David Andrew Jaffe's Blog, page 14

We Are Living in a Giant Mask Joke

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Over a year ago, I made a conscious choice. Corona was done. Yeah, the world had not yet created a vaccine. But it didn’t matter. The notion of being controlled indefinitely by an illness had become absurd. I was no longer afraid. It was time to take my life back.

Things improved for me drastically after a simple mental switch. I was able to relax. I was able to be a little more normal. And slowly but surely the smile was returning to my face.

And then a vaccine hit the world.

Time Will Tell

I don’t know if they made the world a better place. I don’t know if more widespread vaccinations would have gotten us to a healthier world quicker. Time will tell. We will look back on this era and let’s just say, there will be a lot of folk in the world slapping themselves on the forehead for things they said and did. I don’t know who or for what. But it’s inevitable. Someone’s wrong about how they’re handling things, likely extremely overconfident in their approach, and probably more than a little insulting to those who have a different perspective.

And that rarely ends well.

But I’m not talking about vaccines. I’m talking today about masks.

Put On Your Damn Mask

The other night I went to a show, the first I’ve been to in a couple of years. I like to support the local community theater, and these folk work their asses off to entertain us all. And I sat down with a smile on my face. And before I could even enjoy a moment of my time, someone behind me told me to put on a mask.

I looked around. Maybe 60% of the people there were wearing masks. Of that 60%, half of them were beneath their noses. And among the mask-wearers, most came off throughout the evening for various reasons, like having a snack.

I was annoyed at her request, but I put the thing on. Some other person watching the whole thing then told me to make sure it’s covering my nose. And I sat there, pissed that this was how I was greeted into a return to semi-normality.

And pondering why it bothered me so much.

Is It Your Job?

My first thought was it wasn’t how or what they requested. It was who was requesting.

At this point, I’m kind of just going through the motions of life. I’ve walked into a store, and if they tell me to put a mask on, the mask goes on. I’m not making a statement by not wearing it. I’m just being. End of story.

But I’m not a jerk. The clerks are just doing their jobs, and I have no interest in making their life more challenging.

But for the first time in as long as I could remember, it wasn’t a clerk politely asking me to don my face cloth. It was random people. And you can see in their faces how much better than me they thought they were.

And this bugs me on multiple levels.

Is it really about health?

First of all, they couldn’t care less about me. Or facts. Or health. They don’t know that I went two years without getting so much as a Corona sniffle. They don’t care that I take care of myself, eating right, exercising, and loading my system up with critical vitamins to keep my immune system strong. Nor do they care that I recovered from Covid just a month ago, and was trying to enjoy the natural immunity that afforded me.

Nope. It’s just a couple of mask police officers, indiscriminately exercising the power of their self-appointed roles. Feeling good about themselves because a generation arose where someone told them they are allowed to bother other people, and feel the warmth of their self-righteous might flowing through their veins.

But seriously, are you going to tell me you’re doing this for safety reasons? Because that is laughable at best.

Are they actually safe?

The evidence that a mask is going to protect you from Covid is scanty, at best. And I could pretty much guarantee you this tiny piece of cloth bunched in my pocket isn’t going to make a big difference in anyone’s lives.

No, the masks are borderline useless, half the theater isn’t wearing one in the first place, and those who are aren’t wearing ones that work or aren’t wearing them correctly. And still none of this matters. Do you know how I know you don’t truly care and you’re not “following the science”? Because you, just like me and a few hundred other people, were there that night. Fact is, there is still only one way to guarantee you won’t get Corona. Stay at home.

Now, I don’t personally think you should do that. Time will tell whether or not the damage done by Corona regulations was worse than the illness itself. It certainly was for me. I think you should go to theater. And sporting events. And the movies. And restaurants. And hang out with your friends. But you should know and understand the risks. If you’re sitting in a crowded theater for three hours and someone in the theater has Corona, there’s a very likely chance you’re going to get it as well. And that’s regardless of whether you and the sick individual are both wearing masks.

Going out and having a good time is a really important part of life. But it is not a method of preventing yourself from getting sick.

Leave Each Other Alone

So what am I saying here? Let’s make this simple. Leave me the hell alone.

If you’re under no obligation to tell me what to do, please don’t. Mind your own business and let me live my life. And I promise you I won’t give you a lecture about how silly it is that you’re sitting in a crowded theater eating Cheetos with a mask on your chin. We can co-exist. We don’t need to interfere with each other’s lives. It all begins with recognizing that we’re all adults and the time is long past for us to start figuring out how to live our lives despite the fact that yet another illness lives alongside of us as well.

I’m willing to not bother you when you remove your unnecessary mask outside to down a Coke and smoke a cigarette. Why can’t you let me finally enjoy an evening out also?

I won't give you a lecture about how silly it is that you're sitting in a crowded theater eating Cheetos with a mask on your chin.
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Are We on the Correct Path?

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A thought and some heavy questions have been troubling me recently. Questions about my life’s path.

Who’s in charge of technology?

Years ago I heard a question in a lecture: Do we dictate where technology heads, or does it kind of just flow naturally from where it currently is, regardless of whether or not it’s in its most optimized form?

That’s not as confusing as it sounds.

He gave an example of the modern keyboard.

Way back when, we typed using typewriters. The keyboard was optimized for that specific device, to prevent the it from getting jammed when typing quickly. And for the time, it was perfect.

But later the modern computer was invented, and the jamming problem was no longer a thing. So the time came to revamp the keyboard based on the new technology. A couple of choices were just putting it in alphabetical order, or optimizing it based on strongest fingers and most commonly typed letters. But nothing ever took, because we were so used to the keyboard as it stood on a typewriter.

So it appears we’re stuck.

Technology isn’t necessarily developing based on the best way to help people have optimal lives. It just evolves as time goes by. Sometimes stuck behaving in ways it no longer should.

Certainly not the end of the world.

Stuck in Life

But what happens if all life is like this? Or most of it, anyway.

Do we really have full control over our destinies or are we too beholden to our past decisions? And even if you can argue that we have full control, is that forever? Or is there an expiration date? Is there a point in all of our lives in which we cross a threshold, and now we will always need to be a product of our pasts?

For example, if I want to be a professional athlete in a sport that takes decades to master and whose average retirement age is mid-30s, can I choose to go that route if I’m 40 and I haven’t started on that path yet?

Logic dictates that the ship has sailed, and I’ll be forced to choose a different path.

