Monica Berg's Blog, page 10
September 11, 2024
September 5, 2024
August 29, 2024
Virgo: A Path to Forgiveness
This week we leave the proud, determined energy of Leo and step into the powerful, practical energy of Virgo. This month is dedicated to assessing the past, taking inventory, and accounting for ourselves this past year. It is a time when we take an unflinching appraisal of ourselves, our words, and our actions. Inevitably, you will uncover words you regret having said and thoughts that you wished you hadn’t allowed to creep into your head. There may be actions that require an apology, habits that need changing, and relationships that need rejuvenation.
Seriously: this month is intense.
But before you sink into a spiral of shame and regret, take a moment to pause. I want to stress: don’t beat yourself up. I invite you to review your past with an eye toward exploration, a consciousness of curiosity, and an open-heartedness that understands mistakes are opportunities for growth. We all mess up—we’re human—and what sets us apart is our willingness to right our wrongs.
Luckily, there is a process built for this exact endeavor. It’s known in Hebrew as Teshuvah, repentance.
The kabbalists teach that Teshuvah is a practice that works a little like a cosmic eraser. It clears all of the negativity that we created in the previous year and prepares us for Rosh Hashanah, which is the first day of Libra. This is the day when the entire physical world came into existence.
Think about the beauty in the physical world. Before anything is made manifest, there is a moment of perfection that immediately precedes it: A budding flower that breaks its first bloom, the wing of a butterfly that emerges from its cocoon, the moment just before a baby is born. That precise moment is perfect because everything that led up to that moment comes to fruition.
The power of Virgo symbolizes the perfection that precedes the moment of creation, and there is no other time in the year when we can connect so powerfully to our own personal possibility. If we ask to be connected to our perfect selves, we can consciously disconnect from our imperfections. We can suspend our self-judgment, self-criticism, and insecurity and see the highest version of ourselves. By doing so, we access the power needed to become that person. Because the road to our highest self requires work—something all Virgos are ready to do.
Rav Ashlag said that out of 1,000 people who begin their spiritual journey, only one of them will complete it. The work of transformation isn’t easy or comfortable, nor does it happen neatly or on a timeline that works for us. It requires certainty, surrender, and a willingness to embrace change. These are tall orders, which is why connecting to our perfected self as we begin the practice of Teshuvah is necessary.
Teshuvah is a six-step process:
1. ReviewThis begins with creating a list of everything we need to repair and amend from the previous year. These statements can begin with
“I wish I hadn’t said…”
“I regret choosing…”
“If I could go back and avoid…”
Your cosmic eraser requires you to dig deep.
If you are struggling to pinpoint where you can do better, reach out to a trusted friend. Ask someone whose opinion and perspective you value, and who truly loves you. Ask them, “where do you think I can grow?” Listen fully and without defensiveness.
2. Practice EmpathyPut yourself in the shoes of the person you hurt or slighted. Try to understand how your actions affected them. Don’t justify or defend yourself. Try to feel how your behavior made them feel. Seeing the situation through their eyes, ask what you would want to hear if you were them.
3. Be CompassionateAs you put your atonement into action, whether it be through apologizing, writing a letter, or sitting down to have a conversation, let your objective be only compassion. This isn’t about clearing your name or asserting your side. It isn’t about getting someone else to understand you or tell you it’s okay. It’s about you holding yourself accountable.
4. Connect to Your Perfected SelfNow that you have expressed yourself and are clear on what you need to change, it is time to implement the feedback. This is where our perfected self goes to work. Accepting fault, hearing criticism, and taking responsibility are difficult actions, but when we align with our highest self, we understand them to be necessary on the journey to fulfillment. Feedback is a blessing, and the changes you make are gifts that you give to yourself and the world.
5. ForgiveForgiveness is powerful. If we employed it every day, our lives would be drastically different. But it, too, is a challenge because to do so, our ego needs to relax, and our heart needs to open. Furthermore, we are only able to forgive others to the degree that we can forgive ourselves. Can you forgive yourself for the mistakes you made? Can you offer yourself empathy and compassion? It’s amazing how, when you are gentle with yourself, it is so much easier to offer forgiveness to those who hurt you.
6. Release ItOnce you have gone through the entire process, it’s time to let it go. Release the negativity, the pain, and anything else that doesn’t serve you. You’ll know you are ready when you can look back on your list of errors and know—in your bones—you would never do those things again. From here, you are ready to step into a brand new year.
