David Andrew Jaffe's Blog, page 20

Revisiting the Toothpaste Conundrum

Enjoy!

[image error]

Confession: I am a big, fat hypocrite.

Well, maybe not so much a hypocrite as someone who might need to seriously re-think previously held beliefs.

You see, three years ago I wrote my third blog post (!), Marriage: Separate Paths to Nowhere, which included these words:

Now, a surprisingly large amount of people have asked me for marriage advice over the years. I find the request bizarre, since I would think I’d be the last person to know how to make a marriage work. And generally I only feel comfortable giving these three simple words of advice:

Separate. Toothpaste. Tubes.

This is both a giant metaphor… and also quite literal.

You see, the toothpaste tube is something that people have been using their whole life, multiple times a day. They’ve become accustomed to a certain way of using it, and they are by no means ready to change their habits. Some squeeze from the bottom, some from the middle. Some throw it out when it’s near empty, some will manage to eke out of there a whole extra week. And some close the cap like they want to permanently trap the toothpaste, and others are annoyed that a stupid cap is slowing them down all the time.

Then they marry. And they share tubes. But they never speak up, because who cares about a stupid toothpaste tube? And as time goes by, resentment builds in the smallest doses, until this one dumb thing results in a full-blown fight. And it all could have been prevented… by having separate tubes!

The simple message: Small things matter. They just take longer to be real problems. And it’s downright silly to let small things get out of control when prevention is so utterly simple.

My Toothpaste Confession

My confession: My wife and I have been married for almost two years now… and we share the same toothpaste tube!

I know what you’re thinking.

Horror! How could you, Jaffe? You know this doesn’t end well. It’s completely irresponsible!

Now, I could take the easy way out.

I could just say everything fits because we click on the three main issues. We’re both bottom squeezers. We both use every last drop of that stuff. And we’re both really good about making sure the cap’s on tightly after usage.

Advice Upgrade

But it’s a copout answer, if you consider everything I said earlier. Perhaps one of us is compromising on our toothpaste values to try and preserve our union longer. Maybe Devorah wants to throw that thing out weeks before I do, or perhaps I’m a closet squeeze-the-middle freak. And each and every day resentment is silently building in our hearts. How can we ignore our own wants and needs on a daily basis? This will never end well.

Well, I’ll say this right off the bat: I still agree with my original advice. Having separate tubes will, in most circumstances, prevent little issues and minor resentment. It’s a good long-term strategy. And, as it is also a metaphor, I’d say the words retain their initial strength. There are so many little things that if left unaddressed could become bad or even destroy a relationship.

But the original advice needs an upgrade. It needs to be revisited after two years of contemplation of why neither of us has beaten the other to death with our toothpaste tubes.

The Big Picture

My working theory is that the little things are easier to overlook when the big picture of the relationship is powerfully intact. If your values are still strongly connected, the conversations together are still interesting and plentiful, and you continue to have abundant amounts of fun together, it’s significantly easier to look past minor irritants. So even if she (like a psycho) were to just leave the toothpaste tube cap somewhere else on the counter, I might be able to just put that thing back on and move on with my day without any frustration.

Now, I said “might” in that previous sentence, because I don’t know. It could be that if I were to do that every day for a couple of years, it would eventually turn me into a Hulk-esque rage monster. And I’d rampage through my home breaking things while shouting about toothpaste caps. It could also be that long ago I would have just purchased another tube and moved on like there was never anything that bothered me.

But I’d like to believe that the problem was solved the day I married the right person. That somehow when that first decision was well-considered and two people truly love one another, the trivial grievances get buried under heaping piles of love and care. Or that problems get solved seamlessly, and just fall to the side like they were nothing, never to come back to haunt the relationship again.

So what does this mean for me?

Nugget of Toothpaste Wisdom

Is my whole life philosophy completely incorrect? I have been spouting my toothpaste nonsense for years. Many have told me I was ridiculous and didn’t know what I was talking about. Others thanked me for the sage wisdom.

I had a friend who basically said she and her significant other had circumvented the system by purchasing a toothpaste they both loved that didn’t even use a tube. And she was proud to prove me wrong… until one day he traveled for business and took the toothpaste with him. And she spent her day without fresh breath.

Perhaps there is still a nugget of wisdom left in my words.

Separate Toothpaste Tubes Revisited

But my current situation gives me hope for a better world than the one I’ve been envisioning for so long. A marriage that can be damaged by something so trivial is probably not a marriage worth being in.

Perhaps a life exists with quality communication, where separate toothpaste tubes is something that sometimes works, and other times everyone can share and be happy. And when little things creep up, they are dealt with calmly, intelligently, and in a loving manner, so they don’t slowly erode the beautiful view.

May we all be blessed with such a life!

***

*Enjoying? Sign up for email updates and never miss a new post again!

*Enjoying my writing? Check out my eBooks!

The post Revisiting the Toothpaste Conundrum is featured at Jaffe World.

My Aunt Lynn (1946-2020), Not a Regular Person

Enjoy!

Just a few weeks ago, my family received the tragic news that my Aunt Lynn had passed away.

I’m quite a sensitive person, and in general mortality has always baffled me. But this was particularly jarring for two main reasons.

Shockingly Sudden

First, it was shockingly sudden. An illness Lynn had conquered crept back into her life several years later, and her status went from unclear, to having only months left, to having only days left in an uncommonly short span.

And then she was gone. No opportunity to reach out, no chance to say last words.

No Closure in 2020

And then there’s the issue of closure. When my grandmother was taken from us, we had a lovely ceremony. There were guests and speeches. We got to hug one another, comfort one another. For certain it was devastating, but we had ways to cope. We had ways to memorialize someone so precious to all of us.

But Covid has once again robbed us of something that should be a given in our lives. I want to say goodbye. I need to say goodbye. And the best I can do is what I’m writing right now.

So here’s my attempt.

The Last Time I Would See My Aunt

When I got hired for my current job at GoDaddy, they insisted on flying me into their main offices in Arizona for an orientation. I had no idea why. I would be at their headquarters for less than 24 hours, and it would be the first and last time I would ever step foot in those offices, considering shortly afterwards I would be moving back to Israel.

But I decided to take advantage of the brief trip and while I was in Arizona, I went out to dinner with my aunt and uncle. And we had an absolutely lovely time together.

For certain I had no idea it would be the last time I would ever see my Aunt Lynn.

I am forever grateful, because I’m not even sure what was the last time I saw her before that trip. The last twenty years are such a blur to me. Different states, different countries. Anybody I’ve managed to stay in touch with is a wonder. But if I hadn’t taken advantage of that moment to see and hug my wonderful aunt, I would be overpowered with regrets now. Now my only regret is I didn’t figure out a way to stay longer!

