Monica Berg's Blog, page 2

What if Every Choice Was the Right One?

Many of us have been there—agonizing over a decision, big or small. Should I take this job? Move to that city? End this relationship? Even down to the everyday: what to order on the menu, which jeans to buy, whether to say yes or no to a coffee date. For those of us who are parents it can get even more daunting—what school to send them to, when to be strict and when to bend, how to handle a difficult moment. No matter who we are or the particulars of our experience, choices are a part of how we build our lives. We make countless choices every single day.

Some of them are easy, low-stakes choices that we just intuitively choose and move on. Others, not so much. We pour hours, even days, into research, pros and cons lists, endless conversations with friends, and still, we fear making the wrong choice. Consumer Reports Magazine has built an entire business around people who will do the research before buying a new air fryer because they are that committed to making the right choice.

What do parents often say to their children before they leave the house? Make good choices! Now, I’m not saying this is wrong, but it really drives home how obsessed we are with the idea that choices are very important and some really are, decidedly. But most? As it turns out …

According to Dr. Ellen Langer, the Harvard psychologist often called “the mother of mindfulness,” this is all an illusion. Dr. Langer says: There is no “right” choice.

Let that sink in for a moment.

We believe that for every decision there’s one perfect option waiting for us, and if only we gather enough information, think long and hard enough, we’ll find it. But life doesn’t work like that. And in actuality, Langer’s research shows that more information doesn’t guarantee better decisions. In most cases, it leads only to anxiety.

And here’s the truth: once we make a choice, we’ll only ever know the reality of that choice. The alternative becomes a ghost path. So when it comes to the times when we regret the “road not taken,” we’re really comparing our reality to a fantasy.

This is the foundation of Langer’s work, the difference between mindlessness and mindfulness. Mindlessness is an inactive state of mind that relies only on the past to assess the present. This is where ruminating over “what could have been” comes into play. However, when we switch the mindfulness we enter a state of mind that Langer describes as being actively engaged with the present moment. From this consciousness, we’re more flexible and able to receive new information.

Mindlessness says: “I need to make the right decision.”
Mindfulness says: “I need to make the decision work.”

Now that’s a radical shift in perspective! Making the decision right means choosing with the information at hand and then committing to making the absolute best of that path. Far more important than the initial decision is what you do afterwards. From a kabbalistic perspective, we can become present, ask the Creator for guidance, and with a consciousness of certainty, trust the process that unfolds.

Of course, it’s important to acknowledge that some choices are deeply emotional and can carry long-term consequences for our relationships, health, and overall well-being. When you find yourself unsure about how to approach those decisions, I recommend the 10-10-10 rule: ask yourself how you’ll feel about the decision in 10 minutes, 10 months, and 10 years. This thought exercise often provides immediate clarity. And to be clear, there are wrong choices—murder, theft, cruelty, and the like fall squarely into that category. What we’re exploring here are the everyday decisions that can keep us up at night: Which car should I buy? Where should I live? Buy the gym equipment or go with a gym membership?

Here are three tips to keep it simple, whether you have a choice to make or you made a choice that you’re second-guessing:

Shift your attention to the good. Every choice comes with both challenges and gifts. Instead of dwelling on what you lost by choosing this option, look for what you gained. Ask yourself: What opportunities exist here that I might be overlooking?

Stay curious. Mindfulness is about noticing new things. Every day on the path you’ve chosen, ask: What is fresh here? What can I learn? This opens up possibilities that make your choice more meaningful.

Take ownership. Decisions are less about destiny and more about what we do with them. When you stop asking, “Was this right?” and instead ask, “How can I bring my best self here?” you shift from passive doubt to empowered action.

The next time you find yourself agonizing over a decision, remember: flipping a coin might actually free you faster than overthinking it. In fact, Dr. Langer challenges her students to do this for all choices for a week, just flip a coin and see if any of those choices you left to chance make a substantial difference in the quality and trajectory of your life. Because what really matters isn’t the choice itself—it’s how you live it.