The true gift of Teshuvah is understanding that while everyone holds both positive and negative qualities, our job is to consistently choose to see the good in ourselves and others. Not just during this month, but every single day.
Today, be conscious of your thoughts about others. Focus on the strengths and gifts of friends and acquaintances, rather than their flaws. Lifting up others is not only the kind and loving thing to do, it will lighten your own load.
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August 28, 2024
Fresh Living on KUTV
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August 22, 2024
Tikkune: The Key to Your Superpower
Have you ever wondered why particular challenges arise for you when the same area of life seems to be free and easy for someone else?
Have you ever caught yourself saying things like, “I don’t understand why this keeps happening? What am I missing?”
Or maybe you’ve simply wondered what your purpose in life is, what your unique superpowers might be.
In Kabbalah, there is a concept called Tikkune, which is essential to any exploration of our purpose and certainly the discovery of our superpowers. (Which, spoiler alert, we all have!)
Tikkune translates to “correction.” Throughout our lives, we are meant to work on or “correct” some aspect of our nature. Much like the origin story of any superhero involves a form of trauma, we, too, carry a challenging inner energy that we are meant to face and transform. This is energy that has carried over from previous lifetimes and contains pieces of negative words or actions that our soul intends to reconcile. What we have done in previous incarnations—things like choices or behaviors that came from a place of reactivity and selfishness—influences our current lives. When we take on the work of our Tikkune, we say yes to our ultimate evolution.
Does it sound intense? Yes, it often feels intense, too. However, it is not a punishment—it’s an opportunity—a path we have chosen to walk that is dotted with many gifts and blessings.
Everyone’s Tikkune is unique to them, and it can manifest in a myriad of different ways.
The person who leaves one relationship to get into another with the same exact type of person over and over again.
The person who, no matter what business or company they work for, ends up with the same challenges from the same kind of manager.
The person who is seemingly always in financial straits no matter how much money they make.
What repeated patterns do you see popping up in your life over and over again? They are clues to your Tikkune, and until you become conscious of them and commit to working through them, the universe will continue to place the pattern in your path. Luckily, there’s good news: the more we address our Tikkune, the closer we come to our purpose. With each karmic knot we untangle, a new blessing or inherent superpower is revealed to us.
Your Tikkune that dreaded pattern or challenge that you wish would just disappear, is actually directly related to your superpower. Your superpower is usually your Tikkune flipped upside down. Before I get to that, though, one distinction needs to be made. Our Tikkune is not something that is “wrong” or “broken” within us. It is the way in which our soul reveals itself, and it’s important to remember that our soul is already perfect. Like a diamond, some layers and pressures must be removed before we can share the illumination of that diamond with the world.
Those layers may look like pride, anger, judgment, control, fear, low self-esteem, or any negative emotions we chronically experience. Our Tikkune presents us with these difficult emotions and states of being, and we can either avoid or overcome them. Choosing to overcome specific challenges or aspects of nature requires great effort, but it is through this effort that we become who we’re meant to be: the creators of our reality rather than passive participants.
My daughter Abigail is a perfect example of what it looks like to face your Tikkune and transform it into a gift. When she was diagnosed with dyslexia, she was plagued by a false belief that she was stupid. She felt different from her peers and was afraid of this unknown dyslexia label thrust upon her… ultimately, she was facing tremendous self-doubt. Until she made a choice to transform the way she thought about dyslexia and begin sharing her story with others. The result was incredibly healing as she began to see how she could empower others experiencing the same thing.
Facing her Tikkune didn’t mean her dyslexia magically evaporated. It meant that she transformed it into a superpower.
The Kabbalists make this very clear—the greatest Light always requires the most tremendous effort to reveal. If we want to reveal our superpowers, the best parts of ourselves, we need to work for them. Tikkune is that process.
The Zohar, the foundational text of Kabbalah, reiterates again and again the statement that “blessings reside in concealed places,” and the Kabbalists elaborate, explaining that it is really in those concealed places—the places we least expect—where the most extraordinary Light can sprout from.
The Zohar also shares a beautiful secret: only we truly know and can fully see our superpowers. No one but us can do this work of discovering and revealing our own superpowers.
What is a weakness that you are afraid to own fully?
Where do you feel the tenderness of vulnerability?
What challenges do you consistently come up against?
What is something you hide about yourself for fear of rejection or judgment?
