Evil Editor's Blog, page 333

Book Scene 3

In my hour of need, it was a book that came to my rescue. Granted the fundamental need that presented itself was not esoteric, but instead quotidian; indeed, the man (or woman) who has not had to deal with the necessity has yet to be born. How ironic then that a process of such simplicity can in an instant become a harrowing ordeal upon the realization that one is facing it unprepared. Fortunately, my torment was short-lived, for I then also realized I had the book.

Though not fully resolving ...

Book Scene 2

She: Honey, why don't you finish the book in the morning? It's late.

He: Just one more chapter, sweetie?

She: You know, reading isn't the only fun thing to do in bed. If you get my drift.

He: Uh huh. Whatever you say, dear.

She (Removes nightgown): Sure I can't persuade you to put the book down?

He (Looks at her, then back at the book): I'm almost done.

She: Jerk. What is that you're reading, anyway?

He: It's called The Auction Winner's Novel, by Jane Dough.

She: Lemme have a look at the cover . . . ...

Book Scene 1

The Birthday Dinner

A couple, very much in love, sits in a half-finished house at a makeshift sawhorse table set with elegant candles, wine, fine linens and silver-rimmed plates.

"Darling, did you forget it's my birthday again?" she says. He shoves a large piece of steak in his mouth and chews slowly before he speaks.

"What? Uh no. You've been near your gift all day."

"I have?" She giggles and looks around the half-finished renovations.

"It's the book I put under the leg of the sawhorse last night...

Saturday Film Series

Face-Lift 763

Guess the Plot

The Emperor's Edge

1. The citizens are revolting. Seriously. To regain their respect, the emperor will have to rely on something never before seen in Sphereland.

2. What good is being an emperor if you can't have your own private tailor, your own private mistress, and your own private assassin? And, you save money if they're all the same person.

3. Tony Spagnolo owns the world's third largest razor company. He sets out with a daring plan to steal a fantastic new blade design from T...

Cartoon 632

Caption: Stacy

Your caption on the next cartoon! Link in sidebar.

Face-Lift 762

Guess the Plot

Courage of Story

1. An autobiographical tale of a life spent pushing fiction to increasingly hostile, and sometimes violent publishers.

2. The truth is revealed as the cowardly lion documents what really happened after his fateful encounter with a young girl from Kansas. Also, a recipe for stew using a tin pot and straw tinder.

3. A simple girl, a king and a mage have a story to tell, but first they must find someone who has the courage to listen. Do you? What about you?

4. Eightee...

Cartoon 631

Caption: Anon.

Your caption on the next cartoon! Link in sidebar.

Writing Exercise

You may have noticed that one of EE's offerings in the Brenda Novak Auction is:

YOUR BOOK Featured in an EVIL EDITOR FILM

To save time once the auction ends, it would be nice to have the script ready. So . . . Write an amusing scene in which a book figures prominently. It can be any book, or a made-up book, but the book itself will be replaced by the winner's book, so don't make any specific statements about the plot, as they probably won't apply to the actual book. A book club meeting?...

Face-Lift 761

Guess the Plot

The Eraser

1. Has Pencil Man finally met his match in The Sharpener? Or will his new girlfriend turn out to be someone who can make all his mistakes disappear?

2. A bitter story of rejection and disappointment from inside the pencil case when little Timmy starts writing in ink.

3. Jason has his heart set on an NFL career with the Pittsburgh Steelers, but when no team drafts him it looks like he'll be selling used cars. Then a professional wrestling promoter spots him and...