Life isn’t about finding the one perfect path. It’s about bringing mindfulness, curiosity, and consciousness to whichever path you’re on. When we do, every choice we make is the right one, no matter what.

The post What if Every Choice Was the Right One? appeared first on Monica Berg.

A Pocket Guide to Teshuvah

The month of Virgo—Elul in the kabbalistic calendar—is traditionally a time for us, once again, to take on the practice of teshuvah. While the word is often associated with “repentance,” its true meaning is the idea of “return.” Teshuvah is about returning to our truest selves, realigning with the Light of the Creator, and preparing our vessel to welcome the start of the new year at Rosh Hashanah.

According to Kabbalah, every misstep or mistake comes from a moment when our connection with the Light was blocked. The gift of teshuvah is that it allows us to go back and repair those breaks, bringing Light into the past so we can carry more Light into the future. Rav Berg even described it as a kind of spiritual time travel—something the kabbalists knew long before science fiction gave it a name.

While the gifts and the opportunities inherent in this practice might seem cosmic, the process itself is far from abstract. It’s practical and it’s personal.

Did we hurt someone with our words or actions?
We can heal the wound with sincere communication.

Did we harm ourselves with poor choices, limiting beliefs, or neglect?
We can revisit those moments and choose differently, offering ourselves the compassion we may never have received before. Sometimes the most transformative act is forgiving ourselves.

Teshuvah unfolds in six powerful steps:

Review. Make an honest list of where you fell short this past year—moments you regret, words you wish you hadn’t said, choices you’d take back. If you’re unsure, ask a trusted friend where you can grow. Listen openly, without defense.

Practice Empathy. Step into the shoes of the person you hurt—even if that person is you. See the situation through their eyes. What would you want to hear if you were them?

Be Compassionate. When you apologize or take action, let your goal be compassion, not self-justification. This is about accountability, not clearing your name.

Connect to Your Perfected Self. Embrace the feedback and make the change. Responsibility is not punishment—it’s empowerment. Every correction is a gift you give yourself and the world.

Forgive. True forgiveness requires ego to soften and the heart to open. Can you forgive yourself? When you extend gentleness inward, it becomes easier to extend it outward.

Release. Finally, let it go. When you can look back and know in your soul you would not repeat the same mistakes, you’ve completed the process. From here, you step into the new year lighter, freer, and more aligned.

I invite you to use this list intimately throughout your process, remembering it isn’t about perfection but about progress.

The practice of teshuvah is not about shame—it’s about possibility. Before entering into this inventory, connect with the Creator and ask for guidance. Ask to be shown what needs repair, ask to be led gently to the moment you most need to return to and heal. Trust that your practice of teshuvah will take you exactly where your soul needs to go.

In all honesty, it’s not fun to see our flaws, and at times, it can be painful. But if we are willing to really see ourselves – flawed and all –that is the first step in transforming into who we are destined to become. With no regrets.

The post A Pocket Guide to Teshuvah appeared first on Monica Berg.

What Your Soul Came Here to Learn

We tend to think of life as a straight line: birth, a span of years, and then death. But from the perspective of the soul, life is anything but linear. It’s more like a wheel, endlessly turning, carrying forward everything we’ve already learned, and offering us opportunities to correct, elevate, and expand. This is the essence of reincarnation. What if I told you that your soul is not bound to a single lifetime? That it arrives on Earth with a history—all of the light you’ve already revealed, lessons you have half-learned, debts maybe left unresolved—and all with a purpose to continue its unique growth?

It would change the way you looked at your life today, wouldn’t it?

It makes me think of the movie Groundhog Day. For those who don’t remember, Phil Connors (played hilariously by Bill Murray) wakes up and relives the same day over and over and over. He begins the film as an embodiment of ego—caring only for himself, his ambitions, and what others can do for him—but by the end, he’s completely transformed. The main people in his day, or in this case his life, remain the same. The souls that surround him challenge him and encourage him in all sorts of ways but the main lesson—to transform his soul from one of grasping to one of giving—also remains the same.