My Aunt, Not a Regular Person

And then there’s our last conversation.

I remember vividly the last time I spoke with my Aunt Lynn. I had recently published my fourth book, Health and Fitness… for Regular People. I was advertising it like crazy for a bit and she wanted to talk to me about it.

Aunt Lynn stressed that the book wasn’t meant for her. Why? Because she was not a “regular person”. She was an athlete. An avid ice skater, still going strong into her 70s. Nothing regular about that!

And she was absolutely correct. Most people these days live sedentary lives. Yes, of course I’m referring to their eight-hour desk jobs. But that’s just the beginning! They get to those jobs in their cars, return home in their cars, and then spend their time on the couch, at the kitchen table, and in bed.

Some aspects of their lives leave them with no choice but to be on their butts for hours. The rest do not.

So if you’re an athlete, you are by no means regular. And if you’re an athlete into your eightieth decade on this planet, well that’s another story entirely! You definitely get to not be considered “regular”!

And I’m so glad that the last conversation I had with my aunt wasn’t just chit chat. Rather, she was able to inspire me, and inspire me in a topic that is extremely meaningful to me. I am so blessed that the last thing my aunt would ever do for me was remind me that age is a mirage. We can do so much more than we could ever imagine. The only limits we have are those we create for ourselves!

Never Got to Say Goodbye

My last communications with my aunt were on WhatsApp. If I could go back in time, I would not have let the chat come to an end. We could never have known what the future would hold, but I would have done everything in my power to not let the messages come to any natural conclusion. I would have talked and talked right up until the moment when we couldn’t talk any longer.

When I found out she was sick, I had strong hopes that I would be able to communicate with her, even if it were simply a little bit. I sent along a text just letting her know that I loved her and cared about her very much.

But WhatsApp never indicated that she saw my message.

Goodbye, Aunt Lynn

So I sit here in Jerusalem, not able to go and cry over a gravestone. Not able to listen to beautiful words said at my aunt’s funeral. Not even able to hug my parents so we could all comfort one another.

With no way of memorializing this lovely person, and no way to say goodbye, except for this here blog.

Aunt Lynn, if you’re out there somewhere, please know that I am filled with so many regrets and all I want in the world right now is to say goodbye. You will be sorely missed. And I wish so much that we could continue to be a part of each other’s lives. Please forgive me for any lack of communication on my part and for not overturning the world to say my final goodbyes to you.

Thank you for being a part of my life. Goodbye, Aunt Lynn. See you on the other side!

***

*Enjoying? Sign up for email updates and never miss a new post again!

*Enjoying my writing? Check out my eBooks!

The post My Aunt Lynn (1946-2020), Not a Regular Person is featured at Jaffe World.

Confession: The 3 Times I Cheated

Enjoy!

I was a mediocre high school student… followed by being an exceptional college student, both for my BA and my Masters. And, for the most part, I was extremely honest all the way through.

With some big exceptions.

There was one major time I “cheated” in each one of these institutions, and I’m here to confess today. I’m here to let the world know of my crimes against the world of education.

Did I do something wrong? If given the same situation, would I do it all over again? You tell me.

1) Cheated in High School with Too Much Joy

In high school, I was given an assignment to choose a band or a musician, and deliver an oral report about their history and story. At the time I was obsessed with a band called Too Much Joy. They’re still great. If you’ve never heard their songs, give a listen. Totally worth it.

Anyhow, a couple of facts on the table:

No one knew who Too Much Joy was, so it would be very hard to question me on any information I presented. It’s not like I chose to speak about the Rolling Stones.

And information wasn’t as easy to come by as it is nowadays. There was no internet. I wasn’t going to be able to find out about an obscure band in the library or the encyclopedia (remember those?).

All I had was the jackets of their CDs, which gave me almost no information.

So I did what anybody would have done in my situation…

I made up the entire report, including how all the band members met and a fantastic story about how the band got its name. It involved all the members taking LSD, and when they finally awoke from their mesmerized hallucinogenic state, they found a piece of paper with the words “Too Much Joy” written with crayon sitting in the middle of the room.

I delivered my oral report with pride and power. It was a work of art. And I scored an A.

Is it bad that I’m still proud?

2) Cheated in College with the Sweetest Child o’ Mine

And then there was college.

My first year I took a basic music theory class. Why? Get this. I wanted to learn basic music theory.

However, I was in the vast minority in that class. Apparently it was filled with a whole slew of kids who had been studying music their entire lives, who just took the course for the easy A.

It was hard for me, being so vastly different from everyone else. Nevertheless, the class went at a nice, slow pace, which was exactly what I needed to learn the subject matter well.

But it didn’t last.

Almost overnight, it was like the teacher caught on and realized the whole class was overqualified for the subject matter. And he turned up the speed a whole lot of notches.

Time to Compose Something

After weeks of teaching us the barest basics of beats and notes… he out of nowhere asked us to compose something. It was like if the Spanish 101 teacher went ahead and asked everyone to write a 15-page thesis about the political unrest in Venezuela.

I wasn’t pleased and felt the assignment was unfair, at best.

Now, I played guitar, and even though the process would be slow and painstaking, I decided to take control of the situation. I broke out my guitar and a pad… and figured out the opening notes to the Guns’ N’ Roses classic Sweet Child O’ Mine. I wrote it all down, and voila, a perfect homework assignment.

All was great… until he went ahead and played all of our compositions before the class on his piano. One other student and I cracked up hysterically when he played my unique composition. The rest noticed nothing.

He complimented my work. Criticized the baseline. I got an A.

And I moved forward with my college experience.

3) Cheated in Grad School, Tech Style

My most recent experience with cheating my way to the top was when I was doing my Masters in Education.

I took a class in educational technology, which I was extremely excited about, since this was my niche.

However, I was rather disappointed when I saw how hopelessly outdated the class was. The articles were all 20-30 years old and entirely irrelevant to this generation. Clearly the teacher was a bit out of touch. And nothing screamed that more than when he asked us to write an assignment, but markup the entire text of the paper in HTML language, as if we were creating a simple web page.

Arbitrary of Arbitrariness

Now, we weren’t studying HTML. And the assignment had no connection to HTML. He simply had us do something that was connected to technology because technology happened to be in the name of the course. It would be like a history teacher making a student deliver their oral report on the civil war dressed like an authentic Native American… because they’re part of history too.

The assignment was tedious, unnecessary, and arbitrary. The highest level of useless busywork. And I decided it wasn’t the best use of my time.

I wrote my paper, like I always did. But then I hunted the internet for a program that would automatically change the document into HTML format. Found one, clicked a few buttons, and voila, I was done with my teacher’s incredibly silly challenge for us.

I mean, how could he be upset? After all, I was using technology to complete my assignment!

