Evil Editor's Blog, page 338
April 18, 2010
Fake Query 2
Facelift 14: Trevor's Song
What happens when a boy who is as awkward as a drunken giraffe on roller skates accidentally sets the heart of a lonely lady on fire?
Trevor is 12, socially inept, pimply, and basically failing his way through 7th grade. Not academically failing, mind you--just failing in every way that society deems worse than falling off the Empire State Building with a bag of pianos. Girls ignore him, jocks stomp him, and his only friend is his dog. And even she bites someti...
What happens when a boy who is as awkward as a drunken giraffe on roller skates accidentally sets the heart of a lonely lady on fire?
Trevor is 12, socially inept, pimply, and basically failing his way through 7th grade. Not academically failing, mind you--just failing in every way that society deems worse than falling off the Empire State Building with a bag of pianos. Girls ignore him, jocks stomp him, and his only friend is his dog. And even she bites someti...
Published on April 18, 2010 07:02
Fake Query 1
Face-Lift 184: The Naked World
Dear Evil Editor,
Attached you will find the entirety of my zero-word, 500-page fiction novel, THE NAKED WORLD. This groundbreaking new novel is an exact re-telling of "The Emperor Wears No Clothes" except instead of being exactly the same it's all modernized and the Emperor is really the President and the protagonist is also the antagonist, a guy named Mr. Lillian who convinces the President to go around the world naked (hence the title).
But here's the catch that...
Dear Evil Editor,
Attached you will find the entirety of my zero-word, 500-page fiction novel, THE NAKED WORLD. This groundbreaking new novel is an exact re-telling of "The Emperor Wears No Clothes" except instead of being exactly the same it's all modernized and the Emperor is really the President and the protagonist is also the antagonist, a guy named Mr. Lillian who convinces the President to go around the world naked (hence the title).
But here's the catch that...
Published on April 18, 2010 07:00
April 17, 2010
Saturday Film Series
Published on April 17, 2010 06:15
April 16, 2010
Photoplay Challenge
Below are six photographs. Create a scene by putting the photos in any order and providing dialogue for as many characters as you wish in each scene. You do not need to use all six photos. Submit the photo number and identify the people as she, he-G, and he-NG, (Glasses/No Glasses)
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Published on April 16, 2010 13:41
Face-Lift 757

Guess the Plot
Embers
1. The story of Basil the Foolhardy, the world's least successful dragon slayer.
2. When Karla LeMerrick's job takes her across the globe, she assumes she has seen the last of her arrogant lover. But when he shows up on her doorstep in Istanbul, embers turn to flames. Will grease fire ensue?
3. Lenka Pelakova has a secret: by night she transforms into an enormous burning phoenix, engaging in fiery rampages that leave the town in embers. She'd like to rein in her bird side...
Published on April 16, 2010 06:19
Cartoon 622
Published on April 16, 2010 04:07
April 15, 2010
Writing Exercise

Step 1. Use this random number generator to get one integer between 1 and 744.
Step 2. Search the blog for the Face-Lift with that number. That gets you your title.
Step 3. Choose one of the fake plots and write a query letter for a book with that plot.
Extra credit for including three bad analogies in your plot summary.
Deadline: Sunday, 10 AM eastern. 250 words max.[image error]
Published on April 15, 2010 11:31
Face-Lift 756

Guess the Plot
A Vampire's Silent Genes
1. In the war between the werewolves and the vampires the vamps have one great advantage. With all that howling and jaw chomping the wolves can't sneak up on ANYBODY, while silently the Vampires slink through the darkness, their jeans-clad thighs making no whisk-whisk sound.
2. Sammy's mother was bitten by a vampire while pregnant with Sammy. At least, that's Sammy's excuse for not liking garlic, having fangs, and wanting to be a hemotologist.
3. A brillian...
Published on April 15, 2010 06:42
Cartoon 621
Published on April 15, 2010 04:05
April 14, 2010
Query Revisions

Because many writers resend their queries, and because Evil Editor usually just posts the revisions in the comments without actually commenting on them, I've entered into an experimental partnership with Phoenix, whose new blog is devoted to queries on Wednesdays, and possibly sometimes on Mondays, and possibly other days if she can squeeze it in to her schedule.
Phoenix often comments on revised queries on this blog, sometimes rewriting them so brilliantly you'd think she knows more about the...
Published on April 14, 2010 20:47
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