It is a beautiful metaphor for reincarnation. We “wake up” at the beginning of a “new day” and our only purpose is to grow and transform. Just like Phil, we are presented with a collection of challenges and the way we respond each time determines our experience and our evolution.

Have you ever noticed that certain challenges follow you like a shadow? Maybe you struggle with confrontation, self-worth, or trust, even though in other areas of life you shine with ease. According to Kabbalah, those sticking points (the ones that have you saying “oh no, not this again!”) are not random. They are markers, hints left by your soul. They point directly to the work you came here to do.

True spiritual growth happens when we turn toward those uncomfortable sticking points and rather than curse or avoid them, ask: What is my soul trying to correct through this?

The same is true of the people in our lives. Every interaction—whether inspiring, challenging, or frustrating—carries a thread of continuity. That “random” person who shows up needing your help may actually be part of your soul’s unfinished work from a past lifetime. The continued conflict you have with someone might be exactly what your soul needs in this lifetime. The frustration and aggravation that arises from these types of dynamics might feel personal, but the truth is we’re all one. We are all from the same root of soul and separation—as real as it may feel—is an illusion.

That definitely changes things, doesn’t it?

When you start to see life this way, “chance encounters” transform into sacred appointments. Even the most difficult relationships take on a new meaning. They aren’t punishments. They’re opportunities to repay old debts, to heal broken bonds, or to elevate not only your soul but the soul of the other person. No matter how “insignificant” they might seem. Then again, from the lens of reincarnation not a single person we encounter is insignificant. In fact, one of my favorite principles of reincarnation is the opportunity to expand our love.

Most of us reserve our deepest love for a few close people—our children, partners, or family. But spiritually, that love is meant to grow, extending outward in widening circles. The person who frustrates you, the stranger who crosses your path, the friend who unexpectedly asks for help—these souls may once have been as close to you as your own family. And even if they weren’t, they are part of the same great network of souls. When you expand your capacity to love beyond the few to the many, you step into the highest work your soul came here to do. Continuing with the Groundhog Day analogy, we watch this happen perfectly throughout the film. Phil Connors doesn’t just fall deeply in love with Andi McDowell’s character meant to be his soulmate, he truly comes to love every person in the town, even those who frustrated him relentlessly in the beginning.

When you view life through the perspective of reincarnation, chaos suddenly gives way to purpose. The difficult people are no longer enemies; they are mirrors and partners in your soul’s evolution. The stubborn challenges are no longer punishments; they are invitations. Nothing is random and everything has meaning, everything is an opportunity that may not come again.

Your soul did not come here to suffer and life is not random. It came with intention. And everything you experience—the joy, the struggle, the love, the conflict—is part of what you came here to learn, correct, and ultimately, transform into Light. Don’t get stuck in a Groundhog Day of your own, accept life’s invitations the first time they come around.

The post What Your Soul Came Here to Learn appeared first on Monica Berg.

Virgo: Four Weeks That Shape the Next Twelve Months

The New Moon of Virgo is no ordinary moment. It’s the reset button of the year—an invitation to look back over the past twelve months with honesty, compassion, and a willingness to change.
Yes, that means reviewing everything: the words you spoke and the ones you didn’t, the days you showed up and the days you didn’t, the moments you were generous and the moments you withheld. And let’s be honest—this last year has not been an easy one. Uncertainty, doubt, and fear have touched us all, and those conditions have a way of pulling behaviors out of us that aren’t in alignment with who we truly are.

The beauty of this month is that it offers something no other time of the year does: the ability to erase our actions, thoughts, and deeds from the past twelve months. What you shift now—what you correct, release, and transform—will not only shape this month, but it will ripple into the entire year ahead.

Think of it like this: If I told you that the only food you’d have for the next year was whatever you could gather in the next four weeks, you would drop everything to focus on gathering as much as possible. That’s the energy this New Moon calls for—focused, wholehearted, no-holding-back dedication.