These are the tenderest places that I am asking you to examine, so a great deal of patience and grace is necessary. Facing our Tikkune is not about taking a red pen to ourselves or being overly critical or punishing. Quiet the opposite. Our Tikkune should met with curiosity. Take the answers to the questions above, and after accepting and acknowledging them, place your hand over your heart and ask:
How might this be my greatest gift?
The post Tikkune: The Key to Your Superpower appeared first on Monica Berg.
August 15, 2024
Not Your Type? Or Exactly What You Didn’t Know You Wanted?
Have you heard the viral TikTok song of the summer in which Megan Boni declares: “I’m looking for a man in finance with a trust fund, 6’5”, blue eyes.”
That’s a comedically specific “type.” Breaking down the available data, perhaps TWO single men in the U.S. meet her criteria. This is all for fun, of course, but like all good comedy, it has a kernel of truth. Check out these quick-bite bios found on a dating site:
Tall, avid cyclist, loves stand-up comedy.
Blonde, from the East Coast, loves cooking.
From London, currently in NYC, devoted plant parent
They’re short, to the point, and share enough to pique someone’s interest. This approach might work when you’re scrolling through Netflix to find the next show you want to binge, but taglines as a means to meet a love match? That’s… complicated.
It’s no wonder that the state of modern dating is leaving so many jaded, disappointed, and, at the worst, heartbroken and hopeless. Add to that that so many people are working from home post-COVID, removing a larger sense of community, naturally meeting a real partner now feels on par with winning the lottery.
If you’re reading this and thinking, “Yes, I know, it’s awful, but what am I supposed to do?”
My answer would be: try contra-dating.
Contra-dating is a refreshing and transformative approach that flips the script on conventional dating practices with one key directive: be open to dating outside your “type.”
We all have a vision of our ideal partner. They’re a blend of all the physical attributes we find attractive: successful, smart, nurturing, a great sense of humor, sensitive, caring, loyal… the list goes on. And by the way, that’s the kind of list I can get behind. Weeding out prospects based on wealth, specific height, eye color and personal style choices may mean you dismiss Mr. or Ms. Right before ever giving them a shot. While it is very valuable to be clear on what you want and what expectations you have, it’s just as valuable to understand your illusions. The first one is that no one person can check off this exhaustive list.
Now, I’m not saying toss the list out, nor am I saying that your ideal partner doesn’t exist. But, if dating has become a struggle, contra-dating might be an interesting answer.
Going on a date with someone that you might not consider a romantic prospect challenges the idea that dating is a means to an end, such as securing a long-term partner or fulfilling societal norms. It’s pretty difficult to experience a natural bloom of affection when you’re spending the first hour assessing whether this one is “the one.” That’s not fun for anyone! Instead, it becomes an opportunity to connect with others on a deeper level, learn about yourself, and practice being open to something new.
This doesn’t have to be something to obsess over, and of course, you want to spend time with people that you have some kind of interest in. For example, let’s say that you would list The Notebook as your favorite movie, and an ideal date would be a beach picnic. A perfect contra-date experience would be with someone who invites you to a lecture series on psychics followed by craft beers and arcade games. If you prefer the quiet type, give the extrovert a chance. It’s not where you imagine you’d find your soulmate, but that’s the entire point.
I’ve told the story of meeting my husband so many times, and while contra-dating didn’t exist at that time, I certainly wouldn’t have categorized Michael as my “type.” The way we each enjoyed being on a beach in Mexico said it all. I was luxuriating in the sun and taking in the splendor of all the activity around me. And there was Michael, uncomfortable and miserable, studying an ancient text in Aramaic in the heat, desperately trying to cover his entire body, including his head, with a towel.
Remember what I said about illusions? When we understand what illusions we might have— “a partner who is X is going to make me happy,” “if only she were more Y then our lives would be perfect”—we can practice letting them go and being open. Our five senses only allow us to see what is materially around us. Had I relied only on what my five senses reported to me that day, I would never had the chance to see just how much we actually had in common and, more importantly, how happy we would make each other.
Luckily, I didn’t. And I have been married to my soulmate for over 27 years.
Staying open and curious is a recipe not just for a fulfilling and ultimately successful dating experience but also for a fulfilling life. When we step outside of our comfort zone, we say yes to personal transformation and yes to being open to all the beauty life has to offer us. Contra-dating is one way that you can do this, but the principles within it apply to many other areas of life.
If you prefer quiet jazz, spend an evening out at a rock show.
If you love dance clubs, change it up with a candlelight yoga class.
If you usually go left, try right today.