Maybe the example is extreme. Of course there exist physical limitations in life. Even if I started training at age 6, I simply wasn’t blessed with the qualities that would make a venture into the NBA possible. And even if I were, who’s to say I wouldn’t blow out my knees as a teenager, permanently ruining that chance as well.

The Guiding Light of Inertia

But I’m wondering less about opportunities whose time has passed, and more about the inertia that leads us to where we are at the moment.

When I was in high school, a catastrophic event led me to immersing myself in Jewish youth groups. NFTY became my heart and soul, and it helped lead to my choice of university. As well as my decision to pursue a career as a reform rabbi.

But those plans were derailed drastically, and I discovered a different passion within the world of Judaism, one that I was unlikely to have found if it weren’t for my previous experiences. But this new path led me to Israel, and a desire for nothing more than endless hours of Torah study. I was 20, and I had two decades worth of knowledge I needed to catch up on. It certainly wouldn’t happen overnight. So I plunged into that world and stayed in it as long as I could.

And the Path Just Continued

But then I happened upon an opportunity. I could extend my studies for three years, all the while working toward my rabbinic ordination. The results didn’t really matter to me. What was exciting was the ability to extend my studies, without much of a care. My circumstances were basically taking care of themselves. And I had no thought at all about what this might mean for my future.

And so I finished. I was now 28. Married with a kid. A mediocre degree with not a lot of job potential, and now a rabbinic ordination to boot. So if I wanted a profession, I had to use the tools at my disposal. And that’s when I took a job doing Jewish outreach at Cornell. I liked the work, but didn’t like needing to work so hard to get an audience. I wanted to prepare my materials, and have a group of people just show up, because that’s the nature of the system.

And these preferences led to a near decade’s worth of teaching in formal education environments. And by the time I was completely done with that career, I was pushing 40, I had four kids, and my marriage was in the trashcan.

How Did I Get Here?

And I wonder every day: How did I get there? I never set out to be a teacher. I’m not one of those people who decided their calling in high school and just pursued my dream passionately for the next several decades. No, I’m a product of intertia, luck, misfortune, and random decisions.

And now I stand here, pushing the halfway point to 90, pondering: What if I chose a different path? Am I doing what I was meant to do? If I wanted to start all over, choose the right path for me, and plunge myself into a brand new world, is this even possible? Do we get a chance to entirely rebrand ourselves? Or am I too late?

Or perhaps I’m looking at everything the wrong way. The good ole book The Power of Now would say that we have no control over the past. What matters is right now. Am I doing the best I can right now? Am I the best version of myself at this moment? And am I happy, appreciating the food that’s in my mouth, not uselessly dwelling upon the food that theoretically could have been in my mouth?

Am I Alone?

I know intuitively that this approach is the better one. It’s the one that would lead more people to true and everlasting happiness.

But I can’t escape the thought experiment. I can’t run away from this feeling that I plugged some piece of the puzzle in the wrong spot, and the results produced a path for me leading in the wrong direction.

Am I alone in feeling this way? Or is it absurd? My life is overflowing with blessings. So why do thoughts like this worm their way into my psyche? Why can’t I just look the other way?

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Is the N-Word Offensive?

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A couple of weeks ago I wrote a post about Joe Rogan’s controversial use of “the N-word” throughout his many years in the public eye. I feel like there were a lot of questions left unexplored, so I wanted to hop a little deeper into the subject.

N-Word vs. Kike

First off, someone asked me a question, one that I had thought about a great deal before he asked me, which is: Would I feel the same way if it were the word “kike” (a really nasty derogatory term for a Jew) being tossed around by Rogan. And my answer is: Yes, without a shadow of a doubt, my response would be the same.

I said it before and I’ll say it again: Context matters.

If some angry white supremacist looks at a group of black kids and starts harassing them and calling them the N-word, I think we can all agree that this is not a good thing. His behavior is immoral and gross, and we should all stand together to condemn such actions. However, if a white professor is teaching a class and discusses the origin of the N-word, and uses the word repeatedly because it makes it easier to teach, this is qualitatively different. You may not like it. You may think he shouldn’t teach that way. But you have to acknowledge that there is a vast chasm between the two scenarios.

Words aren’t inherently racist. People need to insert meaning into those words. Should a dictionary write the N-word instead of writing the word out properly? And if it did write the word out, would we consider it a work of racism?

So again, if someone calls me a “kike” to my face, and threatens me and those I love, I will be angry. And justifiably so. Outside of racial angst and hatred, there is room to use the word without it offending my sensibilities.

The Culture of Words

Furthermore, there is a vast culture that surrounds the N-word. You can hear the word on the streets day after day. It fills music lyrics. When Chris Rock wrote his famous routine about the black people he likes and the ones he hates, did he intend it to only be enjoyed by black people? Or does he want people to awkwardly quote his routine skirting around the words he used? If so, it’s quite an irresponsible use of the word then, isn’t it? We parents know if we want our children to not say certain things, the last thing in the world we should be doing is saying them ourselves.

To date, I have never heard a Jew call another Jew a “kike”. And I have not heard it used in any Jewish music I’ve ever listened to. There’s a certain level of responsibility when it comes to words, and if you want a word to be deemed “offensive” or off limits under any circumstances, it’s probably not the best idea to fill your culture to the brim with wanton public use of the word.

Whose Desicion Is It?

Now, you may say this last point is irrelevant, because it’s their word to use. And I get that. I hear the point loud and clear. And, in fact, I agree. It’s not up to me to decide whether or not something is an offensive use or misuse of a slur that is not aimed at me or my people.

However, a question bothers me all the time: Is it not equally offensive, or dare I say racist, to insist someone of another race, religion, or culture must be offended by something because you told them they need to be offended?

I’ve seen a whole lot of people complaining about how Joe Rogan spoke, yet I have seen next to no examples of black people coming out and condemning him. Only white people flipping out and telling him he spoke out of turn. He abused a word that he had no permission to handle.

And despite years of this grossly offensive behavior, it resulted in zero condemnation. Black people didn’t stop being his friend or being guests on his podcast. Nope. Dave Chappelle, Derick Lewis, Francis Ngannau, Israel Adesanya and countless others all appeared on his show. Yet the whitest of white America runs to criticize. They wave their righteous finger in front of the faces of others, calling them racists, and telling the black people of the world what they need to think.

Telling Others What to Think

But preventing anyone from forming their own thoughts and thinking for themselves is demeaning. What’s more offensive: Quoting a black person’s use of a racial slur or telling a black person how they need to feel about it?