And while this might sound intense, the approach is not meant to be harsh or filled with shame. This is not about beating yourself up. It’s about curiosity. It’s about an open-hearted recognition that mistakes are simply invitations to grow. Accountability is not punishment—it’s the doorway to transformation. It also helps to remember that there is not a single person in existence who is immune to mistakes, missteps, and course corrections. No human being is perfect.

I know this firsthand. For the first 17 years of my life, I chased perfection. I believed it was the highest achievement, that it was the only path to a happy, fulfilled life—and I was miserable. I was miserable because perfection is an illusion. It keeps us rigid, afraid to take risks, and disconnected from who we’re meant to become. It wasn’t until I embraced my imperfections as opportunities that that happy and fulfilling life I dreamt of could really truly begin.

In Kabbalah, we understand that our actions—especially the negative ones—create energy around us. That energy can block us from manifesting the things that we deeply desire. Luckily, Kabbalah also gives us a roadmap for clearing that negativity: the practice of T’shuvah—or repentance, in the truest and most elevated sense of the word.

T’shuvah is a cosmic eraser. It allows us to energetically wipe the slate clean, to remove the heaviness of the past so we don’t carry it into the future. It’s not about conjuring up regrets as a source of self-flaggation—it’s about setting ourselves free.

The month of Virgo brings with it many energetic gifts to assist us in this moment. The first being precision, a detailed eye toward what’s missing or out of place—not in others, but in ourselves. With this awareness, we can clearly see where fundamental change is needed. Not a little bit of change. Not “slightly less angry” or “a touch more patient.” We’re talking complete transformation.

Ask yourself:
What is the one thing I want to be completely free of this year?

Maybe it’s a long-standing resentment, an unhealthy habit, or a limiting belief that drains your energy and keeps you small. Whatever it is, write it down and take a moment to imagine what it would feel like to be rid of it for good. Let that feeling guide you and walk through the following steps:

Envision your highest self. See yourself beyond logic, beyond doubt. Who could you be if nothing held you back?Identify what needs to change. Be willing to look at the moments you wish you could do over—without collapsing into shame.Feel the other’s perspective. Put yourself in the shoes of anyone you’ve hurt and really try to feel what they might have experienced. Let empathy guide your insight.Repair where possible. Reach out, apologize, make amends where necessary, unless it would further hurt the other person or you. This is accountability in action.Release completely. Let go—not once, but over and over if you need to. Forgive others and yourself so that the past no longer steals your joy.

The kabbalists taught that before anything takes form, there’s a moment of absolute perfection. The unopened flower bud, the butterfly’s wing before it breaks through the cocoon, the moment before a baby’s first cry—pure perfection. This is the opportunity before us now: to step into that vast perfection, to see ourselves through the eye of the Creator by embracing who we are, forgiving ourselves, letting go of the past, and allowing change to reshape us into who we are destined to be. The practice of t’shuva not only prepares us for the arrival of Rosh Hashanah, it brings us another step closer to our highest self.

This New Moon of Virgo is your chance. Don’t gather your inventory lightly. Gather with all your heart and watch the transformation unfold.

The post Virgo: Four Weeks That Shape the Next Twelve Months appeared first on Monica Berg.

What a Pleasure: Transform Reactivity in 2 Steps

We all want more joy, more clarity, more love, more purpose. We go into our day with every hope and intention of experiencing more of these things… until something happens. Anything, really, that sets us off. The tone of a co-worker, the mess our kids seem to immediately make upon arriving home from school, the person who cuts us off in traffic when we’re running late. Before we know it: BOOM! Like a simmering pot that eventually boils over, we react in anger and frustration and, almost always, have a mess of our own to clean-up.

But it doesn’t need to be this way. In fact, those moments that set the simmer in motion can be opportunities for tremendous positivity.

Kabbalah teaches that there is one true system for turning these negative experiences around: developing affinity—a deep, lasting relationship—with the Light.