I Cheated… What Now?

So there you have it. The three times that I recall I blatantly cheated during my time in formal education. I think cheating is wrong, immoral, and lessens your chance of succeeding in life… and I don’t feel a shred of guilt for any of these stories. In fact, I’m actually a little proud.

So what do you think? Is cheating ever justified? Did what I do count as cheating? Should my universities revoke my degrees and should Tottenville come and snatch back my high school diploma?

Or should I hold my head up high, because my “cheating” was justified… or makes for great stories?

Have any interesting or creative stories of your own?

***

*Enjoying? Sign up for email updates and never miss a new post again!

*Enjoying my writing? Check out my eBooks!

The post Confession: The 3 Times I Cheated is featured at Jaffe World.

Am I Still a Zionist?

Enjoy!

[image error]

A little debate I’ve been having with myself recently. Thought others might want to weigh in.

I used to be an ardent Zionist. I came to Israel with a passion. And I loved my time here. I was able to overlook the many faults of the country in favor of seeing the beauty and the blessing that is the Holy Land.

But many things happened over the years, and my love eventually became a tolerance… followed by indifference… and eventually an almost blatant dislike.

A Damaged Zionist

Judge me all you want, but my experiences are my experiences. And unless you’ve endured similar hardships to my own, your opinion on how I feel means little to me.

I recall shortly before I moved back to the States I was in school with someone who was giving me a hard time for leaving Israel. And I got uncharacteristically annoyed.

He had been in Israel for less than a year and he was in yeshiva, essentially having everything he needed just handed to him on a daily basis. No responsibilities. No room for major challenges.

And I was ticked off that someone like that felt comfortable judging my decision. He needed to earn the right to criticize me, and he wasn’t even close. If you have been in Israel for a measurable amount of time, have bundled yourself in a sleeping bag at night because you didn’t have enough money to pay for heating, and comforted friends who lost family as a result of terrorism, and you still love it here, feel free to judge me. If you have seen how complex surviving in the land of Israel is, and regardless you keep your head up high with pride, I am happy to have the conversation with you.

But your two-week trip to Masada and Eilat don’t give you the right to judge me.

The Definition of Zionist

Anyhow, I’ve been wondering lately about the definition of a Zionist. And through my contemplation, I’ve started wondering the big question I find myself asking all the time: What am I?

If you define Zionism as a blind, shallow belief that Israel can do no wrong, and that the actions undertaken by the government or its citizens are inherently justified and moral, I am not a Zionist. Similarly, if it means that one cannot criticize the country when it deserves criticism, then again, I am not a Zionist.

Perhaps Zionism is defined as the belief that every Jewish adult must make the decision to move to Israel. I don’t believe that’s true. I think there are countless reasons why a person could and should live elsewhere.

I will never forget a moment years ago, one of those unforgettable times when someone puts you in your place in the simplest way possible and you are just instantly forced to realize how wrong you are. When I was younger, I would encourage everyone I met visiting Israel to move here. And I know exactly when I stopped.

I met a woman visiting for the holidays. I asked her why she hadn’t just moved here yet. And she said she needed to be home to take care of her mother with Alzheimer’s. And I was humbled. It was a really good answer.

So if you need to believe that every Jew must pack their bags and move to Israel immediately to be a Zionist, then once again, I am not a Zionist.

But Maybe I am a Zionist

So why might I think I am a Zionist?

Well, for one, I’ve lived here for twelve years of my life. I’m a good, law-abiding, tax-paying citizen. I think it’s wrong to litter anywhere in the world; however, I think it’s especially wrong to litter in Israel. Why? Well, that brings me to my next point.

The modern state might annoy me, but I fully recognize the significance of Israel. I appreciate how a nation waited 2000 years to retrieve its homeland, and then made it back here in a fashion that even an ardent atheist, knowing the facts, would say is nothing short of miraculous. And how someone could know all this and still toss a candy wrapper on the ground is beyond me!

Furthermore, I love the IDF, despite the awful experience I had during my service. People fight and bleed to give me the ability to lounge comfortably in my living room writing this post. Their service is beautiful and their contribution is beyond meaningful to me.

More times than I can count I’ve defended Israel, both online and in-person. Truth is truth. My issues with Israel have everything to do with its modern society and nothing to do with its standing in the eyes of the world. To the world at large Israel has been demonized left and right, and whereas sometimes there are pockets of truth, most of what’s said is lies and exaggerations.

The disproportionate mistreatment of Israel in the media and the worldwide political realm is embarrassing. It’s just modern antisemitic nonsense masked as attempts to embolden the downtrodden. And I will proudly stand up and argue for the honor of my country.

In fact, I would gladly fight and die for my country, since I still firmly believe in the concept of a homeland for my people, one with Judaism flowing through the nation’s veins and guiding its values.

Mediocrity is Unacceptable

But that doesn’t make me tolerate when someone yells at me after almost running me over in a crosswalk. That doesn’t make me think it’s OK that I can’t walk ten feet without coughing from a cloud of cigarette smoke or stepping on trash haphazardly tossed on the ground. And that doesn’t make me smile when people are rude or inefficient in government offices.

No, I want a version of this country where we do better. I want people to stop making excuses and being satisfied with where we are holding. I want options. I want expertise. I want friendliness and tolerance. I want an Israel that makes everyone desire to be here, not just feel an obligation or a sense of fleeing from fear of other places.

So maybe I’m even more of a Zionist than others. Why? Because I can’t handle a mediocre Israel, knowing we can do so much better.

***

*Enjoying? Sign up for email updates and never miss a new post again!

*Enjoying my writing? Check out my eBooks!

The post Am I Still a Zionist? is featured at Jaffe World.

Support What You Want, We’ll Always Be Friends

Enjoy!

I am angry. These past few weeks have been nothing but outrageously bothersome to me.

I’ll tell you, I couldn’t care less about American politics or which candidate anyone supports. I think the system is ridiculous and one of my favorite things about the past four years was how much it exposed how inane the process is.

Hatred and Venom

But there is one thing that has been bothering me more than anything along the way. The amount of hatred and venom I have seen has been off the charts.

No, I don’t mean from Trump or Trump supporters. I mean from everyone!

This election had nothing to do with Joe Biden. No one came out to vote for him. They came out to vote for Trump or against Trump.

I challenge you to ask 80% of those who voted for Biden if they could name one thing they actually like about him or his policies. I think you’ll find the answers unimpressive. Not-being-Trump is the least qualifying trait any candidate has ever possessed.

The 45th White Male President

No, the same people who have been ranting and raving about race inequality and gender issues for the past four years just danced in the street as we elected the 45th white male to the presidency. Kudos. Real change is possible! His 47 years in office, eight as the Vice President, have certainly ensured that.

