottle up your feelings. You should bury everything deep down and not let them be a burden upon you or the society at large.

But that’s not how we’re meant to cope with our daily struggles. We’re meant to explore how things make us feel. We’re meant to delve into our own psyches and learn from what we’re struggling with. Learn how to become better, stronger people. And through this beautiful exploration, we achieve a certain level of self-actualization that brings us a step or two closer to becoming who we are meant to be in this world.

The process of burying our feelings does not make them go away. Quite the opposite, in fact. I look at those feelings like a dirty old handkerchief. We do our business into that glorified rag, and then what do we do? We shove it into a deep, dark pocket. It’s the ultimate breeding ground, where the grotesque few germs can now grow and become a massive amount of germs.

Like our boiling emotions.

The Buried Emotion

When shoved deep down in our system, they are still around. Not broken or damaged in the slightest. Rather their fire is being doused with gasoline, and one day they will explode out of the suppressor. And it will be ugly, oh so ugly.

So no, just because someone else lost a parent, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be upset because you lost a pet. And just because there is some kid in Africa who hasn’t eaten in a week, doesn’t mean you can’t be agitated if you had to skip lunch this afternoon.

And just because someone out there lives his life in fear of death every single day does not mean you don’t need to vent to friends and family if something unpleasant happens at work.

If you choose to smile more and fret less because you have it good in comparison to so many others, that’s your choice. And it’s a lovely one to make. But it’s going to be an uphill battle. You might be fooling yourself half the time. And you better not impose your outlook upon anyone else. All you’d be doing is denying others the right to cope with their challenges the way they need to.

And what you’re doing may be antithetical to the noblest way to conduct yourself.

Your Trauma is Your Trauma

I recently posted on a PTSD group, panicking that I’d be shunned for considering thoughts and feelings I have as comparable to the trauma others experienced. After all, I’ve never seen war. I’ve never stared death or drug addiction or a broken childhood or physical abuse in the face. Who am I to compare some of the feelings I experience to those of others who have really suffered?

And the group could not have been more welcoming. Trauma was presented to me as something relative to the individual. Something related to your own response to circumstances. Not the circumstances themselves. I felt what I felt because of how my system responds to certain parts of my past, and as far as they were concerned, the minutiae of that past weren’t relevant to the discussion. I needed help and they welcomed me with open arms. They embraced me and took me in as one of their own.

Why?

Your Feelings are Your Feelings

Because your crap is your crap. Your feelings are your feelings. No, that doesn’t mean you should lord them over others. It doesn’t mean that the world needs to change itself to accommodate you. That doesn’t mean people should change their lives because of the suffering you experience. But it does mean you have every right to feel the way you do, and anyone denying you that right is doing something terrible.

So the next time you hear a little voice inside your head telling you to bury your frustrations, just don’t do it. Find a friend who will listen intently and give you fresh and interesting insights. Talk to your therapist. Snuggle with your dog. Go to the gym and beat the ever-living hell out of the heavy bag.

Remember: Your crap is your crap. You deserve sympathy for suffering. Own it. Embrace it. And join the rest of us in trying to break free of the troubles life constantly tosses our way.

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The Blessing of Diabetes

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About fifteen years ago, I went to a doctor in Israel because my body was behaving oddly. I was thirsty all the time and found myself constantly needing to go to the bathroom. Often right after I just got out!

Now, if you’re a decent doctor, or you’re very familiar with situations like mine, you’ve already figured out where this story is going. We’re staring right at Diabetes. But me? I had no idea at the time. I knew enough to be concerned. I just didn’t know how concerned I needed to be.

The doctor was very confident he knew what was going on, and told me I needed to take a blood test. And that’s when I heard a term I was unfamiliar with: Prediabetic.

A Hop Away from Diabetes

Essentially, I had neglected my body long enough, and now I had to deal with the consequences. I put enough sugar in my system that my body forgot how to handle it, and now I was just a hop away from full-blown Diabetes, if I didn’t get my act together and make some serious changes in my life.