I think we all know the answer to that question. But in case you missed it, you should really hear what Nigerian-born certified black Israel Adesanya says about the issue. I’m certain his is not the only opinion out there. But I’m also certain it’s a very prevalent one.

If it’s “their word” to use, how is it not also their word to decide when it’s offensive and who can use it under what circumstances? It’s so obviously condescending to tell another person or group they need to be offended by something, just because your poorly-defined moral code decides they should be. By doing so, you’re insulting people’s intelligence. And in my opinion, that’s far more racist than using a slur in a non-inflammatory way.

Fact is, context matters. Location matters too. What matters in one location might not be the same elsewhere. And the year and historical context matter as well. I’m right now reading Think and Grow Rich (1937). There was a moment in which the author referred to someone as a “colored girl”. I found myself immediately feeling uncomfortable. But then a thought popped into my head, one that is so ridiculously obvious that I’m shocked it never occurred to me before.

Preventing anyone from forming their own thoughts and thinking for themselves is demeaning.
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Colored People vs People of Color

In 2022, to say “colored people” is radically offensive. Yet saying “people of color” is perfectly acceptable. In fact, it’s the polite and proper way to refer to black people. But they are literally the exact same thing! A subtlety in grammar and poof, the same phrase. In fact, I wonder whether if translated into other languages, it would actually be written the same more often than not.

What that means is that someone at some point decided some words were offensive and others were not. And this will change. It always does. And one day someone is going to make a video of you on YouTube repeatedly using the wildly offensive term “people of color”. You will, of course, apologize. And some of your defenders will site historical context as your reason for doing something you didn’t realize was offensive at the time.

But your explanations and apologies will do no good. The mob will already be coming for you.

And you will be canceled.

It is your destiny.

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Israel… and the Lessons I’m Sick of Learning

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I had a lot of reluctance about returning to Israel. For sure I remembered many positive things about my first round here. But, sadly, I also remembered how rough things could get and the invaluable and harsh lessons the experience taught me.

Certainly there are major issues that could upset most people thinking about living a life in the Holy Land. Fear of terrorism. High taxes. Abysmal driving.

But then there are the little things. The minor nuisances that by themselves might not bother most people, but when you add them all together, they not only sting, but they reflect upon a culture many of us are not ready to be a part of.

Cab drivers insisting on not using the meters. Countless bank fees. Constant “mistakes” on bills. They all have one thing in common: You have money in your pocket, and someone else is willing to do whatever it takes to put it in their own.

I knew this was a part of the deal here. But I hoped things had gotten better. And thus let my guard down, way too much.

My Hot Mobile Story

I am right now trying to take my cell phone company (Hot Mobile) to Small Claims Court. They’ve wronged me, and they’ve made me incredibly angry. It’s a fight worth getting into. And even though I recognize I very well might lose, I’m either coming out of this having righted a wrong, or having learned invaluable lessons about surviving the Israel experience.

Here’s my story.

I chose Hot Mobile essentially at random when I moved back to Israel. I probably should have done my research, but for the most part, the plan sounded good and affordable. And for the first three years I didn’t really have any problem with the company. At least as far as I knew.

The Gift that Keeps on Giving

When I switched banks, I went into a Hot Mobile store to make sure their system had the correct credit card information. And I was delighted when the guy told me it was time to update my plan. I was paying too much. I gladly updated everything. And then this sweet person said that because I was changing my plan, I would get a free gift: Some headphones and laptop speakers. Cute. I didn’t need either, but who says no to a free gift?

And I went on my blissful and ignorant way. I used both items… until they stopped working just a few weeks later. But I was unconcerned. After all, they were free.

But I made several critical mistakes at this point, ones resulting in all my current frustration and hardships:

First, Israelis don’t give free gifts. For certain, there are times in which there might be no obvious price tag, but there’s still a cost. If someone offers you something for free, be wary. There’s always a catch!

Second, I didn’t review my bills.

I’m a big fan of setting up my life so I don’t need to think about things. I want my electricity bill to get paid automatically, so I don’t have to fear missing a payment and sitting in the dark for a week. I just want to live my life, and not focus on these relatively small matters.

But doing so requires a level of trust that many Israeli companies have not earned and do not deserve.

The Crappy Gift from Hell

So after way too long, we finally looked at my cell phone bill, which seemed quite high. And that’s when we noticed something odd. For the past year and a half, I was being charged monthly for the free “gift” I received. And no small amount, mind you. They split up payments over the course of three years, so they could charge me an ungodly amount for the junky trinkets I was told I was receiving as a special gift.

Now, this isn’t some company that represents values like honesty, integrity, and loyalty. This is a company that values making money, and sees no benefit in long-term customer satisfaction and retention. And my following customer service nightmare reflects just that.

I immediately tried to get the charges stopped and the money refunded. It wasn’t easy getting in touch with them. I found the simplest path was to write them on Facebook Messenger and then have someone call me. This call could then come any time in the next several days. If you miss it, it’s done. They’re not trying again. And you better make yourself available when they call, otherwise you’ll need to start the whole process over again.

The Customer Service Endless Pit

But finally I spoke with someone, and she was kind. She assured me the entire matter was being handled. I would be getting a full refund. It would just take 21-28 days, and then I would receive a text that it was all over.

Sure enough, a month goes by and I’m still being charged. Still no refund. So I contact them again, and it was like starting over. They had no record of the prior interactions. Nothing written about my situation at all!

And over the course of the next three months, it was a repetitive and bothersome customer support hellfire. Constant promises of calling me back, calls that never came. People telling me they need to check with managers. Silly excuses being made why people can’t answer some of my questions. Getting put on hold for long periods of time.

Until finally I spoke with a manager. And the gavel was smashed on the table.

There is absolutely nothing we can do to help, and there is no one in the universe with more power than the person with whom I was speaking. It was over. And I had lost.

But it’s not quite over yet!

Fighting Back and Invaluable Life Lessons

Now is when I need to fight back. And I’m either going to prosper and get all of my money returned (I’ve already switched phone plans) or I’m going to lose. But either way I’ll learn a whole lot of super important lessons I need. Lessons that are helpful in general, but in particular lessons essential for surviving the Israel experience.