That might sound poetic, but in practice it feels anything but. Affinity with the Light doesn’t come from everything going our way or from forcing a smile when we’re actually fuming; it comes from the small moments that challenge us. What’s more, those challenges aren’t random. The kabbalists explain that each of us is given opportunities tailor-made for our soul to help us see our lack—that inner sense of not-enoughness that triggers us to react. It’s the urge to control, to escape, to lash out, to grasp for something outside of ourselves to make us feel better.

These moments don’t usually feel like opportunities. They feel like irritations, inconveniences, or even full-on crises. But they are the precise conditions under which we can build that relationship with the Light and we can do it in two steps.

Step One: Pause.

Let’s use that example of getting cut off in traffic. You’re driving to an important meeting, already running late. Suddenly, two cars pull in front of you and slow to a crawl, blocking your way.

What’s your first impulse? Frustration? Anger? Impatience? Maybe all three at once?

Congratulations! This is your test.

Kabbalah would say this moment was custom-designed for you. Not as punishment, but as a training ground. Your instinct might be to honk, mutter under your breath, or stew in irritation. That might feel satisfying for a second—but it’s an energy grab, a reaction born of lack.

Instead, just pause. Interrupt the autopilot. Take a breath. Notice what’s happening inside you. You don’t need to make the frustration disappear—you just need to create enough space to see it before it runs the show.

Step Two: Say to yourself, “What a pleasure.”

I know—it sounds counterintuitive. There’s nothing pleasurable about being stuck behind slow drivers when you’re late. But you’re not saying it because the situation itself is enjoyable. You’re saying it because you recognize what’s really happening:

“This is an opportunity to transform my lack, to become more like the Light.”

Every time you resist the urge to react, you make a deposit in your spiritual bank account. You’re becoming less controlled by external circumstances and more rooted in your inner Light. This isn’t about sugarcoating—telling yourself, “Well, maybe this happened to save me from an accident.” That’s just rationalizing. It’s about celebrating the opportunity itself. “What a pleasure that I get to see my lack right now. What a pleasure that I have the awareness to pause. What a pleasure that I can choose differently.”

Over time, this practice rewires how you respond to life. You stop being someone who only feels good when things are going smoothly, and you start to find power in the very moments that once knocked you off center. Instead of shrinking when lack appears, you lean in. Instead of being drained by challenges, you use them to grow. And in doing so, you deepen your relationship with the Light—moment by moment, choice by choice.

The next time you feel the discomfort of lack, remember:
Pause. Say, “What a pleasure.”

Not because the situation is perfect, but because you are using it to become more aligned with the Light. That’s the real pleasure.

The post What a Pleasure: Transform Reactivity in 2 Steps appeared first on Monica Berg.

Tu B’Av: Becoming the Soulmate

Every summer, under the light of the full moon in the month of Leo, we reach Tu B’Av—a moment of love, unity, and spiritual connection. Cosmically, this marks the beginning of the sun and moon’s reunion, making a day associated with the union of soulmates. While it is often lovingly referred to as the “Kabbalistic Valentine’s Day,” this ancient holiday is far more than romantic fluff. It’s a powerful energetic window that opens us to soulmate love—not only in the form of a partner, but also in the form of purpose, fulfillment, and deep inner alignment.

But let’s start with the word “soulmate.” It gets tossed around a lot. Some people believe a soulmate is a person who completes them. Others think it means effortless love—no fights, no challenges, no friction. If that’s your definition, I have news for you: you’re not looking for a soulmate, you’re looking for a fantasy.

Soulmate relationships aren’t frictionless. In fact, they’re often the opposite. The purpose of a soulmate is not to give you a perfect life—it’s to help you grow into your highest self. We live in a culture that teaches us to crave the highlight reel: the butterflies, the romantic text messages, the perfect vacations. But real love? Real love is forged in the moments when you’re asked to stretch, soften, speak truthfully, and stay curious even when you’re hurting or afraid.

