Clayton Lessor's Blog, page 10
May 30, 2017
Is My Son Smoking Pot or Drinking? What to Do Next
Are you afraid your son is smoking pot, drinking or worse?
My Son Would Never Do That
I hope you’re not deceiving yourself; drugs and alcohol are readily available EVERYWHERE! He can escape his feelings by “numbing out” and find refuge by drinking or smoking pot. And worse let’s not forget the huge opioid epidemic that’s sweeping the country.
I have met hundreds of moms and dads who didn’t know their son was smoking pot, drinking or worse.
Here is what I know-“If you think or have felt like he’s in trouble, he’s in trouble!”
5 Questions to Ask Yourself
Is my son experimenting with E-cigarettes(vaping) or cigarettes?
Why is my son hanging out at an unsupervised friend’s house for hours?
Why does he get enraged when I walk in his room? (by the way, it’s your house, I promote respecting his space – but if you suspect something is wrong, you owe it to yourself and your son to follow your instincts.) Moms have the best instincts!
Is this really my son-what is going on?
Why can’t I shake this feeling that something is wrong?
Could Your Son be Smoking Pot? Don’t Bury Your Head in The Sand
Get him drug tested if you suspect your son smoking pot or doing other drugs; if you smell alcohol on him or find evidence of alcohol get him in a treatment program or to a counselor ASAP! Work together with your son to find the right program.
You can’t compete with smoking pot, other drugs or alcohol. As a counselor, I can’t either. If I am made aware of drug or alcohol usage my first step is to get them in treatment. It’s only after that we can begin to work on the addiction and underlying issues.
Don’t wait and don’t fantasize that it may go away or that you can help. It will be painful for your family, I assure you that if you want him to heal he needs to feel the pain of bad choices for some time.
PARENTS: Don’t forget about yourself! I recommend you get counseling or coaching through the process. You will need support too! In my experience, this will provide the highest rate of success in this situation.
Accountability
The fact of the matter and hard truth is this. He needs to be held accountable for his bad choices, especially with drugs and alcohol. Let me say it this way. This is a time you teach him the difference between need versus want. In order for him to learn accountability, he needs to get treatment; he will want to negotiate this and convince you he doesn’t! It’s a critical time, if he’s not held accountable it will affect him the rest of his life.
You’ve heard about tough love, well this is the time for you to practice tough love. Saving him from his feelings will only prolong his opportunity to heal. I know that if you’re a Mom the desire to save him will be strong, almost overwhelming.
You are saving him by getting him in a treatment program where he’ll learn and get education on what bad things happen with drug use. After that, get him back to counseling for follow up. Know that if you’ll follow this process you’re doing what’s best.
Are you concerned your son is experimenting with smoking pot, drugs or alcohol? Share your thoughts in the comments or on my Facebook page and I’ll try to help you.
Author information
Clayton LessorClayton Lessor is a Licensed Professional Counselor and a PhD candidate in private practice. He is author of “Saving Our Sons: A Parent's Guide to Preparing Boys for Success." Clay has seen over 2000 boys since 2000 and facilitated over 300 Quest Project groups. Boys attend a 10-week "boys to men program" where they and their parents will learn the tools needed to get through these turbulent teen years.
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May 23, 2017
Advancing The Work!
The Quest Project
I am excited! I am in the final phase of my Ph.D. work!
What I’ve Been Up To
One very important component of my dissertation was to gather data to support my topic Difference of a Counselor Facilitated Adolescent Boys’ Group on Behavior. I had the privilege of facilitating The Quest Project® to a great group of boys at Woodridge Middle School over the past 10 weeks. A special thanks to the staff there that supported and embraced the work.
Recent Press Release
Just in case you didn’t see it, here’s a copy of the press release about my work at Woodridge.
Local Therapist Helping Middle School Boys At Risk in Jefferson County
Clayton Lessor, Ph.D., Guiding Students at Woodridge Middle School
“Why are you being so nice to us?” This unassuming question was asked by a 7th grader to local therapist and author, Clayton Lessor Ph.D. The genesis of this conversation was a call Lessor received from Woodridge Middle School in the Northwest R1 district, asking for help. According to Stephen Bourke, the sole guidance counselor at the school with a student body of 625, “public schools in Missouri are in desperate need of more resources. It is amazing to have an expert like Dr. Lessor helping to make sure that kids are not falling through the cracks.”
