Betty Dodson's Blog, page 25

I Felt More Like a Sexual Being Before I had Penetrative Sex

Hi Betty,

I have been watching your videos since I was fourteen years old and passing them along to all my friends who failed to have such a holistic and positive sex education. I trust that you will have an insightful answer to my question!

Every since eighth grade, I have always been very sex-positive and regularly masturbated. I had about two sexual partners during the span of high school and the beginning of college, but I never had penetrative sex. I was fine with masturbating and enjoyed it a lot, but I always REALLY wanted to lose my virginity and it was causing me a lot of anxiety (I now see how this desire is influenced by the patriarchal society).

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My Clitoris Burns When I Touch It

Dear Dr. Betty,

First of all, sorry if my English is bad, my native language is Spanish. Ok, on with it.

I'm a 22 year old woman and I've been masturbating since I was 14 or 15. The first years was just penetration with my fingers and I've never had an orgasm that way. I discovered my clitoris a long time ago after some internet searching and I have try clitoral stimulation with my fingers but something feels wrong when I touch it, it feels like it burns. I use the tip of my fingers to rub it, I've tried rubbing it directly, between my folds, tapping, etc and nothing feels good, sometimes I don't even feel like it's swollen or erect even though I'm wet in the moment.

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Do Vacuum Constriction Devices & Penis Prosthesis Please Women?

Dear Dr. Betty,

I don't believe you deal with the devices that help crippled penises. How well do vacuum constriction devices (Osbon, for example) and penis prosthesis please women? Is the prosthesis with the built in pump and reservoir worth the difference. I think you can install stiff tubes and bend it over when not in use.

I guess you'd end up with an obvious bulge which might be uncomfortable. On the other hand if you just have to bend it you would have a little spontaneity not to mention the free advertising during the "down time."

What is your experience with men using these solutions?

Dear J,

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How Can I Stop Female Ejaculation?

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Below is a recent question I received from a young woman.  I'm noticing that more and more women want to know "how can I stop ejaculating?"  So I asked some of my friends - the experts - to weigh in:

"I'm in my early 30's and have masturbated since I was a young child. I first experienced "squirting" in my teens and intermittently through out my late 20's. However, much to my dismay the frequency of squirting has increased over the past five years. I urinate before I engage in any sexual activity hoping this will dissuade the "squirting" but it doesn't seem to help. These days I masturbate much more with clitoral vibrators which I love, love, love!

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How Do I Explain to My 4 Year Old to Touch Herself in Private?

Dear Betty,

I love your site, it has helped me a lot, thank you and Carlin for the wonderful work you do.

I have a four year old girl, since she was three she loves to touch her vulva, she opens her legs and touch her all the time, everywhere, I want to be a sex positive mother so I let her do it, but I always try to make her understand that she has to do it in her room not in front other people, but she touches herself in the subway, in our living room, where she wants, I don't know what to do, if you could help me with your wisdom I will be very grateful to you.

I know it is a good thing that masturbation begin in chilhood as you say many times in D&R.

Thank you

A

Dear A,

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I Can Only Orgasm Alone Because of Body Image Issues

Dear Dr. Betty,

I am a 20 year old engineering student. For the last two years I have been unable to orgasm when having sex or mutually masturbating with my lover. I can only orgasm alone. This has taken a negative toll on my lover's self-esteem. Lately I have wanted sex less despite having just acquired our own space to play, and he told me that he is now feeling unloved. I think I am turning myself off, before and during sex, with my body image and an unhealthy sexual/romantic upbringing. I just do not know where to start tackling these issues.

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Could Large Labia Be the Cause of UTIs?

Hi there!

Ever since I achieved menarche at the tender age of 9 years old, I have had larger labia minora. Now I know this is a common "complaint" of women because so many people act absolutely repulsed by the sight of "meat curtains," "roast beef pussies," or any other demeaning, mostly meat-related titles given to longer labia minora... I even remember my sister asking me at age 12 "what is wrong with your JUNK??" like I was some sort of freak because my labia didn't look like hers (she's 3 years older than I am, but didn't have her first period until 6 months after I did)

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Went to Therapy & My Body Shut Down

Dear Dr. Betty,

I was repeatedly raped when I was nine years old over the period of several months. During this time, due to the immense trauma and pain, I learned to shut down completely and "go away" when it was happening. Now I'm 24 and I can't feel anything during sex. I can't even masturbate. It hasn't always been this way, when I was a teenager I masturbated frequently and was very good at giving myself pleasure. But at that time my trauma was not dealt with and I had pushed it to the very back of my mind.

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Afraid I'll Fart When I Orgasm

Dear Dr.Betty,

I am 20 years old and I have masturbated since 14, only clitoris stimulation and I can reach orgasm. However everytime I have sex or even masturbate I clench the anus muscles so I don't fart (embarassing...).

And when I try to not clench it I end up farting just a little bit and it's embarassing. I cannot orgasm during sex with my bf and I am afraid one of the big reasons it's because I clench (just to be clear, alone I can still have orgasm even thou I tighten the anus muscles)... and I tried clitoral stimulation during sex but it doesn't work, it seems like I don't have space to do it... Do you have any advice?

Thank you

Dear A,

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What Do I Do With Her Tight Vagina to Help Penetration?

Hi Betty

I've recently started seeing a girl that has an incredibly tight vagina. I haven't managed to climax yet and it is getting frustrating. Even with mutual masturbation it hasn't happened yet I reckon since i'm worried there may have been some other reason i couldn't maintain erection like ED.

Literally when i get hard after a good amount of foreplay, and she's wet enough i enter her and i just never seem to get it all the way in, but then after a short amount of time my erection goes. Even when she says it is in, it never quite feels like it is, and my feeling is that the tightness is restricting blood flow in my penis and then i start to go flaccid.

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