Evil Editor's Blog, page 463

Queryish Query 5

Dear EE:

What kind of interior decorator murders her new client, snuffing her out the way Othello snuffed Desdemona, only with a much more stylish tasseled throw-pillow, placed just so over the face, and without the poetry or the suicide afterwards? If a client hated your designs and kept going on and on about the “bad vibes” in the room, what would you do?

What else can Claire Holloway do but brick up the body in the back of the walk-in closet, then cover up those ugly bricks with a truly inn

Queryish Query 4

What can OneWoman™ do when the llamas and zombie cows start acting as strangely as Paris Hilton in an Almodovar production of Rosencranz and Guildenstern are Dead? Can OneWoman™ find out how to make the strangely behaving zombie cows act like normal zombie cows again? Or will OneWoman™ be buried under the deluge of cultists, roaming ostriches and rival biker gangs, who are wrongly suspected of being responsible for the strange-acting llamas and zombie cows, before she exposes the true culprits?

Queryish Query 3

Dear Sir (or Madam?);

What if you were forced to take a chance on a stranger, casting your fate into her hands like tossing a Chihuahua into the arms of a lion tamer in a room full of hungry panthers?

If you were a secret agent, would you shove the flash drive containing top secret information into the jacket pocket of a random poodle? But what else is super spy Nick Armstrong to do with Gus “Chicken-Face” Lombardi hot on his heels like a rabid Doberman chasing a postman coated in bacon grease an

Queryish Query 2

Shouldn’t a good novel be like a rich stew, chock-full of roughly chopped hunks of meat and potatoes? How about hot office sex, a fair helping of intrigue and a zany office assistant with a heart of gold (and a meth habit, an overactive imagination and a slight case of kleptomania)? You wouldn’t leave out the vegetables either, so why not throw in a mortician’s introductory textbook and an unattended laboratory? You definitely need a strong stock to form a backdrop for your stew – how about a st

Book Chat

This month's chat book is Dreamers of the Day, by Mary Doria Russell. As I didn't want to finish the book three or four weeks before the chat, I decided to read another of Russell's novels, The Sparrow. This is a science fiction novel in which a radio transmission from outer space inspires a Jesuit mission to make first contact. Many books have blended science fiction with religion, but this is my favorite of those I've read. The novel won Ms. Russell the James Tiptree, Jr. Award">James Tiptree,

Feedback Request

A new version of Face-Lift 616 is in the comments there, awaiting your reaction.[image error]

Saturday Film Series

Okay, I've switched to a new computer (Mac Mini). This has forced me to learn Mac, which hasn't been hard. Also to switch Word Processors, which I haven't gotten around to yet. Also, Paint isn't a Mac program, so I have to learn a new image editor, which is not going well, so there may be a delay in cartoons. Also, I need to learn a new movie maker, which also isn't going well, so my first attempt is just the throwing together of some cartoons set to music. It's actually very nice as a full-scre

New Beginning 624

Kincaid and Manuel walked into McDonald’s Boarding House in St. Louis and approached a round man with a flush face. Drammin’ probably caused the red face, Kincaid thought, and idlin’ made him fat.

“How much for room and keep for thirteen men?” Kincaid asked.

“Are the others like him?”

“What do you mean ‘like him’?”

“Greasers. I won’t have no greasers here,” he said. “Good, god-fearing men live in my establishment. I won’t have them put up with papists crossing themselves, muttering their mumbo-jumbo

Cartoon 356

Caption: Anon.

Your caption on the next cartoon! Link in sidebar.[image error]

Writing Exercise

Use a random number generator to choose a number between 1 and 618. Search this blog for the Face-Lift with that number. Choose one of the fake plots and write a query letter for a book with that plot. Your query must consist of all rhetorical questions. Also, it must include two bad analogies, one of which appears in the first rhetorical question. For instance, your first sentence might be: 
What happens when all the trees in town suddenly start toppling like when you put the open end of a box o