One of the most common misconceptions about relationships is that when they’re “meant to be,” they’ll be problem-free. That if you’re with your soulmate, it’ll all feel easy. But that’s just not how growth works. That’s not how the soul evolves. If your relationship never challenges you, it will eventually bore you. And if it never invites you to change, it will slowly cause you to shrink. We all want to be chosen, seen, supported—but we also need to be lovingly challenged. Someone who not only believes in our dreams but reminds us to keep chasing them. Someone who doesn’t just take our hand, but sometimes gently pushes us forward. Unfortunately, this is not the norm in our current world of relating.

What I see more often than not are relationships that unconsciously become transactional. “I earn the money, you handle the kids.” “I cook, you clean.” “You deal with your drama on your own, I’ll deal with mine in silence.” These arrangements might keep a household running or looking functional—but they won’t keep the flame of soulmate love lit. Not by a long shot.

True love and support aren’t logistical. These things are emotional and deeply spiritual. It’s someone saying, “I see what you’re capable of. And I’m not going to let you forget it.” It’s listening deeply. Asking curious questions. Holding space for each other’s process and purpose—even when they shift.

And this doesn’t only apply to couples. Calling in soulmate love begins with becoming your own soulmate first. It begins with asking yourself those very real questions. “Am I supporting my own growth?” “Do I challenge myself with love and curiosity?” “Am I building a life that would excite and inspire me—even if no one else was around?”

Because we don’t magnetize deep, sacred love by sitting around and waiting to be chosen. We attract it by becoming it.

There’s a scene in The Runaway Bride that I always come back to when I think about this topic. Julia Roberts plays a woman who keeps leaving her fiancés at the altar. Eventually, she realizes she’s been morphing herself into whatever each man wanted—down to how she ordered her eggs. Sunny side up for one, scrambled for another. So she makes every type of egg. She tastes them all. And finally, she learns what she likes.

It’s funny, but it’s also a profound metaphor for love. How many of us truly know what we want? What our genuine values are, separate from our families of origin, friends, or partners? Our preferences? Our dreams? Or have we just absorbed someone else’s and hoped they’d be “right” or enough?

Soulmate love requires true self-awareness and a knowledge of where you’ve been, where you are, and where you want to go. It requires intimacy with self, first. You won’t be calling in a soulmate, you’ll be calling in an image of a soulmate. And when the mirage of novelty inevitably fades, you’ll wonder why you feel invisible in your own life. This is why seeing ourselves first is so important and on a day like Tu B’Av, we are invited into a spiritual portal that can assist us in reconnecting to the soul of love—not just the image of it.

Whether you’re single, partnered, healing, or hopeful, it’s a moment to ask:

Where have I lost myself in love?

Where have I settled for being supported in function, but not in spirit?

Am I loving from fullness or fear?

Am I listening deeply—to others, and to myself?

This holiday isn’t about waiting for “The One.” It’s about becoming aligned enough to recognize them when they come. It’s about calling in the love that sees you, challenges you, supports you, and walks beside you—not because it’s easy, but because it’s real. So light a candle. Set an intention. Journal. Reflect. Take a walk under the moon. Make a list of the ways you want to be loved—and then ask yourself how you’re embodying those qualities, right now.

Because calling in soulmate love begins with becoming soulmate love.

The post Tu B’Av: Becoming the Soulmate appeared first on Monica Berg.

Is Our Will Really Free?

A few weeks back, during a vacation we took to Europe, I found myself on a small boat heading to the dock at a nearby seaside village. We were greeted by the man who runs the boats in and out of this harbor, an Italian gentleman with a thick accent working alongside what looked like his son. When I asked if it was indeed a family operation, he smiled and introduced his son to us, but as the son spoke, I found myself befuddled. While his father had an Italian accent, the son spoke with an equally thick Australian accent. My curiosity was officially piqued…

I asked a full gamut of questions and learned that his mother was Australian, that he had traveled quite a bit, and was trying to decide between going to school or staying and working with his father. He loved the sea life but admitted to feeling a lot of pressure now that he was 18 to make the right decision. As he put it, “This decision will determine the rest of my life.”