But that’s not what I want to talk about today.

The Right to Support

I am not a Trump supporter. I’m not an anyone supporter. But do you know what I do support? The right to be a Trump supporter. The right to choose whomever you want. And the right to do so without fear of repercussions from all those around you.

Yet, here I am. I am fairly certain that if I were to make some pro-Trump statement on Facebook, twenty people (conservative estimate) would immediately un-friend me. Hell, some of my own family members might do so!

I have a promise for all the many people in my life. There are a lot of reasons I might change my mind about who you are. You can do a heinous and despicable act. You can insult my family. You can hurt me or someone I love. But I can guarantee you: I will never walk away from you or disregard you because of your political opinion.

The Harbingers of Peace and Understanding

The election ended and millions called for peace, calm, and understanding. And their hypocrisy made me livid. You can’t bash people online for four years straight, and repeatedly and angrily call 70 million Americans deplorable racists, and then claim to be the harbingers of peace and understanding.

I think this is a critical time in American history. It’s time to reflect on who we are and who we want to be. Do we want to be the generation that scared the people in our lives into thinking they’re not allowed to have free thought? Do we want to push away everyone we care about if we disagree with them, leaving ourselves only surrounded by those who already share the same beliefs?

How will we grow as people if our ideas aren’t challenged? How will we succeed in this world if we cannot learn to peacefully co-exist with the billions of people in this world we so vehemently disagree with?

I consider my political and religious viewpoints a work in progress. My opinions have shifted many times over the years, sometimes drastically, and sometimes in the smallest of increments. In some ways I’ve become more liberal, in others more conservative. And yes, I’ve held opinions I now look back at with shock or even embarrassment.

The Right to Have an Opinion

But I support my right to have any opinion I’ve had along the way. And to voice that opinion freely, even if it’s underdeveloped or hurts others’ feelings. And I encourage anyone to argue with me on whatever I may think or feel. How else could I become a better version of myself more than by the people I care about the most challenging me and forcing me to think about the world?

Hell, that’s one of the reasons I still write this blog. I’m trying to figure out what I think. I’m taking every conversation I’ve ever had, every experience I’ve ever been through, and anything I’ve ever learned and trying to put it in writing. That’s how I process the world.

And if no one ever disagreed, I would get nowhere.

But everything feels so black and white to me now.

The Unrepresented Middle

I have a feed filled with people either rejoicing that Trump is gone or acting as if this is the beginning of the end of the United States of America. I have those acting as if Trump is a despot on par with the worst in history, who couldn’t possibly acknowledge a single positive thing about his presidency. And I have those who think Biden is the devil and Trump can do no wrong. The grey area in the middle is woefully unrepresented.

And the worst part is that the groups speak of each other with anger and hate. And it pains me to watch this.

Fact is, the President is a pretty important job. But with some major exceptions throughout history, they become distant memories fairly quickly after they leave office. Four or eight years is nothing in the big picture of world history. And whatever damage is done usually balances out in the years to come.

And Vice Presidents? We usually stop talking about them around 15 minutes after the inauguration.

We’re Better Than This

So we’re willing to sacrifice our characters, our very essences over what amounts to be passing fluff in our lives. Someone can choose to no longer see pictures of my children on Facebook because they support an old man who doesn’t know they exist and couldn’t care less about them as an individual.

But we’re better than that. I want to believe this.

I have to believe this.

***

*Enjoying? Sign up for email updates and never miss a new post again!

*Enjoying my writing? Check out my eBooks!

The post Support What You Want, We’ll Always Be Friends is featured at Jaffe World.

My Top 6 Netflix Shows to Avoid During a Pandemic

Enjoy!

Last week I spoke about six Netflix shows I highly recommended, shows that excited, inspired, or made me laugh.

And now we’re turning everything around, with six more shows… that were so damn awful, I’m almost embarrassed I watched them.

The same parameters apply:

a. Available on Netflix in Israel.

b. It’s a proper show, not a limited miniseries.

c. I’ve watched all available episodes.

At the end I’ll have a list of shows that were so awful, I stopped watching after one or two episodes.

So without further ado, the list of shame:

6) Warrior Nun: Netflix’s Premier Show… with Fighting Nuns

It still shocks me when I think that someone actually sat down and said to themselves, “You know what would give an action show just a little edge? Let’s make the main heroes of the show a bunch of nuns. The kids’ll love it!”

They basically ensured right off the bat that when the action slows or stops, it’s going to be snoozefest. Which was most of the time.

The main character was completely uncompelling. We’re supposed to believe the whole time that there is something special about her, but we never feel it. We’re just told that is must be the case.

And the first half of the season runs more like an ultra-cheesy teen drama than an exciting adventure tale. The storyline for this section of the show is hard to swallow, filled with characters who are uninteresting or annoying (or both). It feels like the writers were required to fill ten episodes, but their main story could only successfully fill half of that… so they just fluffed up the extra five episodes with blah blah.

A taste of the power:

5) The Messiah: Wish He Could Have Come and Saved Me from the Show…

This show could have been good. The acting was fine. Some of the scenes were exciting or interesting. But ultimately not much happened throughout the course of an episode, and the overall show was very forgettable.

There was never a point during the season in which I, the viewer, felt convinced by the protagonist, the messianic figure. The writers relied too much on two things, both of which did not impress me. Either the messiah just knew random things about people that he wasn’t supposed to know (big deal) or he would stare at them until they were convinced that he was the one true Messiah.

His knowledge of whatever and awkward stares (not to mention his nonsensical speeches or very unclear messages) were not enough to keep me all that interested. The Messiah has been cancelled. No second season. I’m not upset.

Are you compelled yet?

4) The Innocents: Yet Guilty of Boring Me

“Oh yeah, we watched that also.”

Pretty much all that’s left to say about this one.

I barely remember what happened. The concept was interesting enough, but the overall show was so damn slow. Many characters were odd or irritating. And the overall plot ranged from hard to swallow to more confusing than I’d prefer.

All-in-all, The Innocents is ironically memorable as being the most forgettable show we watched.

Enjoy:

3) Under the Dome: And into the Trash

What happens when the tough-as-nails DEA brother-in-law from Breaking Bad needs a new job? Well, unfortunately nothing too good. Yes, there were some decent actors on the show… mixed in with a few who, let’s just say, could use a little work. The plot was kind of cool and interesting… for a while. Then it was just, “Hey look, they’re under a dome. OK, great. Now what?” And it finished off with a pile of, “Wow, this is tastelessly weird, and not even mildly believable.”