Some of the issues that affect children in the school include families dealing with drug addiction, foster care, suicide, and physical abuse among other difficult issues. Lessor specializes in guiding adolescent boys ‘from boys to men’ and ushering them through a validating ‘rite of passage’.
Lessor is now holding weekly sessions with adolescent boys at the school. The group meetings, held in a school office, are a ‘safe place’ where the boys can release anger, talk about emotions and home situations with a highly experienced licensed counselor. Lessor’s own childhood included an alcoholic, physically abusive father, a mother who didn’t intervene and eventually set the family home on fire. The ten-week program includes two groups of ten boys each from the sixth, seventh and eighth grades respectively. Though apprehensive at first, after just one session with Lessor, Bourke says the boys were laughing, talking about how much fun it was and how they couldn’t wait for the next session.
“These boys are learning to be productive young men and how important mental health is for the rest of their lives,” says Bourke.
Lessor’s mission is to provide immediate help and hope to families struggling with adolescent boys’ behaviors, including violence, anger, rage, failing grades, truancy, disassociation with the family and other conducts of concern.
Next Steps
I hope you’ll stay connected as I enter the “home stretch” of my “Journey of a Thousand Miles.” I’m glad that you have taken this journey with me, stayed connected and supported me in my mission “to create healthy lifestyles by teaching, facilitating, writing and example.”
More to come!
Author information
Clayton LessorClayton Lessor is a Licensed Professional Counselor and a PhD candidate in private practice. He is author of “Saving Our Sons: A Parent's Guide to Preparing Boys for Success." Clay has seen over 2000 boys since 2000 and facilitated over 300 Quest Project groups. Boys attend a 10-week "boys to men program" where they and their parents will learn the tools needed to get through these turbulent teen years.
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May 16, 2017
Spreading the News on North Dakota Today!
It was a chilly morning in Bismarck North Dakota but what a warm welcome from Kevin and Monica at KFYR.
Interviews!
I was honored to be invited to talk about “Saving Our Sons” A Parent’s Guide to Preparing Boys for Success and The Quest Project® recently on North Dakota Today! Admittedly it’s scary to do “live” interviews but my goal is to get better each time.
I hope you enjoyed the interview as much as I did! Stay tuned as there are more on the horizon!
Thank you for supporting my mission: “to create healthy lifestyles by teaching, facilitating, writing and example.”
Author information
Clayton LessorClayton Lessor is a Licensed Professional Counselor and a PhD candidate in private practice. He is author of “Saving Our Sons: A Parent's Guide to Preparing Boys for Success." Clay has seen over 2000 boys since 2000 and facilitated over 300 Quest Project groups. Boys attend a 10-week "boys to men program" where they and their parents will learn the tools needed to get through these turbulent teen years.
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May 9, 2017
Parenting Tips: For Graduation & Beyond
Graduation is a major milestone for your son. Celebrate his accomplishment!
Congratulations-He Made It!
This is a very exciting time! I congratulate you if you are honoring a graduate in your home. It’s a time to honor the achievement and begin to plan the next steps if you haven’t already done so. If your son plans to attend college you have most likely been working towards this day for a while. If he isn’t a candidate for college have you talked about his options?
Graduation: Establishing the “Exit Plan”
An exit plan involves both parents. If dad is present he should be hands-on with his son; planning and discussing this next phase of his life.
I recommend at the start of his junior year in high school begin to “nudge” him toward planning for his future. Establishing an exit plan will help with transitioning after graduation; it opens the door to conversation about goals, purpose, direction and independence. It prevents what’s ahead from being/becoming a shock!
After graduation is he off to college? Great, he’ll get prepared for a career and also the experience of being independent (like doing his own laundry!).
Tip: The best advice for parents during this transition is to let your son go, let him discover who it is, and what it is he wants to be.
After graduation will he be attending college while staying at home? I would recommend you treat him very similar to the above.
Tip: Staying home doesn’t mean you need to “do more” – remember it’s time for him to grow up. It’s time to be a man.
After graduation is he unsure what he wants to do after high school and communicated he wants to wait before committing to college? A word of caution is this, don’t allow your son to do nothing.
Tip: He can’t lay around the house playing video games and watching T.V. This behavior is and will quickly lead to habit; before you know it he’ll be contributing to the epidemic of “26-year-olds living at home gaming.”
Thinking back to my graduation, I initially wanted “a break.” I was tired of school and tired of the structure. My dad quickly let me know that I shouldn’t expect to “lay around the house” and that I’d need to get a job asap! In my case, as many of you already know I joined the U.S. Air Force and continued my education while serving my country.