Maybe you’ll hate it, but maybe you’ll also discover something—or someone—you love.
Contra-dating offers a refreshing alternative to the stressful and often superficial world of modern dating. By prioritizing authenticity, self-awareness, and meaningful connections, contra-dating empowers individuals to create relationships that are not only fulfilling but also aligned with their true selves. In a world where the pressure to conform can be overwhelming, contra-dating invites us to take a chance, remove the pressure, and redefine what it means to connect with another person.
The post Not Your Type? Or Exactly What You Didn’t Know You Wanted? appeared first on Monica Berg.
August 8, 2024
When Hard Work Doesn’t Work
My friend Nicole’s husband, Alex, was the epitome of hard work—not just hard work, but personal and physical optimization. An avid mountain climber for 20 years, Alex had attended college, gained an MBA, climbed Kilimanjaro, scaled Everest, and started a Leadership Coaching business that blended all of them. Very successful, in a loving marriage with two kids, the picture of physical health, it made sense that Alex equated his achievements with his undeniable determination and will.
Until two years ago when he faced a severe health crisis.
Once an impervious outdoorsman, his days now were filled doctor’s appointment, a limited diet, a complex medication schedule, and physical energy enough to walk around his house for awhile before needing to lay back down. His dedication to heal was no different than his dedication to anything else, he just had to work hard and undoubtedly he would prevail, right?
Unfortunately, no. Despite his unwavering efforts, Alex’s health continued to decline. The more he pushed, the more depleted he felt. It was a heartbreaking realization that his herculean ability to effort wasn’t going to work this time. Hard work, as Alex discovered, does not solve everything.
His experience can make one question the very pervasive belief that hard work is some kind of cure-all, ultimate solution.
We’ve been conditioned to believe that with enough grit and determination, we can conquer anything. It’s a powerful narrative, written to every heroic tale, one that has propelled countless individuals to extraordinary heights. But what happens when this belief clashes with the stark reality of life’s complexities?
Yes, hard work is a cornerstone of success. It’s the fuel that drives us towards our goals, the discipline that shapes our character but there’s a crucial caveat: hard work is not a blanket solution. Some challenges simply transcend effort. A strained relationship with a family member, a chronic illness, or a loved one’s mental health crisis are not problems that can be bulldozed with sheer willpower. In fact, this is what makes this approach not only ineffective, but potentially harmful.
This kind of efforting, known a bulldozing, is ultimately a desire to control things that are, by definition, out of our control. Asserting our will over anything—a person, a place, a circumstance—comes from the ego-based perspective that we are doing life totally alone. That it’s all up to us. This belief is understandable, it’s comforting to think that in the face of a challenge all we have to do is try hard and it will be solved. How painful it is then, when our hard work falls short.
The answer to these moments is found through embracing the opposite of hard work: learning to let go.
The first thing we need to do is surrender. And surrender doesn’t mean to give up. It means to give in. When we surrender, we invite the Creator in, we make room for the Light. Surrender doesn’t mean giving up, in fact, it’s quite the opposite. Surrendering is very active. It requires shifting our perspective, taking different actions, and placing our trust in the greater process of life.
If you find yourself in a situation that you’ve been bulldozing, I invite you to pause and try applying some these tools:
Seek Support: Connection and community are absolute vital when we’re facing a challenge. Whether it’s a therapist, a support group, or a trusted friend, sharing your burdens can provide new perspectives and emotional relief.
Be Flexible: Acknowledging that we can’t control everything is a vital step towards healing. It’s about finding peace with what is, rather than fighting against it. Spend some time getting clear on what you can control and let go of everything else.
A LOT of Self-Compassion: Hard work is commendable, but it’s just as important to be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to feel the emotions that arise, without judgment, and make space for rest, stillness, and joy.
Thinking we have control over anything is the biggest illusion and one that causes great unhappiness. We all have a human need for security, and that need is what drives us to attempt to control our surroundings, our relationships, and even other people in our lives. Yet, we don’t have control over it all. That can be a scary thought, but I encourage you to reframe it. If control is impossible, what would happen if we just embraced the unknown, certain enough in ourselves and the Creator to know that we can handle it?
Remember, strength isn’t always measured by how hard you push, but by how gracefully you navigate challenges. It’s about understanding when to dig deep and when to let go, and finding the courage to choose the path that leads to healing and growth.
The post When Hard Work Doesn’t Work appeared first on Monica Berg.
