Evil Editor's Blog, page 327

Saturday Film Series

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Face-Lift 772

Guess the Plot

A House Divided

1. Conjoined twins Johnny and Billy have always found it amusing that the Mason-Dixon Line runs smack under the middle of their bedroom. But it isn't so funny the day the fateful news comes from Fort Sumter.

2. The Robertsons' messy divorce gets even messier when their lawyers convince them both to demand the house in the settlement. The situation is at a standstill -- until George buys the Acme M-3600 chainsaw.

3. As the end of the world draws nigh, miracles are ...

Face-Lift 770

Guess the Plot

A House Divided

1. Conjoined twins Johnny and Billy have always found it amusing that the Mason-Dixon Line runs smack under the middle of their bedroom. But it isn't so funny the day the fateful news comes from Fort Sumter.

2. The Robertsons' messy divorce gets even messier when their lawyers convince them both to demand the house in the settlement. The situation is at a standstill -- until George buys the Acme M-3600 chainsaw.

3. As the end of the world draws nigh, miracles are ...

Cartoon 647

Caption: Evil Editor

Your caption on the next cartoon! Link in sidebar.

Writing Exercise

Description of the "Jar of Tang" story, taken from the Turkey City Lexicon:

"For you see, we are all living in a jar of Tang!"

A story contrived so that the author can spring a silly surprise about its setting. Mainstay of the old Twilight Zone TV show. An entire pointless story contrived so the author can cry "Fooled you!" For instance, the story takes place in a desert of coarse orange sand surrounded by an impenetrable vitrine barrier; surprise! our heroes are microbes in a jar of Tang...

New Beginning 753

My father drove me to camp. My mother couldn't drive, and someone had to stay home with Pete and Sarah. And it was easier going with my father. He didn't notice that I was nervous, so I could tell myself that nobody else would notice. We drove past a marsh with twisted cedar trees growing in it and a bird soaring over it, high and lonesome—an osprey, probably, because of the long wings. That was a good sign.

"It's good to see you looking so pleased." my father said. "Some people would be nervo...

Cartoon 646

Caption: EE, inspired by several submitters

Your caption on the next cartoon! Link in sidebar.

Face-Lift 769

Guess the Plot

Vampyre Guardian

1. Pasty, brooding Edwin becomes even more melodramatic when his girlfriend Betty develops a too-close-for-comfort relationship with a rather hairy boy named Jeremy. Did I mention this has vampyres and werewolves and I totally did not camp onto the Twilight phenomenon?

2. Marco cares for the kilometer-wide garden surrounding the castle of Countess Alexia who has forsworn blood in favor of devouring the essence of flowers. When the local villagers form a stake-wiel...

Cartoon 645

Caption: Anon.

Your caption on the next cartoon! Link in sidebar.

New Beginning 752

I don't really know how I was able to be Zara's sister. We were different as day and night, light and dark. And, if you were making that comparison… I would be the dark. When Zara bounced into the room with a spring in her step, it was as if the world lightened, just a fraction. Because, really, Zara was light.

Zara was everything that I'm not… brave, outgoing, talkative. When she entered a room, everyone in it hushed up to hear what she had to say. I followed her everywhere she went, like a s...