The main lessons gathered so far (no doubt there are many more to come):

I had heard from many people that Hot Mobile was a bunch of crooks with terrible customer service. However, since it wasn’t my experience, I stuck around. Big mistake! Always better to learn from other people’s hardships than to experience them yourself.Be wary of any and all free gifts. This is not a common concept here in Israel. No one is trying to win you over as a customer. So if they offer you something for free, either politely decline, or keep looking over your shoulder. But don’t smile, thank them, and do nothing else!Do not ignore your bills! It’s so easy to do. There are so many. And each one feels like twenty pages of Hebrew. But you can never assume things are OK. The moment you let your guard down, your bank account goes down as well.Keep a record of any and all interactions with customer support. Dates, times, what was spoken about, and most importantly, names. Don’t assume they’re taking care of things. You will really want these records handy if it comes to court.Finally, always keep learning. I don’t want to deal with any of this. I want to just use my stupid phone and go on with my life without incident. But so long as I am stuck in the situation, I might as well gain as much knowledge as I can. So Small Claims Court, time to begin the process of figuring out how you work. I hope to never see you again… but it’ll be nice to know that if I do, I won’t be starting from scratch.

May we all manage to go through life without problems… but when we do, we should be blessed with the right knowledge, attitude, and support system to make sure what happens next is not a small taste of hell.

Now wish me luck. I’m going to need it!

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Suffering is Real in Ukraine

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Russia has invaded Ukraine. The world is topsy turvy, replete with suffering. And I sit comfortably in my Jerusalem apartment, while society burns down from a distance. Helpless. Again.

Trying to get some semblance of an understanding of what the hell is happening.

My Faceless Job

Sometimes I don’t appreciate what happens throughout the course of my workday.

By the time the day is over, I will have communicated with dozens of people. But to me, they are faceless. They have no personalities. No likes, no dislikes. There is no family history.

I don’t know how their day was before they wrote in to me. And I don’t know anything about how the rest of their day will look either.

But just imagine for a moment who these people could be!

One moment I could be chatting with a Brazilian entrepreneur. The next a Taiwanese woman who runs a non-profit designed to help starving, underprivileged children. And moments later I could be going back and forth with some sly scammer from Myanmar, trying to convey to him that there is little to no hope they will ever be allowed access to their account again.

The faceless computer pixels in front of me could have just gotten married. Or divorced. Or jumped out of a plane. Or cured a disease. Or just hid their twelfth victim in their basement. And meanwhile, I’m just solving their relatively insignificant email marketing problems, the whole time completely unaware of the world happening on the other side of that computer conversation.

Real People, Real Suffering

Then Covid began.

And people started feeling a lot more real to me.

One day someone’s requesting a discount, because their business is falling apart. Entertainment, hotels, restaurants, travel bloggers, and so many more. The next day, some need to take a break. Others need to scale back their undertakings. And some others had to bid a permanent farewell to their business. Their lifelong dream was now a thing of the past.

And despite the fact that empathy is extremely challenging on a computer screen, I was saddened on a day-to-day basis. I felt so much pain for what people were going through. For the lives and livelihoods damaged by the disease, or the measures taken to mitigate its spread.

It was actually quite helpful for me. I remained gainfully employed through the duration of the crisis. I worked from home before everything began, and just stayed that way afterwards. No problem. Just a relatively small inconvenience.

For me.

When that happens it’s shockingly easy to forget what’s happening around you. It’s easy to overlook destroyed lives and shattered dreams.

But I was fortunate that my job kept me grounded. Not a day went by in which I wasn’t reminded by a customer of the pain they felt, of the massive disruption their lives had received. And I’m grateful, because it had such a great impact on how I looked at the world around me. It’s so much harder to ignore suffering that’s happening right in front of you.

Backwards Russia

And here we go again. The Russian government would like to demonstrate to the world that they don’t care about growth. They don’t care about history moving forward.

We would like to think of the world as more enlightened than it used to be. Barbarians don’t raid villages anymore. Savages don’t invade other countries, killing whoever stands in their way.

But there are still a few countries left in this crazy world that haven’t accepted the new world order. And Russia represents one of the most backwards of the batch.

But despite recognizing the insanity of their invasion, and understanding the enormous implications this can have on the entire world, I still didn’t feel what was happening. It still felt like the world was quiet, and any danger was too distant to matter directly in my life.

Until a work email came through.

Ukraine Realizations

A Ukranian customer needed to pause his account due to the situation in Ukraine. His business was non-functional, and the suffering was beyond real. And all of a sudden, something clicked in my brain that wasn’t there beforehand.

The horrors of war became something I could no longer ignore. My defense mechanisms were shattered.

I started picturing what it would be like to feel the ground shake, to look outside your window and see a missile landed on a building just a five-minute walk from your home. There’s commotion, people running in every direction, screaming, with flames reaching way up into the sky.

But it’s not just a horrifying sight. The missiles are still coming in Ukraine. The next one could land on your home, or close enough that burning hot shrapnel could get wedged into your stomach or thigh.

And absolutely nothing about your life will ever be anywhere near to normal again.

Your family could be destroyed. Friends and relatives lost forever. Or damaged beyond repair, physically or psychologically.

The Flip was Switched

I immediately reached out to a friend, a Couch Surfer who lives in Ukraine, to check on her. Because the suffering worlds away from me had suddenly felt like it was in my backyard.

And since then I haven’t stopped thinking about how complicated the world is, and how simple it is to dismiss things so far out of our immediate reach.

Another piece of my job that’s relevant here are sanctions. There are a small handful of countries or regions with governmental sanctions upon them. What a joke of a system! We can’t sell a website or an email marketing plan to some poor soul in Syria just trying to make a buck, because of actions by a tyrannical government. What’s the logic? A random person will knock on their leaders’ doors and convince them their policies are hurting the country?

If that really is the logic, I think we as a society have a long way to go before we can truly understand what’s going on in the insane mind of a Vladimir Putin. If a violent dictator wants to wage a barbaric and ill-designed war, words and threats and unhappy citizens won’t stop them.

No One Wants This

It’s so easy to forget: The Russian people don’t want this war either, and they’re suffering too. Yet I feel like there’s an eery air of indiscriminate anti-Russian sentiment right now, as if some truck driver in St. Petersberg really feels some angst toward the people of Ukraine.

No, right now there’s a world of suffering. Ukranians and Russians will both be harmed by all of this, for years to come. And unchecked dictators will continue to do their thing, without concern for the lives stepped on in the process.

We’re not doing enough, that’s for sure. But no one has yet to figure out a solution that actually solves problems. Or even really improves upon matters.

I pray to God we find those solutions fast. So many lives are at stake. And we can’t just sit back and hope matters resolve themselves. They won’t. They rarely do. And the longer we wait, the worse everything will be.

