Monica Berg's Blog, page 11

Letting Go to Truly See

During the new moon of Cancer, Monica invites us to ask the Creator to help us change the lens in which we view what happens to us.

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New Moon of Cancer: Care & Feeding of Your Inner Crab

Next week we welcome the New Moon of Cancer and it brings with it an invitation inward, a month-long journey into the watery depths of our emotional life and its inherent intelligence. Emotions are data, but they are not facts which makes this month an interesting time for anyone who likes dichotomies and ironies. It is known as one of the negative months, rooted in din (the Hebrew word for law or judgment). As Rav Berg taught, sometimes the experience of judgment allows us to transform that negativity into mercy and positivity.

However, judgment is also a pitfall of this month—self-judgment in particular. But we’ll get to that in a moment—first, a bit about the positive energies of Cancer.

Those born under the sign of Cancer are solid, grounded, and deeply nurturing, but beneath their competent outer shell lies a sweet, tender, and intuitive being. Cancers are known for being the most emotional of all the astrological signs; they need a lot of love, security, and reassurance. On the flip side, they are equally tenacious, fight for their loved ones, and value family highly. Simply put, this month is all about emotions, how we care for ourselves and others, and what we desire for ourselves and those we love.

Ourselves and others. On any given day, we are either contributing to positivity—sharing, uplifting others, practicing kindness—or we are contributing to negativity—judgment, withholding, centering our ego. We all want to think that we’re uplifting others and practicing kindness and sharing, but if we aren’t extending that to ourselves we’re only halfway there. This month, take on a practice not of just self-care but self-reflection, self-intimacy, and self-kindness. Here are a few ways to do it:

Step One: Practice Empathy—With Yourself

This month, we are invited to feel all our feelings but to create a nurturing, loving space for everything we feel. It seems simple, and yet, how many times have you found yourself judging your emotions? How often have you tried to talk yourself out of a negative feeling? Conversely, how many times have you held back the expression of a positive one? When we judge ourselves and our emotions, it leads directly to judging others, but when we make room for our feelings instead of pushing them away, we equally become vessels of love for others.

Extending empathy to ourselves, even in the face of our judgment or discomfort, improves our ability to be empathetic to those around us.

Step Two: Turn Judgments Around

Once you’ve got an eye toward empathy, really get in touch with yourself. Examine your negative self-talk with curiosity and turn unkind thoughts into positive affirmations. When you catch yourself judging, question the thought by asking: “What is the feeling underneath this judgment? Fear? Sadness? Anxiety? What does it need from me?” The answer may not arrive immediately and maybe not in the form of logic, but it will come, and you can help it along with the next step…

Step Three: Express!

Take on an emotionally centered activity this month, like intuitive painting, journaling, non-linear movement, or other expressive avenues. When we turn off our thinking brain, we tap right into our emotional center and, with our newly attuned empathy and without judgment, we can feel what our emotions are trying to tell us. We can experience our inner truth and begin an even more authentic, vulnerable relationship with ourselves. And as we heal our relationship with ourselves, we do the same with each relationship in our lives.

Be gentle this month, with everyone including yourself. Cancer is a water sign ruled by the moon, so the tides of emotion may rise and fall more dramatically. Counter the turbulence with deep breaths, meditation, nature walks, yoga, or other practices that help bring you back to a sense of stability and peace. The more we connect with our inner calm, the clearer the waters will become, and the more accurately we’ll see what needs attention and how we might best address it.

Above all, this month’s energy asks us to peer inward rather than outward. When we fully connect with our emotions and the messages they send, we expand our powers to manifest change in our lives. Our feelings no longer rule, overwhelm, or send us running for cover. We face them. We learn from them.

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Mindful Parenting

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Passion Struck

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Tamsen’s Book Club

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Beha’alotcha: Falling & Creating New Light

Join Monica as she shares that the times in which we fall are not meant to create doubt about ourselves or our spiritual path, but rather for us to create new Light out of the darkness.