As parents, we have shifted our thinking to believing we must continue to parent our children forever, even after graduation.
Teaching and encouraging independence should start at birth!
Is Education Optional?
As the dropout rates have hit a crisis level, maybe you’re struggling with an adolescent boy that didn’t finish high school. If so, he needs a healthy male role model and mentor. It’s critical for his future that he get back in school and complete his education. If necessary seek counseling and guidance for your son. Education is not optional.
Are you celebrating your son’s graduation this year? Or are you wondering how to “get him out of the basement?”
Author information
Clayton LessorClayton Lessor is a Licensed Professional Counselor and a PhD candidate in private practice. He is author of “Saving Our Sons: A Parent's Guide to Preparing Boys for Success." Clay has seen over 2000 boys since 2000 and facilitated over 300 Quest Project groups. Boys attend a 10-week "boys to men program" where they and their parents will learn the tools needed to get through these turbulent teen years.
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May 2, 2017
Raising Sons: Could He Have PTSD?
Raising Sons & PTSD
Did you know that PTSD is not exclusive to our military servicemen? We hear about “post- traumatic stress disorder” (PTSD) most often as a result of some of the horrific sights our young men witnessed while serving in the military.
What Is PTSD
Many times, a parent misses the signs of PTSD in their child. PTSD is NOT exclusive to our servicemen. It can plague your child and needs to be addressed ASAP!
The Mayo Clinic defines it like this:
“Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a mental health condition that’s triggered by a terrifying event-either experiencing it or witnessing it. Symptoms may include flashbacks, nightmares and severe anxiety, as well as uncontrollable thoughts about the event.”
The Most Common Causes
Why does this happen and how can a child have PTSD? I’m asked this question often. Witnessing a traumatic event, they consider to be scary, hurtful, harmful or dangerous. Below I list some of the most common:
Abuse-verbal, physical or sexual
Seeing a traumatic sight-a dead or hurt pet, a car accident or someone or something injured
Watching unsupervised T.V.-there are numerous shows and video games that show violence
Being bullied
Parents arguing or fighting
Hearing about a traumatic event that happened to a family member or loved one
What to Look For
If your son is displaying:
irritable or aggressive behavior
having problems with concentration (intrusive thoughts)
a change in sleep habits
hopelessness
lack of interest in activities once enjoyed
It’s time to get him to a Licensed Professional Counselor for an assessment. PTSD doesn’t go away on its own, it festers and shows itself many times in unhealthy ways. Keep in mind when I say it will “show itself,” that could be now or later in his life! I recommend getting to the issue now. The percentages of curing are higher; the potential to heal and lead a healthy life is greater.
Knowledge Is Power
If you’ve read my book “Saving Our Sons”- A Parent’s Guide to Preparing Boys for Success you remember Ethan. His case study is eye opening to the detrimental effects PTSD can have on an adolescent boy.
Arm yourself with knowledge and information on this subject so that your son doesn’t go through what I did, or what Ethan did as a child. It took years of my adult life to work through the PTSD related issues caused from living with an abusive alcoholic father. I wish someone would have intervened and helped me when I was a boy.
Are you concerned your son may be dealing with post-traumatic stress? Do you have unanswered questions?
Author information
Clayton LessorClayton Lessor is a Licensed Professional Counselor and a PhD candidate in private practice. He is author of “Saving Our Sons: A Parent's Guide to Preparing Boys for Success." Clay has seen over 2000 boys since 2000 and facilitated over 300 Quest Project groups. Boys attend a 10-week "boys to men program" where they and their parents will learn the tools needed to get through these turbulent teen years.
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April 25, 2017
Parenting Boys: The Importance of Activity
Parenting Boys and the Importance of Sports Activity
You’ve heard it said many times “boys are physical and visual!” That statement is not only true, it’s proven. This inspired me to write about parenting boys and sports activity. Sports enables adolescent boys to get mentoring from a coach and a “release” of stored/pent-up energy with their peers.
Keep Your Son Active Through Sports Activity
Boys are inherently different than girls, they are mostly active, curious and competitive. One of the best ways to get your young son engaged is by nudging (encouraging) him to do something active. In my experience with over 2000 boys, most agree sports can provide the physical and visual need that exists. As a bonus a sense of accomplishment and fun!
If you’re a single parent mom raising boys I strongly suggest getting them involved in sports! They’ll learn to be on a team (camaraderie) and more likely than not, they’ll get some mentoring from their coaches.