I didn’t really understand what Diabetes was. To be honest, I’m still fully trying to wrap my head around it (I recommend this book). This stuff is by no means simple. But I knew a few things. I was responsible for getting myself here. I didn’t want this, but I was stuck. And I was terrified. And I knew that it was critical for me to make intelligent decisions moving forward, or I was going to be in dire straits soon enough. Being thirsty would soon be the least of my problems.

And the terror worsened as I learned that severe complications with Diabetes could lead to blindness, foot amputation, and even death. I did not have an easy road ahead of me. And my complete ignorance did not make the matter any better.

The Blessing of Diabetes

But, as strange as this may sound, I’ve come to look at my Diabetes as one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s unpleasant. And it’s daunting. In the world of health, there’s often talk of a “cheat meal”. I’m not a big fan of the concept in general. At least not as a universally good idea. But for me, there is no cheat meal. There’s no break. I crossed a certain threshold. So now, if I decide to spend an evening drinking cocktails and downing donuts, my blood sugar will spike beyond recognition.

I’ve already felt the sting of complications. I fainted once in the middle of the school day. My blood sugar spiked, causing me to dehydrate, and the next thing I knew, my head was on the floor.

But I’m lucky. One bad spike can cause a reaction that might leave me permanently blind in an eye. No, I’ve made my mistakes, and that’s behind me. Now I need to move forward without causing myself any more harm. There’s too much at stake. I have too many people relying on me.

So, it’s a horrifying illness. And the consequences of screwing up are worse than any I’ve experienced before. Yet I still think of it as one of the best things that ever happened to me!

How is that possible?

As strange as this may sound, I've come to look at my Diabetes as one of the best things that has ever happened to me.
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A Slap in the Face

I think in life we get a few slaps in the face. A few moments in which the universe tells us we’re doing something terribly wrong. But those moments end up being giant turning points in our actions and attitudes. And they end up forming the backbone of the person we become.

The first obvious one in my life was when I was attacked as a teenager. Six pieces of garbage left me quivering in an emergency room… and I can literally trace everything about my life to the changes I made resulting from that fateful evening. It was one of the worst things that ever happened to me. Yet I wouldn’t take it back in a million years.

Yes, it was tragic. But it was part of an intelligent and elaborate puzzle, an essential piece that was needed to get me where I needed to be.

And the same is true for the first moment the doctor handed me my Diabetes diagnosis. It was sad. Devastating. Heartbreaking knowing that my lackadaisical attitude about my wellbeing really did have meaning. It really did have consequences.

But I was then able to push that aside and start a brand new process in my life. And where has that led me? To a life that centers around health.

I went from being the type of person who could eat Twinkies and Oreos all day long, never tiring of their sugary goodness, to someone who can’t get enough of trying to figure out a system that will ultimately lead to perfect health. I read articles all the time. I watch videos. I experiment with new ideas every day. And a day I make it to the gym is almost always a good day. And a day I need to skip is a day I mourn. A day that is lacking, no matter how much has happened, good or bad.

My #1 Priority

Several years ago, when I was considering getting back into dating again, and people asked what I was looking for, I would say first and foremost, someone who believes in having a healthy household. Someone who believes in filling the home with nourishing and wholesome foods. Someone who advocates for an active lifestyle. And someone who wants an environment free of stress and conflict.

That’s what was important to me. More than anything else I could possibly name.

And it all started because I found out my life of mistakes led me on an inevitable road to a nasty health condition.

So I am who I am because, once again, something went drastically wrong.

My Guiding Philosophy

I have a guiding philosophy that I refer back to all time. Life is filled with only two types of realities: Things are either obviously good, or ones that are not good yet.

But their time will come!

The only thing separating them from their innate goodness is time. If you don’t see the good, you haven’t waited long enough.

But it’s there. It’s obscured, but it’s there.

Finding out about my health issues was miserable. And I’m such a better person because of it!

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Joe Rogan’s Unlikely Secret to Success

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As I’ve mentioned before, I’m a big fan of Joe Rogan’s podcast. He talks about many topics that interest me greatly, and the format and entertainment value are second to none.