We can't just sit back and hope matters resolve themselves. They won't. They rarely do. And the longer we wait, the worse everything will be.
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Joe Rogan and the “Power” of Words

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With the recent Joe Rogan “controversy” heating up, I couldn’t help but recall this story:

When I was working in education, I taught an English class at a super-religious high school. There were a lot of odd and memorable moments along the way, but none as unforgettable as an incident regarding my vocabulary book.

The administration requested that I figure out which words in the book should be deemed offensive, and I should grab a marker and go through every book of every student and cross those words out. I don’t remember too many of the words they felt were problematic, but I seem to recall the words “celibate” and “erotic” being on the list.

I flat-out refused.

Words, Words, and More Words

First of all, the task was ridiculous. They were not paying me nearly enough to spend tens of hours going through scores of books doing the ultimate in meaningless chores. Second of all, I banked on their poor memory. I assumed they would eventually forget the request.

(They did.)

Third of all, nothing would make the students care about these words more than if the words were covered with marker. All of a sudden they’d be holding their books up to the light, trying to figure out what they are, and these would become the biggest mainstays of their vocabulary. Like telling a child not to look in the box. Curiosity just creates excitement, not avoidance. Quite the opposite, in fact!

Are Words Offensive?

Finally, and most importantly, there are no such things as inherently offensive words. Words are basically meaningless without context. And a lack of familiarity with a word, leads to ignorance and an inability to properly function in our crazy world. After all, you can’t despise a word you don’t know exists!

Can “erotic” or “celibate” be used in an offensive way? Sure can. But so can firetruck. “The orgy in the firetruck went on for six hours, until the captain came and told everyone the party was over.” But we’re not about to go ahead and abandon the word, because it was the context that gave the word its meaning.

“The man spent hours studying and exercising, working hard every day to avoid all erotic thoughts.” “The boy remained celibate until he got married at age 28.” Poof. Two words that are no longer offensive, and two sentences worth being knowledgeable enough to understand.

Joe Rogan and the N-Word

Why am I bringing this story up?

Because recently someone I respect and admire came under attack for the use of a word, which I will deem “the N-word”. Now, I’m going to argue that he was using the word inoffensively and appropriately. Is it thus hypocritical for me to not just write it out, since I too will only be using the terminology inoffensively and appropriately? Maybe. I can certainly see the argument. Nevertheless, I don’t curse. Not out loud, nor in the written form. I just don’t. I’ve been that way for over a couple of decades. And it won’t change in this here post. That’s a personal choice, one I try to stick to at all times.

But this doesn’t change the fact that context matters with word choices.

Over the course of many years and hundreds of interviews, Joe Rogan used the N-word repeatedly. In every single instance, in context the average listener would not be bothered by what they heard. But out of context, just about anyone would be. But what are words taken out of context? They are just miserable attempts to make someone look bad. To portray someone not as they truly are.

Is Joe Rogan a Racist?

So some loser with way too much free time crawled through thousands of hours of podcasts with the sole intention of attacking someone and trying to portray them as a racist?

In what world should the criticism be placed upon Joe Rogan? I’ve been watching from up close as his podcast has changed people’s lives time and time again. He’s brought awareness to incredibly important topics ranging from mistreatment of animals to depression to head injuries in sports. He’s motivated people to make their lives better. He does it for me all the time. And he does so in one of the most unbiased formats I’ve seen.

I am not a racist. I find racism absurd and anachronistic. And yet I can say with confidence that whatever shreds of bias I still have floating around my soul, I think Rogan has fewer. I think he’s as un-racist as a person could be in 2022. And that is something we all could and should be inspired by.

Who’s the Bad Guy Here?

But what about the nerd who compiled this video? What’d he do to make the world a better place?

He blatantly attempted to disrupt a platform that causes joy to scores of people and improves the lives of countless people struggling with the many challenges of this crazy world. He erroneously presented the most popular podcaster in the world as a racist, no doubt stirring up feelings of (minimally) discomfort in the hearts of many people who would like to live in a world that doesn’t disapprove of them just because of the color of their skin.

The “compiler” made people uncomfortable and attempted to damage the career of someone undeserving of their angst. You only do such things if you’re a sociopath or if you are trying to solve what you consider to be a problem, and you believe the ends always justify the means.

Spoiler: They don’t. And your “ends” are asinine as well.

What About Redemption?

And you know what else you did wrong today, you arrogant fool? You denied humanity the ability to self-correct. To redeem themselves. To become better people.

Long before the video ever surfaced, Rogan had already changed how he spoke. He made a personal decision that there was a better way to express himself. You know what that’s called? Personal growth. Did he need to change what he was doing? That’s debatable. I don’t personally believe so, but apparently, he did. And that shouldn’t be something mocked or scorned. No! That should be something celebrated and emulated by all of us. Personal growth should never be discouraged. And past ways should rarely be used to disparage those who wish to improve themselves.

Personal growth should never be discouraged. And past ways should rarely be used to disparage those who wish to improve themselves.
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Listen: Joe Rogan certainly doesn’t need me to come to his defense. In fact, he doesn’t need anyone to come to his defense. I truly believe that the best thing for him to do is to just keep moving forward. To keep being himself. It’s gotten him this far, and it will continue to get him much further. He should serve as an example to all of us, to succeed at being who we are and not who society is pushing us to be.

I look forward to the storm blowing over completely.

And to the sunshine that is left behind.

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Whoopi Goldberg and the Right to be Wrong

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“Shut up and watch your every word.” This seems to be a major theme of our current generation, and one that will end poorly for all of us.

Whoopi Goldberg recently said something stupid. It’s not the first time. I seriously doubt it will be the last time. But I think it’s Whoopi Goldberg’s God-given right to say as many idiotic things as she damn well pleases, and I hope no one ever in any way takes that right away from her.

Cancel culture is really problematic. It leaves people with a disturbing “walking on eggshells” feeling that produces a lesser product.

Let me explain.

The Freedom to Teach

When I was teaching, my supervisors often made me feel very watched. Like I had to weigh carefully every single word that came out of my mouth, and if I wasn’t careful even one time, my job could be on the line. Imagine how that looks. I’m in front of a classroom tens of hours every week, not to mention emails and phone calls with parents and all the other blah blah that teachers have to do. What are the odds that I’ll never have a word leave my lips that might upset or offend someone? It’s damn near impossible!

Some of my most memorable moments as a teacher were when I was leaving one of my jobs. At that point, there’s nothing the institution can take away from you, so with the chains broken and on the ground, you become free to speak as you please. That freedom can be felt in every bone in your body, and very clearly translates into the experience students are having. Everyone wins!