This decision will determine the rest of my life.

Have you ever felt this way about a decision? If so, I’ll share with you what I shared with this young man: you can always change your mind. You might try something for two years or three years, maybe even ten years, and then decide it’s not for you anymore. No matter how old or young we are, we can and will change our minds many times throughout our lifetime. We change our minds multiple times every day. The ability to choose something new at any time is our free will.

This is one of my favorite teachings in Kabbalah. We don’t get to choose where we begin or where we end in this lifetime. We don’t get to choose the family we’re born into, the body we inhabit, or even the major life events that seem to appear out of nowhere. But there is one thing we do get to choose: how much we enjoy the journey.

This is the essence of our free will. It isn’t the ability to control everything in our lives, but the ability to choose how we respond to everything in our lives—consciously, intentionally, and with purpose.

Too often, people confuse free will with control. They think if they’re not calling every shot, directing every scene, or scripting every word, then they’ve failed somehow. This belief not only burdens us with unnecessary pressure—it’s also not true. Control and free will are not the same thing. Control is an illusion; it’s a pursuit that never gets you where you intended to go, and rarely where you ultimately need to arrive. Free will is a spiritual truth; it’s surrendering to the process. Knowing that life is all about process and choosing your response to whatever life throws at you.

Kabbalistically, free will is not about micromanaging the details of our lives but about choosing the consciousness that perceives those details. It’s choosing to chuckle when things don’t go our way instead of pouting. It’s the willingness to get curious during a conflict instead of reacting. It’s the kindness we choose in response to harshness. It’s the grace we give ourselves when we make a mistake, when all we want to do is beat ourselves up. We are infinitely free to choose how we want to experience anything. Which is amazing considering that not very much else is up to us.

Science is here to back it up. Recent studies in neuroscience have shown that our brains often make decisions before we even consciously register them. In a famous experiment by neuroscientist Benjamin Libet, participants were asked to move their hands at any moment of their choosing. Brain scans revealed that the decision to move was detectable before the person was even aware they had made it. Before they had ever moved!

Some scientists take this to mean we don’t have free will at all. But I see it differently. Choosing to take action and choosing to change our thinking are two different things, and the latter is where free will lives. Just because a thought arises doesn’t mean we are enslaved to it. Our soul has the power to override the mind. We can pause, reflect, and re-choose.

The moment of pause is where we enact the power of our free will.

So much of our suffering comes from believing that we need to “figure it all out,” that we need to have the right job, the right partner, the right bank balance. But Kabbalah teaches that the process is the purpose. Every delay, every detour, every disruption—these are not mistakes. They are invitations to greater transformation. Free will is not about getting from point A to point B with as little disruption as possible. Not only would that be unbelievably boring it would allow for no growth, no surprise, and no evolution. It might be absent of lows, but it would guarantee no highs either.

Choosing to enjoy the process, however, guarantees a life of adventure, wonder, and fulfillment.

Where in my life am I trying to control an outcome? What would happen if you paused and made a new choice? What if you chose to see it as a blessing even now?

The beauty of free will is that there is no way to get it right, and you get infinite opportunities to choose anew. Living in this realm, everything becomes beautiful. Maybe not easy, maybe not perfect, maybe not at all how you expected, but it will be authentic, real, and inspiring. You are completely free, right now, to choose whatever you want.

Now that’s a blessing.

The post Is Our Will Really Free? appeared first on Monica Berg.

HuffPost

The post HuffPost appeared first on Monica Berg.

Courageous Compassion

When I think of Leo, a few things come immediately to mind, but the first, of course, is the lion and all it symbolizes. Strength. Boldness. Courage. The lion is king of the jungle for a reason—it radiates power. But power is a tricky thing. Leo is a sign that is often associated with royalty and Kings, Emperors, and World Leaders… people not necessarily associated with empathy and altruism. This is why the lesson of the month of Leo is about learning to shine in ways that elevate others, not just ourselves. And you don’t need to be a Leo to feel this energy. We are all invited to join in the work of this month: to take responsibility for our impact, to stand in integrity, and to lead with both strength and kindness.