July 31, 2024
The Empowered Relationship Podcast
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July 30, 2024
New Moon of Leo: Activate Your Lion Heart
One of the most important people in my life was a Leo. My mentor, fierce champion, trusted confidante, brilliant Torah and Zohar scholar, and sage, Rav Berg, was also my father-in-law. The Rav was born in this month, which is ruled by the energy of leadership, compassion, and loyalty. A great leader makes you feel that you, too, could be great. The Rav did this for me and countless others. He lived these values among so many more. One of his central teachings was to treat everyone with human dignity and respect. These lessons became a guiding principle for me.
Respect and dignity are the minimum that we can offer to everyone in our lives, and I think we can all agree that they are something the world needs, especially now.
Each new month brings with it a new energy to help guide us toward transformation. When we welcome a new month, we welcome a new experience and intention; we also welcome unique gifts and challenges. The symbol of this month is a lion—proud, straightforward, and determined—and those born under this sign also possess these traits. They don’t skirt around issues or hide their feelings. Their loyalty is unwavering. They defend the beliefs, values, and people they believe in. A Leo is someone you want to take with you into the trenches.
These attributes are available to all of us this month, no matter what sign we were born under; they bring us a lion’s share of opportunity for growth. Yet, we know that growth is not possible without challenge and discomfort. The opposition during the month of Leo comes in the form of our Achilles Heel: ego.
This is a good month to ask ourselves:
What holds us back from treating those around us with respect, dignity, and compassion?
What reinforces the idea that we are separate from each other?
What baits us into thinking the worst of others?
What is it that inspires blame, judgment, and withholding within us?
The answer, in short, is ego.
Ego is not connected to our true essence but rather is an aspect of our human nature, validating us in a wide array of negative thoughts and actions—for example, validating that it’s okay to treat another without respect and human dignity. Our egos are built on what we think, know, and need. If we look back at any tragic event in history, we will find somewhere within it a root of ego. Someone hungry for power. Someone afraid of loss and/or motivated by greed, fear, and hatred. While we think of these things as giant monsters that are far removed from our daily lives, they are not. They begin with us, and we each have the capacity to wreak similar havoc. It is part of who we are, but once we know the beast we’re dealing with, we can find ways to tame it.
The ego desires to receive for the self alone. When our expectations are not met, we tend to get angry or defensive. We blame, judge, and punish. When we are full of this anger and resentment, it becomes considerably more difficult for us to behave with kindness toward anyone—even ourselves. Our angry thoughts become reactive words that we speak and often manifest into negative actions. Before we know it, we’ve created darkness.
However, it takes just one action of positivity to turn the tide.
According to Kabbalah, our choices are either guided by our light (God-like nature) or our ego. Every moment, we are either choosing ego (desire to receive for the self alone) or we are choosing to give (desire to receive in order to share.)
This month, imagine you have the heart of a lion. It is strong, proud, and full of fierce love for everyone. As you move through the day, ask how this heart would respond to each moment.
How would you treat the unhoused person asking for change?
How would you spend your time and energy?
How would you respond to someone who disagrees with you?
Will you choose ego?
Or will you choose to be the best version of yourself?
To clarify, this is not an invitation to perfection. We’re all human, and there will be days that we find ourselves in judgment, blame, or reactivity. The point of this exercise is to catch ourselves in the moment and to replace those negative thoughts and actions of ego with positive actions of sharing. This month, notice the desires of your ego—and then choose the opposite.
By doing so, you’ll be activating your lion heart and opening it up to the world.
The post New Moon of Leo: Activate Your Lion Heart appeared first on Monica Berg.
July 25, 2024
Are You in a Sunk Cost Relationship?
I was sitting in my favorite cafe recently, listening to a close friend as she poured out her heart. She and her husband had just celebrated their 21st wedding anniversary, and what should have been a celebratory conversation was anything but. She shared about how beautiful the early years of their marriage were but that her experience had been more painful than joyous for longer than she’d like to admit. Her voice trembled as she recounted the countless hours she had invested, the sacrifices she had made, and the memories they had shared—many good, but in the past years most painful or mediocre. There was a lot more to it, of course, but to me, it was clear that it was time to move on. When I asked her what leaving would look like, she hesitated. “I’ve just put so much into this,” she said, “I can’t just walk away now. I have so much fear.”
Her situation is a classic example of a sunk cost relationship. It’s a term borrowed from economics, where a “sunk cost” refers to an expense that has already been incurred and cannot be recovered. In relationships, this concept translates into continuing a partnership not because it brings joy, fulfillment, or even basic support—but because of the significant time, effort, and emotional investment already made.