The Power of Risks

Will mistakes happen? Your damn right they will. And that’s a great and beautiful thing!

The world has been improved upon time and again by people who’ve taken tremendous risks. And we should all be encouraged, each and every day of our lives, to take as many risks as possible.

You know what happens when we don’t?

Absolutely nothing.

And that’s the point.

Societies grow and develop on the shoulders of those daring enough to take risks. And they are held back when people are stifled. It’s why so much more innovation will always come from a country like the US than the likes of a North Korea. If you want nothing to be accomplished, by all means, scrutinize every word and action of your citizens.

Societies grow and develop on the shoulders of those daring enough to take risks.
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Whoopi Goldberg and the Right to be Wrong

Whoopi Goldberg’s statements were a wild combination of free-flowing thoughts, speculation of an ignorant non-intellectual, and a clear demonstration of lack of historical data. And you know what people like that get to do?

They get to write books. They get to perform on stages across the world. They get to vote and carry guns and sleep with their neighbors’ wives and even reach out to a few thousand housewives on The View. Why? Because that’s what freedom looks like. It’s not freedom to be intelligent and informed. And thank God it’s not! Because the moment it is, then someone is out there defining “intelligent” and “informed”, and it’s a slippery slope until our freedoms are stripped away from us, one piece at a time.

If freedom doesn’t include the ability to say stupid things, it’s not even close to freedom.

A Divided World

We live in an increasingly divided world. For every issue, there are two opposing sides, and it seems that people who hold those sides cannot be friendly with the others. And civilized discourse is unfathomable.

And there’s no grey area in between, no attempt to hear the others out, and no sympathy for beliefs other than your own.

And it’s so very peculiar to me.

Someone could be bothered by one person coming under attack for their views, and simultaneously push to have another person de-platformed. But they’re missing the irony in what they’re doing.

When you call for the cancellation of anyone, you are already undermining the concept of free speech. And you are putting a small crack in the foundation of our society, one that can easily widen and destroy everything we’ve worked so hard to build.

I don’t want Whoopi Goldberg canceled. Or Bill Maher. Or Joe Rogan. Or the thousands of others coming under attack every day. Who knows? Perhaps if I had more of a name or influence, I’d be under attack as well.

Stand Your Ground

I would hope that under those circumstances I would stand my ground. I would unapologetically defend my right to free speech, and go down swinging, rather than offer a half-assed apology that will appease nobody.

We’ve all seen this time and again. When a bloodthirsty mob is trying to take from you everything you have, your apologies are meaningless. Those who support you, don’t need the apology. In fact, they don’t want it. They want you to stand strong in your perspective. They want you to dig your heels into the ground and strongly stand up for what’s right. And those who are trying to break you have no forgiveness in their heart. You wronged them once, and you are eternally dead to them.

So where do we stand?

What to do with Whoopi?

There are only a few ways things can go from this point onward. Whoopi Goldberg can be permanently removed from her role. This would be a tragic blow to free speech, and would just serve as a warning to everyone that they are one “mistake” away from getting tossed to the curb.

She can return, but with the oppressive knowledge on her shoulders that she’s being watched and her time is limited, should she slip again.

Or society can grow the hell up and realize that when we are robbed of our innate right to say what comes to mind, life is better for everyone.

Trust Me: You’re Next

If you’re trying to constantly shut people up who have upset you with their words, just note that we are all flawed beings. At some point words will slip from our lips that upset someone. Or are just blatantly wrong. And the angry and empowered mob will come to shut you down as well. And no one will be there to come to your aid, because you robbed the masses of their power, will, and dignity.

Or we can all, once again, reclaim our freedom of speech. And we can learn to listen to one another, with a healthy skepticism and a proud willingness to accept that others feel differently than we do. And that’s OK. That’s the way it’s supposed to be.

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Together Now, Together Forever (5 Reasons Why)

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It’s a funny thing, annual anniversary posts. In some ways, they get harder and harder to write each year. With each passing year, so much of life’s little things can easily interfere with the exciting and meaningful process of bonding together with another person.

And it’s been a bit exaggerated in our thoroughly peculiar times, since for two-thirds of our marriage, the world was basically stopped dead in its tracks. It’s not that we’ve done nothing. We’ve done a lot, both separately and as a couple. Life is moving forward. Stories are occurring and fond memories are being created. But so much of life’s pleasures have been either downplayed or outright damaged.

The World Came to a Halt[image error]

I love hosting. Whether it was Couch Surfers in the days or random people I met who we decided to have over for a Shabbat lunch, my home always seemed to be filled with people… And now it’s filled with three people (and a dog). And the guests have run dry.

I used to hate travel. Devorah yanked me in and made me appreciate the smells of Brussels and the splendor of Vienna… before borders closed and life as we knew it came to a halt.

At the beginning of this bizarre pandemic, there was mass speculation that the divorce rates would spike across the world. People would, for the first time in their marriages, be forced to (gasp!) spend full days and weeks and months with their significant others, woefully underprepared for what that meant. And then the depressing Facebook posts would begin. Instead of Wordle updates and people showing their antigen tests, we’d be seeing people advertising for the world to see that they were now happily divorced.

I don’t know if the mass marriage exodus ever occurred. I certainly hope not and it doesn’t feel that way. But I can tell you this. Nothing budged in the Jaffe household.

And why is that?

Why do we still look at each other lovingly? Why was I not worried a pandemic would shatter our foundations and make our union crumble beneath us?

So many reasons!

But today I want to speak about five.

1) My Favorite Conversation Partner[image error]

Devorah is still my favorite person to chat with. We can easily talk for hours into the night. In the good ole days of dating, sleep felt like a thing of the past. There was so much to discover about each other! Who has time for smashing your head against the pillow?

But as the years go by, it’s easy to assume the conversations are going to run dry. We know what each other is thinking. We live together and work from home, so we don’t need to update each other at the end of the day. And to be frank, the last two years have not exactly been action-packed. Hard to have a deep conversation about sitting indoors and waiting for a pandemic to end…

Nevertheless, we’re still talking up a storm. And we’re still loving it!

2) Loving to Laugh Together[image error]

And part of the reason the conversations are still so enjoyable is because they’re often filled with so much laughter. So whether we’re unpacking a weekend with the kids or trying to figure out what to do about dinner or we’re trying to pinpoint what was so abysmal about the final episode of How I Met Your Mother, we’re smiling and laughing and having a great time together.