But his success often perplexes me. And that’s what I want to speak about today.

The “Rules” of Success

I am by no means a marketing expert. I’m hardly a marketing beginner. But I dabble. I’m interested. And I’m learning all the time. I have this here blog. And my books. And I know if I want anyone to read my words or buy my books, I need to do what it takes to get things out there.

This takes a lot of research, tons of skills, and copious amounts of time. And as much as I want to see and feel success, I don’t have the time or energy to do what it takes. I’d rather just write. I’d rather just hone my craft and plug forward every day, and just let the chips fall where they may.

Furthermore, there are rules to this game. And I hate the rules. They irk me.

Find Your Niche

Do enough research and you’ll find that everyone has their opinion of the perfect length for a blog post or the perfect length for a podcast or a YouTube video. There might be small disagreements, but there’s still a general consensus that some things just don’t work. Ultimately everyone is just trying to beat an algorithm. Everyone is just trying to plug their creation into the best formula to breed the most success. Some things work. Others don’t.

Furthermore, no matter what your medium, we’re always told to find our niche. You can’t create a hodgepodge of tons of different, non-related topics. Not only do you need to pick one and stick with it, but you should fine-tune your topic down to something so specific, you’ll be the go-to person for that topic.

Want to start a YoutTube channel? Alrighty, choose a topic. You’ll never succeed if it’s just making videos about whatever pops into your head.

So what to do? Cooking? Fine, but way too broad. Too much competition. Everyone and his kitten have a YouTube cooking channel. Mexican cooking? Alright, we’re getting closer. Mexican cooking for lactose intolerant left-handed ex-cons with dyslexia? Now we’re talking!

Joe Rogan vs The Rules[image error]

But Joe Rogan breaks these rules. His guests span a wide gamut. Sometimes they are politicians, other times scholars. Authors, artists, buddies, comedians, bloggers, activists, or whomever he feels like speaking to that day. There’s no pattern. There’s no schedule. One day he’s talking about the environment, the next hunting, the next mixed martial arts, and the next they’re discussing some crazy events happening in the world at that moment.

So on one hand we’re told there’s a very specific format one must have in order to achieve maximum success. And on the other hand, we’re watching as Joe Rogan breaks every rule, and yet has the most successful podcast in the world. How can that be?

I’ve contemplated for a while why that’s the case. And if there’s some way this can apply to the rest of us mere mortals.

I’m not positive if I know the answer just yet, but I can definitely say this: Joe Rogan often feels like the last man standing in a war to remain impartial.

Joe Rogan vs A Fragmented World

Somehow or other the world has become fragmented to degrees that are disturbing. You must choose a side, and once you’ve chosen that side, all opinions are already laid out before you. Not only that, but you may not veer, no matter how absurd those views get. And trust me, they’ll get absurd. They’ll get radical. They’ll get quite unnerving. And the moment you step outside, you might as well be on the other team. Because you will get drummed off of your team faster than you could imagine.

And yet here you have a man making his career having long, entertaining conversations with people from all over the spectrum. One day Joe Rogan’s talking to Bernie Sanders, the next with Ben Shapiro, and then he sneaks in a conversation with Kanye West and Sanjay Gupta for a little variety. And they’re all great conversations. They’re all worth listening to. And they’re all fantastic opportunities to expand the way you look at the world.

Maybe a part of why his popularity is so far and wide is because it’s a reality we all, deep down, want to return to. We’ve been so conditioned to “pick a side” we can’t even remember a world in which we connected to people different from us. Our thought patterns have been shoved into our brains by algorithms on Facebook and YouTube, forcing us to look at the world through one very fine-tuned lens. But it’s not who we are.

Joe Rogan’s Unlikely Secret to Success
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We all know that to truly experience growth, we need to be challenged. We need to look at the world from multiple perspectives. And the end result is very unlikely to produce a carbon copy viewpoint of our next-door neighbor. No, by the time the process is complete, we’d actually all be different from one another. Each and every one of us would have subjects about which we’re passionate, issues we wish to vehemently fight against, and others we literally couldn’t care less about.