Leo is ruled by the Sun, the celestial body that everything revolves around. The Sun shines without judgment, discrimination, and certainly doesn’t choose how or when. It may not be a sentient being, but it’s still a powerful metaphor and model for our leadership. This month invites us to use our voice, to take up space, to be seen. But it also asks us to balance that visibility with compassion, empathy, and vulnerability. True power isn’t about domination. It’s about devotion.

It’s easy to think leadership is about how we show up “out there.” But it starts much closer to home—with our thoughts, our words, our inner dialogue. If we’re gossiping, judging, repressing, or resenting, we’re not leading—we’re also not in integrity. An effective leader holds their energy with intention. They know that empowerment isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being connected. But this is challenging, right? Just like the Sun, our egos want us to be the center of the universe. When others hurt, judge, or embarrass us, the last thing we want to do is to extend them compassion. But this is work of this month. It’s also the gift. When we offer kindness and compassion in this radical way, we strengthen our hearts.

Rav Ashlag, one of the great Kabbalists, was often criticized and judged; some people openly sought to embarrass and ridicule him. While he was hurt by these words and actions, he never retaliated. The Talmud teaches that a person who is hurt and embarrassed but does not strike back “has the strength of the Sun within him.” The gift of this month is one of strength, and it offers a spiritual kind of royalty—one that doesn’t react in weakness but exhibits a true mastery of self.

We’ve all had encounters where we felt deeply hurt or embarrassed by the actions of others.. Me, too. My immediate response was to set a boundary, and I did. While this boundary was necessary, I found myself stuck in an emotional limbo, really bothered by the fact that I couldn’t find compassion. I didn’t want to reconnect with them or excuse their behavior. But I also didn’t want to hold onto all the anger. I asked myself: What if this is happening for me? What if this is an opportunity for growth?

And something shifted. Suddenly, I didn’t have to force myself to feel compassion. By reframing the experience, I was able to honor my feelings and my experience while simultaneously seeing the other person more clearly. I could see their fear. Their wounds. Their humanity. Suddenly, understanding came easily. I could forgive. I could let it go. I could be free.

Brene Brown echoes a similar experience. She said that compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity, even in the face of judgment or difference. And when we’re not met with that same energy, we often have to draw boundaries—and not just any boundaries, but “boundaries of steel.” But even those can be created with love. She once told the story of inviting a friend who was an active alcoholic to her annual Christmas party. Before the event, she gently set a boundary: “I can’t have you drink at my house,” she explained lovingly and clearly. Her friend reacted with hurt and anger and chose not to attend. Brene didn’t back down from her boundary in the face of her upset, but still expressed understanding of her friend’s choice.

But it is not easy. Sometimes, the last thing we want to do is extend compassion to people we don’t understand, who have hurt us, or whom we’ve judged. But to do so transmutes and transforms not just us, but our relationships and our lives.

What does courageous compassion look like for you? Ask yourself:

Is there an area of my life where I can show up more honestly, with authenticity, and integrity?

Is it having an honest conversation? Breaking a habit? Repairing a relationship?

Where am I being challenged—and how can I act in ways that are strong and still kind?

My son David always inspires me. One night a few years ago, David came into the house and said something off-the-cuff that was so profound to me. He said, “You know, I realized something. Life is too short to do the wrong thing.”

Now, I always say that life is too short to not do what you love, but this was even deeper than that. Yes, it means not to go out of your way to hurt people, to act selfishly, to lie, or to cheat. But it also means that life is too short to hold on to resentments, anger, and hurt, and to withhold compassion.

This month, we are being asked to lean into our greatness but also to lean into our ability to offer compassion to everyone. Including ourselves.

The post Courageous Compassion appeared first on Monica Berg.

CT Buzz

The post CT Buzz appeared first on Monica Berg.