Doug Ward's Blog, page 84
September 8, 2014
Ward's Laws #1960
Now that I have a smart phone I never look at the world around me. Luckily, there's an app for that. If it weren't for Google street view I'd walk right into a telephone pole.
September 6, 2014
Ward's Laws #1958
My barber has strict orders not to show me the back of my hair.
September 5, 2014
Ward's Laws #1955
Did you ever see a house with tons of stuff outside and wander up to it thinking it was a yard sale? That's my lawn. Get the heck off of it or I'm calling he cops.
September 4, 2014
Ward's Laws #1953
I'm baffled by the historians who study the Hatfield McCoy feud. Dedicating their intellectual life to two family's violent argument which had no effect on our world is kind of pointless in my mind. Well, at least they have a hobby.
September 3, 2014
Ward's Laws #1952
Back in the 70's scientists created the mood ring. A wearable device that could interpret if a person was happy or sad. More than 40 years later what has science brought us? Mind-bending mental powers, or cyber enhanced psychic abilities? No, they're still riding on the laurels of the mood ring. Come on scientists. You've got computers and robots, what did we have back then? Slide rules and the Dewey Decimal system. Even NASA went back to the rocket. Just watch a few episodes of Star Trek so you can rip-off more ideas from the past you lazy bums.
September 2, 2014
Ward's Laws #1950
Ok, I been receiving government subsidies for my FarmVille account over the last five years. So, what's it to ya?
August 31, 2014
Ward's Laws #1947
A pocket protector doesn't make you a nerd. It's the slide rule and the things you bling it out with that does.
August 30, 2014
Ward's Laws #1945
Does anyone know if Febreze can cover the stench of a corpse? I mean a body in full putrefaction? Not that I have one here mind you. I'm just thinking ahead... Ummm... Wondering. That's it. I'm just... Never mind.
August 27, 2014
Ward's Laws #1943
Bumper pool is the disappointing answer to a small room.
August 26, 2014
Ward's Laws #1941
My dog is blind. I believe he thinks I'm a god. Three times a day I make food appear. I also make his poop disappear but I don't think he understands that one.