And sure enough, we’d have a subset of our beliefs that we considered unformed, waiting to be influenced and impacted by the many voices out there.

And it would be a beautiful thing!

What Happens Without An Agenda

But maybe there’s even more to this message. Perhaps it’s true that for most people the road to success is choosing a niche. It’s modifying the length of what you do to fit a certain formula. It’s going by a strict code and using certain methods to reach out to people.

But there’s a level that transcends all of that. When you create a product so damn good, the rules no longer apply to you. You are so genuine and entertaining that hundreds of thousands of people want to listen to you, and they don’t really care if you’re talking to Elon Musk or Snoop Dogg. The only thing that matters is what feels like the last opportunity to hear from someone with true interest and no agenda.

We all want it.

Just the cards are stacked against us.

And we don’t even realize yet how much we want it!

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Healthy Body, Healthier Outlook

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A few weeks ago I wrote a post that ticked some people off. It happens. And I’m OK with that. More than OK. I speak my mind. If you like it, great. If you don’t, you don’t have to read. And, of course, I’m a fan of polite and friendly discourse.

I have no interest in insulting your viewpoint. And just as little interest in someone else belittling mine. I just want open and honest dialogue. It’s what’s healthy. And I think it’s a problem our generation seems to not really care about very much at all.

I can pick apart most people’s arguments. And I can Google information with the best of ’em. But what’s the point if no one’s listening and everyone’s already made up their minds in advance?

I wish to clarify my position–what I feel strongly and don’t feel strongly about. And maybe for some, it will give a fresh perspective on the whole matter.

I Am Not Pro-Death[image error]

First off, I’m not pro-death. I don’t want anyone to die. I don’t want anyone to suffer. And I would love for this stupid ass pandemic to finally be something we’re observing in the rearview mirror.

I’m also not anti-vaccine. I got two jabs in my arm. Admittedly, I didn’t want to. And I certainly don’t want to be compelled to get a third. But if it’s protecting the vulnerable and for others it’s making them feel a whole lot safer, then be my guest. That is your choice, and I don’t begrudge it in the slightest.

But I don’t want to have a conversation about vaccines. Frankly, I’m bored of vaccine conversations.

I’ve given this a lot of thought. I’ve contemplated and contemplated until I was able to really boil down my perspective on so much of what’s happening in the world. There are two things I’m passionate about here:

A. I am anti-censorship.

B. And I am a powerful advocate of healthy lifestyles.

These mean more to me than just about anything, and I want to address them both at length.

Anti-Censorship

I said a sentence in my previous article that bothered a lot of people. And I get it. Arguably, it was a stain on my persepctive. Not because I didn’t believe it. But because it was so strongly worded that it distracted people from my primary point. I said, “I’d rather the population of the world gets ravaged by a vicious disease than live in a world in which these basic freedoms have been completely trampled upon.”

I don’t want anyone to die. But we as a society have fought way too long and way too hard to ignore the basic fundamentals of freedom of speech. Ignoring the signs that something is off is an incredibly slippery slope. And once we go down that path, I fear what happens next.

Our basic freedoms are what make the world great. Take them away and we enter a world I don’t want to be a part of. A world I don’t want to raise my children in. This pandemic has killed millions and will possibly kill millions more. But removing freedom from populations has killed so many more people, indiscriminately, and has the potential to be the most dangerous and terrifying phenomenon in my lifetime.

Healthy Body, Healthier Outlook
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Misinformation vs The Narrative

Now, I know you may say that it’s essential to censor misinformation. And you’ve got a point. However, there are two fatal flaws in the argument.

First, they’re not just trying to censor misinformation. They’re censoring words that don’t support a narrative. That’s very different. When you remove people’s ability to discover real information and make educated decisions for themselves, you’ve basically just handed the government the ability to control all their actions and thoughts. It’s a terrifying proposition! And it won’t end well.

Second, even if it were only an attack on misinformation, who decides what’s right and wrong? If a medical doctor has a video speaking of cases of children suffering from myocarditis after receiving a vaccine, why would something like this be deemed false? Because someone has decided one doctor is right and another is wrong?