I love Devorah’s laugh and I love making her laugh. And it certainly doesn’t hurt that this crazy lady enjoys my sense of humor. It’s a fantastic combination! And leads to a positive and enjoyable life. I hope we laugh together forever and ever!

3) Through Good Times, and Bad Times[image error]

But life isn’t always easy. Days can be long and hard, and when times are tough, it’s good to know you have a partner to work with you through the challenges.

And I couldn’t even imagine a better partner to have by my side.

Whether it’s helping me deal with broken phones or hugging me through a stressful morning, Devorah’s always got my back. When a tear needs to be shed, hers is the shoulder I want to cry on. And I know it’s always there, waiting for me, to comfort me and help me along to the next day.

And there is no one in the world I want to be there more than my Devorah.

4) Growing and Learning Together[image error]

There’s also no one I want to grow alongside of.

It’s well documented that I fear what happens when a couple isn’t growing together. It’s the biggest secret of a strong, long-term marriage. You either grow together, or you grow apart. But growth is inevitable.

And for two people who love learning and gaining new skills as much as we do, it’s arguably even more complex. Most people are different people every few years. But we’re liable to be new people after just a few days! It’s hard to keep up with.

But it’s a beautiful and pleasant ride when you enjoy your travel partner this much.

I look forward to learning and growing together for the rest of my days!

It's the biggest secret of a strong, long-term marriage. You either grow together, or you grow apart. But growth is inevitable.
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5) It’s Just Right, Damnit

But when all the smoke clears, sometimes it’s something philosophical, or even spiritual, that makes sure to be the superglue holding a couple tightly together.

Sometimes you look up to the sky and just know in your heart of hearts you made the right decision, and at the end of the day, everything is going to be alright.

And sometimes weird “signs” poke their noses into your business in a wacky and repeated way that can only be called one thing: “spooky”.

253 Revisited[image error]

For those who don’t know, while Devorah and I were dating, I made the bizarre discovery that the numerical value of each our Hebrew names was identical (253). Statistically miraculous. But ultimately meaningless, in and of itself. Not a reason to marry someone, to be sure. But really interesting. And noteworthy. And, as already stated, rather spooky.

But that would be all fine and good by itself. But this enigmatic number seems to be following us around everywhere we go, like we’re in some wild science fiction series (yes, I’m talking about you Manifest!). The most dramatic examples involved hotel rooms we’ve stayed in. In fact, the only two hotel rooms we’ve stayed in since our wedding night. In New York, we stayed in room 506 (253 x 2) and at the Dead Sea we stayed in room 759 (253 x3… on our third anniversary).

What could you say about this? Honestly, I have no idea. At all. Seriously, none. Is something or someone trying to send us a message? Perhaps. What the hell do I know?

All I can say is: It’s not even needed. This is just sugar-free icing on the gluten-free cake. I don’t need numbers to realize I married the right person.

Isn’t it just obvious?

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January: The Month from Hell

Enjoy!

Ever have a month like this?

January started with a bang. We discovered on the first of the month that we all had Covid, and then needed to endure a mindless quarantine for ten days, since we got infected before… it was cool… and before they reduced the quarantine requirements.

And you know it’s a rough January when getting Covid is the highlight!

What happened next?

The Army Strikes Again

My son had to travel about an hour away at 6AM for some activities in preparation for the army. We contacted the place the day before to make sure everything was all fine and good. There wouldn’t be any complications at all. Even asked if the recent Covid diagnosis would be a problem and were told it wouldn’t.

My amazingly kind wife brought Shlomo there first thing in the morning. He was there for three hours… before they sent him and another dozen or so boys packing. Why? Because they wouldn’t allow you to participate if you had Covid in the last 30 days.

He then spent the next two hours on three buses and a train, having accomplished absolutely nothing. So not only did he waste a chunk of his life, but this day was essential for him to attain his preferred position in the IDF. But here’s where it gets really bad. He could always go to the next session. Except for the small fact that it’s in October, and he starts his service in August!

Now he’s left with (basically) two cruddy choices: Forfeit the role he has been really hoping to do in the army. Or defer his service until December, which would mean starting his service when he’s already 19.

So, January’s off to a rockin’ start for the Jaffe clan. But wait, there’s more!

Rear-Ended (Again!)

Not long after, my wife was rear-ended. Now, I know this might sound like a familiar tale. Well, when you live in a place in which people drive with one hand holding a Turkish coffee, the other a cigarette and a cellphone, and they’re cursing at everyone on the road, it’s not terribly surprising that some folk inadvertently miss that the car right in front of them is not yet moving.

And yeah, the guy was cordial. Repairs were fairly quick and easy, and the guy didn’t put up much of a fight, but it’s all one giant hassle no one in their right mind would want to deal with.

But cars are like crap magnets. They suck in problems, relentlessly and indiscriminately. So it should be no surprise that right around the same time, some damage the car had gotten years earlier reached a critical moment in which it started allowing lots of water to get into the vehicle. Just in time for Jerusalem to start getting pummeled with rain!

Have you ever contemplated how challenging it might be if your car were soaked through? I don’t suggest thinking about it too much. You’ll get a headache. But put simply, it ain’t easy. And it ain’t cheap. And it’s a gift that never seems to want to stop giving.

But wait. There’s more!

A Cold, Cold January

Jerusalem just got cold. I mean, crazy cold.

And the other morning we woke up to find out no water was coming out of our hot-water faucet. There were messages galore on the local WhatsApp group about hot water heaters all along our roof with caps that burst. We had to shut down the water in our home and wait until the afternoon when someone could come out and fix the problem.

Apparently this was a problem throughout Jerusalem and the surrounding areas. These boilers were not designed to withstand such extreme cold, and caps were bursting and water was spraying all over the place. If it weren’t a tragic waste of time, money, and extremely valuable water, it would actually be comical. But it wasn’t funny at all. And there is nothing at all amusing or pleasant about what needs to happen in a home when the water is off the whole day.

But it ended. We have a great plumber. He came and saved the day… until just a few days later when one of our old pipes burst on the roof the following Shabbat, and it felt like we needed to start all over again. But this time the repairs were much more involved, and it resulted in a very not-welcome dispute with our landlords. We love our plumber, but he’s pricey. However, he’s literally the only person who has ever done repairs of any kind in our home that were comprehensive enough that problems didn’t arise again just a matter of days later.

Isn’t it worth spending the extra money if what’s fixed actually works and stays that way?

In any case, this is how my 2022 started.

What to Learn from my January

January was a month in which I actually said things like, “I have a piece of glass stuck in my foot… and I’m still having the best day of anyone in this house.”