If you enjoy high-quality science fiction dramas… look elsewhere. You haven’t found it yet. Only watch this show if you’ve exhausted everything else on Netflix and this is just about the only thing left. And only if you’re goal is passing the time during a global pandemic…

Prepare for intrigue:

2) The Unlisted: Everyone’s Favorite Netflix Adventure… for Kids

Well, we learned a really big lesson from this one. Just because the concept seems interesting enough and the trailer is fine, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t check the suggested age for the show. We were a couple of episodes in when we started wondering, “Why do none of their actions ever seem to have consequences?” And then we noticed that the show was labeled 7+… a mistake we will not make again.

The Unlisted masked itself as an intense drama, with a corporation turning children into advanced-capability robots. But the semi-interesting concept was ruined by awful writing, worse acting, and this overarching feeling that the main characters were completely useless. If you want a peek into a quasi-parody of Indian culture in Australia, explosive diarrhea-inducing food, Super Recognizers, scores of people escaping to safety by hiding behind walls, literally the saddest and most pathetic disguises you will ever see, and a complete disregard for any of the elements that make a show worth watching, The Unlisted is the perfect show for you!

A small taste of the magic:

1) Between: The Netflix Show We Love to Hate

This show is uniquely bad. I swear they found their cast by walking around Canada and saying, “Hey, wanna be in a show.” They then continued production by telling the actors to not even try, took the first take of any scene, and voila, a perfect show, there and ready to entertain its viewers. I mean, when the name of the town in your show is Pretty Lake, I think it’s fair to say you’re not really trying.

The best thing about Between is how much we enjoyed hating it. It became half the fun of watching the show.

The other half was waiting to see what ridiculous things the writer would do from episode to episode. I picture the writer sitting in a room, quite drunk, cigar in hand, saying, “You know what this show needs? A random escaped tiger! Oh yeah, and surface to air missiles. Oh! And let’s not forget to toss in some Mennonites. That’s what the kids really want to see these days!”

A little trailer to entice you to join the hate (seriously, it would be fun to have other people to make fun of the show with):

Netflix Honorable Mentions

A couple of honorable mentions:

Black Lightning and Titans were both entertaining. Just not very good shows. They’re like the singer on American Idol who no one talks about. They’re not amazing. They’re not hysterically awful. Just meh, and never worthy of thinking about again. That being said, if all three seasons of Black Lightning looked like the third, it would have easily had an honored spot on this list.

Netflix Dishonorable Mentions

And a few dishonorable mentions. These shows were just so bad, I couldn’t make it past one or two episodes without running for dear life. There are probably others that could have been on this list, I just long forgot about them…

Never Have I Ever had a trailer that made it look mildly cute. It wasn’t. Every joke fell flat. Literally every single one.

Grimm was so bad, when compiling this list I totally forgot about it. It was awful, unoriginal, and I’m so happy we stopped watching.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt was unwatchably annoying. It wasn’t just unfunny. It was unbearable. Didn’t make it to a second episode.

Not sure why I gave Jane the Virgin a chance. The idea was funny. First episode wasn’t terrible. Maybe OK for a sketch, but more than two episodes, not a chance.

This one might be unpopular, but I couldn’t stand Lucifer. There’s nothing I found appealing about the show. It fit the pattern of a million other cop shows, where the police work with a consultant with unique skills (The Mentalist, Bones, Numbers, CSI, etc etc etc). In this case, what was his skill? He was the devil, and knows your desires. Yes, boys and girls, a very clear sign that TV writers are completely out of ideas.

Anything else? Probably. Some may have been so bad my brain won’t even let me remember they exist…

***

*Enjoying? Sign up for email updates and never miss a new post again!

*Enjoying my writing? Check out my eBooks!

The post My Top 6 Netflix Shows to Avoid During a Pandemic is featured at Jaffe World.

My Top 6 Netflix Shows to Survive a Pandemic

Enjoy!

So we’re all stuck at home. Even if some of us are out and about, or we’re keeping ourselves busy with all sorts of important tasks, it can’t be denied: We’re home a lot more often… and we can use a distraction more than ever before.

And in the monotony of the 24-7 home-all-the-time fun, I’m sure I’m not alone in having knocked off a few extra TV shows here and there.

I wanted to share some of my favorites. My parameters are simple. All of these shows are available on Netflix (it’s what we’ve got… and Netflix in Israel is less robust than in other places…). I’ve completed all available episodes. Meaning, there may or may not be new seasons coming, but I’m all caught up with what is currently available. And they are, for lack of a better word, more “full” shows. I really enjoyed Unorthodox, for example, but it was only four episodes, without any intention of a second season. And I loved I Am Not OK with This… but seven 20 minute episodes is nothing.

So, without further ado, my top six favorite shows I’ve watched recently on Netflix (spoiler alert for all videos included):

6) The Punisher is Coming for Netflix

Do you enjoy senseless violence? Of course. Who doesn’t!?

The Punisher is extremely intense. And is certainly a slap in the face to the pretty boy model of heroes out there. Frank Castle pulls no punches, and will get beaten and broken in the process of accomplishing whatever mission he has set out to accomplish.

The perennial hero/vigilante debate centers around how far should we go to stop bad guys from being bad. Many have a no-killing code. The Punisher most certainly does not. He eradicates the evil from this world, and when he does so, that evil will never come back to hurt anyone else again.

And the brilliant portrayal of this enigmatic character is so well done, when he yells at others, you feel afraid as well. And when he explains his actions, you’re nodding right along with him.

This show is not recommended for anyone who winces at violence.

Here’s a great scene from the second season (spoilers!):

5) A Netflix-Worthy Sex Education

I was wary of watching a show like this. First of all, it’s rare that I watch any comedy shows these days. It’s even rarer that I enjoy them.

My gold standard for a quality comedy show is a collection of laugh-out-loud moments. There are many shows that can make me smile or even regard what I’ve seen as humorous. But it is a rarity that a show actually makes me burst out laughing.

This show gave me more than a few scenes like that.

Also, I feared the content. It’s not that I don’t like “big kid” content, it’s that sometimes shows cross a certain line and they seem more like they’re seeking shock value than intelligently getting their audiences to laugh. I felt that way when I watched Glee many years ago. The show started off fine. Refreshingly comical, actual. And somewhere in the second season, everything just went downhill.

I have no interest in watching some writer’s need to grab attention at all costs. So I moved on, and never looked back at that show.

But this was different. Sex Education was so much better.

The show manages to somehow make crude into tasteful and hysterical. Extremely consistently. And I loved every minute of it.

Enjoy one of my favorite scenes (not necessarily for the faint-hearted… and spoiler alert):

4) Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency, Conquering Netflix

What a fun and refreshing show!

I had no expectations for this one. The trailer made it look like nonsense. It just seemed like something I was going to hate.

But I was so wrong.

This show is wacky. It’s all over the place. It’s absolute craziness. And I loved it!

