Betty Dodson's Blog, page 29

December 24, 2014

I Love Him But Can't Shake the Feeling of Being with Another Guy

Hi Dr. Betty,


I am 21 years old and have been with my boyfriend for almost 7 years. He is the only person I've ever had sex with. I love him but I just can't shake the feeling about being with another guy. I want to but the guilt will kill me and I love him too much to just end our relationship. As well we have a family together I don't want to jeopardize that.


I just don't know what to do. I can't stop thinking about it and I feel guilty and helpless.


Any advice?


Thank you

T.


Dear T,


Do I understand you correctly? At 21 to be with your BF for 7 years means you started when you were 14. That's way too young but here you are. And you have a family? You're a good example of lacking sexual experiences with other people naturally has you curious.



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Dan Savage: How Opening the Door to Nonmonogamy Can Save Your Relationship

It's Not Low Libido. It's Sexual Boredom

Is It Worse to Cheat with Your Body or Your Heart?

"Sometimes the Simplest of Details Can Improve Your Experience of Pleasure"


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Published on December 24, 2014 06:15

December 23, 2014

We Enjoy Three Types of Orgasm

Hi Betty


Thought I'd drop you a line about 3 orgasms...


My beautiful partner L is now highly orgasmic, and able to orgasm freely and often. She just ADORES this new-found freedom!!


I know that you feel that all orgasms derive from the clitoris, or rather, the whole clitoral structure.


L describes two kinds of orgasm. Clitoral and vaginal. In her mind they are separate and utterly different.


For clitoral stimulation she has started pillow-humping (still hasn't banished the deep-seated bugaboo about manual stimulation that her idiot step-mother kindly planted in her mind all those years ago)



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"Edging" is a Form of Orgasm Control

A Woman's Erection Needs 20-30 Minutes of Adequate Clitoral Stimulation

For Me, Vaginal Orgasms Without Clitoral Stimulation Happen Only at the Beginning of a Love Affair


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Published on December 23, 2014 05:27

December 22, 2014

I Feel Like There's Pent Up Sexual Energy in Me That I Can't Release

Dear Dr Betty,


I'm a 15 year old girl and I've just tried stimulating my clitoris with a strong shower head to achieve an orgasm. I've masturbated numerous times with my fingers, through penetration, but it had never been this intense. In the shower, if I aimed shower head at the right position and just held it, the muscles in my body begin contracting immediately. After only a short period of time, my thighs clench, my back arches involuntarily and embarrassingly, and I don't stop moaning or biting myself. However,



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First Time Orgasm

Betty's Rock 'n Roll Orgasm Technique

Awakening the Clitoris

A Woman's Erection Needs 20-30 Minutes of Adequate Clitoral Stimulation


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Published on December 22, 2014 05:16

December 18, 2014

I'm Never Wet When I Orgasm

Dear Dr. Betty,


I'm a great fan of yours. At 67, I've learned a lot from you. Too bad you live in NY and I in AZ. I sure would like to have fun with you. My question is when I orgasm with my vibrator, or with my husband, I'm never wet. My husband thinks I should be.


Please enlighten us. Thanks for all your help. O


Dear O,


The amount of lubrication women have or don't have varies tremendously. I have never had much natural lubrication from my forties on so I have always used copious amounts of my favorite 100% almond oil. Most health food stores carry it. Another obvious factor is that at 67 you are post menopausal which means your estrogen is much lower.) I do NOT recommend the crap Big Pharma puts out.



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Our Favorite Lubricants

Menopause & Hormone Replacement: One Sexologist’s Personal Experience

What Can I do About Vaginal Dryness?

Is it True that Oils & Vaginas Don't Mix?


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Published on December 18, 2014 05:43

December 17, 2014

We Have Oral Sex & Intercourse But I Can't Come At All

Dear Dr. Betty,


I was a virgin until I was 40. Up until then I had been masturbating with an electric toothbrush on my clit and sometimes a vibrator not on in my vagina. I have tried the hand stuff to try to make me orgasm with no luck. The problem I am running into is now that I am in a relationship with a guy (the guy I gave up my virginity to) I can't orgasm with him at all.