So what happens now?

Well, for one, I always have to remember one of my base philosophies: Tomorrow is another day.

I came to look at January as a cursed month, and a friend teased me, as if there is some magical power to a month. Which is obviously not something I believe at all. But I do believe thinking of aspects of life as units that can come to an end is very important for my own sanity. It means that I can close a door and put the matter behind me. And I can open up a new door and start with a fresh new perspective.

So yes, January was not a great month for me. It was rough and painful. But like all things, it will come to an end. And I get a fresh new start.

Screw You, January

Furthermore, everything is getting worked out. My family and I are safe, healthy, and happy. My son will figure everything out with the army. The car is fixed, dry, and shlepping us around the city once again. We have water, hot showers, and still have a great relationship with our landlords and plumber. And my foot feels fine too!

It’s hard not to be upset when the world seems to be crashing down on your head. But then February pokes its head in and says, “Screw you, January. I’m here to make life amazing once again!”

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UFC: The Idiot’s Guide (5 Tips)

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I first heard about mixed martial arts and the UFC years before I became a fan. I didn’t really know what to think about it. I knew in theory that I liked martial arts, but I didn’t really have an understanding of how drastically they had evolved since I was a kid.

You see, when I was younger I attended Tae Kwon Do classes. I was successful. Got a few belts and trophies here and there. I practiced my little dance sessions, and thought I was learning to be a badass.

But I was by no means a badass. I suffered from confusion brought on by a cheesy version of something special, a gimmick designed to make maximal money by charlatans and the not-so-talented.

Confusion at the JCC

This still exists to this day. Just a few years ago a couple of my kids took karate classes at a local JCC. The classes were a straight-up joke. The students weren’t taught form or how to generate power. They weren’t corrected when they were doing something wrong. And they were building a misguided confidence that could legitimately get them hurt someday.

And it got worse when we arrived at the belt ceremonies. At these utterly boring (and expensive) displays of mediocre talent, children would dance around and break boards for hours, with scores of parents looking on, trying desperately not to fall asleep. If the kids couldn’t break their board, they were given a new board or they were given the opportunity to use a different limb to break the board. Ultimately, it would snap. A belt was given. Everyone got their participation trophy.

And parents went broke while a bunch of sorry senseis danced home clutching their newfound cash.

Consequently, I was a bit jaded about the term “martial arts”. So it was totally unexpected when the day would come when I would become a hardcore fan, rattling off fighter statistics and debating fine details of the rules of the sport. When I would go week after week to sports bars and jump up from my seat whenever crazy things would happen.

But there was a definite learning curve. And I wanted to make that same learning curve a bit easier for anyone else getting their feet wet in this phenomenal sport. Here are five things a UFC beginner may not yet know:

1) UFC and MMA are not synonyms

MMA stands for Mixed Martial Arts. It’s the name of the actual sport itself. UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship) is the most popular MMA promotion in the world.

Everyone in America associates professional football with the NFL. What’s the second biggest promotion? Honestly, I have no idea. I’m not even sure if there is a different one. But MMA is to the UFC what football is to the NFL. The difference is there are tons of other MMA promotions out there too. They’re not as big and famous as the UFC yet, but many are quite popular and really great as well. In fact, I’ve been to three live MMA events so far, and they were all in a promotion called Bellator. And they were all awesome!

2) One Person’s Boring…

When you don’t know what’s going on, there are lots of things you might at first find quite dull. One person’s boring is another person’s exciting. If you don’t like wrestling or you don’t quite understand the beauty and rigor of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, what you see might look like two grown men tussling on the floor like teenage brothers. With a little knowledge, and maybe even a little experience, you start to see details you never thought you could. And that’s when you also begin to see the complexity and the artistic nature of what’s happening.

You should never forget that the word “arts” of Mixed Martial Arts is chosen very intentionally. When you know what’s going on, you see something spectacular. When you don’t, you just find yourself scratching your head at what’s on the TV.

One person's boring is another person's exciting.
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3) There are a whole lot of rules, and they’re changing all the time

In its earliest days, people accused the sport of Mixed Martial Arts of being like the wild west. There were no rules and it was terribly unsafe. And they weren’t entirely wrong.

In the first major UFC event, one of the most iconic images was someone on the ground getting kicked in the face, and their tooth flying through the air. The sport was fun… but it was a brutal mess.

And now, in many ways, it’s the opposite. There are lots of rules. Some are simple (no groin shots), some are quite complex (no 12-6 elbows). Some are different between promotions, some change depending on the location of the event. And many are still evolving.

And that really is the main point. The sport is still quite young, and people are working diligently all the time to keep the sport as entertaining as possible, while both protecting the fighters and maintaining the sport’s integrity.

It can be confusing, but with a little introduction, most onlookers can nail the main rules and quickly appreciate what’s happening.

4) Whole Lot of Champions

Before I was a UFC fan, I read an article in a health magazine about the champion. Later, when I became a big fan, I watched a fight with the champion… but it was someone different. I was a little confused, but I assumed one had beaten the other and won the title. However, I later found out that not only were they both the champion, but there were many others as well.

In fact, currently in the UFC alone there can be as many as twelve champions at the same time (eight men, four women). It’s all based on weight classes, and most fighters are locked into a weight class and don’t explore the other worlds too much. On rare occasions, some fight in more than one weight class and have even been champions in two simultaneously.

So, really, there is no “the” champion. There are a whole lot of them!

5) The Non-Linear Road to the Top

And speaking of champions, the path to getting there is not as simple as you might think.

In most sports, there is a fairly straightforward method for how athletes or teams climb to the top and get their shot at the championship. And that’s not at all the case in the UFC. It couldn’t be more confusing!

Who gets the title shot? In theory, it should be the #1 contender. The one who has beaten everyone else and climbed the rankings to get there.

In actuality, the person who gets the shot could be based on countless details. Availability. Injuries. How recently they fought. Their record. If they’re on a win streak. If it would be a good and exciting matchup. And, of course, the popularity and pull of the challenger.

And that last one is no joke. Someone can actually talk their way into a title fight even if they are logically undeserving. Why? Because people want to see it. The more eyes, the more cash. And then anything can happen.

It’s one of the more confusing elements of the sport. Although, sometimes it’s what makes it crazy fun.

So in short, there’s a lot to learn when starting out and trying to appreciate this amazing relatively new athletic competition. So forget what you thought you knew about martial arts, grab a beer and some pretzels, and join me for the adventure. Give it a few fights. You’re bound to get as hooked as I am!

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