Evil Editor's Blog, page 331

Writing Exercise Results . . .

are in the posts below.

The task was to write a scene in which you pitch your book to Evil Editor on a roller coaster.[image error]

Roller Coaster Pitch 5

It looked like I would have the front row seat to myself, but at the last second another solo rider showed up and they stuck me with him. What's worse, he recognized me: "Hey, you're that editor guy, right? You never struck me as the thrill-seeker type."

"I'm not," I replied as we started our long climb. "I put 'survive a roller coaster ride' on my bucket list thirty years ago."

"Finally getting around to it, eh? Don't worry, it's just like riding in a convertible doing 65 miles an hour, except...

Roller Coaster Pitch 4

Is this thing safe? Look at the daylight between me and that friggin' bar.

Oh man, you've never been on the Death Roll before, have you? I hope to hell you don't have a weak stomach.

I'm serious, dude! Centrifugal force is all well and good. It's the slam stop at the end I'm worried about.

Nah, it's only a problem if you're still conscious. You look like a guy who -- my god! You're HIM! I have dreams about you!

??

Not those kinds of dreams -- the fame and fortune kind. You and me together hitting ...

Roller Coaster Pitch 3

EE sat in the first car and slid over for his main squeeze to slip her svelte butt in beside his well-cushioned hips. He looked down the track at the steep rise in front of them.

"Wait! Stop! Let me in! Hey he's cutting!" and other complaints didn't register in his mind until a man's body landed with a loud THUD next to him.

"Who are you?" EE asked.

"But you're the great EE. My lifelong dreams come true. I've wanted to pitch my novel to you." Bells clanged and clamps pressed against their bodies...

Roller Coaster Pitch 2

"Ha", I said, "you're the Evil Editor. I've sent you five perfectly acceptable manuscripts in the last five years and you've passed on them all. I have a new tale here, red-hot".

He tried to duck out but the electronic harness pinned him to his seat. Trundling up the moderately steep incline, both our knuckles were white. I couldn't say what I wanted; I was laughing too much.

We stopped at the top, the people at ground level now unrecognisable.

He stared straight ahead, a bead of sweat trickling...

Roller Coaster Pitch 1

"I hate amusement parks." I said as I slid into the rollercoaster's seat. Next to me is a guy with muttonchops, of all things. He was big, but not too big, like the 'guy needs to buy two tickets on Delta', but more like, 'if he don't lay off the donuts he's going to be a two-ticket guy'.

"I hate rides. I'm here with my sister's kids. How about you?"

The carny came, checked our seatbelts. He copped a look down my top as he did it. Pig. He set the bar and moved off.

I took a better look at my fe...

Saturday Film Series

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Face-Lift 766

Guess the Plot

Friends with Death

1. When Death showed up at Mary Kate's high school, he didn't expect to fall in love with her. But now that he has, can he convince this seventeen-year-old hottie to enter a romantic relationship, or will she insist that she wants to just be . . . Friends with Death?

2. Jake thought he and Diana were "friends with benefits" but didn't realize until too late that she had an axe to grind...literally. How long can Diana's killing spree continue before...

Cartoon 637

Caption: Anon.

Your caption on the next cartoon! Link in sidebar.
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Writing Exercise

You board a roller coaster at your favorite amusement park, only to find the guy who's squeezing into the seat next to you is Evil Editor. Better finish your roller coaster pitch before the ride reaches the top of the first hill, because after that the screaming will drown out everything either one of you says.

300 words max.

Deadline: Sunday, 10 AM eastern.