This is not an attack on spreading lies and malicious falsehoods. This is an attack on free speech in order to support a very specific agenda. And that agenda may indeed be vindicated by history. We might look back and be grateful for aggressive government overreach to help halt this pandemic.

But I doubt it.

And I certainly doubt it will end there. People in power are there because they love power. We’re handing them much more than we ever bargained for. And they’re not going to give it up very easily. Once they’re on top of the mountain, we’re likely stuck in a situation we really should have never let ourselves get into in the first place.

A Healthy Lifestyle

Now, I want to talk a bit about living a healthy lifestyle.

There’s a whole lot of talk about vaccinations in the world, and very little talk about how to legitimately be healthy. Not just not having a virus, but being healthy all the time.

I believe in exercising regularly. I believe in becoming educated about nutrition and enjoying extremely healthy foods. Every day. And I believe in getting adequate rest, living an active lifestyle, and taking care of your mental and emotional well-being.

You might say doing these things will not prevent Covid or lessen your chances of getting hurt or killed by the disease.

But you’re simply not correct.

I’m not saying don’t get vaccinated. I believe that’s your choice and yours alone.

But I am saying that you cannot legitimately claim to be concerned with your health if you don’t factor in all of the things I’m saying to do as well. That’s just nonsense talk. You’re fooling yourself.

The Better Advice

Your advice MIGHT protect you from Covid, and might lessen the severity of the disease. My advice might also prevent Covid or its severity. But it will also protect you from diabetes, heart disease, fatty liver disease, depression, and countless other ailments.

So who’s giving the better advice? And who is actually more concerned with your health and well-being?

Fact is, someone out there wants everyone vaccinated. Maybe it’s because of money. Maybe it’s because of power. Maybe it’s because of a genuine concern for everyone’s health and safety. But you’ve got to ask: If they’re really concerned with your health, where’s the other advice as well?

I’m sorry, but no one cares about your health. You probably don’t care about it very much either. Oh yes, you’re willing to get a shot and then treat everyone else around you like crap because you did what you were told. But nothing in the world of health comes quickly or easily. Your shot might keep you alive or off a ventilator in 2021. My push-ups and my broccoli might keep me alive and off the ventilator well into my 90s.

So, I’m sorry if you disagree with me.

No, scratch that. I encourage you to disagree with me. It would be hypocritical for me not to.

After all, my concern is free speech.

One of the healthiest concepts the world has ever known!

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Dave Chappelle and the Controversy that Wasn’t

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Trendy controversies are all over the place lately. And I really can’t get enough of them, despite there being so few limited hours in a day.

Dave Chappelle has recently been flooding social media with his controversial special The Closer. I watched a few of the clips on YouTube, and I certainly understood the outrage, despite not being a fan of cancel culture or any outrage over comedy in general. But one thing caught my attention.

Watch the Whole Thing

Dave Chappelle discussed in a separate video his terms and conditions in order to have a meeting with the transgender community. And one condition stood out. He insisted that in order to speak with him, they needed to watch his special all the way through to the end.

Up to that point, I hadn’t done so. Just a few clips here and there. Who has time to watch over an hour of stand-up comedy these days?

But I wondered: Why this demand? Was it just a brilliant marketing technique to get more people to watch his entire show, or was there something deeper going on there?

So I watched everything, and I certainly got the answer I was looking for.

What No One’s Talking About

Yes, it was a brilliant marketing ploy. But it was so worth it. The end of the special was remarkable and unforgettable.

But no one is talking about it and I can only assume that’s because of one of two possible reasons. Either they haven’t seen it, or they don’t want to spoil it for you.

It’s the end of the show I wish to speak about. If you haven’t seen the special, please stop reading now and go watch from start to finish. If you’ve already seen it, or you have zero chance of watching it, read on.

Dave Chappelle: Everything is on the Table

Dave Chappelle is a comedian. Comedy is a special form of art that has a basic rule of thumb: Everything is on the table. If it exists, it can and will be mocked. This is not a sign of hatred. This is a sign of acceptance that all things in the world are subject to friendly ridicule. If you accept that, join the fun and listen. If you don’t like it, no one is obligating you to participate. Just stay out of the way.