You leave the first season wondering if it’s possible for them to take the weird to the next level, and leave the second season fully satisfied that they did. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more bizarre show. But it was so tastefully and charmingly so, it was just easy to love.

Here’s a fun tiny little taste of Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency:

3) An Atypical Netflix Show

This show was nothing short of fantastic. The acting was unbelievable. It was loaded with laugh-out-loud funny moments. And throughout all of that, they also managed to be deep and thought-provoking.

Atypical could easy slip into a lot of directions, from cheesy to distasteful, as we follow the life of Sam Gardner, a high-functioning autistic teenager, through everything from navigating college to trying to figure out relationships. The masterful acting of Keir Gilchrist is charming and shockingly realistic.

The show plunges Sam into a number of complicated scenarios, and with each instance, we just fall in love with him more and more.

If you want to laugh or you want to be moved, this is a great show for you. By the way, fun fact: In later seasons, they hired a whole crew of autistic actors to accompany our protagonist. And they are fantastic!

Enjoy one of my favorite scenes:

2) Netflix’s Umbrella Academy… ‘Nuff Said

Many of us waited patiently (sort of) for over a year for the second season of this phenomenal show. And we were so happy that we did.

What happens when you combine an incredible cast of brilliant actors, superheroes, time travel, an unpredictable sequence of events, and just enough humor to keep you smiling from start to finish? That’s when you get the wonderfully quaint and refreshing Umbrella Academy.

Admittedly, I didn’t like the second season as much as the first. It didn’t keep me on my toes the way the first one did, they kind of dumb-downed a few of the characters, and the plot was way too similar to that of the first season… but nevertheless, it successfully entertained from start to finish. And the second season had the additional benefit of brilliantly portraying social injustices of the past with remarkable emotions, something so rare. You felt the hate. It was truly powerful!

Here’s a solid scene from season 2:

1) Travelers to Netflix

I have a problem with science fiction shows. A few, in fact.

Most of my problems come from elements that open the show up so wide, it starts to feel like they’re just making up crap as they expand the plot way past my ability to really follow what’s going on. My issues usually arise when one of two elements are added to the show: Time travel or multiple dimensions.

So if a show contains one or both of them, and I love it anyway, that’s when you know I’ve found a good show.

Travelers did time travel more tastefully and intelligently than any other show I’ve seen so far. I loved almost everything about the show, from the intelligent structure, to the personal conflicts, to the engaging and subtly brilliant acting.

Enjoy a clip from my favorite show on Netflix so far:

A couple of honorable mentions:

I thought I was going to hate The Order. In fact, I kind of did. The show went from mediocre, declined just a little, and just when I thought it was going to get awful, I was fully hooked and couldn’t wait to see the next episode or the second season. It was actually the thing that made me want to stop watching at first that made me keep watching until the end. How often does that happen?

And what happens when the obnoxious, witty guy from Lost marries the doctor from Prison Break? Apparently a solid science fiction show called Colony. The show was gripping and fascinating throughout, leaving me with only one gripe: It was canceled with a cliff hanger. Come on man! Have we not learned anything from Firefly? We’re going to need a movie. Let’s get on that!

Finally, Glitch was an amazing show… for two of three seasons. We absolutely loved this one. Glitch was a gripping Australian science-fiction drama. A lousy trailer made it look like a zombie show, but it absolutely was not. Watch the show if can skip the last season and never get a resolve, or if you don’t mind a disappointing final season or an even more disappointing ending. Otherwise, sadly, skip it.

***

*Enjoying? Sign up for email updates and never miss a new post again!

*Enjoying my writing? Check out my eBooks!

The post My Top 6 Netflix Shows to Survive a Pandemic is featured at Jaffe World.

5 Movie Scenes that Make Me Cry Like a Baby

Enjoy!

The posts have been hard and heavy lately. What can I do? These aren’t the easiest of times. And they are times that inspire strong emotions.

So to take my mind off the craziness, I thought I’d spend the next few posts talking about entertainment topics.

But we’re not quite out of the woods just yet. As a transition from the pain and misery of the world to everyone’s favorite way to escape, I wanted to gather a few movie scenes that are absolutely unforgettable.

These five scenes, in no particular order, will always make me cry. I can watch the movie 100 times, and every single time when I get to these scenes, I’ll have tears streaming down my face.

Yeah, sure, I’ll try and pretend like I’m not crying. I might turn my head to the side, or rub my eyes like I got something in one of them. But I’m not fooling anyone. When it comes to the big screen, and these intense moments, the emotions run high. And there’s nothing I can do about it.

Warning: Spoilers are definitely coming… and make sure a tissue box is nearby!

Cry Like a Baby: I Am Legend (2007): Bye Pooch

I’m going to admit that I didn’t love this movie. But this scene was super memorable.

Who doesn’t love Will Smith? I’ve been enjoying his art since he was a lowly rapper hanging out with DJ Jazzy Jeff. His acting is certainly not the reason I didn’t love the film. It’s just a little slow for my taste.

But what could possibly be sadder than this moment?

You have a man with literally nothing left, wandering around by himself trying to save the world. The only companion he has in the entire world is his trusted pooch, Sam.

And not only does he lose his pet to the terrible illness that surrounds him, but he has to take care of business himself.

I can’t even imagine what it feels like to be in that position! I’m choking up just writing about it.

Cry Like a Baby: E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982): Everyone Says Goodbye

E.T. is still one of the greatest movies ever created.

Granted by modern standards it’s special effects are probably considered mediocre at best. But trust me, it still holds up! The last time I watched E.T. was at an outdoor showing in a park in Kansas.

It doesn’t matter how many times I see the movie. I’ll always love it. And the ending will always make me cry like a small child.

Only two types of people in this world. Those who cry at the end of E.T., and those who lie about crying at the end of E.T.

If you watch this and tears aren’t streaming down your face, you are heartless.

In order to write this post, I’m rewatching all these scenes. And yeah, the tissues in my home are all magically disappearing.

I’m not much of a crier… but when Elliot starts tearing up gets me every single time!

Cry Like a Baby: The Lion King (1994): Mufasa Dies

Yes, they figured out how to make me cry… with animation. That’s next level!

As a father, I know in my heart that I would do anything for my children. And that’s up to and including plunging myself into the most dangerous and lethal of situations. So it’s bone-chilling to watch as Musafa races fearlessly into a stampede of wildebeests to keep his child safe.

You feel his love emanating through the screen!

And if you aren’t bawling watching that adorable little guy try and wake his father up, you should be checked to make sure you’re not a sociopath. Something is most certainly loose.

Yes, I know it’s a cartoon lion and it’s all quite the fictional in a silly, happy-go-lucky film. But come on! That little guy crawls under his dead father’s paw. I’m getting emotional just writing about it.