My Experience
As a boy, my dad was absent so mom did the best she could basically trying to survive and get through the day and the week. I learned very early on if I wanted to have fun and be with other kids I would need to play baseball, hockey, football, karate or some other team sport. My case was extreme and I wanted to stay away from the madness that was “my home.”
Generally, that’s not the case and your son will learn some very important lessons being on a team, all the while getting plenty of exercise and activity!
The Research-The Bonus!
Research supports a direct positive effect on behavior as a result of extracurricular activity. Corine Driessens, Ph.D. research article: Extracurricular activity participation moderates impact of family and school factors on adolescents’ disruptive behavioural problems published in the BMC Public Health Journal is worth the read.
Additionally, he will learn:
teamwork
camaraderie
fun
how to “try harder”
and to not QUIT!
Be Engaged!
A tip: GO AND WATCH HIS GAMES.
Remember to tell your son how proud you are of him and how great he’s doing. Know that he appreciates the acknowledgment even if he doesn’t acknowledge he does (yep-strange but true!)!
I still remember every game my mom attended, and I remember every game she didn’t attend. Get to his games and cheer him on, show your support. I stopped looking for or expecting to see my mom in the stands. It’s a sad feeling I wouldn’t wish on any young boy.
If sports aren’t his thing, maybe it’s band or choir, that’s great too. The message here is to get him involved in an activity he can be proud of (this excludes T.V.!).
Video games are fun for boys and they do feel a sense of accomplishment and competition. However, video games are not the same as being in the presence of other boys, with a mentor or a coach.
In The Quest Project®, we do a goal setting exercise, 70% of the boys have a goal of being a professional athlete! It’s their goal, what they want to be when they grow up and that’s healthy; I encourage them to make it a reality.
Does your son play sports? Do you find it has a positive impact?
Author information
Clayton LessorClayton Lessor is a Licensed Professional Counselor and a PhD candidate in private practice. He is author of “Saving Our Sons: A Parent's Guide to Preparing Boys for Success." Clay has seen over 2000 boys since 2000 and facilitated over 300 Quest Project groups. Boys attend a 10-week "boys to men program" where they and their parents will learn the tools needed to get through these turbulent teen years.
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April 18, 2017
Parenting Boys? 7 Key Questions I’m Frequently Asked
Parenting Boys
When I’m asked to do an interview, and discuss parenting boys and the “state of boyhood,” here are the questions that I feel must be addressed in order to see change!
“Our Boys Are in Trouble”
They need our help, and The Quest Project®, 10-week boys to men program, along with the book “Saving Ours Sons” is about getting them the help they need.
What are the key takeaways parents will get from your book “Saving Our Sons- A Parent’s Guide to Preparing Boys for Success?”
A way to reach parents or guardians everywhere on what they can do for their sons to grow up to be healthy men. An action plan for immediate help and hope. An overview of The Quest Project along with support that they’re not alone. Case studies that detail what parents and especially moms can do to save their son.
Why are our young men falling far behind young women in school and life?
Boys need a mother and father, but all too often, the dad is missing from the home, whether it’s physically or emotionally, so often boys will bond together and act out in unhealthy ways. Fatherless boys are twice as likely to receive D’s and F’s and drop out of school, and if we take that a step further; more than 75% of all crime in America is committed by men who were fatherless as children.
This must change…the time is now…and I’m the one to talk about it – it’s my life’s work.
Parenting Boys: What is the wound that all adolescent boys share?
It’s a systemic problem with not meeting the needs of boys in general! Boys used to grow up working alongside their fathers on the farm and shop. They learned how to be men from other men and now they only learn from each other because the father has been absent.
What is the Quest Project®?
The Quest Project® is a 10-week “Modern Day Rite of Passage” to help adolescent boys 11-19 years of age. Quest provides the researched teachings and processes of what’s missing. Boys need a healthy male father figure to teach them throughout their teenage years but for whatever reason, he is physically or emotionally absent.
The Quest Project® includes: Healthy Male example/facilitator, safe container, goal setting, tools for reaching goals, wound identification and healing, anger management, conflict resolution, gift identification, and a life mission.
Parenting Boys: What is missing and what do boys need?
In general, they need a healthy modern day rite of passage which includes:
A Mentor – safe, healthy male example
A Safe place to deal with their pain and anger – non-shaming
Support of a community or neighborhood – to see doing good and bless
Sense of Achievement, importance, and change – challenge and adventure
Ritual to Mark Transformation – validation
These are the proven processes a Mature, Responsible and Available Father brings to his sons’ life!