But for one group, the teasing and mockery were disproportionate. For sure, he took a stab at women, black people, and even us Jewish folk. But Chappelle really blasted the transgender world. It seemed like he had a grudge against their community.

And by the end of the special, you felt like you understood why.

You see, Dave Chappelle is not transphobic. In fact, he spent a whole lot of time at the end of the special speaking of his close friend and aspiring comedian, Daphne Dorman, a transgender woman with whom he became extremely close and took under his wing. Once when the community took to Twitter to lambast Chappelle for his words, his friend Daphne put on her boxing gloves, yanked out her laptop, and defended him to the best of her ability.

And then the community took to attacking her.

And she held her own. She was strong.

Until she wasn’t anymore.

Worst Case Scenario

Until Daphne got up on a ledge and leaped to her death. Until she decided to end the pain and hatred being poured upon her by her very own community.

The transgender community is no stranger to suicide. I’ve seen numbers that show as many as 50% of transgender youth have attempted suicide!

Of course, you have one side of the discussion stating that there is an inherent mental connection. That whatever chemical in their brain confusing their identity is somehow linked to suicidality. Others will say it comes with the pain of being so different, and not knowing where to fit in this crazy world.

But the general consensus in the community itself seems to be that it is a direct result of societal mistreatment. People treat transgender people horrifically, and after being broken enough, they seek a way out. A permanent solution for their pain and woes.

What if that is true? What if the shocking suicide rate is a result of mistreatment and ridicule? What a God-awful reality that would be! Anyone who ever pointed or stared or said a cruel word was a piece of the puzzle leading up to that tragic moment. And they have blood on their hands.

But What About Now?

And yet, without a thought in this world, the community turned its venom on one of its own. They yanked out their keyboards, smacked down on caps lock, and ridiculed someone until she couldn’t take it any longer. Until she searched for an end to all of her suffering.

The community isn’t owning that fact. But it needs to.

You need to choose one way or the other. Either your massively tragic suicide rate isn’t related to how others talk about and treat you, or you have some blood on your hands for what happened to this poor woman. If the former is true, then you need to learn to live in a world in which people will point and mock and tease, especially when it is playful in nature, like when done by a comedian.

But if the latter is true, you need to accept what you’ve done. You need to contemplate the hypocrisy. And you need to understand the situation you’re in right now was engineered by your own doing. Dave Chappelle might very well have an axe to grind. Can you really blame him? You took one of his own! You took his friend and protege, and poked and prodded until she cracked under all of the hate and scrutiny.

You’re not innocent angels. Nope. You’re as crappy as the rest of us!

People Suck

And that’s really a big piece of the puzzle. No one’s above scrutiny. People suck on both sides of the political spectrum. There are terrible folk from all races and cultures. You can be a cruddy or fantastic person regardless of your gender, disability, or affiliation. And comedy has always recognized that nothing is off the table. Nothing, even if it upsets people. Even if it hurts feelings. That’s the way it should be. And hopefully that’s the way it will always be.

If you hated Dave Chappelle’s The Closer, you don’t need to watch it. You don’t need to recommend it to your friends. And you can go on Twitter and tell people you think it sucked.

Leave Comedy Alone

But two things still need to happen:

a. Leave comedy the hell alone. If you don’t enjoy scrutiny of your or any group, find another form of entertainment. But keep your oversensitive hands off this beautiful art form. The rest of us want it to stay exactly the way it is.

b. Don’t forget to be introspective. If you actually watched Chappelle’s special until the end, and you’re part of the storm that led to Daphne’s death, you need to wake up and realize who you are and what you’ve done. And until you’ve truly internalized that, you have no right to criticize anyone or anything.

We all come to the table with a whole lot of differences. The quicker we all learn how to laugh about them together rather than yell about them separately, the easier it will be to live in a truly harmonious world.

Dave Chappelle and the Controversy that Wasn’t
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