We have oral sex and intercourse and I can't cum at all. He has tried fingering also to no avail. We have been together for a year and a half. Just really frustrated right now. He makes me feel amazing I just can't seem to let go.


Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!!!


Dear R,



We Suggest: 


A Woman's Erection Needs 20-30 Minutes of Adequate Clitoral Stimulation

What is a Combination Orgasm?

For Me, Vaginal Orgasms Without Clitoral Stimulation Happen Only at the Beginning of a Love Affair

How to Best Use a Vibrator


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Published on December 17, 2014 05:57

December 16, 2014

Any Tips for Using a Diaphragm?

Hi Betty.


A few days ago I went to the healthcare center and tried out my size for a diaphragm. The woman who I had scheduled a meeting with was a midwife. She was really nice to me but still seemed like she was reluctant to the idea of me getting a diaphragm. She had a discussion with me where she asked me several times if I knew that there were other types of birth control that I could see myself trying out instead but I stood my ground and told her everything I knew about hormones and the diaphragm. In the end she stopped trying to convince me and I got to try out my size.



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If I Use a Diaphram During My Period Will it Cut Down on the Mess of Period Sex?


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Published on December 16, 2014 05:24

December 15, 2014

I'm Worried She'll Laugh at My Penis

Dear Dr. Betty,


I am 16 years old, and recently stumbled upon a video of yours, having to do with penis size. I recently blew a chance with an older, experienced girl, and just recently started "hooking up" with another. I feel as if my dick will be a joke to experienced girls.


I'm a late bloomer, and am expected to continue growing in all areas of my body, however, the girl I am with at this moment is down to have sex. I've already done oral play on her breasts, and I know for a fact she wants to fuck. I am worried she will just laugh about my dick. its not tiny, I'm around average size.


Dear G,



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Finally a Documentary on Penis Size

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Betty & Carlin's Preference for Vaginal Penetration

A Brief Dietary Guidline for Your Penis


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Published on December 15, 2014 05:41

December 12, 2014

If I was Attracted to Him I Should be Pouncing On Him at Every Turn

Dr. Betty,


In past relationships with long term boyfriends I've fallen into the bad habit of losing my libido due to all the normal factors: stress at work, unsatisfying sex, etc. I would say no more often than yes when an ex would try to initiate sex. I realize that's a problem but wasn't invested enough in those relationships to fix it.



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It's Not Low Libido. It's Sexual Boredom

Attraction Isn't Just About Sex, Though, Is It?

There is No Pink Viagra - Here are Your Options

Desire & Arousal are Two Very Different Experiences


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Published on December 12, 2014 05:48

December 11, 2014

Is Sex Just a Drive or Is It a Choice?

Dear Dr. Betty,


My uncle has prostate cancer, he is on treatment & okay at the moment. In regards to sex my auntie says he has no drive (he hasn't told me), apart from the erection issues (that shouldn't mean no sex).


Is sex just a drive, in a biological sense made of hormones, chemical reactions...Is it of the brain or mind & desire & passion are a must? Or is it a choice, which involves our humanity, reason and freedom? Something we can work on and get stronger with practice, like a muscle, if we decide sex is an important part of our lives.


I thought the sex drive or energy was the same one that takes us out of bed every morning, makes scrambled eggs or paints a still life...until we kick the bucket.



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Sex After Prostate Surgery

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Ejaculation Is Not Always an Orgasm

Sex Different After Prostate Cancer. Should I Get A Penis Pump?


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Published on December 11, 2014 05:54

December 10, 2014

Why are American Women Biased Against Intact Penises?

Hi Betty.


I am an uncircumcisised male and I was wondering if you could explain why American media and women are biased against intact penises. It seems that in American T.V shows or movies circumcision is automatic for the baby boy or if a male character is intact women will refuse to sleep with him until he has been snipped. Why is it that penises in America both real and fictional must be circumcised?


I would love to hear your thoughts. Thank you for time.


Dear A,



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"A Remedy for Masturbation Almost Always Successful in Small Boys: Circumcision"

Because Circumcision Generates $1B/Year

Circumcision is a “Severe & Irreversible Interference into Physical Integrity.”


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Published on December 10, 2014 06:36

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