Evil Editor's Blog, page 337

Cartoon 624

Caption: Anon.

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Feedback Request

Phoenix's first query revision is up at her site. No doubt the author of Face-Lift 754's query (Eden's Rat) would like you to weigh in.

Face-Lift 758

Guess the Plot

Voices

1. They don't stop. They drone on and on. They nitpick and complain and harangue and argue and drive Simone bonkers. Oddly enough, she's deaf. Also, a hot otologist.

2. With his homeland in chaos and the Inquisition on his tail, Ethan turns to his only weapon: his own voice as he reads his captivating poetry. As he says, A broadsword will quite often kill, but nothing's worse than listening to verse.

3. Telephone operator Doris Spellman is put out of work by a computer. Whe...

Photoplay Challenge Results

The task was to write a dialogue scene using any or all of six provided photographs. I chose the submission below to display with speech bubbles. The other two submissions are in the comments. This one is by Whirlochre:

Cartoon 623

Caption: Angie

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Book Chat

The April chat (The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down, by Anne Fadiman) is today, Monday, April 19th, 4:30 PM eastern.

Ms. Fadiman hopes to attend. If you can't make it, but have comments or questions for Ms. Fadiman, send them on.

Writing Exercise Results . . .

are in the posts below. The task was to write a query based on a randomly chosen fake plot from one of the Face-Lifts on this blog. And to maybe throw in some bad analogies.

Fake Query 5

Face-Lift 454: Stellar


Dear Editor,

The iguana says your breath stinks, but I don't like the iguana and so I thought it'd be a good idea to query you with my 300,000 word autobiography about Aunt Marge's alien abduction.

I think the iguana is really an alien, but I don't know for sure. It's a really good liar. We always thought Aunt Marge was the liar, always cracking these jokes about a talking lizard in her backyard and a spaceship in her barn. It turns out she kept a straight face because she...

Fake Query 4

Face-Lift 366: Mysteries and Cemeteries


When ace homicide detective Bob Bungle discovers that everyone in the Eternal Rest cemetery is dead, he knows two things: there must be a crazed serial killer on the loose, and he won't need to stop at the florist shop to bring his wife flowers tonight. Bungle has one clue: the killer is an anal organization freak, having taken the trouble of labeling each corpse, putting their names and dates of death on stone tablets like butterflies in a display box....

Fake Query 3

Face Lift 168: Over Their Heads


OVER THEIR HEADS is a 100K novel about a couple searching for acceptance in a cold, cruel dystopia that rejects its past as politically incorrect.

Hearkening back to big game hunters of the Nineteenth century Carol and Tim invite their friends to share in the bounty of the beasts they've killed in an ambience worthy of the great hunters; Tarzan, Mandingo, Wily Coyote and Zulu. As Tim says; me like game, me like big gun: boom-boom, bang-bang. But there is a catch,...