Your childhood was difficult, how?
As a boy my dad was alcoholic, absent, abusive and violent in the home. I found ways to get through this and once I turned my life around, I realized I wanted to help other boys. I got the education, did the research, and created The Quest Project® helping over two thousand boys since 2000.
Parenting Boys: Are you doing the Quest Project® around the country?
Yes, I have an intensive weekend version please go to the website to get much more information.
Let me know if this was helpful to understand the full scope of my mission:
“To create healthy lifestyles by teaching, facilitating, writing and example.”
Author information
Clayton LessorClayton Lessor is a Licensed Professional Counselor and a PhD candidate in private practice. He is author of “Saving Our Sons: A Parent's Guide to Preparing Boys for Success." Clay has seen over 2000 boys since 2000 and facilitated over 300 Quest Project groups. Boys attend a 10-week "boys to men program" where they and their parents will learn the tools needed to get through these turbulent teen years.
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April 11, 2017
Goodreads Giveaway – Win a Copy of Saving Our Sons
Win an Autographed Copy of Saving Our Sons
Who doesn’t love FREE!
It’s been a few months since we launched Saving Our Sons! We’re still celebrating by giving away three autographed copies of the book on Goodreads!
If you’re not familiar with it, Goodreads, with more than 55,000,000 members, is the world’s largest site for readers and book recommendations. Goodreads has 1.5 Billion books added and 50 Million reviews.
A Few Things You Can Do On Goodreads
See which books your friends are reading.
Track the books you’re reading, have read, and want to read.
Check out your personalized book recommendations. Our recommendation engine analyzes 20 billion data points to give suggestions tailored to your literary tastes.
Find out if a book is a good fit for you from our community’s reviews.
For your chance to win a free signed copy of Saving Our Sons, all you have to do is visit me on Goodreads between April 11-21 to enter!
HELP YOUR SON GROW INTO THE MAN HE’S MEANT TO BEThere’s never been a more challenging time to be the mother of a teenage boy. Our young men are currently in crisis, falling far behind their female counterparts in school and in life and failing to learn the lessons they need to survive and thrive in the adult world. With Saving Our Sons, I’m out to reverse this trend.
What Parents Are Saying:
Clayton Lessor and his thoughtful, results-oriented approach was instrumental in the development of a loving, healthy relationship with my adopted son. Saving Our Sons condenses years of his experience into a read-able book with direct actions to move your son’s life forward for the long term. ~Lynne Flowers
Thank you very much for supporting my mission, and for supporting me in this very important work.
Want to check out Saving Our Sons? Get the first chapter here.
Author information
Clayton LessorClayton Lessor is a Licensed Professional Counselor and a PhD candidate in private practice. He is author of “Saving Our Sons: A Parent's Guide to Preparing Boys for Success." Clay has seen over 2000 boys since 2000 and facilitated over 300 Quest Project groups. Boys attend a 10-week "boys to men program" where they and their parents will learn the tools needed to get through these turbulent teen years.
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April 4, 2017
Raising Sons? Signs He’s Becoming A Man
From a Boy To a Man
How will you know when your adolescent son begins to transition into a man? It won’t happen overnight, and there will be times when you wish it would!
Signs of Change: Your Son’s Becoming a Man
At approximately 11-13 yrs. of age “on average” a boy produces a greater amount of testosterone. The production of this hormone will become evident by him having more aggressive behavior. He’ll want to rid himself of this conflictual feeling most commonly by punching something.
The first testosterone rush will intensify his angst, it takes time to manage these feelings. I recommend parents of young adolescent boys buy a punching bag and present it to him with this explanation. It’s a great release when he needs to vent (show him how to use it appropriately), or sign him up for Karate!
During this time, he’ll begin to think about the man he will become, what he cares about and what he stands for – usually in silence.
He needs a sense of mission, competition, group involvement as well. I know I say this often, because it’s important!
“A Man Among Men”
Becoming a man means growing, being responsible, learning and understanding – not sitting on the couch playing video games.
Teach him alternate things to do like:
how to fish
how to cook
how to plant and care for a garden
change a tire on the car
Believe it or not, he needs responsibility! He may resist and want to go back to the couch where it’s comfortable. Set up some natural consequences ahead of time. For example: “Son when you’re finished with homework/chores you can play your video game.” That gives him choices and choices allow him to feel a sense of power. Keep this in mind, if he feels he is making the choice you are more likely to get his buy in!