Cry Like a Baby: Top Gun (1986): Goose Dies

Yes, Tom Cruise is an absolute fruitcake. But man was he in some good movies!

On a side note, I cannot believe that this film came out when I was nine. Or that Tom Cruise is still starring in action films. Or that he looks exactly the same…

I can’t imagine the action scenes still hold up 34 (!) years later, but this movie was packed with adrenaline and every minute was super exciting.

And in the midst of all the intensity, they created one character who we couldn’t help but love. He had such charisma and was so much fun, you felt like you wanted to hang out with him and drink a beer.

So when they took him from us in such dramatic fashion, it was jarring. But they then proceeded to drag out the death for, I don’t know, another half hour, replete with survivor’s guilt and a grieving widow and child.

Without fail, this scene leaves me standing in a puddle of my own tears.

Cry Like a Baby: The NeverEnding Story (1984): Artax Dies

They might be just as old as The NeverEnding Story, but I feel like everyone remembers E.T. and Top Gun. Whereas, The NeverEnding Story lies in relative and undeserved obscurity.

It’s a super-sweet film, and if you haven’t yet shown it to your children, you’re doing them a disservice. What are you waiting for? Show it to them. Now!

But the bigger they are, the harder they fall. And despite being a little on the outdated side, The NeverEnding Story contains an unforgettably sad scene. Possibly the saddest I’ve ever experienced.

Like the others, I just rewatched the scene and I still have chills running up and down my spine from the way he screams “Artax”. But it’s OK. Who doesn’t need a good cry every now and then?

***

I noticed something funny when compiling this list. I only included five clips. Of those clips, three of them involved the death of animals. One of them involved saying goodbye to an alien. Geez, even the only one that involved a human’s death, the guy’s name was Goose!

I’m not exactly sure what this says about me. Perhaps I am the constant misanthrope I claim to be… but at least animals are precious and cute.

It’s no wonder I got myself a dog!

What movie scenes made you cry like a baby? Find any interesting patterns?

***

*Enjoying? Sign up for email updates and never miss a new post again!

*Enjoying my writing? Check out my eBooks!

The post 5 Movie Scenes that Make Me Cry Like a Baby is featured at Jaffe World.

Really Bad News… for the Jews

Enjoy!

I follow the news. Well, at least a little. I get a daily Need 2 Know update. It’s awesome, and I’m a huge fan.

But the other day I read two separate stories, and they made my blood boil.

The News of New York

The first story was about how awful New York City is doing after more than half a year of getting its ass kicked by the Coronavirus.

Restaurants are closing down. For good! Left and right, businesses are locking their doors, businesses none of us will ever get to see again. The city is in economic shambles, and things are only going to get worse if the businesses continue to be required to stay closed.

And how long will they stay closed? Until the city can severely reduce the numbers of new cases, whenever that might be.

The Jews of New York

In a somewhat unrelated story, the orthodox Jewish community was mentioned.

Now, after several years of receiving these emails, Israel or the Jewish people may have been mentioned a dozen or so times. My initial reaction is always excitement. Yay! Look at us. We’re in the international news.

But then I read what it’s about, and it’s almost never good. What in the news ever is!? We’re much better off staying as far away from the news as possible.

And this moment was by no means an exception.

Why did New York’s Jewish community find its way into the news? Because of a wildly disproportionate rate of Covid cases among its residents. It was explained that in these communities, compliance with regulations is rare if not flagrantly violated. And with rabbinical approval!

And I was so upset.

Why? For two main reasons.

Chillul Hashem

The first is a concept called Chillul Hashem, which is a mega-important Jewish idea that says we should never do anything to embarrass our people or the Jewish faith. And here you have members of my people, wantonly risking their lives and the lives of everyone around them. And doing so in such a dramatic fashion that it reached the international news!

Now that is Chillul Hashem at levels I have not witnessed in my lifetime.

And there are some truths about this that are very uncomfortable.

You might be as far as possible from a Chassidic Jew in Boro Park, Brooklyn. Physically, philosophically, and in outward appearance. It doesn’t matter! That loud moron seen on TV running around without a mask represents you. Like it or not.

Every outward Jew has always and will always represent every Jew. That’s the way it has been for thousands of years, and I don’t see it changing anytime soon. In fact, it’s usually the loudest person who gets to represent us. And therefore we are forced to be held to a higher standard. My thoughtless action, if it gets too much attention, could impact the life of a Jew somewhere in Venezuela. And that’s just the way it is.

So don’t say those people are not my kind of orthodox. And don’t say I’m not orthodox, so they don’t represent me. It doesn’t matter. History says otherwise.

Blaming the Jews

And speaking of history, this brings me to the second reason I’m upset. And this is no laughing matter.

For generations, the Jewish people have been blamed for things. The justifications are mind-numbingly stupid, when we look back at them. A deadly plague swept across Europe, something so mysterious and misunderstood. People at large sought an explanation. What did they come up with? It must be the Jews are poisoning the wells!

A Christian boy goes missing. Where could he be? It must be that Jewish people snatched the child in order to murder him and use his blood to make wine and matzah.

These may sound inane at best to the modern ear, but these rumors resulted in the massacres of scores of Jewish people. They existed even after they were definitively proven false. And to some extent, they still exist to this very day.

But it was all lies, propaganda, and excuses. If you hate the Jewish people, you’ll always find a reason to do so.

So for thousands of years people came up with far-fetched explanations to loathe and ultimately murder our people. And those explanations were patently false…

Until now.

What About Now?

Now, we are at a very problematic and complicated crossroads.

What if there were a city jam-packed with Jews who were ignoring the rules, spreading Corona like wildfire, completely disproportionately represented in the daily infection rates? And what if because of the outrageously high infection rates, there were a guy whose restaurant needed to be closed for the past two months, without any end in sight to the closure?

He built that business from scratch. Used up all of his savings. And it was doing pretty well, until March of 2020, everyone’s least favorite month in modern history. And now he’s stuck. He’s either headed for insanely miserable financial times or he’ll face economic ruin from which he will never be able to recover.

So with tears in his eyes, he closes down his restaurant for good. The dream he’d been working for his entire life is now lying in ashes.

And for the first time in thousands of years of history, someone can say the sentence, “This is because of the Jews”… and there’s actually a shred of truth to the statement.

I Hope You’re Proud

I hope those who are ignoring the rules and spreading misery and death throughout their communities are proud of themselves.

They’ve chosen to ignore rules and restrictions designed to keep people safe in favor of listening to ignorant authorities who believe praying with a large group is more valuable than the sanctity of human life.

Their choice is objectively wrong. It’s wrong morally. It’s wrong scientifically. And it’s even wrong in the eyes of Jewish law, which places life as the highest value above just about all else in almost every circumstance.

Members of my people have shamed the Jewish nation.