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Finding Purpose When You Feel Purposeless

Everyone desires a feeling of purpose. It’s that sweet sensation of being excited when you wake up for the day, having clarity about where you are and where you want to go, and knowing that your actions are aligned with deeper meaning. Living our purpose brings us a sense of satisfaction and peace, the belief that our contributions make an impact and that our presence makes a powerful difference. I mean, who wouldn’t want to feel this way?

Yet, one survey reported that only 10% of people say they know their life purpose and only 5% say they follow that purpose on a regular basis. Forbes shared another survey by HP that found only 28% of people say their work gives them a sense of purpose.

So, if purpose is so elusive, do we really need it?

Yes! Purpose fuels an optimistic outlook and can even act as a shield against challenges, turning them into stepping stones for growth. Research suggests that older adults with a strong sense of purpose experience better health as they age, including a sharper mind and a stronger body. They’re also more likely to take preventative measures for their health. The bottom line is that a strong sense of purpose is paramount to your mental and physical well-being.

The tricky part is understanding the difference between living our genuine purpose and relentlessly seeking what we think our purpose is or should be. Add to this that our purpose may change over time depending on the seasons of our lives, and you’ve got the makings of a real quagmire. Mainly because we usually aren’t aware of how important our purpose is to us until those times when we feel… purposeless. Those experiencing a job loss, becoming empty nesters, retirees, people leaving the military, and even recent college graduates—as we grow and change, so too does our purpose, and those shifts aren’t always easy.

In times like these, it’s helpful to remember that the quickest way to find purpose again is to embody the purpose that we already have. It may be simple, minor, or decidedly unglamorous, but that does not mean it’s not purposeful or essential. My husband Michael has spoken about this very idea. He shared about how different Israelites had different roles in the desert. Some roles were crucial, and some were seemingly not important at all. But no matter what role they fulfilled, no matter the status or the type of position or job, each Israelite revealed the same quantity of Light. No matter what our purpose is, big or small, the opportunity to share our gifts and reveal our Light is always there.

From a greater spiritual perspective, the Creator has a unique plan for each of us. It may not be writing a bestseller or achieving a specific type of notoriety, wealth, or a Nobel prize. Your purpose on some days may be to simply offer words of encouragement to a total stranger. Other days, it may be meeting a challenge with levity and deep breath instead of leaning into your nature, whatever that nature might be—from internalizing stress, exploding in anger, blaming others, or criticizing yourself. We are part of a larger plan, and the more we lean into co-creating our purpose with The Creator, the more purposeful we will feel.

Another way we can find the path back to a sense of purpose is by understanding what is not our purpose. Interestingly, it’s usually things we’ve been conditioned to believe make us successful, worthy, or very purposeful. Here are a few places where you’re not going to find your purpose:

In a Big Paycheck

We often measure our worth by the digits on our paycheck, believing that a higher salary equates to greater happiness and fulfillment. But true success and purpose lie beyond these numbers. What if the real measure of your success is found in how you live your purpose daily, your impact on others, and the joy you experience in everyday life? While having a big job and an equally big paycheck allows for security and stability, it isn’t anyone’s sole purpose.

In the Material World

It is very easy to mistakenly equate a sense of purpose with things like wealth, status, and material possessions. It isn’t wrong to desire these things, and they certainly contribute to a comfortable life, but they are not what brings a sense of purpose. Anything missing from our inner experience will never be found outside of us—no matter the house we live in or how many followers we have. True fulfillment is about embracing and living our current purpose to its fullest expression. It’s about finding joy in the journey rather than just the physical destination.

In Comparing Ourselves to Others

When we’re feeling purposeless, many of us look to what others are doing. This isn’t necessarily bad. Being inspired by other people is a healthy way of clarifying what we want. However, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparison. We compare our salaries, possessions, and lifestyles with others, which leads not to inspiration and motivation but to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. When we are living our purpose, we are wholly unconcerned with others, and embracing our unique journey becomes its own source of joy. Everyone has their own path, and what matters most is that you live authentically and true to yourself.