He needs to feel accomplishment; again think about why video games are addictive to boys, they get to higher levels which make them feel powerful. He needs to do his own thing which gives him a sense of growing and looking more mature (the get). He needs you to see him do well and wants you to not notice the mistakes. This is active responsible parenting.
Mom-Leave Me Alone!
Unfortunately Mom, part of this transition is letting go, pushing you away – his way! He doesn’t understand these feelings (it’s innate and irrational). It becomes a push/pull time in your relationship. He wants you but not all the time. He wants you to be somewhere close, but not noticeable to him or his friends. My expert opinion from years of experience and research is “let him go through it and stop trying to get ahead of his mistakes, and more importantly ahead of his feelings.”
Need help with difficult conversations?
Get my free Conflict Resolution Tool Download Here
This process can be character building and empowering. Are you confused by your son’s needs and wants? Share your thoughts in the comments or on my Facebook page, I’ll give you my opinion.
Author information
Clayton LessorClayton Lessor is a Licensed Professional Counselor and a PhD candidate in private practice. He is author of “Saving Our Sons: A Parent's Guide to Preparing Boys for Success." Clay has seen over 2000 boys since 2000 and facilitated over 300 Quest Project groups. Boys attend a 10-week "boys to men program" where they and their parents will learn the tools needed to get through these turbulent teen years.
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March 28, 2017
Parenting Tip: Dad This One’s for You
I’ve devoted this blog to the fathers out there who are committed to being the best DAD they can be.
Typically, when I refer to dad in my blogs, I emphasize and stress the importance of a “responsible, healthy and safe dad,” or in the absence of dad a “responsible, healthy and safe mentor” like grandpa, uncle or coach. More and more fathers are asking “how to” be a good dad? “What do I mean” when I tell them their son needs them?
It’s time to explain this! In their words, they’re “doing it like their dad did-or-just the opposite of their dad.” I thought I’d put this in a way that will really make sense to all you dads who are doing the best you can with what you know.
Take a Trip with Me
Let’s take a journey back in time, way back before the Industrial Revolution. Dads were responsible to show (model) their sons what it takes to be a man. They worked the fields and shoed the horses side by side, they molded their young sons into men. They taught them the rites of passage of becoming a man.
Then the Industrial Revolution happens and dads were forced to leave the farms and close their shops. They would have to go to work in mills, factories, and offices to survive and support the family. They worked long hours and got home in time to have dinner, shower and do it all over the next day.
Change Happens
Everything changed. That change has continued generation after generation. Each time the next generation of dads got further away from those early teachings and mentoring and most importantly “rites of passage” that not only they needed, but their sons do too!
Fast forward to today. Men are working long hours; research tells us on average they spend about 10 minutes a week with the kids. Divorce is almost common place. And who is suffering? Our boys. In fact, our boys are in trouble and if not rectified, the results will be devastating.
In speaking with a counselor at a local middle school this week she made this comment. “I had an 8th grader tell me recently that he didn’t know how he was supposed to become a man when he doesn’t have men in his life!” Sadly, that really says it all.
So, what’s the magic bullet? It’s very simple, and even more important than that it’s easy. There aren’t “5 easy steps” or “10 secret tips” there is only ONE and here it is:
Dad starting at age 11 (that’s the age he innately turns to you to see the man he is likely to be like) schedule 3-5 hours “one-on-one time” a week with your son; keep this schedule until at least age 16! Even If you don’t feel like it and/or he doesn’t want to-DO IT ANYWAY!
I don’t need to repeat how I think the time should be spent, just do it! The bottom line is you could literally be doing nothing and he’ll get something he needs from you. Think back to when you were a kid, chances are your sweetest memories are the ones that you and your dad (grandpa, uncle or stepdad) were just being guys together.
Need a resource? Check out my book “Saving Our Sons-A Parent’s Guide to Preparing Boys for Success” available on Amazon and The Quest Project®.
Coming soon I’m devoting an entire book to dad and how to help them with their son so stay tuned!
Author information
Clayton LessorClayton Lessor is a Licensed Professional Counselor and a PhD candidate in private practice. He is author of “Saving Our Sons: A Parent's Guide to Preparing Boys for Success." Clay has seen over 2000 boys since 2000 and facilitated over 300 Quest Project groups. Boys attend a 10-week "boys to men program" where they and their parents will learn the tools needed to get through these turbulent teen years.
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