Evil Editor's Blog, page 340

Writing Exercise Results . . .

are in the posts below. The task was to write a scene in which a date with Evil Editor is up for bids in a charity auction.

Charity Date Auction 3

"I'm here."

"That much would seem to be evident," Spock replied, lifting an eyebrow.

EE took that as his cue and closed the door behind him, whereupon a man with a wooden leg and a harpoon sidled up to him, peering at his face. "White," the man said, and turned his attention to EE's not inconsiderable girth. "Whale." He raised the harpoon.

Spock stopped him. "I believe you'll find, Captain Ahab, that he is not actually a member of the order Cetacea and therefore not the whale to which you refer....

Charity Date Auction 2

"The next item up for auction," the hostess said, "is the world's most famous editor, the world's only Nobel Prize-winning blogger, and the world's most renowned bedroom slipper model. The one and only Evil Editor!"

EE strode down the runway to the kind of applause normally enjoyed by rock stars, male strippers and superstar athletes.

"Due to what he described as catastrophic dates the last two years," the hostess announced, "EE has attached a few restrictions to his participation in this year'...

Charity Date Auction 1

"And now it's time for Sirius's 'Who Wants to Date an Alien' with your host Schmecky the Blue Tentacle."

A giant blue tentacle jumped up and down on two pediment-like tentacles and waved its body in time to the tribal rhythms of the avant-garde group from Alpha Centauri. Its eyes rolled around its cylindrical head and when they bumped together, tentacle-like arms appeared and waved at the audience.

"Welcome fellow xenophiles, today we're zapping denizens of a lovely blueish water planet. You'd ...

Feedback Request

The author of the query featured in Face-Lift 660 would like your opinion of a new version, now posted in the comments there.

Book Chat Reminder

Don't forget that the April chat (The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down, by Anne Fadiman) is April 19th, 4:30 PM eastern.

Ms. Fadiman hopes to attend.







Some who attended the March chat (Dangerous Laughter), wondered whether Steven Millhauser's novels would be more like his short stories or his architectural essays. I just read his Pulitzer Prize-winning novel Martin Dressler, and can report that it's pretty much a combination of both. Like the four stories at the front of Dangerous...

Saturday Film Series

Face-Lift 753

Guess the Plot

Soldier, Sage and Vagabond

1. Partners Izzy Schlepworth, Herman Schwein, and Fred Bronowsky tire of their law firm's name, so they change it--and start attracting some unusual clients, like the small, chubby man with goat's feet who owns a mysterious import business and pays them in ancient Roman coinage.

2. The nation of Mosar is on the verge of falling to the powerful Kjallan empire. Praying to their gods, Soldier, Sage, and Vagabond, hasn't helped. But Janto has a plan invo...

Cartoon 617

Caption: Stacy

Your caption on the next cartoon! Link in sidebar.

Face-Lift 752

Guess the Plot

11:11

1. With only 49 minutes to go, Cinderella faces a dilemma: should she risk riding back home in a pumpkin to stick around and find out what really makes Prince Charming the most desirable man in the kingdom? Also, a glass codpiece.

2. The eleventh day of the eleventh month. Then the eleventh minute of the eleventh hour. With each 'War to End All Wars' the tradition became more entrenched. Joss figures the next Big Truce will go down to the 11th second and catapult his mass...