I am embarrassed and infuriated.

And I hope and pray for immediate change.

***

*Enjoying? Sign up for email updates and never miss a new post again!

*Enjoying my writing? Check out my eBooks!

The post Really Bad News… for the Jews is featured at Jaffe World.

10 Ultra-Unforgettable Moments with My Son

Enjoy!

My son and I are quite close. And I had the pleasure of witnessing something magical the other day when he earned his Brazilian Jiu Jitsu blue belt, after two years of slaving away to get there.

I could not have been a prouder father. And it started getting me thinking about these last several years we spent together. I wanted to highlight ten memorable moments, moments that I will absolutely never forget.

I am a lucky father to have such a kid in my life.

1) The unforgettable one when our beloved pooch ran away

It was a Shabbat afternoon. Shlomo came back into the apartment frantic, after accidentally letting go of the leash while walking Frank. He ran and was nowhere to be found.

We searched for what seemed like forever.

Ultimately, the little fella came back. And then we sat down to lunch, really tense. Shlomo could not be consoled.

As I started to make kiddush, my kids and I all noticed a tear dripping down Shlomo’s face. We got up to give him the biggest hug in what was one of the warmest moments I’ll ever remember.

2) The unforgettable one with the first hug

I have hugged my son a million times in my life. But one hug eclipsed all the others.

Shlomo came to visit me in Kansas after being apart from me in Israel for a year. Over the course of that year, we progressively became extremely close, talking on the phone for hours at a time.

When I came to pick him up, the hug he gave me was next level. It felt like it was never going to end. It felt like we were clinging onto one another for dear life. Frankly, we were!

3) The unforgettable one when he showed me his empathy

A while back I found myself disturbed by a conversation I had online in some Facebook group I was on. Some awful human beings implied that a person who died in a place crash deserved his fate because he flew his private plane on the Sabbath. I was disgusted by how these people were speaking, and had quite a confrontation with a few of them.

I decided to ask my son what he thought about it. And I was so happy that he didn’t flinch when considering the event tragic. Nothing, not a single detail, could change his mind. He couldn’t see it any other way, and I felt truly proud.

A bunch of adults could sit back and claim to know and understand the world and God’s justice. A young teenager didn’t possess their arrogance. No, quite the opposite. He already understood that death and suffering were inherently awful things.

4) The unforgettable one when we fell out of some planes

I still remember it like it was yesterday. My son was afraid of roller coasters. Measly little roller coasters!

One of his Summer camp counselors pushed Shlomo hard to get him to try a really simple one. And try it he did! He then wanted to go on it again and again.

Many years later we were at Worlds of Fun going on just about every roller coaster they had.

And just a few more years after that, he shocked me when he said he was up for going skydiving. Dive #1 was incredible and extremely scary. Dive #2: Shlomo conquered the task like it was nothing.

It was such an exciting and special moment for both of us, and I’m so glad we did it together.

Unforgettable!

5) The unforgettable one when we unraveled the porpoise mystery

Way back when, my son and I were reading a novel together. It was a children’s book with pictures. The book kept on referencing porpoises. At one point he looked at me and said those weren’t porpoises; they were dolphins. I disagreed, since I had no reason to assume the book was incorrect. I told him they were very similar animals, and when he asked me what the difference was, I told him, “I have absolutely no idea.”

We then proceeded to extensively research the difference between dolphins and porpoises. In fact, we learned that everything about the book we were reading was incorrect. Both the descriptions within the book and the pictures were in fact speaking of dolphins. For the remainder of the book, he made me replace the word… since, well, truth is truth.

6) The unforgettable one when he kept me calm before my proposal

I told Shlomo I was going to propose just a short time before I planned to make it happen. I was freaking out. Part of me wanted to make time go much quicker, since it would solve my nervousness problem. But I was struggling like crazy, fully unaware in my naive little brain whether or not she would say yes.

I wandered around my living room for what felt like forever. And Shlomo just wandered around with me. He kept me sane. He kept me focused. And he prevented me from falling apart. I am forever grateful I had him with me that day.

7) The unforgettable one when we walked to my wedding

An odd fact: I loved having my children at my wedding. I know it’s twisted, because something has to go drastically wrong for that to be a reality, but it was just so incredibly special, it’s hard for me to fathom a wedding not this way.

And my son wasn’t just at the wedding. He was my best man. We spent the whole morning together, walked to the event hall together, and got ready together. And I could not have chosen a better person for the job!

It was such a beautiful thing to share with Shlomo. We are such a great team. It was so amazing having him by my side as the team expanded.

8) The unforgettable one when we shot some guns

When Shlomo came to visit me in Kansas, I had an epic two weeks planned out for us. We did so many things together, everything from movies in the park to volunteering to wall climbing. But nothing had quite the impact as taking him shooting for his first time (and second).

When I suggested the idea to him, his face just lit up like I told him he won the lottery.

And oh my goodness, was it a fun time. From start to finish, it was amazing and thrilling. We took pictures, made videos. We even, later on, made necklaces out of bullet shells. Four years later, his WhatsApp profile picture is him shooting.

Sadly, in Israel he’s too young to go shooting (he was 12 when we went in Kansas!). But I do hope to recapture that magic again one of these days. Ya know, if the army doesn’t make him sick of shooting…

9) The unforgettable one when I threw up

During the epic Kansas visit, one of our activities for the day was to go to a trial Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ) class. It was fantastic. It was insanely rigorous. And it was a whole gigantic bundle of fun.

But the experience was imperfect. Toward the end, I could barely move from exhaustion. I had trouble standing and felt very faint.

And before I knew it, I was standing in front of the studio, barfing my guts out.

Apparently, I had hydrated myself very poorly. And I was by no means the first person to find myself in such a ridiculous pickle.

But we made up for it. Right afterwards we got quite the hydrated, with some delicious 7/11 Slurpees. Yeah, it was a tough evening. But at the same time, it was strangely perfect.

10) The unforgettable one when he got the blue

And who knew that just two years after my violent vomiting incident, Shlomo would start studying Jiu Jitsu in Jerusalem.

I had secretly hoped he would. But life has few guarantees.

And he quickly went from casual practitioner to obsessive master of strangling others. And a matter of days ago, I got the call that he had earned his blue belt.

Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is no game. It’s not some cheesy American karate studio where they give you a belt just for showing up, maybe breaking some wood and doing some silly dance routine. To get a belt in BJJ, you need to work your ass off and prove that you are ridiculously capable.

He most certainly earned his belt. And I honestly couldn’t be more proud.

***

*Enjoying? Sign up for email updates and never miss a new post again!

*Enjoying my writing? Check out my eBooks!

The post 10 Ultra-Unforgettable Moments with My Son is featured at Jaffe World.