Living the purpose you already have means embracing the present and recognizing the value in your current actions and daily experiences. Instead of constantly seeking a grand, elusive purpose, focus on the ways you are already making a difference in your everyday life. Acknowledge the impact of your kindness, the dedication you bring to your work, and the love you share with others. And if you don’t feel you show up in this way in your life and the lives of others, then this is the ideal place to create the shift from feeling purposeless to purposeful.

By appreciating and nurturing these aspects, you realize that purpose is not a distant goal but a daily practice. This shift in perspective allows you to find fulfillment and joy in the here and now, transforming ordinary moments into extraordinary ones. When you live the purpose you have, you create a life rich with meaning, authenticity, and deep satisfaction. Which, ironically, is precisely what it means to live a purposeful life.

Take purpose one day at a time. Your purpose isn’t something you have to find; it’s something you bring your consciousness to so that when it arises, you can recognize it.

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ARC Seattle

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Grow As We Go

You won’t be the only one
I am unfinished, I’ve got so much left to learn
I don’t know how this river runs
But I’d like the company through every twist and turn
Ooh, who said it’s true
That the growing only happens on your own?
They don’t know me and you

Those are lyrics from the song “Grow As We Go,” written and performed by Ben Platt, who is a Broadway star, actor, and musician. The lyrics are as vulnerable as they are beautiful. Everyone wants someone to grow with and, in turn, someone who wants to grow with them. But what does that actually mean? How do you “grow together” week-to-week, year-to-year?

Growing individually seems clear. It’s a no-brainer for some of us. While individuality and personal growth are very important, it is equally important to remember that relationships are dynamic entities that also require that same nurturing and development. Growth in a relationship happens when both partners commit to evolving together.

Here are a few ways that growth can be actualized in a relationship on a daily or even weekly basis.

Get Vulnerable

In our quest for self-improvement, we often overlook the power of vulnerability—that tender space of nuance where nothing is black and white, where we are imperfect, insecure, or any other state of being we’d rather not show another. By opening up and sharing these aspects of ourselves, we foster deeper connections. For couples, this means creating a safe space where both partners can express their fears, dreams, and insecurities without judgment. Dedicate time each week to a “vulnerability session” where you and your partner share something that has been weighing on your mind. This practice not only builds trust but also deepens your emotional intimacy. Remember, growth begins when we step out of our comfort zones and allow ourselves to be truly seen.

Do Something New Together

Being new at something together can be an amazing, active way to experience each other in equally new ways. It not only gives each partner a fresh set of eyes toward each other and the relationship, but it also helps you to shake up any unconscious routines and patterns. Taking a cooking class together, joining a book club (or creating one for just you two!), participating in a workshop, or learning a new language are all inspiring ways to open up new avenues of connection.

Cultivate a Shared Vision

In order to grow together, you have to know where you want to go together. A shared vision is the glue that binds a couple together, providing a sense of purpose and direction. Having common goals and aspirations creates a framework for mutual support and growth. This doesn’t mean that you have to share every ambition but rather that you find common ground in your values and long-term objectives.

Take time to sit down with your partner and discuss your individual goals and how you can support each other in achieving them. Then, create a vision board or a written plan that outlines your shared goals for the future. This could include anything from financial aspirations to big travel plans or professional pursuits like writing a book or starting a business. Revisit and update the vision regularly to ensure that you are both aligned and motivated. Most importantly, don’t forget to celebrate your manifestations.

Growing together as a couple is an ongoing journey that requires dedication, empathy, and a willingness to evolve. To harken back to Ben Platt’s lyric above, “I am unfinished, I have so much left to learn,”—it is by embracing this kind of vulnerability with our partners that we can foster a relationship that is not only resilient but also profoundly fulfilling. Remember, the journey of growth is not a destination but a continuous process of learning and evolving together. Love is not about being the perfect partner or being perfect in any way, but rather about growth and transformation and enjoying that process with someone who walks beside you, supporting each other along the way. You’ll find you are growing as you’re going.

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Lag Ba’Omer: Living Each Day Fully



Join Monica as she shares through examples and stories how the Light of the Zohar can assist us in living each day fully, remove our doubts and fears, and give us the clarity that the Light of the Creator is with us all of the time.

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