In economics, rational decision-making involves ignoring sunk costs when considering future actions. However, human emotions and psychology are not economics. This area of life is complex, deeply nuanced, and far from a list of assets and losses on a balance sheet. We tend to fall into the sunk cost fallacy, believing that we need to stick with something because of the past investments, even when it’s clear that leaving would be the better option.
How do you know that you’ve fallen into a sunk cost fallacy when it comes to your partnership? There are a few different signs:
Overvaluing the PastLike my friend, many people stay in relationships because they overvalue the time, energy, and resources they’ve already invested. The idea of “wasting” these investments by leaving feels unbearable.
Fear of RegretThe fear of regret is a powerful motivator. People worry that if they leave, they might regret their decision, fearing they haven’t tried hard enough or might miss out on potential future happiness.
Peer PressuresExternal pressures from friends, family, or society can reinforce the haze of sunk cost fallacy. Expectations to maintain relationships, especially long-term ones, can make the decision to leave even harder. What will our family think? What will happen to our children? Will I lose my community? All are examples of this kind of unhelpful pressure.
Emotional AttachmentDeep emotional bonds make it difficult to let go. Even if the relationship is currently unhealthy, the memories of better times and the emotional attachment formed over the years can keep people tethered.
Acknowledging that you’re in a sunk cost relationship is the first step toward making a change. Relationships do take effort however that effort should be shared. If time and time again, you are the only one putting in the work to keep the relationship afloat, you may want to consider whether this relationship can really fulfill you for the next 10, 20, or 30 years.
Understanding that there is way forward is the next step. I’ll say here what I have said many times and what I shared with my friend: make your relationship work or leave the relationship. Life is too short to be unhappy, or to be in that place of “it’s ok, but it’s not great.” Life is going to be hard—your relationship should not be. It’s what’s meant to help you get through the hard times. A source of sustenance that brings you up, not down. Believing that this kind of relationship exists for you is vital to moving on. Here are a few questions based on the above criteria to help you get started:
Looking to the Future > Overvaluing the PastLooking to the future allows us to embrace new opportunities and possibilities for growth, rather than being weighed down by past investments that no longer serve our well-being. By focusing on what lies ahead, we can make decisions that align with our current values and goals, leading to a more fulfilling and purposeful life. What kind of relationship do you want and what can you do today to get there?
Trusting the Process > Fear of RegretTrusting the process of life allows us to embrace growth, to welcome our soul’s transformation, and to see unexpected opportunities. This mindset is more empowering than being paralyzed by the fear of regret, which can hinder progress and keep us anchored in the past—and in unhealthy relationships. If I could wave a magic wand and guarantee you’d have no regrets, what choices would you make today?
Following Your Heart > Peer PressuresWhen we listen to our intuition and follow our heart, we say yes to our authentic self, allowing us to live a life that aligns with our true values and passions. Succumbing to peer pressure or any idea of what other people want leads us in the opposite direction. Choosing ourselves and our happiness is the only way to live our most fulfilled life. If you remove the influence of other people in your life and fears about they may think, what clarity arises?
Letting Go > Emotional AttachmentLetting go of emotional attachment to the wrong person allows you to free yourself from unnecessary pain and opens up the possibility for healthier and more fulfilling relationships. The act of releasing an expired bond, while painful in the moment, is also a release of something that is draining your energy and keeping you stuck. Time travel five years in the future and see yourself in a loving, supportive relationship—are you willing to feel the discomfort and pain required to get there?
Many of us can relate to feeling stuck in a situation, whether in romantic relationships, friendships, or even professional scenarios. The realization is a difficult one and the path forward can be equally uncomfortable—but discomfort is a sign that we’re growing. Recognizing a sunk cost relationship and choosing to move on isn’t about giving up, it’s quite the opposite. it’s about saying yes to yourself and your future over past investments. Sunk cost relationships may be more complex than sunk cost investments but the solution to both is simple and the same. Let go of what is no longer working so that you can create something that does. It might even be better than anything you could imagine.
Sunk costs in relationships refer to the expenditures and investments of our energy and the thing about energy is that it is never wasted. While the energy spent may not manifest the way you intended it to, it will be used in some other way. In this case, teaching you more about yourself and how you can better show up in future relationships, both for yourself and your partner. That sounds like a beautiful return on an investment to me.
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